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Suletta Mercury is alone. She can’t breathe. There’s nothing but darkness around her. Calibarn isn’t with her, Aerial isn’t with her, no one was with her. She looks around, her head whipping left and right, up and down, to look for anything, anything that has a sign of life.
But there’s nothing. There’s only darkness, the void, the endless gloom and dullness that covered the entire place. It was only her. She’s alone. She’s alone. She’s alone.
She fought long and hard to protect those she loved, to protect those she admired. Even if it was her own family. And she ends up being alone.
“No..” She choked out, feeling tears pool in her eyes. “No, no no no.” She gasped out, growing distressed at the sudden isolation. She’s alone. She’s alone and she’s going to die here, alone in this silent space with darkness stretching out to the ends of the galaxy.
She’s going to face her impending doom knowing she’s alone.
“Miorine–” She cried. “Eri–” Her eyes darted around everywhere, searching in hopes there would be a light that would shine on her and force her out of this obscure space. “Mom!” She yelled, finally bursting into tears.
No one can hear her. No one can see her. She’s alone.
Suletta Mercury is alone.
There are hands around her, grasping on her suit, grabbing her shoulders, shaking her frantically.
Suletta Mercury can’t hear anything. She can’t see anything. She can’t taste anything, not even her own spit. She can’t feel anything other than the desperate and tight grip on her shoulders.
Then she feels something bump on her. It gently thumped against the glass of her astronautics. It was enough to wake her.
Slowly, she cracked one eye open. And still, that was hard to do.
Her vision is blurred. There’s someone in front of her, hovering over her, holding her, looking at her with an expression that she can’t see. She blinks, trying to regain focus.
“Miss.. Miorine?”
Her voice is raspy. Her mouth is dry. She doesn’t like how the name left her lips so roughly when she had always called that beautiful name with so much care and exuberance.
Then Miorine, beautiful and determined, Miorine Rembran, cries even more before a smile tugged on her lips almost immediately. “Answer me sooner,” Miorine sighed, tears springing out of the corner of her eyes as a wave of relief washed over her. “You idiot.” She pulls Suletta into her arms, hugging her, trying to feel the warmth she cherished and craved so much ever since they had been separated.
The moment Miorine’s voice echoed in her ear, she couldn’t help but flash a weak smile. The girl’s presence was enough to comfort her. If she wasn’t feeling so lightheaded, she would’ve hugged back.
Suddenly, the permet marks on her face glowed and an excruciating pain ran through her entire body. She chokes, feeling her sore muscles tighten up. She threw her head back and screamed, the sensation becoming overwhelming.
She can feel her insides burning, her organs melting at the heat. It scalded her enough to feel like she was on fire. Her lips part and she began to breathe in and out, frantically trying to swallow oxygen but nothing was working. The pain grew worse and worse until it became unbearable.
She breathes.
In, out, in, out, in, out–
She’s standing somewhere. It was a familiar place. She was sure she’s been here before, but she can’t pinpoint it.
“The door is open.”
Suletta blinks. She looks up and finds all the repli-children floating in the air with smiles on their faces. They looked so carefree, like they’ve never been exposed to the dangers and cruelty of the world.
“We don’t need the key anymore.”
No. No. You can’t– I already did this–
“The key is you, Suletta.”
No. We did this already. Please, you can’t–
“I thought we were–” No matter how much she tried to speak up, to explain, to ask why this was happening again. Why were they reminding her that she’s just another child who took in Ericht Samaya’s genes?
“Eri can only live inside the data storm, so you filled in for her.”
One of the children spoke.
“Eri has no physical form, so you filled in for her.”
Suletta looks up and finds one of the children floating above her with their arms spread out.
“Eri’s body, her arms and legs, her extended consciousness..”
“That’s us, the Children of the Coven.”
