Work Text:
By the time the third day of training camp ended, Takeda was exhausted, both physically and mentally. He was bad at sleeping in unfamiliar places, which meant that he’d woken at the ass crack of dawn after tossing and turning all night. Then he’d spent all day wearing a false smile, watching as the Karasuno boys lost set after set, match after match. He’d done everything he could to keep his tone encouraging—they were only practice matches, after all—but it was still frustrating to watch, and he knew deep down that his boys were better than that. And then there had been the awkwardness between him and Ukai. Takeda tried his best to act normal for the sake of the boys and the other coaches, and Ukai seemed to be doing the same, but Takeda could still sense it. That tension between them, thicker than fog.
It had been like that between them for three weeks, tense and awkward, ever since that night they’d gone out together. Gone home together. And worse still: Shinzen didn’t exactly have an abundance of dorms, which meant that he and Ukai were sharing a room. And that definitely wasn’t helping with the whole not-sleeping-well situation. With that and the stress, Takeda was surprised he was still standing.
Still, despite all the awkwardness and everything, Takeda couldn’t help admiring the way Ukai handled the boys. He was such a good coach. He’d definitely been the right choice. As Takeda headed down to the cafeteria to grab something to drink, he thought back to Ukai on the court, calling the boys into a huddle. He always looked so confident, and the boys seemed to sense that. Even when he pointed out things they could’ve done better, he never failed to keep his tone encouraging. Balanced. And Ukai got along with the other coaches too. He was a people person, for sure. A small smile curled Takeda’s lips as he walked into the empty cafeteria, his chest aching a little more every time he thought about Ukai.
I ruined everything, he thought. They’d been friends before. Now, though, he wasn’t so sure. If only they hadn’t gone out that night. If only they’d had a little less to drink…
Takeda stayed in the cafeteria for a while, sipping a barley tea and thinking. The boys were all asleep in their dorms—Takeda had gone to check on them twice now, just to make sure, since they tended to get rowdy after hours—and so were the rest of the coaches. Ukai had gone up to their shared room earlier without even so much as a goodnight. Not that Takeda had expected that. They played nice for appearances, but in private, they hardly spoke anymore. On the first day at camp, they’d agreed that Takeda would be in charge of putting the boys to sleep, and Takeda was fine with this; Ukai would most likely be asleep by the time Takeda got back to their room. It was for the best.
When Takeda glanced at the clock and saw how late it was, he heaved a long sigh, and headed back to the coaches’ wing.
Sure enough, when he got back to the room, Ukai was curled up in his futon, apparently fast asleep, though he hadn’t even bothered to get under the blankets (it was hot, after all). He’d left one of the lights on—the one nearest to Takeda’s futon—but Takeda knew not to read too much into that. How could he? Especially with Ukai ignoring him all day, and barely speaking to him at night…
Holding back another sigh, Takeda crept into the shower, telling himself that eventually, maybe, they could be friends again. Once the memories from that night faded.
* * *
[3 Weeks Earlier]
* * *
“I thought you said you weren’t drunk, Ukai-kun,” Takeda teased, watching as Ukai tried and failed to walk in a straight line.
“I’m not,” Ukai grumbled, weaving.
Takeda did everything he could to keep a straight face, but it was too hard. He grinned and laughed, causing an alleycat to run for cover.
They were walking through the quiet suburbs under a starry night sky, the late spring air warm on their faces. After another long afternoon coaching the Karasuno boys, the two of them had decided to kick back and spend the evening eating and drinking at one of Miyagi’s many street bars. The mozuku had been delicious, and Ukai had downed cup after cup of sake. Takeda too…
Smiling mischievously, Ukai bumped Takeda’s shoulder as they walked. When Takeda bumped him back, however, Ukai nearly stumbled.
“Sure. Not drunk at all,” Takeda drawled.
Ukai’s eyes sparkled. “Whatever, Take-chan. Your face is red too.”
And now Takeda felt his cheeks getting redder. Ukai almost never called him Take-chan. It was only when they occasionally went out—when they were alone like this. Any other time, he was just ‘Sensei’ or ‘Takeda-sensei.’
“I didn't think you could drink that much and still walk,” Ukai went on, enjoying himself even more now that he was the one doing the teasing.
“Why not?” Takeda asked, defensive.
“Well, you’re skinny, for starters.”
“Hey.”
“I didn’t say it was a bad thing,” Ukai said, his eyes bold and appraising.
Takeda swallowed. Ukai’s voice had changed—gone deeper. Takeda felt far too warm all of a sudden, the night air mercifully cool against his flushed skin. He stared down at the road, still feeling Ukai’s eyes on him, not daring to look up. Perhaps he was afraid of what he’d see in Ukai’s expression—or what Ukai would see in his. As they continued walking along, however, Takeda realized his feet were taking him home. And Ukai was following him despite living in the opposite direction.
