Chapter Text
The multicolored lights filled my senses with euphoria and excitement, as it did every time. The screams and cheers of the crowd only fueled the frenzy in my bloodstream. The beat of the drums pulsed in my chest and the stage in all the best ways.
Something just felt different tonight.
Like I had to go all out.
Maybe it was the fact that we sold out for the first time in months or maybe it was just the fact that my leg had finally healed.
About two months ago Darry thought it would be funny if he tripped me on my way down the stairs at a show. Obviously it wasn’t funny to me.
I broke my leg.
Correction, the dumb drum major broke it.
Either way I’m still pushing myself to the limit. Not for the fans,no. More so for myself. Besides, I deserve it.
They love us.
Mostly me but I'm going to be humble today. Obviously they like us, but sometimes the realization just hits me in the middle of something. My voice is blasting through the speakers and it’s amazing. It’s like I'm flying, but I'm not. I don’t have wings, it's a metaphor you idiot.
It seems like it’ll be smooth sailing tonight.
I can hear Aubrey’s acoustic and Mandy’s bass. bouncing off the walls and the crowd sings alongside me.
The rest of everything goes by in a blur of shouting, singing, autographing, and by the time my brain catches up with my body I'm in an Uber going to an after party.
I feel myself finally relax and my adrenaline runs out. I’m hit by the rawness of my throat and a heartbeat that made its way to my head and neck.
My feet hurt from standing all night. Despite what others say it feels good. It feels like the second you get something that you’ve been putting off done and it's lifted from your shoulders.
It’s like going straight from the hot tub to the pool, but it's not uncomfortable.
Just relieving.
I guarantee that the others feel the same. The car ride is bumpy and rough but it brings me back to life again.
I get out of the Uber and begin to stretch my back. I can hear it crack and it's an annoying sound. Another annoying sound that I'm hearing right now that I don't want to?
Darry’s voice.
I mean I know that we're good friends, but like, he's annoying ok?
It’s like a hate love deal.
“So how's the leg?” He chuckles.
I want to scream but I'm in a public space so I settle for a repressed groan.
“You knew, just knew, that something bad was going to happen!” My voice cracks and leaves me feeling vulnerable, I'm a part time singer so my voice should be in tip top shape.
He opens his dumb mouth to talk but before he can a strong hand hits the back of my head. It sends shocks throughout my mind and forces me to stumble forward and humiliate me.
I turn, ready to yell at my offender. I stop short and a smile cracks my face. A strong, tall figure is now in front of me.
“Still not over that leg bullshit huh?” Her voice rings out strong and clear and I wonder why she isn't the main singer, and how she still sounds sober with that half empty beer bottle that I can guarantee is not her first tonight.
Mandy is my best friend, or as the south park obsessed maniac she would say: my super best friend.
All I can do is grumble before she clicks her tongue and looks behind me at Darry and Audrey. I swear she must be at the very least 10 feet tall but she always tells me to drink milk and I might be taller than a sixth grader. She walks over to the two and stumbles once as the only indicator that she is definitely tipsy.
“Sooo… good show y'all?,” and with that she wraps an arm around Audrey and smiles.
Audrey responds with her usual soft voice, “yeah! I mean, we finally sold out right?”
She tucks her hair behind her ear and almost immediately removed it. Probably to hide the hearing aid. She isn’t exactly deaf, but she had to have a few surgeries to help her hearing. Never stopped her from singing or playing the guitar though. Got to give it to her, but she should be more confident.
Darry interrupts my train of thought by announcing something about going into the club, at least that's what I think he said I wasn't quite listening.
Mandy, being the absolute greatest extrovert she is, walked up first and flashed her id to the dude in front of the bar.
I haven't been to many bars before but the few times I have there has been great music. I can hear loud talking and music blasting from the inside. I wonder what type of music it is. I wonder if I could play it. Or if I could play live here, now that would be cool. I could backfire completely through, what if they don't like me? What if they- An elbow in the gut thrusts my head and back out to the street next to the bar.
“Dude” I hear a male voice, almost a whisper. I turn my head to see the man, Darry.
A look of confusion crosses my face as I see his own.
“Your Id?”
Crap.
I got so invested in my own little fantasy I forgot to show my id.
“Shoot...give me a sec….” I stick a hand in my front jean pocket and awkwardly pulled the small piece of plastic out in three fingers.
I flash a smile.
This is so unlike me! I don't get lost in my mind. I just brush it off and shove the id into my pocket as the man lets us in.
Darry and Audrey give me a weird look but Mandy has already found a bar stool and slipped into it. They don't mention it so I don't. I don't think I've ever gotten drunk, drunk, I mean sure, I've gotten tipsy before I was in highschool but never so drunk that I don't remember what happened the day before.
I sit next to the ginger and of course Darry sits on the other side of me. I almost grimace but I can hear Audrey yelling over the music which I've completely forgotten.
“I love this song!” I stop my thoughts and…Taylor Swift.
I shouldn't have expected anything else. Our Song blasts through the huge speakers, it's a Midwestern state and Audrey is a huge Swifty, what else could it be.
“Taylor Swift is honestly so mid.” Audrey’s head snaps to Darry ,who for the record has never not voiced his opinion.
He had a shot glass in his hand and was twirling it like a wine glass. He put it to his lips, tilted his head back all the way, and slammed the now completely empty small glass to the bar table.
Now with my eyes on the bar I realize that all four of us had shot glasses in front of us. Mandy must have had the same thought as me because her face lights up. She grabs it and does the same motion that Darry performed seconds before.
“She is not! She just has a lot of fans!” Audrey yells back, she pushes the glass towards the taller female.
I forget that she doesn't drink alcohol despite being a champion at Edward Fortyhands back in highschool.
I just look at the shot glass, almost unsure if I really should or not. Mandy took the second shot gratefully and seeing my best friend doing it pushed me to pull through.
I picked it up and put the cold glass to my lips. The stench of whisky fills my nose and I almost back down but in a moment of impulse I throw my head back.
It burns my throat but is still so smooth, it becomes silky the second it finishes going down, and I can taste a sliver of coconut in it.
Iknow that I'm lightweight but that has never stopped me from indulging.
Tonight, I vow, I won't hesitate to indulge.
Tonight will be about me.
But with every shot my mind becomes a stormy shipwreck.