Abject fear was written all over Suletta’s expression. They were explaining this to her again. They were reminding her of what had happened, how much pain she had kept in so that she wouldn’t bother any of her friends, how much she had tried to look upbeat and take all of what happened well enough to look convincing–
“But it’s fine now! Quiet Zero will create a world where Eri can live!” One of them exclaimed.
“So we don’t need you anymore, Suletta!”
We don’t need you anymore.
We don’t need you.
Her arms shot out to hold herself, a visceral scream ripping from her throat at the pain and anguish. Her knees grow weak and she falls. She can’t breathe. She can’t breathe .
It hurts. It hurts so bad.
The permet marks travelled all the way to the tip of her ears, glowing red. A sliver of rage slips into her for a moment and her erratic breathing turns into helpless gasps of air but oxygen doesn’t enter her lungs. She’s suffocating.
Why are you doing this to me? I thought we were okay. I thought you were on my side?
Eri. Eri, why?
Eri floats towards her with a gentle smile. “Suletta.” She called. “You can go.” And with a touch of her small finger on her nose, the place Suletta finds herself is a different scenery.
She’s sitting in Aerial’s cockpit, she’s wearing the suit of the Holder, her helmet is in her hands and she’s looking up at Miorine who stared down at her with stoicism on her face. A wave of indifference washed over her features.
Suletta knows this. This moment has repeated in her head more times than she can count. She finds herself struggling to stay calm now that she was reliving this memory.
“I wanted you to lose.”
Suletta’s lips trembled when she hears Miorine’s voice.
“I told you from the beginning, didn’t I? This was a trade.”
Suletta’s heart rammed out of her chest. Bile rose to her throat and acid scratched harshly against her skin, pleading to come out, to expose the venom.
“You made a good shield.”
We made up. We made up, I swear. I never blamed you. I never blamed you one bit, Miorine.
But it hurt. It still hurts even when they had a long talk when they reunited. Their mutual trust with each other was so strong that it didn’t have to be spoken aloud.
Suletta doesn’t understand. She never held any ill feelings against Miorine. She would never hold anger nor resentment against her bride, but it hurts. It’s like an old wound had been ripped open by a knife, like an aching reminder of what had happened.
You did this for my own good.
She stares at Miorine, tears finally escaping her eyes.
You did this to protect me.
Still, Suletta hated this. She hated this so much.
She hated how Miorine had insinuated that everything about them was only a job, an obligation to hold the end of each other’s deal – that the relationship they had built along the way was just another thing that had happened because it was supposed to happen for the sake of the situation.
It awakened the deep seeded fear of being unwanted and being discarded so easily like she meant nothing to them, to her.
She looks at Miorine for another minute. She knows how much Miorine hated doing this to her, how much she hated being the cause of Suletta’s pain when she was the one who swore to protect her.
I never blamed you.
“Goodbye, my Mercurian country bumpkin.”
Suletta screams.
Her throat tightens up and her vision blurs.
“Miorine!” She cried out, delirious with pain. Her fangs flaring back her lips every time she called out her bride’s name. She can’t breathe. She felt like a stake had plunged into her throat and cut off her airways. The unending torture on her body is making her lethargic. She looks down at her hands and finds permet marks glowing an angry red.
“Suletta!”
She feels like there’s a sword in her mouth, she prays that she won’t choke on it. It’s threatening to cut her tongue, to make her bleed on all the cuts. A Lance spears through her lungs.
Grief hits her like a tide in the ocean. It drowns her and she can’t get her head above the water.
“Suletta, stay with me!”
She blinks. Miorine was in front of her, closer this time. She looks scared. A look of trepidation was written on her face. She gazed into the young president’s eyes. A pang of pain struck her heart when she saw fear and worry crashing within the silver and white, the embodiment of Mercury that was put in her eyes.
The presence of this terrifying revelation made her sick.
Miorine.. Why are you crying?
Miorine was tugging at her arm, bringing her somewhere.
She doesn’t remember this. This never happened.
Her throat was sore from all the screaming.
