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"Martyn–" Grian whines as he pushes his face against Martyn's shoulder.
Martyn bites the inside of his cheek, he rubs circles on Grian's hips before he nibbles on the shell of his ear.
"Feeling okay, princess?" He asks, thrusting his hips upwards making Grian whimper.
"Don't move yet." Grian says and so Martyn doesn't.
Instead, he pulls back and makes Grian look at him. Honey brown eyes brimming with tears as they stared back at him, Martyn pulled him in for a kiss.
It was slow, intimate and surprisingly gentle. Martyn didn't expect them to end up like this, never did he imagine having sex with Grian– The damned man that he can't stand even on good days– and even if he did, he wouldn't have imagined being gentle with him. Because gentle never seemed to be a word that exists when they're in the same room, doesn't exist because Grian is chaotic and reckless while Martyn –in his humble opinion of himself– is observant and reads. Martyn reads the room and chooses to stay quiet when the situation calls for it, wherein Grian would be the one to step up and turn the situation for better or for worse and usually it was always the former.
Neither of them were gentle, Martyn himself didn't know that he had it in him to be this lenient until he had Grian panting heavily against his shoulder. Perhaps gentleness was just an impulse, perhaps Martyn really didn't have it until tonight when his impulsive decisions had led him to this situation right now. Perhaps being gentle was just a spur of emotion that you'll feel in certain situations because Martyn finds himself sighing and planting a kiss on Grian's temple.
After a few more seconds, Grian pulls back and Martyn meets the gaze of his honey brown eyes. He doesn't speak, not knowing what words to say in this situation they have found themselves in, instead he places a hand on Grian's nape. He watches as the blonde closes his eyes and leaned into the touch.
Martyn does his best to snuff out the feelings whirling in his gut, crowding his chest and making him feel warm. He refuses to acknowledge the fact that he was hoping that this situation, this interaction, this–whatever this is, to be something more. He refuses to acknowledge the fact that he wants this; That he actually feels something else other than complete frustration towards Grian.
The pace was slow, Grian lifted himself up and lowered himself slowly. They both groan at the sensation. Martyn admires the way that Grian throws his head back and moans as he goes up and down slowly on his shaft.
Martyn never was gentle, all past hookups were fast and ruthless. It has always been for chasing that high and he never understood why some of his bedmates would ask him to go slower, would ask him to be gentle. However, now he understands why as he stares at Grian, realizing that he wants this to last, even if it's just for a while.
Martyn feels the desire to go fast and chase that orgasm but it was completely buried by the want, the need to take this slow. He thrusts his hips up, meeting Grian halfway.
"Martyn…" Grian moans his name, his fingers digging into Martyn's biceps.
And it does things to him. It makes Martyn feel things that left him needing more, more of this, more of Grian.
Martyn starts to roll his hips along with the slow pace, he couldn't help but feel pleased when Grian pushes his face against his shoulder–"Mhn~ Right there, Martyn–please." Grian says softly.
"You like that, Princess?" He tries to tease.
"Yea–oh! Yes! Martyn–ah… I like that." Grian moans.
Martyn groans, not expecting Grian to be honest at all and– oh dear, Martyn realizes– that he likes that. He likes the way that Grian says his name so softly, he likes feeling Grian's weight on top of him, he likes the way that Grian's fingers would dig into his skin in a way that would definitely leave some light bruises in the morning. And perhaps Martyn was a little bit in too deep but he finds that he doesn't mind –oh who was he kidding, he fucking likes it.
"Right here?" He asks, changing the angle a bit and thrusts up.
Grian whimpers as his walls clenches around Martyn unexpectedly.
"Please, Please– Martyn, right there…" Grian pleads as he drops down and groans while throwing his head back when Martyn presses against the bundle of nerves once more.
Martyn places wet kisses on the limited amount of skin exposed to him, it wasn't the first time he finds himself frustrated with the red sweater that Grian was wearing but it was the first time that he actually catches himself wishing that he could kiss, lick and perhaps maybe even bite. To leave a mark on Grian, a mark that would remind him of this night whenever he sees himself in the mirror.
"Martyn–" And so he bites Grian just right beneath his jaw.
The pain from the bite along with hitting his prostate must've pushed Grian to the edge because as Martyn licks and kisses his jaw to soothe the mark he left, he feels the warm ropes of cum hit the fabric of his hoodie. Plashing the green with a sticky white that wasn't unwelc–"Sorry," Grian murmurs ever so softly.
Martyn pulls back to meet Grian's gaze, those honey brown eyes look at him shyly, Martyn couldn't make out the colors very well due to how dark the room was but he could swear that was blush on Grian's cheeks.
Martyn sat there contemplating if he should ask Grian to get off now and reach his orgasm–"Come inside… me?" Grian asks in a hushed tone and his eyes avert and look onto the other side of the room.
Martyn couldn't stop himself from feeling warm at the idea– that Grian was shy. He pulls Grian in for a kiss and wasn't able to give a reply after it because Grian immediately starts bouncing on him, roughly.
Martyn wasn't going to lie, this is what he had actually expected from the start, rough fucking. Rough that meant that he could barely catch his breath when thrusting, fucking Grian against the wall until he was whimpering and crying at the overestimation, clawing at his back. But he's got a taste of gentleness now, and he finds that he much likes that than chasing after his orgasm.
