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A Reylo one-shot where Kylo is smitten with Rey at first sight and so, naturally, panics.
Death wasn't some cloudy figure in the shadows, because Kylo grew past that phase thank you very much. And sure, he'd never been big at parties like some of the other gods and deities, but it wasn't like he was never out in public. (He had to get coffee at least.) People who say you only saw death once in your life were exaggerating. Or they just needed to travel to him, dammit. Because as creepy as Maine was to some people (mostly thanks to the grand Stephen King), it wasn't perpetual darkness. Even in winter there was the bright snow.
But right now it wasn't that blessed season of suspended animation, where people with allergies could breathe free. Oh no: It was the height of summer. With wild flowers abound and birds singing now that their little shits, or more colloquially known as children, were off to make it in the world. Leaving their own little shits (literally) on cars and heads alike.
Kylo wasn't having that sunny of a moment as he bent down to clean up after his dog. While Cerberhux did have three heads, his shits made him seem like a whole pack. Sometimes Kylo wondered why his life seemed to revolve around excrement. He tried not to read all that much into it.
"You're lucky I tolerate you," Kylo growled as he found a trashcan. "At least you're better than Chewie."
Hux narrowed his six blue eyes up at him, and Kylo sighed before continuing on.
Just thinking about the mountain of fur his father called his best friend made Kylo wonder when the last time he had been up above was. While he enjoyed watching mortals - tripping and falling down stairs, throwing skittles at passing cars, getting drunk on boring Tuesday afternoons, crying over paper cuts – there was something delightful in the eternal way gods willingly screwed up.
After all, it hadn't been that long since the switch had been declared, and Kylo had been thrust into the underworld while others got better gigs. Sure, that Finn guy was 'great,' but did he really deserve to be the god of grace? And that boyfriend of his- Poe or whatever, who got to be the god of messages and thievery. Kylo would've been better at either job but no, he'd been stuck with the underworld.
Sure, he got the legacy of his Grandfather, but then again he had to deal with people screaming about their death and its circumstances. Mortals in retail thought they had it bad: at least they could do returns. Kylo could only shrug and say some bullshit like 'welcome to the beyond.'
Kylo watched as a couple ran by, eyes on each other and breathless as they trotted along with their slimy love lives.
Slyly, Kylo rose a hand and flexed, a bolt of ice shot out, and soon the sound of the two mortals screeching could be heard. Ah, it truly was hilarious to see them fall down so easily.
.
Kylo decided to suck it up and slink over to the New Year's party. Which his Father hosted every year, always finding entertainment in how humans tried to force dates as a boundary for the endless time that even gods would succumb to one day.
He hadn't been to one of these parties since he was a budding god, and all the insecurity and uncertainty washed back over him like a tsunami. Kylo almost turned around and dove to the bottom of the Styx, if only just to get away. To drown in a non-metaphorical sense.
His mother, of course, was ecstatic that he 'graced his presence' on them this year. She pulled him along, introducing him to some of the new recruits that both flinched and stared at the God of Death. But Kylo had been through it all before, and so he just sighed and nodded, glad that he'd remembered his mask so he didn't have to school his face as well as his voice and body.
Leia still introduced him as Ben, and after trying to correct her for the fourth time, Kylo decided to let it go.
He entertained himself with drinking the punch that was too sweet to do any good to his head. But it did well to distract him, and when Kylo turned and saw someone worth remembering, he realized in a start that he was halfway gone.
She stood between Poe and Finn, the two men laughing and jostling her with their elbows to at least chuckle along. Her teeth were straight and white, shining like Kylo's personal collection of assorted skeletons. Her hair was tied back in three buns, and Kylo could just imagine the fates cooing over her if he brought her down to his domain. Three was a sign of luck.
"Oh yes, I quite forgot you haven't met our little Rey yet," Leia said with a laugh and a hand at his arm. Kylo was too focused on what his mother would say next to shake her off. "Luke tells me she came from a desert far away. So he decided to adopt her and bring her into the family. She has a lovely knack for making things grow. Must be how she managed to manifest even in such an unforgiving wasteland."
Rey must have heard her name, or felt their eyes, because she turned to them then. She blinked at him, and gave a shy smile to Leia, before turning away.
Unlike Kylo, in his black clothes and cape, the mask shining silver the only light, she was the definition of sun in her cream robes. The warm leather at her waist reminded Kylo of the earth, of the inevitability of ever mortal life returning to it. Of how they had at least one connection.
