Work Text:
Going Your Way
“You want me to come home with you?”
“It’s a job offer, Dick.” Lew said and shrugged because framing it like that sounded…well it sounded exactly like he meant it. He didn’t mean it to sound that way, but hell if he’d ever been great at hiding his intentions. “And some great food. I’ll take you to Coney Island, too. Down the shore, lots to do.”
“New Jersey, huh?”
“Yeah.” Lew said. Dick was looking him in the eye, studying him like he was the one who was interviewing him for a job. Lew couldn't keep eye contact, feeling like his eyes would betray him. “Company town, my family’s company. Not really picturesque , it's a factory.”
“Where in New Jersey?” Dick asked and watched him drink more, more than a normal sip of wine.
“Close enough to New York City, not really the shore. But by the ocean, up the Raritan River a little ways…” He felt himself babbling, like he didn’t know the answer to the question ‘where do you live’? Yeah, what a great intelligence officer. Couldn't even point to where he lived on a map when asked. Fuck.
“Current too strong to swim it?”
Lew snorted, alcohol went up his nose. He started coughing and shook his head. “It’s an industrial area, it would be wise not to ?”
“What are you saying, Nix?”
“Back in the day the plant blew up.” Lew said. “Only so much you can clean up. And it’s next to the Arsenal so wading through the swamp to get to the river at that point has a color to it that’s not natural. There are beaches for that. And if you want clearer water go upstream to New Brunswick. Embarrass some Rutgers kids with your fit body.”
“In the day ?”
“I was like 5 or 6. Plant blew up and took out a few square miles around it. Not our fault. ” Lew shrugged, trying to make it sound like less of a disaster than it was for a guy he was hoping would come back and work with him there. Also trying to ignore the fact that he wanted Dick to display his body for some college kids? What the hell. He drank another healthy swig of wine. “We rebuilt, it's a real company still. Promise.”
“The company that you want me to come work for, blew up ?”
“Hey, I was a kid, I didn’t do it.” Lew said with a grin and took another drink. Oh this was going fabulously well.
“Didn’t the Hindenburg also blow up in New Jersey?”
“That was down south and had nothing to do with Nixon Nitration Works.” He said defensively then sat up and tried to salvage this. “Factories blow up, hell in Sayreville the Morgan plant blew up.”
“I don’t think the Morgans are trying to hire me, Nix.”
“It wasn’t the Morgans, it was the Gillespie Company, during the last war and they thought it was German sabotage and you know what? Nevermind.” Lew said. "That's not here or there."
"It sort of is here and there , Nix." Dick said and smiled ever so slightly and used his hands to show he was talking about explosions and Germans.
"You do make a good point.". Lew said. What the hell were they even talking about now? What did they ever talk about? God, this was why he couldn’t get Dick out of his mind, because he did this shit .
“Wasn’t the Lindbergh baby kidnapped in New Jersey?” Dick smiled slightly, enjoying the trivia and watching Nix get animated.
“Yeah.” He answered and then took another drink because this was all circling the drain already and he might as well go with it. Lew threw up his hands. “You know what? New tactic. Yes. Lindbergh baby kidnapped in New Jersey. Hindenburg, blew up. Nixon Nitration works and Morgan Munitions explosions, and actually a lot of munitions explosions now that I think about it. Train wrecks. Morro Castle caught on fire while in the ocean, that was a feat. Hell, there have even been shark attacks where there should be no sharks. It’s a happening place. Our parachutes were even made there.”
“It sounds like I’m safer in Germany.” Dick said and Lew shook his head.
“Yeah, so fuck it. Let’s talk about where you’re from. Let’s get away from things that blow up.”
“I’m beginning to wonder if it’s just you .”
“Well, I blew up my marriage and on my way to doing the same for my liver.” Sure as fuck was blowing this conversation. He sighed, sank a little further into his bed and finished off the bottle of wine. “My Dad blows up easily, probably shouldn’t go home. You are on to something.”
