Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Previously on Power Rangers, Foxhole Force.

When he arrives at the City of Palmetto, Neil Josten finds himself involved in a war between Ravens and Power Rangers. Awakening the spirit of the Red Fox and turning into the Red Ranger, Neil had to navigate through making friends for the first time, getting used to the Fox presence inside his mind, find out the truth about his past and maybe start to feel something more than friendship for Andrew Minyard, fellow janitor of the Foxhole Court Youth Centre and recently discovered Black Power Ranger. When the Ravens finally blew their cover and attacked the Youth Centre, Andrew was injured enough to end up trapped inside his own mind. Thanks to the fact he was a Power Ranger too, the team managed to find a way for Neil to teleport into his mind to help bring him out. The mission was a success, but after the rescue Andrew put up his walls higher than ever and now the thing between them that wasn’t really a thing but that it certainly more than was, was left standing on uneven ground.

S2 E1: Black danger (part 3)

Andrew crossed his arms over his chest as he stared at the screen of the central monitor.

“Coach! This is a tough one!”

“You can’t let the monster near the Centre. Don’t let him get past Central Park” the man in question replied.

On the screen, the Power Rangers fought. Blue and Green and Pink jumped around the thing, a monster that was half ice half meteor rock, cursing when their weapons bounced harmlessly off its body. Red was also there.

“We can’t even tickle this guy!” came Boyd’s voice from the speakers.

“When’s the asshole gonna get here?”

Andrew didn’t need eyes at the back of his head to notice the glances thrown his way.

To his left, Nicky looked like he wanted to say something but he wisely kept his mouth shut.

Then his voice came through the speakers. “I don’t think anything less than the Fox Cannon will work against it, Coach. Would you tell Andrew?”

Coach looked back at him, either resignation or disappointment on his face. Andrew didn’t care.

A hum at the back of his mind disagreed.

“Tell him yourself. He’s still here”

There was a long pause in the communication channel where the only sounds that could be heard were the grunts and curses from the battle.

Then Josten’s voice sounded again. “Guys! Let’s just try all the blasters together!”

They tried it. They failed. The monster was okay.

Eyes glued to the screen, no one missed the monster shooting a meteor shower at them, the Ranger suits exploding into a thousand sparks. No one morphed out, no one but him.

“Damn it, Neil” he heard his brother say. 

Josten’s auburn hair replaced his red helmet, and he stumbled away from the advancing monster while the rest of team formed a colorful barrier between them.

“Andrew” said Renee, calling for his attention. She should have known better. “Aren’t you gonna go?”

He at least made eye contact with her before silently turning around and walking away from the Command Centre.

Andrew.

I don’t want to hear it.

The Arctic Fox retreated and Andrew made his way calmly up the stairs to the Tower.

 * * *

48 HOURS EARLIER

Andrew came to with the image of Abby shining a light into his eyes. Each flicker of her wrist making the light stab daggers into his brain. 

Andrew. Alive. Andrew.

Coach hovering, Nicky weeping, Kevin wondering. The Arctic Fox shaking.

You’re okay. You’re alive. You’re back.

His frown was so deep it felt like it would stay permanently stuck on his face.

“Take it easy, Minyard” Coach reprimanded when despite Aaron’s best efforts to keep him on the gurney, he stood up anyway.

“Andrew, we should run some tests”

“Andrew! You’re back!”

“Maybe we should give him some space”

Slowly, the disjointed memories floating around in his mind fought against the dizziness to form a picture that had every hair on his body standing on end.

He pushed the people hovering away from him until Josten came into view. 

“Andrew” and he terribly miscalculated the strength with which a claw that felt more like a Raven talon than anything else sank into his chest to compress his airways. “A-Andrew?”

When he saw the redhead take a step forward and lift a hand up towards him, he flinched and internally cursed the way his skin prickled with so many eyes trained on them and with the amount of… hatred, yes, it was hatred, that he felt towards the other man.

“Get off me” he spat in the most hatred filled way possible, because it was hatred. This weight on his chest that was making it hard to breathe could be nothing but hatred. 

People gasped but he had eyes only for the wide eyed man that had decided to singlehandedly ruin his entire life.

“Wha—“

“Don’t touch me”

You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

“Don’t talk to me”

I thought you were supposed to be smart.

“Don’t follow me”

With every word he spoke, he took another step closer to the exit. The Medic Bay was crowded, a hammer was splitting his head in two, his chest was heaving and he needed to get away from Neil Josten before he murdered the next person who dared say a word to him.

Skirting around the others, Andrew sent one last cold look Josten’s way before storming out of the place.

He left the ruckus of the Medic Bay behind but no matter how fast he walked, the buzzing in his brain was impossible to leave behind.

Taking the steps two at a time, he wouldn’t say he ran to his room, but he did get there in a matter of seconds.

Slow down. Breathe.

He couldn’t even muster enough clarity to answer back.

Once inside the apartment and then his bedroom, Andrew slammed the door shut, locked it and jammed a chair under the handle for good measure.

Not one second after he did that, a knock rattled the door.

“Andrew!” it was Aaron. “Andrew, you need to get checked out”

He shook his head. The trembling of his hands had reached unacceptable levels.

“Do you hear me?”

“Go away” he whispered. He would take anything: maniac laughter, psychotic yelling, anything over the weakness of his voice, the weakness of his thoughts.

“You just got out of a comma, for fuck’s sake! Come down with me”

A clearing on his mind, a door with Josten’s name on it, a picture of himself with two heads, a roof in the middle of nowhere, falling off the edge together. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

Clenching his hands into fists, he willed his body to stop betraying him too.

Breathe. Andrew.

His Fox was insistent.

Can’t. He finally said.

Aaron kept banging on the door and his brain wouldn’t stop torturing him with the images of Neil roaming around in his mind. He felt… he felt… he didn’t even know how he felt and that made it all worse.

Calm.

I wanna fucking kill him.

Think. A second.

The talon on his chest sank a little deeper and Aaron just wouldn’t. Shut. Up.

“Go away” he repeated, louder this time. 

“Andrew, come on!”

Not loud enough, apparently. Or maybe Aaron just didn’t care what he thought or felt or wanted. And, damn it! Andrew was always going on about how stupid everyone else was but here he was, the stupidest of them all.

You’re not.

“Hey, stubborn! Let me in then”

His skin still prickled.

Calm.

“Andrew!”

More banging on the door.

Josten tumbling down the stairs.

Josten talking to his Fox.

Josten talking to his other self.

“Andrew, you have to come back to the Medic Bay”

Another knock on the door. Knock, knock, knock.

The window was right there.

That was his last thought before he ran a fist through it.

Andrew!

The pain was sharp and focusing. When he gasped, it was the first time he managed to breathe in an entire gulp of air.

The sound of the window breaking had everything else falling quiet for a second, but Aaron was on a mission.

“What are you doing?” his brother started, which got him to take a step closer to the door. “That’s my bedroom too. Don’t break it!”

“Then go away!” he finally shouted and struck the door with the same fist, bloody and mangled from the window shards, as if he had decked Aaron in the face.

Yes, this was better. Anger was better.

Then the pain registered again, and Andrew was able to breathe.

Clasping his other hand over his right wrist, Andrew backed away from the door until the back of his knees hit the bed and he sat. He could feel the efforts of his Fox trying to calm him down, but the one thing that managed to calm the feeling of a thousand ants crawling on his skin was the pulsing of his knuckles and the sharp sting from the cuts decorating his hand.

Finally, things started to quiet down. 

Aaron left, his thoughts didn’t race as fast and his chest felt less like it was being pressed down from the outside and more like he’d just gotten hit by a lightning strike, which was only marginally better. 

Then he let go of his wrist in favor of running a hand over his split knuckles in search of lingering shards of glass. By the time he realized he was pressing down on the cuts and relishing in the sting, he couldn’t bring himself to stop.

Andrew. Stop that.

He shook his head.

I need to breathe.

Don’t need that.

I always have.

Not. Better. Safe.

Arctic’s thoughts ripped a humorless laugh out of him.

Years of not laying a hand on himself had shattered in a second. But he didn’t believe in regret, so he kept digging his nails into his hurt knuckles.

It was when Arctic’s shaking became greater than his own that he was finally able to snap out of it and leave his wounds alone.

With his fingers covered in blood, Andrew stared at his hands until an eerie calm settled over him.

Don’t hurt. You.

Hmm.

Call Bee.

Andrew sighed and didn’t fight the numbness that was starting to spread within him. His Fox though, his Fox did everything he could to avoid the dissociation.

It’s better this way.

Not.

Arctic.

It’s not.

I don’t want to feel.

The Fox made sure to let him feel the way he shook his head in denial.

You feel. You learn. You forgive.

Josten?

The name had him clenching his fist again, but Arctic urged him to let go.

You. Neil. All. You.

Neil, Neil, Neil. Andrew had been a fool. He never should have let himself get tied on a leash.

Not a dog. 

But I let him do it anyway. I never learn. I’m the idiot, the fool.

Stop.

It was all a waste. It was all for nothing. I’m a—

Stop!

His Fox’s energy spike was like a shock to his system. He gasped and clasped an arm around his stomach.

I told you I don’t want to feel.

Mind leaving. Not good.

His own trembling came back and, together, he and his Fox navigated through the other’s emotions. His Fox was worried, putting on a brave face for him, but the Fox was rattled and uncertain. Andrew had made him feel that way with his violent outburst and even though he would never apologize to anyone, to his Fox he said:

Sorry.