He wants Grian on top of him, riding him slowly while his fingers dig deep on his biceps whenever he throws his head back, bottoming out before lifting himself up again only to go back down slowly. He wants Grian under him, his arms around Martyn's neck as he whimpers, whines and moans as he fucks him in a maddeningly slow pace. He wants him pinned against a wall, biting his damned red sweater to muffle the delicious sounds that leave his lips as he eats him out loud.
He puts both his hands on Grian's hips and pushes him down on his shaft, causing Grian to throw his head back and moan at the unexpected action.
"Slow down," he says as he pushes his face on Grian's neck and kisses the bite mark he had left on him.
"Mart–" "Take it easy, princess." He whispers, rubbing circles on Grian's hips.
Martyn then bites his tongue, swallowing back the words that wanted to leave his mouth. It would be too intimate and Martyn doesn't want to admit that–he does like this, he likes the idea of holding Grian close and leaving kisses, leaving love bites on his skin, leaving his mark. However, nothing about this is love and Grian wasn't his.
The sun was on its way up in the sky but Martyn and Grian weren't in each other's embrace, weren't waking up to each other's calm breathing and fingers running through blonde hair. No, Grian and Martyn parted ways during midnight.
When Grian's thighs were painted purple with hickeys, when cum was running down between Grian's legs, when Martyn could feel the scratches along with the bruises forming on his bicep, that's when they stopped.
A chorus of squawks outside made Grian sigh, he glanced at the window before closing his eyes, "Seems like it's time to patrol." He said, his grip on Martyn's biceps loosen and already– Martyn finds himself missing the feeling.
"Give yourself a few minutes." Martyn says.
He doesn't want Grian to leave, he doesn't want this to end yet.
Grian opens his eyes and stares back at him, he leans forward and Martyn doesn't hesitate to kiss, knowing very well that this may be the last time he'll ever feel those lips against his. Not because he'll lose him but because of the immense pride that they both have that makes things difficult for the both of them to communicate.
In reality, this situation shouldn't have happened. They shouldn't have found comfort in other's presence like this, shouldn't have enjoyed this, shouldn't be hesitating to pull apart but they did. It shouldn't have been possible for them but somehow Martyn was impulsive today and Grian had allowed himself to be vulnerable. And instead of coming out of that situation yelling and going for each other's throats, Martyn ended up finding another piece of himself and Grian had been comforted.
He kisses him slowly and gently just like how the rest of their night had gone, Grian's arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer. When they pulled away Martyn cleans them both up.
And that's how it ended, no goodbyes, no promises, no words and no kisses. Grian puts his mask back on his face and grabs his weapons that lay on the floor after he had finished putting his clothes on. Martyn watches him leave, his heart aching, wanting to reach out perhaps to say something but his pride doesn't let him. Instead he sits there in the same cold dark room where Grian had changed his bandages, longing for him yet unable to tell him so.
Martyn grits his teeth as he fires his gun and shoots a few more undead, "Martyn!" He can hear Xisuma calling for him and quickly sprints towards their vehicles and hops on.
The drive back to their base wasn't that long but Martyn finds himself staring off into the distance and thinki–"Dude, what's wrong with you today?" Everyone's attention gathered towards the man that spoke those words.
"I–I didn't mean it as a bad thing!" Ren quickly added and before Martyn could look back out the window again Ren called out to him.
"Martyn, dude, you're acting so weird today." He says.
Martyn rolls his eyes and yet he decides to humor the brunette. "Weird like what?" He huffs.
"Dude, I don't know if it's just me but–dude, you seem grumpy."... Sorry?
"Grumpy??" He asks, bewildered.
Ren shrugs from the passenger seat and looks at him from the mirror, "I dunno how to say it dude," he says.
"But you look a bit gloomy or something–I don't know man." Ren murmurs.
Martyn scoffs and is about to look back out the window when Xisuma pipes in, "Distracted–maybe... I think Martyn is a bit distracted today but not gloomy…" Xisuma says.
Martyn looks down on his lap before he sighs, "Just got a lot on my mind lately," he says.
Silence reigns over them for a few seconds and he can feel Keralis shifting uncomfortably beside him.
"Sharing it might help you with your burden." Scar pipes in from beside Keralis.
The air then was tense, Martyn shakes his head and mutters, "no," softly.
"I just don't want to talk about it," he says as he closes his eyes and lays back against the seat of the car.
Thankfully they soon arrived at their base and he was able to leave the tense atmosphere that was trapped inside that vehicle.
Grian then comes into view as he walks towards them, it seems like he's just finished doing his rounds around the base and had reinforced the fences if the toolbox in his left hand was anything to go by.
It's been four days since Scar, Jimmy, Scott, Joel, Lizzie and the group of children had arrived here in the base. Three days straight of Martyn babysitting the children and two since Grian arrived and helped in fending off the hordes of undead that always came for them, day and night.
Grian had told them the reason why the zombies seem never-ending and would attack day and night. The undead are attracted to loud sounds –which is why Martyn had stopped using his gun and opted to use an axe and crowbar lately– and fire, apparently.
Grian had explained that not all zombies are blind and can easily be attracted by light. And so in order to remedy the situation, started eating earlier and they would settle in their respective rooms before dark. Making sure that there was no noise and no light coming from their base, then cleaning up the wandering corpses in the mornings.
Grian and his scouting team did most of the work, his crows would help them in the mornings, help them on supply runs and lay low in afternoons. The crows would eat alongside them during dinner and deep into the night, when everyone was safe in their own rooms, Martyn would wake.