“You don’t have to walk me home, you know,” Takeda said quietly.
“Sure I do,” Ukai said, as though it were obvious. “What if you tripped? What if you passed out?”
Takeda laughed. “What if you pass out?”
Ukai rolled his eyes, “Just shut up and let me walk you home, Take-chan.”
There it was again. Take-chan. Takeda wanted to reply with some kind of smart retort, if only to take his mind off of his nerves, but when he glanced over at Ukai, he found that he could do no such thing.
Ukai’s bleach-blond hair was pulled back in typical fashion, his chin dusted with late-day stubble. Takeda couldn’t help noticing how his jeans casually hugged his legs, or how his tee shirt showed off his muscular arms. There was no denying it, really; Ukai was handsome. Takeda sometimes felt he was, sometimes admired him for how strong and tall and…everything. But there was a guardedness to Takeda’s admiration, the way there always had been when it came to Takeda and his male friends. As though he didn’t want to let himself feel too much. His father had always expected that, even if he hadn’t said it in so many words. And Takeda did his best. Though his father had died a few years ago, Takeda still wanted to be someone who would make him proud.
But now, after a night of drinking, that guardedness was gone, and as he walked along, he allowed himself to drink in the sight of Ukai’s face and chest and arms and stubble in all their moonlit glory. He licked his suddenly dry lips. If only he could have a taste. Just a small one.
Ukai’s eyes found his. Takeda’s heart leapt into his throat, beating so hard it pained him. But he didn’t look away. He knew that Ukai could probably see right through him, right through to all his hidden thoughts and feelings. And maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was walking through the streets in the dark side by side, but suddenly Takeda didn’t care.
Ukai smirked.
Takeda couldn’t help it—he laughed. He didn’t really know why, but when it came right down to it, Ukai was contagious. And right now, Ukai was happy. Free. And so was Takeda.
Ukai laughed too. They bumped and nudged each other playfully as they walked along, not needing to say anything else, and by the time they reached Takeda’s apartment, they were both wobbly and pink-faced with giggles. And as they stumbled up the steps to Takeda’s apartment—which, of course, resulted in more stifled laughter—Takeda realized he didn’t care if Ukai felt the same kind of admiration for him, because this was enough. This easy camaraderie. This friendship. When they finally reached the top, gasping and giggling, Takeda slumped against the wall next to his door, searching in his pocket for his keys.
Ukai leaned back against the railing, still chuckling and catching his breath. His eyes were on Takeda now, just watching as Takeda rifled through each of his pockets in search of the keys. Takeda felt flushed and happy. He didn’t even much care that he couldn’t find his damn keys. He was just about to say that he might’ve had too much to drink after all when he saw the look on Ukai’s face. In his eyes.
Takeda’s breath caught.
Ukai looked strangely predatory, his eyes nearly glowing in the dim. Beautiful. No, Ukai couldn't be admiring him in that way…could he? But Ukai was looking right at him. Gazing. His eyes raked over Takeda’s body, making him tremble as though with cold. Throat dry, Takeda swallowed.
“Why do you call me Take-chan?” Takeda blurted before he could stop himself. As soon as the words were out, however, he tensed. Shit. He should’ve just let it be.
But Ukai only smiled lazily, never breaking eye contact. “Why not?”
Blood rushed in Takeda's ears. Was he imagining it? The energy between them? He wanted it to be real, to be true. Oh, how he wanted that. But he couldn’t get ahead of himself.
Ukai straightened, coming to stand right in front of Takeda, whose whole body zinged with anticipation. Ukai didn’t get too close, didn’t pin him to the wall or anything—Oh, don’t think about that—just stood there in front of him, all tall and scruffy and dangerous-looking. But that was plenty. More than plenty. And he was still pinning Takeda with those eyes, their expression speaking to something nameless and primal. Takeda took a shaky breath, his body suddenly humming with arousal. He peeked up at Ukai through his lashes, biting his lip nervously.
“Are you sure you’re going to be able to get home okay…Keishin?” So much for not getting ahead of myself, he thought, watching Ukai’s eyes widen.
Takeda waited for Ukai to say something—anything. Takeda’s heart thudded frantically, and he wondered if he should take it back. Had he been rude? He’d never called Ukai by his first name, after all…
But Ukai’s eyelids drooped, and he leaned in a little closer. And closer still.
Takeda went completely still, disbelief filling him.
A breath away from Takeda’s lips, Ukai froze, his eyes gleaming. Takeda’s whole body burned with waiting, with wanting, and Ukai seemed to sense it. To delight in it. Then Ukai’s hands found him, snaking around Takeda’s waist and up into his hair, and all Takeda could do was let his eyes fall closed as the breath between them disappeared.