Arctic purred and a wave of warmth spread from the center of his chest all the way to his hands. 

The warmth let him inhale an entire lungful of air and he decided he would stick to the Fox’s coping mechanism for now. It made him breathe better than the pain had anyway.

Andrew.

What.

Talk to me.

They know who I am.

Eventually. Find. They.

Neil knows everything.

So?

He couldn’t quite decide if his Fox was being unsympathetic, something he’d asked him to be from the very first time they’d blended together, or if he didn’t see a problem with Andrew’s statements.

Not unsympathetic, his Fox corrected. But no pity.

Whatever the case, after a few minutes, Andrew appreciated his heartbeat settling down to manageable levels and his breathing rate coming back to acceptable ranges. With the new acquired tranquility, his eyes landed on his car keys over the bedside table and the itch to go for a drive, and maybe never come back, prompted him to his feet.

Can’t run from this.

They’ll force me to help.

No one. Force you. Anything.

They’ll expect things now.

Their problem.

After a beat. They’ll hate me.

When he had first gotten his Fox, it had taken some time for Andrew to trust a magical presence inside his body, inside his mind. Now, after two years of sharing thoughts, feelings, experiences and more, Andrew could admit things to the Fox he wouldn’t normally even say out loud to Bee. The Fox could feel his emotions, there was no point trying to hide anything from him.

Coach doesn't. Renee doesn't. Neil doesn't.

This time, instead of anger, the name brought a wave of resignation that slumped his frame.

He needed to figure out what to do.

About Neil? His Fox asked.

There are more important things. He lied.

Despite what Arctic thought, leaving was still an option. He wouldn’t have to deal with his bother’s misplaced concern, Kevin’s disbelief, Allison’s outrage, Coach’s disappointment, Nicky’s fussing, Neil’s intrusion.

Who’s the rabbit now? He thought to himself.

Fox.

I know.

Family.

Barely.

Friends.

Don’t lie to yourself. We don’t have friends.

With an annoyed yap, Arctic bombarded him with memories: sparring with Renee, having dinner with Aaron and Nicky, bringing Kevin to Columbia with them, shopping on a mall with Neil, sparring on the roof with Neil, going for a drive with Neil, sneaking into the locker room with Neil, kissing—

Stop.

The Fox immediately did.

Stay. 

Arctic didn’t need to spell out the reasons he had for staying. With no small amount of anger, he knew he had more than one.

Despite it all, he picked up the keys anyway.

Arctic became agitated, but Andrew soothed a hand over his chest.

I’m just going for a drive.

Come back?

He let out a sigh. Yes, I’ll come back.

If he ever managed to slip past the second floor undetected.

I help.

Andrew nodded, grabbed a jacket as a last minute thought and went on his way to try to figure out how the hell he would bring his life back to normal.

* * *

24 HOURS EARLIER

After he knocked for the third time, the door opened to reveal Coach’s annoyed expression at being woken up in the middle of the night.

The man looked him up and down and let out a sigh before stepping aside to let him in.

“About time you showed up” he grumbled.

Coach’s apartment was a small thing, made even smaller by the amount of junk cluttered on every surface. Andrew made a beeline for the couch and Coach disappeared into the kitchen only to reappear a moment later carrying two plastic glasses and a bottle of scotch.

When Andrew reached for his glass, Coach eyed the bruises on his hand.

“Do I need to be worried about someone else?”

“Only a window”

“The Tower?” at Andrew’s nod, the man sighed. “The Court’s destroyed enough as it is”

The alcohol burned on its way down and when he downed the shot in one gulp, he asked for a refill.

Careful.

He reassured the Fox he wouldn’t get drunk tonight.

“Where have you been all day?” asked Coach, pacing himself with his own drink.

“Columbia”

Arctic had been nagging him not to keep himself away for so long, but he’d needed time to think.

“You sure know how to make an entrance” Coach continued. Andrew’s arms broke into goosebumps thinking about the Raven sword he’d stopped and the chaos that resulted from it. “How are you holding up?”

He took his time to answer. For being blasted into a wall and then stuck in a comma, physically he felt fine, split knuckles aside. He told Coach as much.

“And the Fox?”

“He’s fine”

Arctic hummed in agreement.

Coach lifted an eyebrow. “You’ve been spending too much time with someone”

“What happens now?” He deviated.

Coach finished his drink but didn’t pour himself another. Instead, he leaned back on the couch and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “The Court’s a mess, but I already spoke with our major sponsors and they gave us the money for the bigger repairs. As for the courts, most of it is rubble we can clean ourselves, but the floor of the exy court is melted in some places. We won’t have bleachers for a while. There’s not enough money to get new ones”

Andrew hadn’t really been asking about the Court, but he listened anyway. “The kids?”

“Explaining was hard. Some of them stayed to help clean, some of them just went back home”

As if they had any, Andrew thought.

Court.

Andrew let out a sigh and rolled the last of his drink in circles before downing it all. He put the plastic glass inside a day’s old empty coffee mug.

“There will be other attacks” he stated.

“Probably, but Dan and Aaron have programmed the anti Raven system so it’s always on without hurting Kevin. Something about frequencies and shit I don’t understand”

“Ravens can’t get into the Centre?”

“Not within five miles. Monsters can, though. We’ll need all five Rangers on constant alert”

Andrew let out a humorless huff. 

“Pretentious, Coach” the man went to answer, but he cut him off. “We had a deal. I did this on my own terms as long as they didn’t know”

“Deals can change”

“Then what’s the point making them in the first place?”

Neil.

That’s different. His mother was dead. The deal wasn’t valid anymore.

So. New one. Now.

Coach wasn’t usually one to sugarcoat his words with him, but with his next question, Andrew recognized the social worker underneath the gruff façade and the flame tattoos.

“Andrew” he called. “What do you want to do?”

“Since when has that ever mattered?” and he cursed the whisper that was trying to pass as his voice.

Matters.

“Does your family matter to you? Does protecting the Centre? The kids?”

Andrew remained silent, elbows resting on his knees and staring at the space between his feet. The questions had him reaching towards his hurt hand, but Arctic sent him a shock of cold to stop him.

“You need to figure out what you want to do, son” Coach continued. Andrew was used to the man’s irritating habit of calling him son whenever they discussed something in private, but this time the word made him grimace inside.

How? 

He wasn’t sure if he was asking himself or the Fox. How could he ever have a choice when he was only now realizing he’d handed the ropes of his leash to too many people along the years?

They’ll all expect things now, he told his Fox again. That doesn’t really give me a choice.

Always. Choice.

With a glance into Coach’s expectant face, Andrew wasn’t so sure.

* * *

2 HOURS EARLIER

“I was relieved when I got your call, Andrew. I didn’t think you would want to meet”

“You did something really stupid, Bee. Feeling guilty?”

“Concerned more than anything”

“I did something stupid. Hurt myself”

“On purpose?”

“It was an accident, but it was on purpose”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Arctic took care of it”

“You’ve been through something really intense. Do you want to talk about that?”

Talk. Help. Good.

“Andrew?”

“Why don’t you ask what you really want to ask?”

Tone down.

“Alright. Are you mad at me?”

“What could have possibly made you think that it was a good idea to let someone else, Josten, poke through my brain?”

“I admit I may have been biased by the situation. You know I care about you”

“It could have been anyone else. I could hate anyone else”

“It needed to be a Ranger for it to work. We didn’t even know if the plan would work or if the person going in would be harmed in any way”

“So he did it to spare his team?”

“We both know that’s not why he took the risk”

Better Neil. Anyone else. Not.

“I don’t kiss anyone else”

“Is that why you’re mad? Because you’re intimate with Neil?”

“How can I trust him to respect the boundaries after what he did?”

“Was saving you a boundary?”

Not.

Shut up.

Tone. Down.

“Have you thought about what the consequences would have been if you had died?”

“Less people whining all the time”

Not true.

“Less insults”

“I think—“

“Less expectations. Less disappointment”

“You’re not one to feel sorry for yourself, Andrew”

I know.

Then why?

I don’t know. This is all his fault.

Isn’t.

“I don’t want to keep talking about Josten”

“Something else on your mind?”

“Coach thinks I should talk to the team. Explain myself to them”

Should.

Shut up.

You!

Don’t shock me again.

Tone. Down. Then.

“You can’t know what they think about you being the Black Ranger if you don’t talk to them”

“I can imagine”

“You should know better than anyone how dangerous it is to assume”

“Sometimes I think I should hate you too”

“I’m glad to know you don’t”

“It’s not like I haven’t thought about what it would be like for them to know”

“Then what’s making you feel at odds?”

“You know I don’t believe in regret”

“Go on”

“And that I never do anything I don’t want to do”

“Yes?”

“But I really didn’t want to reveal myself”

“From what I understand, Aaron and Nicky would have died if you hadn’t”

True.

“Andrew, so they know. What’s the worse that could happen? What are you afraid of?”

Yes. What?

You know what. Fucking Josten knows what.

Team. Five. Yes.

What does that mean?

You know. What.

“That’s enough for today, Bee”

“Would you allow me a last word?”

“Yes”

“I recommend you think about all the consequences of you not having made it out alive before you rid Neil of your life because of what he did. I would hate to see you lose something that you have allowed yourself to want because you’re momentarily standing on unsteady feet”

Andrew.