The ocean water fills her ears, filling the drums, deafening her. She wants to scratch at her own throat but she can’t get a single word out.
She doesn’t remember Miorine helping her out, she doesn’t remember being placed into a mobile suit’s robotic hands, she doesn’t remember gasping for air and convulsing, she doesn’t remember seeing Miorine cry so much, her voice spiking in the intercom headset, saying things that she can’t seem to make out.
“ – letta Mercury!”
Her throat tightened up. And suddenly, there’s lava everywhere, burning, scalding, blazing, like a scorching rage that flickered on her skin. She feels like someone had shoved their hand through her chest, squeezed it, and pulled it out of her body, displaying it for anyone to have the opportunity to stomp on it.
The blood-curdling scream she let out sounded like a dull roar in her ears.
With an exhale, her breath fogs up the glass, covering the venomous mercury that exposed Miorine from the shallow cruelty of how her people treated her back at her planet, of how the students in Asticassia looked down on her and how they deliberately targeted her and subjected her to harsh treatment for simply being her.
“ – Mercury!”
“-- Letta!”
“Suletta!”
Suletta bids goodbye. She bids goodbye to her beloved planet, to the people that resided there and would sometimes take care of her out of pity for what happened to her mom. She bids goodbye to her mother, Prosepra Mercury, Elnora Samaya, she bids goodbye to the woman who took care of her and raised her with love and adoration despite being a genetic replica of her real daughter.
She bids goodbye to Aerial, to Ericht Samaya, her sister, her companion, the one who played as a barrier between her and the data storm whenever she piloted, the one who had been at her side and has been with her since the start. The one who had joined forces with Miorine to help save her from what their mom was planning.
She bids goodbye to Earth House, her friends, those who had willingly helped her with Aerial and guided her through school when she was new, those who had accepted her and welcomed her when she wasn’t even an Earthian.
She bids goodbye to Miorine Rembran. The girl who reciprocated her love and dedication, who accepted and loved her. Who took the first step to protect her from all watchful eyes that scrutinized and looked down on her condescendingly. The girl who has gone through a lot to protect her, the girl who had desperately tried to break her free from her mother’s grasp. Her bride .
“Suletta don’t you dare!”
The kind eyes that peered through Miorine’s soul finally closed.
–
Miorine Rembran adores Suletta Mercury more than anyone could.
She admires how Suletta’s kind eyes are enough to make her shudder.
She admires how Suletta’s lips would curl upward even to the most little things and details that no one would usually notice.
She admires how respectful and patient Suletta was, how her patience stretches of a saint.
She admires how despite Suletta’s gentle touch on her skin was a comforting balm to her wounds, both that were seen and unseen.
She admires how Suletta tries to live a simple way, day by day, how easily impressed she is when introduced to nature. How she immediately got used to tending to the tomatoes in the greenhouse.
She admires how she has to crane her neck to look at Suletta and how Suletta would be confused why she’s struggling so much to do so and ask whether she’s tall when she easily towers over her.
She admires how Suletta never looked down at her.
She admires how Suletta has never gotten angry despite everything that had happened to her. Things that were out of her control, things that she shouldn’t be blamed for, and instead took the time to learn and understand why it happened.
She admires how Suletta is an ocean whose emotions are uncontainable, overwhelming, strong, and indestructible – how she was never afraid to express them wholeheartedly with no hesitation.
She admires how Suletta pointed out the little things whenever she only saw the big picture.
She admires how the girl who maims other mobile suits with ease during duels isn’t carved out like a god. She admires the surprise she felt when she curled up with Suletta that one specific night and laid her head on her soft tummy.
She admires how the frosty walls that had been carefully built, forged, and crafted to protect and hide the vulnerability she refuses to show to anyone had easily been phased through. How the lid she had on her strong emotions had been uncapped and drawn back out. How the heat of planet Mercury warmed and melted the ice from the inside, all had been done by Suletta.
