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As I walked back into a town I left years ago, it felt like I never left. A rush of nostalgia hit me, it was bitter sweet, especially when I saw a barren yard with a rickety frame and sun washed colors. A memory clearer than water came to my mind from when I was fourteen. It was Miss Lottie’s house. It still looked the exact same like it was ripped from my memories. John Burke still sat in front of the house, it looked more like a shack now, rocking in his chair. I walked forward and my mouth felt more dry than it even did in the hot dry summers.
I reached the door. It took a thousand years for my hand to reach it to knock. It took a million more for the door to swing open. Miss Lottie was looking at me now I knew she recognized me, it was always a small town. I took a breath,” Miss Lottie? I know you might not know who I am but I’m here to apologize.”
Miss Lottie scrutinized me for a moment before she spoke. “I know you,Lizabeth.”
“So you know why I am here to apologize?” I felt my heart beat faster. I didn’t have a plan for this. I just saw her house with its barren yard and knew I had to apologize. Maybe I could offer to replant some marigolds or buy more?
“That’s a lot to apologize for.” Miss Lottie’s voice was still cold to me. And at her words I remember all the other awful things I did to her before I destroyed her beautiful marigolds. All the cruel taunts, rocks thrown,and bothering poor John Burke, her son.
“Yes. Yes, it is.” I replied soberly, all the shame from five years ago filled my mind once more. “I know that everything we- I did as a teen was cruel to you and John… but if you're willing I would like to make it up to you now,” I held my breath waiting for her response.
She nodded at me while she didn’t speak I felt like her cold tone shifted a little warmer. As she stepped out I realized I didn’t truly know how I was going to do so. “What do you want me to do? I can get you more marigolds or even multiple types of flowers.” I felt the need to make it up to her even more now.
“Let’s start there, go get me more marigolds.”I nodded quickly at her request. I’m sure if eleven or twelth year old me saw this they would freak back then I could never imagine even talking in a civil way to Miss Lottie. She waved me away and I started walking along the old dusted road.
Once I had got the flowers I paused it felt like too little. How could just replacing the only beauty in her life fix destroying it five years earlier. I grabbed a bag of wild flowers, too , an extra apology for everything. I couldn’t stop myself from also grabbing gardening tools too. It would make it easier when she didn’t have help.
I hurried back and Miss Lottie was next to John with a sad look in her eye. She spotted me and walked over to a dusty looking flower bed with shriveled up grass in it. I took a gulp of air I hadn’t realized I was holding in till I got closer. Stones still littered the flower beds. I held out the seeds awkwardly in front of me, tools held under my arm. Miss Lottie kneeled down, clearing out the shriveled grass dotting little holes in the soil for the seeds.
I moved up next to her, moving torn up grass and placing seeds in the little hole. We worked in silence slowly the pit of guilt and shame in my stomach unraveled as we worked on. The sun was setting as the last seed was placed in its hole. I never directly spoke the words I’m sorry to Miss Lottie for what I did. I did it in my actions, but I can only hope my actions spoke enough.
A few months later I come back to my old town. Now I feel less heavy as I walk down the dusted road. I smile as I pass Miss Lottie’s house. The golden flowers wave to me in the wind with new ones joining in. Even if the words were never shared an apology was made and accepted. As I passed I saw a sight I had never seen before as Miss Lottie smiled at me as I passed. A new bond now grew with the flowers another beautiful spot in the dusty worn out town.