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“Where’s Usopp?” Sanji asked as he placed a plate of freshly made pancakes on the table, which was quickly snatched up by Luffy. He pulled out his chair to sit down with the rest of the crew.
Zoro cleared his throat from the mouthful of food he had just eaten. “He said he wasn’t feeling well so he’s sleeping in.” He explained, taking a long chug of booze.
Sanji frowned. Looks like Usopp’s portion was going to Luffy. “Not feeling well? Should we be worried?” Sanji asked as he snuffed out his cigarette.
“Don’t worry!” Luffy said around a mouth full of food. “He said he just needed to sleep it off!” He shouted nonchalantly, spitting chunks of pancake out onto the table as he spoke.
“Luffy, don’t speak with your mouth full it's disgusting.” Nami groaned. “And also, let’s hope he just needs to sleep it off. If it’s something serious we’re gonna be in real trouble without a ship's doctor.” Nami pointed out as she popped a slice of tangerine into her mouth.
“…Maybe we should go into town and grab some extra medicine just to be safe?” Sanji offered. He’d only been on the ship the least amount of time but he had to admit the health of everyone on board was worrying.
“Oh- I like that idea!” Nami said, smiling at a distant thought as she tapped her chin.
“You’re just saying that because you wanna go shopping.” Zoro said, pointing the end of his fork at Nami accusingly.
“And so what if I do?” Nami shot back with a glare, aggressively biting a piece of pancake off her fork.
“Oh yeah let’s go into town! I’m getting sick of being on deck I wanna stretch my legs for a bit!” Luffy exclaimed, bouncing up and down while swallowing an impossibly large amount of food.
“Fine, it's settled then, we’ll sail to the next town over.” Zoro agreed with a shake of his head, finishing off the last of his bacon.
Sanji cleared his throat. “Actually, I’m gonna stay behind on deck. I’ve got some stuff I need to clean up before dinner.” He explained. He had a lot of plates from last night he didn’t feel like cleaning and he was paying the price for it now.
“Sure whatever.” Nami said with a shrug, moving to stand up, finished with her breakfast.
Sanji shot up. “-Oh let me get that for you Nami-swan!” Sanji doated, quickly taking the dirty plate from Nami, who thanked him over her shoulder as she exited the galley.
“Yeah take mine too while you’re at it cook.” Zoro said, waving his plate towards Sanji, who scowled.
“Do it yourself lazy ass.” Sanji shot back curtly, making Zoro glare and Luffy burst out laughing.
After breakfast was long since said and done, the crew had sailed to a small island, that hopefully wouldn’t recognize them. Sanji, true to his word, stayed on the ship, washing the plates and pans. He started with the ones from breakfast first, waiting to do the more gross pans from last night last. There was a reason why he put off cleaning them until now.
He peeked his head out the small window, looking at the port and into town. He was a little disappointed that he had to stay on board but the view from the ship was really beautiful.
He took a deep breath in through his nose, and out his mouth as his shoulders slumped and untensed. He mindlessly ran his fingers over the smooth ridges of the plate he was washing. What a perfectly peaceful morning.
And then a scream echoed through the ship.
Sanji’s eyes widened, and he nearly dropped the plate he was holding in his haste to dash out of the galley. He whipped around the corner and over the deck. The screaming had stopped but he still hightailed it towards the undeniable source of the sound.
He ripped open the hatch to the men’s quarters and dropped down, but found the room empty. Which was even more worrying because Usopp was nowhere to be seen.
He nervously called out to the empty room. “…Usopp?…” He waited for a response, but got none.
“Usopp was that you? I heard a yell.” He ventured further into the room. He walked up to Usopp’s hammock, inspecting it. The whole thing was twisted around itself like Usopp had been struggling to get out of bed, and his covers were lying on the ground.
Sanji’s eyes widened when he noticed a large stain of red on the blanket. He picked it up and pulled it close to look. It was deep red, and had the unmistakable smell of dried blood.
Sanji felt his stomach drop, and pulse speeding up. His eyes tracked a trail of blood droplets, leading towards the open door to the women’s quarters.
Sanji tried not to feel too invasive as he entered the girls room (Nami’s room), this was strictly for business and to find Usopp. He followed the trail of blood and Usopp's possessions (Usopp’s overall’s- also covered in blood) until he found himself at the door to the bathroom
Sanji took a deep breath as he approached. It could be nothing- just Usopp being stupid and cutting himself somehow. But maybe it’s something so much worse- the signs so far spelled a struggle. Sanji gulped as he knocked on the door lightly with his knuckle.