At some point, the admiration and respect she holds for Suletta became her first suffocating love. She felt full, content. She was hit with how big and altruistic it truly is and she couldn’t even act on it.
The day Miorine Rembran met Suletta Mercury was the day she started dreaming.
“Your eyes are so pretty. It reminds me of my homeland.” Suletta’s words echoed in her ear the night they were sleeping. “.. I’m smitten.”
Suletta’s eyes that always looked like deep pools of inner calm. Suletta’s eyes, that Miorine wished deep down would turn to raging storms of turmoil and existential hunger for the way she’s been treated all this time, finally closed.
Miorine’s heart comes to a stop.
She stares.
“Suletta?” She whispered.
Suletta had gone still in her arms. Unmoving.
“Suletta?!”
She grabs Suletta, winding her arm around the pilot’s waist and floats her way up to the cockpit of the mobile suit, growing frantic at the lack of response from the girl. She sat down on the seat, placing Suletta to her side before she started the system and made her way back to the ship.
“Suletta Mercury, don’t you dare.” She seethed through gritted teeth. She can feel her heart thumping out of her chest in fear. She feels paralyzed, but she can’t, she can’t falter now, not when she has Suletta.
The system almost overheats with how fast she was moving through space. She can’t risk another minute. She can’t slack off. Her groom’s life was in her hands.
“Suletta.” She called out when the ship entered her field of vision. “Suletta, are you there?” She asks in hopes to get a reply.
“Suletta, come on.” She continued, praying, begging, to get some sort of answer.
The thought of coming back to the ship with a dead groom makes her want to curl over and vomit. The thought of living a life without Suletta Mercury who has changed her perspective of all things was sickening. It makes her crumble to her knees, looking up at someone that no longer existed.
“Suletta.”
She can still hear Suletta’s agonizing screams. She can still her grunts and choked gasps when each angry glow of the permet marks burnt her skin. The sound echoes in her ears over and over again and she feels like it triggered her fight-or-flight response.
Her fingers curled around the handle a bit more tighter, a rush of adrenaline washed over her and she flew even faster, hoping she wasn’t too late and that Suletta didn’t die in her arms.
“I..” She says. She has no clue what to say. She has no clue how to react. She feels afraid, panicked, terrified. Her legs tightened, fear threatening to petrify her. She can hear her own heart prance.
“Suletta,” she called, trying to strike a conversation thinking it would wake the girl. “When– When’s your birthday? You never mentioned it to me before.” Her voice is wet, tears are streaming down her cheeks like waterfall. Her body trembles.
She can’t imagine a life without Suletta Mercury.
Because the world could be ending, she’s caught in crossfire, and Suletta’s mere existence would diffuse the tension.
Suletta Mercury is her guiding light.
Suletta Mercury is the manifestation of passion.
And the thought of that light dimming until it’s dead would tear her apart until she’s nothing but a shell filled with resentment. The feelings that she pushed down, the emotions that she had a hard time identifying and acknowledging as a result of her constantly compacting it, would boil.
She grits her teeth, her jaw clenching, and a vein pops.
She’s not losing Suletta.
I believe in my groom.
As long as she’s well and alive, nothing is taking her wife away from her.
It didn’t take long for her to reach the ship and yell out for medical assistance.
Suletta was in her arms, unconscious, the permet marks never stopped glowing. The others, Nika, Chuchu, Martin, ran towards her, surprised to see Suletta in such a vulnerable and weakened state.
“What–” One of them stammered, gaze glued on the pilot. They’ve never seen Suletta like this before, unmoving to the point where she seems dead. Her chest wasn’t heaving up and down, and the fog on the glass of her helmet covered what she looked like, only the angry gleam of the permet showed the weak sign of life.
“Suletta, she–”
Miorine doesn’t want to hear it. She clutched onto Suletta’s suit tighter, her knuckles white. She doesn’t want to hear them say it. She refuses to believe whatever comes out of their mouths that regards her groom as anything but alive.