Hmm.

Die if you. I die too.

* * *

20 MINUTES EARLIER

Andrew waited to call a team meeting until the moment a monster alert summoned everyone to the Command Centre. Call him a coward, but Andrew preferred to think he was smart. This way, the conversation couldn’t last very long before the new crisis took priority.

A small part of him relished in the way everyone halted in their steps upon reaching the second floor of the Centre and seeing him standing by the central monitor alongside Coach. Another part felt bitter about appreciating the man’s presence for support.

Some people greeted him warily. Wilds, Boyd, Kevin.

Others did so relieved. Aaron, Nicky, Renee.

Others made their displeasure known with offended tsks and reproachful frowns. Reynolds.

And then Josten made the uncharacteristically smart choice of not meeting Andrew’s eyes at all.

Wilds approached the monitors to silence the alarm and the lack of noise was deafening.

Another very much annoyed and very much unwanted part of himself had his heart racing with the prospect of facing all of their wrath. Their hate.

Give chance. Them. Yourself.

Coach cleared his throat as a signal for him to speed things along.

Locking eyes with almost everyone one by one, Andrew braced himself for impact.

“I’m the Black Ranger” not that he needed to say it, but it felt like the cowarldless thing to do.

It was as if the moment he said it, a dam burst open.

“How could you not tell us?”

“When did this happen?”

“Why you?”

“We’re family, Andrew. You could have told us”

“You told Coach over us?”

“Shouldn’t we be morphing and going to the scene?”

“Andrew, how could you not—“

“I’m the Black Ranger” he said again, silencing their onslaught of questions. “But the fact that you know doesn’t change anything”

“You’re a real piece of work, did you know that?” Reynolds spoke for the first time. 

“Why the secrecy?” asked Kevin. 

“Do I need a reason?” 

But Reynolds wasn’t done with her tirade. “You’re just a selfish bastard”

“Allison” Coach warned.

“She’s kind of right” Wild’s support had the blond spitting forth insult after insult and every possible reason she could come up with for why the Arctic Fox shouldn’t have chosen him as the Black Ranger and how he was a waste of energy and space and fox.

Yes, Andrew confirmed to himself, the fact that they knew didn’t change. A damn. Thing.

Inadvertently, something in the deepest part of his chest trembled and it wasn’t his Fox.

Something must have shown on his face, or his demeanor, or Josten simply fucking thought he knew what Andrew was feeling after trekking through his brain like he had, but he tried to end Reynolds’ parade of insults. 

“Allison, that’s enou—” but a murderous glare from Andrew stopped him. He didn’t need a knight in shinning armor. He had expected her words and basked in their predictability. 

“Didn’t your Fox want to join us?” Kevin continued, ever the clinical one.

Andrew felt Arctic’s presence flare inside his chest, but they had settled that matter between them long ago.

“Guys” Boyd interrupted an answer that would never really come. “Can we discuss this like…after we beat the monster?”

Andrew made sure to keep his voice as neutral as he knew how. “There’s nothing to discuss”

“Great, then can we go back to protecting the city now?” Boyd was the first to make Andrew frown in something resembling confusion.

“So you’re not coming with us?” Reynolds asked.

“I have only ever gone when you really needed it”

She huffed. “As if we did. Let’s go, guys”

The team walked towards their morphing spot, Josten the last one to arrive and call the transformation with less enthusiasm than usual.

Everyone else took a step back and remained quiet once the Rangers disappeared through the panel on the wall. 

Aaron, Nicky, Renee and Wilds seemed frozen on their spots waiting for either Coach or Andrew to give them a signal to move. Once a few seconds of uncertain staring had gone by, Coach clapped his hands together.

“That went well. Anything else to add?” he asked everyone, including Andrew, but no one was brave enough to reply. “Then let’s get to work”

Wilds sat in front of the central monitor to keep an eye on the Ranger’s energy levels and turned on the mic for Coach to communicate with them.

Renee walked silently to his side and offered him a gentle smile of reassurance before focusing her eyes on the screen. Her unwavering support had Andrew thinking he could use a sparring session with her to work out some of his frustration and regain some of the normalcy in his life, but he also thought he could live the rest of his life without ever touching another human being again and that would also be more than fine.

Raven, Arctic said, to which Andrew just rolled his eyes.

He angled his body to look at the monitor too and though he’d had his tense arms crossed over his chest, he felt his shoulders lose a little bit of the tension in them. His cousin remained uncharacteristically quiet off to the side and his brother took his usual spot towards the back.

He had to admit that their reactions puzzled him. Other than Reynolds, everyone else had been strangely quiet and polite about the whole situation. He had even expected Kevin to throw a tantrum about the Foxes needing to be together and Andrew breaking the dynamics of the team and not fulfilling his duty as a Power Ranger or some other shit like that. But other than a few questions, their combined reaction blows hadn’t been fatal.

See?

What.

Scared. No reason.

I wasn’t scared.

Don’t lie. 

I wasn’t, he repeated sternly, still uncomfortably conscious of that part inside his chest that had nothing to do with his Fox but that hadn’t stopped shaking ever since he became aware of it.

Without thinking too much about it, he unclasped his arms and brought a couple of fingers to dig circles over his chest. If he did that at the exact same time Kevin’s voice blasted from the speakers and startled him, no one had to know.

“We’re here! Do you see anyone other than the monster?”

Wilds scanned the footage from the street cameras and leaned over the mic. “No Ravens in sight”

“Alright, let’s finish him quickly”

The Blue Ranger was taking point on this one and the Red Ranger let him. Andrew didn’t care.

The first few blows were exchanged between the monster and the Rangers. The thing looked big and strong, grotesquely so, but Andrew didn’t think it was anything they couldn’t handle.

Are you sure?

Andrew didn’t answer.

Crossing his arms over his chest again, the battle went on.

“Coach! This is a tough one!”

“You can’t let the monster near the Centre. Don’t let him get past Central Park”

On the screen, the Power Rangers fought. Blue took a hit to the stomach, Green took one to the back, Pink ducked a straight on attack but wasn’t fast enough to avoid the monster sweeping her feet from under her. Red went to help, he got blasted away. They tried their weapons, but they bounced harmlessly off the monster’s half ice half meteor rock body.

“We can’t even tickle this guy!” came Boyd’s voice from the speakers.

“When’s the asshole gonna get here?”

Andrew didn’t need eyes at the back of his head to notice the glances thrown his way.

To his left, Nicky looked like he wanted to say something but he wisely kept his mouth shut.

Then his voice came through the speakers. “I don’t think anything less than the Fox Cannon will work against it, Coach. Would you tell Andrew?”

Coach turned to look back at him and Andrew felt his resignation, his disappointment, like a slap on the face. He didn’t care.

Arctic sighed.

“Tell him yourself. He’s still here”

There was a long pause in the communication channel where the only sounds that could be heard were the grunts and curses from the battle.

Then Josten’s voice sounded again. “Guys! Let’s just try all the blasters together!”

They tried it. They failed. The monster was okay.

They had front row seats to the spectacle that was the monster shooting a meteor shower at the team. Their suits exploded into a thousand sparks and their screams echoed inside the Command Centre, making everyone shuffle anxiously on their feet.

“Oh, no” Wilds said, her eyes on the screen that showed the Ranger’s energy levels. Josten’s dropped to the lowest.

“Damn it, Neil” he heard his brother say when the Red Ranger morphed out.

Josten’s auburn hair replaced his red helmet, and he stumbled away from the advancing monster while the rest of team formed a colorful barrier between them.

“Andrew” said Renee next to him, calling for his attention. She should have known better. “Aren’t you gonna go?”

He at least made eye contact with her before silently turning around and walking away from the Command Centre.

Andrew.

I don’t want to hear it.

The Arctic Fox retreated and Andrew made his way calmly up the stairs to the Tower.

Early afternoon found Andrew sitting on one of the cafeteria tables across from his brother. Since the damage to the Centre was mostly concentrated on the courts and the bleachers, Coach had decided not to shut the cafeteria service off. The kids may not be able to play sports for a while, but they would not miss a meal if the man had any say in the matter. His words.

As it was, lunch time was over and the cafeteria was deserted once again. The Youth Centre lacked its usual plethora of people, what with half of it being destroyed after the Raven’s attack, but with the repairs going on, there was never a dull moment around. Many of the kids from the Centre had volunteered to help the  workers clean and salvage what they could from the mess, so there was always someone running around carrying either a mop, a broom or a piece of fallen concrete in their hands.

In the end, the Power Rangers had been able to defeat the monster, just like Andrew knew they would, and had come back to the Centre a couple of hours ago to add themselves to the cleaning troops.

Didn’t know, Arctic remarked.

We’ll never find out now, will we?

The Fox rolled his inside his mind.

For the first time in a long time, Andrew had decided to join his brother and cousin for lunch. Nicky had eventually caved in to his curiosity and his hurt feelings at having being banned from the circle of people that knew the truth about the Black Ranger, which had always been just two, Coach and Bee, and so he pestered Andrew with questions that sometimes grated on his nerves but that, thankfully, lacked his cousin’s usual boisterous nature. Nicky knew better than to pressure him into answering the questions if he didn’t want to, but Andrew indulged him with an answer or two. 

No, Nicky, I didn’t hide out of spite.

No, Nicky, I didn’t not tell you because I hate you.

Yes, Nicky, you’re making me hate you now.

