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Sometimes, Yoongi couldn’t sleep.

Ever since he was a baby, he’d go through phases where he was physically unable to fall asleep until he touched the thing he needed to help. It could be anything – an object, a nice meal, a person, but it was always something he needed, wanted, or loved.

When he was a child, he stayed awake for three days straight until he was playing with his toy piano and passed out on top of it.

In high school, he made it to a week without sleep before his mom cooked him lamb skewers and he fell asleep face-down on his plate.

He’d never admit to anyone that the reason he was always so careful with their awards was because holding their Best New Artist award had him falling asleep in the green room after four days without sleep.

So when he found himself staring at the ceiling of his bedroom after being awake for 24 hours, Yoongi sighed.

He couldn’t do it, and lord was he trying. It was terrible timing for it to happen to him again, and he’d been trying all day with no luck. He wasn’t able to nap on the couch in his studio, not in the green room during a photoshoot, not even when he was literally lying in his bed.

He grumbled and turned over for what must have been the hundredth time that night.

“Yoongi-ah, are you okay?” whispered Seokjin from his bed across the room.

Yoongi sighed. “Just can’t fucking fall asleep, hyung.”

Seokjin hummed. “Is something on your mind?”

Yoongi thought about that for a second. Was it just normal sleeplessness? That would certainly be easier. He wasn’t unhappy, necessarily. He wasn’t stressed. He was no stranger to thoughts running through his mind so loudly that it felt like he could hardly breathe, but they had never kept him from sleeping before. Usually they just made him even more tired.

“I don’t think so,” Yoongi finally answered.

“Hyung will make you tea.”

It didn’t help, but Yoongi pretended it did. They had a busy day coming up, and he didn’t want to keep Seokjin up all night.

He stayed still, lying flat on his back and staring at the ceiling until the room gradually got lighter with the coming dawn.

It was an early day, and Yoongi’s second in a row without sleeping. They had a series of interviews lined up to talk about their new single, and Yoongi was dreading it.

The stylist gave him a sharp look when she started covering the dark circles under his eyes.

“You need to sleep, Yoongi-ssi,” she said. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you like this.”

Yoongi grimaced. “I know.”

He tried his best during the interviews. He was thankful that they were able to speak in Korean, because there was no way he’d be able to conjure up answers in English. He could barely even form coherent thoughts in his own language, and by the end of the day he was so frustrated with himself that he wanted to cry.

Which horrified him even more, because he hated crying in public. He didn’t like the attention it brought – if he was going to cry, he’d go up to his studio and do it.

The members had been shooting him concerned looks all day. He’d smile at them as best as he could – he didn’t want to make them worry. He’d never told them about his problem, and he was always able to figure out the trigger to sleeping without their help. This was his problem, not theirs.

Jimin tried to make eye contact with him multiple times throughout the day, but if there was one thing Yoongi had gotten very good at over the years, it was avoiding Jimin’s gaze. Jimin eventually settled on resting his hand on Yoongi’s thigh, giving it an encouraging squeeze every once in a while, which ended up making Yoongi’s brain short circuit.

Because he loved Jimin, and not in the way he loved the others. Had loved him since the beginning, basically. He loved the way Jimin moved, loved his perfect voice, loved the kind and thoughtful man he had bloomed into.

But again, that was his problem. The only one who knew was Namjoon, and that’s only because he caught Yoongi having a whole ass mental breakdown about it the year they debuted.

He told Namjoon everything that night – about his sexuality, about the pressure to hide that part of himself away, about Jimin.

Namjoon had hugged him and told him that he was ready to support Yoongi, however that might look in the future. He was there in the years that followed, Yoongi’s only confidant when things just seemed like too much.

He thought that Taehyung maybe had a clue – he was always far more perceptive than he let on. And if there was some situation where Yoongi and Jimin were partnered up, Taehyung was usually behind it. Just like earlier that morning, when he swapped seats with Jimin so that Yoongi and Jimin were next to each other.

And while Yoongi dreaded the easy touches that came so naturally from Jimin, he also craved them. He wanted Jimin to touch him so badly that he was afraid one day he’d actually ask for it.

When they were finally done with the interviews, Yoongi was wrung out. He trudged into the elevator and up to his studio. He barely made it through the door before he collapsed on the couch. He felt the prickle of tears at his lashline and sighed.

He was just fucking tired. His body felt like it weighed a million pounds and his head was fuzzy and all he wanted to do was sleep. It was a familiar feeling, and he hated it. As soon as he had the energy, he’d have to go on a hunt for the thing that would help him sleep – he hoped it was easier than winning an award this time.

He curled up in a ball as hot tears rolled down his cheeks.

He didn’t hear someone key in the code to his door, but a few minutes later there was a soft touch to his shoulder.

“Hyung?” said the intruder quietly, and oh fuck, Yoongi did not want this.

He pushed himself up and tried to wipe his face as discreetly as he could.

Jimin looked down at him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. He rarely saw Yoongi cry. Jimin was the one that Yoongi wanted to hide from the most, after all.

“Hyung, what’s wrong?” Jimin asked, reaching out to wipe a stray tear off of Yoongi’s cheek.

Yoongi’s cheeks flamed at the contact. His mind was blank.

Jimin kept his hand on Yoongi’s cheek, gently tilting his head up. Yoongi couldn’t avoid eye contact this time, and Jimin was looking down at him with his eyebrows furrowed and his perfect lips all pouty, and Yoongi wanted to melt.

“You look tired,” Jimin continued.

Yoongi blinked rapidly to keep his tears away. “I’m very tired.”

Jimin hummed and sat next to him on the couch. He gave Yoongi an encouraging smile.

“If you lie down, I’ll play with your hair,” Jimin offered.

And because Yoongi was weak, he put his head on Jimin’s thigh and curled his knees into his chest.

Jimin rubbed gently at Yoongi’s scalp as he hummed quietly. Yoongi was pretty sure that if he had slept at all in the last two days, he’d be panicking.

But instead, he fell asleep.

Yoongi wasn’t sure how long he slept, but when he woke up, Namjoon was speaking to Jimin in a hushed voice. He kept his eyes closed, hoping he might be able to fall asleep again.

“Did he tell you what was wrong?” asked Namjoon.

“Just that he’s tired,” answered Jimin quietly.

Namjoon hummed. “I’m worried about him. He thinks we don’t realize when this happens.”

Jimin ran his hand through Yoongi’s hair, and Yoongi shivered. “He’ll come to us if he needs us, hyung.”

“If you’re helping him, just… just keep doing whatever it is you’re doing,” said Namjoon.

“Will do,” said Jimin, and Yoongi could hear the smile in his voice.

The door to the studio opened and closed, and then Yoongi and Jimin were alone again.

Jimin tightened his hand in Yoongi’s hair for a second, and Yoongi’s eyes shot open as a lick of heat ran through his belly. “Eavesdropping, hyung?” asked Jimin sweetly.

Jimin was smiling down at Yoongi, and how many times that day was Yoongi going to feel like his heart was going to beat out of his chest?

He pushed himself up and rubbed his eyes.

“Sorry. How long did I sleep?”

“About an hour – you really must have been exhausted. As soon as you closed your eyes, you were out,” said Jimin.

Yoongi sighed. “I haven’t… I haven’t been sleeping well.” Or at all, but he wasn’t going to freak Jimin out with that one.

“I’m here if you need to talk, hyung. Or if you don’t want to talk and just want to sleep, I love a cuddle,” said Jimin.

“Thanks, Jimin-ah.”

Jimin stood and stretched, his back cracking several times. “I mean it, though. I want to help.”

Yoongi nodded, and with one last smile, Jimin left.

Yoongi groaned and collapsed back on the couch. In truth, he was feeling better after his nap. Not one hundred percent, but definitely better than he felt that morning. And if his past experience with this held true, he was cured. Once he found what he needed in the past, he was always able to continue sleeping normally for years. He had fallen asleep so easily with Jimin, and he was looking forward to getting home and finally falling asleep in his own bed.

He wasn’t cured.

As he curled up in bed later that night, awake far later than anyone else for the third night in a row, he started to panic. Why hadn’t it worked? What if this was his life now? What if falling asleep with Jimin was some weird fluke and he really was just going to stay awake until he physically couldn’t handle it anymore?

The sun came up and their schedule started and Yoongi was spiraling. His heart was racing all day, and the combination of extended sleep deprivation and the buzzing of his anxiety under his skin made him feel sick.

