Work Text:
⚞⚝⚟
Pick me up in your arms
Carry me away from harm
You're never gonna put me down
I know you're just one good man
You'll tire before we see land
You're never gonna put me down
≼✧≽
Mu Qing had always hidden his emotions, locked them up in a series of little boxes. Little boxes which he put into jars, jars which he put into chests, chests which he locked in closets. But even all those layers of defence weren’t impenetrable. And during Mt. Tonglu, those defences he had spent so long building- they all came tumbling down.
But so much got better for Mu Qing once they came down. For one, his lifelong dream of being Xie Lian’s friend was fulfilled. But the bigger change was with his lifelong enemy, his nemesis, his sparring partner, his fellow general of the south, Feng Xin.
It was a few weeks after the events at Mt. Tonglu when Mu Qing and Feng Xin finally were forced to meet, forced to talk without Xie Lian there to mediate. Well he did trick them into meeting, so he wasn’t completely detached from their progress.
At that meeting, they had a heart-to-heart, a come-to-Jesus moment (whoever that is, wrong religious reference!). They talked about the past, and all of her misunderstandings and mishaps. They talked about the present, and how neither wanted to fight anymore. But the future, she still remained foggy, clouded by fear.
From that talk everything got better, the two gods could cooperate in the South, they could look at each other and not break out into a brawl, and they could talk to each other without screaming.
Those screams were replaced with laughter, and those fights were replaced with time spent together. They were friends , they got lunch together, they told each other the funny things from their days, they hoped for the other’s success, took joy in the other’s joys, and felt with the other in times of sadness.
But that is where it ended, friends . Mu Qing had opened up so much at Mt. Tonglu and even more after that day, but one chest had remained closed, one bottle screwed shut, and one box tied up with a bow. Truthfully he didn’t know that the box existed until recently, but once he noticed it, hiding in the back of the closet Mu Qing called a mind, it was all he could focus on.
Mu Qing wanted to open that box every day, he wanted to rip open that chest, smash open the bottle, and tear through the ribbon- but he couldn’t. Every time he would look upon that chest fear would overtake him,
‘Would he feel the same?’
‘Would he laugh?’
‘Would he leave me when he found out?’
‘Would I be left alone?’
So that box stayed hidden, stayed locked up, and it slowly killed Mu Qing, but he refused to risk the present for a future of maybes. He refused to risk all he had achieved in the hope of getting what he really wanted. He had gotten this far, and that was enough, or at least he made himself think it so.
‘Mu Qing, are you, um- busy?’ It was Feng Xin through the communication array, god that voice
‘No, not really. Why?’ Mu Qing shook off the thoughts of a future he couldn’t have and tried to take joy in the present,
‘I have something important to talk to you about, can we talk over dinner?’ Feng Xin spoke in a soft tone, unusual for the southeastern god,
‘Is it about the south? There has been an influx of ghost parades in the far west,’ Mu Qing replied,
‘It’s something like that, can we just talk over dinner?’
‘It’s barely past lunch, why don’t we just meet now instead of wait for dinner,’ Mu Qing asked, impatient to see Feng Xin,
‘I just want to do it over fucking dinner, okay?’ Feng Xin’s soft tone dissipated while he cursed, but instantly returned before he finished his sentence, some habits die hard, but some habits never die.
‘Oh, okay then-’ Mu Qing was completely and utterly fucking confused. ‘Want to meet at my palace then? I can have my juniors prepare some Hot and Sour soup, you used to like that right?’
‘No, it’s,’ he paused, ‘you remembered the soups I like?- Never mind, I already have a restaurant on the mortal plane in mind, can we meet there?’
‘Sure, I guess-’ Now Mu Qing was not only confused but also a little anxious, what was this serious that they needed to talk about it in person, and that Feng Xin planned ahead, that man never planned ahead in anything but war,
Before Mu Qing could finish his thought though, Feng Xin spoke out in a rushed tone, ‘Great- perfect! A deputy will bring over the location for you soon. I’ll um see you then!’
