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PART 1
Alex wonders how it'd feel in his hand. Every time he hears the husky drawl George's voice sometimes takes, he has to excuse himself and head to the on-call room. He imagines what'd it'd feel like to smooth his fingers through George's silky Hobbit-like curls. But the day where Alex can't take it anymore eventually arrives.
He heads into the on-call room to try to catch some sleep, but the man plaguing his dreams is already there in one of the beds; George has an arm thrown over his face, the creamy skin glowing in the dim light. Alex's first reaction is anger; all he wanted was some sleep, but George already being there meant he wouldn't be getting any. The bed would smell like him, and that was the last thing Alex needed to add to his list of 'Stuff To Daydream About George'.
He isn't sure why, but he locks the door before walking over to the bed, and looms over his fellow intern's prone form before shaking his shoulder gently.
"Hey, Bambi," he says softly, but the only response Alex gets is a grunt from George as he turns over, burying his face in the pillow. He waits, listening for another sound, but George only goes back to snuffling quietly in his pillow.
"Great," Alex says, then shakes George's arm again. Nothing. Well, he wasn't going to let this stop him, he had surgeries to rest up for. Alex sat on the edge of the bed and shoved George over until he hit the wall, then laid down in the suddenly vacant space. The bed was still warm from George's body heat, but it was nothing compared to the furnace of warmth coming from George himself. Before he knew what he was doing, Alex shifted over until his arm was touching George's back.
He fell asleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Like many million times before, the insistent buzzing of his beeper brought George into wakefullness. He turned it off automatically, knowing it was only his alarm and he had about fifteen minutes left before he had to get up. Still groggy, it took him a few moments to realize something was weird. Blinking his eyes open, George stared at the wall until he realized he wasn't alone in bed anymore. Not only was he not alone, but he was being cuddled by a stranger. It'd been so long since he had sex that the feeling was almost nice, but the fact that he had no idea how he got here was disturbing.
Starting with the arm wrapped snug around his waist, George's eyes followed the expanse of tanned skin and blue scrubs until his eyes alit on the face of his cuddler. It was Alex!!
Oh my God, thought George, Alex is GAY?!
But it wasn't just Gay, was it? No, George had been blind until now, but now that he thought about it, he could remember the dozens of times Alex acted weird. He always had to go to the on-call room and never seemed to be able to keep up a conversation with George. At first he thought it was because the other doctor didn't like him, but now George knew the truth.
Alex was in love with him.
Gently, George shook Alex's arm, bracing himself for the surprise he knew Alex would show when he woke and saw George was awake, too. Alex woke slowly, but instead of the reaction George expected, he just looked at him, then finally said, softly, "Morning, Bambi."
"Uh, hi," George said, dumbfounded. How was Alex just okay with this and he was so nervous? The only reason he'd never thought about Alex That Way was because he didn't think he was Gay! But now it seemed his dream had finally come true! Of course he'd lied when everyone thought he was Gay, doctors needed to be straight and have wives. But sometimes, George thought he saw something in Alex's eyes, and it seemed he was right.
"So...you're not freaking out," Alex said, and George shook his head. "Cool."
Before his brain could register anything happening, Alex's lips were suddenly on his, and all George could do was lean back on the bed. He bit back a groan when his elbow banged into the wall.
"Oh shit, sorry," Alex said, and ducked his head to kiss George's elbow. "Better?" George nodded.
"We, um, we have ten minutes," George said, reaching between them to pull his beeper off his pants.
Alex nodded then kissed George again, but he brushed George's hands away when he tried tugging at his pants. "No way, dude. I'm not having our first time in the on-call room. You know how many syph kids had sex in this bed?"
"...you mean you?" George said sarcastically, and Alex ducked his head.
"Yeah, sorry about that," he said softly, and George found he couldn't do anything but forgive Alex. He couldn't say no to that face anymore.
And probably wouldn't for the rest of his life.