“...Usopp, you in there?” He asked, raising his voice a bit.
He waited a few ticks before he got a response from the other side of the door in a high pitch. “Y-yes?…”
Sanji let out a breath, putting a hand on his chest. He shook his head, refocusing. “What’s up? I heard a scream.”
There was another long pause. “I’m… fine. Um yeah actually I’m fine! Don’t worry about me- just, had a scary dream!” He insisted, laughing anxiously through the wooden door.
“Usopp don’t lie to me, I saw the blood on the ground.” Sanji said, glancing back over his shoulder. “What’s going on?” He could hear Usopp shifting on the other side of the door, and Sanji moved forward to wiggle the handle.
“Fu- No! ” Usopp shouted frantically, aggressively pulling the door shut with a slam and locking the handle.
“Wha- Usopp the hell?” Sanji shouted in frustration and confusion.
“Look, I'm fine, ok? A-ok. Not in need of any kind of assistance… er, currently…” Usopp insisted, sounding conflicted as he trailed off.
Sanji sighed with a frown, combing his hand through his hair to regain his composure. “Look Usopp, if there's something you need, then I’ll get it for you.” He said through the door, putting a hand on the rough wood. “But I can only help you so much from out here.”
There was a long pause, that lasted maybe a minute too long, and Sanji started to get worried Usopp might have passed out or something- until he heard the sniper's weak voice warble out from the other side of the door.
“Ok… fine, you can come in… but just don’t freak out ok?” He said, his voice cracking nervously as he unlocked the door.
Sanji raised a brow in confusion. “Freak out…?” He mumbled to himself, before hesitantly putting a clammy hand on the doorknob.
Sanji opened the door to quite the sight. Usopp was sitting on the toilet in nothing but his boxers and a t-shirt, arms wrapped tightly around his chest. The toilet seat, Usopp’s thighs, and his hands, were all smeared with blood. Some of it looked dry, while some looked fresh. Wadded up toilet paper was sitting on the ground, also covered in blood. “Woah.” Sanji said dumbly.
“I just woke up like this! It was all over my covers and legs and pants!” Usopp relayed in a shrill voice. “Am I dying?” He shrieked, biting his fingers and looking up at Sanji in despair.
“Calm down.” Sanji said, motioning his hands in between them frantically. “You're not dying… well, probably not.” Sanji added, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Oh god.” Usopp said in a faint voice, putting a hand to his head and leaning back dramatically over the toilet dasin. “This is the end for the great Captain Usopp. Only just started his adventures and he's already going to bleed out in the bathroom of his very own ship. What a cruel fate.”
“Shut up dummy this isn’t even your ship.” Sanji grunted, walking further into the cramped bathroom and closing the door behind him. He picked his box of cigarettes out of his pocket, sliding one out into his hand. He was going to need one for this. “So, what’s your symptoms?” Sanji said around the unlit cigarette.
“Er… I’m all achy, my head is pounding- and my stomach hurts bad… ” Usopp curled in on himself, arms wrapped around his middle and sporting a pained expression.
“Your stomach?” Sanji thought out loud, flicking his lighter closed as he finished lighting the end of his cigarette. “You don’t think it might be internal bleeding do you?” He asked in a concerned tone.
Usopp made a face like he wasn't sure what to say, and Sanji let out a puff of smoke around an uneasy sigh. “Hold on, lemme give you a look. Maybe I can find a source of the bleeding or something.” He stripped off his suit jacket and rolled up his sleeves, throwing the jacket over the side of the tub.
“A look?” Usopp repeated, gulping.
“Yeah a look.” Sanji affirmed as he leaned down on his knees near the toilet. He could see the hesitation in Usopp’s face, as well the clear indication that he was holding his tongue. “I’ll be gentle, ok?” Sanji spoke softly, hands hovering in the air.
Usopp still looked unconvinced, but moved his hands away from his stomach nonetheless. “…I’m not a little kid, I can take a bit of pain.” He insisted, looking away from Sanji.
Sanji smiled fondly before lightly pressing his fingers around Usopp’s skinny stomach, feeling around and waiting for a reaction of pain of some kind. He probed around Usopp’s lower back, and over his legs, fingers grazing over blood and catching on his fingers. Nothing Sanji wasn’t used to, he’d gotten bloody in fights plenty of times.
“Anything?” Sanji asked, hands resting on Usopp’s knees.
Usopp shook his head back and forth a few times as he looked at the wall behind Sanji. “It’s lower, I can't explain where though.”
Sanji paused, processing an idea. “Ok- bare with me here, but....Can you take your boxers off real quick?”
