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You got what you wanted.
All of that stress, the travel the two of you had been through together, had put you and “Jay” on the balcony of some hotel. You weren’t entirely sure where you were in the world, but it didn’t matter.
The evening was cooler than it had been, a sign of autumn creeping in. The two of you were alone, bathed in neon light, with almost two bottles of wine gone in a comfortable silence.
Your world is blue and gold, courtesy of a hotel sign across the way. Hours had passed of sitting, smoking, and staring. You’d been talking about nothing and he’d been listening. It felt as if the more weed and alcohol Jay had, the more he allowed you to see him.
Sometimes, when you were in the middle of explaining a stupid story from college, his eyes would warm and you would think for a moment that he was smiling.
Of course, it was dark, you could barely tell where he was past the smoke and the blinking signs.
But the conversation reached a pause, and in typical Jay fashion, he took it above himself to sit and stare in silence, tall form practically falling out of the tiny metal chairs that the hotel kept on the balcony. He seemed softer tonight, but you wouldn’t fully understand why until later.
“Hi.” Your words carry softly over a cool breeze, prompting Jay to grip his chair tighter to avoid falling onto the ground.
“Hello.” Jay winces at the sound of his voice. This is why he didn’t drink. When he drinks, he talks. He talks too much.
You only give a small smile, and stand to lean on the railing of the balcony. Your hair caught in the updraft and it was as if Jay forgot how to breathe.
You glance away, taking a hit from your joint. Jay’s relaxed, seeming to slump further down in his chair. You could sit on his lap if you wanted. But you remove your eyes carefully before the urge overtakes you.
You weren’t going to get flustered tonight, you’d had far too much alcohol for that.
Jay on the other hand … was thinking too hard, and getting himself flustered. He tried to hide it, but his cheeks were warm. You could probably feel them even from where you were sitting.
Against Jay’s well-honed better judgment, he gets up slowly to stand by you, leaning over the railing, looking up at a vibrant blue-black sky.
He likes standing next to you.
“Your eyes must drive men crazy.” He said, low, monotone. Jay couldn’t help but shiver. He hates speaking, he hates when he doesn’t know what he’s saying. But, if the neon had been a little bit brighter, he would have seen the pinpricks his words sent up your arms.
“I don’t know,” you breathed, your heart started to pound in your ears, “do they drive you crazy?”
Jay moved his eyes to the ground, his face prickled with heat. He was drunk, he shouldn’t have said anything. He shot himself in the foot and there would be no recovery. He knew what he wanted to tell you, he knew he shouldn’t say it, but he said it anyway.
“Maybe you drive me crazy.”
Shit.
“That’s the goal.” You reply, trying to seem calm and smooth, but failing. Jay was a little too high off your words to care.
Either a heartbeat or an hour passes.
‘Oh,’ Jay thinks. Maybe what kept him up at night wasn’t such a far-off wish.
You breathe, almost in unison, and the space between you seems to close. Jay deliberately places large, warm hands on the small of your back.
You gasp at the new contact. Jay hears you.
There’s a moment where you think maybe…maybe he might just tilt your chin up and …
But he doesn’t. That doesn’t stop your heart from raging in your ears as Jay, the strange, protector, leans his head down, and carefully rests his face on your neck.
It wasn’t a kiss, but it was something.
He breathes you in, and you let him. In your travels together, you had known Jay to be reserved, polite, and respectful. You’d never seen him so much as breathe near alcohol, or a bar until tonight.
The neon was bright, and so was the moon. What made tonight different?
But that train of thought was a ploy to get yourself to stop thinking about how good his beard, his breath, his everything felt so close to you.
You faintly feel Jay hum into your neck, dragging soft whiskers across your exposed neck. His hands rested on the small of your back, and he was wrapped around you, tightening his grip, almost acting as your jacket.
He must be drunk. It’s a shame. If he wasn’t you’d eat him alive. You let your mind roam to the ever-growing list of things you’d do to Jay should the occasion ever arise. Every day it seemed to grow tenfold. In your mind, he’d like it.