The members watched him carefully, but he shut them down when they approached. He was hanging on by a thread, and one probing question or concerned head pat would surely break him. He needed to put all his energy and focus into working and keeping himself together.

By the time they made it to the dorm that evening, Yoongi collapsed into bed and threw the covers over his head.

There had to be a reason this was happening. This would be his fourth day in a row with no sleep, barring that one hour with Jimin. It had never been like that before – once he found the thing that helped him finally fall asleep, he was able to go on sleeping normally for years afterwards without his condition flaring up again.

Maybe personal contact was the key this time. Maybe he needed to be with someone else in order to fall asleep, if it had happened so easily with Jimin.

After a few hours, he knew it was probably time to do an experiment. If it was just contact he needed, there was a dorm full of boys who would be delighted to help him. Even though it made Yoongi cringe a little bit, he was desperate.

He tried Seokjin first, padding across the room and taking a deep breath before lightly jostling his hyung.

“Yoongi-ah?” asked Seokjin, his voice thick with sleep.

“Can I sleep with you, hyung?” Yoongi asked, glad that it was dark in the room and Seokjin wouldn’t be able to see his expression.

“Of course,” said Seokjin, lifting the edge of the blanket and gesturing for Yoongi to join him.

Yoongi climbed in next to Seokjin and laid down facing him.

“Are you okay?” whispered Seokjin.

And Yoongi didn’t know how to answer that question. No, he was not okay. He was so tired. So, so tired. And panicked. But he didn’t want to burden his hyung.

“Just tired.”

Seokjin didn’t say anything. He just slipped his arm under Yoongi’s neck and pulled him closer. Yoongi rested his head on Seokjin’s chest and tried to sleep. If contact had helped him sleep earlier that day, then it would have to work now.

It didn’t work. Seokjin’s breath had eventually evened out as he fell back to sleep. But Yoongi was still wide awake, and the anxiety prickled under his skin.

So, maybe not Seokjin. But there were four others he could try with minimal damage to his psyche. And one last resort.

He went to Jungkook’s room next. The maknae was curled up in a little ball in the middle of his bed, and Yoongi wanted to coo at him a little bit before he remembered why he was there.

He took a deep breath and crept to the side of the bed.

“Jungkook-ah?” he whispered.

“Mmm?”

“Can I sleep with you?”

“Mmm,” Jungkook answered, and Yoongi figured that was the best he was going to get.

He slid under the blanket, and Jungkook felt around behind himself until he found Yoongi’s hand, pulling it over his waist.

Yoongi scooted closer and held him a little tighter. Jungkook always loved being the little spoon. Usually Taehyung or Namjoon would indulge him, but Yoongi was happy to do so then.

Jungkook snuggled back against him, sighing happily before his light snoring let Yoongi know he’d already fallen back to sleep.

And still, Yoongi was awake. He laid there with Jungkook for at least half an hour, partially because he did actually like to cuddle, and partially because he was afraid of running out of members before he had to climb into the bed he wanted to be in. Even though it’d be torture.

He gently pulled his arm from around Jungkook and went to the room Namjoon and Taehyung shared. He could hear Namjoon snoring through the door and once again marveled at Taehyung’s ability to sleep through it. Although Taehyung could sleep through anything, so maybe it wasn’t that surprising after all.

He collapsed in Namjoon’s bed next. Namjoon jerked awake and gasped.

“W-what?” he said, wiping a hand over his face.

“I can’t sleep.”

“Are you okay? Do you need me to call someone? Do you need the doctor?” asked Namjoon quickly, pushing himself up.

Yoongi grabbed his arm and pulled him back down.

“No, Namjoon-ah. Will you just lie with me for a little bit?” sighed Yoongi.

Namjoon blinked owlishly at him before turning on his side to face Yoongi.

“How long has it been?” he asked quietly.

“Outside of that nap you caught me having with Jimin in the studio? Four days.”

“Fuck, hyung. That’s so unhealthy. Are you sure you don’t want me to call the doctor?”

Yoongi nodded. “I’ll figure it out, Namjoon-ah. I was able to nap before. I just have to figure it out.”

Namjoon was silent for a few moments. Yoongi knew what he was going to say, so he braced himself.

“You were asleep when I found you with Jimin.”

Yoongi nodded.

“And you’re going to go to him last.”

Yoongi nodded again.

Namjoon hummed and opened his arms, and Yoongi scooted closer.

“I know you’re scared, but I think if you told him how you feel, you’d be surprised about what he says,” said Namjoon, curling his arms around Yoongi and holding him.

“Or it would blow up in my face and implode the whole group.”

“He loves you.”

“Not the same way I love him.”

Namjoon sighed and squeezed Yoongi tighter. “We will talk about this more when you’re not dangerously sleep deprived. Close your eyes, hyung.”

Yoongi nodded and closed his eyes.

Within minutes, Namjoon was snoring again.

Yoongi climbed into bed with Taehyung next. Taehyung didn’t even wake up properly. He turned over and held on to Yoongi, arms slipping under his neck and over his waist, a long leg draping itself over his hip. He pulled Yoongi close.

And he tried – Yoongi really, really tried to fall asleep like that. Normally he’d be out like a light. He liked being cuddled, and Taehyung knew that the best out of all of them.

But not that night. He was hot, and he was still awake, and he was pretty sure he was going to cry all over again because that meant there was only one more room to try.

He disentangled himself carefully from Taehyung and got up.

In the hallway, he looked at the door to Hoseok and Jimin’s room warily.

Hoseok, he would definitely be able to sleep in Hoseok’s bed. And then all the anxiety would be for nothing and he’d wake up in the morning cured and rested and cool and chill and fine.

He took a deep breath and pushed the door open. He closed it quietly behind him before heading straight for Hoseok’s bed. He climbed in and pulled the covers tight around himself.

“Y-Yoongi-hyung?” Hoseok said, his voice raspy with sleep.

“Hi. Go back to sleep,” Yoongi whispered.

“And miss this chance to cuddle with my most precious cuddly hyung? Absolutely not,” said Hoseok, taking the covers and throwing it over both of their heads. He scooted closer and took Yoongi’s hands in his own. “Okay, hyung. Spill.”

“I can’t sleep,” said Yoongi.

“That’s so weird, because I heard you took a nap in your studio the other day. Maybe you’re using the wrong pillow. Have you tried using Jimin’s thighs again? Those seem to do the trick.”

“Oh my god, please do not do this right now.”

“Jimin sleeps like a rock. We are definitely doing this right now,” said Hoseok. “Besides, we’re under the blanket. It’s soundproof.”

“It is not soundproof,” whispered Yoongi a little frantically.

“But the vibes, it gives off those soundproof vibes.”

Yoongi squeezed his eyes shut and sighed. “Hoseok-ah, I am very tired.”

Hoseok hummed and squeezed Yoongi’s hands between his own. “Do you like him, hyung?”

Yoongi felt his cheeks grow hot with a blush and stayed quiet.

“It’s okay if you do, you know,” Hoseok continued.

“Let’s sleep,” said Yoongi, closing his eyes for good measure.

“Hmm, okay. But if you ever want to talk about it, I’m here. We all are, hyung.” Hoseok gave his hands one more squeeze and then fell silent.

As he waited for Hoseok to fall asleep, and hoped for sleep to come for him too, Yoongi wondered how Hoseok knew he liked Jimin.

Was he that obvious? He had always tried to keep that part of himself secret, the part that was head-over-heels, write-a-hundred-love-songs in love with Jimin. But if Taehyung had figured it out, and if Hoseok had apparently guessed, too, was there something he was doing to give himself away?

And what if he did talk to the others about it? Wouldn’t that just mean that Jimin would eventually find out? That definitely couldn’t happen.

Hoseok’s grip on Yoongi’s hands loosened as he drifted to sleep, but Yoongi stayed next to him for a long time. His eyes started to sting and his heart started to pound when he realized he really did only have one choice left.

It was only one night… he could handle one night.

He carefully pulled his hands from Hoseok’s and slipped out from under the blankets. He turned and looked at Jimin’s bed. He was thankful it was dark enough that he couldn’t pick out the features on Jimin’s face, the only part of him visible from under the blanket.

He took a deep breath and stepped closer. He could do this.

When he was standing at the side of Jimin’s bed, he reached down and gave Jimin’s shoulder a light shake.

