Work Text:
こんにちわ～! わたしのなまえわあめです! どぞよろしぉおねがいします!
It's a calm day for The Armed Detective Agency.
Nothing out of ordinary happened yet, which is a relief. The whole agency really need a break after all of those dangerous experiences that they have gone through. Sure, they can manage just fine, but even the smartest person in the world have their limits.
Which is why both Ranpo and Dazai's desk are currently empty.
They haven't come to the Agency for a few days, due to them requesting a short-term break to the President. And while the way they act about it did raise some question from other members, they just brushed it off. Not wanting to bother the couple, not when those two finally have their time together after so long.
..Okay, that last bit might be a lie. Because as soon as Ranpo and Dazai left the agency, they all start speculating on what kind of things the two will do on their free time together.
...
Some say that they're watching a movie together, maybe cuddling on their bed, and even do a little bit of cooking. Even though that's not all, the other guesses are.. quite intimate, Atsushi had to close Kyouka's ears, all red as he can't imagine that his mentor and Ranpo are doing such things, as the girl stared, looking unamused by the action.
"..Kyouka is used to hear this type of talk, Atsushi-san didnt have to close Kyouka's ears."
"Kyouka-chan!"
And so, the day progress normally without any problem.
The members of the Agency can't deny that they miss the two, though. The workplace feels so empty without Ranpo munching on his snack, without Dazai fooling around, trying to Annoy Kunikida, Without their laughs, as the pair of detectives joking around, and sometimes even flirting at each other in public just for shits and giggles.
"..I miss Dazai-san.. when will he come back?.. it's been 6 days, almost a week.."
Atsushi frowned, maybe they really did something together afterall?.. he didnt want to believe Yosano-san's words, but.. that's one of the most possible scenario! Why else would the two took their time for so long if not for.. for.. ah, it feels weird to even think about it-
'having sex?'
While he didn't see his mentor as someone who can get laid- no offense, the option become more and more likely to happen every second and he didn't know how to feel about it.
He didn't even know that Dazai-san and Ranpo-san were dating until 3 weeks ago! He just thought that they were close friends or something.. how can he call himself a 'detective' if he can't figure that out? Dazai-san said that it's okay, but Ranpo-san said that 'it was so obvious'! And when he asked about them to others, he realized that he's the only one who hadn't known about it!
...
"..Oh, Ranpo and Dazai? Yeah, they were a thing, why?"
"..Mr.Dazai? Oh! yeah! I heard that he is with Mr.Ranpo! But in.. what does city folk call it again?.. ah! 'romantic' way!"
"That stupid Waste of Bandages- Ah.. unfortunately, yes. Those two can be very annoying sometimes, I think I might start having grey hairs early just by seeing them.."
"..Kyouka knew about that, Kyouka saw them kissing once."
Even Kyouka knew! And he joined the agency way earlier than her!
Why can't he figure that out? Is he really that stupid? What's next? Ranpo-san and Dazai-san actually have a child?-
"Hello everyone!~ we're back!"
Dazai waved cheerfully. Followed by Ranpo who is busy chewing something, probably sweets, and..
A black haired little girl?..
All of the agency member's eyes, save for the president who is upstairs, is now locked at the newcomer. They never seen this kid before, by the looks of it, she seems to be very young. Around 3 to 5, maybe?
Oh dear, please don't tell that what Atsushi think is true.
"Uh.. Dazai-san? Is that your and Ranpo-san's child?"
Atsushi blurted. Causing the room to be filled by the akward silence for a few seconds, maybe even minutes. As it feels like a long time. They continue to stare at the little girl, who looks very confused.
"Dada, why all of these strange people staring at Ame in a weird way? Did Ame do something wrong?"
The little girl turned around, crimson eyes meet with honey-brown, the one that belonged to a certain brown haired detective.
"..I told you bringing her here is not a good idea-"
Dazai hissed at Ranpo, who just rolled his eyes. The black haired man didn't seem to care much at the heavy tension in the room, or the presence of the girl. Instead, he act like his usual self, as if nothing out of ordinary happened, and called the president.
"Shacchou!"