Kylo would gladly kill useless humans so they could make her flowers grow strong.
"Such a shame Luke hid her away for such a long while. Only revealing her to us when she came of age. That blasted hermit. At least he's good about his harvests and that responsibility."
Kylo nodded, still silent and mute and light-headed.
"So be nice to your sheltered little cousin," his mother prodded one more time before drifting away.
"I can do that," Kylo said to himself.
.
So maybe this was absolutely not his finest hour. But everyone fucked up: it wasn't solely human to err. Although the species sure liked to take credit for nearly everything they did. No wonder the faeries and centaurs spent hours (had festivals, too) making human jokes and messing with their heads and forests.
But Kylo had felt her when he'd arrived at the surface to give Hux his daily walk. She wasn't far away, and he simply tunneled over to her with a whining, impatient Hux in tow.
She had stood in a start, glared, said something about not bothering her else Master Luke would come- and Kylo may have panicked a little. May have knocked her out a little with a wave of his hand. May have opened up another portal in the earth and taken her below, past the roots that she helped grow, to the world that was beyond and Kylo's alone.
He put her down gently, and stared at her because what else was he supposed to do?
He'd just kidnapped a venerable goddess, with the highest of connections and technically part of his own family.
One of Hux's heads huffed, another butted his thigh, and a third bit his arm. Kylo hissed and shushed him away; the creature could deal without a walk for once. The multi-red-headed heathen was already late for his guarding position.
When Rey awoke, she immediately jumped up and tired to surround him with vines of rich gold and blue flowers. Thankfully this was Kylo's domain, and the plants died at his touch, but then she was throwing fruit at him. First oranges, and then grapefruits, and then watermelons. And she'd looked so frail.
"Why did you bring me here? Let me out!" she yelled, and Kylo involuntarily winced.
"You won't be harmed," Kylo said, trying to take a step forward even with the scattering of fruits at his feet just waiting to trip him.
"My Father will hear about this!"
"Like my own won't? And it's not Uncle Luke's season here," Kylo argued hotly. "Just what do you think he'd do? Who would save you? Those prats you call friends, with the orange winged shoes and dopey grin? Your friends have no power over me. You have no power over me."
The girl looked at him then, eyes bright in the darkness, and Kylo took a step back and sighed. He really was mucking this all up, their first official meeting. He'd left that party in a huff before they could make a formal greeting, and now he regretted it.
Kylo took off his mask, and set it down like it was a heirloom from his grandfather, instead of this entire realm.
"I'm Kylo. Kylo Ren."
"I thought your name was Ben Solo."
Kylo blinked at that, and his lips twitched as if he wanted to smile. But that was a person long past, before he'd had a whole world of the dead to deal with.
"That was before my Father put he down here."
"How hard, for you to have a job."
"Unlike spring, and making the green things grow, death is endless. Always. You think dealing with the heavy regrets, all those sins, their sadness – that I wouldn't change? Wouldn't want to leave who I was behind?"
"You whine so much I'd say Jabba should be concerned about his followers."
"Do not compare me to that sluggish creature of overindulgence," Kylo snapped. "And secondly: how dare you make such an awful pun."
"Apparently your sense of humor died here with your dignity."
"So energetic for one so ignorant," Kylo snapped, taking two quick strides to be directly in Rey's space.
She shrunk back, her hands clenched at her chest. He noticed how her wrists were small, fragile like a sapling's branches or a swallow's wing. Her eyes were the only vibrant green in this whole world of dark pines and snow, and Kylo wanted to take another step. But this time in comfort, to show that he just wanted to learn about her. To learn exactly who and what she was.
Rey reacted by throwing a cloud of pollen at him. Which prompted Kylo into a sneezing fit.
"Maybe you should've kept your mask on."
"Thanks."
Rey remained silent as Kylo attempted to hack out both lungs.
"You're such a shit," Rey said with a heavy frown on her light face.
Kylo sighed: there it was. Again. Story of his life.
.
Kylo left her alone for a bit, first to regain his dignity from the pollen attack. And then to make sure nothing had lazed in his little trip to the surface, and what had followed after.
But everything was the same: his agents in white were doing well in helping new acquisitions, and Hux was doing his job without any incessant yapping. The world that was his own, icy and remote, was doing well. So he returned to the odd thorn in this flawless, meticulous place.