Jimin blinked awake and squinted up at him.

“Hyung?” Jimin whispered. He was confused, but he still lifted the blanket so Yoongi could crawl in next to him.

Yoongi didn’t say anything. If he spoke, he was pretty sure he’d break. He was so, so tired. And if he didn’t speak, didn’t acknowledge what was happening, then maybe he could pretend that it wasn’t Jimin’s bed he was climbing into.

He settled into bed next to Jimin, turning on his side and facing away from him.

Jimin hummed and slipped an arm around his waist, curling it up so his hand rested above Yoongi’s heart. Which only made it beat faster, and Yoongi prayed that Jimin couldn’t tell.

Jimin tightened his hold and pulled Yoongi closer, slotting in behind him so that they were pressed tightly together. And no, Yoongi changed his mind, he didn’t think he could do this after all.

“Sleep, hyung,” Jimin whispered, his breath tickling the back of Yoongi’s neck. He dropped a light kiss onto the nape of Yoongi’s neck, and Yoongi shivered.

And despite his pounding heart and the thoughts racing through his head about how he was being spooned by the love of his life, Yoongi fell asleep.

Yoongi woke up slowly the next morning.

He had slept, he realized. And thank god, because he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to go another day without it.

He blinked his eyes open and was confused when he saw the empty bed across from him.

This wasn’t his room.

And then he started to fully process what had happened the night before. He had really gone from bed to bed, cycling through each of his members until he was finally able to sleep in the arms of the one he wanted but couldn’t have.

Jimin’s hand was warm on his hip. It must have moved there while they slept. He was clutching Yoongi tightly, and Yoongi had to fight back a shiver at the contact.

He squirmed a little, trying to figure out the best way to sneak out and pretend that this had never happened, but then he felt it.

Jimin was hard, and he was cuddled so closely to Yoongi that his cock was nestled right up against Yoongi’s ass.

Yoongi squeezed his eyes shut and tried to control his breathing. It was natural, he told himself.

Jimin shifted behind him and tightened his grip on Yoongi’s hip for a second before he scooted away a little and stretched awake.

“Morning, hyung,” he sighed.

Yoongi took a deep breath and turned on his back to look up at Jimin.

Jimin was lying on his side next to Yoongi, his head propped up on his fist. He placed his other hand on Yoongi’s belly and gave it a light rub.

“Did you sleep okay?” he asked. His voice was deep and kind of scratchy with sleep, and his hand was still on Yoongi’s stomach, and he was shirtless, what the fuck? How had Yoongi missed that last night?

Yoongi nodded and tried to keep from looking down at the tent in Jimin’s boxers. Because of course Yoongi had the worst luck in the world, and of course Jimin went to sleep in his boxers.

He failed. His eyes flicked down to Jimin’s crotch before snapping back up to Jimin’s face.

Jimin followed his glance and Yoongi watched a pretty pink blush spread across Jimin’s cheeks, and the fact that it made him want to kiss Jimin also made him realize what a catastrophically bad idea this all was if he cared about his own feelings.

But he’d just had his first solid night’s sleep in over a week. And he was relieved and finally fucking rested, and if that meant that he’d have to take his feelings and bury them even deeper then so be it.

“Sorry, hyung,” he said, biting his lip and pulling the blanket over his legs. But he didn’t look embarrassed. He kept staring at Yoongi, his dark eyes piercing right through him and making heat curl in Yoongi’s stomach.

He needed to get out.

“Thank you for letting me sleep here,” Yoongi said, sitting up and trying to untangle himself from the sheets.

“Wait,” said Jimin, grabbing his wrist.

Yoongi took a deep breath and looked back at Jimin.

“I really am sorry,” Jimin said. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Jimin looked anxious then, and that made Yoongi feel kind of terrible. Because if Jimin knew all the things Yoongi thought about him, he’d be the one making Jimin uncomfortable.

“It’s okay, Jimin-ah. I’m okay.” Not true, but he wasn’t uncomfortable for the reason Jimin thought. “I’m just happy I got to sleep – thank you.”

“If you have trouble sleeping again, I’ll always cuddle you, hyung,” said Jimin, smiling earnestly.

Yoongi nodded and then he was up and out of the room. He barely heard Jimin calling for him before he was across the dorm and locking himself in his own room.

What the fuck was that about?

Okay yes, he was relieved that he had been able to sleep, and he was sure that now that he’d been able to do so twice, he was cured.

But Jimin didn’t seem that embarrassed at all when he caught Yoongi looking. And that threw him for a loop. But maybe it was a fluke. Maybe Jimin was just still not all the way awake.

He allowed himself a few minutes to have a meltdown in the shower before putting on a brave face.

He pushed his thoughts of Jimin aside for the time being. They had another busy day, learning choreography for a song on their new album, and Yoongi was so relieved to have gotten an almost full night of sleep. It was hard enough to try and push through those interviews — it would have been impossible to learn anything new.

When they all arrived at the practice room, Yoongi tried to keep himself focused on Hoseok. Hoseok was walking them through the steps patiently, and if he saw one of them messing up, he’d go over and gently correct their posture or show them how to do it again.

But at some point, much to Yoongi’s dismay, Jimin started to help him. And only him. He’d place those small hands of his on Yoongi’s hips or arms or waist and there was no way that Yoongi was going to learn anything like that.

He tried his best, though. He didn’t want to make Jimin feel like a bad teacher. Because he wasn’t — Jimin was the best. It was just Yoongi who was tragically fucked up.

At the end of rehearsal, they were all sweating. And Yoongi was exhausted again — one night of sleep, and not even a whole eight hours, had apparently not been enough to catch up.

He laid down on the cool floor of the practice room and closed his eyes, breathing heavily from the strain of working for so long. He heard the door to the room open and close as the members filed out one-by-one, going to shower and enjoy the free evening to themselves. He’d follow them eventually, but now he just wanted to rest.

He thought he was doing a pretty good job of it until someone poked him in the side.

He twitched away without opening his eyes. “Tae, stop. You know I’m ticklish.” Because only Taehyung would be brave enough to do so.

Jimin giggled, and Yoongi’s eyes shot open.

“Hi, hyung,” he said, grinning down at Yoongi from his spot perched next to him on the floor.

“Jimin-ah, you don’t have plans tonight?” asked Yoongi.

Jimin shook his head. “Nope. I was hoping you could help me.”

Yoongi sat up. This was more in his wheelhouse — he loved helping his members. And hated asking for help himself.

“Sure. What do you need?”

“Dancing,” answered Jimin seriously.

Yoongi raised an eyebrow. “You need me to help you with dancing?”

Jimin nodded.

And suddenly Yoongi felt like maybe he didn’t like helping so much after all.

“I’m not a dancer, Jimin-ah. I don’t know how you expect me to help you out here.”

Jimin smiled. “Can you just watch me? I got the choreography for my solo song on the album, and I want to know if you think I should change it in some way.”

“And you’re asking me. Not Hoseok.”

“Yep,” said Jimin.

Yoongi shrugged. “Okay, show me what you have.”

He got up and sat back down with his back against the mirrors. Jimin hooked his phone to the sound system and pressed play.

And then Yoongi realized what a fantastically horrible idea it had been to say yes to Jimin, because this song was a lot. He’d never seen Jimin dance to it before, but he was there when he recorded it in the studio, and even then Yoongi had to excuse himself from the room.

The choreography that Jimin broke into was stunning. A mix of his contemporary training and hip hop. Yoongi simultaneously loved and hated watching Jimin dance. Because on the one hand, he was perfect. Yoongi’s favorite dancer. The way he moved was like magic and his stage presence was unmatched.

But he wasn’t Yoongi’s. The dance moves that made him want to touch Jimin just made it harder to keep his cool. He’d had years of experience doing so, and that was the only thing that kept him from doing something dramatic, like prostrating himself on the floor and declaring his eternal, undying love.

When he finished, Jimin crossed the room and plopped down on the ground next to Yoongi. He was breathing hard, and his shirt was clinging to his chest slightly with sweat.

“So,” he breathed. “What did you think?”

“It was perfect, Jimin,” he answered honestly. “I don’t know why you thought I’d be able to help you with this. It was stunning.”

Jimin giggled. “You think that about everything I do.”

Yoongi nodded — Jimin wasn’t wrong on that one.

“Then why did you ask me to help you?”

