Chapter Text
I’m tired Ava, lets just go home.
We need to talk about what Miguel told me.
You got charmed by some blond.
Its more complicated than that. Have a drink with me.
Fine. I’ll have a water.
Nope. No water, not tonight.
Oh, but… You know that I’ve… I don’t… I’ve never...
What?
No.
What, you’ve never had a drink?
No, not with alcohol. No.
What about communion wine.
I just take tiny sips.
Oh my god. Okay, this is going to be great.
What is?
I get to be the one that gets you drunk for the first time!
Drunk? No, no, I thought it was just one drink.
No. Uh-uh. Not anymore, sister. Oh, I am not letting this opportunity pass. Hans! Start lining them up.
Boom
Shouldn’t I start with something like wine or some—
Nope. Nope, nope. Say your prayers and bottoms up. Come on.
It smells lemony.
Yeah. That’s why its called a lemon drop. Come on cheers.
Whoo!
Ooh, it’s… It’s sweet.
Yeah.
That’s not entirely unpleasant.
You know, that is, uh, one small sip for nuns, one giant drink for nun kind. Yes!
~~
And so, they danced.
Beatrices hair is down, and her sweater is off. She is moving to the music in a way that proves she has done this before. The dancing that is, not the drinking. A time before she was Sister Beatrice. When she was simply Beatrice.
Ava has taken off her cardigan and she is feeling the liquid courage. She dances like you’d think a girl who just got the feeling back in her legs. She’s eager, and uncoordinated. She’s jumping and excited. She watches Beatrice, wondering how many times she danced like this before she turned in her dancing shoes for a bible and a sword.
Beatrice is lost in it almost immediately.
The lemon drops on her lips, the music in her ears, the feel of Avas body next to hers on the dance floor. Beatrice grins because Ava is eager but uncoordinated. It just makes her more beautiful to Beatrice. And then she finds her eyes drop to Avas lips. She self consciously licks her own lips and begs her body not to respond. It is difficult to do when Ava is constantly moving in closer, entering her personal space and smelling like the delightful lemon drops Beatrice has come to love.
The music seems to be drowning out every thought of her past. Her mothers look of disgust. Her fathers look of anger. The teachers from her prestigious schools with their shame and regret.
Beatrice leans in, she nearly meets her lips with Avas, she stops herself in time to see that Ava did not pull away. She distracts herself of that thought by taking more lemon drops. If she thinks too hard about it, she will get lost in what it could or could not mean.
Ava felt the pull when Beatrice was next to her and then leaning in. She thought she was going to kiss her, she hoped she was going to kiss her. But she pulled away. She stopped.
Ava wonders if she can be certain of what she saw and felt.
She too decides that more lemon drops will help.
Further liquid courage and she takes Beatrice’s hands in her own, pulling her along the dance floor.
Another Lemon Drop.
And now their eyes meet for just a moment. Long enough for Ava to see Beas eyes drop down to her lips and then back up again. Beatrice closes her eyes, tilts her head back and moves with the music.
Ava feels it again. That magnetic pull.
Beatrice is moving with such ease in front of her.
She knows then that she won’t be able to stop it. Not now.
She is going to kiss her, she must.
She has no idea what will happen after. Perhaps Beatrice will be angry. Perhaps she will leave. Ava hopes that she does not. Ava hopes that Bea will kiss her back. She decides that the risk is worth it. She must know.
She thinks about it now, a bit too long, and she almost loses her nerve.
But then Beatrice has glided across the dance floor again and is within arms reach. Beatrice tilts her head back, pulls her hand through her hair and smiles wide.
Ava knows then, she is fucking done. Lost in Beatrice.
Ava puts her hands on Beatrice’s hips, ever so lightly guiding her away from the dance floor. She says Beatrices name, barely above a whisper. Beatrice follows her away from the crowd and then they are alone.
Ava backs up further and further, guiding Beatrice by the hips as she goes until she feels the wall meet with her back.
“Bea?” Ava whispers again.
Beatrice is looking right at her, her eyes are wide and her pupils are blown, it could be all the lemon drops. She smiles at Ava, cocks her head to the side, questioning Ava. Did Ava ask her something? It seems like Ava is asking her a question, but the question never comes.
“Ava?” She asks in turn.
Ava reaches up on her toes, keeping her hands on Beatrice hips she leans in very slowly, eyes still open looking for approval. She is prepared to stop if Beatrice asks her to or makes any indication that she should. But Beatrice never does. Instead, she just watches Ava get closer and closer.
Avas eyes close now, she leans in and hovers her mouth just above Beatrices, one final chance for Beatrice to pull away.
Ava places her lips on Beatrices, its chaste and soft. She lifts her lips and places another kiss at the corner of Beas mouth. She’s waiting for a response, anything, from Beatrice.
