Chapter Text
The Way To You
A Dramione Socmed AU
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Transcribed
[IMG 001]
To: Lavender
Hermione: Babe can you call me I need an out
Hermione: He just picked his nose and ate it at the bloody table
Hermione: Lav please
Hermione: Call me PLEASE
[IMG 002]
To: [Screaming Cat Emoji] not lavender!!!
Hermione: I'm so sorry again
Not Lavender: Quite all right
Not Lavender: I hope you made a clean escape
Hermione: Thank you so much for calling. It was very kind of you.
Not Lavender: I didn't mind
Not Lavender: I'm sorry your date was so uncivilized
Hermione: Me too
Not Lavender: Had you any idea beforehand?
Hermione: I didn't... it was a blind date
Not Lavender: Bold of you to accept
Hermione: It's put me off doing it again
Hermione: In any case don't let me bother you further. You've done me a kindness already
[IMG 003]
To: [Screaming Cat Emoji] not lavender!!!
Not Lavender: Happy to help. For what it's worth you sound lovely.
Hermione: You spoke to me for maybe a minute
Not Lavender: It was a lovely minute
Not Lavender: I wouldn't mind another, sometime
Hermione: A whole second minute?
Not Lavender: Only if you're truly keen.
Hermione: I... did like your voice
Hermione: I didn't even catch your name
Hermione: Only that you are decidedly Not Lavender
Not Lavender: You never know. It could be my middle name.
Hermione: Unlikely!
Not Lavender: My mother is very fond of flowers
Not Lavender: But also I think I like having a bit of mystery. Isn't that alluring?
[IMG 004]
To: [Screaming Cat Emoji] not lavender!!!
Hermione: Or perhaps you're a serial murderer
Not Lavender: You'd have to take my word
Hermione: Perhaps I'M the serial murderer
Not Lavender: With a voice like yours, you certainly could lure in your share of prey
Hermione: What do I call you then, Mr. Mystery?
Not Lavender: How about just D.
Hermione: Okay... in that case, I am just H.
D: Hyacinth... Hydrangea... Heather... Holly...
H: [Bouquet Emoji]
H: Daisy... Daffodil... Dahlia... Dittany... Deutzia...
D: [Thinking Face Emoji]
[IMG 005]
To: [Screaming Cat Emoji] not lavender!!!
H: Maybe no flower names
D: Fair enough
D: H it is
H: Okay, D
D: Have you gotten home safely?
H: Just arrived and took the terrible shoes off. Much better.
D: Glad to hear it.
H: I think I will have a glass of wine and soak in the tub. Thank you again, truly.
D: Certainly. Have a good evening
[IMG 006] Hermione's private Twitter profile. Her user image is of a Moomin folding a switchblade with a serene look on its face. Her header is a sign that says "You're creating problems in your head again. Stop that". Her username is @dragonvine, and her display name is "mioninny." She has 6 followers, all mutual. The visible tweet in the screenshot reads "LAVENDER TEXT ME I SAVED YOUR NUMBER WRONG HELP"
[IMG 007]
To: 01912127624
Lavender: Hermione why the all caps
Hermione: I saved your new number wrong omfg I must have messed it up when you gave it to me
Lavender: too many pimms
Hermione: shhhhhhhh
[IMG 008]
To: Lavender
Lavender: So why the panic
Hermione: Well I had that date tonight
Lavender: RIGHT YES YOU DID
Lavender: How'd it gooooo
Hermione: DREADFULLY
Lavender: Oh dear
Hermione: He picked his nose and ATE IT
Hermione: AT THE TABLE????
Lavender: [Nauseated Emoji]
[IMG 009]
To: Lavender
Hermione: So I texted you for a way out and said please call and you did
Hermione: Well not you
Hermione: The number I thought was you
Lavender: And????
Hermione: It was some man
Hermione: He was very nice about it but also clearly not you
Lavender: Hahahaha oh no
Lavender: And??
Hermione: And what?
Lavender: Did you save the number?
Hermione: ...
Lavender: Hermione
Hermione: YES
[IMG 010]
To: Lavender
Lavender: YES!!