Martyn, although given the responsibility to take care of the children he refuses to room with them. He hands them over to Lizzie or any of the people that are well equipped to handle them at night. Not because Martyn doesn't know how to deal with their nightmares –although he must admit, that was one of the few reasons too, why he refuses to share his room– but because of the blonde that slides door of Martyn's room open and sits in the corner of the room to take a nap before he heads out again.
The first night Grian slid his door open to take a nap, Martyn grits his teeth and bites his tongue. He remembers the other night vividly, when Grian broke down in tears and Martyn refused to let him go and so, he refuses to let it happen again. He remembers attempting to light a cigarette before ditching the idea, not wanting to risk the smoke somehow attracting the undead back to their base.
"Sorry for bothering you…" he hears Grian murmuring softly.
And he let it go, refusing to look at the other man and decides to stare out into the window until one of his crows squawk and Grian heads out.
That night Martyn couldn't sleep as he hears Grian's whistle echoing from the distance along with the caw of his crows. He sees the faint light from a far and he discovers in the morning that Grian had slipped out of their base just to lure away the horde of undead that was starting to flock around their base's fence, by lighting a building on fire and eliminating a big chunk of the undead from the surrounding area.
The next night, Grian slides open his room's door just as Martyn was about to hit the hay, just as Martyn decided that it was time to unfold his cot and rest.
Grian had brought several blankets and a comforter, he goes to his usual corner, sets it up and sleeps. Martyn finds himself dozing off a few seconds after he had laid on his cot and jolting awake when he hears the door sliding open and closing. He finds himself staring out the window and unable to sleep after Grian had left. He listens to the sound of crows and the whistles until the sun was on its way up the sky and it was time to patrol.
Then last night –Martyn could feel his heart aching– when he had followed the impulse to confront Grian about it, they ended up having sex.
"I'm sorry," Grian apologized like he had a control over the matter.
"I'm sorry, I won't bother you again after tonight." Grian had promised.
Martyn didn't know what came over him but the next thing he knew was that he was kissing Grian. He was pushing him up against the wall and he tries to wipe away the tears streaming down his face.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall for you." Grian cries.
And it hurts. Martyn doesn't like it–he hates it, the way that Grian was apologizing, the way that Grian was crying, like it was his fault– like he had committed the biggest crime.
Martyn's kisses turn into something heated, something much more when Grian gives in and allows himself to live in the moment. They–"I'm leaving for a while." Grian announces, handing Xisuma the toolbox that he had in his hads.
"Wha–why so sudden!?" Xisuma questions, panicked, he doesn't take the toolbox instead, he holds onto Grian's hands.
"Gri, is something wrong?" Keralis asks.
Martyn swallows back the words at the tip of his tongue and tries to ignore the guilt filling his lungs.
"Yeah, a few of the crows from my base arrived, telling me that they ran out of food and that my plants are getting 'weird' or so they say. I have to check it out." Grian said, laughing awkwardly as he tries to pull his hand away from Xisuma, the man doesn't let him.
"Hey, if you need any help, a few of us can go–" "No," Grian flat out declines, shaking his head and sighs.
"It's best you guys stay still for a little while. Get some rest and whatnot. You've just survived a five day war with the undead, I say you lay low and recuperate." Grian said before he breaks free from Xisuma's grasp and proceeds to put the handle of the toolbox into his hand.
"Sorry," Grian says softly.
And Martyn's thoughts immediately come running back to the memories of last night, playing behind his eyes and making him feel as if this–this wouldn't have happened if-if he'd only told Grian how he fel–"I have to go but I promise I'll be back, I just need to fix things, yeah?" Grian says as he looks up as Xisuma's eyes.
Xisuma sighs and hugs him, Martyn's fingers tremble. That could have been him hugging Grian instead of–Martyn bites the inside of his cheek until he tastes blood. He shoves his hands into his pockets and walks off, he doesn't bother glancing back, even when Ren starts cursing him for his bad manners.
He was restless for the whole day, so restless that even the kids recognized as much.
"Why are you so fidgety today?" Gian asks while pointing an accusing finger at him.
Martyn stares at the child, thinking of what to say in response before he settles with a shrug and a sigh, "Just tired," he says. Looking away from the eight year old girl.
Her honey brown eyes, her hair hazel-ish color hair– she looked like a replica of Grian and it leaves a sour taste in his mouth. Not to mention her name, Gian. Just a letter short of becoming the name that he'd come to loathe yet –Martyn takes a deep breath and tries his best not to snap– he somehow longs for.
Martyn doesn't want to admit it, never wants to ever say it out loud but –I've fallen for him too, haven't I?
"You look like shit," The gasps that erupted from around them makes Martyn laugh, even if it's a bit forced.
"That's because I feel like shit, Garrett." He replies, turning to look at the twelve year old boy sitting beside his twin sister.
Grian's eyes stares back at him, only they were four pairs of them, either staring at him eerily, glaring at him or just examining him curiously.
"Where's moOom?" Their eyes all snap towards Mika who was whining.
"Mom?" Martyn asks, bewildered.
"Yeah! Sir Grian, we couldn't see him anywhere!" Michael pipes in, pouting.
Martyn feels his heart aching at the name, he bites his tongue before he sighs and calls out to Lizzie. He can't deal with this, not today.
"Hey! Why are you leaving?!" Mika yells after him.
Martyn runs his fingers through his hair before he stands up and allows Lizzie to occupy his seat.
"I'm exhausted," was all that he said before he started walking away, ignoring how the children were yelling for him.
He heads to the rarely used building that his room was situated in. Well–his room now, he had to give up his old room and gave it to Joel, Lizzie and Scar who needed to be close to the children, who just happens to be sleeping at the room next to them.