And with that, the southeastern god had left the array. A man so confident, so strong, was fumbling over his feet while talking to Mu Qing. ‘Something really bad must have happened then’ he thought to himself, and while it was true something had happened, it was nothing bad, nothing bad at all. Rather, it would be the greatest thing to happen to Mu Qing since meeting Feng Xin eight hundred years ago.
⚞⚝⚟
Now I've been running all my life
I ran away, I ran away from good
Yeah, I've been waiting all my life
You're not a day, you're not a day too soon
≼✧≽
Mu Qing headed to the restaurant Feng Xin had given him, it was in a kingdom of the central plains not too far from the former Xianle empire. Li Hua Lou - Plum Blossom Restaurant, it was called, and when Mu Qing arrived at it, it wasn’t the grand building he had expected. There were no pillars of gold, no lion statues guarding the door, and no red paint covering every surface. Rather it was a small, slightly run-down building, with a green shindle awning that hung a little too low.
It wasn’t that Mu Qing only ate in fancy establishments, but rather that Feng Xin only ever chose divine halls of glorious food for them to eat at, never such a small place like this. ‘Maybe he wanted privacy for the important matter to discuss, maybe it needs to be hidden from heaven,’ Mu Qing thought to himself as he walked inside.
As soon as he crossed the threshold he felt the warmth of the restaurant, the cozy atmosphere, the ambient chatter from patrons, and the soft glow on the wall sconces. It was truly a mesmerising feeling.
Mu Qinstantly spotted Feng Xin and walked over to him. They both came disguised as Fu Yao and Nan Feng respectively, two gods couldn’t just traipse around the mortal realm after all.
“Fu Yao,” Nan Feng called out when he saw the other, he had a soft smile on his face, but that smile served only to hide the anxiety bubbling within him.
“Nan Feng,” Fu Yao replied with a soft bow, before sitting down, “Why did you choose this restaurant? It’s different from your other choices,”
“Not that I am complaining though!” Fu Yao quickly added, “This place seems wonderful!”
“Ahh, it is a bit of a different choice,” Nan Feng looked around, unable to hold the other’s gaze, “This is the restaurant I've found to have cuisine closest to that of Xianle, it’s not the same of course, but it’s closer than anything else, and delicious in its own right.”
‘He really is cute when he cares…’ “I can’t wait to try it! Did they give you a menu already? Or is it on the wall somewhere?”
“Oh, I already ordered, I gave my best guess of what you would like,” Nan Feng’s eyes finally found Fu Yao’s, and for some reason that made Fu Yao blush like a schoolgirl,
“Were you waiting long? I planned to get here early in fact but maybe I lost track of time,” Fu Yao replied nervously, he hated being late, it was so rude, and he did not want to be rude to Feng Xin, not anymore.
“No, you weren’t late, I was just extra early. I just wanted to order for you, to surprise you,” A small but devilish grin began to form on Nan Feng’s mouth,
‘What did he call me here to talk about…’ Fu Yao thought to himself, but didn’t say anything about it, “I hope you ordered well then!”
There was a long awkward pause after that, with both of them constantly catching, then quickly dropping the other’s gaze. They really were children.
The awkward silence finally ended when an attendant from the restaurant came and placed a few dishes on their table, she didn’t say much beyond “Here you sirs are,” so Fu Yao was still relatively in the dark about what was before him,
The attendant had brought three dishes to their table, a mixture of fried vegetables, a large fish flayed out and grilled, and lastly a large bowl of pale orange soup.
Fu Yao was the first of the two to speak in quite a few minutes, saying thank you twice, both to the attendant and to Nan Feng,
“My pleasure,” Nan Feng replied with a smile, “Here, try the fish first, it’s pretty similar to the dish the Queen liked, Heaven's Favourite Bream (天最爱的鲂)(not a real dish) .”
Now that was a throwback, the last Queen of Xianle used to love Heaven’s Favourite Bream . It would grace the royal table at least once a week and was a feature at every event the royal family hosted.