PART 2
Alex was just leaning in for another kiss when a raucous noise came from the other sound of the door. "Seriously? Seriously?!" yelled an all too distinctive female voice. In unison, Alex and George groaned, and this time, there was no pleasure in the sound. Through the sheer exhilaration that came with knowing his <3~f~e~e~l~i~n~g~s~<3 were reciprocated, Alex had entirely forgotten that he had locked the door when he came in; in fact, he still wasn't entirely sure why he had done it, since there was apparently going to be no sex in the syph bed. Just thinking about it made him feel ashamed all over again.
"Open the freaking door already!"
But here they were now, with a locked door and an angry Izzie on the other side of it. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" Alex called, reluctantly pulling himself away from George's soft, warm body, though not before pressing one more gentle kiss to the corner of the other man's mouth. He fumbled with the lock on the door for a moment, then flung it open, clearly exasperated as he looked over at Izzie. "What do you want?"
Izzie wasn't looking at him, though. Oh, no, Izzie's wide, brown eyes were fixed on the figure in the bed, the one of her best friend. Between the locked door, Alex's obvious frustration, and the way George was lying there all sprawled out, his mind clearly elsewhere when he said, "Hi, Iz!" it was all too obvious what was going on. She opened her mouth to speak, but found she couldn't; there was a lump in her throat, and her face fell, eyes glassy, brimming with tears.
"Seriously?" she asked, and this time her voice came out sounding small, very nearly heartbroken. Alex winced, his expression still one of utter annoyance. "Look, Iz -" he started, but she shook her head, crossing past him into the room and slamming the door before he could. This time, it was George's turn to flinch. He felt guilty, having never told Izzie that he was actually Gay, especially given how she'd tried to talk him through his crush on Meredith, but now, it seemed, the truth was coming out. He may not have realized it at the time, but that had just been the part of his brain that knew that being Gay was Wrong. Wanting Meredith was a way to disguise his true feelings, and how much he had actually wanted Alex, even then.
For a long time, the room was silent, the three of them staring at each other. Tears were streaming down Izzie's pale cheeks, but Alex had moved back to the bed, now sitting beside George on the edge of it, clasping his hand as if just doing so would prove how utterly serious he was about this. He didn't have the best track record and he knew it, and George and Izzie also knew it, but with George, he knew, he could be a better man. Now that he could admit to the way he felt, the way he had felt for a long time, things would be different.
It was Izzie who broke the silence, her quivering voice conveying just how crushed she really was. "So this is why," she said, pausing to draw in a deep breath, one hand on the wall behind her as if that alone were keeping her on her own two feet. "Why, when we, you know, you couldn't, you know..." With one hand, she gestured towards Alex, the slight motion enough to make very, very clear what she meant. Lips pressed tightly together, Alex nodded, and Izzie fought to hold back a sob. They had moved past that, she thought, but it explained so much. Of course Alex wouldn't have been able to achieve an erection when the real object of his affection was in the next room, and Olivia was plain enough that she could probably have passed for boyish. It didn't dull the pain of Alex now being with her best friend, the best friend she hadn't even known was Gay.
"Izzie, please -" George interrupted, unable to stand it any longer. Just because he hadn't been able to be honest with her before now didn't mean that he trusted her any less, and he didn't want her to be mad at him over what he couldn't help. Izzie was having none of it, though, and she shook her head.
"Don't, George," she said, somewhere between devastated and angry, though it was enough the latter that Alex stood up, looking undeniably pissed. Whatever may have been going on between him and Izzie before, he wasn't about to let her talk to George like that, and not because he knew George was her best friend. If she couldn't accept the truth, then she didn't deserve someone as good and kind and sweet and tender and loving as George in her life.
"And you don't get to talk to him that way," Alex ground out through clenched teeth, standing protectively in front of where George still sat on the bed.