Jimin shrugged and leaned over to put his head on Yoongi’s shoulder. “Guess I just wanted you to see it, hyung. Hey, want to come get food with me?”

At that point, Yoongi was just confused. Yes, they’d go and get dinner sometimes. But this was the most time he’d spent alone with Jimin in a long time. And it seemed a little bit cruel, but it wasn't like Jimin knew what a raging heart boner Yoongi had for him.

“Sure, Jimin-ah.”

They headed home and showered quickly before heading out to one of Jimin’s favorite ramen places.

Yoongi lost himself while they ate. Lost himself in Jimin’s stories, which made Yoongi smile and laugh and feel warm inside. Lost himself in Jimin’s smile that made his eyes crinkle up into little half moons. He missed Jimin, he realized. They seven of them had spent more time together than Yoongi had with anyone else in his life, technically speaking. But he missed being with Jimin like this – relaxed and happy and just genuinely pleased to be in each other’s company.

And even though Yoongi’s heart was aching and all he wanted to do was lean across the table and kiss Jimin right on his perfect lips, he thought that this was good. Being close to Jimin like this was good, even though it wasn’t exactly what his heart wanted most.

Yoongi didn’t sleep that night. When the sun started shining through the cracks in the blinds, he quietly got dressed and left the dorm. He was glad that at least he didn’t have anything scheduled with the other members that day, and he was going to spend most of it in his studio. They wouldn’t see the effects of his sleep deprivation again, and he’d hopefully be able to get some work done.

He lost himself in his work for hours. At least he was still able to write while he was sleep deprived, a skill he had honed out of necessity.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he heard the door to his studio open. He didn’t look away from the screen – he was right in the middle of something, and whoever it was could wait.

Long arms slid around his shoulders and Yoongi startled.

“You went on a date yesterday,” teased Taehyung as he squeezed Yoongi.

Yoongi blushed and shrugged Taehyung’s arms off. He pulled his headphones off and spun around in his chair as Taehyung plopped onto the couch and crossed his legs. Yoongi stayed quiet.

“Did you have fun? Jimin did. He was all ‘Yoongi-hyung said this, Yoongi-hyung said that’ all morning,” continued Taehyung.

“It wasn’t a date,” said Yoongi, rolling his eyes. “I go out to eat with you guys all the time.”

Taehyung tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. “Hmm, but you don’t, though. You never spend time with Jimin one-on-one.”

But that… that couldn’t be right, could it? Yes, he never went out of his way to spend alone time with Jimin, but it’s not like he could ever tell Jimin no if he asked.

“That’s not true,” said Yoongi, frowning.

“Yes it is. You made Jimin really happy yesterday, hyung. He loves you, you know.”

And Yoongi didn’t know how many times that week he’d have to think not the same way I love him, but his members kept reminding him. And he was so tired. Again.

“He thinks you hung the moon, hyung. You’re his favorite person.”

“You’re his favorite person,” countered Yoongi.

Taehyung smiled. “I have it on good authority that I am not.”

Yoongi really doubted that, but he didn’t have the energy to argue with Taehyung over it.

“Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you made Jimin’s day yesterday,” Taehyung said, pushing himself to his feet and heading towards the door. “Be nice to him, okay?”

Yoongi frowned. “I’m always nice to him.”

Taehyung shook his head. “Ignoring him is not being nice to him. I see you avoiding him, hyung. And I know you have these big giant feelings, but maybe instead of shutting him out, you could try opening up to him. I think you’d feel better in the long run.”

Taehyung left his studio without another word.

Yoongi was dreading going back into Jimin’s room. But he was desperate — he hadn’t slept in over 24 hours. Again. And Jimin said that it was fine with him, so Yoongi was just going to have to believe that he was telling the truth.

He slipped inside quietly and shut the door behind him. Hoseok was nowhere to be found — he was probably with Namjoon. And because Yoongi had the worst luck in the whole world, Jimin was awake. He was tucked into bed, the light from his phone screen the only light in the room.

“Hyung?” Jimin asked, pushing himself up and reaching to turn on the lamp on his bedside table.

Yoongi wanted to run. It seemed easier to slide into bed with Jimin when he was already asleep. But this? Having to face a fully-awake Jimin? Not ideal.

Even though they had bonded over dinner, it just hurt to be so close to him. The more time he spent alone with Jimin, the more he was reminded how much he loved him. He wished he could find the balance – dinner seemed fine, but sleeping in the same bed? That was pushing it for Yoongi.

“Do you need help?” asked Jimin.

“I can’t sleep,” said Yoongi.

Jimin hummed. “That seems to be kind of an ongoing theme for you lately. Any idea what the issue is?”

Yoongi shrugged. “Kind of. Not really. But I sleep when I’m with you.”

“Am I that boring?” laughed Jimin.

Abso-fucking-lutely not, Yoongi wanted to shout at him. Because Jimin wasn’t boring — he was funny and brilliant and kind and talented and, fuck, Yoongi just loved him with his whole heart.

But instead of saying any of that, Yoongi just shook his head.

“It’s because you like me best, right?” said Jimin with a smirk.

“You wish,” said Yoongi.

“No, I know,” countered Jimin. He flipped the covers back and patted the bed beside him. “Come on, then.”

Yoongi climbed into bed next to him, turning away just like he had before. And just like before, Jimin wound his arm around Yoongi’s waist and pulled him close.

“How long has it been this time?” asked Jimin. He was tracing little circles against Yoongi’s chest, and it was simultaneously the best and worst thing ever to happen to him.

“Like 24 hours,” answered Yoongi quietly.

“Hyung, why didn’t you come sooner if you knew you were having trouble sleeping? I don’t mind having you here, you know. I like cuddling, especially with my cute Yoongi-hyung.”

Yoongi didn’t want to answer him, because Jimin couldn’t know why it was so hard for Yoongi to seek him out.

“It’s okay to ask for help, you know,” Jimin continued.

Yoongi squeezed his eyes shut. “It’s hard for me to ask you for help, Jimin-ah.”

“Why?”

Yoongi curled a little smaller. “I don’t want to bother you.”

Jimin hooked his leg over Yoongi’s hip and forced him down onto his back – and then Yoongi was looking up at Jimin, and Jimin was frowning down at him, and Yoongi was going to throw up.

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this, hyung, but you’re not bothering me. I want to help you. I like cuddling you. You are not a burden to me,” said Jimin, resting his hand on Yoongi’s stomach.

“But-” started Yoongi.

“No. No buts. Say ‘okay, Jimin-ah.’”

Yoongi’s heart was beating so fast, and holy shit, was he getting hard?

“O-okay, Jimin-ah.”

Jimin smiled. “Good. Now can you please tell me what you need?”

Yoongi’s head was spinning. Jimin was so close and he actually wanted Yoongi there in his bed, wanted Yoongi to tell him what was wrong. “I think… I think I need you, Jimin-ah.”

Jimin hummed and started lightly rubbing Yoongi’s stomach. “Need me how, hyung?”

In all the ways, Yoongi thought. In every possible way there was to have Jimin, that’s how Yoongi needed him.

“I can’t sleep without you,” Yoongi whispered instead.

“Then sleep with me,” replied Jimin simply.

When Yoongi woke up the next morning, he was lying on Jimin’s chest, one leg thrown across his pelvis. And he was hard.

Neither of them mentioned it.

Every night for the next week, Yoongi would sneak into Jimin and Hoseok’s room a few hours after everyone had fallen asleep. He’d try to sneak out before Jimin woke up, but more often than not Jimin caught him.

He began avoiding Jimin during the day. He felt awkward and embarrassed. Like he’d somehow forced himself on Jimin. Jimin was just being nice. It didn’t mean the same thing to him as it did to Yoongi.

A week into their sleeping arrangement, Yoongi woke up to the realization that he’d been grinding against Jimin’s thigh while he slept. Jimin was just blinking awake, and he looked down at Yoongi with wide eyes.

Fuck, he knew. He felt it. And Yoongi felt like the worst person in the whole entire world.

“S-sorry,” Yoongi gasped, and then he was up and out of Jimin’s room in an instant. Air, he needed air and time to have a complete breakdown.

“Hyung!” Jimin called after him, but Yoongi ignored him.

He made a beeline for the balcony and pushed the door open, stepping outside and taking deep breaths of the cool, damp air outside in an attempt to stave off a panic attack. He sank to the ground and put his head in his hands.