It was easy, so easy. Ukai’s lips tasted like tobacco and golden sake, and a harsh moan cracked in Takeda’s throat as he gave into the kiss, opening his mouth to let Ukai in. So wet and warm. Mouths and tongues. Stubble on skin. And Ukai’s hands, squeezing and running up and down his sides, one sneaking under his shirt while the other teased his hair, caressing and petting, making Takeda sparkle.
“Mmmm…” Ukai groaned, tasting him, pinning him against the wall with his body.
Takeda couldn’t believe this was happening. Could it really be? Could Ukai like him back? Did he feel the same way? Takeda grasped at the front of Ukai’s shirt, his body and mind spinning round with warm, heady lust, making him arch his back, rolling their hips together. He sucked in a breath when he realized Ukai was hard. Like, hard hard. Maybe it was true—maybe Ukai liked men.
Maybe he likes me, Takeda thought.
Takeda was hard too, and he knew Ukai felt it; Ukai growled in the sexiest possible way as they pressed closer, rubbing and grinding together. Takeda panted against Ukai’s mouth, every kiss and touch burning itself into his memory as his aching cock strained against his pants, the press of their bodies a delicious torture.
As if suddenly reading his thoughts, Ukai’s hand moved lower, reaching down the front of Takeda’s pants.
“Ah!” Takeda cried, white-knuckling Ukai’s shirt as hand found cock.
Ukai jerked him slowly, his throat vibrating as he kissed and sucked his way down Takeda’s neck. Takeda could only tip his head back, the very ground beneath them shifting as Ukai’s hand worked him up and down, squeezing. They were still up against the wall, and a neighbor could’ve popped out at any moment. But that only made Takeda hotter. It felt so dirty.
“Keys,” Ukai husked. He didn’t stop stroking. Or kissing.
Takeda closed his eyes, unable to think about anything other than the searing heat of Ukai’s mouth on his neck, the light pricks of his teeth, and the devastating pressure of Ukai’s hand on his cock. Keys? What were those?
Ukai's hand left him, coming up to cup his face as Ukai took another long drink from Takeda’s mouth. After what felt like an eternity, Ukai nipped Takeda’s bottom lip. “Keys. Inside,” he said, an edge of desperation to his voice.
Swallowing, Takeda fumbled for his keys. He wanted to ask a hundred questions. At the same time, he knew asking them might snap them both out of this trance, which was the last thing he (and his dick) wanted. When his hand finally closed around his cold keys, he handed them to Ukai. He honestly didn’t think he could work a lock in his state; he’d only been drunk before, but now he was totally gone.
Ukai somehow made quick work of the lock. Was it just Takeda, or did Ukai seem a lot more sober all of a sudden? Either way, Ukai took Takeda roughly by the hand, finding the light switch as he hurried them inside.
Takeda didn’t resist: his brain was still full of Ukai’s hot kisses, his deep, husky voice, and the throbbing heat of his hard-on as they’d rutted against the wall. He was so full of want. Whimpering low in his throat, Takeda led them over to the futon in the middle of the living room, the one that he kept spread out by the low table so that he could watch tv. And wow, now he was glad he kept it there.
With catlike quickness, Ukai tossed Takeda down onto the futon, then knelt, straddling him.
For a long moment, Takeda stared, drinking in the sight of the man above him. Above him, holy shit! Ukai was flushed, his pupils blown, and he was breathing hard, gazing down at Takeda like he was hungry, like he wanted to eat him up. And oh, Takeda wanted to be eaten. But there was something in Ukai’s expression, something beyond lust. Something…tender.
It made Takeda want to break for him. Before he could stop himself, Takeda gasped, arching up toward him.
Like a moth to a flame, Ukai bent low, nuzzling and kissing along Takeda’s barely-exposed collarbone as his fingers pushed at the hem of Takeda’s shirt. “Take-chan…”
Takeda arched against his hands, exposing his neck for Ukai’s mouth, his whole body alive with tremors. Everywhere Ukai touched him set fire, and his self-control felt like a train derailing. “Keishin…” he moaned.
Gasping, Ukai lifted his head, and their eyes met for a split second before they were kissing again, furiously now, the urgency like a storm roaring through them. Ukai’s hands slipped under his shirt as Takeda’s hands threaded through Ukai’s hair, running wild in the soft, blond silk that he stared at so often, never allowing himself to wonder about how it might feel for too long.
