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Biological Meltdown

Summary:

Since Dean hit puberty, he's kept a secret from Sam, but now it's all too much and he breaks down. Based on this prompt for the comment meme at Take_the_knot.

Note: As is typical of my Sam/Dean fics, this negates all but the first season. This time I went with an alternate ending to the next to last ep -- Salvation.

Posted to Live Journal Jan. 1, 2012

Work Text:


Biological Meltdown by sdwbf

Burning up from the inside out. Dean Winchester lay in the motel bed staring up at the ceiling his heart pounding so loudly he couldn't tell if his brother's breathing had evened out enough to indicate Sam had fallen asleep. Been more than an hour since they'd slipped into their respective beds and turned out the lights. Surely he was asleep by now. God, please.

Dean bit his lip and let the sharp pain stifle the moan threatening. Nothing could stop the shivering. Gotten worse since a click of a switch had plunged the room into darkness. Almost like even something as involuntary as muscles determined to shake him apart still wanted to keep his secret. Except, after fourteen years he was losing the battle. Not surprising. Like most males, he'd hit puberty in late-middle school, but at the age of twenty-seven he was reaching his full sexual maturity. Early-bloomer in that regard since most omegas didn't go into true heat until thirty, but no mistaking that was what was happening to him. Christ.

He'd been so certain he had more time, or at least, if not time, that going into heat wouldn't be any worse than the vague sexual itch he'd had since his first wet dream. Not that Dad hadn't warned him otherwise, hadn't told him more than once that Dean would age differently, would look young and pretty most of his life until he sort of burned out like a battery at the end of a typical male life-span. That because he would become so dependent on his alpha, nature had set up some sort of time-delay switch to let an omega reach mental and physical maturity to combat the urge to mate himself to any knothead who glanced at him twice. Having an active pre-mating-urge sex life could have lessened the intensity of this first full-heat, but the vulnerability of being knotted to some stranger hadn't appealed to Dean and Dad hadn't been able to bring himself to push Dean to do otherwise for the same reason – never knew who to trust and nothing was as helpless as a knotted omega.

As embarrassing as it had been for both of them, Dad had bought Dean his first dildos. Slim with small knots, they'd taken the edge off as his body grew. By the time he'd needed larger models, he'd been old enough to get them himself, thank freaking God. Never had wanted Dad to know what a size-queen Dean was. Although he'd have taken an ad out in the paper if it would stop Sammy from finding out Dean wasn't an alpha like him and Dad.

John Winchester had never been thrilled with the self-image implied by Dean's insistence Sam not know, but he'd understood. Or at least said he did and had always acknowledged that – right or wrong thinking aside – it was Dean's secret to tell. And, no, he wasn't telling. Especially now.

Dean had always felt his little brother needed the security of knowing a strong, brave alpha was always there to protect him. And sure, saying he was an alpha, even modeling his behavior and dress after their Dad with the testosterone ramped up times ten, didn't change his intelligence or fighting skill on any level. Dean knew he was smart and deadly in a fight, but grade school kids liked to tell bullshit stories. Hell, certain he would pop a knot instead of having his balls retreat inside of him when he hit puberty, Dean had told his share of them, too. So no, not shaking Sam's confidence in him by admitting the truth. By the time Sam was old enough to maybe handle it, he was in 'ditching his family as quick as he could' mode, so why give him a chance to use years of lying to him as an excuse to get gone even sooner?

Still, even after Sam had stormed out of their lives in the pursuit of 'apple pie normal,' Dad had standing orders for Dean – anything happened to Dad and he was to get his far too pretty ass to Sam fast as he could. That was the real reason he'd shown up in Sam's apartment last October. Except he hadn't known about Jessica Moore.

Unsettled, maybe even a little afraid to be on his own, he'd spun some bull about needing Sam's help to find Dad and had gotten Sam to come with him despite it having taken all of three seconds to see how happy Sammy had been in his new life. Had made Dean feel like a selfish jerk, but the more he'd found out about the near-fantasy world Sam had been living in, the more he'd felt like Sam had a shoe waiting to drop the size of Cleveland, and when it hit it wasn't going to make something as tasty as applesauce out of his apple pie. Dean had just never thought it would happen so fast or cost Jessica's life. He'd tortured himself more than one night over the fear he'd led the demon to that apartment, but most of the time he knew Sam hadn't done anything to hide who he was or where he was and Jessica's life had been lost more to that foolish insistence that normal people didn't hide shit or put down salt lines.