Maybe it was the fact that you were probably drunk, but you’d push him down and put him in your mouth that instant. You’d wanted to for weeks now, and maybe this was a sign you could ask. Maybe the tides would turn and you could fight for what you wanted. Or better yet- there wouldn’t be a need to fight. The both of you could just be.
Jay, on the other hand, sighed into your neck, enjoying the pinpricks appearing on your skin. He could stay like this forever.
He should ask if you felt the same way too.
Jay let his mind wander to a better world. There’s a version of your shared life where things are kinder and softer. There’s a version of your shared world where he can fall into you and never climb out. Where he can be yours and let you crush him as you see fit. He wouldn’t mind at all.
But whatever it was that kept drawing the two of you close together like this … was ruined by the slamming of car doors on the street below.
The police were coming.
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You were so close to him that it hurt.
Maybe it was the worst possible time. Maybe he shouldn’t have dragged you into the closet to hide from hotel security. But the total timespan you had your hands on each other had to be less than five minutes
You reached up. You kissed him. On purpose. At the worst possible time. Jay felt nothing after three months of traveling together. So what?
You turn your face from the desert over to Jay.
Jay.
He’d become your rock, your partner, in three months. You forgot what life was like before you knew him, and you didn’t mind that in the slightest.
He’s seething in the driver’s seat as the two of you tear off into the dark. He’s pissed off, but in a way, only you could tell. Upset. It’s as quiet as usual, but it’s too quiet. An angry quiet. It had to be angry right?
What did he have to be angry about? He kissed you back! He let his hands wander, the same as yours.
He wanted the same thing you did, and now he was sulking. Jay’s the one who pulled away, and he dared to pout about it.
Fucking men. It’s not fair.
You stare at your feet, blue sandals barely on your feet from how he’d practically carried you to the car. He didn’t need to do that. Why did he do that?
“Why did you stop?” You ask, voice flat. If he’s mad, you could be just as mad.
“Stop what?” He tries to voice even. If he wasn’t driving, you were angry enough to slap him.
You shoot him a look that he can feel, even if he doesn’t see it.
“Alright, yes, we’re being chased.”
“They’re three days behind us at least, you didn’t have to stop.” You hate how small your voice sounds, but having Jay’s hands on you felt so good. Life had been difficult, but the one thing that made sense was him.
Jay wasn’t the type to do something just because he could. But he says nothing.
“I guess I’ll just get off all by myself.” You spit, irrational rage bubbling up in your stomach. How dare he? You’re calm and collected, you don’t let men make you act like this. You were prepared to ride your hand in the passenger seat because he worked you up and didn’t finish what he started. It was unlike him, you both knew it.
“Please,” Jay begs,” we need to focus.”
You squint at him as you dip your hands into your jeans, but you pause your hand.
How dare he?
“Are you smiling?” You asked, voice cracking, perplexed. He is.
Irrational rage takes hold of your hands as you reach over and pinch his muscular arm. He barely reacts.
“Just pull the car over!” You make your voice as hard as you can, but it’s too needy. You need him, you need him, you need him.
You’ve noticed Jay doesn’t react to external stressors immediately. It’s a good skill to have in this line of work, but good god you were a balloon that was slowly filled with hot angry air. There are two minutes where Jay decides on paying more attention to you or driving the car when it swerves into the dirt off the side of the road and parks.
He chose you.
“Get out,” he said sharply, face as even as ever. He doesn’t let anything slip, even for you. You might even be scared if it wasn’t Jay, the guy you knew nothing about, but you knew wouldn’t hurt you.
You don’t move.
Jay gets out of the driver’s side and swiftly comes around to open the door. You unclick your belt, the balloon of hot air slowly being deflated. What was left was something that sent pinpricks up your spine.
But you slide out of your seat and stand too close to each other. It’s about a half minute of silence before Jay leans down, putting his hands on your lower back, directing you slowly towards the hood of the car.
You look up at him as he smiles lightly, eyes almost light in the dark. You gasp as he sits you down on the cold metal hood.
“Well, since you want to cum so badly,” Jay pressed a large hand between your legs as heat crept up your cheeks, “why don’t we see how many times I can make you cum right now.”
