Chapter Text
the alarm sounds. somehow Yoongi managed to actually listen to it and leave bed. little steps he thinks. mornings are practical, he leaves bed, washes his face if he’s feeling it, eats something if he wakes up feeling hungry, grabs tons of coins his father always leaves for him and says goodbye to his mother. Yes, i ate, mom. don’t worry, he easily lies.
mornings are easy too, he doesn’t grab the bus, he takes an uber and peacefully sees the landscape while listening to his favorite playlist, just waiting until he sees the familiar building he has been visiting the last few years. he pays the man with some of the coins he got and says goodbye to him. Now in front of the building, he breathes
mornings can be difficult too. he steps in, shyly says hi to everyone and no one, and tries to avoid eye contact with his classmates, he takes his seat and continues working on his sculpture. his only uni friend, Jongseob, is already working on his own project. Yoongi sees his friend tries to talk to him, but today is not a good one to interact with people so he puts his earphones and focus on his project. the sculpture class was surprisingly inspiring.
since Yoongi started his art degree, he felt like after the first semester, all that desire of making art vanished. he doesn’t want to admit it, but his teachers’ criticism were really hard for Yoongi. “all the semester you didn’t bring anything worthy like your classmates” his professor said. it was a miracle Yoongi didn’t cry after that. his anxiety got worse and he purposely avoided going to class if the class activity was that he had to show his drawing in front of everyone. it was getting hard to breathe
after class, Jongseob playfully grabs his hand and Yoongi freezes, he discreetly moves his hand away and pretends he doesn’t see Jongseob's hurtful face. Yoongi asks his friend if he wants to eat something, that it’s on him, and Jongseob quickly goes back to his playful self. Yoongi has learned how to fix social situations because it’s not his friends’ fault that yoongi has become so uncomfortable with himself.
Yoongi eats when he’s with company because he doesn’t like being questioned about why he doesn’t. so he puts his social mask on and starts talking and eating with Jongseob. he seems not to notice Yoongi is pretending, so it’s another successful day performing outside his room. they say goodbye, and Yoongi this time takes the bus. he doesn’t like spending two times a day on ubers even though that’s why his dad leaves him money, but that’s how he wants to be.
Once he’s on the bus, he takes his phone out and sees the group chat is active, he smiles.
lover boys
jungkook
guys, we need to go to Malaysia for my birthday plsssss
taehyung
jungkook, may i remind you i’m a medicine student and the only way i get money is because my parents give me an allowance for food and books
Yoongi
yah, jungkook-ah i only sell 10 cookies a week, i can’t afford that
jungkook
booooooooo
hoseok
wait guys
namjoon
let’s see if he’s cooking
hoseok
what if we sell food
namjoon
….
hoseok
just listen
Yoongi
go on
hoseok
thank you hyung!!
look, we have yoongi hyungs incredible new oven and his delicious pastry recipes.
i have some ideas myself, taehyung has a big instagram account, jungkook knows how to edit videos and namjoon can do logistics.
i think we can reach a good amount of money before august so we can book tickets to Malaysia for exactly jungkook’s day!!!
namjoon
i… think that can work
hoseok
yessss
taehyung
ok but we have to plan like right now everything
yoongi
we can do it this sunday in my house if y’all are free
namjoon
i can !
hoseok
x2 yes please i want it to be like the old times
taehyung
x3 i really miss you guys, i want to talk to you so badddd
jungkook
x4 let’s gooooo
jimin
guys pls 19 texts,,,, summarize pls
i’m busy with class but still count me in :D
days were good when yoongi didn’t have to interact with people, but it was different with his longtime friends. it’s like he could be a little more like himself, and he didn’t have to pretend when he didn’t want to talk or when he suddenly disliked physical touch, his friends never reclaimed and never showed him negative reactions to his awkward moments. So it was good that they would finally see each other. the last time was for christmas. he remembers tenderly the face of his friends when they saw all the food yoongi prepared for them. Yoongi loved feeling useful. it was going to be a good reunion as well.
his phones vibrates again
jungkook
hyunggg, seokjin hyung is asking if we’re going to have the sleepover before he leaves to the States
Seokjin was also a medicine student, he befriended his group friend because taehyung was always talking about how handsome and smart his hyung was. he was the last person Yoongi let in his heart before deciding he can’t control more emotional connections with people.
yoongi
we can do it this friday so it doesn’t affect this sunday’s plan
jungkook
oh wait, i will invite him too because the reason is my birthday hehe
can i hyung?
yoongi
sure, i don’t see any problem
plans for a whole weekend? maybe these weren’t little steps, Yoongi thought. for a moment it’s so easy to breathe