This building only had two people occupying it, Doc who was at the highest floor where his lab was situated in and him, who had found the abandoned classroom unlocked and had now claimed as his room.
He slides the door open and closes it behind him. The sunlight can barely enter from the edges of the windows, it wasn't that dark but it wasn't too bright either and Martyn finds his eyes drifting towards the corner.
"Damnit," he curses, feeling guilt carving out his chest.
It hurt, oh, how it hurt to see the comforter and the piles of blankets in the corner that Grian had set up the other night.
Before he could stop himself, he finds himself laying down and burying himself in blankets. Martyn takes a deep breath and he smells the strong scent of coffee. He then remembers Grian's statement as he pushes his face against the blankets.
You… haven't been sleeping well, have you, princess? Martyn thought, as he smells the strong scent of coffee sticking onto the sheets.
And for the next few days, Martyn finds himself unable to sleep properly even when the threat of zombies breaking into their base had been dealt with, even when he had the room all for himself. He tosses and turns in his cot and the only way he finds himself drifting off to an exhausting sleep is when he's curled up against Grian's corner of blankets.
When Grian returns, he has Grey on his shoulder and he cooks a warm meal using the vegetables that he grew and harvested in his own base.
Martyn savors the taste of the simple vegetable soup, not only because it's the first time in a few months did they ever taste vegetables again. It's because he could feel as if the part of himself longing for Grian was rejoicing at the fact that the blonde had made a warm meal for him, just like when he had decided to leave the circle of Martyn's arms that night and left him a warm and complete meal to wake up to and a note to remind him to change his bandages.
That night, when he was to return to his quarters, deciding to call it a night even when it's still early. He finds the blonde in his room, sitting in the same corner with the blankets that he'd curled up in nights where all that was running in his mind were the memories of Grian in his arms.
Martyn almost panics, not wanting that small corner of blankets and comfort to suddenly disappear once Grian decides that he'll leave Martyn alone and find another room to occupy. He was ready to plead for him to stay, only to get the air punched out of his lungs when he finds Grian sleeping, not even laying down.
He must've been exhausted. Martyn thought as he slowly approached Grian's sleeping figure, he feels uncomfortable, he feels scared. Because he didn't want to Grian to wake up and get up to leave him. He didn't want to get rejected and– Martyn tries to swallow back the tight knot of emotions lodged in his throat– he didn't want to lose him.
Martyn's eyebrows furrow in frustration as he sees the dark bags underneath Grian's eyes.
Why haven't you been sleeping better? Why–shouldn't you be able to get more sleep since you got back to your base? Since it's more safe there? More quiet? Martyn's mind ran with questions as to why Grian seemed more exhausted now than ever.
Martyn feels worry whirling in his chest, almost suffocating him. He only had a few fears since he was a child, he didn't fear dying however he feared of losing everything even before he was a corpse, buried under the dirt. And right now, it felt as if Martyn had everything on the line.
He quietly sits beside the man once he took off his shoes, the intense need to get close, to feel that Grian was still there had over powered the fear of losing everything at once.
"I've missed you." He murmurs, ever so softly.
In a sudden moment of impulsiveness, Martyn throws all the caution into the wind and decides to push his face against Grian's blonde hair. His eyes widen at the strong scent of coffee, his fingers tremble and clench as he tries to stop himself from pulling Grian into his space and just hold him.
"I missed you," Martyn repeats, trying to stop the feeling of false relief from overcoming him.
Martyn finds himself waking up to find Grian in his arms that morning. His grip around Grian tightens once get realizes it, that he has him in his arms again, that he was holding him again.
Sunshine was seeping into the room from the edges of the windows, it wasn't bright outside yet but Martyn knew that it would be in a few minutes.
Martyn sighs and pushes his face against Grian's hair. That was the best sleep I've had in days, Martyn realizes.
Just as he feels like he was starting to doze off again, He feels Grian shifting in his arms, he forces his eyes open and pulls back a bit to look at him. He watches as Grian blinks his honey brown eyes, the hints of sleep and exhaustion still there.
"Good morning," Martyn greets him, watching as recognition and panic fill Grian's eyes.
And before Grian could get away from him again, Martyn immediately pulls him closer. He presses a kiss on his forehead like a mark or a sign, or something just– "Sorry for intruding your space," Martyn finds himself saying, his mind immediately thrown into panic at the thought of losing Grian.
He bites his tongue and tries to ignore the way his heart aches, instead, he focuses on Grian's breathing. It was measured and not by any means calm, perhaps Grian was also holding himself back from asking many questions.
"I missed you." He says, the truth in his words hurt him.
He doesn't know what is it that's keeping him from saying all the words he's keeping to himself. Was it fear? Was it his pride?
A moment of silence passes and Martyn takes comfort in the fact that Grian hadn't tried to leave yet.
"Why?" Grian then asks.
Martyn feels something dreadful curling in his gut, his feelings whirl in his chest and it takes effort to control it.
"I–..." Martyn bites the inside of his cheek, almost swallowing his confession, thinking that perhaps it was better if he left it unsaid.
"I like you too–romantically, and I've missed you." Martyn confesses hastily, dread then starts to creep up on him.
Grian sighs, Martyn wonders if he was relieved be–"You don't have to force yourself, Martyn. We both know that you don't." Grian murmurs against his neck.
And it stuns Martyn, it makes him think again, makes his mind run wild because–"Don't pity me, don't say that to let me down softly, it's okay." Grian murmurs as he extracts himself from Martyn's hold and sits up.
