Archive of Our Own

It rained for six days straight.

Not just some on and off drizzle, but torrential sheets of water coming down from the sky in a cold and righteous fury. In all the dreariness, it should’ve inspired something, whether it be something dark or maybe just solemn. When really all Bilbo could do was stare out the window in front of his desk, pen shaking ever so slightly in his hand.

He stared and stared, mind blank of anything real or imaginary. The sound of the rain and his quiet breathing filled his ears. By some outside force, stronger than his own mind apparently, Bilbo removed his gaze from the window and down at the blank pages in front of him. Something clenched faintly in his heart, maybe disappointment, maybe something else entirely. With tired legs, he stood from the desk chair and made his way out into the kitchen.

The rain seemed louder in there, or maybe it was because he was finally back in his mind and not somewhere in the distance. At first, Bilbo thought his tired mind was playing tricks on him, but when he looked up and focused just enough, he saw that the lights were flickering. He thought back, had he forgotten to pay the electric bill? No, he was certain he had. Looking back out the kitchen window he saw that it was more than raining. There was gushing wind that shook the trees with a vengeance, and everything was covered in a thin sheet of ice. Bilbo never realized how violent winters were up here, but give or take a few hours the power would eventually go out, he was sure.

The squeal of steam from the pot on the stove yanked him back in. Why was he so distant today, like his brain was riding waves that just kept going and going farther away from where it needed to be? He reached up into the cabinets and pulled down a mug and bag of simple green tea. He placed the bag inside the mug, then slowly poured the boiling water into it.

Bilbo wasn’t sure how long he stood there just swirling the bag around inside the water, watching it go from clear to deep green, but when he took his first sip it was nearly room temperature. And that’s how it went for the rest of the first day of that terrible rain. Staring out the window, holding the pen loosely in his hands, eventually taking a sip of his cold tea, forcing himself out of his desk and back into the kitchen.

Bilbo woke up the next morning, unsurprisingly, to the sound of rain. And even more unsurprisingly, he was still at his desk. He woke up stiff and uncomfortable, slouched awkwardly over his wooden desk. He rubbed his eyes, groaning quietly. This wasn’t too uncommon of an occurrence for him, sleeping at his desk or the couch and even once the kitchen table. None too often in his own bed.

He pushed himself up from his desk, avoiding looking at the blank notebook still resting on his desk, which he was sure was taunting him, and glanced back out the window. Nothing had changed, the rain poured, the wind gushed, and everything looked like a dangerous icy wonderland.

Bilbo made his way to the bathroom, feeling rather gross. He didn’t know if it was because he was too tired to do anything but rely on muscle memory or he really couldn’t remember, but the memory of his last shower escaped him entirely.

He looked at the time on his watch before taking it off, along with the rest of his clothes. 8:37 a.m., rather early, if he must say so himself but not that it mattered. He took a long shower, just letting the hot water run over him. After about an hour or so, he got out and changed into something more than just an old sweater and pajama pants. Then, he supposed, despite poor conditions outside, he could make a trip into town. A change of scenery would be good for his head.

Grabbing his keys and a small umbrella, Bilbo walked out of the house and dashed for his car, parked in the street out front. Making it inside luckily only slightly damp, he closed his umbrella and started the car. He glared at the rearview mirror, as if it were the one responsible for the ratty mess of his curls. Bilbo shook his head, nothing short of like a dog.

Man he really was a mess. He couldn’t pinpoint when everything became such a blur, maybe it was. No, he told himself forcefully, no it’s not that.

Without another thought, he put the car in gear and drove off down the road. Bilbo lived in a small neighborhood, with many friendly, and in some cases overly friendly, neighbors. Houses were all of the same size and style, made for small families, like most of his neighbors were. Yet, he was the odd bachelor living on his own in house much too big for him. Or at least, that’s what they said.

With the rain, everything looked empty. People were locked up in their houses, and once he was in town, there was no one walking the sidewalks. On occasion he would catch someone darting from their car into the nearest building. Bilbo decided that he would start with grocery shopping and then go from there. He pulled his car over and parked next to the sidewalk. Grateful for the lack of cars, because parallel parking was something he’d long forgotten.