His cousin had then excused himself to continue helping with the repairs, not before he told Andrew how awesome it was that he was a Power Ranger but that now he would be worried out of his mind whenever he went into the field again.

Andrew’s only acknowledgement of his sentiment was a curt nod before Nicky walked away from the table where he now sat alone with his brother.

“You’ve been awfully quiet” he said, tapping into the remnants of his personality from when he had been under the influence of his court medication: instigating and mocking. If anything, his sarcasm made for a perfect shield against other people’s own hurtful tendencies.

Aaron shrugged and played around with the couple of beans left on his plate. He never ate the beans. “What is there to say?”

“Gee, I don’t know. How about: Andrew, you could have told your own twin”

“That’s you talking. Not me. Besides,” he continued, missing the way Andrew couldn’t quite hide a frown. “It wasn’t that much of a surprise”

“You’re saying you knew?”

“No. I’m saying that was such a you thing to do that it actually made all the sense in the world”

Andrew hummed and studied his brother. He didn’t sound or look mad. Just his usual self.

The sound of a construction drill somewhere near the blasted entrance of the Foxhole Court thwarted any further conversation, but the twins remained seated. 

It was because of that same drill noise that they didn’t hear the shouts coming from the courts until a couple of kids burst into the cafeteria with wild looks on the faces.

“Aaron!”

“Aaron, come quick!”

“Aaron! Neil just collapsed on the court!”

Andrew’s stomach sank and Aaron sprung to his feet.

“What!?”

Aaron didn’t spare him a second glance as he sprinted from the cafeteria, the kids following close behind. When Andrew went to do the same, he caught himself in time before he let instinct bring him to his feet. 

His fists clenched at his side and the twinge of his right knuckles had him scowling at his empty plate.

Andrew.

Not my problem anymore.

You promised.

I didn’t promise him protection.

To yourself.

He forced himself to wait a good twenty minutes before finally standing up and walking out of the cafeteria. By the time he set foot outside, there was no commotion on the courts and Aaron and Josten were nowhere to be seen.

He made his way to the long hallway that housed the locker rooms, intent on getting his cleaning cart and getting his hands dirty with the cleaning going all around. The problem was the hallway was long enough to give his mind ample time to summon images of Josten tumbling down the stairs of his mind, crying after he lived through one of his nightmares, Drake assaulting him in that room, him laughing it all away, falling off the fucking roof together.

The feeling of free falling made his stomach roll and he staggered, leaning a hand on the wall for balance. If there had been a trashcan nearby, he would have vomited what he’d just had for lunch.

“Andrew?” he hadn’t seen Renee approaching from the other end of the hallway. “Are you okay? You’re looking a little pale”

He straightened up and brushed her concern away with a wave of his hand. “I’m fine”

Oh, the irony.

It turned out his feet had taken him to the infirmary where the door stood ajar halfway to closing. Making sure no one else was around to see him, Andrew leaned his back against the wall next to it. Soft voices drifted from the inside, making him strain his ears in order to eavesdrop correctly. Choosing to ignore the pull in his gut that told him that doing this was just pathetic, he told himself he was doing it because he was looking out for his brother.

“…ont know” Josten’s voice reached him when he tuned in on the conversation.

“When’s the last time you ate something?” Aaron asked.

“Umm”

“Neil”

“Yesterday?”

His brother let out a sigh. “You need to take better care of yourself” in a lower voice, he added, “And you’ve morphed out too many times lately. You. Need. Rest”

“What do you suggest we do? Ask the Ravens for a ceasefire so I can rest?” the scorn in his voice was there, but hidden under a layer of exhaustion and defeat Andrew hadn’t heard from the redhead in a very long time.

“Which is why you need to pay attention to your body. Eat calories to replenish your energy. Sleep when you can and then some. Two days ago you went into a self-induced fucking comma and you look like you haven’t slept a wink since”

Silence. 

Andrew shifted his weight from his left leg to his right.

“You haven’t slept a wink since, have you?” Josten’s answer must have been a shake of the head. “You’re a moron”

“Thanks, I appreciate that”

“Is this because of my brother?”

The question had hackles raising under his armbands. Andrew pushed himself off the wall and walked away before he could hear Josten’s answer. He felt an irrational sense of betrayal at the way Josten and his brother talked to each other. Neither of them were polite people. They were loudmouthed and opinionated, but the way they bantered wasn’t full of real anger. If anything, it reminded Andrew of the way Nicky and Aaron talked to each other, with insults but camaraderie. How did Andrew miss the way they interacted was beyond him, and he hated the fact their newfound camaraderie was enough to talk about him.

You going. Where?

Roof.

Smoke?

Yes.

Arctic hummed and sent a wave of warmth through his chest. Andrew didn’t need it, but he appreciated it anyway.

He relished in the silence of the empty Tower as he fished for his cigarettes in his room and then made his way to the roof. The early afternoon sun was hot enough he couldn’t sit down on the cement floor of the roof, so he smoked his cigarette standing and let the smoke quench all of his uncertainties away.

He made sure to stay way clear of the edge.

 * * *

When the door to the roof opened behind him, he didn’t need to turn around to know Josten had tracked him down. The other man had been successful in not crossing paths with him for long enough, but that was mainly because Andrew had kept himself away from the Centre all day yesterday.

“Andrew?” his voice was hesitant, as if he knew he shouldn’t have come up here, and Andrew geared himself up for a fight. 

“What do you want?”

He had ran out of cigarettes after only a couple, and he cursed his oversight at not having replenished his stash before the whole shit show of the Raven attack on the Centre. He would have welcomed the distraction of the methodical drags as an excuse not to face Josten head on. Not for the first time, he resented his newfound cowardly tendencies and spun around to send an unfriendly stare to the redhead just to prove to himself that he still could.

The quivering at the bottom of his stomach told him he might have overestimated his own abilities.

“I… I think we should talk”

Hesitating, hesitating. Andrew squared his shoulders and stood as tall as he could.

“I don’t want to talk to you”

Ever since waking up from the comma everything had been I don’t want to feel this, I don’t want to talk about that, I don’t want this or that, I don’t want, want, want. Bee had always said it was easier for people to admit the things they didn’t want than to admit the ones they did. And Andrew really didn’t want to talk about the things he wanted. He would not make that mistake again.

When Josten seemed unwilling to break the silence, Andrew let the echoes of his manic past permeate the edges of his self and, contradictorily, spurred the conversation ahead.

“Did my dear old brother put you up to this?”

The unrelenting afternoon sun shone bright on the other man’s blue eyes, glinting off their confusion. “What?”

“You need to ease your conscience to rest?”

If Josten understood that Andrew had overheard his conversation with Aaron, he chose to let it slide.

Andrew. Chance?

I’m not Coach. 

But—

Let me deal with this alone.

The Fox retreated to the deepest part of his mind and honored his request. If only everyone could learn do the same.

“Say your peace and be done with it”

Clamping the muscles of his stomach down, he willed himself to live through this one conversation so that he would never again have to do it.

“I want you to know…” Josten started, shuffling nervously on his feet. “I get why… You hate me and that’s…” he took a deep breath before he was able to produce a full sentence. “I didn’t know it would be so vivid, that I would see the things I saw”

Straight to the fucking point, Andrew thought half bitter and half relieved. 

Scratch that. He was entirely pissed.

“You should have left when you realized”

“I couldn’t— wouldn’t have left without you”

“I’ll give you one better, then. You never should have gone in the first place”

Josten’s brow pulled and his voice lost the little volume it had. “You could have died”

“Didn’t give you the right to go into my brain. Without. My. Consent”

The pulling of his eyebrows transformed into a grimace. “You were in a comma. You couldn’t give it”

“So that justifies it?”

“Andrew—“

“No” and then he couldn’t entirely stop himself when the next words left his mouth. “You turned out to be just like everyone else. Right, Nathaniel?”

Andrew!

His Fox broke his silence to reprimand him at the same time Neil gasped and recoiled from him, the haunted look on his face pulling at something in Andrew’s chest.

You did that, he told himself, but tried to ignore the voice, because right next to the guilt, there was the irrational need to let Neil know just exactly how much his own chest hurt and the only way he knew how to do that was to make him feel the same way too.

Neil.

Andrew ignored his Fox and his own slip up.

“Andrew, I just wanted to—“

“I know what you wanted” he interrupted. “You need the Black Ranger to join your little merry-go-round of pointless battles”

“I didn’t do it for the Black Ranger. I did it for you” Josten was quick to reply, apparently over the jab Andrew had thrown his way.

“Try again”

“I didn’t want you to die”

“Don’t lie”

“I’m not”

“Could’ve fooled me”

“I swear”

“Then don’t be a hypocrite”

“Fine!” the redhead finally snapped. “I didn’t want to lose you. I didn’t want to have to live through that because—!” he caught himself off and Andrew saw the way his chest rose and fell in crescendo.

Andrew’s voice was eerily quiet when he said, “What about what I wanted?”

Neil looked like he was going to say something, but Andrew beat him to it, a sudden darkness creeping into his tone and staining his words with resentment. He also dropped the act of sarcasm and stared dead serious into Neil Josten’s eyes.

“You remember the kid with the drawing? The one I didn’t want to bring out?” the other man nodded. “Well, I think part of him came back out with me anyway and now he’s here” his voice grew pained as he dug a finger on the centre of his chest, where he’d been feeling a trembling all day that had nothing to do with his Fox and everything to do with himself. “He’s here and I don’t fucking know what to do with that”

It was so much more than what he had intended to say.