Despite the fantastic view of Alex's ass -- he had never really gotten to admire it up close like that -- George swatted at Alex's knees, wanting to be able to see Izzie. He couldn't blame her for being hurt, even if Alex could. "Izzie," he said, a little more strongly, and this time she fell silent, defeated. Alex was hesitant to step away, but when it was clear that she wasn't going to put up a fight, he did, taking a seat next to George again, their shoulders pressed together. Just the sensation of that smooth skin against his was enough to send a chill down Alex's spine, and he shuddered a little, the effect visible. Izzie rolled her eyes.
George had to continue, though. Maybe he and Alex hadn't really talked about any of this, but there was an obvious next step to what they were doing. They had wanted each other for so long now, he didn't want to wait any more. "Kids, Izzie," he said, and both Izzie and Alex gaped, wide-eyed expressions mirroring each other's. "Someone's going to need to have our kids."
PART 3
"SERIOUSLY?!!?!?!!!???!!!!!!!" Izzie shrieked, stomping toward them, face flushed with righteous fury as she reached past George to grab a pillow and smack him with it. "SERIOUSLY?!! No, George, NO."
Flouncing off in a storm of indignation, she slammed the door behind her, leaving George and Alex in stunned silence. Alex turned back to George, his heart aching at the sight of George's puppy eyes growing ever wider and sadder. If they couldn't have children, what kind of future could they possibly have?
Alex wrapped his arms around George, holding him close and stroking his back comfortingly in a way that was also strangely erotic to George. If only this were not the syph bed, he could forget his sorrow and lose himself in the arms of his Gay lover! He burried his face against Alex's shoulder with a sob that broke Alex's heart into a million glass shards, stabbing at the inside of his chest.
They were so absorbed in their despair they did not hear the door open again. Izzie had not locked it behind her!
"Okay, seriously?" Meredith asked, staring astonishedly. "You are both Gay? For each other? Seriously?!"
"We're done fighting our love," George explained solemnly. He had hidden his heart from Alex for too long and now I just wanted to be with him forever.
"Now we just want to be alone together," Alex replied irritably. "Is that so freaking much to ask?"
Meredith shook her head. "No," she said softly. She understood about being separated from love and the soul-shattering pain of loneliness. Also the Gay explained a lot, like how Alex never slept with her. He had only been joking to protect the image of his Manhood but really he had never tried very hard because, unlike Olivia, she would have been too much woman for him. This was a satisfactory explanation. Besides it was very clear that he and George were Gay soulmates.
"We also want children," George said, stifling another sob against Alex's shoulder. "but Izzie won't have them for us. I think she hates us."
"She doesn't hate you," Meredith replied automatically. Who could ever really hate the sight of such true love? "She is just jealous. Are you guys serious?"
"As a code blue," Alex replied, blue eyes shining as he met her curious gaze. "On a baby." The idea of a baby undergoing some kind of cardiac distress put George through cardiac distress of a different kind. "Don't say that!" he cried. "What if our children have code blues?"
"We can't have children without a mother so it doesn't matter," said Alex bitterly. It hurt so badly. He had always wanted children, but he had never thought he could have them without indulging in a great big web of lies and deceit. "That is the curse of being Gay."
Meredith looked between them, deciding in an instant. "I'll be the mother," she said. "I always wanted to have kids, but I don't think I could raise them. But I could be their aunt who's really their mother. Seriously."
And George began to cry again, tears of joy reflecting the happiness blossoming inside his chest.
PART 4
"It's my baby too, Alex."
George had to have said this about a hundred times by now, several every day, but it never seemed to completely sink in. Meredith's pregnancy had been confirmed not too long before, and Alex's protective instincts seemed to be in overdrive, especially since the bomb not too long before. He had come so close to losing the mother of his precious, unborn child once, he said, and he wasn't going to risk it happening again. However, all surgeries were suddenly becoming too stressful situations for a pregnant woman to be in, even so early on, and Meredith was sure she would have been annoyed if she weren't beginning to find it so damn adorable.