Still he figured maybe he'd had enough hand in what happened to deserve Sam's 'hey, soon as this is over, I'm outta here again' speech in Chicago. Had about gutted Dean. Large for an omega, Sam was one of the few alphas he'd encountered big enough to make him feel remotely safe, but, hey, at least he'd had Dad. Except he'd almost always known his father wouldn't survive the final encounter with the demon who had killed Mom. Hadn't made it hurt any less when it went down that way.

They'd split up when Meg had started killing old friends – Dad leaving the Colt the demons wanted with them while he'd willingly walked into a trap with a fake gun. At the last second, Dean had hung onto the magic-infused revolver when he and Sam had charged into the home of Azazel's latest victim. Dean had shot him right between the eyes a split second before he could vacate the body he'd possessed. Two more bullets from the gun had killed Meg and her brother, but not before they'd killed Dad to avenge their own father's death. Dean could only hope they'd ranted enough before killing John Winchester for him to know his wife's death had been avenged and Sammy was safe from whatever shit Yellow Eyes had planned for him.

Now they were halfway through Sam's 'sleep for a month' plan and nothing had been said or done to indicate he'd changed his mind about heading back to Sanford and his dream of becoming a freaking lawyer. Plans that obviously did not include Dean. Damnit! At least his freaking heat could have waited until Sam had ditched his loser ass. Instead, his own body had sided against him to propel him into Hell.

If history repeated itself, once Sam returned to Palo Alto, Dean would never hear from him again, so he desperately wanted to have what little time he had left with his brother, but he ached from the emptiness. Blood burned with the need to be filled, bred. Dildo might help take the edge off, but he'd gotten rid of all of them after the apartment fire. On the road they lived in each other's pockets and he was as guilty of rifling through Sam's stuff in search of something as Sammy was of messing with his duffle. No way an alpha would have that particular piece of silicone and Sam had been giving him enough shit without finding out his brother wasn't even a beta. And after Chicago? Well, Dean would die before he told his brother the truth. Wasn't sure which would be worse – Sam staying with him out of an alpha's obligation to take care of him or having Sam shrug and wish him good luck with that before taking off again. Either way, Dean couldn't have handled it. So, no dildos. Not even a butt plug.

At least he'd been able to hide the scent suppression gel in a bottle of lube. Even if Sam would be creepy enough to use his brother's stuff for a little 'me time,' he'd never know it wasn't what the bottle claimed it was. So his secret was safe from Sam's nose. Or at least it had been. Dean's body was getting desperate enough for some form of release that his slick was starting to leak from the confines of his body. Kept diluting the suppression gel. Another couple of days, week at the most and Dean would have to do the leaving just to keep Sam from sniffing him out. Knew he'd mourn the loss of what few days more they might have had for the rest of his life.

Unable to lie still a moment longer, Dean slipped from the bed and closed the bathroom door between himself and Sam. The second it clicked shut, he jerked off his t-shirt and boxers unable to endure another moment of the brush of cloth against his hyper-sensitive skin. He leaned heavily against the sink, trying not to pant, far from certain he wasn't going to lose his mind.

Dad. God, he needed his father. Needed his deep voice and strong arms to make him feel safe, needed his wisdom to find him an alpha to take care of him. Couldn't hunt anymore. Dean knew that. His body needed a mate and a baby, and he'd never be able to put his child through the same life he and Sam had had. Dean had loved his father deeply, had known he'd done the best he could, but Dean's head wasn't hardwired to leave a child behind even for a few days. Fucking evolution. Between it and the damned demon he had or was about to lose everything – his parents, his brother, even his life's work.

His body convulsed and his thighs grew damp with the slick oozing from his hole. His eyes filled with tears as his knees grew too weak to hold his weight. Ended up sinking to the cold dingy floor like some pathetic drunk needing to stay close to the toilet.

Shivering with need, he reached back and pushed a finger inside him. Didn't help. Known it wouldn't. Could never get the right angle or deep enough with his own hand. But it was all he had, so he pushed in a second, then a third finger and started thrusting. His hole clenched, desperate for more and he knew in the morning he was going to leave. Going to run away from Sam, then fall to his hands and knees for the first alpha he came across.

