Chapter Text
I woke up with a start at the sound of the front door slamming. I didn’t get out of the bed to see what had happened, there was no need to, I already knew. I buried myself deep into my pillow and pulled my duvet up to my chin, as I let out a deep sigh. He had left… again. Once again he had left without warning, without telling me where he was going or when he was coming back, and it didn’t even surprise me. Why would it with the fight we’d had just hours before? It had started out small, like our fights always did. And then, like always, it got blown out of proportion.
And yet this fight had been different from the others. On his part it had been louder, like he was fighting his hardest to keep the dying love between us alive. While I was calmer than I had ever been during one of our fights, which probably pissed him off even more. It was usually me who fought for our relationship and him who would just sit there looking at me like I was crazy, but somehow our roles had switched this time.
It all culminated when I suddenly asked, “Will you still be here tomorrow, David? Or will you just leave again?” That had made him so angry that he slapped me, before he proceeded to giving me the silent treatment, ignoring everything I said or did. Like he would always do. The slap made me give up any hope I had left for our relationship, so I just left him alone to let him decide what he wanted to do. Unsurprisingly, that had been to leave again.
I knew that he would come crawling back in a day or two, apologizing for what he had said and done, telling me how much he still loved me. It had happened too many times in the last two years, and all the previous times I had given in and let him come back. But this time I wouldn’t, he had left one too many times now. So I decided that whenever he came back, I wouldn’t be there anymore. Not because I didn’t care about him anymore, because I did, if anything I cared too much. I just couldn’t take the pain and the feeling of being choked this relationship was now giving me.
Was I weak for leaving him? For giving up on our seven year long relationship and two year long engagement? It really felt like I was. But I couldn’t talk myself into staying any longer, we were not happy anymore and staying would just serve to torture us. And as much as I did this to spare myself pain, I couldn’t let him suffer anymore either.
I slowly pulled the duvet off of me and sat up on the edge of my bed, as I tried to come up with a plan for what I would do and where I would go now. I was not going to stay with my parents, it would be too easy for him to find me there. And I knew that if he knew where I was, he would come find me to get me to come back.
After I had gotten dressed, I walked around the house finding the things of immediate need that I could bring with me. It was a weird feeling, walking around a dark empty house, packing to leave in the dead of night. I wondered if David had felt that way when he had done it, or if after a while it was like a routine for him. I couldn’t stand the thought, either of him or me doing what I was doing, so I picked up the pace, hurrying to get out of there. Just before I left, I wrote a letter for David. Telling him goodbye, and that I was sorry for leaving him like that, knowing if I had to do it in person he would find some reason to make me stay. And as I told him in the letter, that wouldn’t be good for us anymore. I put the engagement ring he had given me on top of the letter, finally feeling ready to take it off and leave for good.
For a while I just walked around town, not knowing exactly where I was going. Tears were running down my cheeks, I just couldn’t stop them. The pain of letting go of what I had spent the last seven years of my life building, was acute and I almost couldn’t stand it. But I kept going.
It didn’t take me long to make my way to the street where the bar David and I had first met was. I hadn’t even noticed that was where I was going, and I stopped dead in my tracks when I realized that I was standing across the road from it. Why did I have to bring myself here? I didn’t want to drag myself through the memories of the good years, not now that I had finally found the courage to leave him. It wasn’t even like I had gotten there on my own, more like someone or something had pulled me there. Just as I was about to turn and walk away, I saw David walk out of the bar. He wasn’t alone.
He had his arm wound tightly around a woman’s waist, they were smiling and laughing with each other. They didn’t make it far down the street before he pulled the woman close to him and kissed her deeply, and when he pulled away he had the biggest and most seductive smile on his face. He was happier than I had seen him in months, or maybe even years. The sight of it was like a punch in the gut, I might have been ready to leave him, but I was nowhere near ready to see something like this. As the two walked out of my line of sight, I sank to my knees on the sidewalk with tears streaming down my face.
Not long after another figure appeared in the corner of my eye, it was a figure I knew well. I had seen him so many times, but he had never been this close to me before. I had always wondered why he always seemed to be watching me, but I had never gotten the chance to ask him before now.
