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The grand halls of Fortemps Manor were filled with music, laughter, and conversations of all kinds. Discussion about politics, family, loss, joy, and much to Stephanivien's chagrin, marriage. There wasn't enough wine in the whole estate that could potentially make him like any of the conversations that were forced upon him: marriage proposals, his recently departed brother, his responsibility as heir of house Haillenarte, and love.
His father has been going on and on about how love between two men or two women is a sin, and thus should be considered heresy by the Holy See. While some have shown support, many others have also kept quiet or ignored his ramblings. Still, the repeated words began to wear his patience down. Their family was already being bombarded from all sides with accusations of heresy, they didn’t need yet another and one that would be true for once. He knew where he could push with his father. When it was safe to do so and when there were too many unknown variables to act. His work at the Manufactory was safe. They both knew he was the perfect man for the job and he could further advance his inventions, giving them a good chance to reclaim the honor of their house… His preferences in love, however…
Haurchefant and Francel were nowhere to be seen (probably patrolling around Camp Dragonhead), Artoirel was also stuck in some other uncomfortable discussion (yet another about his half-brother), Laniaitte was preoccupied with Emmanellain who kept trying to court her and Aurvael was spending time with this noble lady he likes (at least one of them was having a good time at this party). He didn't want his sour mood to ruin or aggravate any of his siblings or friends' moods. Thus, did wine become his sole companion that evening? He managed to dance around the conversations, eclipsing himself at the mention of "We should get to know each other more, my lord" or "Would you dance with me, my lord?" Or even "My lord, my daughter would make for a wonderful wife for you".
Stephanivien does not want a wife. He does not want to settle down. He does not want to take up arms to defend his nation. He wants to invent and improve his machines and the lives of his people. He wants to freely love whoever he wants and live his life however he feels. He wants-
He stops his train of thought, his vision blurred and distorted by the excess of wine. He is afraid of his own thoughts. Afraid he might say too much. He excused himself out of this painfully long party and started to make his way back to the Manufactory.
Despite himself, he grabbed another bottle of wine that he kept drinking on his way back. He didn't really know where his legs were taking him, but who was he to argue with them? Best case scenario, he would collapse on the floor of the Manufactory, maybe crying himself to sleep as he felt the weight of his loneliness crushing him into slumber. Worst case scenario… He could be in for a good time, but he'd have to deal with the aftermath… He's not ignorant of what can happen in the lowest corners of Foundation. At that moment, he was tempted to venture there and cause a scene. What would the nobles say? Stephanivien can already hear the gossip. What would his family say… What would his father say… What would Hanyo-
Stephanivien stopped in his tracks, his gaze falling upon the cobblestones under his feet. His mind has ever wandered back to this mysterious Miqo'te that had taken residence at the Manufactory since they first met. He was fascinated by him but there was still a distance between them that was driving Stephanivien crazy. Haurchefant had mentionned Hanyo was going to be distant and cold when they initially met. Ever since then, Stephanivien had worked to slowly but surely to get closer, get to know him, get him to fall for him and he knows he's so close now… But what if… What if Hanyo couldn't love him back… What if he was doing all of this, all this work, taking all these risks to get close to someone who wouldn't love him back? All these thoughts coupled with the world spinning violently around him put pressure on his stomach and soon, he was clinging to a wall, vomiting what were hours of frustration. Good thing the streets were empty this late…
"Stephanivien?"
Halone above, please kill me… Of all the people- Stephanivien thought to himself as he felt his stomach turn once more. He felt a warm hand on his back as tears prickled his eyes. He was cold, he was sick, he was drunk and he was miserable, yet despite it all, the warm hand on his back grounded him at that moment.
“Let’s get you inside or you’ll get sick in the cold like this,” said Hanyo, his voice low and warm in Stephanivien’s ears. He could barely look at the other man in this moment, his eyes still fixed on the ground. “Come on, I’ll carry you.”
“W-w-what?! No… No, no, no, no. I think… I think I can-” Stephanivien began to say before losing his footing and began to plummet towards the ground. He closed his eyes, bracing for a hard impact… yet it never came.
“Hold on to me,” Hanyo said as he easily took Stephanivien in his arms. Halone, please strike me down from the mortal realm… Thought the Elezen, feeling embarrassed to be carried this way.
“P-please… Put me down Hanyo…” Stephanivien said, his eyes closed as he was desperately fighting his vertigo. Despite his words, he kept clinging to the other man like his life depended on it. Hanyo chuckled lightly, a melody Stephanivien had never heard before.
“And have you fall down the stairs? I think not.” He said as he climbed up the stairs towards his room. “You’re not too heavy. Just enjoy the ride and let me know if you are going to be sick again.” For a brief moment, Stephanivien swore he saw Hanyo smile a bit. They were so close in this moment and he was such a mess…
After what felt like an eternity for the Haillenarte heir, they had finally arrived at their destination. Stephanivien’s old room at the Manufactory hadn’t changed much. There was a shy attempt at personalization, but the room was still very bare. Hanyo made Stephanivien sit down at the desk and brought him a tall glass of water.