“Andr—“

But he couldn’t stop now.

“Because now he worries about what other people say and how they look at me and a bunch of other shit I had already gotten over with but that he hasn’t and I’m the one suffering for it and it’s all your goddamned fault”

He wasn’t sure when exactly he had reached that conclusion, but he also didn’t doubt it to be the absolute truth. The irrational need to have Coach’s support, the incessant worry about what his family would think of him, and the shaking of his gut that spoke of the way he kept expecting to be rejected by the team.

“I never wanted to hurt you” Neil’s voice was a whisper filled with pain. Andrew had succeeded on his mission, they were equal parts hurt by the other now and yet, he didn’t feel a whole lot of satisfaction.

Then their communicators came alive with the familiar shrill of a Raven alert but Andrew had been blessed lately with the ability of hiding his startle by choosing that moment to cross his arms over his chest. Josten didn’t fare as well, and he jumped six feet high at the sound. 

When they both turned their communicators off, Josten stared expectantly at him.

“Go ahead” he said, no trace of sarcasm or viciousness in his voice. Just a deep seated tiredness that had him tightening his arms around himself. “Ask me”

“Andrew…”

He signaled Josten’s communicator that was still in his hand with a jerk of his head. “Admit that’s the only reason you’re even talking to me right now”

“Of course I want you to join us in battle” the redhead admitted, but he wasn’t done and his voice hardened with a newfound resolve that made Andrew’s own waver. “I have always ever wanted you to be a part of our team”

Andrew knew it, he just knew it.

“But I do not need the Black Ranger to show up. I need you. Andrew. Andrew Minyard. The man behind the helmet. The janitor of the Foxhole Court. The man who has always had my back, all of our backs”

Fox. Andrew. You.

Andrew would never admit to anyone that the hairs at the back of his head stood on end at the fierceness behind Josten’s words, but he could not hide anything from his Fox.

When the alert sounded again, Josten retreated a couple of steps towards the roof access door with a sort of apologetic expression on his face. Whether it was for having to cut their conversation short or for something else entirely, Andrew would never know.

“I will forever be sorry that I hurt you when I went into your mind” he continued before he could completely disappear through the door. “I will never forgive myself for stepping over one of your boundaries and crossing the line. But I can’t apologize for saving your life because I will always, always, have your back too”

Standing on the roof alone once again, Andrew’s mind was reeling and his ears were buzzing. He wasn’t one to second guess himself often and he absolutely did not believe in regret. But if there was anything he regretted from the bottom of his soul it was ever deluding himself into thinking he had deserved whatever it was that had been going on between Josten and him. Because the redhead’s words had power over him, a power Andrew had willingly given him and for which he could blame no one but himself.

It was with no hesitation that he thought to himself that everything would have been better if Neil had never shown up at all.

Would it?

Andrew splayed a hand on his chest to try and counter the shaking of his inner self as he took the steps he hadn’t taken before towards the edge of the roof.

Andrew?

His Fox wanted confirmation on the thoughts he could already see forming in his mind.

When he reached the edge, Andrew looked down to the ground and focused on the fear of heights that was so much easier to deal with than the fear of what he was about to do now.

Andrew.

Yes.

Yes?

Yes.

Okay. It will be. Everything.

If Arctic said so.

Andrew. Morph. Yes or no?

He closed his eyes for a moment and nodded.

Yes.

By the time he opened his eyes, the black suit had already materialized all around him and a burst of energy made him feel strong and protected.

Ready? 

His Fox asked and Andrew gave him another nod. He would not, for the life of him, set foot into the Command Centre so soon after his identity reveal and his this doesn’t change anything statement. He could at least still save some of his dignity.

So he took the one last step that brought him dangerously close to the edge of the roof and steeled his fried nerves.

He had done a lot of falling lately, he thought, images of himself and Neil falling from the roof of his mind together playing stubbornly on a loop. What was one more time?

Together. Safe. Trust.

Holding the Fox to his words, Andrew closed his eyes and jumped off the roof to go join the battle against the Ravens.

 * * *

Andrew tapped into the features of his helmet to find the scene of the battle.

The closer he got it, the better he could recognize his surroundings. He was headed to Roca Street, the place where Josten had foolishly came knocking on some very bad people’s doors the first few weeks after showing up. 

He wondered why the Ravens would attack so far from the Centre after just uncovering their hideout, and he briefly entertained the idea of the hideous beasts luring them out so they could attack the Foxhole Court again. But he dismissed the thought as unimportant when he rounded a corner and was met with the sight of battle. The Centre had anti Raven protection now and if push came to shove the other Rangers could teleport back in an instant. In fact, he should be more worried about having to deal with this mess alone if that ever happened.

And what a mess it was. 

Engle and a dozen regular Ravens were wrecking havoc on the street, decimating cars as they ran around looking for someone to taste. Except Engle wasn’t really tasting anyone and the regulars were just hurting people for the sake of doing it.

Engle’s commands were angry as he goaded his minions’ frenzy. It looked like they were angry more than satisfied with the destruction, so they were just sore losers retaliating for getting their asses kicked on their attempt to seize the Centre. Maybe they had made the attack so far away from it just so they wouldn’t risk the anti Raven frequency bursting their eardrums open again. The cowards.

The Rangers were there but maybe it was a good thing Andrew had decided to come, because they were seriously outnumbered and Engle was a fucking pain in the ass to fight.

He had no doubt the others back at the Centre had already picked up on his presence and Andrew made sure to insert himself into the battle without any fanfare, simply running to where two regular Ravens were shaking a car with some people hiding inside.

How’s that for an entrance? he thought, not wanting to give Coach the satisfaction of being right.

Focus, Arctic said, at which he just rolled his eyes.

If there was surprise at his presence on the field, Andrew wouldn’t be able to hear it. Long ago he and Coach had added his helmet to the communication system of the Rangers, understanding that it would aid them more than hurt them to have him listening in on possible plans and courses of action. But having dealt with enough reactions from everyone after finding out he was the Black Ranger, he strategically decided to leave his comms off.

When he disposed of the first Raven, sending a punch to its face followed by a round house kick that brought it to the ground, Andrew got the impression that something was a little off.

Arctic.

The Fox ignored him.

The second Raven attacked and Andrew traded a few more blows with this one before it landed on its ass too. The fight brought him closer to the Green Ranger who was dealing with his own opponents near a street lamp and Andrew helped him drive the Ravens away. Something was definitely, definitely off.

“You came!” Boyd’s shout had other colorful helmets turning his way, but Andrew was too busy staring at the Green Ranger to register anything else than the fact that he was staring up.

“Dude” Boyd continued, amusement evident in his voice. “You shrank”

Arctic!

Instead of ignoring him or cowering inside, his Fox’s presence spiked with determination.

Truth. Hide. No need.

You could have left it as it was.

Truth. Hide. No need.

Saying it again won’t make me less mad.

Deal with it.

If he’d had the guts to do it, he would have cursed at the Fox. Instead, he let out a mental growl and resolved to talk about the Fox taking his height away later, when they weren’t surrounded by enemies.

The battle went on and he drifted away from Boyd towards Kevin, the Blue Ranger dealing with his own fight. Kevin’s reaction to his arrival was less than tolerable.

“Take the one on the left… Put your weight into it… Duck faster…” orders, orders, orders. What exactly about him knowing his identity gave him the courage to start telling the Black Ranger how to do his damn job?

Ignoring Kevin and turning around, he sank his fist into a Raven.

You were right, he told his Fox, momentarily forgetting his earlier annoyance. Punching Ravens in the face was satisfactory as hell.

Know.

Don’t let it get to your head, Andrew said when he could feel his Fox’s presence filling with pride. The Fox loved being right.

Pot.

Andrew went back to ignoring him.

When the battle drove him away once again to land closer to the Pink Ranger, he was surprised by how smoothly things went. She didn’t talk to him and he didn’t talk to her. They didn’t cross each other’s paths except for one time to avoid colliding against each other when their opponents had gotten the better of them. It was obvious that whatever dynamic he and the team had constructed over the last few months had been disrupted, but this? This he could do. Fight the Ravens and talk to no one. It was a modus operandi he was comfortable with.

The familiarity of the silent battle had him almost missing the way he kept drifting closer and closer to the middle of it all, where the Red Ranger was engaged in battle against Engle. Almost, because he was also unable to ignore the man telegraphing his movements more than usual, staggering on his feet more often than not and landing on his ass when the Perfect Raven kicked him in the middle. He had no doubt Aaron was frowning upon him back at the Centre.

Squaring his shoulders and before his Fox could say anything to prompt him along, Andrew left the Pink Ranger to fend for herself in order to face Captain Engle too.

Andrew summoned his Black Shield and drove the Raven away from Josten to give him some room to breathe. He jumped to avoid the Raven sweeping his legs from under him and used the shield as a weapon to slash with its edge, aiming for the thing’s throat. A second later, Josten went back into the mix, Red Staff glinting under the sunlight and, together, they fought.

It wouldn’t take a genius to see what a mistake that was.

For all the coordination they had managed to achieve before this whole mess started, they were now stuck in a hopeless dynamic. Where they had never needed to talk to each other to fight well together, the silence between them was messing with their style. 

