Archive of Our Own

Hongjoong had always been very aware that being in this line of work would have disadvantages and one of those major drawbacks would be abstaining from romantic relationships. 

Not that he ever cared much about romance or relationships in particular. There had been the occasional hookup, his swift hand during lonely nights in the studio or fulfilling talks with his friends to compensate. In short, Hongjoong thought he knew the downside to realizing his wildest dreams.

And now he is carrying the proof of the contrary in the form of a bag full of promises to the seven people he loves so much, he thinks his heart might burst any second. It is still a mystery to him how so many people managed to fit in there at once. After all, he really didn’t expect for things to pan out the way they eventually did. 

Hongjoong always knew that his understanding of attraction and relationships differed from the norm. Until Park Seonghwa came into his life. No, scratch that, it was probably way earlier, he just hadn’t allowed himself to feel it back then. If he was honest with himself, Jeong Yunho had conquered his heart way before any of them even knew what was happening.

Playing with his car keys while taking the last steps to the apartment complex, Hongjoong laughed to himself, remembering how his first clumsy attempt of the somewhat friends with benefits situation with Yunho had worked out for him (not that well) and his subsequent heartbreak when Mingi had joined the company, making Hongjoong distance himself to not interfere in the obvious spark between Yunho and Mingi.

Back then he had convinced himself that he would be better off alone, after all it served him right for mixing work with his private life and he had spent a long time after that in solitude, hiding away in his room. He was conflicted seeing his friend grow more attached to Mingi every day until they truly seemed inseparable. Hongjoong now knew that he probably felt a little jealous but only because someone got to have Yunho like he used to. And for some reason he wasn’t included.

Hongjoong had only just overcome his little infatuation with Yunho when Seonghwa joined them in the practice room one day, messing with his resolve all over again. When the timid but smiley boy from Jinju introduced himself, Hongjoong knew he was done for. He only saw a glimpse of the radiating beauty in his features and the only thing he could think about was that he wanted to be the person making him smile every day. 

Only for him to have a crisis about this exact moment later that day because he didn’t want to test his luck yet again. They all laughed about this now but back then Hongjoong was terrified.

He vividly remembered fleeing the room on multiple occasions because he didn’t want to be tempted and have his heart be broken regardless or breaking Seonghwa’s heart for that matter. If the thing with Yunho had taught him anything then it was that pure attraction and curiosity didn’t justify hooking up with anyone, especially not your future group mates. Their debut was still up in the air and Hongjoong would have rather bitten off his own hand than jeopardize his or any of the other’s chances of making their first steps in the industry.

So he stayed away from Seonghwa and tried to focus on more important things. Like becoming an idol. His stupid urges were doing their utmost to distract him from his goals. It wasn’t worth it. 

And then Yunho revealed to him that Mingi didn’t actually care whether Yunho hooked up with anyone else, easing Hongjoong’s conscious for a bit as he happily sought refuge in the younger one, still trying to forget about Seonghwa. Messing around with one of his members would be enough to cure the longing he felt. Right?

For a while it was but that it didn’t stay that way for long. San idolized him the moment they had met and it was hard not to mistake it for advances. Hongjoong remembers feeling horrible about it after they had slept with each other for the first time but later San reassured him that he just didn’t know how else to flirt with him. 

Now that he is entering the building and heading straight for the elevators, Hongjoong fondly remembers their desperate, unknown days before their debut. More people joined them, Yeosang, Jongho and their evenings were filled with laughter and hopeful talks of the future. And throughout it all, Hongjoong was slowly but surely losing the battle against his resolve not to start complicated relationships with the people he was supposed to debut with. 

But it just felt so right. Exchanging flirtatious looks with Yunho during lunch break and pulling San into the shower with him later the same day. Especially since neither of them seemed to mind. Hongjoong seemed to have found the perfect balance. 

Until Wooyoung joined. 

The sparks that erupted between San and Wooyoung felt like an earthquake disrupting everything until nothing was the way it had been before. Suddenly Hongjoong was catapulted back to the time when Mingi had joined. He hated it and he hated the jealousy that came alongside the new development, which didn’t even feel like the jealousy he was familiar with. It was closer to emptiness… loneliness. 

Of course none of them had been prepared for the whirlwind that was Jung Wooyoung. Least of all Hongjoong. As he watches the number go up on the elevator, he tries to keep his rapid heartbeat under control while he’s recalling their first kiss. They were literally fighting. About his reckless behavior when it came to dating San, his shameless flirting with Yunho and about how annoying he was… until Wooyoung said that one thing that robbed him of all his thunder.

Admit it, you just want to kiss me. 

Oh, how right he had been. You can say a lot about Wooyoung’s brashness but he always points out the truth. And it was exactly this kind of boldness that made him lose his cool. As it turned out, San also didn’t mind sharing in the slightest (or being shared for that matter).

By the time they went to America, Hongjoong had made a pact with himself. He’d enjoy what he’d get from the two couples and wouldn’t be greedy for more, after all he was about to be an idol. He liked that there was love all around him that he was able to partake in when he felt like it. Until then, this casual situation was already beyond what he had ever imagined for himself.

And then Mingi joined him and Yunho on a random day after debut and everything seemed to fall into place from there. Sweet innocent Mingi who really just wanted to be loved and taken care of was easy to fall for and so Hongjoong gladly obliged, kissing his tired eyes when they returned late from practice, letting him sleep sandwiched in between him and Yunho after ordering San to sleep in his and Seonghwa’s room for the night. 

There were times where Hongjoong wondered whether Seonghwa knew what Hongjoong was up to and he felt bad for not telling him about any of it. They had grown a little closer as friends, finding common interests and spending time together, like regular friends would. 

Hongjoong can’t help but laugh into the emptiness of the elevator at the thought. He had been so desperate for Seongwha’s attention back then while trying to avoid him at the same time. He was so convinced that it wouldn’t be fair to Seonghwa to lead him on when he deserved so much better than a messy situationship that came with the occasional hook up. 

Because as much as he noticed Seonghwa’s eyes on him from time to time, practically devouring him with his look, Hongjoong was still not sure how the other felt about him sleeping with half of the group at this point. 

When they finally kissed, way into their first year as idols, Hongjoong could practically feel the relief rushing through the whole group. And as it turned out Seonghwa was already involved in whatever romantic shenanigans were going on in the group. Him and San had been hooking up for quite a while as well, which had completely passed him by. Of course it did. He had been so busy with his own problems that he didn’t notice the inconspicuous absences of Wooyoung, San and Seonghwa on a regular basis.

Thinking of the beginning of his relationship with Seonghwa, Hongjoong walks down the hallway and fondly recalls how eye opening and surprising their talks became after sleeping with each other for the first time. Seonghwa’s view on romantic relationships was closer to his own than he had expected, it was just that he didn’t particularly like to act on it as quickly as Hongjoong did. 

Standing still in front of the big metal door to Seonghwa, San and Mingi’s dorm now, Hongjoong took a deep breath. They had all agreed to meet in the middle dorm, as they called it, before their departure to the US. It wasn’t rare for them to pick one apartment to spend time together before or after schedules just to unwind and enjoy each other’s presence for a bit.

They are probably all inside already, Hongjoong thought. All of the pieces of his heart, so uniquely them that he can’t grasp or describe the different types of love he feels for each of them. His phone vibrates in his pocket and he knows it’s probably one of them in the group chat asking where he is but he can’t bring himself to move, enjoying the peaceful quiet for a moment longer. 

It feels like the calm before the storm. Soon they will go to the airport, go to America, Perform at Coachella.

Moving from his spot eventually to take out his phone just to confirm that it isn’t actually a manager’s message sending him a last minute request, Hongjoong feels warmth rushing to his cheeks when he sees Yeosang’s name on his phone that the younger one had personally changed to <3!Yeosangie!<3 pop up on his lock screen. 

I bet he forgot the rings in the car and had to go back.

A chuckle escapes him as he opens his phone and reads up on the group chat. There are wild theories made as to why he is late and Yeosang’s statement is followed by laughing emojis. Hongjoong just rolls his eyes playfully. Menaces, all of them.

Yeosang kind of slipped into their dynamic approaching him and Seonghwa one night asking for advice on Wooyoung. He was sick and tired of being seen as his best friend. He wanted more, he wanted everything they had with him and Hongjoong remembers being surprised how nonchalant Yeosang had been about knowing that they were all involved with each other. 

He didn’t care about being excluded for so long, being less interested in casually having sex with the others and caring more about the commitment they had to each other. But with Wooyoung it was different. He wanted to shoot his shot but he didn’t know how to. Which was why he was now seeking help from his older and more experienced members.

