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Despite the relatively short time they'd spent there, Souji had already gotten used to a few things: calling out his Persona when he was in danger, having to wear glasses to see through the fog, and the fact that the majority of Shadows turned into black mist when they were defeated. That last bit was one of the of the few consistent things about the world, and arguably the one he liked best - the sight of it meant there was one less thing trying to kill them. It was possible he'd actually gotten too used to it; trusting Yosuke to deliver the last hit on their most recent encounter, and the Shadow to die the way it was suppose to, he turned his attention away earlier than he should have, already trying to figure out which turn they should take at the next hallway intersection.
He wasn't expecting the Shadow to balloon up and explode in Yosuke's face, and judging by his startled yelp, neither was Yosuke.
"Yosuke's been hit!" Teddie wailed.
The sound of the explosion had temporarily stunned him, but Souji was moving to help as soon as he could. There was nothing to do, however; the Shadow was already giving its death shiver and melting away. "Are you alright?"
Yosuke stumbled back, wide-eyed and coughing, looking more surprised than hurt. His headphones hung lopsided around his neck, and dust fell thickly around him, the apparent remains of the attack. "I think so." He stuck his tongue out. "Ugh, actually, I think it got some of it in my mouth."
Before anyone could stop him, he bent over and spit.
"Is that really necessary?" Yukiko asked, fanning away the few specks that floated her way.
"Seriously, that's gross," Chie said.
Yosuke wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "Give me a break, I don't want this stuff inside of me."
At his side now, Souji looked him over carefully. "You don't feel anything weird, do you?" It seemed that every time they'd gotten used to what Shadows could do, they were hit by some new ailment. They'd suffered through poison, confusion, and fear so intense it became impossible to move. No one was anxious to see what else might be thrown at them.
Yosuke thought the question over as he patted himself down, though most of the dust or whatever it was had already dissolved. Souji reached out to flick a bit out of his hair and wrinkled his nose when it drifted his way. The way it tickled his throat, he could see why Yosuke had been coughing. "Nah, I'm feeling pretty normal. Nothing hurts anymore than usual and my head's alright."
That was reassuring but Souji still turned to Teddie. "Have you seen anything like this before?"
"Yeah," Yosuke said, giving him a dirty look, "because it would have been nice to get a warning."
Put on the spot, Teddie stared back at them with huge eyes. "I've never seen anything like it! But, Yosuke, you took it like a champ. I'm impressed!"
Chie sighed in visible relief. "I'm not. That wouldn't have happened if you'd just let Jiraiya take care of it instead of running up like that. What was that? Were you really spinning?"
Yosuke attempted, rather unsuccessfully, to hide his embarrassment behind a scowl. "Oh, like you've never tried anything new before. What about that time you missed that jump kick and fell on your ass?"
"A jump kick?" Yukiko asked, surprised. "When was this?"
"Before we rescued you." Reminded of her failure in front of Yukiko, Chie blushed hard. "Why do you have to bring that up? I've gotten loads better, and I don't look like a dork when I do it."
"Are you sure you're okay?" Souji interrupted before they could get too distracted. Annoyed at himself for being complacent, his voice came sharper than he intended. What had he been doing, letting his attention wander like that? It was true they had a couple of fights under their belt and they were getting better at it all the time, but when it came down to it they didn't know half of what Shadows were capable of. Letting his guard down like that was just stupid.
"I said yes, didn't I, partner? I'm fine." Yosuke frowned at him, wounded and maybe a little worried. "What, you don't think I could handle something like that?"
"Of course I do, that's why I left it to you," Souji assured him. He was beginning to pick up on a few of everyone's quirks as they spent time together, and one thing he'd realized was how personally Yosuke took things - any comment that could be taken as criticism of his abilities or a question about his value to the team got Yosuke's back up. It made directing him in battle more of a balancing act than Souji had originally anticipated, given that Yosuke had been the one to suggest he give the orders. "I'm just making sure. There's no use taking chances, right?"
Yosuke nodded, apparently pacified for the moment, but Souji noticed he was more eager than usual to do his part in the next few battles, as if determined to prove he could carry his weight. Souji was hard-pressed to make sure Izanagi landed the finishing blow on each Shadow, and although he tried not to be too obvious about it, he knew he wasn't as successful as he'd hoped. Yukiko and Chie stepped back as he slipped in ahead of them time and time again, confused but willing to go along with it, but Yosuke grew more frustrated with each stolen kill until he finally approached him after battle.
"I know what you're doing," he said, pulling his headphones off with one hand. The other fiddled with the collar of his school jacket, tugging on it like it chafed. "Stop it, okay? If that Shadow had been dangerous, we'd know it by know, and you said you trusted me to take care of it. You meant that, didn't you?"
Confronted so directly, Souji blushed. He supposed he could have been more subtle. "Of course I trust you, I'm just worried--"
"But you shouldn't be. We've got this."
"I know that, but I..." Yosuke's gaze didn't falter. Growing increasingly flustered under it, Souji finally nodded and, in an attempt to change the topic, asked, "What are you doing? Is your jacket too tight?"
"Huh?" Yosuke looked at his hand like he hadn't been aware of it. He shrugged and let it drop. "No, it's just hot in here."