The door opened behind him, and then Jimin’s hands were rubbing his back.

“I-I can’t sleep with you anymore. I’ll figure something else out, but I just can’t do it anymore, Jimin-ah. It’s hurting me,” said Yoongi, clenching his hands.

Jimin sat down in front of him and took one of Yoongi’s hands in his own.

“Can you tell me why I’m hurting you? I don’t want to hurt you, hyung,” he whispered, and it looked like he was about to cry, and fuck, that made Yoongi want to cry.

“It’s not you, Jimin-ah. Really, I promise. You’re not hurting me – you’re perfect. I mean it.” And Yoongi really kind of needed Jimin to take those words to heart because to Yoongi, Jimin was perfect. That wasn’t to say he didn’t have his flaws – everyone had flaws. But all of Jimin’s talents and his kindness and his flaws all came together to make him who he was, and that was the person that Yoongi loved most in the whole wide world.

“Then can you tell me why?” asked Jimin again, taking Yoongi’s other hand and squeezing them both tight.

Yoongi shook his head. He wasn’t going to ruin it. He wasn’t going to risk his friendship with Jimin over this, not when it was just his own stupid fucking crush.

“I think I might know why, hyung.”

“No, Jimin-ah. You don’t know,” whispered Yoongi. He felt sick – he was dizzy even thinking about telling Jimin what this actually meant for him. About how he felt, how he’d felt since day one.

Jimin leaned closer, pressing his forehead against Yoongi’s, and Yoongi was going to die. Jimin’s lips were so close. God, he’d dreamed of them for years and years. How many times had he thought about feeling them on his own?

“Do you like me, hyung?” asked Jimin.

Yoongi’s chest was tight, and it felt like his whole world was crumbling down around him. Like him? Yoongi was fucking head-over-heels in love with him. And how on earth did Jimin even know?

“Because I think I have to tell you a secret,” continued Jimin. “I like you a lot. I’m in love with you, Yoongi-hyung. I have been for a really, really long time.”

Yoongi scrambled to his feet, all the air rushing out of his lungs at once. Because that wasn’t true. In no universe was Park Jimin in love with Min Yoongi.

“No, you’re not,” breathed Yoongi.

Jimin pushed himself to his feet. “I am, though. Ask Taehyung. Ask Namjoon-hyung. I’ve been crying to them about it since I was like nineteen,” said Jimin, pouting his lips out a little bit.

Yoongi pulled his phone out of his pocket and scrolled to find Taehyung’s number with shaking hands.

“Hyung, I literally see you on the balcony right now. Why are you even calling me?” said Taehyung as soon as the call connected.

Yoongi put it on speaker and turned around. He could see Taehyung lounging on the couch watching them, a bowl of cereal in his lap.

“Tae, do I love Yoongi-hyung? As in, I want to date him and kiss him and–” asked Jimin.

“Yes! Ugh, hyung, Jimin is stupid in love with you and has been forever.”

“Thanks, Tae! Also what the fuck, stop watching us,” said Jimin before reaching out for Yoongi’s phone and ending the call.

Yoongi watched as Taehyung blew him a kiss and then left the living room before slowly turning back to Jimin.

“Do you believe me now?” asked Jimin.

And Yoongi still couldn’t find his words. The reality that Jimin would be in love with him too just didn’t make sense to him in the slightest.

“I know you’re scared,” said Jimin, taking a step closer and cupping Yoongi’s cheek. “I’m not scared though, hyung. I want this. I want you. And I know you probably don’t believe it yourself, but I know that we can make it work. I love you, hyung.”

Jimin was being brave. He was being so brave, and Yoongi was just standing there like an idiot. But Jimin loved him. Jimin loved him and he loved Jimin and what the fuck was he doing?

It was time for Yoongi to be brave too. Jimin was standing so close, and he was already cupping Yoongi’s cheek, so Yoongi leaned forward and kissed him. It was quick, just a peck, and Yoongi felt anticipation buzzing under his skin as he pulled away just slightly to see what Jimin would do.

Jimin was frozen for a second, just long enough for Yoongi to be afraid that he’d made a mistake. But then Jimin’s hand was sliding around the nape of Yoongi’s neck and his arm was winding around Yoongi’s waist.

And then Jimin was kissing him back.

Kissing Jimin felt like coming home. The tension he didn’t even realize he’d been carrying around inside himself for god knows how long finally seemed to uncoil, leaving him feeling weightless, like if it weren’t for Jimin’s arm around him, he might just float away.

Jimin’s lips were soft, even softer than Yoongi imagined all those times when it was late at night and he allowed himself to fantasize.

Jimin pulled back this time. Yoongi was distracted by the pretty blush on his cheeks until Jimin squeezed the nape of his neck lightly.

“Does this mean you love me too?” he whispered. And he actually looked unsure, which was a little mind boggling to Yoongi because of fucking course that’s what it meant.

“Yeah, Jimin-ah. Yeah, I love you too,” Yoongi breathed.

Jimin giggled, leaning forward to pepper tiny kisses all over Yoongi’s cheek and nose.

Yoongi squirmed, embarrassed at how fucking cute he thought it was and overwhelmed that somehow his life had lead him to this point at all.

“Go on a date with me. A real one this time. I’ll make you dinner tonight,” Jimin said.

Yoongi was a little dazed. It felt too good to be true – Jimin wanted him back. Wanted to take him on dates and kiss him. Loved him.

“Say ‘okay, Jimin-ah,’” said Jimin.

Yoongi smiled. “Okay, Jimin-ah.”

They had different schedules that day. Jimin wanted to work on his solo choreography more, and Yoongi needed to hole himself up in his studio and try to get work done when all he could think about was how radically different it felt to be himself that day compared to the one before.

He truly hadn’t noticed the toll that keeping a secret from one of his closest friends had taken on him over the years. How he was constantly on guard, straining under the weight of what he always assumed were unrequited feelings.

He thought back to all the times they were paired up together on Run BTS, and how carefully he tried to navigate being entertaining enough for the cameras but subtle enough not to spend the entire time just looking at Jimin. The push and pull of teasing between the two of them was hard to balance. Half the time he wanted to push Jimin even further, just to see how flustered he’d get, and the other half of the time he just wanted to kiss him. He’d leave set exhausted and always wound up avoiding Jimin a little extra in the days that followed.

He felt so much lighter, even compared to the day before. More free and a little bit invincible. He wondered if that made him kind of a sap, but he also figured that he was okay with that if it was because Jimin loved him back.

Namjoon found him that afternoon, sitting on the couch in his studio and staring into space.

“I heard something interesting from Taehyung this morning,” he said, sinking onto the couch next to Yoongi.

Yoongi nodded. “I did too, actually.”

“It sounds like you and Jimin finally talked.”

Yoongi sighed and collapsed against the back of the couch. “I’m a dumbass. Did everyone know?”

Namjoon hummed. “You guys weren’t exactly subtle.”

Yoongi laughed. “I know I wasn’t, but holy shit when Jimin told me he loved me, it blew my fucking mind. I still have trouble believing it and he literally said it to my face like ten times.”

Namjoon rolled his eyes. “Jimin wasn’t subtle either, but I think whenever he tried to show you, you’d just shut him out because you were scared of interpreting his actions the way he wanted you to.”

“I am a dumbass,” Yoongi repeated.

“I’m glad you guys seem to have worked it out, though. You both deserve to let yourselves love each other for real. And we’re all here for you, you know. Whatever you guys decide to do, however you want to handle your relationship, we have your back,” said Namjoon.

Yoongi swallowed as he processed the emotions those words sent through him. He loved his members, and he cherished the trust they had worked so hard to build between themselves through the years. They were his family.

“Thanks, Namjoon-ah,” said Yoongi, his voice a little rough.

Namjoon smiled and squeezed his shoulder. “I’m sorry for not telling you, hyung.”

Yoongi shook his head. “I get it. It wasn’t your secret to tell. You tried to get me to talk to him, and I was too scared to listen.”

“You got there in the end, though,” said Namjoon, pushing himself to his feet and heading for the door.

He paused before he left and turned back to Yoongi. “Are you sleeping okay again?”

Oh yeah. Caught up in the events of the day, Yoongi forgot that the entire reason any of it happened was because Yoongi had to sleep next to Jimin in order to sleep at all. He wondered if he should try sleeping by himself again soon, even though that idea was suddenly less appealing than ever.