Kylo brought her a plate of pomegranate, because it was the only fruit that grew here and he wanted to try and approach with some sort of peace offering. She would understand and care about such a thoughtful gesture.
"Like I'd eat that," Rey said with a snarl and kick at his shins.
"Im trying to be nice," Kylo said through grinding teeth.
"Then let me go," she snarled. "I don't want to be here. I don't want to see you."
"You grew up in a desert alone, so I'll forgive you for your lapse of manners," Kylo said as he put the silver platter down with a crash. Against the wall. Because he had a bad habit of throwing things.
"How courteous of you," Rey said dryly, eyes on the pomegranate stain on the wall that dripped red like blood.
Rey tucked her legs further into herself, as if she could protect herself from Kylo if he chose to truly hurt her. Her eyes didn't leave his body as he paced back and forth before her, coat trailing and snapping when he turned on his heel.
"Do you fear me?"
Rey continued to be silent, but her eyebrows lowered in a furrow. It was enough of an answer.
"Don't you feel it? This connection between us. Of the earth and the never ending circle between life and death?"
Rey lowered her head between her knees, so only her eyes were visible. It was unnerving, how she refused to admit that there was something between them. Something worthy to spend time to explore and nurture.
"Master Luke said not to trust you," she said softly.
"Because of what my Father turned me into? Because of what was forced on my shoulders? My responsibilities?"
"You're darkness."
"And you're light. We exist together, our boarders always touching but never overlapping.."
Rey's head lifted at that, revealing her frown. Kylo's fingers reached out, and then fell at the idea of running his gloved fingers down the side of her face. She would shiver, would hate him more than she already did.
Just like his words, which were as hard for him to say as her to hear. He'd felt the same aching loneliness, and for the first time he wanted to grow a bond with another. He wanted them to connect, bring her to his world. So he may teach her powers, teach her things Uncle Luke no doubt even mentioned.
Yet this was not the way to go, with her grimacing and juice staining his walls. She was too young, too free willed to listen to someone who had lived through seasons of despair and boredom. Maybe if Kylo actually exercised some patience she would return to him on her own.
He'd captured her without a thought; maybe he should release her with the same amount of care.
.
Kylo didn't end up having much choice in the matter.
He'd returned to Rey's assigned room with an offer for dinner, and then to release her. Only she was no where in the dark room, the god even getting down on all fours to check under the bed.
He sent out an alarm, and of course it made his white-armored workers go into a frenzy. Hux increased to thrice his size, an honest monster as he tried to catch her sense.
It was pride more than anything that demanded they find and catch her again: no one had ever escaped Starkiller while Kylo had been under management of it. The other gods had laughed at him enough from changing the name from Deathstar; he would never hear the end of it if he let a soul escape when that was prerogative numero uno when it came to his world.
(Sure, Finn had been whisked away, but he'd been out of the world. He hadn't truly escaped.)
Han would never let it down. That in and of itself was enough incentive for Kylo to personally sprint around, searching for Rey's unique aura in a world of stillness.
Instead what he found were orange feathers and carriage tracks: that damned Poe had been here. Which of course meant his boyfriend wasn't very far behind, and also that the three were far gone by now. Poe had the fastest carriage in the god's fleet: it was one of the main reasons for his promotion to bring up the sun everyday. And of course Finn would know some of the older tunnels used by the troops to get to the surface without Kylo's powers.
So Kylo went back to his room. Took off his mask. Lied down in bed and stared at the ceiling in numb shock.
Then he grabbed the nearest pillow and screamed into it.
.
Kylo didn't know what to expect as recompense for abducting a new goddess from one of the biggest heroes in their tight-knit group. Maybe banishment for a few hundred years. Maybe a slap hard enough to brand a scar across his face from Rey.
Instead Kylo waited all winter with nothing, absolutely nothing, coming to get him. Not even the infamous lack-luster attitude of his Father wanting to know what he was doing.
It was worse than any other punishment Kylo had gone through. The waiting was brutal, and when it was finally spring above, he decided that maybe it was safe enough to come out of hiding.
It was Rey's first year with godly duties, and Leia sent him a personal invite to a gathering held in her honor. Kylo was either sure his mother knew, meaning this was a trap, and she was going to disown him. Or she had no idea, and this would be the perfect opportunity to show everyone else that everything was a-ok (because who would show up to a person's birthday party unless they were on good terms). It would create a good cover if Rey actually decided to become vindictive in the near future.