He glanced over at his umbrella, opting to leave it there just to avoid the extra hassle, besides it looked as if the rain had lightened up and the distance from here to the shop was short. Bilbo turned off his car and pushed the door open. He kept his head down as he walked up to the shop door.

Bilbo reached out to grab the door handle and nearly jumped out of his skin when he touched not the metal handle, but another hand. As he looked up at the person attached to said hand, he couldn’t help but think that, wow he was really out of it.

“Um, I-I’m sorry,” he muttered, finally pulling his hand away.

“It’s fine, here,” a deep voice rumbled.

Bilbo finally raised his eyes to meet the other person’s. It was a pretty far reach considering that they were a good head or two taller than him, and it only threw him off more when he was met by the bluest eyes he had ever seen.

“Um, would you care to go inside,” the person asked.

Wow, this is awkward, Bilbo thought. He had just been staring at the man instead of entering the door which he had been politely holding open. Bilbo just rubbed his hands and nodded. He stepped through the door, he could hear it close behind him as the man followed. Bilbo turned and began to speak before he could think to anything else.

“Um, sorry again about that,” he spoke shortly.

“It’s no problem, if you don’t mind me saying, but you didn’t seem entirely there,” the man said, a hint of concern in his voice.

“It’s the rain, you know, messes with my head,” Bilbo uttered feebly.

“Yeah, I understand.”

Before the, rather awkward, conversation could continue, the sound of his name being called from the back of the store caught his attention.

“Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins, is that you?”

Bilbo turned to see Hamfast Gamgee appear from behind one of the aisles. Bilbo smiled fondly at the sight of his old friend. Hamfast pulled him into a big hug, one he gratefully returned, but then the elder man jumped back as if just realizing that the man was still standing there behind him.

“Oh, how impolite of me, welcome, are you looking for something in particular,” the man shook his head, “Okay, well let me know if you need anything.”

“Thank you,” the man said.

Bilbo watched as he stepped around him and began browsing the store. The man glanced back at him once more before putting his attention on shopping.

“It’s been such a long time since I’ve seen you,” Hamfast continued.

“I know, I know,” Bilbo shook his head, “But how have you been, the wife and kids?”

“Every one’s doing just fine, though this rain is really putting a damper in the kids’ mood. They’d much prefer snow,” Hamfast gabbed.

“I think we all do,” Bilbo agreed.

“Well, well I’ll leave you to your shopping, just holler if you need anything,” Hamfast gripped his shoulder tightly.

Bilbo only smiled in response and watched as Hamfast disappeared once more into the back of the store. Turning, he grabbed a hand basket and began to look around for what he needed.

Despite the store being rather small in size, he didn’t run into the other man again. A few more customers came in during the time he was shopping. Finally pleased with the contents of his basket, he went up to the register where he saw that the man was already purchasing his things. Bilbo watched as he collected his stuff and gave a polite goodbye to Hamfast. The man turned around, immediately they made eye contact. Bilbo couldn’t ignore the heat in his cheeks as the man smiled at him.

Bilbo pulled his eyes away and forced himself to step up to the register, placing the basket on it. As Hamfast began bagging the items, Bilbo noticed the look he was giving him.

“Don’t give me that,” Bilbo snapped.

“What! I didn’t say anything,” Hamfast feigned innocence.

Bilbo just chuckled and shook his head. He handed Hamfast a twenty to pay for the, rather pitiful amount of, groceries. He gathered up his bags and told Hamfast to keep the change. With a polite goodbye, he left the shop. Bilbo placed the bags into the back seat of his car, the rain was still calm, only a slight drizzle, well at least for the moment. He glanced at his watch, 12:48 p.m., the day was barely half over.

With a sigh, Bilbo stood up and closed the back door. Just as he was about to open the driver’s door, ready to give up for the day in all honesty, he noticed someone walking into a store just a few doors down. Bilbo looked up at the fading sign above the door, he couldn’t make out much, only the word café.

Café, he thought, why not? Bilbo stepped away from his car and walked to the café. He was conscious of every move he made, really not wanting to repeat what he had done at the grocery store. Except as soon as he stepped inside the café, he was hit with an onslaught of memories that he could feel himself fading away again.