“Yeah, I’m sleeping,” Yoongi answered.

“Good. Have fun on your date!”

Yoongi rolled his eyes as the door swung closed. Taehyung was a gossip.

Yoongi stopped by the practice room on his way out of the building. Jimin was waiting for him outside, leaning against the wall. He was still a little sweaty from rehearsal – his cheeks were red and his hair was sticking up from where he’d clearly been running his hands through it.

Jimin took a step towards Yoongi and ran his finger from Yoongi’s sternum down to the edge of his waistband. A thrill went down Yoongi’s spine at the touch.

“Hi, hyung,” Jimin said sweetly, like he hadn’t just casually melted Yoongi’s brain. “Ready to go?”

Yoongi nodded, and Jimin hooked his arm through Yoongi’s and pulled him to the garage.

In the back of the car, Yoongi felt kind of like he couldn’t breathe under the tension. Jimin was asking him questions about his day, telling him about his choreography, and if the driver happened to look back at them in the rearview mirror, it would look just as natural as ever. But that didn’t stop Jimin from resting his hand on Yoongi’s thigh and squeezing – it felt like a promise.

They both knew they had to be careful, that it would be too risky to try anything there.

Yoongi tilted his head back and swallowed in an effort to calm himself down. Jimin watched the movement and then leaned forward to whisper in Yoongi’s ear.

“Hyung, do you know what I’d do to you if we were alone right now?”

Yoongi squeezed his eyes shut. At some point along the way, he had forgotten that Jimin was a literal demon. He’d seen countless times how Jimin could switch from cute to sexy in the blink of an eye, but he’d never had that power turned on him before.

They pulled to a stop in the garage of the apartment building before Yoongi could guess what Jimin would do to him. Yoongi climbed out of the car as quickly as he could. He wanted Jimin so, so badly, and based on the speed Jimin walked from the car to the dorm, Yoongi’s hand clutched tightly in his own, Jimin wanted him too.

As soon as they were through the door, Jimin pressed Yoongi into the wall and kissed him so hard that his toes curled.

Yoongi gasped against Jimin’s lips and Jimin took the opportunity to lick into his mouth, sinful and hot.

Finally, finally, finally, Yoongi thought as he wrapped his arms around Jimin’s waist and pulled him closer. Jimin slotted one of his legs between Yoongi’s thighs and pressed him harder into the wall, and Yoongi was ready to drown in him – in the way Jimin seemed to tower over him like that, in the friction against his cock.

And maybe Jimin was feeling things just as much as Yoongi was, because he kissed Yoongi back as though he was just as desperate.

Yoongi wondered idly how Jimin managed to clear everyone out for a second, but then Jimin rolled his hips forward and all the rest of the thoughts flew right out of Yoongi’s head.

“W-where is everyone?” Yoongi asked when he could catch his breath. He was five seconds from dropping to his knees and sucking Jimin’s dick right in the entryway, and only the thought of another member walking in on them was stopping him.

“Gone,” answered Jimin, lips brushing against Yoongi’s throat in a way that sent a shiver down his spine.

“Fuck, Jimin,” Yoongi moaned, grinding down harder against his thigh.

“Are you hard for me?” teased Jimin.

“Y-yes,” Yoongi breathed, tilting his head back against the wall.

Jimin leaned in and gave him one last peck on the lips before he sank to his knees.

And that was it, Yoongi was one hundred percent certain that he was going to die, because Jimin was looking up at him with a little smirk, and his hands were squeezing Yoongi’s thighs again, and there was just no way on this earth that Yoongi was going to survive.

Jimin leaned forward and kissed Yoongi’s cock through his jeans.

“Can I suck you off, hyung?” he asked.

“Yes, what the fuck?” said Yoongi breathlessly as he tried to reconcile that it was only earlier that day that he was running away from Jimin, and now Jimin wanted to suck his dick, and wasn’t that just the best thing in the world?

While Yoongi was questioning every moment of his life that led him to that moment, Jimin pulled Yoongi’s pants and boxers down around his thighs.

He smirked up at Yoongi, maintaining eye contact with him as he licked Yoongi’s cock from the base to the tip.

“Make sure to pull my hair, hyung,” said Jimin, his lips brushing against the head of Yoongi’s cock before he sucked the tip into his mouth.

Yoongi loved how Jimin looked like this. He’d thought about Jimin’s lips all the time, and they looked absolutely sinful wrapped around the head of his cock. He reached out and traced the edge of Jimin’s lips where they were wrapped around him.

“Pretty,” Yoongi hummed.

Jimin moaned around him and Yoongi smiled. Jimin might be a demon, but Yoongi knew how to push his buttons too.

“You like hearing how pretty you look, Jimin-ah? How good you look with my cock in your mouth?”

Jimin squeezed his eyes shut and pressed forward, taking Yoongi’s cock fully into his throat before blinking up at Yoongi with teary eyes.

And fuck, Jimin really did look perfect like that, his cheeks all red and little tears around his lash line.

Yoongi laced his fingers through the longer hair at the nape of Jimin’s neck and pulled just enough to hurt. The moan Jimin let out around his cock had Yoongi weak in the knees.

Jimin put his hands on Yoongi’s hips and pushed him backwards, pinning him against the wall before taking Yoongi back into his mouth. He seemed to already know exactly how Yoongi liked it – his tongue pressed into all the spots that made Yoongi see stars, and it was wet and filthy, and Yoongi was gone, gone, gone.

Jimin kept one hand on Yoongi’s hip, pressing him into the wall. He wrapped the other one around the base of Yoongi’s cock and moved it at the same pace he took Yoongi into his mouth. Yoongi moaned again and tightened his grip on Jimin’s hair.

“F-fuck, you feel so good. Fucking made for this, weren’t you, Jimin-ah,” Yoongi said. He was so, so close.

Jimin pulled off Yoongi's cock and stuck his tongue out. He tilted his head back and looked up at Yoongi, his lips shiny and cheeks red, his hair all fluffed out from where Yoongi was pulling on it. Yoongi thought he was probably the most beautiful man on earth.

Jimin jerked him off quickly, the head of Yoongi’s cock resting on his tongue. “Come in my mouth, hyung.”

Yoongi’s orgasm hit him hard. He struggled not to close his eyes at the force of it, not wanting to miss the way Jimin looked with his head tilted back and his eyes closed, Yoongi’s release on his tongue, across those perfect lips. He could feel his legs shaking, and when Jimin opened his eyes and licked his lips, Yoongi sank to the floor, legs spread wide.

Jimin crawled into his lap and kissed him desperately, and Yoongi shivered at the taste of himself in Jimin’s mouth.

Yoongi reached down and pressed his hand against the bulge in Jimin’s sweatpants.

“Fuck, hyung,” said Jimin, lifting himself up of Yoongi’s lap just enough to pull his pants around his thighs.

Jimin’s cock was pretty and perfect, just like the rest of him. When Yoongi wrapped his hand around it, Jimin collapsed forward into him and started kissing up the side of his neck.

“I’m close,” he whispered, bucking his hips up into Yoongi’s grasp.

Yoongi watched, a little bit dazed, as Jimin sat back on his thighs and tilted his head back. Yoongi reached forward, snaking his hand under Jimin’s shirt and pushing it up, feeling the way Jimin’s body moved as he thrust into Yoongi’s other hand.

“God, you’re gorgeous,” Yoongi breathed.

Jimin tensed up and his hips jerked forward once more before he was coming in Yoongi’s hand with a moan. Yoongi worked him through it until Jimin pitched forward and rested his forehead against Yoongi’s shoulder.

“Fuck,” Jimin breathed, melting against Yoongi. “Who are you? And where did you even learn to talk like that?”

Yoongi laughed and wrapped his arms around Jimin’s waist, pulling him closer. “Okay, but you started it. ‘Hyung, do you know what I’d do to you if we were alone?’ Trying to kill me in front of our driver.”

Jimin giggled and stood, pulling his sweatpants up and reaching for Yoongi’s hand to help him up.

Yoongi held out the one still covered in Jimin’s come.

“Oh my god,” said Jimin, rolling his eyes before wiping it off with his own shirt.

Yoongi smiled up at him and stood.

“I’m going to shower and then I’m going to cook you dinner. You’re going to be so wooed, Yoongi-hyung, you won’t even be able to believe it,” said Jimin. He dropped a quick peck on Yoongi’s cheek and headed to his room.