Seonghwa’s never ending patience when it came to giving him advice and listening to his concerns still manages to amaze Hongjoong to this day. Everything that happened between all of them was so fragile, unspoken and yet so intense that he barely dared to think too deeply about it. The way Seonghwa approached the situation with so much compassion eventually made him realize that he needed to sit them down at one point, he just didn’t know how. 

Staring at the phone in his hands, Hongjoong remembers how he was actually agonizing about it for weeks, only for Jongho to beat him to it in the end when he confessed to them in the practice room one night that his feelings for all them had slowly changed and he didn’t know how to navigate them on his own anymore. 

Hongjoong also remembers the talks he had with Jongho prior to their debut about him not really feeling attraction and not caring about sex in the slightest. As long as they’d do it outside of his room, he’d be fine with whatever. He had always been grateful to their youngest for being so accepting. He hadn’t expected Jongho’s feelings to change, but he too pointed out their deep connection they all had, be it with sex or without. 

They ended up sharing all of their hopes and worries to each other that night, how Seonghwa wasn’t sure if he could be enough for everyone or Yeosang finally speaking up about his desires, hoping to deepen his bond with some of them. Or Jongho-

The door suddenly opens widely, shedding light on Seonghwa staring at him wide eyed, mumbling:

“Finally.”

Hongjoong lets out a breath of surprise, still dazed from being lost in his memories but Seonghwa just steps forward to catch his lips in a passionate kiss that makes giddiness rise inside of him. Sometimes the impulsive way Seonghwa shows his love completely overwhelms him, so much so that he can't form any coherent thought anymore. Only that he is so unimaginably in love with Seonghwa, it’s unbelievable.

“The rings!”, Wooyoung shouts from the couch and Hongjoong pulls back to say something about them only caring about materialistic things and not about the promise that they stand for but a moment later the bag in his hand is torn away by impatient hands. 

Meanwhile Seonghwa is on his way to the table in the large kitchen, already getting flocked by Wooyoung, Yunho and Yeosang. Hongjoong just shakes his head, his sentimental feelings seemingly not reciprocated at all as he makes his way to the couch instead where Jongho is playing a game on his phone, not giving the impression that he is all that interested in what is happening around him but Hongjoong knows the youngest too well. 

Gently announcing his presence by stroking his head and kissing his temple, Hongjoong chuckles fondly when he sees the flash of a smile in response.

Although quiet in their admittedly somewhat wild daily life as boyfriends, Jongho still values his time alone even if his love for all of them seems to grow with each day that passes.  Hongjoong, who appreciates his personal space just as much, understands him all too well in that matter, despite being on opposing sides when it comes to his sexual urges. 

While Jongho only slept with Wooyoung for the first time a few months ago, Hongjoong can’t possibly imagine his life without getting physical to express his love. But somehow they are all making it work no matter how much their respective libido differed.  

“Can you give me my ring, hyung?”, Jongho asks into his phone, a light blush appearing high on his cheeks.

Hongjoong checks the table where he spots Mingi joining the others, grabbing the bag with the rings to look for the one with his own name engraved on the inside of the band. He sees Seonghwa staring at the ring in awe as Yeosang gently slips it on him, whispering loving phrases to him. 

Wooyoung next to them is hugging Yunho in the meantime, practically climbing him giggling in his signiture shrill pitch. Hongjoong can’t take his eyes off of the display of pure happiness. His heart is so full with all the love he feels for them and found himself thinking back to the moment they all decided to take this step.

It had only been a few weeks ago when it had slipped his mouth at a random dinner after practice. Something about marrying every single one of them in a heartbeat if that was  possible. The significant silence afterwards was all they needed to confirm that all of them considered the potential marriage then and there. And even if a ceremony wasn’t impossible with their busy schedules, somehow they would find a way. As they always did.

After many more tearful proclamations of their love for each other and even more ideas on how to seal their promise, Hongjoong finally mustered up some courage to suggest rings as a token, announcing them to their company and fans as ‘team rings’.

Then again, It’s not like they are keeping their relationship a big secret from their management. They are giving them a lot of leeway in many ways when it comes to their private lives, but Hongjoong knows they wouldn’t understand or even support the kind of relationship they have. Not necessarily because it was queer, they already knew about Wooyoung and San being a couple since these two can’t keep their hands to themselves when they're near each other,  it was more about distraction and priorities. Words he has heard all too often during meetings.

So they keep a low profile when it comes to the polyamerous nature of their bond around their managers and staff. Some of them probably knew anyway that there were more couples hiding amongst them aside from Wooyoung and San. They loved them as a pair as long as they kept it lowkey for appearance reasons, which works fine. Mostly. Hongjoong really tries not to think of the emergency meetings he had to attend because Wooyoung and San had once again caused their PR manager to fear for her job.

Hearing Wooyoung’s wild cackling again, Hongjoong thinks of the wild unrestrained emotions his boyfriend loves with. He could never hold it against him. San wouldn’t either, who is completely powerless to it and much less able to hide it, which only makes Wooyoung tease and dote on him more. These two are completely unable to hide their infatuation for each other. 

Speaking of, where is San anyway? 

Getting up to join the others at the table, Hongjoong asks to everyone present:

“Where is San-ah?”

Yunho turns around while Wooyoung is still clinging to him. His smile is contagious when he says:

“He is doing a live but he will be done for the team meeting, he said.”

Hongjoong smiles lightheartedly in response. Of course he would say that. No one takes their team meetings as seriously as San. They had started out as regular get togethers of all the members where they would talk about work related topics, things they wanted to improve on or their latest variety show dynamics. 

But ever since they had all become more involved with each other these meetings served as a kind of check in on their relationship as well. They would ask whether someone was  feeling neglected or whether someone wanted to spend more time with another person. Were there issues to be resolved between any of them? He is fully convinced these team meetings are the reason why they are still harmoniously together and better than ever. 

Kissing Yunho’s cheek while brushing his waist with his hand, Hongjoong thanks his boyfriend and then turns to Wooyoung to lightly bite his shoulder, making the other yelp and trying to grab him with his hand but Hongjoong just dodges to get out of his reach. 

He promised Jongho a ring after all. The bag is still neatly placed on the table, just a bit emptier now. Mingi looks up from his own hand when he puts his hand in the bag to get the remaining rings out. 

“Thank you for the ring, it’s really pretty, hyung”, Mingi whispers, clearly choked up by emotions and Hongjoong can’t help but cut the corners of the table to wrap his arms around his giant boyfriend. 

He loves Mingi and his emotions too, Hongjoong thinks as he hugs him tightly. They are less eruptive as Wooyoung’s but just as intense. He is more sensitive, more fragile at times but he also bursts with affection and love, Hongjoong couldn’t help but fall for him and make it a goal to always ensure his well-being and happiness. 

“Of course, my sweet Mingki-yah.”, Hongjoong whispers into his neck, slowly caressing the fine hairs on his nape, making him shudder in return.

His favorite nickname for the taller one slips past his lips casually but it comes easy to him, just like everything else when it comes to Mingi. Taking his hand and bringing it up to his mouth to kiss his knuckle, where the ring fits perfectly on his beautifully long fingers, Hongjoong takes his time to look up at him with as much intent as he can, letting Mingi know his heart with actions rather than words. 

There is a light blush covering Mingi’s cheeks as he averts his eyes and chuckles bashfully. Hongjoong just grins before reluctantly letting go of him to grab a certain box from the table. 

Jongho is still on the couch but now he is watching all of them fondly with a pensive look in his eyes. Hongjoong can’t help but tease him a bit as he pretends to get on one knee and hold out the box for him. Rolling his eyes just as playfully, Jongho reaches for the ring but stops himself when he is about to open it.

“I want to put it on myself.”, he murmurs, almost shy and Hongjoong is so in love with Jongho right now, he feels like bursting with emotions any second.

There is so much to love about Jongho, from his gentle, steady nature and unwavering loyalty, to these little moments of genuine cuteness which Hongjoong adores so much about him. Nodding slightly, he watches the youngest cautiously open the box to take the ring in hand, blinking at it for a few seconds before placing the empty container next to him and slipping the ring on his own finger.

It feels intimate, almost revelatory to see Jongho like this and Hongjoong has never been so sure about committing himself to him. To them. 

Hongjoong wants to belong to them because of moments like these, when they are happy. He doesn’t think they’re all aware of this fact but he has always been theirs. He feels himself tear up when Jongho raises his head again, splaying his fingers to get a good look at the band and to send him a sudden beaming, gummy smile that takes Hongjoong’s breath away. 

"It's perfect.”, he says, almost bashfully and Hongjoong can’t help but dash forward to place a tender kiss on his lips. 

Jongho softens against him as his hand comes up to his neck where Hongjoong feels the coldness of the ring on Jongho’s finger and he could swear the feeling imprints itself into his core memories.