Alex may have been gruff on the outside, but he was actually very sweet; it was kind of like eating a Tootsie Pop, where you had to go through the effort of eating the lollipop to get to the Tootsie Roll inside, except the lollipop part tasted good and Alex was often mean. That didn't matter now, though, because he was entirely soft, tasty chocolate candy, at least where George and Meredith were concerned. He just had different ways of showing it.
It didn't help that they didn't actually know whose baby it was. That had all been part of their plan; rather than having one father, they wanted their future son or daughter to have two, so the child had been conceived in a night of passion between the three people that Meredith counted herself truly lucky to have been a part of.
The choice hadn't been without consequences, of course. Many people were opposed to their decision and to the Gay love Alex and George shared, but she found it truly inspiring even if Derek almost never spoke to her anymore and Izzie had moved out in a fit of jealousy. Derek didn't understand but that was fine, because him choosing to work on his marriage was why she was still single to be their surrogate mother anyway. She was convinced Izzie would come around eventually, but George was less convinced and Alex said he didn't care.
"It's kind of my baby, too," she pointed out, hand resting on her burgeoning abdomen. "Two against one, Alex, I am capable of taking my own dog to the vet."
Alex grumbled unhappily, but Meredith and George found it endearing. They know he was just protecting their child. George laughed, and kissed him, and Meredith left the two of them to go to the vet with her dog. When the new plastic surgeon walked by, he watched Alex watching Sloan and felt a fear grip his heart. "Do you think he's cute?" he asked.
"What?" Alex made a face. "I mean, I guess, but I was just thinking -- dude, you think Shepherd thinks so?"
"Shepherd doesn't like men," George replied, shocked Alex could think that. "Shepherd doesn't even like Gay people." He frowned, sad that such a smart man could be so prejudiced against Gay people.
"Maybe it's self-loathing," Alex said solemnly. "I would know." No one but George knew that Alex had been a secret cutter before their love saved him. The memory of his teary confession still broke George's heart. "He glares at us more now that Sloan is here."
"We knocked up his ex-mistress," George pointed out, not caring that 'we' was a strange pronoun to be using in that sentence. "And Meredith is getting, you know, bigger." With one hand, he made a gesture as if to indicate a round, pregnant stomach, which he for obvious reasons did not have, as much as he sometimes wished he had the anatomy to bear Alex's children. But that was part of the curse of being a Gay man; no matter how much he wanted it, it could never be, and just thinking about that struck a pain into his soul.
Alex recognized this, and slid an arm protectively around his lover's shoulders, just in time for Shepherd to walk by and glare at them. Alex, of course, glared back, and George swooned, certain that Shepherd's glares would never match those of the man he loves so much. "Hey," Alex murmured, ducking his head a little to press a kiss near George's ear, not caring that they were still in the hall. "How could I think some douchebag plastic surgeon is cute when I am in love with a man like you?"
"Oh, Alex," George sighed, leaning his head against Alex's shoulder. A few nurses giggled, but he didn't care, he was just so happy to be in the arms of his beloved. "I don't care if its self-loathing or if he just hates Gay people. Your love is worth more than neuro surgeries."
Drawing in a deep breath, Alex's eyes filled with tears as he heard those beautiful words leave George's mouth. "Your love is worth more than any surgeries, Bambi," he said quietly, the nickname a term of endearment now that sent a thrill through George's body. He never thought being compared to a cartoon deer could feel so good. In fact, it felt so good that he decided to say so.
"I never thought being compared to a cartoon deer could feel so good," he said, and Alex smiled, the sort of smile he reserved just for his precious George, that said it was definitely a compliment. There were a lot of things, actually, that George could have said that about, but with Alex everything felt so good, even the things that he never thought would.
"Get used to it," Alex murmured, lifting a hand to cup George's jaw and bringing their mouths together. He was done hiding; done living in shame simply because he was Gay. It wasn't like they were a secret, anyway, and if plenty of straight couples could make out in the halls of the hospital everyday, so could they.