Engle charged at Andrew like a bull and even though the Black Shield protected him from the blow, it didn’t stop him from being propelled backwards, getting into Josten’s way who had been on his way to slash at the Raven with his staff. The Red Ranger pulled his attack before he could slash Andrew instead, but it was a near thing.

A minute later, when the Raven slashed with his talons unrelentingly, Andrew put up the shield to get him to back off, but he hadn’t seen Josten bringing his staff down to hit the Raven on the exact same spot, hitting Andrew’s shield instead and allowing the Raven to step away unharmed.

No matter what they did, they kept stepping on each other’s toes and it was starting to grate on Andrew’s nerves.

Andrew. Talk.

No.

He had done enough talking already.

Not.

The Fox was so insistent on him giving Josten a chance and talking to him and listening to him it almost seemed like it was the Fox who had li—

Yes?

Nothing.

Captain Engle grabbed a hold of Josten’s arm and that was the last of his focus he was able to spare before the Raven flung Josten around like a rag doll to connect with Andrew’s side. With a grunt, they both flew several feet before landing on the ground in a heap of mixed limbs. Andrew was the first to regain his footing and he didn’t miss the amount of time it took Josten to do the same. He was cradling the arm the Raven had used to sweep them away close to his body.

“Andrew” the other man said, but Andrew kept his eyes trained on the advancing Raven. “Coach wants you to turn on your comms”

He wasn’t going to do it, but he brought his hand up to press the side of his helmet just to get Josten to shut up when he tried to say something again. 

“Listen up, people!” Coach’s voice boomed around his head immediately. “Lure them together and finish the job with one strike. You’ve done this before, for fuck’s sake!”

Andrew cut off his communication with the Command Centre again and took out his blaster. Next to him, Josten did the same.

They shot Engle until he retreaded back towards the middle of the battlefield while the other Rangers drove the regulars together as well. 

“Guys, come on!” The Red Ranger shouted, calling them into formation. 

One by one the rest of the Rangers fell in line with them, and although Andrew stood a couple of steps back, there was a spot for him in the formation right between Red and Green. Josten instructed them to summon their weapons.

“Fox Cannon!” he called, all their weapons flying from their hands to assemble together in his. 

The Rangers new what to do. Pink and Green dropped to one knee to shoulder the weight of the cannon. Blue put a hand on the weapon and another one on Red’s shoulder to help guide his aim and Red spread his legs to gain balance before launching the attack. A second before he did, though, he glanced at the empty spot on his left and then back to lock eyes with Andrew through their visors. He didn’t say anything, just asked a silent question. 

Andrew, Arctic said. Together.

Whether he meant him and the Fox or him and the team, Andrew didn’t know, but he swallowed his pride for the second it would take to finish the job and put a hand on the Red Ranger’s shoulder, the only place he had ever made contact with when participating in the combined attack.

Josten tensed up when his hand made contact, but that could have just been him getting ready for the recoil.

“Fire!”

With a surge of energy, the cannon ignited and the regular Ravens went flying through the air to end up turned into dust before they could hit the ground. The tail end of the attack caught Engle too, and though the cannon had yet to kill a perfect Raven, it did burn enough of his feathers to have him running back to the Nest with his tail between his legs.

When the cannon disassembled and the street went deserted, no Ravens and no civilians either, silence settled over them. 

Pink and Blue and Green looked at each other before staring at Red, no doubt waiting for him to make the call on how they should act. Andrew didn’t have the patience for that.

“You—“ when Josten went to speak to him, Andrew turned on his hills and walked away.

He had done his damned job, he had showed up and helped them finish the Ravens off, he even lent them his weapon to deliver the finishing blow. He was done.

Arctic knew better than to pressure him into staying right now, so he remained silent as the Black Ranger walked away from the scene to leave the stunned group of Rangers behind.

 * * *

Near one of the highways that led in and out of Palmetto and that was fairly close to the Youth Centre, there was an underground tunnel that allowed people to cross under the highway and reach an intersection that would guide them up towards the hill where the Youth Centre rested or down towards the city center. There was also an abandoned parking lot located under a bridge that few people ever used, but the thing that beckoned Andrew to it after every time he went out in the field was the fact that there were no cameras in the vicinity. The place was one of the few truly blind spots in the city, so naturally Andrew had chosen it for the perfect cover it provided to power down.

He went to it now more out of habit than necessity, he guessed, but he was sure as hell too that he would not be going to the Centre back with the team. For one, he could not teleport like they could. And for two… well, he wanted to avoid as much interaction as he could.

Making his way into the tunnel, Andrew checked the coast was clear in case there was the outlier random pedestrian before tapping a hand on his chest.

Power down.

Arctic hummed and the black suit flickered before vanishing in a final blink. 

He felt tired and the nausea that had hit him earlier on the Court threatened to make his stomach roll again.

Rest. Need. You.

Shouldn’t need it. I’ve fought for longer than that.

Comma. Mind. Body.

With a sigh, Andrew massaged his scalp where he still felt the remnants of his less than spectacular tumble down the wall of the Foxhole Court and stepped out of the tunnel to slowly make his way back. 

I could use a nap, he admitted.

Arctic hummed and agreed. He could only hope the walk up the hill wouldn’t worsen a headache he was now only realizing he—

“Well, well, well” Andrew halted in his step when a human looking Captain Engle walked from behind one of the bridge pillars. “If it isn’t the Black Ranger. In the flesh”

The blond immediately took up a fighting stance. “How did you find me?”

The Raven let out a bitter laugh. “After you burned me, I saw you walking away. I decided to follow! Finish my mission and killing one Ranger so I could present your body to the King”

Andrew could see the red patches of skin on Engle’s arms and the burn mark on his throat was impressive too. The Raven was injured and it was looking for revenge.

Fat chance.

“Go back to your Nest” he offered, knowing despite himself that he was in no condition to fight at his best either. The cramping of his stomach muscles to stave off the nausea was proof enough of that.

Andrew, Arctic warned at the same time feathers grew out of Engle’s skin. 

This was the fastest Raven of the lot, fast enough to compete against the Red Ranger’s newest ability to run at lightning speed, so Andrew barely had time to blink before the fully transformed Raven barreled into him and sent him skidding to the ground. Andrew went with the roll and felt the Black Suit materializing over his skin again to protect him from the road rash. By the time he stopped rolling and stood back up, he was panting.

He summoned the Black Shield.

Tired.

I know.

But they needed to fight.

Engle came at him with everything he had. He summoned the Raven sword and they clashed weapons in midair. Andrew’s arms shook with the impact, but he went on. He just didn’t know how long he would be able to hold on.

Help, Arctic called. 

We’re alone.

Team.

After he parried an attack, Andrew shook his head. The very same thing that had made him choose this place was the thing that would doom him now. If there were no cameras around, the monitors of the Command Centre would never pick up on the Raven activity.

You call them.

With a grunt, Andrew staggered back a step. For being hurt himself, Engle was unrelenting. He swung the sword at Andrew again and again, impeding the use of his left arm for he needed to keep the shield up all the time. 

Arctic gave him an idea. With his free hand, Andrew unholstered his blaster and aimed at the Raven’s middle. But he had underestimated Engle’s speed.

The Raven intercepted his arm and grabbed his wrist, keeping the blaster away from himself why he swung the sword yet again against the shield. With his arms open wide, Andrew couldn’t stop the Raven from head-butting him hard enough to knock him to the ground. With his helmet on, it probably hurt the Raven more than him, but the impact left his brain rattled and before he could think about taking aim again, the blaster was kicked from his hand.

He put his feet together and pushed the Raven away. Expecting the fast retaliation this time, Andrew got to his feet and jumped, using the Raven’s shoulders as leverage to hoist himself over him, he turned his body around in midair and tried to bring the shield down like a guillotine, but the Raven was again too fast for him and whirling around, he swung the Raven sword up in a arch, catching Andrew in the middle and sending him flying into a bridge column. 

He shouted at the electrical burn of the blade and then grunted when he collided with the concrete. As a mocking echo of two days ago, he rolled down the column and landed on the floor where his suit proceeded to flicker out of existence to leave him panting and unprotected.

He tried to stagger to his feet quickly, but he needed a second to breathe.

Call them! 

Arctic shouted in his head, making him wince.

CALL THEM!

Andrew dragged a shaking hand over the rough concrete to reach for his phone. Every second that went by, Engle walked calmly towards him.

When his fingers managed to grasp the phone, he fought dizziness to find the alert app on the screen.

CALL!

Arctic shouted again, unnecessarily, and Andrew pushed at the screen right before Engle reached him and lifted him off the ground only to throw him away again later. Andrew made himself land with a roll so he could gain his feet and, pulling one of his knives from under an armband, he charged at the Raven before he could lose his nerve.

He had managed to send the distress signal Wilds had installed on all of their phones, Ranger or not, but he honestly couldn’t put his hand on the fire about anyone heeding his call. It was his job to finish this fight.

Arctic’s denial burned at the back of his head, but Andrew suspected the Fox was too tired after morphing out to say anything clear.

Fighting his own body’s fatigue as much as he fought the Raven, Andrew charged on. Other than the night of the attack at the Centre, and he had been unconscious afterwards to remember anything about it, this was the first time Andrew was forced to morph out of his suit. The aftereffects were dire. 

Still, he pushed through the dizziness and the disorientation and the pain behind his eyelids because he could not let himself open again for another attack. 