Against your wishes, you let out a squeak, as Jay took a fistful of your hair and pulled you into a searing kiss.
He’s just as soft as before, and just as overwhelming.
You let his tongue explore your mouth and his hands wander all over your body. Jay’s hands were making your skin burn, the perfect remedy to sitting on the cold vehicle.
There’s thunder in the distance. You always liked the desert, but you love the desert now.
“You want me?” Jay asks, pushing his hair away from his face as he pulls back, sharp nose resting on your neck.
“Yes.”
“Spread ‘em.” He tells you, in a deep tone sending a shock through you, “I’m gonna get you ready for me, but I’m not going to be nice.”
“That’s okay.” You all but whisper, letting his hands wander to your stomach and push you back over the hood. You let out a shaky breath at how cold the hood is, but somehow it’s alright.
You close your eyes as Jay’s long fingers go to your jeans and pull them off slowly. You could scream at how careful he was being, rolling your jeans down, shaking them out, and folding them over the open car door.
So much for not being nice. He didn’t need to be careful with you, and yet he was.
You arch your back as a cool breeze hits the two of you. Jay dips his head down between your legs and inhales, pulling your underwear to the side. He gasps softly.
“Fuck.” He rumbles into your soft inner thigh, letting you dramatically squirm as he tugs gently with his teeth.
Jay’s hand grazes over your damp pussy as you let out a strangled sob.
“About to fuck yourself while I’m driving,” he rumbles into your legs, grabbing your ankle as you kick the air, “desperate for me, aren’t you?”
“Yes.” You let him hook your legs over his shoulders, taking in his hot breath on the exhales onto the most exposed part of you.
“Good,” and without further ado, he takes you into his mouth like he’d been wanting to do since he’d met you.
He doesn’t give you a moment to focus on any one sensation, alternating attention from your clit, to lapping at your juices, to reaching a hand up and lightly squeezing at your chest.
You’re a mess in seconds, twisted, sobbing underneath his attention. He brings his hand back down around your thigh to pinch your clit, making you buck your hips further into his mouth.
He could keep you in his mouth forever if he was being honest. Jay made an extra effort to scratch your sensitive thighs with his beard, you seemed to like that.
You unravel in another minute, relishing how your body goes rigid, and then melts in his mouth, just like he wanted.
You focus on breathing a moment, letting your heartbeat calm, before looking down at two neutral dark eyes, and a glistening beard.
Fuck.
“Enough?” He asks, leaning into your hand as you brush the side of his face. You almost laugh.
“More. I want more.” He said he wasn’t going to be nice, why was he being nice?
So he suddenly gives you a finger, watching your back arch as you try to get closer to his hand. His fingers were so long, you’d thought about this for months.
“Jay, more please.” More. More. More. He had to give you more.
“You want another?”
“Y-yes.” And he gives you two, wondering how it felt to be god looking down on two near-strangers fucking in the desert.
“Need to stretch you out for me, Jannu.” He says, words seeming fuzzy as he picked up the pace, to fuck you with his long fingers. He curls, he scissors, and when your vision goes white, he bends back down and drinks the reward of his vicious pace, scraping out all that he can.
The slurping, the sucking, the scratch of his beard had your mind cleared, and that didn’t bother you at all. How nice it was to be a toy for someone you knew you could trust.
“B-baby.” You struggle to find the words to let him know how good you feel, but Jay moans. He’d been eerily quiet and he moaned when you called him baby. Huh.
“You like when I call you baby?” You ask, softly, tugging on Jay’s hair as he gently runs his beard along the inside of your thigh.
“Yes.” He hums. You smile. Ask. Ask. Ask. Beg if you have to.
“I need your cock.”
“Say please.” You should have seen that coming.
“Please baby,” you plead, eyes glazed over, trying to find him, ”I n-need your c-cock.”
You reach down and take a grip on the shoulder of his green t-shirt, pulling as hard as your arms can manage.
“Off.” It’s the only word you can manage, and he lets you pull the soft shirt over his head, your mouth going dry when you see all of him.
He takes you by the jaw, and as if you had the same thought, Jay spits onto your extended tongue. You make a show of swallowing it eagerly, hopefully enough to make him realize what you are capable of.