"Is it?" The air was faintly oppressive, which Souji had come to realize was normal for the inside of the TV, but it didn't strike him as any warmer or cooler than usual.
Yosuke shrugged again and Souji let it drop. At least there was no more worry about who was doing what in battle; the rest of their way was clear enough for them to avoid any fights, and within a few minutes they'd arrived in the throne room where they'd confronted Yukiko's Shadow. Only now did Souji realize the closer they'd come to it, the quieter she'd gotten.
Seeing the tight lines around her eyes as she stared at the room, and remembering the terror he'd felt when Yosuke's Shadow appear, Souji suddenly doubted whether this had been a good idea. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"
"It'd be a waste to turn back after coming all this way," she said without looking away from the throne at the far end of the room. "Do you think it will actually work?"
"Maybe. It should," he said with more confidence. The whole thing was a long shot, true, but being unsure wouldn't help anyone. "You were disoriented the first time you were here, but coming back with a clear head might jog your memory and give us a clue about who put you in here."
Yukiko nodded, her expression becoming more determined. Still, she hesitated, turning slightly in a half-aborted movement that Souji didn't understand.
Chie, whose eyes had been on Yukiko since they'd opened the door, caught it as well. Yukiko had been turning in her direction. "Want me to come with you?" she asked.
"I can do this," Yukiko said. She gripped her fan tightly in one hand as if to remind herself it was there.
"I know that, but who says you have to do it alone? Aren't two heads better than one?"
Yukiko smiled. "Alright. Thank you."
Souji stepped back and out of the way, leaning against the wall near the door; the two of them clearly had things figured out and all he'd do was get in the way if he tried to help. Teddie didn't feel the same way, following behind them and sniffing every crack he came across as they slowly began to circle the room. Souji'd never had cause to doubt their courage, but it was slightly surprising to see the two of them doing this so willingly. He hadn't given much thought to it when he'd come with up with idea, but the castle was where they'd had the worst parts of themselves put on display for everyone to see and either had to accept the truth of it or die. Could he walk back into the twisted liquor shop if need be? For all that he hadn't confronted a Shadow, passing the road that led to it was enough to make his skin crawl, and Yosuke refused to even look in its direction.
Speaking of Yosuke...
Souji glanced over. Next to him, Yosuke had his eyes lowered, staring at nothing and frowning as he absently rubbed one arm. Souji wondered if returning here brought up memories of his own Shadow. "Are you alright?"
"Huh?" Yosuke blinked, coming back to himself.
"In general, I mean. About being here. Yukiko seems to be handling it pretty well, doesn't she?"
"I guess so." Yosuke tugged at his collar again, this time undoing a button, and then shoved his hands in his pockets with a grimace like he was annoyed with himself. He didn't say anything else, but he'd stopped zoning out. Souji checked on the girls. They'd wandered near the throne now and from the little he could hear - they'd lowered their voices - he thought they were talking about what had happened here, not just with Yukiko but with Chie as well. He wondered if they'd gotten together and talked about it while Yukiko was recovering. Souji would have like to talked about how they'd gained their Personas with Yosuke, but he was so touchy about his Shadow that Souji could never think of a way to bring it up.
A pull on his sleeve drew his attention back to Yosuke, who had dunked his head. "Hey, I, uh... Can I talk to you for a second?"
"Sure," Souji said, "what's up?"
"I'm not feeling so great." Yosuke's lowered head was only partly to hide his voice, Souji suspected. Admitting this seemed to embarrass him. "I think that Shadow did something to me after all."
Souji's heart jumped. He'd known that attack hadn't been normal. "What is it? We'll ask Teddie--"
"No," Yosuke said quickly, looking up. He was flushed and starting to sweat, and the sight of him like that increased Souji's worry. "I don't want the others to know about this."
"Yosuke, if you're sick--"
"Just trust me, okay?"
Trust wasn't the issue. It was just the more he got to know Yosuke, the more Souji discovered how stubborn he could be over ridiculous things. But something like this? He admitted to poison and confusion as quickly as the rest of them, if only to get it dealt with. What could make him want to keep it secret? Stomach troubles? Maybe the Shadow had made him nauseous and he was afraid of everyone seeing him throw up. Or what if it had more to do with his bladder? Chie had teased him pretty good about how much trouble it had given him the first time they'd fallen into the TV, and he doubted Yosuke wanted to go through that again.
Chie had noticed them huddled together. "Hey, what's up?"
"Yosuke isn't feeling well," Souji said. There was no use hiding it; anyone who came close enough would be able to see it. "The Sha--"
He stopped. Yosuke was staring at him, silently pleading that he keep quiet, and it was completely stupid to keep secrets from the others but...
"That is, I think we need to get him home," Souji finished dumbly, and although Yosuke was obviously relieved he hadn't said anything, he shook his head.
Voice still pitched for Souji's ears alone, he said, "I can't go home like this."
As if that were going to do anything but put horrible ideas about his condition into Souji's head. His palms were starting to go damp, his pulse picking up as he grew more anxious. With some effort, he kept his face blank.
"Yosuke's sick?" Teddie asked, pulling away from the crack in the wall he'd been inspecting. "Is it contagious?"
