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Ten long years without a kind touch. Ten years without any kind of touch not inflicted by demon or weapon and suddenly Karlach could have as many touches as she wanted whenever she wanted. She knew she could be overbearing but the gods must have finally decided to make up for the absolutely shit life they had given her so far by giving her Tav, who didn’t mind how overbearing she was or her frequent need for physical contact. Life was short, hers especially, and she didn’t want to waste time dancing around until they made it to the point in their relationship where society deemed it acceptable to take the next step. So far their relationship had been fairly chaste, even after her engine had been upgraded a second time it was hard to find time to step away when their plates were full with brain parasites, evil cults, and frequently ending up responsible for keeping the peace wherever they went. It didn’t help that Tav didn’t have a tent either. Karlach did but it didn’t provide much cover and Tav always felt the need to sleep near the fire just in case anything happened in the night.
Spirits were high amongst their party as they had lifted the Shadow Curse and were leaving for Rivington in the morning. Karlach’s spirits were even higher since Tav had approached her during dinner and bashfully told her that she had arranged for them to have a private room at the inn for the night. The smaller tiefling had blushed from her cheeks up to the tips of her ears and her tail had been swishing nervously behind her. It was incredibly adorable and it had taken all of Karlach’s self control not to make use of that room immediately. Instead she had pressed an appreciative kiss to Tav’s warm cheek and promised to show her appreciation later. Dinner had been fantastic as always thanks to Gale’s cooking and Karlach and Tav had spent it exchanging small touches of affection between bits of food. Not even a quip from Astarion had put a damper on Karlach’s mood. Once the food was finished Karlach had scooped Tav up, intent on not wasting another minute of their night. Tav had laughed and protested but Karlach felt her lean in close and rested her head against her shoulder happily.
Now they were laying in their borrowed bed, Tav reclined against the headboard with Karlach wrapped against her side and her head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat. The sound was a comfort to her, she allowed her eyes to fall shut as she slipped a hand under Tav’s thin linen shirt and ran her hand over the smooth skin of her stomach. The night was young and they were both thoroughly enjoying the complete lack of urgency. Karlach shifted and moved her leg to rest across Tav’s and wrapped her tail around Tav’s thigh. Tav reached down and gently guided Karlach’s head back so that she could lean down and press a soft kiss to her lips. She sighed happily into the kiss and brought her hand up to cup Tav’s cheek. She could stay like this forever, surrounded in a soft cocoon of darkness with her lover. Tav kissed her again, each one deeper and hungrier than the last. A warm pool of desire blossomed deep in Karlach’s gut and she broke away so that she could move until she was on top of Tav, straddling her hips. She slipped her hands back under the hem of Tav’s shirt, slowly sliding them up her torso and pressing a kiss to each new inch of skin she revealed. Tav squirmed underneath her and Karlach smiled when she noticed her lover’s breathing grow heavy. The shirt was carefully removed and Karlach took a moment to enjoy the newly exposed view. Unlike herself, Tav’s skin was mostly unmarked, a few small scars across her chest and abdomen. She was beautiful, and she considered herself lucky that someone like Tav liked someone like her.
Her thoughts were interrupted by two hands tugging at the hem of her own shirt. “Off.” Tav demanded softly and Karlach could hardly say no to the demand, removing her shirt in one fluid motion. Tav watched, enraptured, and Karlach couldn’t help but feel slightly self conscious. She was no stranger to being naked around others. Privacy wasn’t a luxury she had been allowed in Avernus and their current group all felt comfortable enough to bathe in the river near each other. There was no judgment in Tav’s expression so Karlach did her best to ignore those thoughts, choosing to focus on the cool touch of Tav's hands on her stomach. Her fingertips dragged lightly across her skin and down to her hips before brushing along the skin just above the waistband of her pants, sending a tingling sensation across her skin as the warmth in her stomach grew.
Tav slid her hands up towards Karlach’s chest, cupping her breasts and brushing her thumbs over her nipples, making Karlach inhale sharply and grind down against her. Tav moaned softly and kept her hands moving, her fingers traced along the ridges and valleys of the scars on her sides. It put her slightly on edge, the dulled sensation of touch along her scars, but she pushed it out of her head again in favor of enjoying this moment with Tav. She leaned down to kiss Tav again when her fingers brushed along some metal that was sticking out of her skin. The nerve endings around there had never healed quite right and the touch sent a sharp, tingling twinge of pain towards her spine. She froze, eyes widening as she was suddenly sent back to those first days in Avernus, trying to get used to her body that now felt so different but so achingly familiar.