“Uhn…Keishin…”
Hearing his name again, Ukai moaned into Takeda’s mouth, pinching one of his nipples before breaking away. Takeda whined, grasping, but Ukai took him gently by the wrists and pried his hands away. Then Ukai was sliding down his body, his mouth teasing the velvety soft hair below Takeda’s navel as he fumbled with the belt of his pants. Takeda bit his lip, his chest filling with wonder as blood rushed to his middle. He was going to die. He was going to come, but then he was definitely going to die…
Takeda jerked when he felt cool air on his dick, and he didn’t get much time to collect himself before Ukai’s tongue followed, licking a warm stripe from base to tip, then enveloping the leaking head in the heat of his mouth. Takeda clutched at the sheets, blushing furiously as he let loose the most shameless moan, but it only seemed to goad Ukai on. Takeda looked down at him, at the perfect sight of Ukai sucking him, dizzy with disbelief and pleasure and a thousand other unnamable things. Unnamable…but there was only one name on his lips as Ukai gripped his cock around the base and covered him, sucking him, squeezing him with those sexy, beautiful, dirty lips…
“Keishin…” Takeda moaned, throwing his head back and clutching at his own shirt like a person having a heart attack.
Ukai stroked Takeda’s belly as he sucked him, moaning around his cock in a way that made Takeda thrust into his mouth without meaning to. But Ukai seemed to like it, groaning and taking him deeper, warm spit dripping down the length of Takeda’s cock as Ukai’s mouth worked him, his hidden tongue twisting and swirling all around like he was trying out for the fucking blowjob olympics. He was so eager. So hungry for it. The force of his tongue made Takeda blush and ache.
“Keishin…oh, Keishin…so good,” Takeda mumbled, the words leaving him without his permission as he gave himself over to the gift of Ukai’s mouth. “Ah…oh…” And then Takeda was unraveling, turning to goo, the noises escaping him dissolving into animal grunts and whimpers.
Ukai’s hands were on his balls now, stroking and rolling them slowly, and although Takeda could hear himself—mewling and crying out and whimpering—he forgot to be ashamed. This was his. At least for now. He could sense Ukai rutting into the futon as he sucked, and the thought of him getting so turned on just from blowing him, well…that was half of what pushed Takeda over the edge. Takeda’s hands found his own nipples, tweaking them through his shirt, and he whimpered as delicious pain flashed through him, lighting up the pleasure already smoldering in his belly.
Takeda came before he had time to warn Ukai, but Ukai didn’t seem to care. He caressed Takeda’s balls and drank him up, swallowing and milking Takeda’s cock as Takeda gave in. Words tumbled from his mouth, words he couldn’t even hear; he even thought he might black out for a second, but then he took a deep breath, the pleasure spreading through him thick and heavy, melting him into the futon. Even when Takeda was twitching and gasping, oversensitive now that he had come, Ukai didn’t let up; he licked another long, slow stripe up Takeda’s softening cock, just as he had earlier, and Takeda whimpered, closing his eyes against a wave of pain-laced pleasure.
“Keishin…” Takeda panted, reaching blindly. “Ah…”
Grunting, Ukai sat up and straddled Takeda once more. Takeda’s chest heaved, his eyes working to focus. When they did, Takeda saw that Ukai’s hard cock was jutting out of his pants, brushing against his abdomen. Takeda let out a small, desperate noise, wanting nothing more than to taste him too.
Before Takeda could do anything, however, Ukai leaned forward and captured Takeda’s lips, kissing him desperately as he jerked himself off. The kiss was deliciously bitter, and it made Takeda groan, as did the little noises that escaped Ukai as he masturbated.
“Keishin…” Takeda murmured between kisses.
“Lift up your shirt,” Ukai growled.
Moaning, Takeda obeyed immediately; he pulled his shirt up to his neck, his nipples hardening against the cool air. He could feel Ukai’s hand moving against his belly, jerking himself in long, rough strokes. Ukai leaned back, licking his lips as he gazed down at Takeda as though he were the only thing he’d ever wanted.
“Fuck,” Ukai cursed, stroking himself from base to head as he came all over Takeda’s chest.
Takeda watched Ukai’s face, reveling in the feeling of warm come dirtying him. Although he’d fantasized about this many times, he’d never actually done it with a man—any of it. But this was a thousand times better than his fantasies. And even though the shame was returning—how must he look, lifting his shirt up for Ukai, flushed and spread out beneath him?—the prick of it felt just like pleasure.
Ukai let out a sated groan as he milked himself dry, the last few drops of come dripping down his softening cock. Then, without even a moment’s hesitation, he bent down and licked Takeda clean, his warm tongue catching every last drop of come. Takeda moaned, breathing hard; Ukai’s completely unguarded expression, so eager and lusty, sent the blood right back up to Takeda’s face, vivid against his cheeks. He let out a small cry when Ukai’s tongue swiped across his nipples—so sensitive—and finally, when there was nothing left to clean up, Ukai collapsed on top of Takeda, burying his face in Takeda’s neck, and stroking his sweaty-soft hair.