PART 5
"I just find it inspiring." Cristina said seriously, when they were eating lunch in the cafeteria one day late into Meredith's pregnancy. "You volunteering for them like this, the courage of their love. It's inspiring. I mean, if Alex and Bambi can make it, maybe Burke and I can work things out after all."
"Of course you can," Meredith agreed nodding. She really believed it was possible if Cristina only tried to open up a little. Maybe it was just the hormones or the idea of being a mother, but she felt happier now than she had in a long long time. She found herself inspiring. Derek did not agree, but the vet had and they had been dating since the first appointment months ago.
Alex smiled. "Pregnancy has really softened you," Alex said brightly. "You're all bright and shiny and optimistic now." He was too, even if he still worried about the stress of Meredith in surgery. It couldn't be good for their child, he was sure. He also was not sure he would be good for their child, but George held his hand late at night and told him it would all be okay and that he would be an amazing father and even if he did not believe it, he hoped it would be true. He had weeped at the sight of the sonogram and their tiny precious baby boy when Addison showed them this sight.
"I guess I was just made for motherhood" she said happily. Looking sadly across the room, she frowned. "I just wish Izzie didn't hate us now. She spends all her time making muffins."
Across the room where Meredith had looked, Izzie was sitting with a bright smile on her face and a whole tupperwear container of muffins in front of her, which she was giving to attendings and residents and even other interns as they walked by. She had plenty of muffins, there was enough to spare. Every so often, though, she would cast a mean glance in the direction of her former friends. George thought her glares might even rival his precious Alex's.
"Her muffins are so good, too," George said mournfully. Even though they had been baked probably last night, he could smell them all the way across the cafeteria, and he missed them not quite as much as he missed his best friend. Alex reached out and squeezed his hand, though, and he was reminded that even in losing Izzie, he had gained something even better.
"Oh, don't worry about her, you guys,' Cristina scoffed, happy that her friends were so happy but annoyed it had come back to this *again*. She, for one, was sick of hearing about stupid Izzie and her stupid muffins, so she looked at Meredith's round belly again and smiled. Her most recent memories of babies weren't so good, but Meredith had renewed her faith in the babymaking process. so much that sometimes she found herself wanting to have a baby of her own. "Let Izzie have her stupid muffins. Your love and your baby are worth so much more than that."
Alex, George, and the mother of their child all smiled. It seemed that the positive energy created by their devotion for each other was spreading even to Cristina, who was usually so negative. Alex was about to say something about this, having used to be a negative person also, when all at the same time their pagers went off in unison.
"Oh, no," Meredith said, frowning a little as she looked down at hers, already climbing to her feet with the assistance of George and Alex, one on either side of her. "It looks like it's something bad." Meanwhile, Izzie's pager had not gone off, causing her to direct even more mean glares at the future happy family and Cristina.
"Come on," Alex said, a hand at the small of Meredith's back. "We'll help you inside, let's see what this is."
"What took you fools so long?" Bailey demanded when they arrived at the doors to the emergency area where the ambulances pooled up. Secretly, though, even she was impressed by their happy family. George was going to be a good father, she knew because he had helped her when she gave birth.
"We came as fast we could," Christina complained, "with Mere waddling." Meredith stuck her tongue out at her, hand resting protectively on her belly. It wasn't her fault she was gigantic now. George happened to think that was adorable. He hoped the child would have Alex's good looks and Meredith's sense of humor but not cry as much as she did.
Bailey looked at Meredith, frowning. "You should be at home," she said insistently. "How many months are you now? You should be resting at home until that baby comes."
"It's not due for a few more weeks," Meredith said, shaking her head. "I'm fine." She was a surgeon after all and she was sure that her mother would not have left the O.R. just because she was eight and a half months pregnant and Meredith had come out okay.
"Isn't that against the rules?" Izzie asked angrily. Even though she hadn't been paged, she had followed everyone else. They were all on the same intern team and it wasn't fair if they got special treatment just because they were all happy and having each others' Gay threesome babies. Then she turned to Bailey and offered her a muffin. "Muffin?"
