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Louis sighed to himself, shutting his locker and ignoring the ‘slam’ that it made. He only had two periods left - History and Physics - but right now all he wanted to do was curl up in his bed and watch some TV before he fell asleep - maybe jack off once or twice, but he was a 17 year old boy, it was normal, okay.
He stumbled his way into History, being one of the first there. He saw his best friend, Harry, sitting at the very back of the room in the corner. He smiled as he saw that Harry’s feet were rested on the seat next to him, saving the place. It was only a month and a half into the year and everybody was still after the back seats. “Hey dude,” Harry greeted the elder with a smirk on his face once he saw the slight bags under his eyes. He knew exactly why Louis was tired and the thought of it made him smile. Though he did still feel a tad bit bad about keeping the other boy out so late. "Hey," Louis replied tiredly, slumping down in the seat next to the curly haired boy once he had moved his feet.
You see, the night before, the pair of teenagers had gone out on a date. It was nothing special, just to the movies and then they went to Harry’s house to cuddle and eat so much junk food that they could barely stand. Even though they had been on 3 dates now, their relationship was still purely platonic, something that Harry was hoping to change soon - he just hadn't really found the right time to ask. He was going to ask Louis to be his boyfriend after their second date, but he only got as far as “will you be my” before Louis had said goodnight to him, pecking him on the cheek and rushing off inside. Harry just assumed that he was in a rush to go inside because it was cold, or maybe he had some homework that he desperately needed to do and that’s why he didn't wait until the younger had finished his sentence. But his behaviour afterwards made him think otherwise.
Harry hadn't tried asking again, granted it had only been two and a half weeks, but for the first few days after he had asked, Louis had been a little off with him. He had said that he was feeling sick and that maybe he ate some dodgy food, but Harry wasn't buying it. The younger boy was convinced it was because of what he had very nearly asked him.
If Harry was being completely honest, he didn't let the slight rejection put him down, after all, they had only been on 2 dates at the time so maybe Louis just thought that they would be moving too fast? Probably, Harry reassured himself.
Things had recovered quickly - they had been best friends for years, Louis wasn't going to let something so little ruin that - the two didn't speak what happened after that, Harry just left it, no matter how disappointed he was and Louis tried to get the image of Harry’s sad face when he rushed inside out of his mind. Of course he felt bad about what he had done, he could have let Harry finish his sentence before he let him down lightly instead of just running off.
It wasn't that Louis didn't want to be Harry’s boyfriend, oh no, it was quite the opposite really. He did want to be with Harry, quite a lot, actually. But he was just wary of one thing in a guy on guy relationship. It wasn't the hate he might receive as nobody in their town really cared if you were gay any more; both of their families were extremely accepting and their school was pretty much a hate free environment so he didn't have anything to worry about in that department. No, he was worried about something a lot more...personal, if you like.
“Louis? Louis?” They boy’s thoughts were interrupted by Harry nudging his shoulder. He clicked out of his daze, blinking his eyes a few times to bring him back to reality. “Huh? Yeah?” He asked, rubbing at his tired eyes while Harry suppressed the small ‘aw’ that was trying to force its way out. “Nothing, you just looked like you were spacing out,” Harry chuckled, looking back down to the notebook that he was mindlessly doodling in. And that was the end of their conversation, Louis kept thinking about the boy beside him and how he was going to avoid answering Harry the next time he asked him that oh so important question.
Maybe he could just pretend not to hear the younger boy and continue the conversation as normal. Yeah, that would probably work, because God knows that Louis found his actual problem far too embarrassing to actually say out loud to his best friend, no matter how long they had known each other.
The bell rang signalling the end of the lesson, Louis stood up tiredly, waiting for Harry to pack away his notebook so that they could walk up to the third floor to their Science classes together. Louis had Physics, whereas Harry was in a different class and had Biology. Louis liked to call the younger boy’s class the ‘class for smart arses’ as there were only about 15 people in it and everyone knew that t was the group of kids that were the best at Science - though the teachers wouldn't actually say it out loud. They didn't want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
“See ya later,” Harry said, reaching over to gently squeeze at Louis’s hand before they went their separate ways to their classes, not missing the small smile that graced the older boys lips and the light coating of red that built up on his cheeks.
--
Louis hadn’t exactly planned spending his Monday night like this. Sitting cross legged on his bed in just his underwear with his duvet draped over his shoulders while he scrolled through the depths of the internet, researching quite possibly his only fear and the only thing that was stopping him from saying yes to being Harry’s boyfriend. It was weird really, Louis thought, lots of people were scared of spiders or the dark, whereas he was scared of something that if he said out loud, Harry would probably laugh at him. It was completely natural, he didn’t really have anything to be scared of, but he just was, it was difficult to explain.