The girl was gorgeous of course. She wasn't dressed in her usual drab canvas colors, instead in a bright white gown with flowing, looping cloth. A crown sat atop her head of small blue flowers that glowed as they climbed and twisted over each other to further become tangled in her warm hair. Kylo never thought he'd be envious over flowers, but here he was.
He wore his mask, as he usually did to family functions to avoid eye contact and overall attention, so it took Rey a bit to see him standing in a corner. Definitely not hiding in the shadows, or fidgeting his fingers in a random rhythm behind his back in nerves.
"You have some nerve to show your face here."
Kylo stared at her, and then tapped at his mask.
"You get what I'm trying to say," Rey said in a growl, reaching forward and grabbing his elbow in some attempt at intimidation. It did make Kylo's body start, but most likely not in the way the goddess had intended. Their energies buzzed and bounced off each other.
Kylo cleared his throat before saying: "Did you enjoy the bodies?"
Rey blinked.
"I made winter especially harsh, so you could look all the brighter. The added death enriched your earth as well, did they not?"
"I can't tell if I'm more confused or disgusted."
Kylo frowned, and shook off her hold to go to the punch. Hopefully it would be like last time- but alas. There wasn't anything special in it except for lemons and mint. He grabbed for a straw, but his hand was slapped away. From of course the party girl herself again.
"You might want to watch yourself," Kylo said lightly as he tried to grab for another straw, and was once again blocked. "People are looking. You might disappoint your beloved Master Dad Luke."
"At least I care about my family."
"Was that supposed to hurt me? You have a lot more to learn," Kylo sighed as he gave up on the straw and walked away.
Surprisingly, Rey continued to trail after him. Her dress fanning out behind her, the blue flowers glowing brighter and moving with increased agitation. She followed him all the way to a balcony, where Kylo looked down at the clouds below, and then the storm that was Rey's face.
Since he'd failed at gaining access to a straw, and since no one was really out here besides them two, Kylo took off his mask with a snap and put it down. He raised his drink and idly sipped it.
"Are we even going to talk about it?"
"Yeah, I have some recommendations for this drink," Kylo said as poured the rest of the bland lemonade off the balcony. Maybe that would give some weird new following below: piss raining from the skies above.
"I meant how you abducted me, and it was only through my friends coming to get me that I managed to get back above ground and away from you."
Kylo frowned, and remembered belatedly that his mask was off. He tried to school his face into something lesser, something unfeeling, but there was a reason why the god of death wore a mask. (Dramatic purpose was only half of it.)
"I don't want to see you ever again."
Rey kept her eyes on him for a moment longer, as if to make her words absorbed like venom, before she was gone in a blur of golden skin and billowing silk. Kylo turned his eyes form his empty glass to the world below, and wondered if he'd survive a fall from this high.
Now that would definitely start up some rumors for the mortals.
.
The years passed, and Kylo resumed avoiding everyone and everything. He had work to do below, and his aid were only half-competent despite the years of service. They watched his tantrums with disapproval, but maybe if they worked better, Kylo wouldn't have them.
He assumed the world continued on above. Eventually Hux was unbearable to deal with, so he resumed taking the dog above ground. It was the best in winter, when he knew Rey would be too preoccupied with helping Luke on the other hemisphere. Here he was safe, while she battled the threatening world of Australia. (Which was dangerous even for Gods.)
Kylo continued on like he'd been doing before Rey had popped her head up from the sand. Before he even knew she existed past the pull of the changing seasons, of knowing when to step down to allow others their time in the sun.
His mother complained about him not coming to gatherings anymore, so to pacify her, he came to the annual Winter Solstice held in his honor. It hadn't been done since Vader's years, and even Han seemed gleeful at another chance for a party.
Not that there was much to celebrate in Kylo's name or cause. He arrived late to see the place in full swing, spirits and gods alike dancing without a care and taking what looked to be suspiciously like Greek Fire shots. Except the wood nymphs, who eyed the little blue balls of fire with contempt.
"There's my Ben," Leia said gleefully. "My favorite son."
"I'm your only son, Mother," Kylo reminded cooly, voice distorted in his mask enough to hide the unwanted warmth.
"Someone's been asking for you."
"What."
"Well, Luke enquired about you. It's been so long since your training was cut short with him, and what with Rey now- he laughed talking about how opposite you two are. How he has to teach her things entirely different from you."
