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[Offer You Can't Refuse]

Summary:

He let out a dramatic gasp. "[Hochi Mama] IS THAT YOU???"

Noelle flinched, bewildered by his words. "H-Hochi Mama?! M-Me?!"

"YES! YOU'RE THE BEAUTIFUL [[H-Hochi Mama?!]] WHO READ MY EMAILS!!!" He happily responded, jumping out of his dumpster, and landing in front of her, causing her to take a step back, a blush staining her cheeks.

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"Robot Face Be A Dear And Go Press The Walk Button" Queen told her. "It's Just Over On The Other Side Of The Road"

Noelle stepped out the car, expecting Kris to follow... but they didn't. They seemed to be too busy jamming out to Queen's Mixtape.

So, the deer headed into the alley alone...

 

The moment she was out of sight of the car, she took off the cardboard box so that she could actually see, and breathed a sigh of relief. It was rather stuffy in that thing, hard to breathe.

She walked through the alley, each step echoing in the quiet area, until the loud slam of the dumpster in the center of the alley opening scared her, causing her to yelp and jump backwards.

A strange man rose out of the garbage.

"HEY         EVERY          !! IT'S      ME!!!"

Noelle watched in mild horror as he raised his long nose to the sky. "EV3RY    BUDDY     ' S FAVORITE [[Number 1 Rated Salesman1997]] SPAMTON G. SPAMTON!!"

He laughed, his glasses changing colors, before he finally turned toward Noelle.

He let out a dramatic gasp. "[Hochi Mama] IS THAT YOU???"

Noelle flinched, bewildered by his words. "H-Hochi Mama?! M-Me?!"

"YES! YOU'RE THE BEAUTIFUL [[H-Hochi Mama?!]] WHO READ MY EMAILS!!!" He happily responded, jumping out of his dumpster, and landing in front of her, causing her to take a step back, a blush staining her cheeks.

"B-Beautiful?... H-Hochi Mama?... I-I'm very flattered! B-but..." Her expression shifted to confusion as a realization hit her. "Wait a minute! What emails?..."

"LEGITIMATE BUSINESS! [Fr33 fr13nd f1ndh3r]!! [[Hot Female Santas In Your Area!]]!!" He explained, the last causing Noelle's blush to deepen. But before she could react, he continued. "I EVEN SENT YOU A [Little Blue Gift] AS THANKS!"

"W-wha- I-I-" She stammered, trying to process everything, until she landed on something. "W-wait a minute! The Cat Petterz 2 mod?! T-That was you?!"

"[YES! YOU'RE] CORRECT!" He confirmed. "AND NOW THAT MY [[[Number 1] CUSTOMER IS FINALLY HERE, I HAVE A [Specil] DEAL JUST FOR YOU!"

Spamton reached into his pocket, and pulled out a couple Pipis. "YOU CAN OWN THESE [THE BOYS] FOR ONLY 10 KROMER!"

"K-Kromer?..."

"MONEY"

"O-oh!" She reacted in realization. She did vaguely remember that word showing up in some of those spam emails she got... "I... don't have any on me right now, um, Kris has it all..." She told him.

"THEN GO TO [Kris] AND GET [it all]" He immediately suggested.

Noelle nervously laughed. "S-sorry, I really just need to go press the walk button..." She said, and walked past him.

"YOU'LL [I Always Come Back], RIGHT?" He asked. His tone was surprisingly vulnerable... she felt bad.

"I-I'm kind of with Queen, s-so I don't think she'd let me..." Noelle replied meekly.

She jumped back as Spamton darted in front of her. "WAIT! WAIT!! WAIT!!! DON'T GO! I... I CAN GIVE YOU MORE [Deals]! [Come On!] I'M [[Desperate]] HERE!!!" He said, shaking as he dropped into a praying pose.

"I-I'll try to come back if I can...!" She tried to reassure him, but it didn't seem to do much.

When he made no moves, she slowly walked around him, heading for the exit...

"W-WAIT! WHAT IF I MAKE YOU AN [Offer You Can't Refuse]?"

Noelle stopped. She turned 90 degrees, and looked over her shoulder at him. He was now standing again.

She wouldn't have stopped... but his tone of voice... it made her heart race.

"W-what do you mean?..." She asked.