Bilbo tried to keep walking, but the same all-consuming distance ate at his mind. He turned his head to look down at the small table next to him, running a gentle hand over the top of it. One more step and he ran into a wall. As he blinked rapidly, trying with all his might to focus, he realized that no, not a wall, another person. He looked down at himself, he was dripping in coffee, presumably the other person’s coffee. Oh, wow, maybe he shouldn’t have left the house.

“It seems we can’t stay out of each other’s way,” a familiar voice rumbled, too close to his ear for comfort.

Bilbo’s head shot up from the wreckage that was his shirt, to the person he had collided with. It was the man from the grocery store. Now holding an empty cup and equally covered in coffee. Bilbo’s hands flew to cover his mouth, oh how embarrassing.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry,” he said, if a little bit frantically.

“It’s not your fault, I was hardly paying attention either, my eye was caught,” the man replied.

“Caught by what,” he asked stupidly.

“Um, well, lots of things,” the man stammered, the red of his cheeks were surely only in Bilbo’s imagination, “I imagine we should probably clean this up.”

“Yeah, um, let me go get some napkins,” Bilbo scurried off towards the front counter.

Mind still spinning, as he was pulling as many napkins as he could from the dispenser, he was met by a familiar face.

“Bilbo! It’s been so long, oh,” Primula exclaimed, quickly dropping what was in her hands and rushing around the counter.

Just as his cousin was about to hug him, she noticed the mess he was poorly trying to clean up. He chuckled at the wince on her face.

“What happened?”

“Uh, accident.”

Prim scoffed and reached back over the counter, then thrust two towels in his face. He took them gratefully, using one to sop up his shirt, he looked around for the man. Who was throwing away his empty cup and frowning at his formerly white shirt.

“I’ll be right back,” he told Prim.

Bilbo rushed back over to the man and offered him the other towel. So, now the both of them were patting their coffee stained shirts. Eventually giving up, he had gotten most of the excess off and now it was only damp.

“Again, I’m sorry about that, I should’ve been paying attention,” Bilbo stammered.

“Like I said, we’re both at fault, and it’s not like I don’t have five more the same shirt at home,” the man responded. Bilbo laughed softly.

“Let me buy you a drink,” he said faster than he could think otherwise.

The man looked confused, paused mid action of handing Bilbo back the towel. He looked confused, even worried, but then his stern features relaxed into a kind smile.

“I mean, if you want, I feel bad and I was going to buy myself one, and now we’re wearing yours, and,” Bilbo rambled.

“Thorin,” the man replied simply.

“I’m sorry,” Bilbo was confused.

"If you’re going to buy me a drink, you should at least know my name. So, my name’s Thorin,” the man, Thorin, explained.

“Oh, oh! I’m Bilbo.”

“It’s very nice to meet you Bilbo.”

“It’s nice to meet you too.”

Bilbo bought them both drinks, a chamomile tea for himself and a black coffee for Thorin. They talked for a long while, Bilbo learned that Thorin was from out of town. Only here for a week to visit an old friend. He told Thorin about Hamfast, since he had seen that they obviously knew each other, about his cousin Primula, and how, well, most everyone knew each other in Shire Vale.       

He learned that Thorin had two nephews, Fili and Kili, whom he loved like his own kids. And Bilbo matched that Prim had just had a son, Frodo, who he called nephew, even though he was really just his cousin, but who really cares about formalities. Thorin chuckled at that. Bilbo noticed that the bearded man didn’t smiled very often, and when he did it was only a small one. He wondered if he would be able to see a full smile, one with teeth and took up his whole face and traveled into those blue eyes.

“Bilbo. Bilbo.”

Bilbo blinked a few times and focused in on Thorin. He glanced down at his watch, 3:57 p.m., oh wow, he should really head home. The sky outside was getting dark, oh how he hated that the sun set so early in the winter.

“May I walk you to your car?” Thorin asked.

“Um, um, yes, of course.”

 They both stood up from their seat and walked over to the trash can, tossing their cups inside.

“Bye, Bilbo!” Prim called from the counter, despite a customer still ordering.

“Bye, Prim,” he replied with a wave.