“She’s not dead.” She seethed through gritted teeth, rage lacing her tone, her red, puffy eyes dripping with spite. “Suletta isn’t dead.” She repeated as if to prove her point when in reality, it sounded like she was trying to convince herself.
“She’s not dead.” Nika nodded but the worried expression on her face said otherwise.
“Suletta exceeded Permet Score 8.” Belmeria interrupted, approaching the group. “She’s the only one capable of raising Eri’s score.”
“Well then help me save her, goddamn it!” Miorine stressed. Tears threatened to escape her eyes again in frustration. They were stalling time instead of helping Suletta who could be dying right now.
They acted quickly, helping Miorine bring Suletta in the medical bay where she was laid on a flat clinic bed. Her astronautics was immediately taken off, giving her more room to breathe, and the moment it was off, the whole room grew silent.
The permet marks devoured almost all of Suletta’s face. It flared a wrathful scarlet ruby, almost as if it was determined to take her, to kill her like all the other Gundam pilots.
“Open her suit.” Belmeria instructed, taking a deep breath, trying to gather her senses back together as she kept calm and collected, thinking of how she should assist Suletta.
Miorine wastes no time to obey. She grabs the zipper and pulls it open. The light of the marks pierced through Suletta’s orange shirt. The streaks ran down her arms like lichtenberg scars, smudging on her skin like it was paint.
Miorine’s breathing grew heavy the more she stared.
“What’s wrong, Ms. Miorine?”
Miorine blinks. She blinked profusely and looked up to see Suletta standing in front of her with a smile on her face.
“Why are you crying?”
“S-Suletta..”
Suletta tilts her head slightly to the side, appearing confused and clueless. “Ms. Miorine?” She calls out once more. “Why’re you crying?” Miorine wiped her cheek with the back of her hand and was surprised to see a wet patch on her skin.
“I..” She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re okay!” She exclaimed, stretching her hand out for Suletta to take.
Suletta stares at her hand like it was something unfamiliar. Miorine paused.
“Suletta?”
Blue eyes flickered towards her. “Why does that matter?” Suletta asked, her voice airy and empty, it sounded isolating. “Why does it matter if I’m okay?”
“What? What are you saying?” Miorine asked, worry and fear creeping into her voice. She doesn’t know why Suletta was asking her that question when the answer was obvious.
“You abandoned me.”
Miorine stares.
She inspected Suletta. How her hair was down and messy, how her eyes that were usually lit up with happiness was replaced by the dull insubstantial feeling, how the permet marks glowered over her that was enough to come off as intimidating.
Suletta looked so small.
She’s wearing the student Asticassia uniform instead of the Holder’s.
“You abandoned me.” Suletta repeated. “Then Eri abandoned me.” Suletta takes a step forward. “And mom abandoned me.” Miorine retreated while the Mercurian advanced towards her with big tentative steps, the closer she got the more Miorine’s heart whacked against her ribcage.
“I came from the depths of hell following everything that was told, that was asked of me. I did everything just to please and have some sort of freedom.”
Miorine continued to back away until her back came in contact with the wall. She froze, her breath hitched at the sight of Suletta looking down at her like she was lower than dirt.
“Abandoning me? For my sake? To protect me?” Miorine’s lips trembled.
“Did you ever stop and think for a moment about what I feel? About what I want? Why are you all making choices for me?!”
“I-I didn’t– Suletta, I didn’t abandon you–”
“Am I just a pawn? In you and mom’s game? Just a pawn to be sacrificed to save the galaxy?” Miorine watched Suletta’s curtain of long, red hair glare against the blinding light.
“And what if that was a fail? What if I didn’t make it past Score Five? Will you all deny my existence for being a failure?”
Miorine shakes her head, dyeing all of Suletta’s claims almost immediately. “No! No it’s not like that, I swear–”
“Then why? Why did you do it without consulting me?”