Takeda closed his eyes, warmth filling him.
They stayed like that for a long while. Catching their breath. Coming down. His body still shaking with adrenaline, Takeda stroked Ukai’s sides, wondering what he must be thinking. For Takeda’s part, he still couldn’t quite believe everything that had just happened; he felt so lucky. For Ukai to like him back…would they become lovers? Boyfriends? They’d have to keep it a secret, but they’d make it work. Takeda leaned in to kiss Ukai’s ear, practically purring with joy.
At last, Ukai spoke. “Fuck,” he said quietly.
Takeda almost laughed. Yeah, that about summed it up. He wondered if they would go a second round. He was already starting to feel horny again…
Ukai rose suddenly, sitting back on his heels. He was still straddling Takeda, and Takeda stroked his thighs, blinking. He watched Ukai’s face, but for some reason, Ukai was avoiding his eyes.
“Keishin…?”
“I’m sorry.”
What? Those words had come from Ukai. Sorry? Why was he sorry?
Before Takeda could even attempt to figure that out, however, Ukai stood, his sudden absence hitting Takeda like a winter wind. Takeda watched, speechless, as Ukai turned to face the wall, crossing his arms and bowing his head.
As though he’d just been doused in ice, a chill ran through Takeda. But he found that he couldn’t move. He just lay there on the futon, watching, feeling more helpless by the second.
“I’m sorry, Sensei,” Ukai said finally. “I never should have done that.”
“Kei—” the word died on Takeda’s lips, his chest hollowing. Ukai had called him Sensei.
Another long silence poisoned the air between them.
“I have to go,” Ukai said at last, striding toward the door. Not once looking back.
The door opened and closed, and Ukai was gone.
Takeda lay on the futon for a long while. He’d only ever experienced being in shock—real shock—twice in his life before. First during a car accident when he was a kid. And then again after his father had died of a stroke. And now, against all odds, he felt it again. It was like a brick weighing him down, slowing down time, keeping him rooted in place.
Though he didn’t move, after a while the tears started flowing down his cheeks, and he didn’t wipe them away.
* * *
[3 Weeks Later]
* * *
I don’t know why I keep blaming myself, Takeda thought as he stepped out of the shower. He kissed me. He pushed me into bed. And then he just left.
After toweling his hair dry, Takeda slipped into a tee shirt and boxers, then crept back out into the room. The low light by his futon was still on, and Takeda could see that Ukai had rolled over onto his side, facing away from Takeda now. Takeda wondered if the shower had woken him. He felt bad for a second, then shoved the feeling away. Ukai was the one who’d done him wrong. And then to keep avoiding him for weeks, never even mentioning it…
Takeda tried to fight off the sadness as he slipped into bed as quietly as he could, then flicked off the light. Maybe Ukai was a closet case. Takeda couldn’t really talk—he was as closeted as they came. He dated women, he’d never told anyone the truth, and he’d never had sex with a man until Ukai. Ukai…Ukai made him want to open up. He made Takeda want to accept himself. With Ukai, Takeda could actually imagine coming home to him, taking baths with him, climbing into bed with him… And yet here they were, barely speaking. Takeda couldn’t understand it. Was Ukai just ashamed? It was so obvious that Ukai had wanted that night—had wanted sex with him—just as much as Takeda had. And Ukai had to know that Takeda had wanted it. He’d been a hair away from begging for it.
Sorry. Ukai had said sorry. Why? It was so damn frustrating. What did he have to be sorry for? They’d both wanted it. Or had they? What if Ukai had just been really, really drunk, and coming had sobered him up? Some men really would fuck anything after enough alcohol. But the thought of that made Takeda infinitely sad, and he shoved it away hurriedly.
Takeda tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable. Damn, why did they have to share the same room? They had to get up so early, and Takeda was already suffering from lack of sleep…
A shuffling sound made Takeda freeze. He strained his ears, listening. It was dark now, nothing to see. But it sounded like Ukai was awake.
After the shuffling, silence. Takeda waited, holding his breath.
“Take-chan?”
Takeda gasped softly, tears pricking his eyes. No. This was just cruel. How could Ukai leave like that, and then… Stop toying with me.
“I know you’re awake,” Ukai whispered, his voice low.
Takeda's lip trembled as he tried to master himself. He was so angry all of a sudden. He wanted to scream and shout at Ukai, to hit him and punch him.
“I know you hate me.”
Takeda’s eyes went wide. He still hadn’t said a word. Yes, he was mad at Ukai, but…something about the way Ukai said it made Takeda hesitate. He waited.