Hermione: I texted to thank him after and he... flirted?????
Hermione: He said I had a lovely voice
Lavender: Did you flirt back????
Hermione: [Hiding Behind Hands Emoji]
Lavender: YEEEEEEESSSSSSS
Lavender: What's his name? Do we know him?
Hermione: I don't know
Lavender: What
Hermione: He said he liked a bit of mystery so we exchanged initials
Lavender: He could be an axe murderer
Hermione: That's what I said
Hermione: And then he just flirted more
[IMG 011]
To: Lavender
Lavender: Lucky bitch
Lavender: You know if I got the wrong number it'd be some taxi service in Leeds
Lavender: Not a sexy man who flirts relentlessly
[IMG 012] Draco's private Twitter profile. His user image is a black and white image of himself, hair flopped in front of his face as he looks down at the ground. His header is a screenshot of Bilbo Baggins reacting wearily to someone ringing at his door just as he's sat down for dinner. His username is @ocard, and his display name is "d". He has 5 followers, all mutual. There are two visible tweets in the screenshot. They were posted within a minute of one another. In order of posting, they read: "i can't stop thinking about her voice" and "maybe it's just been too fucking long"
[IMG 013]
To: Blaise
Blaise: okay what happened last night
Draco: What do you mean?
Blaise: your weird tweets
Draco: I knew I shouldn't have let you on there
Blaise: Oi best mates keep no secrets
Draco: Yeah? Whose knickers were on your floor last time I was over
Blaise: No idea what you're on about
Draco: Sure
Blaise: The tweets?
Draco: It's nothing, some woman texted me due to a wrong number mishap
Blaise: You said voice
Blaise: Unless you've charmed your bloody phone you're leaving something out
[IMG 014]
To: Blaise
Draco: You're an impatient git
Draco: She texted for help getting out of a bad date
Blaise: And so you... did that?
Draco: I called
Blaise: And?
Draco: I spoke to her for literally one minute
Blaise: One minute and you were tweeting about it at midnight?
Draco: We also texted
Blaise: Right so who is she
Draco: I have no idea
Draco: We exchanged initials and talked for a few minutes
Blaise: That's all??
[IMG 015]
To: Blaise
Draco: She seemed to like flirty texts
Blaise: Oh bravo you've made it through fourth year unscathed
Draco: Why the fuck do I put up with you
Blaise: Because I put up with you
Blaise: Are you going to text her again or are you going to whine about the what-if for weeks and then go back to being a miserable hermint watching muggle films
Draco: I like them
Blaise: That is not my point
Draco: You'd like them too if you'd try
[IMG 016]
To: Blaise
Blaise: The woman, Draco
Blaise: Are you going to text her again
Draco: I don't know
Draco: Maybe?
Blaise: You're hopeless
[IMG 017]
To: Lavender
Lavender: Well?
Hermione: Well what
Lavender: Are you going to text your mystery man again?
Hermione: And say what? "Thanks yet again"?
Lavender: You could introduce yourself properly?
Hermione: I know literally nothing about him. He could be a muggle for all I know.
Lavender: Is that a problem?
Hermione: I'd rather not do that again, it felt like I was lying to paul every time I dodged questions about work
Lavender: I guess that's fair
Lavender: But you liked the flirting
Hermione: It was just flirting
Hermione: He's probably already forgotten me
[IMG 018]
To: Lavender
Lavender: Unlikely
Hermione: How can you be so sure?
Lavender: An adorable back and forth text banter is not the normal outcome from a misfired text!
Hermione: Nor is it exactly the introduction to any great literary romance
Lavender: Fuck's sake, Hermione
Lavender: Do you want cholera and a weeping man at your grave or do you want a snog and a shag and someone to snuggle at Christmastime?
Hermione: ...
Lavender: I swear to Merlin if you have to think about that I'm finding a new best friend
[IMG 019] A tweet from Hermione's private Twitter that reads: what if I text him and he ignores it
[IMG 020] A tweet from Draco's private Twitter that reads: okay fine i'll text her