Fu Yao cut off a portion of the fish and moved it to his plate, he hadn’t had this dish in years, centuries. When he tasted it, he knew it wasn’t the exact same, but by god was it similar. Mu Qing had missed this sweet sauce that coated the fish, but the version before him was slightly spicy unlike the original, a welcome change to the dish in his mind. This really was a taste of home, a home long gone.
“How did you find this?!” Fu Yao said, mouth still full. This was how Nan Feng knew the other was really excited. He had to be over the moon to commit an action so egregious in Mu Qing’s book of etiquette; speaking while you chew food.
“I came across it while dealing with some prayers in the area last century, and have been coming pretty regularly ever since. After we- reconciled, I wanted to wait to show it to you till we had a special occasion…”
“Ehm!” Fu Yao grunted with realization, but he finished chewing before he spoke this time, “Oh right, the business in the south, what was so important we had to have a meal to discuss it?” He took another big bite of fish just as he finished his question, Nan Feng definitely ordered well!
“Well, the um- business, isn’t really about the south…” Nan Feng replied bashfully,
“Oh, is it about a heavenly official then? Is that why we had to leave heaven? Is it about his highness?”
“No-” Nan Feng forced himself to return his eyes to Fu Yao, catching the other’s gaze before he continued, “I wanted to talk about us,”
‘Shit shit shit SHIT’
“Oh?” Fu Yao’s heart was now beating at an uncomfortable and unhealthy rate, “What um- about us?”
Nan Feng closed his eyes, took a deep breath in, and then returned his gaze to Fu Yao, “I’m very grateful to have gotten to be your friend after Mt. Tonglu, and I’m very grateful that we could overcome the centuries of misunderstandings we had,” This speech was clearly rehearsed, which both exacerbated Fu Yao’s anxiety, but also warmed his heart, “but I don’t want, and I don’t think you want us to be friends,”
Fu Yao opened his mouth, about to interject, ‘I’VE WANTED NOTHING MORE THAN US TO BE FRIENDS!’ but Nan Feng put a finger up asking for his patience, something Fu Yao gave against his better inclinations. Something about Nan Feng made it so hard to say no.
Nan Feng cleared his throat and started again, “But I don’t want, and I don’t think you want us to be friends, I think we both want something else, something more .”
With those two words, Nan Feng- no, this was too serious to hide behind disguises any longer.
With those two words, Feng Xin opened Mu Qing wide open. Feng Xin had the key to the closet, he had the strength to lift the lid of the chest, he had the grip to open the jar, he had the dexterity to untie the ribbon, and had the love to open the box. Feng Xin had broken through all of the barriers Mu Qing had set up to defend himself, but just like last time, when they came crashing down, nothing burned, rather something beautiful blossomed.
“What I want to say- what I’m trying to say-” Feng Xin was once again fumbling over his words, and it was all because of Mu Qing.
But Mu Qing finished for him, the floodgates of his emotions already carefully opened by Feng Xin, “I love you,”
⚞⚝⚟
I've been running all my life
I ran away, I ran away from good
Yeah I've been waiting all my life
You're not a day, you're not a day too soon
≼✧≽
Any traces of the anxiety Feng Xin once held dissipated at those three words, “Mu Qing-” Feng Xin had dropped their false identities, but Mu Qing couldn’t care at all. “You stole my thunder,”
Mu Qing smiled at Feng Xin before the two broke out into a quiet laugh,
Mu Qing spoke again, asking something of Feng Xin his seventeen-year-old self would have probably passed out at hearing, “Can you- can you say it too? Thunder always comes after lightning anyways,”
Feng Xin’s smile spread from ear to ear as he grabbed Mu Qing’s hands from across their table, “Mu Qing, I love you, and I have for a long time now, and I will for an even longer time yet,”
⚞⚝⚟
Oh honey I will stitch you
Darling I will fit you in my heart
Honey I will meet you
Darling I will keep you in my heart
≼✧≽