"He never wanted to teach me," Kylo said automatically. "He didn't think me good enough."
"He's always seen the light in you. You were just too stubborn to accept it, and then Rey came along- and it was the only path for her."
"Are you telling me I could've been the god of eternal youth if I'd tried harder?" Kylo asked, laugh more like a bark in its foreign feeling. "Thanks for telling me this on my holiday."
"Oh, I think it's funny. Now go along. Mingle."
Kylo hated that word and all it stood for, but he'd been by himself for so long it was good to see his kind making a farce of themselves. Of Poe trying to lift Finn and fly off with him, but his assistant BB-8 holding them back by those god-awful orange sandals. (Kylo was just glad the feathered shoes of atrocity weren't living things, so he'd never have to accommodate them in his world.)
He finally did get around to talking with Uncle Luke. Or at least sitting in silence next to him, while the older god offered some obscure words of help. It was oddly comforting, as usually others who were stupid (not brave) enough to talk to him bombarded Kylo with invasive questions and nervous titters.
Rey appeared some time later, and Luke was swept away by Han before he could properly talk to his past and present pupils together.
Kylo continued to sit, and tapped his fingers on his knees, before standing up to go. He was more than a tad shocked when Rey reached up and grabbed his arm, pulling him down to resume sitting next to her. He refused to fidget, but his fingers resumed tapping.
"Master told me you were his best pupil until you turned to the darker side."
"Don't ask me for pointers. That's cheating, you know."
"I-I wouldn't ask for your help," Rey said, cheeks staining pink like apple blossoms.
Kylo focused his gaze on her for a moment longer before turning away, leaning back with a sigh. He could've been a better teacher to her. Show her the powers that surged in the earth, that could be taken instead of nurtured for those beings lower than them.
But she was light and good- and when Kylo turned to her again, her eyes were back on the crowds with a soft smile. How lonely she must have been, born in a wasteland without anyone around. Without her powers manifested enough to grow company in such a desolate place. And even when she was found, she was kept there. To grow up strong, but with loneliness as an ever-present companion.
Kylo recognized it all too well, having inherited the Underworld at such a young age himself. Vader had decided to go beyond the beyond to follow his wife, and who were the others to stop him? Kylo didn't even remember his face. He wished he could've met him once, but his parents had been adamant about him staying away. And then thrusting his kingdom on him. It still confused Kylo.
(Now that he gave thought to it, hadn't Padmé been the goddess of harvest? The spot that Luke had taken over, deciding to proceed his mother in light instead of his father. But that would create too perfect a parallel between Kylo and Rey now.)
Still, the thought of it made Kylo turn to her, to count the sparse freckles on her checks for a moment. It was a lapse of control, and it only continued when he opened his mouth.
"If you're-"
Rey turned to his voice, eyes wide and innocent. Green and brown in tandem, like a fawn hiding in the grass to wait for its mother. Kylo found his voice, the words intended, stuck in his throat. He'd been by himself so long, and he was suddenly struck with fear at what it would be like to let someone in.
She was still staring at him, her eyebrows lowering slowly, and Kylo felt like an idiot. So he stood and stiffly walked away. Back to his dark, familiar world.
.
Kylo shoved the hand not holding Hux's leash in his pocket, finding pleasure in watching the warm puffs of air crystalize in this frozen masterpiece of his.
He enjoyed the park in winter most, and not only because he was in his element. He enjoyed it for the lack of people, for the crisp air. For the way Hux's paw prints pressed effortlessly into featherlight snow. How he could wear as many layers of black, and no one scoffed or stared at the impracticality of his favorite color.
"Good morning."
Kylo absolutely did not jump like a squirrel when he turned to see Rey. She was in her usual garb, the flowers bright against her head again. Despite the cold, she still didn't wear shoes. Kylo looked down to see steam coming off the ground, and realized she was so warm, so lively, she was melting the snow around her.
She made a sight, but Kylo had never felt so bitter and alone at the sight of her. It made the young god turn with a huff, shoulders hunched up to his ears as he began briskly walking away.
"Hey- wait!"
Kylo further picked up his pace, wondering just what type of joke this was. What did she have to gain, searching him out without the power of her season. It must be some prank from her two friends.
"I just- for fuck's sake!"
