Work Text:
Leo: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.
Donnie : That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.
Mikey: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?
Raph: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.
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Leo: Can I be frank with you guys?
Donnie : Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.
Mikey: Can I still be Mikey?
Raph: Shh, let Frank speak.
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Leo: *Gently taps table*
Donnie : *Taps back*
Mikey: What are they doing?
Raph: Morse code.
Leo: *Aggressively taps table*
Donnie : *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-
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Leo: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
Donnie : Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Mikey: I personally was created in a lab.
Raph: I just straight up spawned lol.
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Leo: I think Raph was right.
Donnie : I'm surprised they haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'
Mikey: They wouldn't do that.
Raph: You're right, Mikey. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.
Raph: *turns around, the shirt they're wearing says 'Raph Told You So' on the back*
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Leo: Raph , I'm sad.
Raph : *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay.
Leo: Donnie, I'm sad.
Donnie nodding: mood.
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Raph: Dammit, Leo !
Leo : What?! It wasn’t me!
Raph: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Donnie!
Donnie: Not me either.
Raph: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?
Mikey: *whistles*
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Leo: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?
Donnie : Put spaghetti in it.
Leo: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.
Mikey: Put spaghetti in it.
Leo: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.
Raph: Put spaghetti in it.
Leo: I'm no longer taking suggestions.
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Donnie, Leo, and Mikey are sitting on a bench
Raph: Why do you guys look so sad?
Donnie: Sit down with us so we can tell you.
*Raph sits down*
Leo: The bench is freshly painted.
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Donnie: Tonight, one of you will betray us.
Raph: Is it me, Donnie?
Donnie: No, it’s not you.
Mikey: Is it me, Donnie?
Donnie: It’s not you either.
Leo: Is it me, Donnie?
Donnie:...
Donnie, mockingly: Is IT mE Donnie?
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Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
Donnie: Shit.
Leo: Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah?
Mikey: OH MY GOD RAPH FELL OFF!!!
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Donnie, banging on the door: Leo! Open up!
Leo: Well, it all started when I was a kid...
Raph: No, they meant-
Mikey: Let him finish.
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Raph: Why are Donnie and Leo sitting with their backs to each other?
Mikey: They had a fight.
Raph: Then why are they holding hands?
Mikey: They get sad when they fight.
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Donnie: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.
Leo:
Mikey:
Raph:
Everyone Else At Donnie’s Surprise Birthday Party:
Leo: All I asked was if you wanted to cut the birthday cake first....
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Donnie: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?
Raph: Plane tickets?
Mikey: Concert tickets?
Leo: Pr0stitution?
Donnie, holding their broken frames: Glasses.
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Donnie: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.
Leo: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?
Donnie: No! Four to five seconds!
Leo: Too late!!!
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Donnie: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail
Leo: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police
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Donnie: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Leo: You're 15 years old
Donnie: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!
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Donnie: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Raph: You need to stop.
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Raph: How petty can you get?
Donnie: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.