After a while, a footstep can be heard. Coming all the way downstairs, revealing The President, still in his green yukata, stoic expression plastered on his face.
That is until he looks down, his gaze meeting the black haired girl.
"..I suppose this is the famous 'Ame-chan' that both of you keep talking about?"
The President questioned, though his view is still on the girl. His lips curled up, showing a soft, tiny smile.
The little girl's eyes perked up by that. Beaming, running towards The President at full speed, hugging the old man tight with her tiny little arms. The President is slightly surprised by the gesture, but returned them nonetheless.
"Uwahh!!! You Know Ame! Wait- wait.. let Ame guess.. You're Yukichi-Jii, right?! Yukichi-Jii looks alot cooler in person!"
Before the little girl can ramble more about whatever that is inside of her mind, Dazai approached her, and pulling her away from The President gently. While Ranpo swallowed the sweet that he had been munched on, grinning.
"Ame-chan.. you know that it's rude to just come towards someone like that, right?"
"Ehh?? Ame knew that! But it's Yukichi-Jii!!"
The little girl tried to reasoned with the man, who only sighed, shaking his head fondly as he patted her head.
"Yes, yes. That's right, but it's still impolite to do so."
The little girl pouted at the answer she gets, quietly disagreeing with Dazai's words. By the looks of it, she's almost ready to throw a taper tantrum- which would destroy the slight ease that the President managed to create in the air, and before that can happen, Ranpo stepped up. Coming near the girl to continue Dazai's words from earlier.
"-Plus! Ame-chan still haven't introduced herself to others! Which is veery rude~ did Ame know that these people,"
Ranpo points the Detective Agency members who were previously staring at the girl, pulling the little girl close while still maintaining his signature grin.
"-Were Papa and Dada's Cool Coworkers? They're the one who help Papa and Dada at their cool work! It would be a shame if Ame at least didn't give them her name~"
Ranpo teased the little girl, then turned around, sending a cheeky smirk at Dazai, who answered the gesture with a glare.
The little girl's eyes went wide at the mention of 'Cool Work', scanning all of the members from head to toe. Atsushi had to admit that the feel a little uncomfortable by her staring at him as if he was an exotic animal in the zoo, but shes still small, judging by her height and action, so the white haired man let it pass.
And The man-tiger was probably right anyway about this kid being Ranpo-san and Dazai-san's familiar anyway. While it's not confirmed yet, He didn't want to challenge the two detectives by upsetting her, because if it turns out to be true..
...nevermind. He would like to stay safe from their wrath, thank you very much.
"UWAH!! Really?? Why did Papa didn't tell Ame sooner? Ame failed to make a good first impression now! Now Papa and Dada's coworkers will hate Ame forever!-"
She whined, her cheeks reddened a bit, probably due to embarrassment. Little droplets of tears can be seen in the corner of her eyes, waiting to for them to fall and wetting her entire face, possibly her own clothes too.
Before that can happen though, Dazai hugged the girl, in an attempt to calm her down.
"Shh.. it's okay, Ame-chan. It's okay.. just because it isn't exactly.. Ideal to them, there's always another chance!"
The brunette smiles softly, holding both of the little girl's hands close.
"While first Impressions did matter, it's not really the case in here. Right? "
As the cold words finally registered to all of the members who are present, they nod, though some are slower than the others, agreeing with Dazai's words.
"Mhm! Do not worry! Everyone is nice in here!"
"W-well.. even though it's true that first impression is one of the most vital thing according to my Ideals, You're still a child. So I didn't really expect you to follow everything in the right way, I guess.."
"I must say that your sudden arrival did shock us a little.. but it's not that big of a deal, Darling. Just because you didn't go all proper and polite, doesn't mean that the world will end early."
The little girl blinked at the responses, trying to wipe her tears. Atsushi can see that the words spoken towards her were helping, as she seems to be touched by them.
"Really..?"
The girl turn her head around, facing dazai once again. Begging for the brown haired detective's answer on the matter just to make sure that what she heard was right.
Dazai hummed.