Miorine doesn’t answer, she can’t answer. She doesn’t know what to say.
“Do I mean so little to you that you discarded me so easily? Do you think my life is cheaper because I’m a clone? Or is it because I’m a Gundam pilot? Which of the two is it?”
“ None of those.” Miorine choked out. “I didn’t– I didn’t leave you. I didn’t abandon you, I just had to make sure you weren’t bound to Prospera.” She spoke, trying to desperately explain and send her point across. But the feeling was suffocating, the way Suletta looked so angry was suffocating that she didn’t know what to do anymore.
Suletta looks at her silently, her piercing gaze penetrating through Miorine like a sharp blade intendending to shed blood.
“ Liar .”
Miorine’s heart sinks down to the bottom of the ocean.
“Suletta–”
“ You’re such a liar. ”
“That’s not true.” Miorine tries to weakly defend herself. “I’m being honest, Suletta, trust me. I’m not lying, I did this for you.”
“And because of your missteps I had to carry the weight of it.” Suletta shot back. “Because of your missteps, I had to suffer through the pain for your sake.” She pulls back her sleeves, revealing the permet marks that seemed to have melted her smooth skin. “This. This is a direct result of your doing and you’re saying you did this for me?”
Bile rose to Miorine’s throat. She’s about to vomit. Something about the way Suletta looked at her made her sick. Something about the sight of the permet marks that she inflicted made her sick to her stomach.
“This is all your fault.”
Suletta bares her fangs.
“Sule–”
Miorine jolted awake. Her body’s violent movement drew out a groan from her lips.
She looked around, realizing that she was in the same room where Suletta was resting in. When she turned her head to the hospital bed, her eyes widened when there’s no sign of a Mercurian laying there.
“Suletta.” She whispered, beginning to frantically look around to where the girl could be. “What–?” She rises from her seat, leaving the room to check the halls and finds no soul lingering. She glances back at the bed, startled and confused when Suletta was still laying there unconscious, eyes sealed shut.
She sighs, making her way to the redhead, her lips trembling at the sight of her fiance in such a state.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered quietly, wanting nothing but to reach out to her and hold her. But she doubts that’s going to happen anytime soon. At least Suletta’s vitals were stable, that was good enough for her. She can see the permet marks everywhere, so many scars tainting her body – all over her arms, her legs, her neck, her face, everywhere.
“Suletta,” she calls gently despite knowing she won’t receive an answer. “How.. are you still so bright?” Her lips quivered the more she stared. There’s something about Suletta’s radiance and unadulterated kindness that remained suppressed in her unmoving body that struck Miorine’s heart.
That strong permet score without prior exposure was a bad idea. It was a bad idea and she should’ve tried harder to look for an alternative instead of letting Suletta put herself in grave danger. She should’ve done better, she should’ve done more .
“Wake up.” She whispers. “Please, wake up.”
Her arm stretches out and her hand softly paws at Suletta’s scarred skin. “You could be bed bound or paralyzed or have to use a wheelchair or a cane or anything else and I promise I’ll take care of you.” Her hand glides towards the marks, her fingers tracing every outline. This is the closest they have been to each other ever since she had almost lost Suletta in the cockpit.
Miorine continued to stare, continued to trace her fingers around, studying and learning more of the girl who loved her. The endless disbelief that she could be loved like this by someone who she first saw as a shield who ended up converting into someone she was dead set on marrying.
Suletta Mercury who is Miorine’s antithesis. Suletta Mercury who is docile and kind. Suletta Mercury is patient. And she loves her.
“I love you.” The words fell out of her mouth.
Suletta still lays unconscious and unmoving, the quiet sound of her steady heartbeat in the EKG monitor that detected her pulse is the only thing that could be heard in the quiet room paired with Miorine’s shaky breaths.
Somehow, the words didn’t feel like it fell on deaf ears.