He mumbled the words on the web page out loud as he read it, just praying to God that neither of his parents walked in and saw the article that his eyes were practically glued to, to say that would be embarrassing would be an understatement.
Get to know your body.
The more familiar you are with your body, the more enjoyable anal sex can be. Each person’s sphincter muscles react to penetration differently. Since the muscles control the opening and closing of the anus, you need to learn how yours works. Spend time safely exploring the sensitivity of your sphincter and how it reacts when you are relaxed or tense. Practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing. Use a small sex toy, then gradually increase the size. Exploring the sensitivity of your sphincter is an exercise both you and your partner can enjoy prior to penetration. Openly communicate how you feel in certain situations: What makes you tense? What are your limits? Stop if you feel uncomfortable, experience pain, or bleeding. The more you both know about your bodies, the better your anal sex experience.
Louis was getting pretty into the article, absorbing all of the information that he was given, thought most of it left his head when he saw the one word that stuck out like a sore thumb. Bleeding.
His nerves were eased, however, when he read more into it and found out that bleeding during your first few times was actually quite normal and it didn’t necessarily mean that anything was wrong, he sighed softly, re-reading the article and trying to memorise all the words.
He instantly jumped and clicked off the page when his door opened and his mom walked in with a pile of laundry in her hands. He opened up twitter, figuring that was his safest bet. “Sorry honey, I’m just putting your clothes away,” she said sweetly, kneeling down on the floor and opening up Louis’s drawers to put his t shirts away. While she was looking away, Louis deleted his search history but made a mental note of what website it was in case he wanted to read over it again. Which he probably would, but he’d never admit that to himself.
His phone buzzed underneath his pillow and he was going to ignore it but then it buzzed again, he sighed and reached underneath his pillow, his annoyance instantly fading away and butterflies swarming in his stomach once he saw that it was Harry texting him.
From - Harry
Hey, wanna hang out tomorrow? Mom just got a call from school, the pipes have burst so we’re off for the next few days.
From - Harry
We could go and see that ape movie that you really want to see? :)
Harry sent the second one in the hopes of persuading Louis even more, but he needn’t bother, of course Louis would say yes. He might be petrified of sex with guys, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t really like Harry. Because he did, he liked him a lot, and he was sure that with some time he’d get over his little fear and if he didn’t then he would just blurt it out to Harry one night sometime soon and at least then he’d be admitting it out loud and then Harry wouldn’t be offended about the whole boyfriend thing.
--
If you asked Louis how he ended up here then he’d just look at you with wide eyes and lie and make something up on the spot, probably blubbering and spluttering in the process, he was blaming the article that he read yesterday on it - that and the fact that he had turned up to the cinema 45 minutes early for no apparent reason. He was still trying to convince himself that it wasn't because he wanted to show up early and impress the younger boy.
'Use a small sex toy, then gradually increase the size.'
Louis sighed to himself, pulling the hood on his jacket further over his head just on the off chance that he ran into somebody from his school here. He stuffed his hands into his pockets so that he didn’t feel the need to fidget with them. He felt embarrassed just being seen in a place like this, but as he said, he was blaming the article. He needed to get to know his body and apparently this was the right way to do it.
He scanned the toys on the shelves, he didn’t really know what compelled him to walk into a store called Lust, but he was here now and had been standing awkwardly for about 10 minutes so he wasn't just going to walk out. He kind of had to buy something now.
He was in the dildo section of the store, already scanning to try and find one of the smallest ones, like the article had suggested. After about 10 minutes he managed to find one that was around about 5 inches, so the box said anyway, Louis thought that it looked way bigger though. But that was probably just his nerves. Even though after he had stared at it for a few minutes it still looked to be at least 8 inches.
He sighed to himself again, scuffling his feet on the floor, he looked at his phone to see that he was supposed to be meeting Harry across the street in half an hour and he still had to go and buy all their snacks and drinks and try and fit them all in his backpack. There was no way in hell that he was paying cinema prices for popcorn.
He pushed his nerves aside and picked the box with the toy in up, speed walking to the cashier, he placed it down on the counter and avoided all eye contact with the person currently scanning his item and packing it in black plastic bag. Louis glanced up long enough to be thankful that the bag didn’t have their logo on it, otherwise there would be no hiding it from his best friend.
He paid - way too much if you asked him - for the item before exiting the store and glancing across the street to see that Harry wasn't there yet. Thank God.
Louis shoved the black plastic bag into his backpack, hoping that it blended in and Harry wouldn't ask what was in it if he saw him. Granted, he would probably just start shaking if he did ask and would just say something like, ”It’s not that I don’t want to be your boyfriend, I'm just really worried about anal sex so I bought myself a dildo to try out on myself to see if I’d enjoy it or not.” He never did work well under pressure.