"FREE SAMPLE OF THE SPAMTON TECHNIQUE!!! GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU      CREAM FOR [Spamton]!" He said, waving back and forth.

Her whole face went beet red. "T-that's!..."

Spamton lit up, realizing he may have a shot here. "COME ON [Angel], AREN'T YOU TIRED FROM YOUR [long] ADVENTURE? DON'T YOU WANT TO [Let off some steam?]"

"W-well... I-I am really stressed, and I saw all those pop ups earlier..." She mumbled, considering it... Before she realized what she was saying. "W-wait! No! I can't! I really need to get back to Kris and Queen! They must be worried about me by now!"

"DON'T WORRY! I CAN MAKE THIS [Lickety-split]!! JUST RELAX AGAINST THE WALL, AND LET YOUR OLD PAL SPAMTON MAKE YOU [[Bustin makes]] YOU [[feel good!]]"

The doe let out a low, nervous whine, as her eyes darted around the alleyway, between the entrance, exit, and Spamton...

She could REALLY use some stress relief...

'B-but what if someone catches me?... This alley isn't exactly public, but it's certainly not private! Anyone could come down here!' She thought to herself.

...something about that was kinda... hot?...

...finally, she let out a long sigh. "P-promise me it'll be quick?..."

"DEAL ACCEPTED, [[Hochi Mama]]! YOU GET YOUR [Quick and Easy] AND THEN YOU [Come back for seconds]!" He said, flashing her an award losing smile.

She groaned at herself internally, already regretting her decision. She backed up to a wall, and rested her back against it.

 

Spamton approached her, and dropped to his short knees in front of her.

Noelle shivered as he lifted her robe, exposing her panties.

She was very glad that this mysterious new outfit came with underwear...

She let out a soft "E-eep!" as he quickly pulled her panties down to her ankles.

"WHAT AN [Angel's Heaven] YOU'VE GOT THERE!"

...he wasn't exactly great at sex talk.

"T-thanks?..." She responded, her heart pounding out of her chest with anticipation...

He leaned in, his long nose angled upwards, resting against her abdomen, and he gave her lower lips a long lick, causing her to tremble, and let out a moan.

She quickly slapped a hand over her mouth to muffle it.

"A-already?" She asked. She had been expecting a bit more foreplay...

"YOU SAID [it'll be quick?...]"

...oh. Right. She did say that. She groaned softly. "R-right, yeah, it has to be quick, just... keep going..." She mumbled, wishing she'd just said screw the risk and let him take his time...

As he continued to lick her pussy like an ice cream cone, she cupped her hand back over her mouth, muffling repeated moans of pleasure.

Despite the speed of this encounter, she couldn't deny that he was REALLY good at this.

So she told him as much.

She uncovered her mouth for just a second. "Y-you're really good at this..." She quickly rambled out, before covering her mouth again.

"THAT'S THE [Power of] SPAMTON TECHNIQUE!!! WITH ENOUGH [Blood, Sweat, and] [[CUM]] YOU CAN BE JUST AS [good] AS ME!"

Before she could even react, he dove right back in, but this time, he took her clit into his mouth.

She let out a small, surprised shriek into her hand, and slammed her other hand over her mouth too, trying desperately to mute her rapidly increasing volume.

She began subconsciously bucking her hips against his face, eagerly seeking more contact, more pleasure...

The doe got lost in her mind, various sexy sights flickering through her head...

Hot female Santas, cute goat boys, purple...

A fantasy of Susie between her legs, eating her out in the school, right on the teacher's desk overtook Noelle's mind, and that was enough for her to reach climax.

She screamed into her hands as her whole body trembled, and her legs wobbled, nearly causing her to fall to the floor.

And that pleasure didn't stop until her orgasm did.

And when it finally did, her eyes creaked open...

To reveal not Susie, and not the school...

But a weird scam guy and a dirty alleyway.

Post nut clarity hit hard.

 

"T-that was... y-you were incredible, really! But, um... I-I should go..." She fumbled, pulling her panties back up to her soaked folds.

"YES! [Go! My Favorite] AND GET THE KROMER, AND THEN COME BACK!" He said.

Her heart skipped a beat. 'That is the deal I took, huh?...'

"R-right... I-I'll be back later!..." She said, still trying to catch her breath from her orgasm, as Spamton wandered off somewhere...

She was gonna need a minute before she could face Kris and Queen.