There is no feeling in the world that could compare to Jongho’s kiss, feathery light, almost shy but demanding nonetheless and Hongjoong can’t get enough. With a sigh, Jongho pulls back to look at him before letting his head drop onto Hongjoong’s shoulder, making both of them chuckle. 

Right after kissing his temple, Hongjoong softly turns his head when someone touches his shoulder. it’s Yunho, holding another box in his hand and he immediately knows it’s his own ring. There is a question in Yunho’s loving gaze, asking for permission to continue but Hongjoong’s mind gently reminds him of one task that he hasn’t completed yet, one person. San.

He feels bad for interrupting Yunho, whose eyes have that look now in which Hongjoong could get lost in. It’s hard to resist him already but that look makes it ten times harder. Pulling out of Jongho’s embrace, Hongjoong places a hand on the box before smiling at him, feeling both of his boyfriends eyes on him when he whispers:

“I have to give it to San-ah first.”

It isn’t like he feels forced to give the ring to everyone first before putting it on himself but he just knows it wouldn’t feel right otherwise. So he whispers another apology and promises to be back right away, already about to get up, momentarily stopped by Yunho who pulls him back down to give him a peck on the lips. 

Hongjoong smiles like a lovestruck idiot when he is finally on his legs, heading for the table to grab the remaining box. Yeosang and Seonghwa are still standing by the table, their heads stuck together as they admire their rings and Hongjoong can’t help but quickly kiss Seonghwa’s cheek first and then Yeosang’s, just because. He’s in love and quite literally proposing, no-one can fault him for that.

Leaving both of them before they can return his affection, Hongjoong is already on his way to San’s room where he can hear him talking to their fans, his casual conversational tone making butterflies flutter through his whole body. Once again, Hongjoong admires San’s dedication to their fans, keeping it as authentic as possible with them, as he always shares his gentle and kind manner with every fan interaction he has. 

But he also knows how much San doesn’t like lying, especially to them. Keeping their relationship a secret from them, not being able to talk about his members the way he would maybe want to, is hard for him. Hongjoong is all too aware of that fact. But he also knows that nobody is ready for the truth, not yet at least. 

A few steps shy of the door, Hongjoong suddenly remembers that he has dyed his hair pastel pink only this morning and none of the fans know about that either. Slightly shaking his head, Hongjoong knocks on the door, hearing a muffled I’m doing a live from the inside. He knocks again and only when he hears another come in he opens the door as carefully as possible to place the ring on the floor trying not to show his hair as he tries to stay out of frame and out of the lens of the camera. He knows it probably didn’t work but he couldn’t care less right now, seeing San turning in his chair and smiling at him brightly when they lock eyes.

“Oh, give it to me, I’m doing a live. I already talked about it earlier.”, San says excitedly as his mischievous smile spreads across his whole face. 

Hongjoong has never seen a more beautiful smile in his life. Maybe Jongho’s but he knows San would agree in a heartbeat. He simply wants to see San being happy for the rest of his life, no he needs him to be. 

San’s still quite immersed in his put-on persona and doesn’t seem to notice Hongjoong’s lingering look on him when he slides the small bag with the box across the floor before he hides behind the door again.

“Should I reveal it already?”

San’s question hangs in the air for a second until Hongjoong catches on that the question was meant for him, so he quickly answers:

“Yeah, sure… wait, no let’s do it at the airport.”

Eagerly nodding, San turns around again in his chair, continuously talking to his fans. Hongjoong tries to close the door again but Seonghwa is right behind him when he turns around, their bodies suddenly pressing against each other. Seonghwa is definitely pushing him against the door on purpose, Hongjoong notes impishly. They share a look and he comes to the conclusion that he definitely wants to press Seonghwa against a hard surface later today too.

“Thank you.”, Seonghwa breathes and looks at him with determined, ardent eyes. His smile is full of mischief when he presses against him more, fully aware that they are only separated by a thin layer of wood while thousands of fans are watching their other boyfriend talk. 

Hongjoong loves this side of Seonghwa too. Confident and proud, showing him just how much he loves him. San says something else and Seonghwa’s gaze travels past Hongjoong to the door. 

“Hongjoong gave it to me already.”, Seonghwa casually replies, while Hongjoong brings his hand up to his cheek, his gaze still stuck on the beauty that is Park Seonghwa. He is usually not one to take any risks when it comes to flaunting their relationship, playing it safe around cameras but there are times where Seonghwa is so excited he can’t hide it and Hongjoong would be lying if he didn’t feel exactly the same. 

He knows both of them are a good team when it comes to their other boyfriends. The fact that they are the eldest doesn't actually matter to anyone but it just so happened that all the others rely on them when it comes to important questions about the management of their relationship. Whether it is about bringing them together or organizing their sleep arrangements for the night, Hongjoong can count on Seonghwa.

Something about this makes him emotional again. It’s truly like him finally gathering the courage to kiss Seonghwa in that hotel room in Portugal that managed to bring all of them closer and turned their messy hook up situation into the solid relationship they have now. 

Seonghwa smiles at him again when San says something else Hongjoong doesn’t understand but he resorts to sending him off with a light stroke of his hands across his neck, signaling him to go check for himself, while he points to his own hair. Seonghwa immediately understands and slips through the door, probably way too excited to show San his ring.

Most of the others have gotten comfortable on the couch in the meantime, Wooyoung and Yeosang cuddling and comparing rings, while Mingi is lying on Yunho’s thighs with his body halfway on top of Wooyoung, barely able to keep himself from laughing while he is telling him something with a hushed voice. Jongho is leaning on Yunho’s other side, still admiring the ring on his finger.

When Hongjoong is getting closer to the couch, Mingi hurriedly sits up, pointing to San’s door, clearly having intentions to disrupt the live. Hongjoong just shakes his head. It will be considered a miracle to keep them all in one place one day.  

Yeosang is the first one to reach out to him. He doesn’t make eye contact but Hongjoong is used to this by now. He learned to see the different types of Yeosang expressing his need for affection. There is so much to be said about him, Hongjoong couldn’t possibly put it into a few sentences. There are multitudes to his character depending on who he’s with. 

He can be playful with Wooyoung, sweet and cute with Yunho and cheeky with Hongjoong himself. Not a day goes by where he doesn’t see a new side of him and he couldn’t be happier about this. There is absolutely no resistance in Hongjoong’s body when he lets himself be dragged and is practically thrown onto the couch with Wooyoung squeaking when Hongjoong partly lands on top of him.

“...Y-you’re…crushing me, hyung!”, Wooyoung complains playfully and Hongjoong leans back a bit more, making him groan before Hongjoong eases up on him to slip in between Yunho and him like a missing puzzle piece. 

Just then Yeosang seizes the opportunity to lie on all of their legs, comfortably winding himself on their laps like a little puppy. His head fits perfectly in Hongjoong’s lap and so he gets his hands into his hair right away just because he knows how much the younger one likes it.

Groaning into his torso, Yeosang obviously enjoys the head scratches he is given and Hongjoong leans to the side and rests his head on Yunho’s shoulder as he listens to the distant chatter coming from San’s room, feeling Wooyoung nestling into his other side, breathing out in contentment.

They all needed this after all the busy preparation schedules for Coachella and pre-recording content. Hongjoong realizes it’s probably their first full night off in several weeks and he hasn’t even been staying at the studio that often this month.

As soon as Mingi is back, he playfully scoffs at them, discovering his place next to Yunho is gone. So he opts to join Jongho on the other side, making the maknae squeak when he is squeezing himself into the space between the armrest and Jongho.

They technically all fit onto the large corner sofa but Wooyoung on the other side spreads his legs just enough for the others to struggle with space, not that any of them would mind. Not even Hongjoong. Not today.

Hongjoong continues to lightly scratch Yeosang’s scalp, drawing content little sighs out of him while he definitely enjoys his place on top of him and Wooyoung, who now starts to knead his thighs too. Yeosang’s breath hitches when Wooyoung’s hand travels to his ass, making him giggle in return. But there is also that glint in his eyes that usually means that he isn’t just teasing his long-term friend turned boyfriend..

Hongjoong looks at Yeosang to gauge his reaction. There is nothing but genuine joy on his face. There were some moments in the past where Hongjoong hadn’t been sure whether he was really on board when other members tried to initiate intimacy but over the years Yeosang has become better at communicating what he needed and when he wanted it so Hongjoong really didn’t need to worry. He trusts Yeosang enough to speak up. 

Same with Jongho, who slowly and steadily became more and more involved, even if he ended up just watching them. Remembering the few times Hongjoong had the privilege to see Jongho enjoying himself with them is something he doesn’t ever want to forget. 

Another hand joins his on Yeosang’s scalp. It’s Yunho, as Hongjoong belatedly realizes and he quickly intertwines their fingers, feeling the ring on his finger. It’s prettier than he could have ever imagined on Yunho’s beautiful hands. 

