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Off Jumpol was never easily persuaded. You’ve got to be coughing blood or short of breath in front of him for him to even lay his eyes on you, much for your request to even be considered. He will only offer his precious attention if 1) you’re on the verge of death, 2) you have a valid reason (emergency, academics, etc.), 3) you’re Gun Atthaphan, or 4) you’re all three. Saying that he’s a tough nut to crack would be a huge understatement. You can say that Gun Atthaphan is one hell of an exceptional nutcracker to even acknowledge and comprehend Off’s existence.
Off Jumpol was never easily persuaded. But when his best friend, Gun, asks him to go to their last party in their last year in high school, Off immediately finds himself standing in front of a stranger’s door with nothing but despair and a pretty boy beside him.
“Come on, Off. This is probably the last party they’ll ever host,” Gun immediately ceased the opportunity to beg Off when the bell rang, indicating their lunch period. Last week, Tay announced that he’ll be hosting a party next Friday as their last get-together before they graduate high school. Because Gun Atthaphan is the life of the party, he has to be there.
“Thank God,” Off retorted with his monotonous voice while he unpacks the lunch box his mom made for him.
“You have never even attended any of their parties. Where’s the judgment coming from?” Gun rolled his eyes, following Off as he also opened his packed lunch.
“The party is just an excuse for people to rub on each other and drink like there’s no tomorrow.”
“And what’s wrong with that?” Off can tell from Gun’s voice that he was disheartened, even if his body language says otherwise.
“Nothing’s wrong. I just don’t want to go. That’s it,” Off replied with a tone that was a lot softer this time. And for the first time since Gun started coaxing him, Off finally looked at him. He immediately regretted his decision when Gun looked back at him with those eyes. Those fucking eyes.
“This is the last. It’ll be your first and last. Just try it. If you don’t like it, we’ll go home right away,” Gun attempts. For the last time. He had never begged Off to come with him to a party because he knows it’s not his type of scene. But this one’s the last, and he doesn’t want Off to totally miss out on things.
They stared at each other for a couple of minutes. Gun with those big, brown eyes that naturally hypnotize you to do whatever he wants and Off with the look that was meant to yield for said eyes. It was an intense game. But just like any other game, you can tell who will win.
“What time does it start?” Off asked, putting a mouthful of rice inside his mouth to hide the fact that he has, again, yet to win against the Gun Atthaphan.
Gun broke into a huge smile that nearly rips the skin around his face and clapped so loudly as if he’s in the Oscars giving a standing ovation.
“You won’t regret this. I’ll make sure this is your best party ever!” Gun cheered, happily taking a bite of his food and bouncing in glee on his seat. Off shaked his head as he ate his food, subconsciously breaking into a smile.
***
Off doesn’t really know what the fuck is he doing in an acquaintance’s house surrounded by a bunch of his high school batchmates either making out or getting wasted. All he knows is that when he entered the massive house, everybody cheered when they saw him. Off Jumpol, the Gun Atthaphan’s best friend, finally came to their high school party.
Off Jumpol was never really fond of drinking alcohol. But when Gun Atthaphan hands him a half-filled red cup, he finds himself taking it in his hand.
“I know you don’t like anything bitter so I got you this instead. Trust me, it tastes like pineapple juice,” Gun stated. Gun takes a sip on his cup while waiting for Off to drink on his. Off stared at his drink first before smelling it, which Gun chuckled at in response. Off looks at Gun and Gun looks back at him, anticipating the day Off will finally take a sip from his cup. Off hesitated for a bit before sighing and finally sipping his drink.
“How was it? Is it good?” Gun leans back on the wall, taking another sip from his drink.
“It’s…not bad,” Off replies, still letting the sweet and slightly acidic taste linger in his mouth.
“Told you. I had the people in the kitchen mix up a few drinks because they only had beer and other hard liquors you wouldn’t want,” Gun uttered. People greeted Gun as they passed by and Gun nodded at them in return. The music in the living room was loud, but silence enveloped them as they stood in the corridor. At that moment did Off only notice how Gun looks good in his outfit. He wore a black polo shirt that perfectly fitted his body, a pair of denim pants that accentuated his long legs most people fail to notice, and black sneakers that gave him a bit more height. It wasn’t anything too extravagant to be honest, but to Off, because Gun is wearing the ensemble, anything looks good.
Off realizes that he’s been staring at Gun for too long so he downs his drink, completely forgetting that it’s actually alcohol and not pineapple juice.