"I know you can't return my feelings, I never expected you to." Grian sighs before he gets up.
Martyn snaps out of his frozen state when he hears the door slide open then close, he bolts up in a sitting position but Grian was already gone once he got his bearings back.
Martyn starts cursing his own name, cursing himself becaus–"Why was I so scared? Why–why did I hesitate??" Martyn asks himself as he runs his fingers through his hair, frustrated.
Martyn heads down to the circle an hour–maybe several hours later. Martyn doesn't know and he doesn't think he cares.
"Dude, you're so out of it." Martyn flinches and turns to see Ren leaning on a wall with his arms crossed over his chest.
"I've been calling you for a solid minute now," Ren says and Martyn stops himself from fulfilling the want to bang his head on the nearest wall.
"You're so much worse today, what's going on, man?" Ren asks as he approaches him.
Martyn swallows back the frustrated words that want to leave his mouth and instead shakes his head.
"I–... I'll find a way to explain it… when I get the chance…" Martyn murmurs.
His ears pick up on that familiar deep baritone -Doc his mind supplies- and becomes curious–"Do you want to sleep in my lab tonight?" Martyn's eyebrows furrow.
He had to stop himself from running towards the voice when he heard it.
"Yeah… I might just start pestering you tonight…" Grian says softly.
Martyn bites the inside of his cheek–"It's Grian, isn't it?" Ren asks.
Martyn must've looked helpless because he'd never seen Ren look at something with so much concern than how he was staring at him right now.
"I–... I think I just broke his heart…" Martyn murmurs, looking down at his feet and taking a deep breath.
"And you feel guilty?" Ren asks.
Martyn didn't know Ren's could be that soft and hushed. He shakes his head.
"I think I like him but…fuck, I don't know." Martyn runs his fingers through his hair and starts to breathe heavily as he tries to hold in the emotions that are whirling from his gut to his chest and crowds his thoughts.
Martyn flinches violently when Ren puts an arm around his shoulder and whispers, "Let's go to a more secluded area, yeah?" And Martyn nods.
"I've always thought there was something between you two." Ren says, once they were at the edge of the base grounds and we're under the shade of a tall tree.
Martyn sighs and pats his pockets to grab his cigarettes and a lighter.
"There's nothing between us–" "But there's tension." Ren cuts him off.
Martyn huffs and takes a cigarette out of the pack and puts it between his lips.
"Dude, Impulse was there when you put a gun to Grian's head." Martyn pauses, he glances at his companion as he lights his cigarette, wondering where this conversation was going.
"You guys started off in the wrong footing, yeah, yeah but look at Grian and Etho, man. Etho led a damned hoard to Grian and lost the bat that Grian gave him. And yet look at them, casual, maybe a little aloof." Ren rambles. Martyn shoves the pack of cigarettes back in his pocket along with the lighter.
"Then look at you two, always going for each other's throats even if there's no reason t–" "I'm petty and he's petty, we go for each other's throats because we don't want the other to win." Martyn huffs.
"Exactly man, you don't want him you win, and whys that?" Ren asks.
"Because his arguments are dumb–" "If it was anyone else you'd let it go." Ren cuts him off.
"Ren," Martyn calls out to him, taking his cigarette away from his lips and puffing out a cloud of smoke.
"Where are you going with this?" He asks.
Ren's eyebrows furrow as he crosses his arms over his chest and stares at him for a good while.
"Grian always had liked you."
"No he doesn't."
"Yes, he does." Ren retorts.
Martyn rolls his eyes and puts the cigarette back between his lips and–"He doesn't banter aggressively with anyone as he does with you, he might've only realized now that he had feelings for you but I know that even Xisuma was getting frustrated for you." Ren rambles.
"Xisuma is over reacting–" "Xisuma knew Grian when they were in college, knew how Grian acted in certain situations and I heard Xisuma swear to the moon and the stars that this is the first time Grian has acted like how he does with you." Ren says.
"And so what if Grian likes me? I really don't see–" "Fucki–You like him too!" Ren yells.
"For the love of the stars above–Man. Martyn, you like him too, there's no doubt about it. I see the way you roll your eyes and smirk whenever you finish arguing–"
"That's because I'm winning-!"
"–I see the way you become more alert when Grian is on our supply runs, the way you always guard his back even when–"
"Ren, you know how careless that guy is, he'll jump head first into a hoard of zombies–"
"And you'll jump head first into that same horde to save him!" Ren retorts.
"Martyn," Ren calls out to him, his tone defeated.
"If you don't like Grian then fine, dude. Tell me then," Ren says.
Martyn huffs and pulls his cigarette away from his lips to puff out a cloud of smoke.
"Will it be okay for you if Doc shots his shot?" Martyn freezes.
There's no denying it.
Grian and Doc had chemistry right off the bat. Doc speaks so calmly about his machines and all his technical stuff while Grian nods along and throws in his suggestions into the mix –Martyn swallows back his jealousy– they'd make a good team, on over powered one at that. Doc already having a background with doing surgery and Grian sticking to his medical books and instincts. Doc who takes interest in machines and Grian who's good at inventing and creating things. And it would make sense if they became a couple, Doc is calm and collected, a total contrast to Grian's reckless and chaot–"Yeah…"
Martyn bites the inside of his cheek, not really believing his own words but he continues on anyway.
"Yeah, It's not like I care about him… anyway…" Martyn blinks, feeling his chest tighten with guilt and jealousy.
"Damnit man, why are you hurting yourself?" Ren snaps, grabbing Martyn by his shoulders and shaking him.