“Hyung…”, Yunho starts and Hongjoong suddenly remembers that he hasn’t put it on yet. 

The box is probably still on the table somewhere behind them. But suddenly, Yunho is conjuring it out of nowhere, revealing the same ring that is meant for him. He feels Wooyoung next to him shifting, shuffling closer to catch a glimpse of what's happening.

Hongjoong’s breath slows down, feeling like everything is going silent around them as he looks at the ring in the velvety cushion. The promise. Embedded in velvet and held up by hands that have loved him ever since he only started finding out what love really meant. 

“Come on… put it on.”, Yunho whispers and smiles at him sheepishly. Hongjong can hardly look away from him in favor of the ring when he remembers something.

He takes the box to place it onto the living room table, taking a deep breath before saying:

“I want  do it with everyone present. Team meeting soon.”

For some reason he is choked up again, unable to form full sentences. The others seem to be in agreement and Yeosang’s hand comes up to his jaw to gently reassure him. His eyes clearly showed his devotion which is why he doesn’t need to say anything more. Their love speaks volumes. He gently lowers his head to be able to kiss Yeosang the way he means to, the way it counts.

Yeosang sighs into his mouth like he has been waiting for this moment to happen and Hongjoong makes a mental note to remind him to ask for kisses if he feels like it. On nights like these, during the calm before the storm  and on the brink of a career-defining trip, Hongjoong can’t help but get sentimental and worried for no reason. 

He’s usually fully aware that he has to coax some of his boyfriends out of their shell a little more, like Yeosang and Mingi. Years of being with them has taught him not only to pay attention to the small details of their love but also get attuned to their needs. And that meant lots of communication. Whether at their team meetings for everyone to hear, in the dark of night in bed, holding each other tightly or even just in waiting rooms before their next schedule. Talking about their feelings and what they wanted from the other has saved them more than once from a big argument. 

Hongjoong feels Wooyoung’s hand at his neck when he is suddenly pulled away from Yeosang to get kissed by Wooyoung. Hongjoong chuckles into his mouth. His ever so demanding Wooyoung. The kiss deepens instantly, drawing Hongjoong in like a moth to a flame. He’s almost irresistible when it comes to kissing. 

Hongjoong never has to ask him to share his feelings with all of them, the second youngest one being the most unabashed of them all. But he is convinced that they wouldn’t communicate at all or very badly if it wasn’t for Wooyoung, who unapologetically spoke his mind the first time they had a team meeting, loudly announcing who he’d like to have sex with and went on to skillfully decipher all of their previous connections.

He feels Yeosang changing positions and lifting his head off of his lap only to be the one breaking him apart from Wooyoung and claiming him for himself. Wooyoung’s happy squeak makes Hongjoong let out a surprised exhale, too stunned to react.Yeosang is now straddling Wooyoung and pinning him against the couch, presumably doing exactly what Wooyoung wanted all along.

Seonghwa’s playful scoff walking towards the couch finally manages to divert his attention.

“Guys, at least keep it in your pants long enough until the team meeting is over, alright?”

His tone is teasing, lighthearted and Hongjoong can’t help but answer the smile across the other’s face with one of his own, feeling giddiness rise up in him at the casual intimacy of it all. He can’t recall how often they had this exact same conversation, none of them ever able to keep their hands off of one another. They don’t seem to listen to Seonghwa, clearly occupied with each other. 

Seongwha is still standing as he glances at the box which was placed in the middle of the living room table. He exchanges another look with Hongjoong, silently asking the same question Yunho did. But he just accepts the reassuring look Hongjoong gives him and takes a seat on the armchair opposite of the couch.

A phone next to Hongjoong’s thigh vibrates and Yunho is quick to pick it up and read the text appearing on the screen. 

“San-ah is done in about 10 minutes, he says.”, Yunho murmures, his head seemingly somewhere else.

Ignoring the two menaces making out next to him, Hongjoong turns away from them to face Yunho. His dreamy expression makes his heart skip a beat as he gently places a kiss on his lips. Yunho has always been his anchor, his pillar in the stormy sea that was the unpredictable industry and he wouldn’t have been able to achieve anything, be it as an idol or personally.  

“I love you.”, Yunho whispers close to Hongjoong’s face and he hears the sincerity in his voice that instantly manages to make him tear up as well. There is nothing he wouldn’t do for Yunho, his first, his beginning, his reason to believe in love, despite thinking he’d never need it in his life. 

“I love you too.”, he replies sheepishly and picks up Yunho’s hand to kiss the ring on it, pouring as much love in the gesture as he could. 

He really hopes San will be done with his livestream soon, since there are words forming in his head that need to be said or else he would burst into a thousand pieces. Usually when his mind is filled with so much love, he writes a song and he still thinks he will as soon as they board the plane but now that they’re already all gathered here, he might as well tell them directly. 

Yunho lifts his head to look at Wooyoung and Yeosang behind Hongjoong, his pretty features turning into a concerned scowl when he says:

“Hey, hey! No hickeys. We won’t have time to cover that up now.”

Mingi lets out a giggle, both him and Jongho watching the display while they’re cuddling against the armrest. Hongjoong just looks back for a second and spots Wooyoung smiling against Yeosang’s neck but detaching himself slowly anyway, giving view to a slightly darker spot on his skin. 

He just lets out a tired sigh and closes his eyes for a second before looking over to Seonghwa, who is covering his face behind his pretty hands, clearly hiding his pained expression while he’s laughing. After a few seconds the older one is getting up in the direction of his room, presumably to get the concealer he has already put in his suitcase. 

They’re all packed and ready to leave, Hongjoong notes. At least that’s what they all confirmed to him earlier in the group chat. Taking a deep breath Hongjoong tries to let go of the tension that’s building inside of him. He knows he tends to get really stressed before trips which is why he usually distracts himself by staying in the studio or holed up in his room until the last second just so he won’t try to make sure that everyone else packs their things. The urge to micromanage while being stressed and anxious never mixes well. 

He knows he can get quite controlling, especially when time is working against them, but he also knows his boyfriends know how to handle him in these situations. And he can confidently say he’s come a long way with the help of everyone. Be it Yunho’s gentle reminders not to interfere with Mingi’s packing habits or Jongho’s strict looks whenever he as much as opens his mouth to say something regarding a suitcase lying open in the middle of the living room. 

Their relationship managed to withstand a lot of challenges over the years, starting from the beginning with Mingi’s mental health concerns, when it had become impossible for him to leave his room and none of his boyfriends seemed to be able to comfort him enough. It had hit them hard at the time without him in the dorm and Hongjoong only remembers sleeping in their crowded living room with some of the others when he wasn’t staying in his studio overnight anyway.

Granted it was also some of the most stressful times they ever had in their career since they were participating in ‘Kingdom’ whilst also promoting on music shows and they were all running on empty by the end of it all. 

Only when Mingi returned after spending some much needed time at home, Hongjoong felt somewhat comfortable in the dorm again. And despite him not yet taking part in their daily activities yet, it was still nice to know that he was waiting for them at the end of the day, no matter how late it got. 

Hongjoong truly thinks what Mingi has gone through shaped them all. Shaken up by how bad it had actually gotten with him, they are much more attuned to each other's needs now with all of them sensing when someone is feeling left out, unwanted or being too overwhelmed by their increasingly busy schedule. 

Looking up as Seonghwa comes back with the concealer in hand, Hongjoong can’t help but think of the way the older one never shies away from starting a conversation when it’s necessary but also isn’t too proud to admit his own fault in order to reconcile with whoever he had upset. As someone who is known for his impulsivity and impatience, Hongjoong would have lost some of these battles long ago if it wasn’t for him.

Thinking of how Seonghwa only recently delved into his own journey regarding his gender and especially his gender expression, Hongjoong can’t help but be grateful to all of his boyfriends for providing him with a safety net full of love, compassion and support. Seonghwa had told him long ago that he had always loved his more feminine side, but struggled to show it to the outside with the expectations of being a classically masculine idol in an industry that only celebrates stereotypical binaries. 

Gradually, as all of their relationships grew and developed into the deep connection they have now, Seonghwa  is now very comfortably wearing whatever he wants around them, from makeup and skirts or even lingerie on other, more special occasions. They all love and support everything as long as Seonghwa is happy. But they also know that he has days on which he’s drawn to leather jackets and slicked back hair and there are other times where everything he wears has a feminine twist to it and they all love that too.

But above all Hongjoong just loves seeing Seonghwa being more confident showing his true self to the world, be it make-up related or sporting ambiguous fashion items. Nothing will ever beat the sparkle in his eyes when he gets complimented on the new blouse Yunho and Mingi have bought him from YSL or the expensive beauty products Hongjoong recently gifted him, just because.

All of them have grown into the people they love. And Hongjoong couldn’t be happier about it.