“Wooed? I’m already wooed, Jimin, what are you eve–”

“Shh!” called Jimin over his shoulder. “I’m wooing you!”

Well, Yoongi couldn’t argue with that. If Jimin wanted to cook for him, to spend time just the two of them, that sounded good to Yoongi.

He hopped in the shower and spent a little extra time preparing himself. He didn’t know what Jimin had planned for after dinner, but Yoongi was ready.

He found Jimin in the kitchen after his shower. He looked fucking cute while he carefully cut vegetables, his brow all furrowed and his lips pushed out in a little pout as he concentrated.

“Hyung!” said Jimin once he noticed Yoongi.

“What are you making?” Yoongi rounded the counter and peered down at the ingredients Jimin had set out on the counter.

“Japchae,” he answered.

“Can I help you?” asked Yoongi.

Jimin nodded and they got to work, side by side at the counter as they chopped vegetables. Yoongi cooked those while Jimin made the noodles and the marinade. Once they were almost done, Jimin herded Yoongi to the table and made him sit down while Jimin finished up.

A few minutes later, Jimin carried the bowl of japchae over and set the table with plates and several side dishes from the fridge. The last thing he brought over was a bottle of champagne.

Yoongi laughed. “Oh, are we celebrating?”

Jimin smiled and sat across from him. “I know I am. I’ve been in love with you forever, hyung – this doesn’t even feel real.”

Yoongi agreed. “I didn’t get anything done today. I think you broke me this morning.”

Jimin reached for the bottle and popped it open, pouring some champagne into each of their glasses. “In a good way?”

“In a good way,” Yoongi confirmed.

“This is surreal, hyung. I thought I’d have to pine forever,” said Jimin, reaching for Yoongi’s plate and piling it high with noodles.

“I’ve been an absolute mess over you for years – you obviously had some kind of clue.”

Jimin took a bite and hummed thoughtfully. “It wasn’t that I knew you liked me. Honestly this morning, when I saw you out there panicking because of what happened, I knew something was going on. Like… if you didn’t feel some type of way, then you would have just talked to me, hyung. So I guessed, and I hoped to god I was right because I have wanted you forever.”

Yoongi blushed and hid his face in his hands. “I’m an idiot.”

Jimin reached across the table and squeezed Yoongi’s arm. “You just think yourself in circles sometimes, hyung. You’re not an idiot.”

Which wasn’t wrong, Yoongi thought. But he wasn’t exactly sure how to stop.

“Just talk to us, hyung – that’s all,” said Jimin like he read Yoongi’s mind.

“I will,” said Yoongi.

As they ate, Yoongi lost himself with Jimin like he always did when Yoongi actually gave Jimin a chance. He loved talking to Jimin, he loved the way Jimin laughed and smiled at him. It made Yoongi feel like maybe it didn’t have to be hard – being with Jimin was easy. He’d just made it hard for himself.

He didn’t have to hide, not from Jimin, not anymore.

Once they finished dinner, Jimin hopped up and put their plates in the sink before stopping at the fridge. He pulled out a small white box, grabbed a small plate from a cabinet, and placed them on the table.

“And dessert!” he said, smiling brightly.

Yoongi opened the box – inside were several chocolate covered strawberries. “When did you even get these?” asked Yoongi.

Jimin laughed and sat in the chair next to Yoongi’s. “Taehyung insisted he needed to help me for tonight – he picked these up before they all left.”

“He’s really rooting for us,” said Yoongi.

“They all are, hyung. Whatever happens, I know they’ll have our back. They love us,” said Jimin.

Jimin took a strawberry and held it to Yoongi’s lips.

Yoongi leaned forward and took a bite – they were delicious and Yoongi chewed happily as Jimin set the top of the strawberry on his plate.

And then Jimin swiped his thumb across Yoongi’s bottom and wiped some chocolate off of Yoongi’s lips with his thumb before licking it off of his finger and smiling wickedly.

“Shit, Jimin,” breathed Yoongi, a blush rising to his cheeks.

Jimin smiled. “Are you shy, hyung?”

Something went off in Yoongi then, that same part of him that always wanted to push and push Jimin until one of them snapped.

He grabbed Jimin’s wrist and pulled his hand back to his lips. He parted his lips and took two of Jimin’s fingers into his mouth.

“Fuck.” Jimin stood up, keeping his fingers in Yoongi’s mouth. He pressed them down on Yoongi’s tongue. “You look so good sucking on me like this.”

And if that didn’t make Yoongi’s cock start to harden in his pants. He reached down to squeeze his cock through his pants, and Jimin’s eyes followed the movement.

“Does it make you hard, hyung? Thinking about me inside you? Filling you up?”

And holy fuck, Yoongi was going to lose this round.

Jimin pulled his fingers out of Yoongi’s mouth and pulled him to his feet and into a kiss that stole the breath from Yoongi’s lungs. Jimin was hard against him, and Yoongi wanted.

“Fuck,” Yoongi breathed against Jimin’s lips.

Jimin kissed his way across Yoongi’s jaw. “Do you want to?”

“Fuck? God, yes.”

Jimin took Yoongi's hand, leading him to the bedroom he shared with Hoseok. Jimin flicked the lights on and then turned towards Yoongi, grabbing his hips and pulling him close for another scorching kiss. Yoongi felt like he could kiss Jimin forever.

Jimin backed Yoongi onto his bed, pushing him down lightly to sit on the edge of it before crawling into his lap. Jimin kissed him again, and god, Yoongi loved his lips. He bit down on Jimin’s bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth.

Jimin ground down against him, and Yoongi moaned, the friction against his cock everything and not enough at the same time.

“So hard for me, hyung. I want to see.”

Yoongi nodded and scooted back on the bed for more room. Jimin helped him take his pants and boxers off, and then reached to take his shirt off as well.

And then Yoongi was lying on the bed naked, while Jimin was kneeling between his legs fully clothed and with eyes wide.

“Fuck, hyung. Look at you,” Jimin breathed, reaching to trail a finger up the underside of Yoongi’s cock.

Yoongi shook – he needed Jimin’s hands all over him. “More – touch me more.”

Jimin smiled. “Okay,” he said, bending down to kiss and suck along one of Yoongi’s thighs.

Yoongi squirmed as Jimin marked his thighs up with love bites before moving to drop kisses over his hip bones.

And while it was nice, honestly probably the best thing that had ever happened to Yoongi, Jimin wasn’t touching his cock, and that just seemed unacceptable.

Yoongi reached for his cock, but Jimin grabbed his wrist lightning fast and pinned it to the bed next to Yoongi’s hip.

“No, you don’t touch.”

The command in Jimin’s voice made Yoongi’s head spin. He liked it when Jimin told him what to do. Yoongi blinked up at him, the words stolen right out of his brain.

“Say yes, Jimin-ah.”

Yoongi swallowed. “Yes, Jimin-ah.”

Jimin pressed a kiss to Yoongi’s stomach. “Good, hyung.”

Yoongi, honest to god, almost whined. He loved Jimin like this – confident and telling him what to do. He trusted Jimin to take care of him, to make him feel good.

By the time Jimin got up to get the lube, Yoongi was in shambles. Jimin had kissed him everywhere except where Yoongi wanted him most. The bottle of lube landed on the bed next to Yoongi’s hip and then Jimin was stripping out of his clothes.

Jimin’s cock was hard and glistening at the tip.

“Fuck,” Yoongi said. He wanted to taste.

Jimin smiled and climbed back in between Yoongi’s legs. “Soon.”

He opened Yoongi up quickly, apparently almost as impatient as Yoongi was. When he went to add a third finger, Yoongi stopped him.

“No, I like the stretch. I need you, please.”

Jimin took a deep breath and nodded. He scooted closer and Yoongi wrapped his legs around Jimin’s hips.

After a few teasing swipes of the head of Jimin’s cock over his entrance, Yoongi groaned and tightened his legs around Jimin’s waist. “Please, Jimin-ah.”

Which seemed to be magic words, because finally, finally Jimin was pushing into him, and the stretch was sharp and overwhelming and perfect.

Yoongi had thought about this before – he tried not to, because he’d always thought this was impossible, but Jimin was Jimin – gorgeous and hot as hell, and now he was all Yoongi’s. The thought gave him a headrush.

Yoongi could touch him and kiss him and fuck him, and he was once again struck by the feeling that this couldn’t be real.