The two of them left the café and walked down the sidewalk in silence. Only about 10 feet from the café door, the rain began to come down in sheets again. He felt a hand grip his and pull him under the canopy over the door of the hair salon next to the café.

“Does it normally rain this much here,” Thorin asked, rubbing his soaked hair.

“No, it seems you chose a rather bad time to come visit,” Bilbo chuckled.

They both sat quietly watching the rain come down heavily. It took him a minute, but he eventually noticed that there was still a pressure on his hand. He looked down to see Thorin’s hand was still intertwined with his. His arm twitched, which in turn caught Thorin’s attention, and both of them pulled away.

Despite the cold rain, he could feel his skin heating up. The two stood in silence, it was still rather awkward, but eventually the rain took its toll and Bilbo began to shiver. Glaring miserably at the rain, he wanted to go home but driving in the dark in this storm was really not something he wanted to test.

Bilbo barely noticed the change in weight on him, but the warmth certainly caught his attention. He looked over at Thorin, who was now bare armed, and then down at himself. The black leather coat nearly engulfed him. Thorin kept his gaze out at the street, looking like he wanted to avoid addressing what he’d just done. Bilbo smiled to himself and pulled the jacket in closer.

It was a good fifteen minutes, according to his watch, until the rain settled down to reasonable rate. Thorin then stepped out from under the canopy, he gestured for Bilbo to follow. Adjusting his grip on the leather jacket he walked towards him. They finished the short walk to his car, which Bilbo unlocked and plopped inside. He then remembered the jacket. Bilbo opened his mouth to say something and Thorin held up a hand to stop him.

“Keep it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

They fell quiet again, Thorin was completely drenched at this point and Bilbo tried his best not to look too closely at how well the coffee stained shirt stuck to his body.

“Um, well, hopefully I’ll get to see you again,” Thorin said quietly.

“Yeah, I hope so too.”

“Good night Bilbo, it was nice meeting you,” Bilbo felt his heart skip at the sound of his name on Thorin’s tongue.

“It was nice to meet you too,” he replied, “Good night.”

With a nod, Thorin began to walk away and Bilbo closed his door and started the car. He was unreasonably warm being both in the car and wearing the jacket, but he didn’t want to take the jacket off. Bilbo put the car in gear and took off down the road, hopefully the rain would hold off until he got home.

The third day, Bilbo woke once more to rain, but more than that he knew it was going to be one of those days. As soon as he sat down at his desk, tea already lukewarm, picked up his pen and looked out the window, he knew the day was over. So as it goes, he spent most of day staring except in the back of his mind sat the bluest eyes he’d ever seen and a smile he wish he could see.

The fourth day was the worst, as far as rain goes. But Bilbo was determined, and really not too worried about getting wet. So taking a shower, eating breakfast, and dressing decently enough, he set out for town. He was proud of himself, making it this far, but despite it just being a good day for him, there was a lot more motivation to get out.

Bilbo parked his car in front of the café this time, he looked at the oversized leather jacket in the passenger seat. He couldn’t wear it, the jacket was at least three sizes too big for him and he would look ridiculous. He would take it with him though, just in case.

Inside the café was nearly empty save for a few people on their laptops. Bilbo ignored the patronizing thoughts dancing around at the back of his mind, shaking his head he walked up to the counter. Primula smiled brightly when she saw him.

“Back so soon, it must be a good week now, huh,” Prim coaxed, “Though I can’t say you picked the best weather.”

“Yeah, I don’t really get much of a say,” Bilbo chuckled.

“Ah, well, that’s alright. What matters is you’re doing your best,” Prim smiled again, “What can I get you.”

“Just a tall chamomile, please,” Bilbo fiddled with one of the stirring straws.

“Coming right up.”

Bilbo stood at the counter, twirling the stirring straw and glancing at the window every so often. Prim came back with his tea and he sat at the table near the window, the one he and Thorin had sat at just two days before. The tinkle of the bell above the door caught his attention. He didn’t recognize the man who walked in. He was big, both in height and sheer mass. Bald too, which only made him even more threatening. His face was mangled with rage and scars.