“Woah, slow it down a bit, will you?” Gun chuckles. But he immediately took it back as his chuckles got replaced by a mouth wide open when Off put down his empty cup and wiped a few spilled liquid on his face with the back of his hand.
“Okay, first time drinker, that is not how you want to do it,” Gun slowly takes Off’s cup from his grip and holds on to it. “That will be your first and last drink if you don’t want to spend the rest of the night with a severe headache and a churching stomach.”
Gun takes Off to the living room for them to sit down on the couch for a bit. It was kind of a bad idea because the room is starting to get cramped.
“Are you still okay?” Gun asks Off with a snicker on his face. He’s still in disbelief that Off “drinking alcohol is bad for your health” Jumpol immediately emptied his cup upon handing.
“Yeah, I’m good,” Off responded. He is, in fact, telling the truth. The alcohol wouldn’t immediately enter his system, but for safety reasons, he’s not gonna be drinking for the rest of the night.
“Okay, I’ll get you some water. Stay there,” Gun looks at him and pats his head before disappearing into the crowd.
The moment Gun left was when Tay Tawan appeared. Tay isn’t exactly a stranger to him, but he’s also not a friend. They were classmates since they were in middle school and their interactions were limited to the academic setting. So for Tay to approach him in his house, on his couch, at his party, Off doesn’t exactly know how he would react to this.
“Off Jumpol finally came to my party! How are you liking it so far?” Tay sat next to him, putting an arm around his shoulder while waiting for his answer.
“It’s…fine,” Off doesn’t exactly know what to answer. The party isn’t that bad, but it’s also not that special either. Off has no idea how to describe something he doesn’t like, especially when it’s the host asking him. On a normal day, Off would have bluntly answered that he doesn’t like it, but since Gun only invited him, he ought to give it a chance. He has to be on his best behavior.
“That was curt. Anyway, we’ll be playing a game in a while. You should join!” Tay smiled at him before finally leaving him alone. He probably sensed that Off was not in the mood to converse with him.
“Did I just see Tay’s arm around you?” Gun snorted, handing him a bottle of water and sitting beside Off again.
“Unfortunately,” Off uncapped the bottle and drank it halfway ‘til it’s empty.
Gun was about to tell Off that drinking flavored alcohol is a lot riskier than drinking straight hard liquor because most of the time, you wouldn’t even notice how many you’ve drank because of how good it tastes, but a girl shouted his name from across the living room.
“Gun!” Gun couldn’t see whose voice it was from at first, but when he stood up, he was delighted to see who it belonged to.
“Namtaan!” Gun gestured to Off that he’ll be right back before he disappeared again in the crowd.
Tay Tawan sure knows his timing because right after that was him standing on the coffee table with a mic on one hand.
“Okay, everyone! Gather around the living room, stop the drinks, stop the music, stop the dancing, because tonight we will be playing a game!” Some people cheered, some just clapped, and some just stayed silent, like Off.
“I want you all to sit on the floor and form a circle. Yes, yes, form a circle,” despite the announcement, Off was still seated comfortably on the couch while most people were finding a way to sit on the floor and fit in one circle.
“Are we forming a cult or something?” Someone shouted that made everyone laugh.
“Shut up!” Tay shushed him before proceeding with the mechanics. “I want you all to sit on the floor and form a circle because we will be playing seven minutes in heaven!”
People cheered and immediately found a space on the floor to join the game.
“Great, how original,” Off deadpanned. He stood from his seat not to sit on the floor but to leave the room so they could play their silly little game.
“Off Jumpol, I see you walking out. Come join the game, please? We’ve been classmates since middle school, come on!” Tay wasn’t exactly a jerk both in middle school and high school. He was just…extroverted. So extroverted, it freaks the hell out of Off.
But no matter how influential Tay is, Off will never budge. Off turns his head to walk away from the commotion.
Off Jumpol never does anything you ask him to outside academics. But when Gun Atthaphan asks him to stay and join, he finds himself frozen from a step he was about to take.
“Join the game, please?” Off’s head was facing away from where the people were, from where Gun was. But even if he doesn’t have his eyes on Gun, for some fucking reason, he can still feel Gun’s hypnotizing eyes piercing right through him. It’s as if his weak body was only created to capitulate for something so powerful.
