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For the first time in a long while, Felix felt alive.
The present weird feeling on his thighs and wrists and back and chin and arms and legs and... and... and everything... made him feel alive. For once not feeling numb, not feeling dead.
Felix can feel his arms, because he can feel the blood dripping off, trailing down his skin as a marvelous scarlet river being magically conducted through it's path would.
Felix can feel his thighs, because he can feel his nails pinching down the sensitive skin as it is ripped off, being followed by more of this now too familiar red liquid.
Felix can feel his chin, because he can feel the trembling it currently has due to the big impact caused by the encountering with the sink a few instants ago.
Felix can feel everything, because he can feel in his soul how weak he is and how he will never be deserving of his current life, though it is extremely far from a good one.
At least he feels alive, feeling all those stimuli show him how this is all true and he is in fact alive, how it is not all just a simulation. Except for the fact that he soon no longer feels all of this.
The blood falling off from his dangerously slim arms being too much for his weak body to handle.
The pain from the friction his nails are causing bringing becoming too much for a small body like his.
The impact in his chin causing some damage to his skull that makes him slowly start to get a even more blurry vision.
Everything just does not feel real once again, but this time it really is not. The situation may be real, but Felix no longer is. His history being all thrown in the trash accompanied by his friends's faith on him surviving.
Felix no longer can see.
Felix no longer can feel.
Felix no longer can breathe.
Felix no longer can live, because his life no longer exists.
Felix is now dead, the doctor points out using some lame medical terms, maintaining his professionalism though the room is filled with screams and sobs.
But Felix? He smiles, his corpse now smiles as his name is entered in the obituary. He has nothing to deal with anymore. He is free.
His life is gone, just like his passion for living had gone very long ago. He was not living anymore, he was holding on. Well, he no longer is.
His friends and family are devastated, but what can he do? He is not there to comfort them for his death, though he wished he was, people should not suffer because of him. Felix is probably happy now up there in the paradise if this even exists. He never believed though, but if there is a place like this, he surely is there.
Felix had a beautiful soul, someone everyone would pleasured to be around. His mission was completed, he brought happiness for people around him, even if he crushed it all later. Perhaps the fact that his death was so sudden for all of them will leave them with only good memories about him.
Felix was so sweet, he was so caring and loving. But he was too good for this world. Sometimes, loving is letting go, right?
Felix no longer feels.