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“Remind me again why we’re doing this?” Junmyeon asks in a soft, sleepy voice. He covers his face with the blanket as he yawns.
Yixing pulls the blanket off his face. “Because, you are stressed as fuck,” he says and bops Junmyeon’s nose with a finger. “And you need some fucking to de-stress.”
Junmyeon’s nostrils flare and he hides under the covers once again. “Whatever,” he replies. “Just lock the door when you leave.” He tries to turn around and face the wall instead of Yixing but the other man keeps his arms around him, making it impossible for him to face the other way.
“Mhm, yes, later,” he hears Yixing answer. Junmyeon sighs and pulls down the blanket, keeping half of his face hidden. He takes a good look at Yixing’s face.
Oh how he wants to trace Yixing’s features carefully with the tips of his fingers, just to make sure that Yixing is real and not just a figment of his overly active imagination.
On nights like this, a nagging thought always appears at the back of Junmyeon’s mind. Why are we doing this? Sometimes, he would ask it aloud, most times he'd keep it to himself.
But Yixing would always give him the answer. “This is nothing serious. We’re doing this cause we both need it. We’re just having fun and fooling around.” Junmyeon would just smile, as if satisfied by his answers.
But he never really is.
“You’re staring,” Yixing suddenly speaks.
Junmyeon quickly averts his gaze. “I’m not,” he whispers unconfidently. “I’m going to sleep. Lock the door, okay?” His words are not only meant for Yixing but for himself too, a constant reminder that Yixing is only here to warm the bed and not to stay.
Yixing just nods, his eyes still closed. Junmyeon smiles sadly before closing his own. The truth is, he never wants Yixing to leave.
Junmyeon had a good dream. In his dream, he woke up to find Yixing still sleeping soundly beside him, brows furrowed and mouth slightly open. In his dream, Junmyeon giggled at the sight of Yixing’s morning face. And in his dream, he kissed Yixing’s lips, something that they have never done even once.
Only it wasn’t a dream.
“I thought you left,” Junmyeon murmurs as he grabs the pan from the overhead cabinet and places it on the stove. He looks back at Yixing who’s at the table, stirring his coffee.
“You can’t blame me,” Yixing shrugs. “Your bed is a lot more comfortable than mine.”
Junmyeon shakes his head and starts cooking eggs, exactly as Yixing likes it in the morning, soft and creamy. “I like your bed better,” he answers, looking over his shoulder at Yixing with a sly smile on his face.
“Of course you do,” Yixing smirks and sips his coffee while looking directly at Junmyeon.
Junmyeon wonders, what would their friends say? When Baekhyun found out that they slept (note: slept, not sleeping) together, Yixing said it was a one-time thing. Yeah, a one-time thing every week for the past three months. Kyungsoo wasn’t mad, but he was disappointed, stating that this thing that happened (and, unbeknownst to them, is still happening) could be the reason for conflict within their friend group.
Junmyeon swore it wouldn’t happen again. But then, nothing in this world is ever sure, just that Yixing and Junmyeon are sure they’ll be able to keep themselves calm in the presence of others but they definitely couldn’t keep their hands off of each other when it’s just the two of them.
“It’s the weekend, can I stay a little longer?” Yixing asks as they clean up after eating.
Junmyeon blinks at him. Something must be up with Yixing, he’s never offered to stay longer, and whenever Junmyeon comes over to his place, he always has an excuse to send Junmyeon home after sex.
This is new.
“Did something happen?” he asks Yixing after drying his hands with a dishtowel.
“Nothing. Can’t I just hang out with you?”
And Junmyeon lets him. The whole day, Yixing just clung to him. They even went out to buy groceries together and Junmyeon hates it. He hates how domestic it looks, how he usually dislikes grocery shopping and yet, it feels like the loveliest activity to do because Yixing is with him.
Junmyeon hates cooking dinner for himself, but he realizes he hates it even more when Yixing cooks for him in his own home. He hates that Yixing considers everything, from his food preferences to his food allergies. He hates how Yixing jokingly feeds him, and he hates how he enjoys being fed by Yixing.
He hates how his heart flutters for every little thing Yixing does for him. He hates how he’s falling hard and he can’t do anything about it.
Maybe Kyungsoo was right. They should have stopped when they got caught.
Yixing closed his eyes but he never fell asleep.
Not when he felt Junmyeon’s lips against his.
His eyes flew open and saw how close Junmyeon’s face was to him. Junmyeon’s eyes were closed, he must be dreaming. And this is one hell of a waking experience for Yixing.
He froze in place, not moving, not even an inch, lest he wanted to wake Junmyeon up, who seems to be dreaming. But oh how badly he wanted to kiss Junmyeon back.
Whoever put up this stupid rule of them not kissing is an idiot (clue: it wasn’t Junmyeon). Said idiot is not fighting the biggest urge not to wake Junmyeon up just so they could kiss better when he’s awake.
“It’s better this way, all the more fun,” he winked when Junmyeon asked him about the no-kiss rule. “Besides, we’re friends. I don’t think friends should kiss each other.”
“But it’s okay to fuck ?!” a scandalous look flashed across Junmyeon’s face.
In Yixing’s defense, sex is a basic need. Kisses are part of love and belongingness, if they were to base their situation using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Fuck Psych Majors for always being able to find a way to justify things using theories.
Fuck Yixing cause he’s a Psych Major.
And fuck Junmyeon because he’s insanely attractive and stressed… and also a Psych Major.
Now the sex was supposed to be a one-time thing, with Junmyeon being stressed in juggling work and his ongoing master’s degree and Yixing being a good friend and offering a helping hand.
But they were just so greedy, wanting more every time they passed each other in the office, stealing glances from across the room, subtle touching of hands and shoulders, and playing footsies underneath the pantry table, and the growing sexual tension between them,without anyone noticing, made both of them excited.
They did it again.
And again.
And again.
Their trysts became a constant date on their schedules. Their bodies grow accustomed to each other. Yixing has memorized every mole in Junmyeon’s body, peppering each one with kisses, his lips touching almost every part of Junmyeon’s body except his lips.
“I can’t believed I fucked you twice this week and you’re still stressed,” Yixing grinned, his dimples peeking as he ran his fingers across Junmyeon’s naked back.
Junmyeon rolled his eyes and dropped his head on the pillow. “Shut it, it’s all Chanyeol’s fault.”
Excuses are futile when both of them knew they wanted it.
They avoided Kyungsoo’s gaze in the office, in the pretense that they weren’t doing anything behind their friends’ backs. They acted as if nothing was happening behind closed doors, when it was just the two of them.
A mistake , as Kyungsoo said, the two of them having sexual relations especially that they are working together. They denied the relations part, but the sexual part … they just managed to avoid talking about it.
Yixing thinks he might finally be suffering the consequences. At the back of his mind, he knows they have to stop. He knows they have to start playing it safe, now that he’s starting to feel differently whenever he’s with Junmyeon. A sign that he’s in danger.
Of falling.
Hard.
But everytime he sees Junmyeon underneath him, gasping and moaning, all hot and sweating, or Junmyeon, smiling and happy, or Junmyeon just being his cute little self, Yixing’s resolve to stay away from him vanishes.
Maybe Kyungsoo is right. But Yixing would willingly make the same mistakes over and over again.
Junmyeon follows Yixing to the door, their limited time together is over. Tomorrow, once they are back at the office, they are back to being just colleagues once again.
Yixing looks back and smiles at Junmyeon. “Call me again next weekend?”
Another mistake in the making.
“Sure.”