"Should I take a look at him?" Yukiko asked. Souji noticed she seemed more relaxed than when they'd first arrived. "Maybe my Persona can help."
"Can't you just tell them to go home?" Yosuke asked. He was starting to whine. "I want to be alone."
"We can't leave you by yourself."
"Leave you?" Chie repeated, and if they hadn't had her attention before they had it now. "Yosuke, don't be an idiot, you're starting to make me worry. What's wrong?"
Yosuke shifted his weight before grabbing Souji's shoulder and tugging him closer. Mouth so close to Souji's ear that were was no chance of being overhead, he whispered, "I'm excited."
Souji shook his head. What was that supposed to mean?
"I'm hard." He was so quiet Souji barely heard him, but when the words made sense he had to resist a sudden urge to look down and check for himself. "It's getting worse, and I can't do anything about it."
Oh. The Shadow had made Yosuke aroused. That was...weird. It was a little disturbing, too, there was no doubt about that, and probably uncomfortable, but Souji wasn't sure it deserved the level of secrecy Yosuke was giving it, not when Souji had seriously been starting to worry about him. He felt some of the tension leave him. "Is that all? You could go into the restroom at Junes--"
"No," Yosuke said firmly. "Dude, I work there. I'm not going to risk getting fired because of some stupid Shadow. And it's a public restroom, that's gross. I just need to lay down for a while or something, but I can't handle everyone staring at me in the meantime."
Souji sighed and straightened, rubbing the back of his neck. Yosuke went back to hiding his face, and despite the frustration Souji felt at him for making this into such a big deal, the more he thought on it the more he supposed he could understand. He wouldn't have liked to admit it either. Even telling him had probably taken a lot on Yosuke's part.
Finally, he said, "Let's go ahead and call it a day."
"What?" Chie asked. "Already? We've barely had a chance to look around."
"Yosuke's in no condition to wait around and... Are you remembering anything, Yukiko?"
"No," she said, sounding unhappy about it, "but that doesn't mean I won't if I give it more time."
"Then we can try again later," he said. "Right now, you two should head home and I'll keep him company until he gets over this."
"Why don't we all just wait together?"
It was a fair enough question, as much as Souji wished he could avoid answering it. "Because there's no reason for all of us to stay inside the TV longer than we have to."
"Wait," Chie said, "you're going to stay in here?"
"Just near the TVs." He couldn't think of anywhere else to go. If Yosuke refused to consider Junes and his house, the most reasonable places, then the entrance was the nearest and the safest. They'd never encountered a Shadow there, after all, only Teddie.
"Then we'll all stay," she said. Yukiko nodded, and Yosuke shook his head, all of them equally stubborn. Souji felt the beginnings of a headache coming on.
There was no way to make them all happy; he couldn't see how he was supposed to keep Yosuke's secret and give an excuse that would satisfy Chie and Yukiko. There wasn't one. Had the situation been reversed, there was no way he'd let them stay in here alone, but if he said anything Yosuke was going to hold it against him for who knew how long. Perhaps it was nothing more than selfishness, but Souji didn't want that to happen. He'd really started to like Yosuke.
"No, that won't work." Desperate for something that would work, he said, "I'm leader, aren't I, and right now, I need you two to leave. I'll watch him."
His statement caught all of them off-guard, and while Souji did his best to appear calm and in charge of the situation, even he could hardly believe he was trying this. Sure, it was technicality true - Yosuke had nominated him, Chie had agreed, and as quick as that it'd been decided - but he'd always been more of a leader in name than anything. Any decisions they made were passed as a team. Even the idea of coming here and having Yukiko look around wouldn't have gone through if Yosuke hadn't backed him up on it and Yukiko herself hadn't agreed.
Chie was the first to speak up. "That--that's not how that works!"
"Well then, how does it?" he asked, exasperated. He wished he'd never suggested coming here in the first place.
Apparently, he wasn't the only one having trouble coming up with answers today. Her face slowly started to go red and finally she threw up her hands. "Fine! If you two want to be that way and whisper with each other then I'll leave you here like you want. Yukiko?"
Her disappointment in him was clear. "You really aren't going to give us a straight answer."
"I already have," he said, and she narrowed her eyes, mind made up.
"You're right, Chie, I think I'm done here for today. Let's go."
The walk back to the entrance was painful to say the least. No one talked, and even Teddie's squeaky steps seemed subdued, as he looked back and forth between everyone nervously. Yosuke was preoccupied with his thoughts, and Souji found himself annoyed at his obliviousness to the trouble he was causing. He didn't know if that was fair, and honestly he didn't care at the moment. The longer the silence went on, the worse he felt about this whole thing.
He'd handled that conversation like an idiot.
"I promise I'll explain everything later," he said as Yukiko and Chie got ready to exit through the TVs.
"Really?" Yukiko asked, more distant with him than she'd been since he'd first met her. "Are you sure you'll want to then? After all, you don't seem the least bit interested in doing it now."
She left without giving him another glance, and Chie paused as she made to follow. "You know," she said, sounding more hurt than angry, "it wasn't easy for us to go back there. I get that you're the leader, and that's fine, but we're a team. It's not supposed to work like this."