“Lancaster county is country, but Lancaster is a respectable city .” Dick said. “The Amish really aren’t blowing a lot up.”
“Amish huh?” Lew said and looked him in the eye.
“I’m not Amish. Or Quaker.”
“Well, I’m definitely Jersey.” Lew said and threw the bottle over on the other bed. “There's countryside in New Jersey. It’s the Garden State. We can commute to work.”
“How did we get from a job offer to running away to a farm together?”
“I don’t want to work for my Dad.” Nix admitted. “Didn’t really want to work for my grandfather either. But when you get handed an executive position at the family company, well, I didn’t exactly have to work. Dad’s nowhere near the businessman grandpa was, and I’m sure he’s a cranky asshole because he was reminded of that every damned day."
“Are you drunk?”
“When am I not?”
“You’re a functioning alcoholic, you're usually not rambling this much. Or so reflective.”
"Everyone but you is a functioning alcoholic. You gave me Hitler's wine cellar, what did you expect me to do?" Lew asked and looked at the bottle. “I went to war to get the hell away from home. From all of it. It’s fucking swamp Dick, and every day it gets more crowded or blows up. They're talking about building a Turnpike and it's going right through my backyard when they do. Jersey changes fast, changes every time I go home. Not fast enough in Nixon, not in my family. I didn’t even have to write an address on my draft card, just Nixon, NJ. Like I belong to it. And I do. Lewis Nixon the third . My own name is a reminder of who I am, company property. It was fine when I was flying to California to go to the opera with my Mom, never really having to do shit on my own, but now I’m dreading going back to that life. It was easy, then I became part of Easy and…”
Dick watched him make eye contact briefly and let that trail off as he remembered there was a partial bottle in his hands. As always he picked up for him when he needed him to. “Nothing happens fast in Lancaster. I’m just afraid for the Amish driving on the road with the way you drive.”
“Keep me off the roads then, you always drive anyway. Is that why?” Lew finally smiled, realizing that he was going to have to be the one to tell Dick that yeah, he wanted to go run away and live on a farm with him and churn butter in some biblical way. God, he was in love with his best friend and his best friend was so humble and selfless he’d never look at him and say, ‘I want you’. Good thing he was a rich selfish spoiled kid who didn’t give a damn about what people thought of him and…
“What about Chicago, Nix? You promised to take me there.” Dick said as Nix got a soft look on his face.
“I did.” Lew said and took another drink. He cared what Dick thought of him. He cared enough to try to upset him and push him away by ranting about his last jump behind the lines, talking about ‘the boys’ dying like they were going to be a nuisance to write letters about, and Dick had looked at him like he wanted to take away his pain.
“Lew?”
There it was, calling him by his actual name. Softly. That concern. He looked up at him and wondered if being selfish was worth the blow up, the push away that said ‘I never liked you like that’ and losing his best friend. He’d have to be the brave one here because Dick would never cross that line first, son of a bitch would charge the enemy by himself but would never get up and kiss his best friend and tell him that going anywhere without him was unthinkable . “Have you had good pizza? There's a place down in Perth Amboy that has some amazing pizza. Ever had a Pork roll egg and cheese while walking on the boardwalk? Hell, I need to share some great places in New York with you. Good food."
“I'd like to see some of America that we’re fighting for. I’ve seen enough of Europe. From the air and ground.” Dick admitted.
“Going my way, perchance?" Lew asked. He knew it sounded flirty, but that’s what the booze was for- a scapegoat.
"I always do.". Dick replied and wondered if this was it, if this was as far as they got in asking if what they had was a little mor e than shared looks, knees touching, thinking the world ended as Lew took a shot to the helmet. Or that knife Lew gave him, engraved like an engagement ring, but it was something he just assumed rich people did at the time. "Maybe we should get that dog of yours first."
That did it, the man already stole his heart and now was going to help him steal his dog back. He struggled to get up, but the bed was too soft and he was too sloshed. Dick came over to help, holding out his hand to help him up and instead Lew pulled him down and kissed him.