A sob tore at his throat, then another. He tried to stop, tried to pull out the fingers doing more to torment him than help, but he couldn't. All he could do was lay there crying and finger fucking himself in a cold, dark crap-motel bathroom.

He didn't hear the door open, but light suddenly flooded the room, blinding him, freezing him in place with his fingers in his ass and his ball-less groin on display. "Oh, my God!" Sam's shout made him close his eyes and wish for death, but beyond that he couldn't move, caught in an omega's instinct to stay still when confronted with an angry alpha.

Didn't surprise him when Sam's hands closed on his arms, then jerked him up off the floor and over his shoulder. Mercifully the motion made his fingers fall free. Dean knew what came next. Even without his scent in full force, he knew what he must have looked like and no alpha could resist that. Not even his brother. Still he managed to pant out the only warning he could, "In heat." Sex would make him pregnant. No question.

"No shit," Sam muttered, half-easing, half-dropping Dean face-down on a bed. His brother's weight shifted above him, then a cock began pushing into his virgin ass. So big. So thick. So good. Dean moaned loudly and shoved backwards, taking more and more of Sam's monster cock into his body. Felt like it was splitting him in two, but the fiery burn of it made him all the eager for more. Meant for sex, for breeding. Needed it. Wanted it. More, more, more!

He felt the press of Sam's knot against his opening. Felt huge. Like it would rip him apart, but he welcomed the grip of Sam's hands on his hips, holding him in place for three hard thrusts that worked the knot inside. Dean screamed. Not in pain, although it hurt like hell, but in the grips of an orgasm so intense it made his head spin. Might even have blacked out for a second as he was filled, Sam's seed pumping deep inside him.

Dean came four more times as his ass milked all that lovely hot fluid from Sam. His world narrowed down to cock, knot and seed, Dean lost track of time, but he knew Sam softened, then hardened again without falling free from him at least twice more before exhaustion overcame Dean's need to mate. Sleep pulled him away from his brother rutting into him into a dream where Sam loved him.

*

Dean woke up to strong arms enfolding him and a cock still partially in his ass. He could tell from the amount of sunlight peeking through tacky curtains that it was around eight in the morning. Every instinct in his omega soul told him to relax, to settle into the warmth of his alpha and let him take care of Dean. Except the alpha in question was still Sam, the brother who'd made it clear Dean didn't belong in his vision of the future.

Omega instincts or not, Dean remained the older brother who would do anything for Sammy, and he forced himself to ease out of his alpha's arms and the bed. They were mated, his mind screamed as he silently dressed and gathered his things. Supposed to be an 'until death do they part' thing not some one-night stand fuck, but that wasn't the way his life worked. He pulled out his wallet and left all the cash he had left from a few successful nights of hustling pool. Be more than enough to buy Sam a bus ticket to California – compensation for taking the Impala and stranding him without wheels of his own.

He shouldered the bag and reached for the door knob, but suddenly a hard weight slammed into him, trapping him between it and escape. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Sam growled, his voice full of fury and threat. "I mated you," he hissed. "Filled your hungry cunt with my baby and made you mine."

Yes, he had. That's the way it worked and legally Dean and the baby belonged to Sam now, but, "You don't want me." Just giving voice to the awful words made his eyes tear up and his stomach twist with despair.

Sam growled again, then hauled Dean back to the bed, ripping his clothes off as they moved. Soon as his back hit the mattress, Sam impaled him knot-deep with one hard thrust. Should have torn him up, but not even his body could ever resist Sam.

He whimpered his submission, then did so again when Sam's hands clamped around his wrists, pinning them to either side of his head.

"Here's what's going to happen," Sam said, his tone one of controlled rage. "I'm going to fuck your cunt for a few more hours, then I'm going to spank your pretty backside raw."

Dean shivered, knowing how powerful Sam's hands were. Be a week at best before he'd be able to sit down, but it was getting off lightly. He'd tried to run away. Maybe his mind had tried to tell him it was the right thing to do, but he was Sam's property now and could do whatever he wanted to him. Was why an omega always needed someone to find a good mate for him and to make any legal challenges if that choice ever proved a poor one.