"I'm sorry." He couldn't think of what else to say, and watched unhappily as she went through the TV. Was this what it meant to be in charge, having to make decisions that left half their team dissatisfied? He wasn't sure he liked it; it would be nice to become friends with everyone, to be more than just a group formed to solve the case, but maybe that wouldn't be possible until he figured how to balance things better.
Tired, he turned to Teddie.
"Do I have to leave too, Sensei?" he asked.
"Could you?" It wouldn't be fair to let Teddie stay after sending Yukiko and Chie away, and even if he tried he was sure Yosuke would object. "You don't have to go far, just give us some space, okay?"
Teddie's ears drooped. "Okay." He wondered down a catwalk and into the fog, as depressed as Souji had ever seen him, and Souji turned away guiltily. He'd apologize to everyone once this was over and do what he could to make sure it never happened again, but right now he needed to deal with Yosuke. He'd taken a seat against the railing that surrounded the platform, his arms crossed on top of his knees and his head down, and without asking it was clear there hadn't been any improvement in his condition.
"Everyone's gone," Souji said, as if Yosuke couldn't see that for himself. Maybe he couldn't with his eyes fixed on the floor like that.
"Great."
Souji stood by him awkwardly, unsure of what to do. "Do you want to take care of it?" he asked when it became apparent Yosuke wasn't going to say anything else.
"No."
"Are you sure? Because I'll turn around or walk away if--"
"I said no," Yosuke snapped, pulling his legs closer. "I'm not doing it."
"Don't get mad at me when I'm trying to help you," Souji shot back. Didn't Yosuke realize he'd made himself into the bad guy for his sake? "I just wondered if it wouldn't be easier on you if you did. I wouldn't care."
"It doesn't matter," Yosuke said miserably. "I don't want to mess with it. It's not normal."
"Fine. Can I sit next to you or do you want me to go somewhere else?"
"You can stay. I don't think I want to be alone right now," Yosuke admitted.
"Even though you said you did a minute ago?" Souji asked. Yosuke shrugged. Well, whatever. Yosuke's change of heart suited Souji just fine; he didn't like the idea of either of them being alone. Even if Yosuke had wanted him gone, he wouldn't have risked being out of sight.
Trying to be considerate, Souji put a careful amount of distance between them as he sat down. "Is this okay?"
"Yeah." Yosuke raised his head. His color had only gotten worse and he was clutching tight at his sleeves. "Hey, I'm going to lay down for a second. I'm not feeling so hot."
Souji felt useless watching him attempt to get comfortable. If they were anywhere else, he would have offered to get him a drink but as far as Souji knew there was no water in the TV, at least none that he would have risked drinking. "Why don't you take your jacket off?"
"Because then I'll be cold." Not satisfied with the ground as a pillow, though, Yosuke sat back up and fumbled at his buttons with uncooperative fingers, finally shrugging it off and placing it under his head. His back, Souji saw as he rolled over and revealed it, was dark with sweat, his T-shirt sticking to his skin, but that didn't stop him from shivering.
Frowning, he touched Yosuke's neck. "I thought you were hot."
"I am. But I'm cold, too."
Was he running a fever? For all that Teddie'd said he'd never seen anything like the attack that hit Yosuke, Souji still wished he'd asked him more about it when he'd had the chance. Being unable to take care of an erection could be painful, Souji knew that from experience, but Yosuke was acting like he was really sick. Wanting to do something, and with nothing else to offer, he removed his jacket and laid it over Yosuke. "Here, use mine."
Yosuke curled up so it covered him more completely. "Thanks," he said, and fell quiet.
The silence was unsettling. Souji was used to his friends moving and talking around him, and Teddie's steps squeaking close by. Even Shadows made noise, a low burble that meant one was lurking around the corner, and while he didn't want to encounter one of them now, the complete lack of noise only highlighted how strange this place was. He picked at a loose thread in his slacks to give himself something to do, wondering what Nanako was up to and if she was disappointed to find she'd come home to an empty house. Maybe he'd invite her to hang out with everyone the next time he got a chance. Chie and Yukiko couldn't stay mad at him with Nanako around, could they?
"Hey, partner?"
"Hmm?"
"Thanks for staying with me."
"Of course." Souji smiled. It was nice to be thanked. He might not have been doing much, but at least Yosuke thought he was doing it right.
"Because..." Yosuke laughed uneasily. "I'm kind of starting to freak out."
Souji's stomach dropped, as did his smile, and the anxiety he'd been managing to push aside began to reassert itself. It was bad enough that he was playing this by ear, but if Yosuke started to give into his worries, Souji wasn't sure he'd able to stop himself from doing the same, and where would that leave them?
His hands had gone damp. He wiped them on his pants and tried to keep any doubt out of his voice as he said, "Don't. You're going to be fine. I'm right here, so it's not like you're going through this alone, and I bet any minute now it'll wear off and you'll have a funny story to tell everyone."
It was weak reassurance, but Yosuke stirred and glanced at him hopefully over his shoulder. "Yeah?"
"Definitely," Souji said, meeting his eyes. "Chie's going to laugh at you for days."