Now, Seonghwa lightly grabs Yeosang’s shoulder to get him to move, concealer already in hand. Wooyoung just smiles up at Seonghwa provocatively, fully aware of what he has done and is waiting for a reaction. 

But Seonghwa only shushes him and flicks his forehead lightly before focusing on Yeosang, who obediently bares his neck to get the love bites covered up. The angle is apparently not satisfying enough since Seonghwa sits down next to them and gestures for Yeosang to straddle him instead. 

Wooyoung just scoffs and pretends to be sulking, which makes Yeosang send him an electrifying smile before he continues to hold still for Seonghwa to do his work. He is clearly enjoying himself despite Seongwha’s lack of reaction whatsoever. Hongjoong could swear he is currently seeing Yeosang beating Wooyoung in a game of ‘I’ll rile you up until you jump me’. A game that Woooyung has practically invented.

Hongoong would be impressed (and maybe even join in) if it wasn’t about an hour before they have to leave and look presentable. Yunho’s giggle next to him makes Hongjoong aware of the calming presence of his tall boyfriend behind him and he slowly lets himself fall backwards to lean against him. Yunho readily awaits him and covers Hongjoong’s torso with his arm, gently embracing him.

Breathing out and enjoying Yunho’s soothing heartbeat behind him, Hongjoong is able to calm his racing thoughts once more. Everything will go well and they’ll get to the US in one piece. In the hotel they will definitely be able to relax for a few days before the schedules will pick back up again. He’s aware that they barely had time to focus on each other in the last few days, which is probably why the sexual tension between all of them is so high at the moment. 

If he’s honest with himself he would love to watch Wooyoung and Yeosang resolve that tension between each other and Seonghwa probably too, guessing from the increasing furrow in his eyebrow.

Just then a door clicks shut and San steps out. His demeanor is calm and collected but Hongjoong can immediately tell there is a nervous tension in his shoulders. San has been working hard on his body the last few weeks, barely able to sit down and eat with them, even during their rehearsal breaks. And despite everyone loving the defined muscles on their boyfriend, Hongjoong doesn’t think they want to force San to continue the strict weight and workout regime he is on right now.

Also this team meeting is important to him, maybe even more important than any other meeting they ever had and Hongjoong understands. No one takes their relationship as seriously as San. His gentle and loving character aside, he was the one taking things to another level when they had the first few conversations about comittinng to one another. His words still linger in the back of Hongjoong’s head.

If you’re not going to be serious about it, I don’t want any of it at all. 

He had said that to all of them sitting in their crowded dorm living room, all wide-eyed and nervous. Hongjoong had been the first one to agree and finally take responsibility. He had never dared to even dream of a day where he could be with them all without having to decide and it was time to step up.

So he had made a set of rules and made them all sit down together weekly to talk about how they felt and what they wanted from one another. It wasn’t always easy but over time the meetings had become more lighthearted, now they were freely sharing their opinions and wishes. Even San, who is usually always concerned about not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings when he spends the third night in a row with Yeosang alone in his room for example. 

Hongjoong knows San is a sensitive soul and fears rejection just as much as confrontation, which might be a reason why the team meetings are such a big deal to him. Surprised by his own thoughts, Hongjoong tries to process his realization when he watches San walk up to Wooyoung, raising an eyebrow at him as if to say what have you gotten up to now?

Giggling like a maniac, Wooyoung waves at San cutely, trying to get him to sit down next to him but San knows him way too well already. He knows himself how weak he is to Wooyoung’s advances and the playfulness in his eyes is a clear sign that things won’t stay as controlled as they are now. So he turns on his heel and sits down on the armchair, even if he is unable to hide his dimpled smile.

Driven by the urge to be close to San all of a sudden, Hongjoong peels himself out of Yunho’s embrace to walk over to him and crouch down. Looking up at him lovingly, Hongjoong takes the younger one’s hand and kisses the ring on his middle finger. San’s eyes meet his own and there is a split second of concern in his eyes before he smiles shyly as he looks at his other hand in his lap.

“Do you like it?”, he whispers, trying to sound casual but being unable to hide the unsureness that plagues him, his voice shaking ever so softly because of it.

He knows he has a weak spot for San. His determined love, his romantic streak, his all or nothing attitude. All of these facets made San the beautiful person that he is, tender loving and wonderful San, who means so much to all of them.

“You look gorgeous wearing the ring. It suits you, being our boyfriend.”, Hongjoong goes on to say.

Seeing his shoulders relax the tiniest bit, Hongjoong knows he did it. He eased some of the worries in his head, making him feel comfortable and reassured. Sometimes San gets way into his head and starts doubting even the most unwavering facts, like all of the love his boyfriends have for him. 

Reassuring and easing that anxiety in San is one of Hongjoong’s favorite things to do. Today isn’t any different. Smiling so brightly he feels his cheeks hurt, Hongjoong looks up at him in awe when San’s face starts taking on a faint rosy tinge.

There is a loud shuffling behind him and he lets go of San’s hand but only after he squeezes his hand tightly for a second before turning around, leaning back against the feet of the armchair. 

A moment later San follows, sitting down next to him, so close their shoulders touch but Hongjoong won’t have any of his put on subtlety tonight. Gently pulling him down, he positions his head to rest comfortably in his lap, looking down at him with a reassuring smile.

“You did well in the live before, I’m proud of you.”, he murmurs and watches San’s dimple deepen as his face lights up with praise. 

A few more loving words and he’ll have him all gooey and pliant, no anxiety or reserve anywhere to be seen. Whenever San is too overwhelmed, the others let Hongjoong handle him and he doesn’t mind in the slightest.

Hongjoong’s hands wander up to San’s hair and the light head scratchles make San hum in satisfaction. He wouldn’t be surprised if San suddenly developed the ability to pur. He definitely looks like a cat in Hongjoong’s lap at the moment. 

Sliding off the couch one by one, his boyfriends get ready for the team meeting as well. Jongho and Mingi remain intertwined as they get comfortable leaning back against the lower part of the couch. Yunho is quick to get up and move the living room table out of the way. Only now Hongjoong notices that the box with his ring in it is gone but with San in his lap, all pliant and docile, he doesn’t see a reason to go look for it now. He’ll just put it on later. 

As soon as the couch table is out of the way it feels more like an actual team meeting. When they held their very first meeting in their tiny dorm they had gathered in their biggest room, which served as the living room. They had moved the couch and the table aside to be able to look at each other properly. Somehow the tradition stuck, even after they had moved to a bigger dorm and now to their individual rooms, where the biggest living room serves as their team meeting space. 

Sitting back down, Mingi cuddling up to his side without letting go of Jongho, Yunho welcomes Seonghwa with open arms as they lean back as well with Seonghwa sinking back against his chest in between his legs, smiling gleefully when Yunho wraps his arms around him and buries his head in the older one’s neck.

“No hickeys!”, Wooyoung parrots, imitating Yunho’s voice next to them and is quickly shut up by Seonghwa’s long legs reaching for his face. 

“Guys…”, Hongjoong says slowly, not really putting force into his voice but it seems to be enough because Yeosang quickly reacts and pulls Wooyoung away from Seonghwa to sit a bit further away from them.

There is a short moment where Wooyoung and Yeosang still shuffle around before the room falls silent. They all wait for Hongjoong to start and this might just be due to his role as the leader of their group or because he had taken the lead in their first few very important discussions. What’s most important is that they trust him to guide them. 

He takes a deep breath, gathering his thoughts. Beginnings are always hard but if Hongjoong has learned anything over the last few years it’s that holding back has always been the wrong choice.

“This might be a more important team meeting, maybe the most important one we’ve had until now.”, Hongjoong finally says and he feels San tense up a bit in his lap again but he is quick to caress it out of him with his hand in his hair before he continues talking. 

There is a sigh going through the group but Hongjoong can’t stop now that he has started. He’s holding back tears saying the next sentence:

“I love all of you so much, my heart constantly feels like it’s filled to the brim with it. The ring is just a sign of that love, a reminder if you will. It might mean something entirely different to you”, he takes a quick glance over to Jongho, who is staring at his ring absentmindedly, before he continues, “but I want you know that my love for you didn’t start with this ring and it won’t end with me taking it off either.” 

Hongjoong takes a deep breath as he tries to ground himself enough to form another sentence. Lowering his head to spot San staring up at him in his lap, he is surprised to see him looking up at him determindely, like he has just come to a conclusion.

Rolling to the side to sit up, San seems resolute to say something to the group. Hongjoong leans back against the armchair again and watches their lovely boyfriend kneel under the watchful eyes of everyone else.

“I honestly never thought I would ever get married… because I’m gay and-”, he breaks off for a moment to shake his head, regrouping his thoughts before he continues, “anyway, this feels very close to getting married actually.”