Bilbo sunk down in his chair, watching the man stomp up to the register, vaguely worried for Prim’s wellbeing. Bilbo kept sipping his tea, trying not to pay too much attention to the man. The sound of the man’s hand slamming against the counter made him and several others jump. It was mere minutes after the man began to shout at Prim, who was holding her own bravely, that Thorin burst through the door.

“Azog!” Thorin yelled.

The angry bald man turned aggressively, rage intensifying. Bilbo was scared now and Prim was backing away from the counter, picking up her phone and frantically dialing. Other customers were gathering their things and moving away.

Bilbo couldn’t hear a word they were seemingly growling at each other. Thorin’s, albeit grumpy, kind face was twisted in anger and pain. In the end, it was Azog that threw the first punch. So after that it was only self-defense on Thorin’s part, and defend he did. Bilbo couldn’t bear to watch for very long, the sights and sounds were enough to paralyze him.

Soon enough, Prim was at his side holding him close and gently soothing him. The situation had escalated, with one last hit everything settled back down. Azog was lying unconscious on the ground and Thorin wasn’t looking much better. Police and ambulances arrived, quickly taking care of the situation.

“Are you okay, Bilbo,” Prim asked gently.

“I’m fine, I’ll be fine, this isn’t the same thing,” Bilbo muttered.

“It doesn’t have to be the same, it can still be a trigger,” Prim continued.

“I’m fine, Prim, I promise,” he replied much harsher than he meant.

They had taken Thorin to the ambulance to check up on him, and a barely conscious Azog away in the police car. Bilbo went to find Thorin after the police pried Prim away to ask her some questions. He gripped the leather jacket deathly tight, sliding through the crowds, closer to Thorin, who was now resting against the back doors of the ambulance.

He seemed to be asleep. Even with a split lip and a black eye, Bilbo thought he looked peaceful. His fingers itched to touch his face. Instead he shook Thorin’s knee gently. He woke up immediately, face full of surprise.

“Bilbo,” he gasped quietly.

“Hey there, how are you feeling,” he opted to ask.

“’ve been better but not bad,” Thorin replied.

“Um, here’s your jacket. Thank you for letting me borrow it,” Bilbo held it out to Thorin.

“It was no problem,” Thorin lifted his arms to grab it but winced in pain.

“He really got you good, huh,” Bilbo just laid the jacket down next to him.

“Yeah, paramedics said I don’t need any stitches but lots of bruising,” Thorin rolled his head, working out the stiffness.

“If you don’t mind me asking, who was that?”

“I guess you just saw me beat the shit out of him, so I don’t blame you for being curious,” Thorin inhaled deeply, “Well, he’s the one who caused my brother’s accident, but he got convicted on bail and was out in a few months. He ran off, moved to a different city and what not, but the old friend, the one I’m visiting, told me he was here in Shire Vale. And well I had to come see. Never really intended for it to get this far, but I’m not denying it, it felt good.”

“Um, who’s your friend that you’re visiting,” Bilbo pressed, hoping he wouldn’t overstep, it’s just he was curious about Thorin, extremely so.

“Gandalf Greyhame, you may know him, I’ve heard he has quite a reputation around here,” Thorin scoffed.

So Thorin knew Gandalf, Bilbo wondered if that was a good or a bad thing.

"Yeah, I’ve known Gandalf since I was a child,” Bilbo replied.

A small movement caught Bilbo’s eye, the cut on Thorin’s lip was bleeding again. Instinctively, Bilbo reached up and wiped the blood off of his chin, gentle and caring. Their eyes remained connected, Bilbo couldn’t stop staring, but for this once he didn’t really mind.

The fifth day began as such, Bilbo woke yet again to the sound of heavy rain. He stared at the white ceiling, trying to decide whether it was worth getting out of bed today. In the end he decided that, yes, yes it was. Thorin said he left Sunday and according to his alarm clock it was Friday. He wanted to see him again.

Then he climbed out of bed with an enthusiasm that shocked himself and headed to the kitchen to make tea. Before the water was even boiled there was a knock at his door. Bilbo’s brow furrowed, who in their right mind would visit him? As much as imagination wished it was a certain blue eyed someone, he knew that he didn’t even know where Bilbo lived.