“Is this why you’re drunk? Working up the nerve to do this ?”
“Seemed like a great excuse if you didn’t respond by slipping me tongue .” Lew said, their lips so close they touched as they talked. Okay, he wasn’t drunk enough to imagine that. If anything he was expecting Dick to be not great at kissing, but of course he was good at that too. Now he looked into his eyes and couldn’t look away. Oh, this was actually happening.
“Well if you’re going to do it, do it right.” Dick said and kissed him again before standing back up. “But you’re drunk so I’m not going to do more until you’re sober.”
“Like sober sober?” Lew sat up in a panic. Ok, too fast, but his head was already swimming from realizing Dick just shot right past the ‘I kissed a guy’ and went straight to ‘I'm not taking advantage of you in your inebriated state’. “Can you not be honorable right now and maybe help me sweat some of the alcohol out of my system?”
“When you’re sober.” Dick repeated and gave him a teasing smile.
“ How sober?” Lew said.
“Normal Nix.” Dick replied.
“Oh, thank god .” He said and struggled to get up. “I’ll go jump in the cold shower, be right back.”
“That’s a clever reason to have to get naked.”
“Don’t go anywhere.” Lew said and as he struggled to get up Dick sat down on the bed.
“You probably shouldn't go anywhere alone this drunk.”
“God, Dick, make up your mind!” Lew yelled and gripped his leg.
“Did you hear me when I said not alone?”
“No!” Lew snorted. “I think my heart is pounding so loud I can’t hear anything but cursing myself for getting this hammered. You and your standards.” Lew said and then thought about that. “Wait, you’ve been asking me to swim with you since we got here.”
“Yeah.”
“Was that some kind of code ?”
“You mean like ‘Going my way’ was our thing?” Dick bent over and kissed him again, tasting the wine a little less when he did. He hovered over him, whispering against his lips, “Like you rubbing against my knee on the train? Like you offering to take me to Chicago while rolling a cigarette around on your lips like you wanted something else in your mouth? Like you stashing your alcohol in my foot locker. And what was the deal with that knife inscribed with our initials like lovers carving their names on a tree?”
“So, it turns out I've never been subtle.” Lew said and then wondered if anyone else saw all that. Well, from the way Harry looked at Dick, dumbstruck when he had said ‘I have a present for you’, apparently someone had caught on to the fact he spent the entire war sending out signals he wanted to do more to his best friend than keep him alive and follow him everywhere he went. “Oh, God, I didn’t think I was that bad !”
“And we never thought we were getting out of here alive.” Dick said and ran his hand over Lew’s cheek, stubble rough against his hand. Kinda glad he didn’t shave, for once.
“Could have given me a hint, could have thrown me a line while you watched me drown over her in wine and fear .” Lew said and relaxed, feeling like the world was coming back together but not just because Dick was touching him, but because they had fallen back into their thing. No awkwardness, just them . Just the them he loved and couldn't think of living without.
“Could have,” Dick shrugged, “But you’ve always had everything handed to you so I thought I’d make you work for it.”
He tried to look hurt but ended up laughing when he saw that smirk, that subtle little smile, that Dick couldn’t repress to say ‘yeah I can make jokes’. Emotion he couldn’t hide, Mr. Stoic and upstanding officer, which always was around him. Subtle, but there, and just for him. He pulled him down to kiss him, hard, wanting. Time for talking was over. God he wanted him.
“Hey,” Dick said as they came up for air, “Can I at least get a little credit for passing out all Goring's wine so nobody but patrols are sober when we can finally…do this?”
“Don’t make it sound like this was all your idea.” Lew said. “Strategic genius you may be, but I worked hard for this. I’ve never been so scared of saying the wrong thing. I’d rather jump into another damned war than ask you to follow me home. Fuck, I already did both!”
“Turns out I’m going your way.” Dick said and fell into him, onto him to kiss him easier.
“You still let me struggle, asshole.”
“I needed you to sober up.”
“I stopped drinking because you asked, once.”