He points to the ring currently on his finger and Hongjoong has a great view on the others’ faces as they all look back at San in endearment. Seonghwa winds himself out of Yunho’s embrace to close the distance between them and cup San’s jaw.

“I love you so much, San. And there is nothing else I would rather call myself than Choi San’s husband.”

Seonghwa seals his proclamation with a kiss and several of their boyfriends cheer them on in agreement, including Hongjoong. All of them are aware how important this is for San but no one is as supportive of it as Seonghwa himself, whose connection to him has been very intense from the very beginning. 

“We’re all your husbands now San, get used to it.”, Wooyoung says to their side with a giggle, clearly excited about what is taking place in front of him as his head is resting in Yeosang’s lap. 

Seonghwa looks around himself and smiles when his eyes meet Yeosang’s, who looks back at him with a look full of fondness. He takes San’s hand in his own now and squeezes it before he glances over San’s shoulder to exchange looks with Hongjoong. At a loss for words because of the significance of the moment, he can just sigh in response before Seonghwa speaks up:

“I am pretty sure I’ve told all of you before but in the next few weeks we’re going to see and do things we have never dared to dream of and I want to make sure you know that none of this would have been possible without your unwavering love for me and each other. I love you.”

Yunho’s response is calm but there is the slightest tremble in his voice when he says:

“Not a day goes by where we aren’t reminded of how much you mean to us, Seonghwa.”

Everyone else agrees and Seonghwa is fighting tears as he is pulled into a hug by San. Hongjoong thinks there might be a few tears running down his cheeks as well but he doesn’t really care about that right now. He knew that he would probably cry sooner rather than later but it’s not like he has never cried in front of them before. 

As the others loudly compliment Seonghwa and voice their adoration, Jongho silently crawls towards him and leans his head on his shoulder as soon as he reaches him. Jongho isn’t one for words but he definitely was the most observing member amongst them, always noticing when others need comfort. 

“Thank you for pointing out the different meanings for everyone, hyung.”, Jongho quietly says over everyone’s chattering and Hongjoong’s breath hitches again at the emotional moment. He knows Jongho’s reason to be with them slightly differs from the others since his sexual attraction to them wasn’t nearly as important or even there unlike the strong bond he gradually established with them.  

Hongjoong knows all of them might have a different motivation to wear the ring. It’s definitely a commitment to each other but whether they regard it as a wedding band or simply a reminder who they belong to, is not what Hongjoong cares about. He just nods and kisses Jongho’s forehead again before taking his hand and squeezing it tightly.

Yunho and San are hugging now, whispering something into each other’s ear until Seonghwa pulls them both back against the couch, no doubt to move the team meeting forward. They don’t have that much time left after all. San is settling down in between Yunho and Seonghwa with Yunho’s arms tightly wrapped around him before Mingi suddenly chimes in:

“Thank you for always taking care of me whenever I need it. I know it must be-”

Yunho’s head snaps over to Mingi when it was previously fixated on San and Seonghwa still cuddling to his side. 

“It’s not hard, Mingi! Taking care of you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”, he says loud and clear, not sounding accusatory or annoyed at all.

Hongjoong smiles when Mingi’s cheeks start to redden and he is too embarrassed to respond. There is a moment where San and Seonghwa both pull Mingi in to hug him tightly as well before Jongho clears his throat, making the others turn their heads in his direction.

“I like that the ring is our physical proof of our commitment that we can show to the world. Everyone thinks they know what it means but they have no idea. It’s so much more than just a ring.”

Jongho is soft spoken and sounds collected but Hongjoong can tell that the words come directly from his heart. And he is completely right but he doesn’t get a chance to agree because Wooyoung already says:

“I love that we have something that is only for us, no one else. They don’t know and they probably never will. No matter if they think it’s just a fucking friendship ring. We know what it really means to us. ”

Yeosang giggles in agreement and is already grabbed by Wooyoung again, who claims him in a heated kiss that has San clearing his throat after several seconds. Both Yeosang and Wooyoung are barely able to be separated recently but Hongjoong figures that it’s because of the discussion they all had over dinner a few weeks ago where Yeosang reminisced about his connection with Wooyoung and how he had been crushing on him for years before debut even. 

It’s all sentimentality, Hongjoong muses and he can’t even blame them in the current situation they’re in. He is just as sentimental about the development of their relationship. 

Wooyoung slowly separates from Yeosang to shoot San a dirty look that has him smile back at him cheekily. All of them are suddenly exposed to the teasing energy that only Wooyoung can evoke in San and Hongjoong would love nothing more than to witness how this would pan out if they had all night for themselves. The team meeting would definitely turn into more than just talking if they kept this flirty back and forth up.  

But they’re leaving soon and so he focuses on counting down in his head who of his boyfriends have already gotten their turn to speak when Yeosang pulls Wooyoung back in, holding him in a headlock like embrace as he says in his usual monotone manner:

“Thank you all for loving me, despite-” 

That causes Wooyoung to struggle against his grip and drag him down to the floor with him as he exclaims:

“What do you mean ‘despite’? We love you because!”

Everyone else starts speaking up too, San at the forefront, who is already joining Wooyoung in his endeavor to tickle him. Hongjoong can’t really tell from this angle but he can’t stop smiling at them. 

Yeosang ends up nestled in between San and Wooyoung, all of them leaning agains the couch when San is saying for everyone to hear:

“We don’t care if you don’t want to have sex with any of us or just some of us or just sometimes, you belong to us!” 

Yeosang is smiling, looking down at the ground but Hongjoong can clearly see how touched he is. Seonghwa’s hand tenderly wanders over to ruffle his hair and San kisses his temple multiple times until Yeosang nods, hiding his face from everyone. 

They’re all quick to reassure each other of their love for one another, Hongjoong appreciates that about all of them. And he likes seeing San being confident in his love when just a few minutes ago he hadn’t appeared this way. 

For a moment no-one says a word, Yeosang’s head is buried in San’s shoulder while Wooyoung makes sure to hold on to him from the other side. He exchanges a reassuring look with Hongjoong on the other side and the smile he offers him makes him emotional all over again. 

Quickly, to keep himself from tearing up again, he says: 

“Thank you all for sharing your feelings, I know we can’t hold a fancy ceremony or anything but I am glad you all like the rings, does anyone else want-”

Yunho’s abrupt movement takes him by surprise and he stares at him wide-eyed when the younger one moves forward to kneel in the middle of their team meeting circle. His face mirrors his own feelings of tenderness and only now Hongjoong realizes he’s holding something behind his back.

“I would like to say something since you’ve been avoiding it for so long now.”

There are several gasps on either side when Yunho presents the box in his hands to Hongjoong, who is unable to look away from it. He’s seen it, he already held it in his hands,  he requested exactly this material when he purchased it but it still feels like he’s laying his eyes on it for the first time. 

“Kim Hongjoong-ssi, you’re already our leader but… do you… want to be our husband too?”

Yunho’s voice trembles when he says it in an overly theatrical way and Hongjoong can see the tears brimming in the corners of his eyes when he chokes on a laugh that sounds more like a sob.

Wooyoung is cheering from the side and so is Mingi, Hongjoong thinks but he can’t really take his eyes off of Yunho, who is still trying to smile despite the tears blurring his vision. 

Suddenly everyone is moving closer, surrounding Yunho still holding out the open box to him. He feels everyone’s eyes on him when he doesn’t immediately reply. Yunho quickly wipes his eyes dry before he looks at him again.

“Ever since we both started… hooking up I knew you’d be a constant in my life that I never want to lose. You’re giving me so much strength. Thank you for being the reason this relationship exists.”

Hongjoong can’t help but react to every word Yunho says with a new emotion. He giggles when he talks about their very beginning, he lets out a pained exhale as Yunho points out how much they’re able to rely on each other and he finds himself fiercely shaking his head when he thanks him. 

“No, no…”, he whispers and swallows around the lump in his throat, “I’m not the reason, you’re-”

San’s hand finds Hongjoong’s and there is no hesitation at all in his voice when he says:

“You are! You’ve been guiding us from the beginning. There would be no relationship at all if it wasn’t for you.”

Hongjoong can just continuously shake his head as he takes in what San said. This isn’t true! Not when San was the one who had insisted on committing. He had simply followed them all blindly, trusting them with his whole heart because what else was he supposed to do? He was head over heels already! 

He stares into San’s intense eyes, unable to come up with an answer. He can only scrunch up his face in disagreement but San’s hand comes up to his cheeks and Hongjoong’s eyes close on their own accord as he relaxes into it. 

“Do you remember what I told you once right after we got together? I feel like the whole world loves me when I’m with you. And it hasn’t changed since then.”, Mingi quietly says somewhere next to him, his voice sincere but so soft it almost breaks Hongjoong’s heart.