Kylo turned at the sudden change of tone, and caught just the end of Rey falling on her behind as she slid on ice. Of course it melted in a moment, and she sat with her robes wet and dripping. Like a sad, abandoned cat left in the rain.
But instead of feeling pity, Kylo held a hand to his ribs and laughed. Because it was glorious to see a new god of life, of poise and perfection, drop on her ass because she'd been careless chasing after her opposite. Eyes on him, instead of where her feet led her.
Kylo felt a burst of warmth, of light, in his chest that he hadn't since he was young. Before he'd been saddled with the shittiest position of the gods, and decided that it was the only life he would learn and know.
He offered her a hand up, and Rey cautiously took it. The flowers at her head turned to him, the blue nearly blinding in this world of white and cold.
"I still don't like you."
Kylo smiled at that, and watched as red on her face now joined the blue at her head. It was an odd juxtaposition of the two primary colors, but it was fitting, and it made him grasp her hand tightly in his.
.
Rey visited Kylo every now and again, down in the dark of his kingdom. At first Kylo was utterly confused as to just how she was getting down there, and then once he'd caught Poe dropping her off from his carriage before sprinting off, his weird horse giving forlorn whinnies.
It must be nice, he thought fleetingly, to have friends. She hadn't even been around a century and already she was chummy with the two new upstart gods. She was the youngest, and already it seemed she was making the biggest impact.
They didn't talk much. They didn't do much of anything really. She followed him as he went about his days, ordering his troops and at times visiting the new arrivals. The ghosts all gawked at Rey, at her golden apparatus that contrasted horrendously against his mask and black. They went and murmured to her, touched the flowers in her hair- Kylo had a habit now of shooing them away like pests.
She liked most when they went exploring, looking at the vastness that was the underworld. Even Kylo hadn't gone to all the far corners, although he didn't doubt the dead had. There were some areas he purposefully avoided, and Rey understood enough not to bicker too much. It was difficult to see and stomach, even with the knowledge that they had been evil people in their mortal lives.
"You should come visit my home," Rey said one day, as they're out in the gardens of his mansion. They were overgrown and mostly dead, but a few cacti and succulents were too stubborn to die. The pomegranate trees grew massive, untrimmed in their neglect.
"Uncle Luke doesn't like me very much."
"Maybe that's a bit true," Rey said with a light laugh that had the crows looking at her in interest. "But it's more his pride. He understands more now, and is grateful you took over his Father's place so he didn't."
"He's never told me that," Kylo grumbled.
"He hasn't told me either. But it's there all the same, in the way he still considers you his best pupil."
Kylo turned to her, and started when he saw she was already watching him. Her head was tilted, like a brand new life trying to figure out its first night. Somehow she saw something she approved of, as the left corner of her mouth twitched up.
Maybe it was as simple as that for the reason she kept returning: he perked her curiosity. She was trying to figure him out, trying to understand everything in this massive world she'd just recently gained privy to. Kylo almost felt bad for her: he was no where near the most interesting thing to spend unraveling. But he wasn't going to tell her this, because he expected her visits now. It was part of his routine.
"You're such a brat," Kylo snorted as he turned away, trying to make his voice dark and knowing he'd failed miraculously.
.
"I don't get it."
Rey turned to him, eyebrows high on her delicate features. Kylo's fingers twitched at his side, but he was good at self-control. He bit the side of his mouth, controlling himself for a moment before speaking again. It was never a smart move to reveal too much too soon.
"Why you still visit me."
Rey's smile was blinding like the sun of the mortal's realm, not the weak silver disk in the sky that belonged to Kylo's snowy lands. Had he been wrong – that there was another reason entirely for her coming into the dark?
"Why do you question so many things? Why can't you just let them be."
Kylo turned away, huffing and looking up to the tree they'd sat under. Deciding that maybe moving would make him feel better, he went to the trunk. He put a hand out, and made the fruit ripen until deemed ready to fall by the tree. Rey laughed as pomegranates dropped all around them.
He turned, and watched as she picked one up. He went back to her side and took it, taking off his gloves so he wouldn't get sticky red sugar all over them.
"You have a strange kindness to you," Rey said softly.
Kylo turned to her, hands stilling along with the beat of his heart for a long moment. But it passed like all did, and he turned to the fruit in his hands. He tucked a few of the beads in his mouth before offering the fruit to her. Unlike the first (disastrous) time, she accepted.
Their fingers brushed, and Kylo refused to think she'd done it purposefully.