"-Now! Since Ame-chan already got the answer she needed, its time for a re-do! Even though Ame-chan's first is a biggie fail, Ame-chan can try again! With an Introduction as to who Ame-chan is, this time!~"
Ranpo suddenly declared, breaking the emotional moment between the little girl and Dazai. It took a good few seconds of the girl to get what The black haired Detective is trying to say, then letting out a small gasp saying 'right!', realizing that she was so deep in her emotional state earlier that she forgot to tell everyone her name- or at least her name in the right way, not counting the way that she referring herself in a third person.
She looked at the Agency members, then at the pair. Before any seeds of doubt can grow and slow the girl down, Ranpo pulling out a thumbs up, along with Dazai giving her an encouraging nod.
"..Go on, sweetie."
A few seconds passed in silence after that word was uttered. The little girl took a breath, facing the Members as she tried to form a similar grin like Ranpo's. Confidence is a key!
"..Hallo! Ame's name is Edogawa-Dazai Ame! But You can call Ame.. well, Ame!"
"Ame is four, and Ame likes playing with her friends, Especially Mr.Duckie! Uh- Ame think that's all Ame can say about herself!"
'Edogawa-Dazai?..'
"..good Job, Ame-chan! And to answer Atsushi's Question. It is right that she is our Child. We just adopted Ame-chan a year ago."
...
Yep, it's confirmed.
"You and Ranpo.. Adopted a kid..?"
Kunikida stared in disbelief. Atsushi didn't blame him to act such, as the whole situation feels like a fever dream.
The two Detectives? Ranpo Edogawa and Osamu Dazai? Those who were slacking at work for most of the time, actually had a little kid? Who was seem to be healthy and well too at that? Yep, that sounds Impossible to achieve, yet here they are.
At least The President knows about the girl, not keeping everyone in the dark. But still..
The girl still stood there, taken aback by Kunikida's previous word, waiting for something to happen. Her previous grin is now faltered, replaced with a nervous frown that made Atsushi's heart drop.
They making her feel bad again, didn't they?.. The girl looks like that she was so close to having a breakdown. Someone should say something to break the silence, but no one did so. Hell, Atsushi couldn't even bring himself to open his mouth! Screw about The girl's first impression, they're the ones who acted badly in the first place. They should apologize, Maybe give her a hug-
"Ame-Chan? What a pretty name! City folks is really creative.. I'm Kenji! It is nice to meet you Ame-chan!"
The blond haired boy smiled cheerfully, as he approach the girl- no, she has a name, right.. Ame.. and hold both of her hands, a welcoming gesture.
Ame's eyes widen, body went stiff by the action, but it then melted down, now vibrating happily like a ball of joy, as the little girl start to shake both of their hands nonstop like an excited toddler.
Well, she is an excited toddler, It must be freeing for her to finally able to talk to one of them without wary after the tense air that she unknowingly created.
A few minutes later, Kyouka joined, patting Ame's hair softly who giggled in response of the touch. She then stopped her 'hand-shaking' activities, and instead opening her mouth to talk about.. probably anything that the litte girl has in mind, while the blond boy and the former assassin listened wholeheartedly.
Atsushi silently thank Kenji and Kyouka for calming the girl down.
As the admittedly adorable scene continues, Atsushi looks up, and was met with Dazai's deathly smile, and Ranpo's amused look.
It took a while for the white haired boy to realize that the gaze was not only directed to him, but rather the whole Agency besides The President who already leave the room, and Kyouka along with Kenji who is busy indulging on Ame's rants about.. Plushies..? Toys..?
"..Ame already did her part right. Now.. would you all do the same? She's not the only one who messed up afterall.."
He can hear Tanizaki gulped at that. He didn't remember his Mentor being all terrifying like this..
Well, theres no way out of it now.
Hey, At least now he can try to fix the stupid, horrible, and inappropriate stunt that he thrown at the little girl. Because while Ame's appearance at the Detective Agency is so sudden and unannounced, he thinks that they all can react better than that.
..Plus, the man-tiger would be more than eager to get to know about His Mentor's daughter. She is adorable, though hopefully she's not as mischievous as her parents. Atsushi would cry in despair the sweet Ame turned out to be such..