“I’m sorry,” Ukai said, his voice thick. “I never should have… I don’t know what came over me. That night. And I know you had a few drinks. I knew, but I still…. It was wrong. I just…I know I should’ve said something sooner.”
Takeda’s heart was speeding up, his breaths coming quicker. What was Ukai saying? Takeda thought back to practice the morning after they’d had sex; it’d been awkward as hell, and Takeda had wanted more than anything to talk about it, but Ukai had given him the cold shoulder. They hadn’t talked about anything. It was like it never happened. Except, of course, that they weren’t speaking.
“It’s just, I…I was ashamed. I’m sorry it took till now. But I swear, if I hadn’t been drunk, I never would’ve forced you to…” he trailed off, the sound of his voice melting into the darkness.
The hairs stood up on Takeda’s neck. Forced? Forced?
Is that really what he thought?
Ukai heaved a pained sigh. “Take-chan, I just want you to know that—”
“Are you kidding me?” Takeda hissed, bolting upright in bed and flipping on the light.
The soft yellow light spilled over the carpet, just barely illuminating Ukai’s wide eyes, and Takeda’s flushed cheeks. Ukai was gaping at him, surprise, hurt, and guilt warring in his expression, and as a full understanding of just how badly Ukai had misunderstood slowly rolled over him, Takeda clenched his fists, shaking with pent-up frustration.
“Take-chan…Sensei…I…” Ukai swallowed. “I don't need you to forgive me. I know it’ll take time. I messed up. But I just want…I want us to be friends again. Someday. It doesn’t have to be soon. I promise…I swear, I’ll never pull anything like that again…”
Takeda shook like a tea kettle on a stove as Ukai rambled on and on. He couldn’t take it anymore. Three whole weeks. Three whole weeks, Ukai had thought Takeda didn’t want it. He’d assumed. And Takeda had no idea why Ukai had left like that, why he wasn’t speaking to him… Three whole weeks Takeda had worried himself sick, turning over that night again and again.
Takeda’s patience left him. Tossing back the sheets, he crawled over to Ukai’s futon, and he didn’t stop until he was straddling Ukai, the same way Ukai had straddled him three weeks ago.
His mouth hanging open, Ukai stared up at him with an expression caught somewhere between panic and befuddlement.
Ever so slowly, Takeda leaned in, closing the distance between their faces. Takeda’s blood was singing, his heart galloping in his chest, anger making his eyes flinty and his hands bold. He paused a few inches from Ukai’s face, and he could see Ukai glance at his mouth, his cheeks reddening.
“You say you forced me,” Takeda growled, anger making his throat tight. “But you came to that conclusion all on your own.”
Ukai opened and closed his mouth, his dark pupils flaring. When Takeda pushed a hand up Ukai’s shirt, Ukai sucked in a breath, flinching with his whole body. His expression only softened a little. As though he didn’t dare let himself hope.
Takeda licked his lips, moving closer. “I’ll show you how forced I was,” he hissed, dropping his lips onto Ukai’s.
Ukai gave in with a strangled moan as Takeda kissed him hard, nipping at Ukai’s lips and touching him all over, his anger-turned-lust making him brazen as could be. And Ukai yielded, opening up for him, his body pliant with wonder and probably some amount of disbelief. But Takeda vowed to wash all that away. He licked into Ukai’s mouth, making him groan, tangling his hands in Ukai’s thick hair. And then he was kissing and biting Ukai’s rough chin, his hands tearing at Ukai’s boxers in his haste to push them down.
“Ah!” Ukai cried as Takeda’s hand flew between them, jerking his cock to hardness. “Take-chan…fuck…”
After a few more rough strokes, Takeda let go, and Ukai whimpered at the loss. But then Takeda was sliding off his lap, shoving Ukai’s legs apart and kneeling between them.
Ukai let out a long groan as Takeda swallowed the hard length of his cock, choking a little as he took him all the way. Ukai began to tremble almost immediately, his hands threading themselves in Takeda’s hair as Takeda sucked him violently, spit clogging his throat as Ukai’s thick cock filled him. Ukai thrust up into his mouth, making him choke again, and Takeda’s belly danced with that familiar blend of pain and pleasure, his cock tenting his boxers.
“Fuck…Take-chan…please…slow down…” Ukai groaned. “I’m gonna come…”
Breathing through his nose, Takeda decided to listen, sliding off Ukai with a wet pop. A line of spit clung to his mouth, and Takeda slowly licked his lips, watching Ukai’s expression as he did.
Ukai’s Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as he looked down at Takeda, his eyes dark with lust. It was so clear that he wanted Takeda. And that made Takeda’s heart stutter, his belly fluttering wildly. Oh, how good it felt to be wanted—honestly wanted—by someone he admired so much. His chest swelling with newfound courage, Takeda crawled up Ukai’s body, his hard cock pressing against Ukai’s wet one as Takeda laid himself between Ukai’s legs. He needed Ukai to know the truth. He wanted to tell Ukai how he felt.