Before he even knew it, his body turned 180 degrees from where he was just a minute ago. He sighed and dragged his feet across the room where the people cheered for him, where Gun and his annoying pretty smile were.
I’m fucking doomed for life.
As much as he wants to sit next to Gun, there’s no more space beside him. However, there’s a little space on Oab’s right side, making him move to the left to make room for Off. Although far away from where his best friend was, he’s kinda glad that his seat is actually across from him. In this way, Gun can see him and he can see Gun.
“Now that everyone’s here, which is not even a lot to be honest, we’ll now choose who gets to enter the magical gates of heaven. By magical gates of heaven, I mean the supply closet under the stairs,” Tay was right. There were not a lot of people at the party. It wasn’t too much for the room to feel hot, but also not too few for people to hear each other breathing. The party’s attendees were a maximum of 25 people at best.
“We’ll pick who gets to the gates first with the help of our trusty empty beer bottle! Pray that your luck is working overtime today,” and with that, Tay spins the bottle in the middle of the circle of people. While everyone waits for whom the bottle will land on, Off glances at Gun. Gun probably felt the eyes on him, making him avert his gaze towards Off as well.
“I don’t like this game,” Off mouths silently.
Gun chuckles, “Me neither,” he replies.
“Then why are you playing it?” Without a sound, Off asks him, to which he only received a smile and a shrug.
Missing out on the whole anticipation, Tay announces who gets to try out the “magical gate to heaven” first.
“Janhae and Namtaan! We have a winner!” People bursted into shouts and applause that echoed through the whole room. “You know the drill, ladies. Make out for seven minutes, that’s it. Have fun!”
With no hesitation, the two girls stood up and headed to the closet. People cheered once again when they closed the door. Some girls placed their ears on the door to try and hear if they’re actually making out, but some asked them to step back and give them some space.
While people waited for the seven minutes to be over, Tay played the music once again and people started drinking and chattering.
Before everyone knows it, the timer already went off, indicating that the seven minutes was over. Tay knocked on the door to tell them that it was over. When they walked out, folks were clapping and screaming, as if what they did was something revolutionary. Off stayed silent while observing people and their behaviors.
Gun greeted Namtaan when his friend sat again on her seat. They whispered to each other something Off cannot hear, but based on their reactions, they’re probably talking about what happened in there.
Time passed by so quickly. A pair comes in and a pair comes out. One after another. Some combinations were completely shocking because of how random they are. Imagine attending a party for free drinks, but you ended up making out with someone you barely interacted with in class. But then again, anything is possible in a party filled with hormonal teenagers. Some pairings, on the other hand, were already expected. Established couples, who miraculously entered the gates of heaven together, probably prayed so hard for the stars to align for them. And before you even know it, almost everyone had their turn.
Knowing that almost everyone had their turn already, Off felt more anxious than ever. For some reason, his body is telling him that his much dreaded moment is about to come. Tay spins the bottle for the nth time this night. Looking at Off right now, he probably looks like he’s unbothered or completely uninterested in this game. But if you use your ears, you can definitely hear his heart beating loud enough to escape his ribcage. Fortunately for him, the music is also loud enough to hide the way his heart is thumping right now.
Much to his delight, his heart finally stopped acting up—but for all the wrong reasons. The moment the bottle stopped spinning was also the moment he felt like the world was ending. Because on the longer end of the bottle was an expressionless Gun, and on the other end was someone that is not him.
Upon knowing whose turn it is this time, Gun’s first thought was to look at Off, only to find out that Off has been looking at him this whole time—and it’s not the gaze Gun wants for Off to look at him.
“Okay, we have a winner number I can’t count anymore! Gun and Oab, you are free to enter heaven anytime you want,” Tay declares, completely unaware of the tension brewing right at that moment.
Before any of them can react, Oab says something that completely shocks everyone.
“I actually have a girlfriend already so I’m gonna have to pass on this game,” Oab confesses sheepishly.
“Then why the fuck are you even playing this game, mate? Get out!” Tay countered, making everyone laugh, including Oab, who throws a potato chip at him in return. “You’re just waiting for the perfect excuse to announce that you finally have a girlfriend. How groundbreaking.”
“Now that Oab’s out, which should’ve happened a long time ago, let’s just have Off replace Oab. You are the one next to him after all,” Tay suggested.
Off and Gun shared a look. For the first time in years they’ve known each other, neither of them can read each other at that moment.