Usopp sputtered, cheeks burning red. “ W-What?!”
“M-maybe the injuries are there.” He explained warily, feeling embarrassment creeping up his throat. “We're both guys, It’s not like I’ve never seen a dick before.” Sanji blurted bluntly.
Usopp was weirdly quiet and still, and when Sanji looked up he refused to make eye contact. “Uh. hypothetical question.” Usopp threaded his hands together, mouth forming a sheepish smile.” What if I was… lacking a dick, would that make this situation more weird or less weird?”
There were a few awful, terrible moments of pure silence. There were absolutely no sounds between them as Sanji blinked up at Usopp once, then twice, then a few more times for good measure.
“Do you not have a dick?”
Usopp’s lips pulled thin. “Maybe…?” He said, stretching the word out.
“Ok.” Sanji paused, holding a hand up. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in through his nose. He then took a long drag off his cigarette, nearly depleting the whole thing, and blowing it out his nose. “Let’s focus on the task at hand. The blood, the injury.”
“Mhm.”
“So you need to take off your boxers.”
“Ok.”
There was a pause again.
“Usopp dont make me ask again!” Sanji yelled, face on fire.
Usopp scrambled for his boxers. “Ok-ok!” He finally pulled them down and let them sit around one of his ankles.
The whole situation had slowly been elevating in an ever increasingly embarrassing way. Usopp’s hands were covering his red face and Sanji was trying to keep a straight face through all this.
He wasn't really used to seeing this- area , of other people's body’s. He’d been taught the basic stuff as a kid about decency and when you are and aren’t allowed to ask to see people's crotches. He wasn’t really sure how to handle this situation though. Zeff never taught him if it was right to look at someone's crotch if they might be injured - though thinking about it, he’d really rather never have that kind of discussion with his old man.
Where Usopp’s dick was meant to be, was a dark mound of flesh surrounded by curly coarse hair. In the curls was a whole heck of a lot of blood. Sanji couldn’t hold back his questions.
“Did you… lose it somehow?”
Usopp peaked his eyes out from behind fingers, looking at Sanji in surprise. “Um.” and then a genuine laugh bloomed up from his chest. Sanji felt his whole face heat up so hot it glowed. He scowled deeply in mortification. “Haha sorry Sanji- it’s just- such a surprising question. I just, I didn’t expect it, ok!” His assurance didn’t seem to make Sanji any less upset.
Sanji ignored the other, instead reaching forward out of curiosity. If Usopp won’t explain it to him he’ll just find out for himself. He swiped his thumb over the area that seemed the most bloody.
Usopp stopped laughing, sucking in a surprised breath through his teeth, face pulling tight in a dazed expression.
“W- what was that?” Sanji asked as he retracted his hand, nervous he might have hurt the other. A huge string of blood stuck to his finger before breaking. Weird he thought, blood isn’t usually so viscous.
“I-I don't know- it felt weird.” Usopp gripped his stomach like he was going to throw up. “Really weird.”
“W-well then this must be the area of the injury right?” Sanji insisted, reaching forward again and pressing his fingers into the hair, trying to push it apart to see what was beneath. Instead, he saw the skin underneath part naturally, like lips on a mouth. “Woah.”
“I-I don’t think that I’m hurt there Sanji…” Usopp mumbled through a hand over his mouth, voice unsteady.
Sanji chewed on his cigarette in thought. “Well wait hold on I think if I just…” He slowly pressed his index finger forward and into the bloody mess.
“Ah-!” Usopp let out a choked moan, his hips jolting forward and into Sanji’s fingers.
Sanji looked up at the sniper in surprise, waiting for him to recover from… whatever Sanji had just done to him.
Usopp’s voice shook as he ran a hand through his hair. “It’s a-always been like this.” Usopp said, making Sanji tilt his head.
“What?”
“D-down there, I’ve never had a dick because I wasn’t born with one.” Usopp rushed out, struggling to get his words out coherently.
Sanji processed the information for a while. In interest, he repeated the motion he had done before and Usopp again let out another choked moan. Sanji felt his pulse speed up and his cock twitch in his pants. “How does that work?” He asked as he continued to explore.
“I-I wan’t really born looking quite- ah - quite right. People used to think I was ahnn… a girl…” He admitted, sounding small.
“…But you're not, right?”
“No.” Usopp said assertively, more steady than any other words he’d said in the last few minutes.
Sanji didn't say anything back. He was having his own moment of internal conflict right now. The way his stomach was churning and his body reaction made him feel nauseous- in a good way, if there was one. Something about the way Usopp was breathing every time his fingers moved- little broken gasphs like he was fighting to get enough air in his lungs. His high pitched whines that made him sound like a begging dog. Sanji was getting lost in it all.