You can give as good as you get and he needs to know.
But he doesn’t linger, he just takes a harsh grip on your hips and pulls your legs apart once more. Jay rubbed a long, warm finger over your glistening pussy, thinking for a moment. You’re not sure what about, but you’re losing patience.
As if he answered your question directly, he dips his head between your legs and spits directly onto your throbbing, abused heat. You’re stunned. You let out a mewl and try to writhe away, but he doesn’t let you up, one hand on your hip, the other over you, rubbing his saliva in.
“Like I said, I’m not going to be nice.”
“And I said that’s okay.” Jay bites back a groan at your words. You’re sweet and doe-eyed sitting there staring at him, waiting. You’re soft, even if you don’t want to be.
He wants to sink his teeth into you. Jay wants to eat you alive.
So he does.
Jay moves slowly, deliberately, as if he were going to startle you, but he takes both of your hands and puts them on his waistband. A few tugs later and he’s free.
Holy fuck.
“It won’t fit!” You take him in your hand, tracing your thumb over a large vein. Jay’s eyes are half-closed trying to keep some control. He could be inside you by now, but he’s not gonna break until you want him to.
“I’ll make it fit,” Jay replies as he grabs your wrist.
With a dazed smile, you let him take you.
Jay pushes you back against the hood of the car, your wrists held tightly above your head, mouth on Jay’s as he catches your squeak of pain, and holds you as you squirm under his blunt pressure.
He tugs on your bottom lip with his teeth, knowing well that he needs to distract you while you adjust. You were so fucking tight, he thought he might die, but it was only a minute. He can wait one more minute. He’s going to stretch you out, he’s going to make you forget everyone who came before him. He can wait.
You look lovely staring up at the stars.
Jay pulls back from your mouth a moment, eyes wide. His heart is beating out of his chest, and he looks at your sweet little face, stunned. He lets your wrists go, and you instantly grip his arms, as if you were going to float away.
“Jannu, are you with me?” He asks, softly, almost gently.
“Move,” you gasp, hitting his broad shoulder, “F-fuck Jay, please, please.” And he does, slowly rolling his hips, watching you carefully, trying to enjoy the tears collecting at the corner of your eyes.
You claw at his back, losing your mind, and he’s loving every second of it.
He leans down to kiss you, letting you taste yourself on his tongue, arms wrapping tightly around you, as Jay sets a merciless pace.
If this had been anywhere else, you might have thought to at least try to be quiet, but it's’ the middle of the desert. You’re throwing your head back, sinking your nails into Jay’s back, like it was the only thing you would ever be good for. You wouldn’t mind if it was.
Your vision fills with stars as with every roll of his hips, your breath is stolen, and your spine is being set on fire before it’s too much.
You’re baring down around him soon, letting him explore your mouth however he wants. He catches every “Please, Jay please,” he can, and enjoys every second of it until his hips stutter against yours.
You vaguely feel teeth sink into your shoulder, as you clench around him again.
Jay gets a few more harsh thrusts in as your body goes slack underneath him. The filthy squelching sounds of the two of you, with your sweet gasps. Jay swears it’s music.
You shake as Jay pulls back to watch you, trembling, completely torn apart. Your hair is a mess, your body aching, and beautiful. He did that. Only he can do this to you.
Jay took this opportunity to take your chest in his hands and give each breast a sweet kiss, only to watch you squirm at his beard. You were so weak and exposed, the same as him.
Your eyes are screwed shut as you slowly relax your grip on his broad shoulders. Jay lets out a soft sigh into your neck. The liquid heat is leaking down your legs, you don’t mind at all.
The air is heavy and nothing hurts.
“If we can get to New Delhi, we should be in the clear.” He pants, breath tickling your exposed chest. He’s softer now, draped over you like a blanket. You didn’t ask. You know that he’s got a plan. Even if it never seems to work, at least he has one.
“It’s going to be alright.” He tries, and you tighten your legs around his waist.
“I know.” You breathe, letting yourself exhale as the rain begins to start. He carefully puts you back in your seat and begins to drive again.