After he had bought all of their snacks and put them in his bag, he moved next door to the cinema, finally seeing Harry leaning up against the outside of the building and Louis couldn't help but just stop and look at the younger. He couldn't deny that he looked hot today - well, he did everyday, but still. He was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans and a dark red t shirt with a light leather jacket to top it all off - not to mention that his hair was styled to perfection.
Louis walked up to the younger, kicking him playfully in the leg to draw his attention away from his phone. “Hey,” Harry smiled, putting his phone away in his pocket and leaning in reluctantly to peck Louis on the lips.
The older boy smiled, feeling a small blush form on his cheeks. Their more-than-friends-but-not-quite-boyfriends relationship was still kind of awkward and reluctant but they were working past it at a steady pace. “You don’t need to hesitate every time, Harry.” Louis chuckled, pushing his fears aside and pulling the younger back for a proper kiss.
“Shut up,” Harry mumbled, a slight blush also forming on his cheeks.
They walked into the cinema hand in hand, ordering their tickets with Harry paying for both of them, no matter how much Louis protested. Though even if Harry did cave in, he didn’t think he’d be able to afford his own ticket after the money that he spent on his latest...purchase.
The movie finished about 2 hours later and now the pair of them were just walking around aimlessly, Louis’s bag felt a lot lighter now that the two of them had eaten all of the junk food and drank all the sodas.
“Louis?” Harry asked, stopping the two of them in the middle of the street.
“Yeah?” The brown haired boy replied, turning to face his best friend.
“Can I ask you a question?” Harry was growing nervous, and Louis hadn’t prepared himself to be asked the question again so soon so he just responded with a ‘go for it.’
“Okay, well, uhm, would you like to be my boyf-”
“Oh! Look! Ice cream,” Louis blurted out a little late, interrupting Harry from finishing his question, he began to walk away and towards the ice cream store, a sulking Harry trailing behind him, their hands still locked together tightly.
--
Once Louis got home he flopped down on his bed straight away, his bag discarded next to him. He breathed deeply through his nose, after him and Harry had gotten ice cream and walked around a little longer, they had parted ways with a tight hug and a peck on the lips - their conversation had been slightly awkward after Louis’s small outburst, cutting their day shorter than it probably should have been.
He groaned into his pillow, he knew that he had messed up, and right now he felt so bad that he just felt like cracking and telling Harry why he was avoiding the whole ‘becoming boyfriends’ situation.
He bit his lip and remembered what he had bought earlier in the day, if he didn’t try it out now then he probably wouldn’t have the guts to try it out at another time. Plus, getting off could release some of the tension he was feeling. He shuffled over to the end of his bed and reached into his bag, pulling the plastic bag out before he took the box out and threw both of the bags on the floor. His parents were out, they had gone to some charity celebration for his dad’s work and they probably wouldn’t be back until later on in
the night.
He lay back on his bed and opened up the packaging to the dildo, pulling it out and chucking the box on the floor, he moved it around his hands a little bit, trying to get used of the feel of it on his skin and the size of it in his hands. It wasn’t that big now that he was holding it,but that didn’t make actually pushing it inside of himself any less scarier, and he knew for a fact that Harry was bigger, hell, they had been best friends for years and Louis had seen the younger naked more times than he would admit out loud.
His t shirt was the first item of clothing to come off, he had already kicked his shoes and socks off as soon as he entered the house. Next were his jeans, he placed the silicone toy down next to him before he began to palm himself through his boxers, he was going to get himself in the mood before he got started because god damnit he was getting off today with or without that dildo.
Soft gasps began to escape his mouth as he felt himself slowly getting hard, he dipped his hand underneath the waistband of his briefs, stroking himself slowly but barely touching himself. He sat further up on his bed, pushing the pillows against his headboard so that he could sit up slightly without having the hard material of it dig into his back.
He pushed the annoying fabric down his legs and kicked them off the floor, he reached into his bedside drawer and pulled out his bottle of lube - dry handjobs sucked. He squirted a little bit on his hand and moved his hand down to his dick, he grasped it loosely, gasping and arching his back when he felt the coolness of his hand.
He began to sloppily jerk himself off, just trying to get hard as soon as possible so that he could move on to what he was really supposed to be doing. “Uhn,” he moaned as his hand tightened around himself, he settled for slow, long jerks, quiet pants escaping his mouth every now and then.
“Oh shit,” He gasped, by now he was fully hard and writhing on the bed, his free hand clutching to the duvet beneath him as his knees drew together due to the pleasure that he was receiving between his legs.
He reluctantly pulled his hand away before he even more reluctantly took the toy in his hand. He must have spent a few minutes looking at it before he finally decided ‘fuck it’ and threw it on the bed beside him again, grabbing the lube again and pouring some over three of his fingers. He’d read an article about this as well - there was no way in hell he was going to skip the ‘prep’ stage and move on to the dildo straight away.