“So tight,” said Jimin, leaning forward and dropping his forehead to Yoongi’s collarbone.

Once Jimin was fully inside, Yoongi took a deep breath. He was so full.

Jimin gave him a minute to adjust, and Yoongi was thankful for it – he loved this moment, when he fully felt the stretch and got to feel the connection of being as close to someone as possible. What made it a little mind bending was that this was Jimin. The love of his fucking life was inside him, and Yoongi suddenly needed him to move more than anything.

“Move,” Yoongi gasped.

And Jimin did. He fucked into Yoongi slowly, with long powerful strokes that had Yoongi’s toes curling.

Jimin kissed him again, and Yoongi was dying. Yoongi was broader than Jimin was, but he felt smaller like this, with Jimin inside him and above him.

“You feel so good, hyung. Made for me,” Jimin said.

Yoongi writhed and reached for his cock.

Jimin captured his arms and pinned them above his head.

“What did I say about touching yourself?” Jimin asked.

“Oh my god,” said Yoongi, squeezing his eyes shut. He was close already – so pent up and turned on that he probably could come after just a few strokes.

Jimin held him there on the edge, and Yoongi loved it and hated it. He wanted to stay here forever, but if he didn’t come soon, he might die.

Jimin was strong, but Yoongi was too. He pushed Jimin off of him and then onto his back. He scrambled onto Jimin’s lap and then sank down onto his cock with a moan.

“Holy shit,” Jimin said, looking up at Yoongi with wide eyes, his chest heaving.

But Yoongi was done with the teasing. He needed more, he needed Jimin to fill him up and make him come, and it needed to happen now.

Yoongi planted his hands on Jimin’s chest and began to ride him. God, Jimin felt so big like this, and his cock hit that place inside of Yoongi that made him see stars.

Jimin bit his lip and clenched his hands tighter around Yoongi’s waist.

“I love seeing you like this – god, Jimin, you’re so fucking hot. Want you to fill me up.”

Jimin gasped and planted his feet on the bed so he could fuck up into Yoongi.

Yoongi’s head fell forward and then Jimin’s hand was on his cock.

“I’m close, hyung,” Jimin said, his voice strained. “Are you going to come with me? Going to make a mess all over me?”

And that was it. With one more stroke of Jimin’s hand, Yoongi came so hard he almost blacked out with the intensity of it.

Jimin groaned underneath him and stilled, filling Yoongi up just how he wanted.

And Yoongi was overwhelmed – all full of Jimin and the fact that this was a possibility for them at all after so long telling himself that it would be impossible.

He collapsed onto Jimin’s chest and tried to catch his breath.

Jimin held him tight and ran his hand through Yoongi’s hair. “Love you, hyung,” Jimin said, breathless.

Yoongi smiled and pressed a kiss to Jimin’s chest. “Love you too, Jimin-ah.”

Once they caught their breath, Jimin gently pulled out of Yoongi and shifted him onto the mattress. He quickly ran to the bathroom and brought back a warm washcloth to clean Yoongi up. When he was done, he threw it back in the bathroom and then clicked the lights off.

Yoongi took a moment to think about how he really should pick the washcloth up off the bathroom floor before Hoseok got home, but he was exhausted – fucked out and happy and shocked that this was his real life.

And as they got ready to sleep, Jimin spooned Yoongi and pulled him close, like that night all those weeks ago when Yoongi had gone to sleep next to him for the first time. Jimin’s hand rested above Yoongi’s heart, and this time, Yoongi knew that Jimin would keep it safe for him.

Dance practice the next day was a little brutal, but Yoongi still felt lighter than air. Jimin loved him. And made him dinner. And then fucked the everliving daylights out of him.

And if the other members shot him knowing smirks and winks in the mirror, well so fucking be it because Park Jimin loved him back.

Yoongi went back to his own room after rehearsal that night, leaving Jimin at the door to his room with a heated kiss.

While he wanted to sleep with Jimin, preferably every single night for the rest of his whole life, he had to try. Had to know if he was cured. There were a million reasons in the future that he wouldn’t be able to sleep next to Jimin – their schedules wouldn’t always line up so perfectly.

He was tired enough, he thought. It wasn’t like, outside of the times his condition acted up, he was bad at sleeping.

So that night, even though it was a little early, he curled up under his covers, sent Jimin a goodnight text with two whole heart emojis, and then closed his eyes.

When he opened his eyes next, it was early – the sun coming through the shades was barely strong enough to light up the room.

But Yoongi had slept all by himself. His heart started racing, and he pushed himself out of bed to run to Jimin’s room.

He was so excited, and he wanted to tell Jimin all about it.

Jimin and Hoseok were still asleep, and Yoongi knew that it was probably ridiculously early, but this couldn’t wait.

He shook Jimin awake gently.

“Hyung, what? Are you okay?” asked Jimin, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

Yoongi took his hand and pulled him to his feet. He led Jimin to the living room and pushed him onto the couch.

Jimin stared up at him with his head tilted in confusion, his hair disheveled and his face all puffy, and holy shit Yoongi could just kiss him now.

So he did. He climbed right onto Jimin’s lap and kissed him thoroughly before pulling back and squeezing his cheeks together to force his lips into a little pout.

Jimin grabbed his wrists and gently pulled Yoongi’s hands away from his face.

“Hyung, respectfully, what the fuck is happening right now?”

Yoongi laughed. “I slept, Jimin-ah!”

Jimin smiled and settled his hands on Yoongi’s waist. “I’m glad! But also why are you telling me this at five in the morning?”

Which was… fair, Yoongi supposed. Jimin didn’t know why it was such a big deal to him, probably didn’t even realize the extent of Yoongi’s sleep issue at all.

“Uh… so you know how I couldn’t sleep?”

Jimin nodded.

“Well, yeah, I mean, obviously you knew on account of the whole… cuddling thing. But there’s a little bit more to it than that,” Yoongi said.

Jimin squeezed his waist in encouragement.

“Ever since I was a baby, there have been times where I can’t sleep. And not in the, like… sleep two hours a night kind of way. I’m physically unable to sleep at all,” said Yoongi, settling back to sit more comfortably on Jimin’s thighs.

Jimin frowned. “That sounds awful, hyung. Have you been to the doctor? Do you know what the cause is?”

“I don’t know why it happens, but I know how to make it better. Every time it’s happened to me before, at some point I touch something that I really need or want or love, and then suddenly I’m able to sleep again. It’s weird, but it’s just been how it’s been my whole life. And I’m pretty sure you cured me this time, Jimin-ah.”

Jimin smiled at him before leaning forward to drop a quick peck on his lips. “Look at my hyung, sleeping all by himself.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes and pushed Jimin’s shoulder lightly.

“I am happy, though, hyung. I was really worried about you. But, like… why weren’t you able to fall asleep after just cuddling me? You still had trouble sleeping after we shared a bed. What changed between the first night and now?”

Yoongi hadn’t really thought about that. What had changed? He knew how his condition worked – he touched and then he was able to sleep. Why didn’t cuddling with Jimin do the trick? It’s not like he’d picked up any awards or lamb skewers in between sleeping with Jimin and falling asleep all by himself.

But. Oh… oh.

Yoongi eyes flashed down to Jimin’s crotch, and Jimin followed his gaze.

“H-hyung…” Jimin said, biting his lip as though to keep from laughing in Yoongi’s face.

Yoongi put his face in his hands. “Oh my fucking god.”

And Jimin broke, launching into a bout of laughter that had him doubling over, burying his face against Yoongi’s chest. Yoongi couldn’t help joining in.

It was so fucking ridiculous. So stupid. Was touching Jimin’s cock really the solution to his problem?

“This is so stupid,” Yoongi said, wrapping his arms around his stomach.

“My dick is magic,” Jimin wheezed through his tears, and that set them both off even harder.

“Yah! I do not care whose dick is magic. Can you please be quiet? It’s literally five in the morning!” shouted Seokjin from down the hall.

Jimin covered his mouth with his hands and collapsed against the back of the couch, his entire body shaking with silent laughter.

Yoongi melted forward and hid his face in Jimin’s neck. “Oh my god, this is the worst,” he whispered once he finally caught his breath enough to speak.

Jimin wrapped his arms around Yoongi’s waist and hugged him tightly. “It’s not the worst. It’s the best. And you have free reign to touch my magic dick whenever you want.”