“You again?” I asked him when I had calmed down again, in the meantime he had walked up to stand beside me. He was wearing, what looked to be, a custom made suit, a warm coat and a scarf. I could clearly remember the first time I saw him, the day of the attack on New York. The saddest day of my life. The day I lost my baby, and the day everything changed. He seemed to have been there from that day on.
“I am afraid so, little one.” He didn’t seem surprised that I recognized him, as if we knew each other well even though we had never spoken before.
“Why?” I asked as I finally looked up at him, meeting his emerald eyes. “Why are you here? Why are you always here?”
“I am watching over you, making sure you are all right.” He then took off his coat and draped over my shoulders since I started shivering in the cold night air, I had forgotten my own coat in my hurry to leave the house.
“Do I look like I’m all right?” I snapped at him angrily. He looked at me with sad eyes, almost looking guilty, which was a look I never expected to see him display. “Why are you looking so guilty? It is not like any of my misery is your fault.”
“But it is, little one, it’s all my fault.” I looked at him in disbelief over the words he had just said, he must have seen it in my eyes. “I will explain it to you, but not here.”
“Why not here?” I suddenly got up and looked him straight in the eyes. I was angry, but I wasn’t quite sure if it was with him or David. “What is wrong with telling me here?”
“Well, for one thing, it is cold here.” He told me as he took a step closer, keeping eye contact with me as he pulled his coat tighter around me. “And explaining this to you might take quite a long time.”
“Where would we go?” I whispered when I realized that I had nowhere to go, I didn’t have a home anymore. “Where do I go?” There it was again, that look of guilt.
“I have a place we can go.” He said and gently brushed away the tears that streamed down my cheeks. “But to get there I need you to trust me.”
Trust him? He had said he was the cause of all my misery, and he wanted me to trust him? I looked deep into his eyes, searching for some sign that would tell me if I should trust him or not. All I saw in his eyes were guilt, sadness and his silent plead for my trust. This was the god who had destroyed New York in his attempt to take over the earth, and here he was stroking my cheek gently while almost holding me in his embrace. I didn’t pull away from him, I couldn’t see why I should, there was no reason for me to fear him.
“Please, Tessa.” His voice was soft as he pleaded with me. I wasn’t surprised that he knew my name, he had watched over me for two years so he must have heard it several times.
I just nodded my head to give him my answer, I was too exhausted to talk. Seeing David with that other woman had caused my world to crash around me. I knew that I had left him and it shouldn’t matter to me anymore, but he still thought I was at home waiting for him and yet he was with another woman. He had been my life for the last seven years, and suddenly I didn’t know how much of it had been a lie.
When I nodded Loki smiled softly and pulled me into a tight embrace, and I just gave into it and wrapped my arms around his waist. He told me hold on as tightly as I could until he said it was okay for me to let go. I did as I was told as he spoke to the heavens, and suddenly we were surrounded by light and forcefully pulled from the earth. I buried my face in his chest to shield my eyes from the bright light, while clinging to him so tightly I thought I might have hurt him, had he not been a god.
My mind was so overwhelmed by everything that had happened that night, that I didn’t lift my head from his chest when I felt safe ground underneath my feet. I didn’t even let go of him when he told me it was all right to do so, I was too exhausted to do anything other than letting this man I didn’t even know, hold me tightly. He didn’t seem to mind it at all, he only held me tighter before I felt him flick his wrist and we suddenly moved to a totally different place. Suddenly we were in a bedroom, standing next to a big canopy bed. He gently picked me up in his arms and put me in the bed, tucking me into the soft sheets. But when he then stood up and looked like he was about to leave, I grabbed hold of his hand so he wouldn’t leave me.
“You’re not leaving me, are you?” I asked him softly, with an exhausted tone of voice. “Weren’t you going to tell me, well, you know?”
“I will tell you, dear Tessa, but right now you’re too tired to listen.” He told me as he leaned down to kiss my forehead. “I will tell you in the morning.”
He was about to turn to leave the room, but I wouldn’t let go of his hand. He was the only one I knew in the realm he had brought me to, so I wasn’t very happy about letting him leave me alone. “Won’t you stay with me? I don’t want to be alone.”
“If you want me to stay, then of course I will.” He told me as he gave my hand a little squeeze, before he walked around to the other side of the bed and crawled in beside me.
“Thank you.” I whispered softly as I got more comfortable in the bed, took his hand, closed my eyes and quickly fell asleep.