“I want you, Keishin. I like you. I’ve liked you for a long time,” Takeda breathed, the words coming easy now. “It killed me when you up and left that night. I didn’t understand.”
Ukai bit his lip, eyes shining. He looked like he wanted to cry. After a few moments, however, he seemed to compose himself enough to speak. “Seriously?”
Takeda nodded. “I thought…I thought you didn’t want me. I thought maybe you were just drunk, and—”
“No,” Ukai interrupted him, cupping Takeda’s face with his hands. “I…fuck…I want you so much.”
Takeda swallowed thickly. “Keishin…”
“I’m such an idiot,” Ukai hissed.
Leaning close, Takeda kissed him slowly. Tenderly. “Make it up to me?” he breathed, his words ghosting over Ukai’s skin.
In answer, Ukai moaned, kissing him once more. Their hips rocked together as the kiss deepened, their breath seeming to come in hot puffs around them. When they finally reached a point where they had to slow down or come, Ukai stilled them. They leaned their foreheads together, breathing hard.
“Hold on. I have to go get something,” Ukai said, untangling their bodies and crawling over to his suitcase.
Takeda watched him search, willing his body to calm down. He was so close to coming already, and all they’d done is rub up against each other. And Takeda still had boxers on.
When Ukai returned, he set a bottle of something down on the futon. Takeda’s groin tightened when he realized it was lube. But then Ukai’s hands were on him, tugging on his boxers, pulling them over his hard-on and pushing them down his thighs.
“Get these off,” Ukai growled.
Breath hitching, Takeda did as he was told. A few moments later, his shirt was gone too. Ukai’s joined it a moment later, and then they were naked together, and Ukai was pulling Takeda into his lap, settling him so that they were facing each other, their leaking cocks nudging one another wantonly. Just the sight made Takeda’s breath shudder as it left him.
They kissed again, and Takeda heard a little popping sound. The lube, he realized. Next thing he knew, Ukai’s hands were on him, slathering their cocks with lube and squeezing them together without even a shred of modesty. Clutching his shoulders, Takeda whimpered against him, the squeeze of Ukai’s hand on his cock like a distilled full-body massage. And Takeda felt so exposed, with his legs spread over Ukai’s lap. He thrust into Ukai’s hand, unable to stop himself from rutting toward the pleasure.
Ukai stroked their cocks together in his big hand, the wet sliding and the pressure making Takeda close his eyes and moan low in his throat. He tried to keep quiet—surely the walls weren’t very thick, and there were other coaches nearby—but for some reason the thought of being overheard made his balls tighten even more, a slow, hot tingle spreading all through him. They kissed messily, straining, and then Ukai was kissing his neck, his other hand moving to cup Takeda’s butt…
Takeda gasped, his spine going rigid as he felt a lubed finger slip between his spread cheeks, probing his hole. The touch was so shameless—he didn’t even touch himself there!—it made him want to come right then. He bit his lip hard.
But reality didn’t change; Ukai’s finger was still slowly circling his hole, covering it with lube. Takeda pushed into the touch, unexpectedly aroused.
“You want it?” Ukai husked, still squishing their cocks together.
“Yes,” Takeda breathed.
“Are you sure?”
“Keishin…please,” Takeda whined, not sure which way to thrust. There was pleasure both in front of him and behind him, and it made him want to combust, to explode, like fireworks in the night.
“Mmmm…say my name again.”
Takeda sucked in a little breath, hot lust sliding up his thighs. “Nn…Keishin…”
Ukai pushed inside with his finger—just a little—and Takeda moaned into his shoulder, melting. Ukai began to push in and out, fingering him slowly, and then Takeda’s legs were quaking, trembling, his cock still caught in Ukai’s sliding grasp.
“Yes,” Takeda groaned, his voice muffled against Ukai’s skin. The feeling of Ukai’s cock sliding against his was making him leak all over—he could feel it. And then Ukai’s finger curled inside of him, coinciding with a particularly long, twisting stroke of their cocks, and Takeda knew he would have fallen over if he’d been standing. He let out a strangled whimper—so indecent. If anyone heard him now, they’d never be able to look at him the same way. “Oh…Keishin…uhn!”
Ukai picked up the pace, finding a rhythm as he fingered and jerked him at the same time. “Look at you…you want it so bad…”
“Yes,” Takeda breathed—begged—his arms around Ukai’s neck.
“You’re such a slut for it…”
Takeda’s breath stuttered in his throat, heat piercing him. “Yes.” And he was. He knew it. Ukai may have been his first man, but damn if he wasn’t willing to do just about anything right now.