"Yeah, okay." Yosuke nodded and turned away again, stretching out a leg. "You know, she was right. If I hadn't tried to kill that Shadow, this wouldn't have happened."
"Why didn't you use Jiraiya?" They were getting better at fighting Shadows up close when they had to, but it was always faster and safer to let their Personas do most of the work.
Yosuke mumbled his answer into his jacket. "I was trying to look cool. Thought you'd be impressed if I did it myself."
"I, um, wasn't watching," Souji said under his breath, and Yosuke groaned.
"Oh man, how lame."
"It's because I knew you could handle it," Souji said quickly. Yosuke shook his head, falling back into silence and leaving Souji to his thoughts.
What were Chie and Yukiko doing right now? Being inside the TV made his watch freak out and screwed up his sense of time so that he couldn't be sure how long they'd been here, but surely if they stayed for too long, they'd coming looking for them, argument or no argument. Even mad, he couldn't see Chie abandoning them; she'd gotten so worried when he and Yosuke had first come in by themselves, and only not being able to go through the screen on her own had kept her from following. In fact, he bet she was going to show up any minute now, her and Yukiko, ready to tell them just how stupid they were being. Then Teddie would hear them and come wandering back, and this mess would sort itself out.
He turned to ask Yosuke what he thought of the idea and stopped. Yosuke's eyes were closed and he was breathing hard through his nose, but more than that, he was moving, sneaker sliding against the floor with a barely audible squeak and the jacket laid over him rising and falling. It took Souji a moment to realize what he was seeing.
Yosuke was touching himself.
Souji's entire body went hot. What was he supposed to do? Pretend he hadn't noticed? Offer to move further away? Yosuke didn't seem aware of him watching but of course he knew he was there, and once he was through he'd have something to say if Souji sat next to him the whole time he did it.
He cleared his throat. "Um, Yosuke--"
"I'm sorry, partner," Yosuke said, voice strained, "I can't stand it anymore. If I don't do this, I'm gonna go crazy."
"It's fine, go ahead. I'll just wait over here, I guess." Souji put some space between them, but even with his back turned it was impossible to ignore the sounds Yosuke was making, quick and breathless. He wasn't trying to suppress them anymore, or maybe he couldn't, and either way, they made the tips of Souji's ears burn. He was glad he'd given Yosuke his jacket. Not only did it give him some privacy, but as he steadily grew warmer, Souji wasn't sure he'd be able to wear it comfortably now.
It shouldn't have taken long. When Souji was in the right mood, he could be done almost before he had time to really enjoy it, and Yosuke had been holding back for a good while now, but time dragged on and the sounds coming from Yosuke only became more frustrated. Souji started to look his way and then caught himself. Feeling foolish, he asked, "Is it working?"
"No," Yosuke said, and there was enough panic in his voice that Souji twisted back around to him, modesty forgotten. "Fuck, I don't want to do this, I don't want some Shadow controlling me, I can't handle this, partner, I just can't--"
"Yosuke, calm down."
"I can't," Yosuke repeated. "You don't get it. It's like--it's like it's not me, I don't want to do this, but that Shadow's making me. I tried not to but I don't have a choice, I've got to do what it wants me to."
Souji hadn't really realized exactly how much this was taking out of Yosuke until this moment. "No, you don't," he said, his pulse pounding loud in his ears. "I'll do it for you."
At first, he didn't think Yosuke'd heard him over his own panting and the mess that was going on in his head. But then his hand stilled and he opened his eyes, turning just enough to stare at him. He wet his lips. "Yeah?" he asked quietly. "I--I don't know."
"It's like I told the others, isn't it? I'm the leader, so I'll take care of it. This way, you're not giving in."
He didn't know if it was the right thing to say or if Yosuke was just so desperate for a solution that anything would have done, but Yosuke barely hesitated before giving an unsteady nod. "Okay."
He didn't look away as Souji came to kneel by his side and then faltered, unsure of how to go about this. It wouldn't do to treat Yosuke like a girl, and anyway, it wasn't like Souji had ever had anyone waiting on him like this before, completely and utterly desperate for relief. He reached out and placed a hand on Yosuke's cheek to judge his temperature, figuring it couldn't hurt and might even help to start off slowly, and Yosuke's eyes drifted close, his breathing evening out.
That was a good sign, wasn't it? Maybe they had this all wrong and instead of getting off, Yosuke just needed some physical contact. Souji could hold him until he calmed down or--but even before he could finish the thought, it became clear it wouldn't work. Yosuke, petting himself against Souji's hand, had gone back to touching himself under his jacket.
Flustered, Souji pulled away. It didn't mean anything, he knew; Yosuke wasn't thinking straight and would have reacted the same way to anyone, but telling himself that didn't help him calm down. Yosuke'd been touching himself because of him.
He tried to ignore the way his dick stirred in his pants.
Yosuke made a frustrated noise at the loss of contact and opened his eyes again, rolling onto his back. "What are you doing?"
"Sorry." Souji wasn't entirely sure what he was apologizing for, but it didn't matter. Slow wasn't the answer to this. Going slow would only draw it out, making Yosuke suffer and giving him time to think about things he shouldn't, so without another word, he reached under the jacket. He almost pulled away again, not expecting his hand to immediately knock against Yosuke's dick, hard and wet and already free of his pants, but Yosuke's hand kept him there, latching onto his wrist and urging him closer.