He discovered with a grin of satisfaction that normal knives could cut at a Raven’s skin as well as they could cut human flesh, but losing so many of his feathers didn’t sit right with the Raven, for the creature twisted Andrew’s arm to make him drop the weapon and then swept his legs from under him, finishing the job with a kick to the stomach that had him rolling away and peeling the skin of his upper arms against the concrete, his armbands the only reason his forearms remained untouched.

Struggling to breathe, Andrew didn’t have the energy to get back up.

Help, Arctic managed to say. Andrew swallowed.

They’re not coming.

Are.

He didn’t even have the energy to argue anymore. He reached under his armband to retrieve another one of his knives, not sure how much damage he’d be able to inflict before flying through the air again and cursing when Captain Engle used that supernatural speed of his to reach him. Andrew braced himself for impact.

But when the Raven was about to slash down with his sword, the Blue Ranger dropped in front of him to parry the strike with his staff.

The amount of relief he felt at the sight was out of his control, and the shaking in the deepest part of his chest would have reaped out a whimper from his throat if Andrew hadn’t used years of self control to clamp it down.

Kevin was successful in pushing the Raven away and then the other Rangers swept into the scene to keep the Captain occupied. Andrew saw the Red Ranger punching furiously at the thing before Kevin’s frame came into view and called for his attention by extending a hand.

They came.

Did.

“Are you okay?”

Andrew hated this. He hated that he had been too weak to fight his own battle, that he needed saving from one single Raven. And he hated even more the feeling in his stomach that had nothing to do with any of this at all.

Panting heavily, he accepted Kevin’s help to stand but let go as soon as he was up. The Blue Ranger left to join the others.

Andrew brought a hand to his chest. Are you okay?

The Fox hummed but it was faint. He didn’t think he was too hurt, though.

He used the reprieve to catch his breath and focused on how, injured as he also was, Engle wasn’t putting too much of a fight against the team.

The word pulled at that something in the deepest part of his chest, a something that really needed to learn how to get a grip, because a new feeling was emanating from it and Andrew was almost powerless to stop it. Longing.

Seeing the other Rangers fight in their own synchronized way had him fighting against himself to join them. He was too tired. Too injured. Too… wounded to go.

Andrew?

Hmm.

Go?

What for.

Team?

I’ll just disrupt them.

Not?

They’re good without me.

Better?

Andrew shook his head. Nothing was ever better because of him.

The fight was almost done anyway. Andrew could see it in the way Engle’s eyes had lost their glee and were frantically looking for an out to escape. Andrew could just slip away undetected, go back to the Centre and continue trying to bring back the sense of normalcy he had lost when he’d revealed himself as the Black Ranger.

Yes, he would go. That is what was better for everyone.

But then the Red Ranger looked back at him and unholstered his blaster. He waved it in the air like an invitation, like a question. Yes or no?

Andrew pressed harder on his chest. 

Can you? he asked his Fox. 

There was no hesitation.

Can.

Are you sure?

Morph.

Arctic fueled him with determination.

Andrew nodded at Josten and the Red Ranger called the others into formation. Slower than it should have been, with less energy coursing through his body than what he was used to, Andrew morphed back into the Black Ranger and found his way to the place between Red and Green, the same spot that had been opened up for him during the cannon attack, and unholstered his weapon too.  

“Foxes Blast!” Josten called and thunder rumbled above. Five colored energy beams shot down from the sky to connect with everyone’s blasters before the final attack was made. “Now!”

When the Rangers fired, the multicolored attack struck Engle dead on. This was probably the first time they had managed to inflict so much damage to this particular Perfect Raven and although Andrew didn’t think the blasters were enough to end the creature, they were enough to send him crawling back to the Nest once again. 

When the excitement of the battle had died down and everyone holstered their weapons, morphed as they were, the Rangers stood in a circle facing each other.

If they were expecting a thank you, they weren’t going to get one. Andrew hadn’t asked them to come, he hadn’t asked them to save him.

Except he had and fuck them for answering to his call.

“What now?” Boyd asked. No one knew how to answer.

“What were you doing here? How did Engle find you?” Kevin.

He could at least answer that. “I always come here to power down before heading back. He followed me”

He decided not to reprimand his Fox for changing his morphed voice back to normal too. He had expected it anyway after the height betrayal.

“It’s dangerous to be on the field on your own”

“It never has been”

“What about now, huh?” Reynolds interjected.

“What about now makes you care?”

It was Boyd who answered. “We didn’t know it was you before”

“So?”

“So?” the taller man mimicked right back. “Andrew, this means you have always been one of us”

His stomach rolled at the thought but he fought not to give away how much he wanted to vomit his insides out.

“I wouldn’t put it like that” he countered in an even voice.

Then it was Kevin again. “I admit I never supported Neil’s idea of recruiting the Black Ranger into the team, mainly because I didn’t think you would ever agree. But the fact that the five of us together have more power to protect the city is undeniable. You need to take your place with the team”

“I don’t need to do anything” he spat. Give it to Kevin for always managing to sound like an entitled prick.

“Andrew” Josten had remained quiet until that point, but Andrew wasn’t sure he could deal with any more of his dramatic speeches.

“You don’t really want me in your team” he countered Kevin, his own dramatic tendencies not lost on him. “You think you have to put up with me and that’s not the same”

“I want you in the team” someone said and Andrew was taken aback by the fact it had been Boyd and not Josten the one to speak last.

“What”

“Dude, you’re strong and you fight like you should be teaching us how to move” Andrew was about to spit out something about wanting his power but not him when Boyd continued. “But above all, if it’s always been you behind the mask, then you’ve always been a part of the team” he repeated.

“You’re from the Foxhole Court. You’re a fox whether you’re a Ranger or not. That has to count for something” said, surprisingly, Reynolds.

It does, Arctic offered.

When everyone turned to look incredulously at the Pink Ranger, she let out a sigh and crossed her arms over her chest. “Listen, don’t expect kind words from me. That’s just not who I am. But despite how much I hate it, we need you. And, honestly, after this? You need us too”

Andrew. Chance. Team.

It’s dangerous.

It’s not. It’s team.

Already knowing what the answer would be, he asked anyway.

Do you want to join the team?

His Fox beamed and his presence flared.

Yes!

“Don’t expect me to fight every battle” was the answer he gave. 

No one batted an eye. “You’ve made that clear”

“I won’t shout out the ridiculous things you do”

Reynolds shrugged her shoulders. “Fair”

“I’m a basketball substitute coach first”

“But—”

“You can suck off if you don’t like it”

“You’re such an asshole” Reynolds said after a beat, but her tone lacked its usual bite.

“Better the asshole you know than the one you don’t” Boyd added with a self-satisfied upbeat tone, his own posture more relaxed than before.

Kevin groaned under his breath. “That’s not how the saying goes”

“It still applies!”

“It does not. How would you feel if…”

Andrew tuned them out as he contemplated exactly what he had just done. Had he let himself be convinced of doing something he had spent years trying to avoid or was the choice ultimately his? As he regarded his… teammates, some part of him was worried because he couldn’t be entirely sure.

And then, as he continued to watch them bicker at each other, he hated the fact he had to see the world from his normal height as a Power Ranger too.

Sorry. Not sorry.

Menace.

Next to him, Josten’s posture relaxed as well. He looked at the team, his team, their team, and Andrew could practically see through his visor the pull of the redhead’s lips into a fond smile.

“Let’s get back to the Centre” Josten said and extended his hand towards the middle of the circle. The others did so as well, looking like one of the teams of the Court about to shout out a battle cry, and waited for him to join. “Andrew, will you go with us?”

Black Ranger stared at Red Ranger. “I can’t teleport”

“We’ll pull you with us” he replied, as if those fucking words weren’t the same he had spoken to him on his mind when they had been about to jump off the edge. I’ll jump and pull you down with me.

Before he could get lost in the memory, Andrew extended his arm and placed his hand on top of the rest. Then the ground dissolved from underneath his feet and they travelled through time and space as a multicolored beam of light.

The moment his feet were back on solid ground, the Black Ranger suit flickered out of existence and Andrew staggered back, unbalanced, until he had to prop himself up on one of the desks to avoid falling on his ass. 

Coach and Josten made as if to help him, but Andrew stuck a hand out to stop them. Reluctantly, they did. Andrew let his entire weight rest on top of the desk and heaved a sigh when the disorientation from the teleportation receded.

“Power down” the others said and touched their wrists. A second later, they went back to their normal selves.

Andrew had been expecting to be pestered with questions from everyone else who’d had to wait at the Centre without really having eyes on what had happened with Engle but, apart from Coach, the Command Centre was deserted.

The man studied Andrew and he would have liked to stand at his full height under the scrutiny if it weren’t for the fact he was exhausted.

“You did the right thing calling” Andrew didn’t say anything back. Turning to the rest of the team, Coach said, “You have the right to feel cheated because we didn’t tell you who he was. He has his own way of doing things but I accepted his deal because I knew he had the same goal as us: protect the city and protect ourselves. His methods aren’t the same as yours but it is like it is. We either work with it or fall apart. What’s it gonna be?”

Andrew internally grumbled at the trembling in his chest.

“You’re a little late with the speech, Boss”

“Yeah, weren’t you listening? We’re all good”

The man’s eyes turned murderous. “You’re telling me I just said all of that for nothing?”

“Aw, not for nothing, Coach. It was beautifully inspiring”

“Get the hell out of here, you midgets!”