"I can see the way that you're lying to yourself right now, how much it hurts for you to think about it. Why not just admit it already dude? That you like him too." Ren asks, absolutely frustrated.
"Ren, you don't know–"
"Of course I don't know, now start spilling it so I can understand! Why the fuck are you avoiding the truth, man? Why do you no–" For the first time in his life, Martyn runs away like a coward.
He drops his cigarette and runs away from Ren like his life depended on it, he runs away from his problems momentarily and he tries to hide.
Grian doesn't slide his door open that night and Martyn ends up curled up against the blankets that Grian had set up, tears streaming down his face.
Martyn curses, he doesn't know if it's his luck or the people of the base set him up for this but when they drew straws, he got the shortest one and he's going out of the base to grab some supplies with Grian.
With Grian.
Out of all of the people that volunteered to go scouting today, it was the damned person that he doesn't want to see.
He could see that even Grian was uncomfortable with the set up but Keralis and Xisuma are tied to base duties and cannot volunteer to switch places with him. Doc refuses to leave his lab today because of a progress with his crystal experimentation, Etho isn't aware of the whole fiasco and is unwilling to team up with Grian on expeditions because they turn out to become a duo of bad luck, Tango and Impulse cannot and don't want to switch places because of the fact they were the ones to get supplies last week, Zedaph isn't allowed outside.
Then there was Lizzie and Joel who take turns watching over the children so they can't go on supply runs, Jimmy and Scott were off limits because they were recovering from injuries from heading out to get supplies before them but failed because of the huge amount of zombies that they encountered and Scar–well... He was Scar so no, he isn't allowed to go out.
Grian volunteered to go grab supplies for the people in the base on the grounds that he knew how to get around the city better because he travels back and forth between this base and his own. Added to the fact that he has a whole gang of crows that can both scout and deal a lot of damage, should Grian order them to–
"Can't I just go out on my own?" Grian asks.
Martyn could feel the weight of Xisuma's gaze as he glances at him, likely calculating, estimating or just straight up judging him. Martyn wouldn't put it past the guy, Xisuma can be a bit too protective over Keralis what more if it's Grian that we're talking about?
"I volunteer," They all turn to look at Ren who was leaning on a wall and was putting his gloves on.
"Ren...?" Xisuma pipes in suspiciously, his eyes narrowing on the brunette.
"One is lonely, two is two intimate, three is a crowd. I thought that maybe Grian would be more comfortable in expeditions if he has more people with him, don't you think? Flock and all?" Ren says with a cheeky smile.
That was all that Martyn needed to know that yes, this guy did set him up to this.
"That's not how it works although I appreciate the thought, if we're talking about flocks we have patte–" "Great, I appreciate your company as well, Grian. Let's get going, then?" Ren cuts Grian off.
Martyn's eyes narrow on Ren. Whatever this bastard was planning, it wasn't good and he doesn't know what to expect out of it.
Grian looks pleadingly at Xisuma and Keralis and they both look at each other before Xisuma sighs dejectedly and Keralis looks at Grian and shakes his head.
Martyn feels guilty, watching as Grian's brows pinch together in frustration and his honey brown eyes seem to gloss over with unshed tears.
"Fine," Grian murmurs as he shakes his head and turns his back on them.
"Alrighty the–" "I hope you can keep up then." Grian cuts Ren off.
Then there was fluttering and feathers.
The crows croon and squawk out words that is incoherent to Martyn as he stares, eyes wide as he finds himself mesmerized at the huge black wings that sprouted from Grian back.
"I won't wait for you, so keep up." Grian says.
Martyn is speechless as he watches Grian take to the skies.
There was a few seconds of silence, Martyn appreciates the fact that they were all equally shocked at what they saw and no one has the guts to sa–"So he finally revealed himself, huh?"
They all turn around to see Doc looking up at the sky, his hands in the pockets of his coat and looking far too relaxed.
The Doctor then turns to look at both him and Ren.
"You should start sprinting now if you wish to keep of with him. Grian is not only fast but incredibly good at maneuvering around obstacles." Doc says, there was a slight quirk to his lips. It was shy of a smile but it shows that not only is he found of Grian, he knew that the masked blonde–
"You knew that Grian had wings?" Xisuma asks, breathless and still recovering from the shock.
"Was it a secret? I thought it was obvious ever since Grian started wearing that black sweater and the fact that he seem to be teleporting with how fast he gets here." Doc replies before he looks away, "But I suppose it wouldn't be that obvious unless you keep tabs on him."
Jealousy, Martyn can't deny the fact he was jealous over the fact that Doc knew about this first, about the fact that Grian has wings. Martyn knows he doesn't have the right to be jealous, the right to feel like he's been wronged or Grian owed him this information. Jealousy is an irrational feeling that either makes you self destruct or see everything around you with red tinted glasses.
"If that's the case..." Finds himself speaking, Jealousy simmers under his skin and makes him boil with the need for violence.
"I guess we have to catch up..." He murmurs.
He does remember walking away from the base but it feels incredibly detached like he was underwater and the only thing he could feel was jealousy and guilt, intertwining with each other and feeling a light buzz under his skin.
"Martyn!" He hears Ren yelling after him but he was sprinting.
He hasn't felt like this in a long while, the feeling of detachment and not in control of his own emotions. He grits his teeth as he feels the ache, the need for violence.
It's been a while since he felt like he wasn't really like himself but right now he couldn't find it find it in himself to care.