"Tomorrow I'll have you collared, registered and chipped," Sam said giving his hips a hard thrust that banged his knot into Dean's sweet spot, making him come despite the insult. No proper omega needed chipping. Only the rare naughty, slutty ones – the ones driven insane by surviving the death of their first, true mates.

Dean blushed brightly both humiliated and turned on by the idea of a tiny chip proclaiming him Sam's permanently implanted in his body. But it made him cry, too. He couldn't endure the idea of being so thoroughly claimed if Sam didn't love him, didn't see him as more than a pathetic obligation made somewhat shiny by their child growing in his womb.

Sam's manner softened and his lips brushed against his cheeks, nuzzling at the salty tears. Vaguely in the back of his mind, Dean remembered Dad telling him an omega's best weapon against an alpha was tears. Turned them into mush or something. "Shhh, baby, I'll take care of you."

Words of obligation, not love, they made Dean sob instead of comforting him. He'd loved Sam all his life and now with them mated, he was everything to Dean. Everything, but he was nothing more than a burden to Sam. Please, God, he needed Sam to love him, to want him.

Somewhere in there between getting sexed up and breaking down, he must have started babbling some of it, because Sam's arms tightened around him, his kisses growing almost as desperate as Dean felt. "No, no, baby, I love you," Sam insisted between those kisses. "I've always loved you."

He didn't know how many times Sam had said the words before they finally penetrated his near hysteria, but he finally heard them. "You do?" he whispered, his voice sounding small and lost even to his own ears.

Sam flinched. "Fuck, I've made a mess of things." He sat up, holding Dean close so he straddled Sam's lap, the cock pulsing inside him still firmly knotted. "Sweetheart, I'd have mated you five seconds after I first popped a knot if I'd known."

Although he had the sense not to do it for real, the thought of his scrawny baby brother mounting him back then made him mentally wrinkle his nose in a heartfelt ewww. Did have the benefit of stopping the waterworks though. "Needed to be big and strong for you, Sammy," he whispered a soft apology.

Sam nodded and looked relieved Dean had stopped losing it. "Figured. Also think maybe you might have needed me to be big and strong before I claimed you."

Dean blushed and lowered his gaze shyly. "Feel so safe in your arms." Not a denial, but lacked the sting of a flat-out confirmation. Sam would take care of him from now on, but, Dean would never be able to stop looking after him as well.

Arms tightened around him. "Gonna make sure you always feel that way." He pulled back enough for him to gently urge Dean's head up so their eyes could meet. "I'm done with denial, baby. I'll find a way to let us fight the good fight and take care of us. I promise."

For the first time in weeks, Dean managed a smile. He had a few ideas how they could pull it off, even let Sam still be a lawyer if that's what he really wanted. Turned out all that fantasizing over the years about the kind of life they could have if they stayed a team might finally prove useful, even if he'd never considered they'd be mates instead of mere partners. "I want babies, Sammy." At least the usual six common to an alpha-omega mating. Maybe more. "Want to watch my belly swelling and know you caused it, want to feel little ones with your face sucking my tits."

Sam groaned loudly, his whole body shuddering around and inside Dean. Never known alphas could come like that, and the thought he'd caused it made Dean shudder through his own spectacular orgasm. "God, I love you," Sam panted, holding him tight. "Keep you pregnant for years. I promise."

Dean moaned and clenched around Sam's knot, coming hard enough again to make him black out. When he … refocused, they were still knotted, but Sam had settled them on the bed with Dean spooned up against his chest. Made him feel safe, loved, wanted. Even if the touch hadn't, when Sam realized he was awake again, he whispered the words over and over again.

The next day, he still spanked Dean for trying to run, but it wasn't the hard, brutal punishment threated. Hurt, made him cry, but it also kind of turned him on. Even felt sort of proud of his bright red ass when Sam took him to the local city hall for his collar and registration. Dean was naked during the ceremony, of course. As Sam put it, he was on display for every alpha to see what they'd missed out on. Made Dean feel all shy and happy. Clingy, too. Which Sam seemed to like a lot.

Dean even hummed happily when Sam made good on his threat and had him chipped afterwards. He belonged to Sam Winchester. His alpha, his mate. And the more ways there were to let the world know about it, the better Dean liked it.

end