Chapter Text
It’s the end of another shift and as this is the end of Andy’s first week as captain it has been decided to celebrate at Joe’s.
It’s the end of shift, and ideally all Maya really wants is to go home and catch up on some sleep after a busy shift, but Carina has already texted her to let her know a few people are going to Joe’s after shift too and all Maya also really wants is to see her wife.
The bar isn’t too busy, she still finds it funny that there’s a bar with the opening times to suit the needs of doctors and fellow firefighters. Walking in she sees Carina sat with Amelia and Teddy and she heads straight over desperate for her wife. She squeezes her shoulder and whispers ‘Ciao Bella’ in her ear, with an awful accent just to see Carina smile. Carina turns and pulls Maya by her T-shirt ‘Ah, Italiano ora? Eh?’ Smirking and leaving no time for her to respond as she kisses her deeply.
‘Whoop! GET IT BISHOP’ they hear Vic shout from behind them and they part away and to see the rest of the team have pulled up chairs to join the doctors, Maya smiles bashfully as Amelia sighs dramatically ‘Why can’t we have a threesome just once’ she asks dreamily; Maya, ever the shy one goes red and goes up to the bar whilst Carina explains that no one gets to see Maya naked except for her.
Ordering herself a beer and a white wine for Carina, she walks back to the table, drinks in hand and hands the wine over ‘ Grazie mille bambina, tu sei perfecto, il mio cuore. So, Andy how has your first week of captain been?’
Now, Maya knows, she KNOWS that she should be over this but hearing those words just make her feel like shit. She knows Andy deserves to be captain, she knows that her demotion was unfair and she knows everyone else knows it. She just wishes it didn’t hurt so much, to feel like such a god damn failure every time she addresses someone else as captain. She has spoken to Diane about it, she knows that it’s linked to her childhood, and the more she comes to terms with her triggers the less it will bother her but she feels this week has been testing her patience.
Why did no one give Andy a rough time?
What does Andy have that she didn’t?
Do they just not really like her? Did they think so little of her that they didn’t think she would be able to lead them? She’s glad that Andy isn’t having a bad response to her captainship, really she is. But yet all Maya can think is she was seen as someone so poorly suited to the job that they had to let her know with every growing pain and mistake she ever made with those bars on her collar.
Before her hate spiral can run anymore she hears Andy say ‘I was born for this job! This first week has been amazing and I don’t doubt that next week will be the same. I mean, this team is great and I know everyone’s strengths and weaknesses to make sure I make the right calls when I need to. I can’t believe it took the department so long to promote me to be honest’ It’s an insult, clear as day it's a dig at Maya, and yet no one seems to notice except her, not even Carina.
Her and Carina are in such a better place than before, but this is one thing Maya decided to keep to herself, this hatred of herself that she was never seen as good enough for the team. Maya knows Carina only has so much patience before she will snap and tell Maya to get over herself. The thought makes her beer taste less than appealing, and the hunger that was in tummy has evaporated like water from a puddle on a hot day, and the extra serving of mozzarella sticks Carina ordered sit there and she pushes them back to Carina.
’Bella, you must eat, mangare!’ Maya tries one but it tastes as sour as the thoughts in her head. She smiles sweetly at Carina and tells her she ate not too long before her shift finished. As time ticks by, Carina is on her second glass of wine and is having a little dance with Amelia and and the rest of the crew are talking about the past week and how seemingly seamless Andy’s transition has been. She can’t take any much more and as Carina sits back down she turns to let her know she is leaving, that she is just feeling a little anxious and would like to go home but before she can Andy grabs her hand and drags her up to dance, and Maya is left like a sinking ship as her only lifeboat is ripped away from her. She stands up and grabs her jacket, she turns to the rest of the team to let them know she is going to head off home but no one even notices her standing up or putting her jacket on and she feels alone and disliked once again and leaves the bar without a word.
It’s a good 20 minutes until Carina comes back from dancing and is wondering where her wife is. ‘Has Maya gone to the bathroom?’ She asks but no one knows where she is. She heads into the toilets and checks the stalls but she can’t see her so she calls her on her cell instead.
‘Maya, dove stai?’ She asks
‘Hey baby, I’m sorry I was feeling kind of overwhelmed and I just wanted to get home, shift was tiring and I’m sorr - ‘
‘Bella, calmata, it’s okay, you don’t have to apologise my love, why didn’t you tell me, I would have come with you’
‘You looked like you were having fun, I didn’t want to upset you or pull you away from your friends’
‘I will come home now okay, I will see you soon’
’I’ll order you an Uber or something, don’t walk alone’
‘Maya, I have had 1 and half glasses of wine; i can walk it is 15 minutes from here’
‘No. Please, I want to make sure you get home safe’
’Bene, ti amo bella’
‘Love you too baby’
Oh Maya, Carina thinks, you are not a burden to me, you are the love of my life, why must you think you need to feel like this alone, Carina thinks to herself. She wonders how Maya will be feeling when she’s home.