His ears pick up on the sound of crows and he follows, heaven knows that he's giving then a hard time but he doesn't care no, not today.
He turn to a corner to find Grian floating, his wings flapping behind him as he shot down zombies from below, three arrows shot each time and hitting their targets so precisely that one would think that he was Cupid.
He doesn't run into the crowd of zombies, knowing that Grian didn't like it when someone just suddenly enter his firing range.
But who cares, a voice in his head sang.
Martyn grits his teeth, it would be so easy to get shot by one of Grian arrows when he steps in, so easy to die in the winged man's mercy –he won't, Grian is too good at his bow to allow such a mistake and he know this too well– it would be so easy to get injured again and get wrapped in bandages again and–"Stop staring and help me you bastard!" Grian yells.
Martyn swallows back the guilt and runs into the crowd of zombies, he starts cutting them down with the butcher knife –Grian has a butcher knife sheathed by his hip, Martyn thinks that it wouldn't be really useful for the man seeing that he was flying in the mids– an arrow whips past him, hitting the zombie who lunged for him.
Some time later Ren joins him in killing the undead but majority was already brought down by arrows and strikes, they're just cleaning up before heading into the supermarket.
Grian lands on the ground and Martyn watches as those black wings fold into themselves and somehow vanish into the small of Grian's back.
The air was tense, he could tell that Ren was concerned. His scent indicated so but Martyn never really bothered to check on the brunette, he could go do that another time but not right now, not when he's following Grian into the darkness of the store.
Grian turns to look at him and he can feel the uncertainty radiating off of him.
"I'll be on lookout," he finds himself saying, Grian's eyes narrow on him yet something about his scent tells Martyn that he's only confused and not at all upset with him.
"The crows can take care of that..." Grian murmurs before he scoffs and shakes his head.
Grian turns his back to him, Martyn couldn't really focus how Grian summons items out of thin air, rather, his attention is placed on the small of Grian's back
They get meet a big hoard
Ren is in danger, Martyn gives him backup but then Grian gets cornered, Martyn steps on a crystal while running and the dust gets into his skin a little triggering his transformation
Martyn turns info werewolf and goes berserk, jumps in front of Grian and attacks many zombies
Grian is petrified, Martyn tries to get closer but he sniffs fear from him and is upset, wanting to know why Grian is so scared of him now
Grian is gets it together a few seconds after and then he tells Ren that they should head into his base first and lured the zombies away
They head to Grian's base
"Grian," Martyn calls out to Grian
Grian looks at him and he still has the hesitant, frightened face that makes Martyn whimper and ask why he's so scared of him now
"Your kind lead my clan to extinction," Grian replies and walks away
Martyn is upset and heads out to patrol and clear his head but Ren follows him and they end up in trouble
Grian rescues them but Ren has a sprained ankle
Grian tells them that he's heading back to their base to warn the others of what happened
Martyn and Ren tell him no but Grian still goes
When Grian comes back it's midnight already but Martyn is still awake
due to instincts
Grian goes to shower and Martyn follows
"Martyn...?" Grian whimpers, his back pushed against a wall.
Martyn swallows back the knot lodged in his throat, He wants to speak but he couldn't find the right words to make up a sentence. So he steps forward.
Grian grits his teeth, staring at him with so much intensity that should scare him, that should make him feel the instinct to fight back–Grian dislikes him, dislikes werewolves– and yet it doesn't.
He takes another step, Grian screeches at him as a warning. He takes another and another and–"Martyn, don't you dare take another step closer." Grian warns him, his talons out and ready to attack.
Grian was within arm's length, if he wanted to hurt him–if both of them had the intention of hurting the other, they couldn't have gotten this close to each other without going for each other's throats.
So Martyn takes another step closer, he catches the arm lunging for his throat and they both stay still.
Martyn can hurt him, can end Grian's life right then in there, knowing very well that he was a werewolf and had more of an advantage now that he has the avian backed against a wall. Grian could hurt him, lunge at him again and let his sharp and long talons cut where they can reach. But they both stay still.
Martyn brings those sharp talons up to his face, he watches as Grian's eyebrows furrow in confusion and frustration. He watches as a shimmer of worry come across Grian's eyes that very moment that he pushes Grian's palm–and by extension his talons– against his face and nuzzles his cheek against it.
Grian burns warm, the kind of warm that feels like you're wrapped comfortably in a blanket during a very chilly day. Martyn pushes his nose against Grian's palm, not breaking eye contact and watching as Grian's face warp into genuine worry.
Grian tries to pull his hand back but Martyn whimpers at him, it makes Grian freeze and look at him with a face of absolute desperation and worry. On any other occasion, Martyn wouldn't like it, the way that Grian looks so absolutely wrecked and concerned but this time he was the cause of it, Grian was worrying about him and nothing else could beat the feeling of that.
"Martyn–" "Mhm?" Was all that he could reply with.
He closes the distance between them, trapping Grian against the wall and once Grian takes notice of what he was doing he tries to get away.
"Martyn–!" "Mate," he hums, watching as Grian blinks then looks up to stare directly into his eyes.
"What...?" Grian murmurs, unaware.
Martyn pushes him against the wall, his hand reaches down to hold Grian's bare body.
"Mate," he repeats instinctively before leaning down and bumping his nose against Grian's.
"My mate." He finally says before pressing his lips against Grian's.
They stay there for a few seconds before Grian places his arms between them, trying to push him away, trying to create some distance.
"Martyn–" Martyn shuts him up, he swallows the sounds that leave Grian's mouth.