"Come on."
"Right, I'll..." He couldn't say it, and instead wrapped his fingers around him, embarrassed by how hot Yosuke was under his hand. He drew a shaky breath and started to move, attempting to get into the same rhythm he usually set for himself, but it was harder doing it for another person. The angle was wrong and without being able to feel anything himself, he could only guess at how much Yosuke liked it. Or he could ask, he realized abruptly, the possibility alone enough to close his throat up. He only managed by looking away. "How's that?"
"S'not good enough. Do it harder." Yosuke lifted his hips and nearly unbalanced Souji as he tried to pull him closer. "Be serious."
"I am," Souji argued, throwing out his free hand to steady himself. "I will, just...give me a second."
Yosuke didn't listen. Fingers hard Souji's wrist, he pushed so that Souji had no choice but to let his hand be guided down until he was touching Yosuke's balls, heavy and damp with sweat. Hesitantly, he rolled them between his fingers and watched as Yosuke closed his eyes and shuddered.
"Oh," Souji said, eyes widening. "There?"
"Yeah," Yosuke said breathlessly, "and then..." He dragged Souji's hand back up, all the way to the tip, and placed his fingers over his, fumbling until he got them where he wanted, Souji's finger pressing hard and insistently at his slit.
Souji swallowed. Not quite how he did it then.
He got the hang of it quickly enough after that, now that he'd been given some direction. Souji tended to find one spot and then work at it, knowing that would be enough to drive him over the edge. Yosuke, it turned out, liked attention, and he liked it everywhere, so Souji jerked him off in long, wide strokes, fingers wrapped tight around his dick so that he touched him as completely as possible, each pass slicker than the last. He hunched his shoulders but it was impossible to block out the sounds of appreciation Yosuke made when he lingered where he'd been shown to.
Souji couldn't figure out where to look. His hand, he thought at first, at least what he could see of it. That'd help him keep his rhythm. But there was something about the jacket rising and falling, about knowing what was happening underneath it and only being able to see their hands disappearing under it, that made it hard to breathe properly, and nowhere else was any better. Every inch of Yosuke seemed obscene, even his shoes as they dug into the floor, and Souji didn't dare to glance at his face.
In the end, he settled for staring at the floor and taking deep breathes to stave off his dizziness.
The small mercy was that it was over quick. Finally getting the stimulation he needed, it wasn't long before Yosuke was tensing up, the only warning Souji had before he was spending himself over his stomach, his dick pulsing hard and quick under Souji's hand.
The floor wasn't good enough anymore; Souji closed his eyes to keep them off of Yosuke's face.
He stayed like that, stiff and waiting, listening to Yosuke's pants fill the air and feeling him begin to relax, the harsh tension he'd been holding himself with gradually easing out of his body. He should move his hand, Souji thought belatedly, but while Yosuke's grip hand gone slack around him, it was still there, and when Souji flexed his fingers, Yosuke twitched slightly and made no move to release him.
His knees hurt. Souji rocked back onto his heels and made himself look at Yosuke's face, relieved to see that the bright, painful flush had lessened into a color approaching normal. Was it over? With his head clearing up a bit, he couldn't help but think that had been an awfully normal sort of orgasm. Not that he had been expecting anything in particular but... Shouldn't it have been bigger, gone on longer or been more painful, maybe, after putting Yosuke through all that discomfort? This didn't strike him as too dissimilar from his own climaxes. "How do you feel?"
Yosuke thought it over, his thumb sliding over Souji's wrist. Souji pretended not to notice. "Good."
"Better?" Souji asked hopefully.
"Better," Yosuke agreed, and caught Souji's eye. "Do it again."
Souji wasn't sure he'd heard him correctly. "What?"
Behind his glasses, Yosuke's eyes were glassy, his pupils dilated. Without breaking eye contact, he got one of his legs in between Souji's and pressed up, hard. Souji's breath caught in his throat. "Do it again."
"Yosuke--"
"Come on, partner," he said, a catch in his voice, "didn't you say you were gonna take care of me?"
Souji shivered and had to remind himself that Yosuke wasn't in his right mind. He couldn't take this kind of talk seriously. "I thought you said you felt better."
"I do," Yosuke said, "but I'm still..."
It was then Souji realized that despite how boneless the rest of his body was, Yosuke'd dick hadn't softened at all beneath his hand. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in a vain attempt to compose himself, but Yosuke moved his leg again and Souji's thoughts scattered, his fingers tightening involuntarily. "Okay," he said shakily, "okay, I'll do it, just stop moving."
This was fine; Yosuke just needed to get it all out of his system, and Souji'd already done it once, he could handle a second time. If anything, it'd go even faster because he was sensitive.
He told himself that, but he hadn't counted on Yosuke watching him.
Why would he? Yosuke hadn't before. He'd been too out of his head to focus on anything, staring off at nothing or clinching his eyes shut instead, but now he fixed his gaze on Souji, who squirmed, feeling it like a physical touch. It didn't help that Yosuke was actually touching him, the fingers on his wrist sliding up and down. That should have been easy to ignore, but Souji couldn't concentrate on anything else, his hand faltering, rhythm lost.