"You stopped hiding it in my foot locker, briefly, not exactly stopped drinking." Dick smiled. “Well, better figure out how far you want to get right now before everyone else stops drinking today.”
“Happy VE day.” Lew said and pushed him off the bed. “Get your damned clothes off.”
“Right to it, huh?” Dick smirked. “Where’s the romance?”
“This has been a long war and you have been…” He paused and admitted to them both, “What I wanted from the very first time I set eyes on you. And it only got worse as I found out how perfect you are.”
“Just a body to you, huh?”
“Says the guy who has been showing me his tits everyday during swimming exercises to advertise he wants to use his surprisingly skilled tongue on me.”
“Trying to show them to you right now but you just forgot you need to get naked too.”
He was right. Major Winters was always right. He started the battle with untying his boots and started rambling because there was never going to be another time when he would say this. He was confessing things to himself, while being honest to the man who knew him better than he knew himself. “It was more than attraction, it was presence. It was confidence. I wanted to know that guy who looked like he…knew everything. And you did. And we couldn’t have been more different and I knew there was more under the surface I wanted to crack. At some point it stopped being about finding someone to rely on to get me through this and became about not wanting to find out what the world was like without you in it. And this victory, the war being over, now means I might lose you in a way I never considered. We go home, we part ways. Home..is you.”
“I’m going to walk out of here and finish myself off if you don’t get undressed and back in bed.” Dick said and threw his uniform on his head.
“Oh, commanding. I’m into it.” Lew said and threw Dick’s uniform on the next bed, not on the floor because he genuinely respected every fiber of Richard Winters that there was. Especially the man who would let him confess that and not dwell on it, listen and understand him without making him think deeper than he wanted. He never questioned if Dick heard him, why he ever questioned if he saw the way he looked at him…well that was purely self-doubt. No, he was a cocky asshole, it was entirely guilt for bringing someone like him down to his level.
“ God , Nix.” Dick laughed and got into bed and waited, watched as Lew fought for his life to get his boots untied.
Laying on Dick’s chest after having the best sex of his life was probably the most content and comfortable he had ever been. Lew wasn’t one to cuddle, or hang around long. Hell, he’d barely stay awake long enough after rolling off his own wife to cover himself with a sheet, but he didn’t even consider closing his eyes right now. Every second mattered, he didn’t know if they’d get this chance again.
And it was a huge risk. That never left his mind. He just got fucked by his best friend and was putting both of them at risk even though he doubted anyone would care or say anything. Not in Easy, but it wouldn’t be easy ever again at home.
“You’re thinking, Lew. I can feel it.”
“Gears grinding?” He asked as he looked up at him and put his chin on his chest. “Like how I drive?”
“We always figure it out.”
“This isn’t...” Lew closed his eyes. “I obviously can’t hide how I look at you.”
“Well you apparently can ignore how I look at you.”
“This is selfish on my part. Look at me, I’m a mess. You have nothing but a bright future wherever you go and I’m going to dim that if I go with you. If you come back with me, I'm holding you back. God, I'm such a selfish asshole.”
“Shut up, Nix.” Dick pushed his head back down on his chest and kissed his head. “What the hell is Pork Roll? Was that some kind of New Jersey slang for sex?”
“You….don’t have that where you live?” Lew asked. “And no, it’s not slang. It’s real meat, or maybe not. I’m not sure what’s in it. It's delicious.”
“No.” Dick said and ran his hand over Lew’s back. “Haven’t had it before. Haven’t had this before either.”
“Oh, so clever.” Lew grinned, he knew he could feel his smile. “No, this isn't my first time. Yale really taught me a lot, so did being a spoiled boy who got to do whoever and whatever he wanted. Not your college experience?”
“Not in the least.” Dick said. “All the more reason to see the world with you, I missed out.”
“We really doing this?”
“We just did this, Nix.”
“We just did this in Hitler’s Eagle’s Nest.” Lew laughed.
“That was not lost on me.” Dick said and ruffled his hair. “Want to do it again?”
“Hell yes.”