Chapter Text
The signs appeared on every child's tenth birthday. A different sign, and a different place for every person; but a sign none the less. Some people were not lucky and their signs were visible on their face but Clarke was considered lucky, at least that's what her mother told her. It took a full five minutes for her mother to find her sign, a complicated swirl of what looked like letters but could not be understood arranged in a circle spiraling inwards, a thin black cross through the center that can only be seen on closer inspection. Her sign was hidden behind her right ear, positioned far enough into her hair line that it could not be seen without pulling her hair out of the way.
You could add to the number of signs on your body in two ways; to love, or to be loved. When you loved someone their sign would appear on your body in the same place that their's was, signs often appeared before the person even knew of their feelings. When you were loved by someone you would develop an almost invisible square on your spine, so small you had to squint up close to see them. The more people that loved you and you did not love them, the more tiny squares you would have along your spine.
Signs could not be removed, many people tried, some ending in fatal blood loss at the frantic scraping of their own skin with sharp implements.
When Clarke was imprisoned on the Ark she had one extra sign, a square at the base of her neck courtesy of her best friend Wells. They didn't talk about it, she was the one that noticed the familiar sign behind his right ear soon after being sent to Earth. When he died she spent a long time thinking about the fact that he was still with her.
It happened quickly with Finn, he had sought her out at the medical bay with the soppiest look on his face ever. 'Show me your left calf.' She had been stitching a gash on Bellamy's bicep when Finn had burst in, she had frowned and efficiently finished the stitching before pulling up her pant leg to reveal the compass like sign on her calf. Her heart had raced as Finn pulled at his own pant leg to show her. Bellamy excused himself then, though neither Clarke nor Finn heard him. She lurched toward Finn to push his hair back from his right ear and there was hers.
When Raven arrived Clarke was distraught, she knew Finn had another sign on his body; a series of bird like ink marks across his forearm but she'd never asked and he'd never told. For a while Raven seemed to be unaware of the tension between Clarke and Finn, until Raven had arrived at the bathing pool as Clarke wrapped a towel around herself... and there it was. Finn's sign.
Clarke had seen Bellamy without a shirt several times, he had even seen her without a shirt a few times. She knew he had a triangular sign with an 'x' through the center on his left side, just under the level of his heart. It was when he was complaining about pains in his lower back that she saw just how many squares he had along his spine, over ten.
She didn't like the way her heart leaped and she didn't like the way Bellamy hovered over Kath when she was brought in with a spear wound to her chest, Clarke removed her shirt and felt her eyes drift up to Bellamy when she had to cut away her bra and saw the same sign he had. Bellamy's fingers had wrapped around Kath's wrist as she began to choke on her own blood, his thumbs pressing into the perfect circle she bore on her wrist. His thumb didn't move when Clarke told him she had died.
It was a few weeks later when they were pouring over plans of Mount Weather that he stretched his hand out to point at something on the other side, Clarke had been sipping a cup of herbal tea when she was drawn to his wrist where the perfect circle sat and she had found herself unable to look away. He had said her name, her mother had said her name, but it wasn't until he finally tore his eyes up from the map that he saw her eyes. His hand withdrew and from where she was stood she saw him swallow. She put down her tea and leaned over the map to suggest a different plan.
When he opened the door at Mount Weather she had felt it, the burn in her side so sudden that she couldn't speak. Bellamy looked across at her over Octavia's shoulder and Clarke had no words because she knew that she had his sign now, and she was petrified he had another square on his spine.
Just as Clarke felt Bellamy become a part of her, she felt the loss of herself in the moment she pulled the trigger on Dante.
The same moment that Bellamy felt the all too familiar headache that had been there for months now, since their first incident with the acid fog and Atom, behind his right ear. He had been too worried by the pain to go to the medical bay, there'd been people with constant headaches that had died in less than a year on the Ark and he wasn't going to put that burden on Clarke or, after, Abby.
As they stood at the gates, he told her to stay, he almost begged. She told him she couldn't, that she didn't even know who she was anymore, she pulled back the hair behind her ear and showed him nothing. 'It's gone, Bell. My sign. I don't love myself, I don't even like myself anymore. I can't stay.' She hugged him and he tried desperately to ask if the pain behind his ear was her sign but he couldn't bring himself to, so instead he let her walk away. He refused to look back in an attempt to save his own sanity, so later that evening he turned his head towards the mirror and carefully clipped away some of his dark hair... and there it was.