It got worse when Yosuke started talking.
He didn't say anything inventive or noteworthy, just repeated "Yeah," and "Right there," which made Souji even more embarrassed about how badly it was affecting him, but what was he supposed to do? Yosuke was staring at him while he said it, and his leg was still moving as he rocked up into Souji's hand, and this was awful, Souji wasn't going to be able to handle this at all.
"Shut up," he muttered, wiping his hand on Yosuke's side and feeling his stomach jump in response. His palm was too slippery, he couldn't get a good grip. "Yosuke, you have to be quiet."
Yosuke laughed breathlessly and crept his hand further up Souji's arm. Souji's hold went weak again as all his blood surged to his dick. He'd managed to ignore its throbbing up until now, but with Yosuke's leg where it was, doing what it was, that was proving impossible. If this kept up, he wasn't going to be able to stop himself from coming, whether he liked it or not, but... Would it be so bad if that happened? He was so close already that all he'd have to do was move back against Yosuke a little. He'd feel better, and he bet Yosuke wouldn't care. He might not even notice.
He might have done it if Yosuke hadn't been watching him. Had Yosuke been behaving like earlier, oblivious to everything but his own pleasure, Souji would have given in and made up an excuse about not being able to control himself to feel better about doing it. It would have been easy. But even as he slid his free hand down Yosuke's thigh to brace himself, he looked up and caught Yosuke's gaze and knew he couldn't go through with it. No matter how willing Yosuke looked now, Souji couldn't forget how panicked he'd been when he'd finally given into the urge to touch himself, convinced that he didn't have a choice.
So Souji moved his hand back up and focused all of his attention on getting this over with, swallowing his jealously as best he could when Yosuke came for the second time, slow and drawn out, like it was being pulled from somewhere deep inside him.
Exhausted and frustrated, sweat trickling down the back of his neck, Souji let him have his moment. Holding back was painful but he could wait. He'd go home after this, and then he could take all the time he wanted in the privacy of the bathroom or his own room. It'd be better than a quickie here, though watching Yosuke attempt to recover, that was hard to believe.
Yosuke took huge, deep breathes, his entire body shuddering. He was trying to say something, Souji realized, but out of breath as he was, he couldn't manage it.
"What?"
This time, Yosuke got it out. "Again."
"Yosuke, no." Souji couldn't do it. Yosuke couldn't do it, it wasn't physically possible. This wasn't going to stop, Souji thought. At this rate, Yosuke would keep trying and trying until he couldn't move from exhaustion. Souji needed to do something, to get away. That sounded good. He'd put some space between them and let Yosuke's head clear. But he was on edge and tired, not a good combination for moving quickly, and before he could do more than start to push himself away, Yosuke was reaching up and grabbing him by the hair.
"Come here." Yosuke dragged him down, mindless of how rough he was being, and then he was licking at Souji's mouth, pushing his tongue in when Souji gasped, and that was it: Souji gave up.
He kissed Yosuke back messily, unable to stop himself, only pausing to yank his glasses off when they knocked against Yosuke's. Yosuke was long and hot beneath him, holding him down with a hand to the back of his neck, and Souji'd been right about how much he liked to be touched. The more Souji put his hands on him, the more Yosuke vocalized his pleasure, and Souji wanted to--he wished he had more hands, or had thought to do this earlier, because it was amazing. Yosuke felt amazing, and he sounded amazing, and Souji tried to tell him that without breaking their kiss. The sentiment got through, if not the words; Yosuke managed to get out, "You too," and ran his hand down Souji's back to press him closer, their legs tangling, Yosuke's firmly between his. Souji rode it instinctively, giving no more thought to anything except how good the friction felt until, finally, he was coming in his pants.
Somehow, Yosuke managed it too, though dry, but this time, he sounded like it hurt.
Souji wasn't sure how long he laid with his head on Yosuke's shoulder, recovering. Too long, probably. Long enough that for him to notice Yosuke hadn't tried to suggest doing it again or said anything at all, actually. He'd made that weird sound, though. What if he was hurt? Pushing himself up on one arm, Souji took a good look at his face. Yosuke was breathing normally, but his brow was furrowed and his eyes closed. He cracked them open when Souji continued to stare at him but didn't return his gaze for long before sliding it away, and when Souji tugged at his arm, where Yosuke's fingers were still loose around his wrist, Yosuke let him go.
Ah, well then. Souji rolled off of him and, after a moment, sat up and wiped his hand on his sock. It didn't do much good.
Off to the side, something squeaked. Souji looked but he didn't have his glasses on - everything more than a foot away might not existed for all he could make out. He searched nearby and found them just in time to see a familiar red-and-blue form hurrying out of view.
"Shit," Yosuke said.
Souji wondered if he'd seen him too but when he turned back, Yosuke was still staring off to the side, apparently none the wiser. "Yeah," he said, and although he was pretty sure he already knew the answer, asked, "Are you okay?"
"I'm..." Yosuke faltered, unable to think of the word he wanted. "You can stay over there."