She was laying in a bed in one of Zariel's fortresses, the room is the same one she had first woken up in. It seemed impossible for her to get comfortable, there was a heavy weight in her chest that wasn't there before and an overwhelming ache that wrapped around her ribcage. She’d run out of tears long ago, it wasn't like it got her any sympathy anyway. If anything it seemed to make them poke and prod at her harder as it inspired some kind of awful joy in the people who now owned her. Karlach squirmed and shifted and cried out when her attempts to find comfort only brought her more pain. Her hands gripped the sheets as the motion caused a pinching, burning pain in her side and she hissed through gritted teeth. Even though she knew she wouldn't like what she found she reached towards the point of pain and she squeezed her eyes shut when her fingers landed on metal surrounded by raw skin. Suddenly footsteps approached the bed and she startled, the loud noises of machinery that had replaced her heartbeat must have covered the sound of the door opening. Uncaring hands ripped back the sheets and started poking and prodding at her, muttering to each other about progress and performance. She wanted to push them away, to fight and run and get the hells out of here but she knew she'd only be brought back and subjected to harsher treatment.
“Karlach, hey, are you okay?” A soft voice made her blink and Karlach was suddenly looking down at Tav’s concerned face, though her mind was still back in Avernus. Arms wrapped around her and tried to pull her close but the pressure felt stifling and restrictive.
This time she was being held down on a stone table as infernal script was being tattooed across her stomach. They had already covered her arm and it throbbed and burned as she thrashed and tried to get away from the needles. A year had passed since first arrived in Avernus and she had no qualms about fighting back. No matter what she did she was treated roughly and every hit she landed on the devils imprisoning her was a cathartic release of her anger. She had to get away, she needed to be free. She pushed Tav’s arms away with ease and moved across the bed to the corner, curling up with her arms around her knees. Her breathing was much too fast but she didn’t care. The mattress shifted and then Tav’s face was in front of hers, eyes wide. She reached out and put a hand on Karlach’s arm but immediately pulled it back when she flinched.
“I’m sorry,” Tav’s trembling voice sounded distant to Karlach and she wanted to comfort her girlfriend but her body and mind were still stuck in the past. It hadn’t even occurred to her that she was still shirtless until a blanket was draped over her shoulders. Tav was careful not to touch her and Karlach felt her breathing start to calm as the weight and warmth of the blanket settled into her. She wasn’t sure how much time passed as she huddled in the corner and Tav sat silently next to her but her brain slowly settled back into her body and she turned her head to look at her girlfriend. The smaller tiefling sat next to her cross legged and playing with the frayed edge of the sheets. She looked up at Karlach with a relieved smile on her face.
“Hey, love. Is there anything I can do for you?” Karlach was worried that her small freakout had turned Tav off of her completely but her voice was full of affection. She hummed thoughtfully.
“Water, maybe?” She mumbled. Tav was quick to fulfill her request and Karlach noticed that she was careful not to touch her. “I’m sorry. I wanted to have a nice night with you and I ruined it. You got us a room and everything.”
“No!” Tav’s voice was loud and she ducked her head sheepishly before continuing. “It’s not your fault at all. A lot of shit things happened to you and you’re allowed to be affected by them.”
Part of Karlach was still waiting for the shoe to drop, for Tav to get up and leave, but Tav settled back against the headboard of the bed and put her hand down next to her, palm up in an open invitation for Karlach to initiate touch when she was ready. She felt her eyes start to burn with tears at the patient display of affection and she unwrapped her arm from around her leg and intertwined their fingers.
“I don’t deserve you.” Karlach’s voice was trembling with emotion and it made her embarrassed. “I’m an awful mess.”
Tav shook her head. “Don’t talk like that about the person I love.” Her voice was gentle but firm as she gave her hand a squeeze. She had to blink away the tears that were stubbornly not going away. In the silence that followed Karlach let herself slide down so that she was lying on the bed curled up against Tav’s side. Tav was clearly hesitant to initiate anything so Karlach wiggled her way closer and pulled the hand she was holding so that Tav’s arm was draped across her body. That clearly was all the invitation she needed and Karlach smiled as Tav turned towards her so that her front was flush against Karlach’s back. It was heavenly, being surrounded by a warm and loving embrace.
“I love you, Tav.” She mumbled as her eyelids grew heavy with sleep.
“I love you too.” The response came whispered against the back of her neck and followed by a kiss. Exhaustion weighed heavy on her after her little freak out but sleep refused to come quickly. Tav had no difficulty, Karlach felt her body relax as she drifted off behind her. Morning would come soon and she wished it wouldn’t. If she could stay here forever she would, surrounded by warmth and love. The city could wait as long as she had Tav.
“Taters.”