He kisses San’s palm and turns to look at Mingi fully. He can’t get a hold of his tears and feels some of them slipping down his cheeks again. 

“Mingki-yah…”, he rasps, knowing exactly what he is talking about. Once you love Mingi it’s like you’re getting all that love back but a thousand times more intensely. 

“How could I not love you?”, he gets out, unable to hide the sob ripping through his chest now. 

Yunho’s hand wipes away a few stray tears as he catches his gaze with a shy smile as if to say: See? You deserve all that love. Just like I told you.

He had, in fact, told him once, in his twin bed in their old dorm, when Hongjoong had once again felt bad for not limiting himself to him or San, or Mingi, or Wooyoung. He felt bad for wanting so much and only giving parts of himself to them, while they all gave him so much love in return.

“I always knew your love is far too precious for only one person, Hongjoong-ah.”, Wooyoung says next, as if he has just read his thoughts. 

They’re all very close together, holding one another, everyone focusing on Hongjoong until Wooyoung takes the opportunity to lean forward and take the ring out of its container. Yunho is quick to grab Hongjoong’s hand. 

“I know you said this ring is your promise to us but you should know that this is just as much our promise to you as well. You’re the core of our relationship, the heart of our love.” 

Wooyoung’s voice breaks towards the end and Hongjoong is so startstruck he can only watch the ring being slid onto his finger before his mind catches up with what Wooyoung has told him. The heart of our love.

Trying to ground himself but only managing to take in a shuddering breath, Hongjoong eventually murmurs:

“Only because I am so loved by all of you, I feel like I can love in return.”

As soon as he finishes the sentence he knows this will end up in one of his songs. He spots tears running freely down Mingi’s cheeks now but he can’t say anything more even if he wanted to.

“…and we’ll honor that with everything we have.”, Seonghwa says, just as choked up as Hongjoong feels. 

“You once told me you didn’t know whether you were going to be able to love as deeply as others but I have never met anyone loving as intensely as you do, Hongjoong-ah.”, he says next and his eyes were full of adoration and warmth.

Taking another shaky breath, Hongjoong just shakes his head again as if to negate Seonghwa’s point. But he is right. He had told him that, in the hotel room in Spain years ago, after they had kissed and Hongjoong had finally confessed, worried he might tarnish their friendship by making it complicated. Doubts that ended up being completely unfounded because Seonghwa felt the same way. Loved the same way.

It isn’t just that he loves differently. Hongjoong’s love has evolved over the years being with all of them. It grew from superficial little crushes into the profound debth it had now. Unable to look into any of the other’s faces, Hongjoong focuses on the ring on his finger instead, staring down at it in awe.

So this is how it feels to belong. 

He never dreamed to have something like this for himself, had never even entertained it as something to cherish one day. And now he was surrounded by love in its most unfiltered form. Seonghwa’s eyes are full of devotion while Yunho’s right next to him are filled with pride and adoration. Mingi on his other side has his gaze averted but when he looks up, Hongjoong can see the raw energy of Mingi’s pure emotions, wild and unrestrained.

He searches Jongho’s eyes who has been quiet this whole time but there is a bright smile on his lips as he watches the others, seemingly enjoying the simple feeling of love surrounding him. Hongjoong can relate to this all too well. He feeds off of the feeling of love around him. 

On his other side, and quite on the contrary, Wooyoung’s gaze seems to pierce through him, his cheeky grin underlining the mischief in his eyes. There is a clear sign of a challenge in his look as if to say: Want to see how much love I have for you? Come and get it.

It makes him let out a huffed laugh when he realizes that Wooyoung’s preferred way of talking about his feelings relies on him being competitive and physical. He never needs to ask how Wooyoung feels about him, the younger one is usually very adamant about showing it to him in the form of pulling him into his bedroom or Hongjoong’s studio or a random changing room. It’s exactly why he likes him so much.

All of a sudden, Yeosang shifts out of Wooyoung’s embrace to crawl to the other side of the crescent surrounding Hongjoong. His goal seems to be Mingi, who smiles softly when Yeosang hugs him from behind, wedging himself in between Jongho and him. Mingi’s head drops onto his shoulder and he groans satisfiedly when Yeosang’s fingers start carding through his hair.

Yeosang hasn’t said anything this whole time. Not that Hongjoong cares about that much. He knows how Yeosang feels about him, his playful and ever changing advances making him fall for his character over and over again. Or his boundless care for everyone in the group, always making sure they know that he is here, even if he doesn’t use words to comfort them.

Now he is looking back at Hongjoong with an unsure, almost shy expression. Like he wants to say something but is unsure how to put it into words. Already reaching out to reassure him that nobody will force him to say anything if he isn’t ready for it, he is ultimately stopped by Yeosang himself, who takes a deep breath before he says:

“Hongjoong-ah is the reason I started feeling safe enough to explore my sexuality with all of you and I have never felt more loved as I am now.”

The only thing Hongjoong can hear is his own rapid heartbeat in his ears as he lets these words sink in even if his instant reaction is to refute Yeosang’s statement. He did the exploration all by himself and everyone fell in love with him because he is such a wonderful person, Hongjoong had nothing to do with that! Yeosang’s voice is nothing more than a whisper when he adds:

“...and I am just so grateful for that.” 

Unable to hold himself back, Hongjoong reaches out anyway and is welcomed by Yeosang’s hand pulling him in to kiss him deeply. Yeosang’s kisses are always meaningful but this time Hongjoong feels chills run through his whole body with the way he’s being kissed. There is so much unsaid between them that doesn’t need to be put in words. There’s no need for that. They both know regardless.

Separating from Yeosang, Hongjoong turns his head to kiss Mingi next, trying to show him how much he appreciates the other’s display of emotions as well, even if he isn’t able to verbalize them as of now either.

Someone to their right is whistling but he is too distracted by holding onto both of his boyfriends. He feels another hand at the back of his neck and instantly he knows it's Yunho’s. 

Giving Mingi a last quick peck Hongjoong pulls back to look at Yunho right next to him, his hand already caressing his face. Covering his hand with his own, Hongjoong kisses Yunho too, murmuring:

“You too, thank you.”

Yunho just hums in response, kissing him back before whispering against his lips:

“The ring suits you, husband.”

He can’t help but chuckle at that, lightly biting Yunho’s bottom lip before pulling back to take a deep breath. He feels a bit dizzy after kissing his three boyfriends without a break but he should know by now. They take his breath away on a regular basis, he shouldn’t jeopardize his heart when it’s already working overtime. 

Quickly looking up to check on his other boyfriends, he spots Wooyoung in Seonghwa’s lap, looking up at him lovingly while playing with his longer hair. San’s attentive eyes are focused on him and his smile is everything Hongjoong needs to feel grounded again. He is loved and cared for. 

Yunho catches his gaze and turns his head too to smile at San, whose dimples deepen as soon as they make eye contact. His attention gets claimed when Mingi joins them by putting his chin onto Yunho’s shoulder, looking at San in the same loving way as Yunho does. 

San’s cute giggle makes Hongjoong’s smile grow on its own accord as it rings in his ears. No amount of musical harmony could recreate this sensation he feels right now. In the corner of his eyes he sees Jongho and Yeosang whispering to each other and he instantly knows it has to do with what Yeosang has mentioned moments before.

Due to their shared experiences when it comes to the way their attraction manifests and both of them being on the ace spectrum, the two of them share a lot of similarities, even if they express themselves in completely different ways. While Jongho is more guarded and careful when it comes to his feelings, Yeosang is much more adventurous, even if that occasionally ends up with him backtracking on what he thought he liked.

Hongjoong has never found it hard respecting either of their boundaries when it comes to intimacy and he doesn’t think he will ever struggle with it, even if he will never be able to fully relate to how they feel. Both of their heads are touching now as Jongho says something that makes Yeosang smile in the most beautiful way and Hongjoong just wants to kiss both of them right now. 

Out of nowhere, he is surprised by Wooyoung placing a kiss on his cheek, whispering sweet I love you’s in his ears and Hongjoong is momentarily distracted by the younger one straddling him and taking kisses from him that he would give him freely anyway. He can’t suppress a giggle when Wooyoung triumphantly sighs into his mouth, as if he just won some sort of game that Hongjoong isn’t in on. 

It’s not like he cares about that, he would indulge Wooyoung in anything he wanted and both of them know that very well. Wooyoung is grinning down at him now and Hongjoong is done for. Letting Wooyoung pin him down, blatantly exposing him for being nothing but a sucker for him because he didn’t push back and gave him all of the power instead. 

“You’re lucky we have to leave soon.”, Wooyoung murmurs, pushing his ass down against Hongjoong’s lap, making him take in a sharp breath.

Scoffing at his remark, Hongjoong can’t help but reply in a mocking tone:

“Oh no, you finally had me though.”