Ukai’s voice was gravel. “Fuck…I want to bend you over and fuck your brains out right now…”
Takeda could only moan, sure that if Ukai wanted to, he could do just that, and Takeda would love it. But instead of bending him over, Ukai kept stroking him, his finger working all kinds of magic as it slid in and out of Takeda’s sensitive hole, firing neurons he hadn’t even known he had…
The suddenness of Takeda’s orgasm knocked the wind out of him, making him gasp and shake and whimper as blackness threatened the edges of his vision. A kind of pleasure he’d never experienced swept through him, hotter than a furnace, and when it finally faded, he wasn’t sure how much time had passed. He somehow managed to open his eyes, only to find Ukai staring at him in awe, his wet mouth slightly parted.
“Keishin,” Takeda whispered, feeling strange. And when he looked down at himself, he realized why.
He hadn’t come. Well, he’d come—and hard too—but he hadn’t ejaculated. Takeda stared down at himself, aghast. His cock was still rock hard, caught in Ukai’s big hand and trapped against his swollen cock.
“Did you just…?” Ukai asked, his voice filled with awe.
Takeda could only nod.
Ukai kissed him hard then, squeezing their cocks together with rough strokes as he kept his finger in place. Trembling and moaning, Takeda thrust back against him, desperate now, fucking Ukai’s slick finger as the tingles of pleasure turned to fire, filling him up with bright, overwhelming pleasure. Ukai stroked them harder, his rhythm unschooled and wild. He stroked Takeda right through another dry orgasm, and Takeda cried out against Ukai’s mouth as tears pricked his eyes. He kept mumbling things he didn’t understand, as though his language functions had stopped working. But Ukai was talking too, and Takeda understood him just fine.
“Fuck, Take-chan, you’re perfect…fuck…so tight…I wanna be inside you…I don’t ever want to stop…”
Takeda felt himself falling, felt the tight coil of a real, honest-to-god orgasm twisting in his balls, the sensations layering one on top of another, obliterating everything but the pleasure. And then he was coming, biting his lip to keep from screaming as he spilled hot come all over them. He felt it hit his chest and chin, felt it dripping down his cock and probably all over Ukai’s hand, and he was moaning, and the orgasm would not stop. He was still coming. Ukai’s rhythm reached a crescendo, faltering as he shuddered with his own orgasm, their seed mixing as the hot mess dripped down their cocks. Takeda’s whole body shook as Ukai milked them, and Takeda was thrusting into his hand, thrusting and writhing and moaning until finally, at last, he finished, his orgasm shuddering out of him in one big tremor that zipped down him from head to toe.
Ukai let out a quavery breath, his finger slipping out as they collapsed in a sticky, sweaty heap, holding onto each other as their brains came back online.
Takeda closed his eyes, nuzzling against Ukai’s chest. He felt so ridiculously good. This felt good. Doing this with Ukai. Lying here with Ukai. He wanted to shower together after this too. He didn’t want to be apart. But for the time being, he still needed to figure out how to speak; his language center didn’t seem to have booted up yet.
Ukai stroked his back tenderly, his chest heaving. “Fuck. That was…fuck.”
Takeda somehow managed a nod.
“I…fuck.”
Takeda inhaled Ukai’s scent. Musk and sweat and something sharper, like cinnamon.
“I love you.”
Takeda’s eyes flew open despite himself. That had been Ukai’s voice. And Ukai’s words. Takeda slowly pulled back, gazing at Ukai’s face in wonder. Ukai just smiled.
“Yeah. I definitely love you,” Ukai whispered, kissing Takeda’s forehead. Nuzzling his hair.
Takeda felt a few tears spill down his cheeks. He pressed his face into Ukai’s chest, kissing him anywhere he could. He felt so utterly and totally complete. There were no words.
Ukai hugged him, a gentle, tender squeeze. And then he was chuckling—a low, devilish sound. “Next time I want to fuck you for real.”
Takeda sucked in a breath, the sudden pang of lust making his balls ache something fierce. They would definitely have to wait. At least an hour. But after that…
“Yes, please,” Takeda whispered.
Ukai chuckled again, nuzzling him. “You’re beautiful.”
Takeda felt himself flush. “So are you,” he mumbled.
Ukai’s face grew serious. “I’m so glad…” he trailed off, shaking himself. “We’ll still be like this tomorrow, right? This isn’t a dream?”
Takeda shook his head. “Definitely not a dream.”
Ukai smiled. Locking eyes, they kissed slowly, languidly. And as they did, Takeda forgot to care about his father’s expectations, or what the other coaches might think, or how difficult it might be to carry on a covert relationship; none of it mattered. All that mattered was this. Ukai and him. Together.
“…I love you too, Keishin.”