He braced himself as he brought his hand down in between his legs and circled the first finger around his entrance, his muscles instantly tensed as he began to push it in, he knew that he had to relax, otherwise it would just be worse for him in the long run. He pumped the digit in and out at a slow pace - it didn’t hurt, it just felt weird and foreign.
He struggled adding the second finger, it was a tiny bit of a stretch but he managed to do it, groaning lowly at the uncomfortable feeling but otherwise it wasn’t too bad. He started to spread his fingers, stretching himself out because god only knows that the dildo sitting beside him was thicker than his fingers. It wasn’t until he finally added the third finger that he began to feel some pain, there was a dull ache in his lower half as he began to pump his fingers in and out but he pushed through it, remembering that he read that it was supposed to feel good, so maybe he just had to sit through it.
Once the dull ache had subsided, he reluctantly took his fingers out and poured lube onto the dildo, he sighed to himself, his nerves beginning to build up again when he pushed the dildo against his entrance, a whimper escaped his lips as he felt the burning sensation when he began to push it in further. He didn’t even get to push it in all the way before he had to stop because of the pain.
His lower half felt like it was on fire as he pushed it in all the way and granted, it wasn't as long as he was anticipating, but it still fucking burned. “Shit,” he breathed out, thinking back to the relaxation techniques in the article as he breathed deeply in and out, he used his free hand to jerk himself off slowly to take his mind off the pain and distract himself as he pulled the dildo out slowly and pushed it back in even slower.
“Okay, fuck, you can do this,” he tried to talk himself through it, failing that, he let his mind drift off to other things so that his mind wasn't focusing on the silicone up his ass.
“I got this,” he mumbled to himself as the pain subsided and he could thrust the dildo in and out slowly without it hurting, he relaxed into his sheets and let them envelope him as his thrusts increased ever so slightly in speed.
After a few minutes, it actually became to feel quite good, he was used to the feeling of being so full and he was starting to wish that he bought a bigger one so that he could go deeper. He took even more tips from the internet and began to thrust in different directions, his hips bucking wildly and his back arching when he found his spot.
“Shit!” He groaned, a small, devious smile appearing on his lips at the pleasure he was giving himself, so this was how it’s supposed to feel.
His hips ground down on his hand, trying to get his new favourite toy deeper inside of him, his knees drew together once again and he couldn't keep himself still as a string of moans and pants escaped from his lips and into the silence of the room. “Fuck, fuck,” he groaned loudly, thankful that his parents weren't in the house otherwise he was certain that they would hear him. “Oh my god,” he pretty much shouted, his free hand coming up to pull and tug at his own hair.
“Fuck, Harry,” he found himself groaning, pumping the dildo faster and harder into his prostate. Imagining that it was Harry fucking him sent even more tingles down his spine and down to his toes, he liked to think that Harry would be rough in bed with him as he slammed the toy into his spot with a particularly hard thrust.
“Yes, Harry, shit, fuck me,” he was writhing around now, a string of nonsense words escaping his mouth as he tried to form proper sentences but most of what was coming out of his mouth was ‘fuck yes babe’ or groans of his best friends name.
He settled for keeping the dildo inside of him and not thrusting it any more, instead just grinding down on it, making sure that it rubbed against his prostate each time. “Yes yes yes, fuck, need to come,” his hips bucked and he could feel his hair sticking to his forehead due to his sweat. His chest was slicked with it and his palms felt clammy.
He brought his hand down from where it was clinging on for dear life on his pillow, he sloppily jerked himself off, his stomach felt as though it was going to burst as the heat in it increased and he could feel his orgasm drawing closer. “Fuck yeah, Harry, make me come, baby,” he didn't know where some of the things he was saying were coming from, he was never one to be loud in bed but now he was moaning and groaning like a whore. He wouldn't be surprised if he got complaints off the neighbours.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He shouted as his hip bucked for a final time and spurts of come hit his stomach and chest. He collapsed back down on his bed, his hands and legs were trembling and he was struggling to catch his breath; his eyes were closed and he didn't think he would be able to find the energy to even open them for the rest of the night. He whimpered as he pulled the dildo out, his lower half already beginning to feel sensitive after one of them most intense orgasms he’d ever had.
He could feel himself drifting off to sleep and he couldn't even bring himself to care about the quickly drying come on his torso, no, he had his priorities in order. Instead, he grabbed his phone and scrolled down to the right contact before clicking on it to call him.
“‘Ello?” A sleepy sounding Harry said on the other line.
“Yes,” Louis mumbled, smiling shyly.
“What?” Harry asked, he didn't sound so tired any more, just confused.
“Yes, I will be your boyfriend.”