Wooyoung’s cheeks are blushing when he snorts out a laugh, becoming softer in Hongjoong’s arms. Suddenly being able to think with a bit more clarity, Hongjoong gently lifts the other off of him. Right, they need to leave soon and there is still a team meeting they have to get to. They probably won’t have that much time in the US with staff and management always present. 

Clearing his throat he sets on to get the attention back, seeing that Mingi is back in Yeosang’s lap while the other one tells Jongho something. San is basking in the attention of Yunho and Seonghwa who are looking at the ring on his hand as he animatedly talks to them. He loves all of them so much it’s truly unbelievable. Before he can remember what point he initially had, Wooyoung lets his head drop into San’s lap, breaking up the conversation this way as he casually says:

“Guys, we need to leave soon and I’m guessing hubby still wants a real team meeting so-”

San’s hands are the first to go for Wooyoung’s waist, shutting him up by making him laugh his high pitched laugh that they all know and love so much. Naturally, Seonghwa immediately joins in and the chaos is on again. They won’t have one quiet second in this relationship, Hongjoong notes as Wooyougng continues to screech with glee. Until he suddenly sits up and pushes the hands away, looking over to Jongho and Yeosang, who are sitting together in a tight embrace.

“Wait, Jongho-yah hasn’t said anything to Hongjoong-ah yet.”

Despite his reputation as the resident troublemaker, Wooyoung always wants to ensure that things stay fair among them, making everyone speak, letting everyone have a piece of him, never limiting himself to one single person in their relationship. Hongjoong finds it interesting that from an outside perspective, everyone would probably assume that he is the most protective person in their relationship when it’s actually Wooyoung who would never let anyone come in between them. 

All the attention is on Jongho on the far left all of a sudden, everyone waiting for the youngest to say something to Hongjoong. When they make eye contact, Jongho smiles at him mischievously and Hongjoong immediately knows what will follow. 

Their youngest is the most private of them all and Hongjoong has never minded in the slightest, especially since he never hesitated to share his opinion with him in person.

Even now Jongho has already let Hongjoong know what he thinks of the ring and how he feels about him. So Hongjoong’s smile is getting brighter by the second when Jongho opens his mouth to say:

“Hyung, umm… I mean you’re by far leading my rank of the best stroke game...”

The reaction is explosive. While Mingi bursts out laughing, Yunho and Seonghwa resort to gasping excitedly as they put their hands in front of their mouths. And even though Hongjoong is fully aware of the brashness Jongho is capable of, he still hasn’t expected anything like this. 

He feels bashful yet proud hearing this statement coming from the youngest, cherishing every second he gets with Jongho, be it sexual or not. But there is also something else rushing through him that makes him squirm in his seat. Wooyoung sits up on his knees, unable to hide his laugh as he exclaims with fake hurt:

“What? I thought you said I was the one dominating that rank.”

Jongho just raises an eyebrow, seemingly unimpressed. 

“Well, I didn’t say you were leading .”, he deadpans. 

That elicits a laugh that quickly turns into a scream coming from Wooyoung as he tries to crawl over his boyfriend’s laps to get to Jongho, whose giddy giggle has Hongjoong staring at a very characteristic and chaotic display of their relationship all over again.

“Please, just one more chance Jongho! When another one of your horny streaks hits, let me-”, he babbles, making Jongho giggle as he smiles mischievously. There is a hint of a blush visible on his cheeks when he nods but doesn’t reply. 

When Wooyoung struggles more to get through to him, Yunho quickly gets a hold of him and places him on top of his own legs, while San firmly pins him down by his ass, making everyone else, Hongjoong included, burst out in cheers. 

Slowly moving forward to kiss Jongho’s cheek, Hongjoong just murmurs:

“You take your time, Jongho-yah, thank you for the compliment.”

They share a knowing grin that entails much more than the memories they share. Hongjoong knows how Jongho feels and that’s enough. Gathering himself again, Hongjoong tries to continue with the team meeting he intended to finish before they have to leave. 

“Since we won’t have that much time in the US I think we should really take the time to talk now… Does anyone want to share something else while we’re all here?”

He can feel the more serious energy settle back into the group, even though most of them are still huddled close and Wooyoung is suspiciously giggling into Yeosang’s crotch in front of him. 

San is the first one to speak up, his manner more serious than the others. 

“I liked that we tried to make time for ourselves, despite our schedules. And I liked… your attention, hyung.”

San’s statement is drowned out by another fit of giggles coming from Wooyoung that San quickly manages to calm down by spanking his behind a few times. Hongjoong’s eyes settle on San and they smile at each other knowingly. 

Seonghwa kisses San’s nape sitting halfway behind him, as if to praise him for sharing the last part. Well, he probably knows what San was getting at, also being present while Hongjoong was giving him the aforementioned attention. Mingi clears his throat and the attention shifts again.

“I… would- I think I want to spend more time with Wooyoung-ah, if that’s okay.”

Wooyoung’s head snaps up at the mention of his name and he smiles widely as he looks at him. There is no hesitation audible in his voice when he loudly agrees.

“Yes of course! I also want to spend more time with you, want to share my room when we arrive?

Hongjoong smiles when Mingi giggles. He is almost inclined to ask whether he can join, given Wooyoung’s obvious advances before, but he can tell that Mingi probably meant spending more time with Wooyoung alone so he just lets the moment pass. 

Seonghwa is shuffling forward until he is kneeling next to Hongjoong, lightly kissing his shoulder, murmuring:

“Do you want to share something with us?”

Hongjoong turns his head to grin at Seonghwa, clearly onto what he had just done. He technically knows he usually takes care of everyone else’s needs before he even considers his own but he usually can’t detect it right away when he does it like in this very moment.

What he usually also tends to forget is that his boyfriends are very perceptive as well, knowing full well when to point it out to him as Seonghwa did just now. 

He leans in to kiss Seonghwa’s lips, wordlessly thanking him for the reminder and then considers his answer. Of course there are worries on his mind, like them having to leave soon, their practice schedules, the unanswered questions he will only have answers to when they will actually be in America but none of that belongs in this space that they’ve built for themselves. Where everyone is safe and loved. 

So he brings up the one thing that still is bugging his mind ever since their first team meeting:

“We should probably talk about the sleep arrangements already, I don’t want to cause another scene in front of-”

Seonghwa’s breathy laugh makes his eyes sparkle as he lowers his head and covers his mouth with his hand. He’s very aware of the only real conflict they keep having and what’s causing everyone the biggest headache: Who is gonna sleep with who for the night?

“I already got dibs on Mingki-yah!”, Wooyoung yells and no one interjects which crosses two off of the list already, Hongjoong notes in relief. 

Seonghwa’s hand finds Hongjoong’s and he kisses the ring on his finger when he lightheartedly says:

“I think in order to mark the occasion we should let Hongjoong choose first.”

Hongjoong blinks at the unexpected turn and he looks up at everyone, suddenly shy to share his opinion. It’s not like he has favorites and he definitely doesn’t feel bad for picking someone, there is always another night coming after all, but he doesn’t know if he can decide right now. 

“I- I really don’t care today, whoever will have me I guess.”, he says, huffing out a shy laugh. He doesn’t know why he suddenly sounds shy. 

Several of his boyfriend’s arms shoot into the air, and with the way Yunho and San are screaming Me! Hongjoong feels his face becoming even hotter. He loves them all so much. Seonghwa kisses his ring again and quietly says:

“I think we’ll be fine tonight… do you maybe have room for one more?”

Hongjoong is quick to reassure him by breathing a hushed of course, before kissing his jaw. He really is the luckiest man in the world right now and he can’t believe he gets to have all of this and so much more. He already wants to say these words out loud when a startling sound that comes  from a phone interrupts him.

The alarm.

They have to leave.

Everyone groans but gets ready nonetheless. It’s time to get their hand lugagge and walk down to the lobby where the managers are probably waiting already. Taking a deep breath, Hongjoong is pulled to his feet by Seonghwa, whose glint in his eyes still hasn’t disappeared. 

There is nothing but love and adoration in his eyes when he is looking at him and it makes Hongjoong want to pause everything and write songs about the way the glimmer reflects in his beautiful eyes. But alas, work comes first. He can still write these songs later when they board the plane, which he definitely will.

Wooyoung’s kiss against his cheek drags him out of his thoughts yet again when he grabs his hand, phone already in hand.

“Let’s take a picture!”, he says excitedly, pushing everyone closer together while he makes them present the rings on their fingers. Everyone shuffles closer to form a circle as they show off their hands.

Hongjoong mindlessly follows Wooyoung’s instructions to hold still, not really registering what’s taking place right now. All he can think about is how this picture is going to turn out, how they are commemorating this moment. It might just look like the same rings on everyone’s hand but they stand for so much more than the world will ever know.

Trust.

Love.

Eternity.