Was this really an injury, he wondered? They're both enjoying this far too much and yet all the blood confused him.
He let his fingers slide up to the top and pressed around curiously. He added his other hand, wanting to get enough of the feeling of the slick skin running over his fingers. He pressed his pointer finger into something a little harder than the rest of the hidden folds, and Usopp cried out like he’d been stabbed. “Ah! Oh god oh god!” He chanted it over and under his breath.
“-How do you feel?” Sanji panted. He needed to know if he was doing something right, what he’d just done, what any of this was really doing to Usopp.
“I-I don't know… Weird.” He whimpered out, squirming on the toilet seat. “It feels so weird but also so-.” Sanji pressed his finger into the nub again, and Usopp lurched forward, tears picking up in his eyes. “-So good!” He repeated the motion over and over again, thighs trembling and spreading, feet kicking aside balled up toilet paper. It was like he was bursting at the seams with energy and didn’t know what to do with it.
Sanji could sympathize. He felt like he wanted to do more, he wasn't sure how though, and his dick twitched in interest as he leaned forward towards Usopp’s bucking crotch, feeling the warmth and the smell of blood radiating off of it.
Sanji harshly bit his cigarette so hard it split. Before he could stop himself, he snuffed out his cigarette and pressed his mouth forward into Usopp’s crotch.
Usopp whaled above him, hands on instinct gripping tightly to Sanji’s hair. Sanji didn’t even notice the pulling, harsh taste of coppery blood filling his mouth like he was an animal tearing into prey and entirely overwhelming his senses.
It was Sanji’s turn to moan, letting out a deep groan into the flesh as he licked and sucked at the soft velvety skin. Usopp seemed to enjoy it just as much if not more, and Sanji could feel him repeatedly pressing his hips down into Sanji’s mouth, letting out a loud almost strangled moan every time he did. Sanji let him pull him closer by his hair and ride his face.
He loved the feeling of being smothered like this. It was all new, It was overwhelming, all encompassing. He was starting to find it hard to breathe and he couldn’t care less.
One of Usopp’s feet ended up between his legs, and Sanji gasped when his foot pressed into the large tent in Sanji’s dress pants. He chased the feeling, grabbing Usopp’s leg and using it much in the same way Usopp was using his face. He pressed desperately into the ball of his foot, trying to achieve stimulation with so many layers in the way.
Finally, It seemed Usopp couldn’t take the feeling anymore, and he pulled Sanji’s hair hard to get his hot tongue away from him. He leaned back on the toilet, completely spent. Dark skin was flushed a deep maroon and his unbrushed hair was sticking up all over the place as sweat made it stick to his face. “San…ji…” He tried to say something, but found words entirely failed him.
Sanji leaned back for air, pressing his palm into his dick and finally finishing himself off, moaning weakly as he soiled his underwear.
Equally as spent as Usopp was, Sanji falls back until his body lays flat on the dirty floor. It was gross- it was the bathroom after all, but in that moment he couldn’t care less.
He was going to need a shower, he thought. Both of them would probably end up needing a shower. They were covered in blood.
He put an arm over his eyes, light too bright and the idea too complicated to think about right now.
When the others came back, Sanji and Usopp had tried their best to explain the situation without sounding insane. Usopp had wads of toilet paper stuffed into a pair of pants as they desperately described to the others how Usopp was bleeding but not in an injured way and from his crotch.
Zoro looked more than a little grossed out, Luffy looked deeply concerned, and Nami immediately started laughing uncontrollably.
The whole crew looked at her with confusion. Usopp and Sanji both flushed. “What’s so funny?” Usopp shouted in frustration.
Nami put a hand on her chest, trying to slow her laughter. “Sorry, sorry.” She repeated, waving her hands back and forth to dispel their anger. “-Ok ok, I’m gonna explain this to both of you but I need you guys to come with me.” She said, pushing past them and heading towards the lower deck.
Sanji and Usopp both shot each other concerned looks, before following her.
They walked into her room, where they closed the door behind them. Nami motioned for them to sit on her bed. It felt a bit like they were being lectured by a parent.
“Ok, so how much do you guys know about periods?”
“Like, the thing that comes at the end of sentences?” Usopp asked as he looked at the floor. They had cleaned everything up but he felt like he could still see it there somehow.
“Ok, so clearly the answer is nothing.” Nami smirked in slight amusement. She took a deep breath, gearing up for the long process of explaining everything to them. They really did need a doctor, when did this become her job?