Bailey scowled. "No, I don't want your muffins, they're all full of rage, Stevens."
"Delicious rage," said George mournfully. Would she ever forgive him for taking away the man she loved?! Alex put his hand on George's shoulder, pulling him closer comfortingly.
Then the ambulance arrived! They brought in the patient who was in a car accident and hit a tree. He was badly hurt and they needed to take him to surgery right away because he might have had a concussion or a subdurral bleed in his brain as well as many other injuries like a broken arm. Meredith and Alex were chosen to scrub in on the surgery with Sheppard.
Derek glared at them both over his mask but Alex was more concerned with watching to make sure Meredith was okay. They were halfway through the surgery when his worst fear came true! "Oh no," Meredith cried, clutching her stomach and stepping away from the table.
"What is it? asked Shepherd, irritated that she was interrupting his surgery.
"Oh fucking hell no!" Alex announced as she headed around the table to Meredith's side, hoping that the baby would be alright after all this stress. This wasn't supposed to happen yet! The baby was not due for three more weeks! If anything happened to his precious son, he would not know how to live with the pain. "Someone page George and Dr Montgomery, she's in labor!!!"
The next few minutes seemed to take years, stretching on and on excruciatingly, but before too long, Meredith was in a delivery room with Addison and Bailey, who knew what she was going through after so recently having a baby herself, and Cristina, who was so inspired by Meredith's going into labor in the O.R. that she passed up the opportunity to scrub into the surgery to hold the hand of her best friend instead, leaving Izzie to gleefully finish the surgery. George also had wanted to be with the mother of his child, but Alex had found that he couldn't bring himself to cross through the doorway and George could not leave his beloved's side.
"I knew it," Alex muttered, pacing the hallway in front of the door, every so often glancing towards the small window but not actually looking inside. He didn't know if he could bare to see his child or Meredith in distress, finding himself suddenly regretting any comment he had ever made about babies having code blues. George's love had saved him once, but he did not know if he could survive the pain of losing his child now. "I knew this was going to be bad!"
Moving away quickly before George could touch him, he pounded his fist against the wall -- not the one of the room that Meredith was giving birth in, but the opposite one, because he didn't know if any sort of noise might worsen the birthing process. Only then did George, timid and wide-eyed, approach his lover, resting a hand on Alex's shoulder just as Alex rested his forhead against the wall. Not long ago, Alex had been bright and shiny as a diamond engagement ring that George would never get to wear because men didn't acceptably wear such things, even Gay men, and George missed that Alex. His heart filled with love, though, and sorrow also as his gaze settled on the man he so adored, silently draping his arm around him. There were many, many words in his head, but none of them would be suitable for a situation as heartwrenching as this.
"I can't -" Alex said, the words catching in his throat, and before he could say anything else, he began to sob, right there in the middle of the hallway. He pulled away from George's tender embrace just long enough to lean back against the wall and sink to the floor, and George was quick to join him, his own eyes filling with tears as he wrapped his arms around him, rocking him a little as they sat there. "I can't lose our baby," he managed, though it came out muffled against George's shoulder between sniffles, his cries so loud that a few nurses had come to see what the commotion was. None dared approach, though, not even Olivia.
For a long time they sat like that, neither saying much of anything and both offering a few comforting words when the other did speak. No one had any idea that anyone could cry that much, especially not two grown men. Those who were not jealous, though, would say that it was because their love made them more in tune with their emotions. It would not have been much reassurance to the pair, who had all but convinced themselves of the worst when suddenly a face appeared at the door, which then opened.
"Alex, George," Addison said, and unable to contain herself, a bright smile spread across her face. Alex and George, clutching each other tightly, stared as Addison lifted a little bundle of joy, wrapped in a pale blue blanket and crying just as his fathers had been not long before. "It's a boy!!!!!!!"