Rey ate a few of them, and carefully collected the seeds into one of the pockets on her belt. When she left, she ran a hand along the side of his face. Like his family used to do, to show they cherished him.
Her fingers were sticky, and they got caught in the roots of his hair as she moved her hand up, but Kylo didn't stop her. And he watched her go until she was out of sight.
.
Something needed to break between them, else Kylo was sure he was going to go insane from uncertainty. He'd never experienced it much in his life: he was to train with Luke, he was to succeed not his Father as the leader of all but his Grandfather, he was to do what needed to be done. He was to always respect his Mother and badmouth is Father, because that's what they looked for in a son.
Kylo didn't do wondering. He was the god of death. It was a pretty final thing.
So Rey, who lived in wonderment and little shocks and surprises, because it was her nature, made him uneasy. She didn't care if that acorn or the one beside it decided to sprout; she didn't care if that rabbit or that rat had offspring this season. She was easy and flowing, like the wind through an old oak's leaves.
At first it had been refreshing to have her around. To have someone who Kylo might one day venture to call a friend, to call someone he cared about. Even if they were opposites of the same coin, they were connected on their boarders in such an intimate way Kylo didn't have with any of the other spirits.
He wanted to shout, to bury her in the ground. Dig her up whenever he needed her, like a dog with a bone too precious to eat all at once. But she needed to be free, wandering the earth as her season changed continents. Kylo needed to stay below, to oversee the consistency of death all over the small globe.
If Kylo would be honest, which he never was even to himself, he would say he was scared. Scared of this slip of a girl who'd manifested out of sand and loneliness. Who had made her own family while Kylo was so stubborn on letting his go.
But even this clawing fear in his throat at her small smiles and glittering hazel eyes did nothing for him. He ran hands through her hair, felt the buzz of the blue energy in her flowers. Felt her warm breath against his palm before she was back off to the surface.
He was scared of her, of losing her- Kylo suddenly realized how it was to be truly and utterly fucked.
So he tried to push her away, focus on work. Try not to let his thoughts of her permeate everything he did. He even pulled at the garden weeds, if only to distract him from searching for her above ground. He cut down one of the pomegranate trees in blind anger. He went and talked to those with wisdom in these departments, and dammit if they had been as vague as unhelpful. He should've known- going to mortals for something effervescent.
But there was a problem in his plan: the girl herself. Rey didn't allow Kylo to slink off to the shadows, refused to let up how she pulled him to her. To the light and good and life when darkness was what he'd strived for nearly all his life.
"When will you leave me alone?" Kylo had snapped one day, when she took him to the pomegranate tree in the garden he'd cut at the trunk. There were already small buds at the base, ready to grow once again to resume the tree's grandeur.
"I didn't do this," Rey said, graceful fingers lifting up one of the small leaves, a dark green but still green unlike the grey leaves of the other older trees.
She looked up at him, gave the gift of a smile, and Kylo knew she wasn't just talking about the tree.
So he bent down, and for once in his life was brave, as he reached for her. Like the few times before, she turned to him like he was a sun and not the ruiner of lives.
Carefully, to give her time to run, to go somewhere beyond this dark cavernous world of him, he leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers.
"You're not as secretive as you believe yourself to be," Rey said gently, lifting a hand to run through his hair. Kylo felt something prickling at her touch, maybe the differing energy between them like when they bickered, before she pulled at his hair and brought him all the more closer to her.
.
Gods didn't casually couple. Unless, Kylo mused, it was Han even after he'd married Leia. There was still too much energy in the old outcast. And maybe Poe, before he'd met Finn.
Kylo hadn't even let the thought cross his mind: that he may have another to pass the time as his other half. He had been content with remaining alone, never knowing the feeling of sharing a bed or waking up when he'd decided to sleep, to see a face beside him.
There were freckles all along Rey's back, and Kylo ran a hand down the dip of her spine. It made her shiver, and turn to him with eyes blinking slowly open.
"Sorry," Kylo mumbled.
"You have cold hands," Rey said, smile smushed in the pillow and voice rough. "Come here."
Kylo remained still, so it was Rey who huffed and scooted closer. Until she grabbed his hands in his, interlacing their fingers together. Kylo immediately felt warmth in his joints; he'd been unaware of how cold he was until he'd reached out to her for the first time.
"We'll need to talk to the others," Kylo said, not wanting to break the peace but knowing it had to be said.