“I’m taller than all of you!”

“You’re mind midgets. Get out of here. Go back down to help with the repairs. Make yourselves useful. I want this Centre back in full swing before the end of the month”

“Aye, aye, captain”

“You two” Coach said when Andrew and Josten went to follow the rest of the team down the stairs. “In there. Now”

He signaled the Medic Bay with a jerk of his head and threatened to fire them both when they grimaced at the command.

Heaving a sigh, Josten went. After a second, Andrew followed.

Coach went in after them.

“Aaron will come up shortly to give you a check up”

“But I’m fi—“

“Do not take what you have been through lightly” the man admonished, effectively shutting Josten up. “I have it on good authority, Abby’s authority, that your bodies are to be drained after being in a comma, however little time you were. You need to rest. You need to heal. And for the sake of all of our sakes, you need to talk. Consider yourselves on timeout. No cleaning, no working, no nothing that has absolutely nothing to do with Raven business and even then, you will only participate the barest minimum to get the job done. Is that clear?”

Andrew was more than okay with that last part so he nodded his head. Josten wasn’t so fast to respond.

“Josten, I wanna hear a yes Coach right now”

“Yes, Coach” he said with a grumble.

“Good. Now, wait for Aaron to clear you and then go take a nap or something. And remember” he said before walking out the door. “Talk”

Alone inside the Medic Bay, Josten’s rabbity feet were shuffling from one to the next and he avoided making eye contact with Andrew, who was staring openly at him as he fretted.

He mimicked his position from outside over the desk by leaning half his weight into a gurney. The movement had Josten’s eyes briefly meeting his before darting away again.

“Are you okay?” he asked, eyes kept away. “For real?”

Andrew took stock of himself, but he didn’t think his answer had anything to do with his body once he gave it. “I will be”

Bee would be so proud.

Josten nodded, still looking away, and Andrew sighed audibly. That was around the same time Aaron burst through the door complaining about idiot Power Rangers who didn’t know how to keep their suits on and stay morphed.

Andrew had to wait for a full minute before Josten’s gaze accidentally crossed his again and he hurried to jerk his chin up before he could either lose his nerve or Josten looked away again.

Roof? was the silent question.

Josten’s eyes were hopeful if a little weary. He nodded.

The redhead was the first to fall under the scrutiny of their resident EMT, so Andrew hopped himself further into the gurney and set himself to wait. It was only late afternoon and with the conversation that was still hanging over their heads, the day was far from over.

 * * *

Andrew pushed the door to the roof open and didn’t hold it for Josten, who had been walking a few steps behind him.

Andrew, Arctic admonished with a reproachful tone.

Ignoring the Fox, Andrew made sure to stay as far away from the edge as possible, which left them standing near the door once it shut itself closed.

What will do. You?

Andrew wasn’t sure. He wanted things to go back to normal, to how they were before. Was it even possible? 

Yes.

Andrew disagreed. At least not without leveling the playing field.

“Let’s play a round” he blurted out without much preamble. He could tell he’d caught the other man by surprise. Good. “You found out everything that lives in my brain. It’s only fair”

“You already know everything there is to know about me”

“There must be something else” something to balance the scale.

Andrew wanted to make Josten feel as vulnerable and seen as he felt with all of his darkest parts exposed. It was the only way he could think of that would allow him to move forward.

Josten’s brow pulled in the middle. “You already know that my past is a lie. That my scars tell a story of torture and pain. You know I didn’t use to give a fuck about anything other than staying alive but now I care about so much more. You already know I’ve never thought about anyone the way I think about you. That I’ve never trusted anyone in my life the way I trust you”

Andrew’s expression darkened. “You shouldn’t”

“Shouldn’t what?”

“Trust me”

“Why?”

“Didn’t you see? I beat three men within an inch of their lives”

“You were protecting Nicky”

“I was drugged to the gills and manic for two years”

“It wasn’t by choice”

“I didn’t protect you from Drake” Andrew honestly hadn’t meant for the conversation to go down that path, but there had been so many things out of his control lately he figured he would just go with the ride and see where it took him.

Josten’s expression softened. “It was a nightmare, Andrew. It wasn’t you”

“All of it was me. I thought those things”

“We don’t choose our nightmares”

“Don’t play it down”

“I’m not. If anything, I was the one who couldn’t protect you from him”

Now Andrew was angry and he needed to do something about it. He walked closer to Josten and wrapped a hand around his throat. When the redhead didn’t so much as flinch, Andrew pushed until he had Josten pinned to the door of the roof. He didn’t know what to say.

Careful.

He felt Josten swallow under his palm. “I’m not afraid of you. You wouldn’t hurt me”

“You don’t know that” he growled.

“Yes, I do”

Andrew squeezed his neck but Josten remained calm, breathing shallowly but calm, until Andrew released him and turned around. They had reached a stale point and they needed to move on.

Calm.

Taking a deep breath, Andrew longed for the pull of a cigarette. 

They were playing a round, so he owed it to the rules of the game to be honest.

“You found out about things I wasn’t ready to tell you”

You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

“I’m so—“ he didn’t want to hear the guilt in Josten’s voice, which is why he remained facing away so he wouldn’t have to see it in his face either.

“But it has come to my attention that if you hadn’t done what you did, Arctic would have died too. I don’t know how to move on from that”

Bee would have a field trip day when he told her about all the heartfelt confessions he had done in one single day.

Since the sun was beginning to make its way down the horizon, the late afternoon breeze was like a balm of relief over his heated skin. He focused on that sensation while Josten thought about what to say. Eventually, the redhead spoke.

“I’ve spent all this time thinking about what to say. I know you don’t like apologies and I already did that earlier. At some point I was going to tell you that if you asked me to, I would leave. Disappear forever and never come back” the idea made something dangerously awful sink to the pit of his stomach and Andrew had to turn around and gauge Josten’s expression in search of the lie, the trap. The redhead’s forehead was creased with the intensity with which he spoke, but Andrew couldn’t see any traces of deception in his eyes. “But I can’t do that. I have a team now and a responsibility that I’m not backing away from. You taught me that”

Andrew’s heart was beating off rhythm no matter how much he tried to will it to slow down. “And if I told you to give the Fox to someone else? To pick up your things and go. To fucking jump off the roof if it meant not seeing you ever again?

“The answer would still be no” he said with a hardened resolve. “I am not going”

Andrew didn’t think he had ever been so glad to hear a no thrown his way. But the redhead wasn’t done talking.

“I won’t talk to you again if you don’t want to. I won’t bother you anymore if you ask me to. Even though that’s not what I want to do, I will leave you alone. If you ask me to.  But I won’t be gone come tomorrow because you made me promise to stay with you once we got out of your mind and I intend to keep that promise”

“You suddenly grew a pair, using words you never should have listened to against me” the words didn’t come out with the intended hostility and he blamed tiredness and mental exhaustion for it.

“It is like it is” Josten replied, copying Coach’s words from earlier. “Are we gonna work with it or fall apart?”

“I don’t need you in my life”

“Maybe not. But I think you want me in it and that’s okay” 

“I can’t be what you want me to be, Neil. I won’t act like the Andrew you talked to inside my mind”

“Andrew, I don’t want you to be anyone other that who you are now”

For lack of anything else to say, Andrew glared at the other man. He seemed to have woken up inspired, though, because Josten had far from exhausted his words.

“The things you told me about us in your mind, I would gladly forget them if it would put you at ease. But I can’t and this is all new to me and I never in a million years expected to feel the way I do but… I want you to know I feel the same way”

You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

Was this the truth Andrew had been looking for? The one piece of information that would make them equals in whatever it was they had going on between them?

He remained silent until Neil spoke again. “What do we do now?”

“What do you want to do?”

“I don’t want to shy away from this just because it’s new”

“There’s no this” he spat in a knee-jerk reaction.

The redhead seemed to think for a moment. The moment dragged on for longer than two minutes and seeing the hand he had resting over his chest, Andrew realized he must have been talking to his Fox. Finally, Neil said, “Let’s make a deal”

Andrew made a go on gesture with his hand.

“I promise never to assume and trespass a boundary again. And you give us, this, whatever you wanna call it, however way you want to define it, a chance”

Arctic?

Hmm.

It could backfire again.

Could.

I’d be handing him the leash again.

Not leash. Trust.

Isn’t it the same thing?

Not.

Josten was patient as it was his turn to talk to his Fox.

Instead of focusing on what he didn’t want, burning himself again, feeling betrayed again, he dared focus on what he did want. He wanted to hold Neil to his promise of staying, he wanted to put a hand to the back of the redhead’s neck and seek the same comfort he knew the gesture gave the other man. He wanted to keep Neil Josten in his life and he didn’t want to shy away from him just because he had risked his hatred in order to save him. No one had ever done that for Andrew. Not even himself.

“Deal”

Deal.

“Deal” the redhead broke into a grin and Andrew had to look away.

They silently walked closer to each other to stand side by side, not touching but close, and stared at the city beyond the edge of the roof. Andrew still didn’t feel steady enough to go near it.

After a while, he turned to study Neil’s profile while the redhead looked on ahead, a small smile still playing on his lips.

Staring, Arctic said.

“Staring” Neil parroted.

Clenching his hands into fists, he forced himself to look away. There was nothing else he could say.

Except.

“I hate you”

Next episode: The Corsac Fox