“I’ll let you use the room tonight. It’s yours after-” Hanyo was turning away to leave the room when he felt the other man cling to his back, his arms wrapping around his, hugging him tight.
“Please stay!” Stephanivien cried as he clung to Hanyo. The tears he had been holding back all this time began to flow down like rivers. “I don’t want to be alone… Not tonight… Please…” He sobbed as the weight of his loneliness and fears crushed him. Hanyo remained quiet for a moment before he tenderly took Stephanivien’s hands. He was unusually gentle and warm today.
“Alright… Go wash yourself. I’ll get you a change of clean clothes and a tall glass of water.” Hanyo said as he felt Stephanivien cling to him harder. His sobs echoed around the empty apartment. “I won’t be far. I promise you.”
After some convincing and a lot of bargaining with a very drunk and sad Stephanivien, Hanyo managed to have him changed and tucked into bed. All this while, Stephanivien kept clinging to Hanyo’s shirt. The bed felt like a cloud and smelled nice.
“You smell nice Hanyo…” Said Stephanivien without really thinking as he nuzzled the pillows. Hanyo stayed silent next to Stephanivien, sitting on the edge of the bed, one hand on the other’s shoulder. He’s so warm… I want his hands all over me… Thought Stephanivien as he felt his consciousness slowly slip away.
“Say… Hanyo?”
“Mhm?”
“What are your thoughts about love between two men?” Stephanivien blurred out the question without thinking. He was about to curse himself when Hanyo’s voice rose next to him.
“Love is love… Gender shouldn’t matter.”
“Would… Would you be able to love another man?”
Hanyo didn’t answer for what felt like a long time. When he finally did, Stephanivien swore he could feel Hanyo’s warmth closer to him. He felt the other’s weight shift in the bed like he was leaning towards him.
“If I love someone, it’s not because of their gender or their status or rank. I love them for who they are.” Hanyo whispered. Stephanivien felt his body relax and sleep slowly take him. This was enough for him. He had his answer. Maybe all his efforts weren’t in vain. “I… Steph… I’ve been… I…” The rest was lost to slumber.
The next morning, Hanyo was still sitting on the edge of the bed. Did he sleep like this, Stephanivien wondered. He had some vague memories of what had happened the previous night and instantly felt a wave of shame wash over him.
“Morning. Did you sleep well?” asked Hanyo when he noticed the other rouse from his slumber.
“Yes… My thanks… My head is a mess however…"
"Let me get you some coffee and water. I can make you breakfast lat-"
"What were you saying last night?" Stephanivien said suddenly as he was recollecting the events from the previous night. He remembered vividly how Hanyo was leaning closer to him, talking… But the words never reached him. He failed to immediately notice the shift in the other’s behavior.
“When?” Hanyo asked as he left the bedside, beelining to the small kitchen. Is he.. avoiding the topic?
“Right as I fell asleep. You spoke my name, didn’t you?” asked Stephanivien, growing curious. He was met with silence as he watched Hanyo’s back for a while. With eyes half-closed, Stephanivien couldn’t make out many details about the other’s behavior.
“… I did…” he finally admitted as he kept his back to Stephanivien. Despite his hangover, Stephanivien rose up in an instant, his eyes focusing on Hanyo.
“Y-You did? What did you say?” Hanyo remained silent once more. Stephanivien was unsure whether he was being ignored or if Hanyo weighed his words. “… Hanyo?” He was about to get up when the other finally spoke up.
“Some things I hope only the gods heard…” Hanyo said in a very low voice, his face slowly turning a new shade of crimson. Stephanivien didn’t immediately notice the blush on his cheeks, but once he did, his fears were put to rest.
“Was it something naughty?” teased Stephanivien, testing the other’s reaction. While this was not part of his plan, this unexpected turn of events was very welcome. As quickly as he finished his words, Hanyo turned around, eyes wide, blush even more apparent on his face, and defending himself.
“Wha- Heaven’s no! No, of course not! I would never- Not-Nothing of the sort! Nothing bad either! I just-” Hanyo spoke so quickly, Stephanivien couldn’t help but laugh at the whole situation. A genuine laugh! One that takes root deep in one’s heart and reflects the pureness of their emotion…
“I’m teasing, I’m teasing… But it’s good to know it was something good!” Stephanivien smirked back. He relaxed in bed, hugging the pillow tightly as he kept a proud eye on Hanyo, feeling the happiness swell within him. “So you mentioned breakfast?”
Deep down, Stephanivien knew Hanyo felt something for him. The way he acts around him, the way he talks to him, cares for him... He’s so much more relaxed with me… And I don’t have to hide who and how I truly am… And this spark in his eyes when he looks at me… There was no more doubt in his heart: He was going to make this man his. He was the one. He is the man of his life. Haurchefant’s words still echoed in his mind, reminding him to have patience and let Hanyo come to him so he may let his heart heal.