Souji nodded. "Alright." He occupied his attention by adjusting his pants in an effort to get more comfortable, wishing he'd thought to undo them before he'd lost control of himself. Cool, his come didn't feel quite as glorious as it had when he'd been caught up in the moment.
Nearby, Yosuke began to curse softly, an arm thrown over his face. Souji wondered if it made him feel better, and if letting out a few himself would do the same.
"If you're feeling up to it," he said at length, when Yosuke's muttering had tapered off and there was only a heavy silence between them, "we should get out of here."
"I know, just... Give me another second, will you? I'm tired."
Souji risked a glance at him. Yosuke was sprawled on the floor as if he had no intention of moving anytime soon. He felt a pang of guilt. "Sorry."
"It's not your fault," Yosuke mumbled.
"Still--"
"Partner," Yosuke said, putting a little more strength in his voice, "could we talk about this later?"
"Oh, okay. Sorry."
Souji kept his back turned and eventually Yosuke began to rustle around behind him, sitting up and trying to get himself in order by the sound of things. Something brushed against his neck and Souji jumped, turning to find Yosuke standing behind him, sheepish and rumpled, Souji's jacket in one hand, and his own wrinkle and buttoned all the way up once more. It hid the state of his T-shirt and the stains that were undoubtedly drying underneath it, but he hadn't done anything about his hair, and to Souji's eyes it seemed obvious that he'd just gotten off. Self-consciously, he wondered if he looked half as bad.
"Sorry about your jacket," Yosuke said, holding it out.
The mess that had been rubbed into the inside lining was just visible as Souji took it, and he gave a short, unsure laugh as he refolded it, slinging it over his arm and holding it low as he stood so it covered the wet spot on his pants. "Don't worry about it, I'll throw it in the washer or something."
He expected Yosuke to immediately head to the stack of TVs, but he stood there, staring at the floor and rubbing the back of his neck for so long that it began to get awkward. Souji nodded towards the exit. "Should I go first or--"
"No, wait." Yosuke couldn't seem to bring himself to look at him. "Look, I want to say thanks."
"Hmm?"
"For staying here," he clarified. "And, uh, helping me out with...you know."
Souji shifted his weight, acutely aware that he was going to have to toss his pants and underwear in the wash alongside his jacket. His cheeks heated. "I thought you didn't want to talk about it."
"I don't," Yosuke said quickly, "but I can say thanks, right? That's okay."
"That's okay," Souji agreed. He nearly replied that it was nothing, but Yosuke's expression and stance stopped him. He probably wouldn't take it very well, having his gratitude dismissed so lightly. "And you're welcome, but are you sure you're alright?"
He asked because Yosuke wavered on his feet, for all appearances not much stronger than he'd been laying on the ground.
"I need a shower," Yosuke said, "and I'm so tired I'll pass out the second I see my bed, but I can make it home."
Souji wrinkled his noise. "I didn't want to say anything, but since you brought it up, you smell."
That got Yosuke to crack a smile, which was what Souji had been aiming for. "Yeah, well, you might want to fix your hair," he said.
"Huh?" It was sticking up where Yosuke had grabbed at it earlier, and Souji smoothed it back into place. He wiped his mouth, too, suddenly remembering Yosuke's tongue sweeping over it and worried that some sign remained. "Thanks. Why don't you go ahead and leave first, I'll be right behind you."
He checked the area after Yosuke had gone through the TV, but there was nothing to see or hear. Teddie hadn't come back.
His phone went off the second he was back in Junes, startling him as it belatedly downloaded three texts. Two, he saw, were from Chie and the other from Yukiko, both of them telling him to contact them as soon as possible.
Yosuke was checking his phone as well. "You got 'em too, huh?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"Chie sounds pissed," Yosuke said, and Souji wouldn't have been surprised to find out Yosuke's text had been sharper than his own. "I guess I better call her and let her know we're okay. Or do you want to?"
As tempted Souji was to pass the responsibility onto someone else, Yosuke needed to go home and recover, not spend the next hour trying to explain what had happened without embarrassing both of them. And, as leader, Souji had promised. "I'll talk to them," he said, snapping his phone closed. It could wait until he got home, at least.
"Cool. But don't tell them everything, alright? I mean, it's not like they need to know."
Unless, of course, one of them got dusted later on down the line. "I'll be as vague as possible," was the best response Souji could give, but Yosuke nodded, trusting him.
"Great." The awkwardness between them returned. Yosuke gestured across the store. "I'm gonna go, uh, wash my hands."
"Right. I guess I'll head home then." If Yosuke wanted an excuse to put some space between them, Souji wasn't going to argue with him. "I'll call you later and we'll talk. I'll let you know what's up with the others, I mean, not about..."
"Sure." Yosuke nodded and managed to meet his eyes for a split second before breaking contact. Souji caught sight of the blush that was spreading across his face as Yosuke turned around and head towards the restroom, wobbling slightly but not slowing down. He'd make it home, but he'd bump into more than one thing along the way. Hopefully he didn't trip into a trashcan. Either way, it was out of Souji's hands now.
It was an uncomfortable walk home, and if he dragged his feet a bit, thinking of the phone calls he had to make, he didn't think anyone could blame him for it.