“Wouldn’t it be more fair if we just spin the bottle again?” Arm proposed. Some nodded in response, some argued in return. But before any of them can decide on what to do, something’s already been settled.
“I’m okay with Off,” Gun proclaimed.
“Okay, it’s solved then. Off and Gun for seven minutes in heaven!”
Off’s mind already stopped functioning the moment he knew Gun’s turn was nearing. The thought of Gun kissing another guy that was not him still hasn’t synced in his mind yet. In fact, he refuses to think about it. But deep inside him, he knows that that image will forever dig holes in his heart enough to shatter him completely.
At this point, he doesn’t know what’s going on anymore. All he knows is that this is one thing he never saw coming. But before he could even object, Gun had already dragged him inside the closet.
“What the hell?” Was the first words that came out of Off’s mouth when they got inside. It’s also the first thing he said since the game started. “Are we really playing this game?”
“Of course not,” Gun laughs.
Oh.
Off doesn’t know how to feel about that.
He doesn’t know how to feel about the possibility of Gun kissing someone else. He doesn’t know how to feel about him kissing Gun. He doesn’t know how to feel about not being able to kiss Gun.
Even if he says he doesn’t know how to feel, he knows .
“I know that you’re not comfortable with this,” Gun stated, sitting on the dusty floor of an old supply closet. “I just had to go with it because they won’t stop until we’re inside this fucking closet. Besides, they won’t even know what we’ll do here.”
“We don’t have to do anything here you’re not comfortable with.”
Feeling dumb that he’s still standing in front of the door like it’s gonna magically open for them to escape, Off finally sat down beside Gun.
“ I’m not comfortable with?”
“Yeah.”
“Does that mean you’re comfortable with it ?”
Off doesn’t know where he got the courage from to say something like that. It’s definitely not from himself. And it’s definitely not from the alcohol he took hours ago.
Yet, all Gun was able to do was stare at him in silence. When the deafening silence was too much, he coughed and shifted from his seat.
“You know, I’ve always wondered why you never want to engage in normal teen stuff,” Gun changed the subject. Off felt the need to snort when Gun asked.
“What do you mean by ‘normal teen stuff’?” Off chuckled.
“Going to parties? Drinking? Making out?” Gun answered genuinely, but found himself immediately losing it at the mention. “Why? What’s so funny?”
“Nothing,” Off said, obviously still laughing. “Nothing, really. It’s just that…I’m not against any of those things, and you know that. But unlike you guys, I never developed an inclination towards these things. And it’s not because I want to be different so bad, but I guess I never really felt like I belonged to that group of people even if I do.”
“It’s actually better that you’re doing this,” Gun uttered, shifting his gaze from the blank door to Off’s face. “I’m glad that you’re not forcing yourself to fit in just because people are doing this and that. That’s actually what I liked about you.”
Both of them stopped at what Gun said. Did Gun just say that? Did he just admit his feelings for Off?
Off finally returned Gun’s stares. Knowing Gun, he’s not gonna back out on this. And knowing Off, he’s most likely not gonna survive this again. This is the exact reason why he didn’t want to lay his eyes on Gun in this cramped room. Off knows that he will not be able to take his eyes away from Gun if he ever gets the sight of him again.
Gun contemplates whether he should take back what he said and explain that it’s just a misunderstanding. But in that moment, Gun chose to be brave. Gun chose to let go of everything that’s holding him back.
Maybe it’s their current proximity talking. Electrical currents flew across the room as their shoulders touched, so strong that it might as well power up a whole town. Maybe it’s the warmth from the sides of their hands touching, or maybe it’s their fingers subconsciously intertwining as if they were never meant to ever let go of one another. Maybe it’s all of those things. But no amount of maybe’s can ever explain why Gun was closing the space between them, why Off was frozen in his spot, and why Off can suddenly move the moment Gun’s lips were on him—because this thing was certain.
Off locked his lips on Gun’s as if he was waiting his whole life for this moment. He places his hand on Gun’s cheek while Gun’s fingers find their way to Off’s soft hair. The kisses were rhythmic, but gentle. Gun’s lips were as soft as the clouds that held up the kingdom of heaven. Off can get why the game is called the way it is.
But for Off, this is actually hell in disguise. A time as short as seven minutes can never account for the way he feels about Gun, the way Gun feels on him right now, and the way he will feel about him for the rest of his life. Because anything as short as this is hell. And if this is hell, then hell is the place Off wants to be if it means being with Gun.