Beatrice gasps into Avas mouth. That is all Ava needs now. Beas lip’s part with her gasp and Ava pulls back just far enough to search for approval and consent. Beas eyes are still closed though and her mouth still slightly open. Does she want more? IS she waiting for Ava to make another move. Does she need Ava to continue the pursuit. Ava closes her eyes once more and leans back in. This time she places her hungry mouth over the top of Beatrices lower lip and then the top. Suddenly she feels Beatrices hands which must have been hanging at her sides move to her waist and push her against the wall. It isn’t hard but it is firm. It is the first decision Beatrice appears to be making here. She does not want Ava to move, she wants her here, and close. That much is clear.
Ava gasps at the contact and Beatrice moves her lips for the first time. She opens her mouth trying to capture Avas lips with her own. Ava moves one arm behind Beatrice and rests it at the small of her back, the other moves from her hip up her side to find her cheek. Once she’s reached Beas cheek, she pushes her fingers behind her head and pulls Beatrice tight against her body. Beatrice gasps again and breaks the kiss.
Her eyes pop open, the disconnect of their lips audibly makes a pop sound and Ava smiles at the look in Beas face. She does not want to stop. She does not want this to end. She wants more. How much more does she want, how much more can Ava give her. There does not seem to be a line drawn in the sand and they are both fully aware of this.
Beatrice makes the next move. She leans in, nudging Avas face to the side runs her nose gently across Avas cheek and stops at her ear lob. She kisses softly here, Ava shudders under her touch.
“Do not stop.” Ava begs.
Beatrice had no intention of stopping. She opens her mouth, her warm breath roams over Avas neck, she moves with deliberation, small soft kisses down Avas neck, across her collar bone and moving across her chest. Ava moves her hand into Beatrices hair. She’s not pulling Beatrice in closer, just holding. She appreciates Beas gentle exploration. She imagines Bea needs this. Small slow motions. The fingers she moved into Beas hair are scrunching her hair gently, hearing the sounds it evokes from Bea as she peppers soft kisses long Avas chest.
Bea speaks “Ava, I… have thought of this so many times.”
“Mmm” Ava questions.
“You do things to me.”
Beatrice captures Avas lips quickly in her own. “You have always done something to me.”
She is begging for entrance into Avas mouth with her lips. Ava grants entrance and Beatrice pulls her tongue up along the roof of Avas mouth and over the front of her teethe.
Avas body responds, she pulls her lips around Beatrices tongue and sucks back gently.
Beatrice moans but does not pull away.
Ava moves her fingers through Beatrice hair, her other hand moving down Beatrices side, and behind her. She wants to feel her, she rests her hand at first on Beatrices ass and waits for a response.
Beatrices is kissing Ava, it is becoming more intense, more desperate, she is not sure if she can stop, or if she even wants it to stop.
“Ava?” Beatrice asks tipping her forehead onto Avas.
“Mmm...” Ava pants.
“What exactly are we doing?’ Beatrice is asking Ava and herself.
“I have no fucking idea, Bea.” Ava is pulling back, looking for Beas eyes. “Do you want me to stop?”
Beatrice just shakes her head from side to side, reaching back to connect their foreheads.
“Do you want me to leave Bea” Ava prodded further.
More shaking of her head side to side.
Ava kisses Beatrices forehead. Beatrice Sighs.
Ava kisses Beatrices left cheek. Beatrice sighs again.
Ava grazes her lips gently over top of Beatrices lips and kisses her again on her right cheek. Beatrice sighs a final time.
“Bea, I could not spend another moment, being this close to you, thinking about you every single fucking day, and not in very ‘nun’ ways, without telling you. I need you to know.”
“Mmm…” Beatrice agreed now. “And now I know.” She chuckled.
“Yup” Ava drops her hands to her sides, one out of Beatrice hair, the other from Beatrices ass.
“And, perhaps Ava, you now know too, that I am struggling. Struggling to... What, I do not know. But at least you know…something.”
Beatrice moves both of her hands to cup Avas face. She moves in slow. Kisses her gently, Ava increases the intensity, Beatrice matches her and they both moan into open lips.
“Are we ok?” Ava asks
“I’d say we are more than ok.”
“Cool, great really.”
“Agreed.’
“Maybe we, go back out there. Close this place out. And, circle back, sans Lemon drops.” Ava is reaching for Beatrices fingers. Bea laces their fingers together and follows eagerly behind Ava, first to the bar, another drink, then back to the dance floor. Maybe, Beatrice wonders, she can teach Ava to dance.
The rest of the evening is not the same as the beginning. They dance closer, they have lingering fingers on waist, on arms and they both smile at the acknowledge of it.
Last call is made, they have a final lemon drop, return to the dance floor and wait for the over head lights to turn on. When they do, Beatrice hands Ava her cardigan, she pulls on her sweater and pulls her hair into a low bun.
They leave the bar together, fingers laced together.
Heading back to their apartment.
Lemon drops still evident.