Grian pushes him, not too hard that he's stepping back a few. Grian pushes him just enough to pull away and gasp, he stares right up into Martyn's eyes, his brows furrowing.
"Does the transformation have side effects? it seems to that you're really confused." Grian murmurs.
And Martyn admits, he is a tid bit confused, he's wondering why his mate doesn't want to kiss him back, why does Grian not want him now?
Martyn whimpers, the ears on top of his head pull back and flatten against his blonde hair.
"Martyn, what do you–?" "Want you." Martyn murmurs as he takes Grian's arms that are between them and puts them on his shoulders.
"Mine, mate..." He says, slowly lowering his head to nuzzle against Grian's neck.
Grian tenses against him and he whimpers, not liking the way Grian was so terrified of him. He pushes his face against Grian's neck, nuzzling and scenting him.
"Martyn, what's wrong??" Grian asks, his voice soft as he cards his fingers through Marty's hair, in between his wolf ears and he massages his scalp just right– Martyn feels like he's about to collapse with how weak his knees feel like right now.
"I want you, I want my mate." Martyn rumbles as he licks Grian's neck and nibbles.
Grian tenses, his fingers digging deep into Martyn's shoulders and it feels so right.
"Sex...?" Grian asks hesitantly, perhaps confused but Martyn can tell that Grian was a tid bit embarrassed from the way his scent shifts from smelling like the forest and mint mixed with smoke with the undertone of gun powder, to smoke and leaves with a tone of lemons.
Martyn bites Grian's neck softly and sucks, he could tell that the action could very well tip Grian off the edge with how cautious and jumpy he has been, but Martyn needs it, he need to feel him, taste him, know that Grian was there and he wouldn't lose him.
He pulls away from the abused skin with a pop, "I want you, Want to hold." Martyn says before pulling away from the forming bruise and staring into Grian's eyes.
"You." Martyn says, Grian's eyebrows furrow in confusion and frustration.
"I'm not your mate." Grian tells him and Martyn frowns.
"Why?" He asks.
Grian said he loved him a few weeks ago, does he not love Martyn now?
Grian's eyes narrow on him, "You–... Martyn, seriously–" Martyn whines at him.
"You're mine," Martyn murmur and pushes his forehead against Grian's.
"Please?" Martyn murmurs, bumping their noses together.
"... This is a werewolf mating thing, isn't it?" Grian asks.
Martyn's heart jumps and pumps and runs a few beats faster than is normally would–Grian was getting it–he was picking up on his–"Martyn, I'm–I'm not your– hahhh..." Grian sighs.
"Martyn, I'm an avian, I can't be your mate." Grian says, Martyn growls.
"Why?" Martyn grits out–utterly frustrated. Why are things going this way? Why was Grian denying him.
"You're a werewolf, werewolves kill avians." Grian whispered, uttered so softly and shakily that it makes Martyn's heart drop down to his stomach, a feeling of despair and sadness coiling around his gut.
"I won't," Martyn promises.
"I won't hurt a feather." Martyn nearly pleads.
And Grian laughs but it was mirthless, it sounded like sobs being held back–like a fork grinding against a chalkboard.
"You can't be assured that you won't." Grian says, his tone shaky and a tid bit too high pitched that Martyn was sure that Grian was on the verge of breaking down once more.
"You can make me not." Martyn says, desperately trying to find a way to convince Grian–to salvage the situation and somehow comfort the crying man in his arms, to hold and love and cherish his other half.
Grian looks up at him, tears gathering at the corner of his eyes, threatening to fall, Martyn can feel the grip on his shoulders tighten and it wrenches him backs to reality.
He can't be emotional in situations like this, he can't rush things when his mate really needs comfort. He has to think, to calm and convince, not plead and cry, adding to Grian's inner turmoil.
"You can mark me, bind–contract," Martyn says softly.
"You can make me not hurt you." Martyn says, sliding his arm behind Grian's back and pulling him close.
Grian lets out a shaky breathe.
"Martyn, you don't seem to be in the right state of mind to enter a magical binding contract nor to do anything at all." Grian says.
Martyn whimpers and pushes his lips against Grian's, taking him by surprise.
"Please," he says against Grian's lips.
And Martyn recognizes that its at that exact moment that Grian gives in.
It's when Grian sighs and kisses him back. It's when Grian goes pliant and allows Martyn to hook his hands behind his knees and lift him up–allows him to taste him, allows him to kiss, lick, nibble and bite on his skin and allows him to enter.
"Martyn–!" "Mhm..." He hums, tilting his head slightly upwards to meet Grian's gaze.
Tears are streaming down his face and it makes Martyn's gut churn. He'll fix that, he promises, as he inches forward and kisses Grian's cheeks and down to his neck and shoulder blades.
Grian's hands held his shoulder in a nice–vice like grip and he loves it. Knowing that it was Grian, knowing that it was his mate, knowing that it was his other half that he has pushed against the wall and was holding onto him like they were each other's lifelines.
He starts to thrust upward slowly, Grian throws his head back, eyes closed and whimpers as Martyn pushes into him. When he pulls out slowly, Grian murmurs his name, he pushes his head onto the top of Martyn's head, just between his two wolf ears.
"Faster," Grian whines.
"It'll hurt," Martyn says in return.
"Martyn, please." Grian pleads and Martyn sighs and places a kiss on Grian's skin as a silent apology of sorts before heeding his request and snaps his hips upward.
He's rewarded with a howl, his name being moaned out, grip tightening impossibly harsh on his shoulders and a slightly painful nip on one of his wolf ears.