"Oh, Luke already knows. Can't hide much from one's master," Rey said as she snuggled impossibly closer, tucking her head under Kylo's chin. The flowers tickled his head, and he refused the urge to sneeze. It would entirely ruin the moment.
"Then I need to face my parents."
Rey hummed noncommittally, and Kylo grinned since she wouldn't be able to see it. Feeling especially vindictive, he pressed his feet to her shins and was rewarded with a squawk.
"Your feet are freezing!"
.
When Kylo woke again, Rey was gone. It made him feel a pang of loneliness he hadn't felt since first seeing her, but he shook himself and turned to where she'd recently laid beside him. The cover was tucked back in its side thoughtfully, and there was a blue flower at the pillow.
Kylo hesitantly reached out, and brought the flower in his palm. It glowed brighter than before until the energy was spent, and it turned into a normal flower in his hands.
Kylo put it back down on the pillow until his return, and then stood to scrub his face and put his clothes back on. He rubbed his hands together to warm them, now that Rey had alerted him to the cold found there.
Hux of course was waiting with the leash in his mouth, but Kylo shook his head and explained that he had something he absolutely had to get done now. The dog snorted before trotting off, no doubt to find Phasma again. The traitor.
Kylo arrived to the land in the clouds, and was unsurprised to find his parent's arguing over breakfast. But it was instantly broken by their son's presence, who stared before lifting a hand to wave weakly.
"What's that on your head?" Han asked, after nearly choking on his last bite. (Nearly, Kylo thought sadly.)
"Oh, I think they're lovely. A gift from Rey?" Leia asked as she stood and came over, lifting a hand to his head. Kylo bowed a little bit to give her easier access.
Kylo didn't need to ask just what they were talking about, when his mother retracted her hand to show him a bright red flower. Identical to the ones that lined Rey's head.
Kylo stared at the simple five-petaled flower of glowing crimson. The little thing itself ignored him, favoring to turn in Leia's hand. It twisted and curled around her middle finger like a truly living creature and not just pure energy.
Rey had put flowers in his hair, as if to declare him as her own. That no one was to touch the one that the goddess of everything good and peaceful had chosen.
"I'm marrying her, Mother."
Leia turned to him, mouth slack before grinning wide. Han truly did start choking this time.
.
Finn argued he absolutely had to be the flower boy, and so that job was given to him. Luke was to walk Rey down, and Hux would stand beside Kylo's side to wait. Because what's a dog, even a three-headed one that constantly barked at and bit him, if not a god's best friend?
Rey was gorgeous in her cream gown that hung in delicate fabric, the blue of her flowers nearly overpowering to Kylo's eyes. He felt his own head lighten in connection to her, the red glowing bright enough to mix with the blue and create a purple haze around them.
Chewie cried the entire time, no matter how much Leia tried to comfort the mass of fur and feelings. Han was the one to commence the ceremony. They didn't have rings or any other materialistic item to give the other; Rey had already given Kylo flowers and favor. Kylo had already given her everything he had to offer.
Their first dance was slow and sickeningly sweet, and Kylo found himself unwilling to let her go even as the music ended.
"We won't be perfect," Rey said as they continued swaying.
"Have you met my parents?"
Her laughter was light, and it made Kylo stand straighter. Almost smile, but there were strangers and crowds here. He only gave his rare smiles to her.
"Maybe we're in an eternal dance," Rey said as she stepped closer and laid her cheek on his chest. "Never missing a beat, constantly in tandem. Give and pull, take and push."
"I'll keep you forever," Kylo muttered into her hair.
She gave a huff of laughter again at that, before turning back up to meet her eyes with his. She reached up to tangle her fingers in his hair and her flowers.
"You'll have to let me go when it's my season, and I have to help Master Luke."
"Let the mortals wither and die," Kylo offered, hands tightening at her back. "I'm the one who needs you the most."
"I can't forsake my entire world just for you," Rey said with a shake of her head, hands moving down to sit at Kylo's shoulders. "But I'll give as much as I can without either of us losing the other."
"Two sides that meet, but can never truly become one," Kylo commented with a hint of bitterness.
"I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't want us to become fragments of who we once were. We'll adjust, but we won't change into lesser selves in an attempt to placate the other."
Kylo ducked his head down, arching his back to an uncomfortable level, just so he could hide a smile in Rey's neck.
FIN