He tied up his robe and made for the door. As he opened it, he was surprised to see Gandalf standing on the other side.

“Gandalf!” Bilbo exclaimed, “What are you doing here?”

“Now, is that a way to greet a guest,” the old man chided.

“I suppose not, but it is early and I wasn’t expecting any company,” Bilbo folded his arms.

“Well, I promise not to be a bother,” Gandalf stepped inside, “I only wanted to talk to you about Thorin Oakenshield.” 

Bilbo didn’t really know how to react to that, Gandalf was always meddling. He made his way back into the kitchen to finish making tea, this time he grabbed two mugs.

“How do you know him,” was the first thing Bilbo asked as he sat down at the table.

“Thank you,” Gandalf said, taking the mug of tea, “Ah, well I should ask you much the same. But I know Thorin because I was old business partners with his family. Except Thorin didn’t take after the business, that was his sister, Dis, he was never one for being confined.”        

“We met in Hamfast’s shop,” Bilbo answered, “What business?”

“Jewelry, ever heard of the Durin & Co. Diamond Retailers.”

“Vaguely. I had no clue you worked in the jewelry industry, Gandalf,” Bilbo sipped his tea thoughtfully.

“I’ve done a great many things in my time, my dear Bilbo,” Gandalf sighed setting down his mug, “But I must ask, what do you think of Thorin?”

“Well, I don’t know, he’s rather kind, if a little grumpy, but nice to be around. Why do you care Gandalf, if you’ve known him so long why does my opinion matter,” Bilbo huffed.

“I was only asking because he seems to think rather highly of you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means what you want it to mean. I saw him yesterday after his confrontation with Azog, and he was worried about you, that he had somehow unknowingly offended you, but I imagine seeing such a brutal fight brought back less than pleasant memories.”

“Yeah, well, you of all people should know.”

“I understand.”

Bilbo just rolled his eyes, Gandalf and his vagaries. Placing a barely drank from mug on the table, Gandalf stood and readjusted his scarf.

 “Thank you very much for the tea Bilbo, I must be on my way.”

“No problem, it was nice seeing you again, albeit a little irritating.”

“Good to know you haven’t changed for the worst, my dear Bilbo,” Gandalf smiled, a twinkle in his eye.

“Good bye, Gandalf,” Bilbo waved as the man walked out the door and back into the rain.

It took him a while to get moving again, thoughts spinning and whirring, Bilbo had to bring himself back down to the ground. Eventually, he made through a shower, breakfast, and was now heading to town in his car.

The rain was icier than usual, which scared him minutely, but the roads were clear of other vehicles so he took his time. As he came to town, he couldn’t decide where he wanted to go. The café seemed to the safest bet, but it also seemed too easy. Where else do I have to go, Bilbo thought.

It was now two days in a row he came to the café, he was sure Prim would burst with excitement at the prospect. The rain was coming down almost like snow, it was colder than usual outside, oh why oh why.

Bilbo was grateful for the warm café, he shivered slightly and rubbed his hands together. He scanned the sitting area before moving on, to his surprise, and honest delight, he found Thorin sitting in the corner, staring out the window. Trying not to smile too much, Bilbo made his way over to the other man.

"Is this seat taken?”

Thorin startled and quickly looked over at him, a small amount of fear on his face faded into the usual kind demeanor.

“No, um, I mean, you can sit here, yes,” Thorin babbled.

Bilbo chuckled, and removed all his winter gear, a scarf, gloves and a rather large coat. He smiled at Thorin, who returned it with his same small smile.

“It’s nice to see you,” Thorin began.

“It’s nice to see you too,” Bilbo returned.

They couldn’t really seem to find their footing yet. Both awkwardly staring anywhere else but each other. Suddenly, Prim appeared bearing a signature tall cup.

“Because this is day number two, this one is on the house,” Prim placed the cup, he assumed a tall chamomile tea, on the table in front of him.

She pulled him into a side hug, slightly awkward considering she was standing and he was sitting, and pushed her face against his.

“I’m so proud of you,” she said excitedly before dashing back up to the counter.

Bilbo could see Thorin chuckling under his breath, and then he could feel his cheeks heating up.

“It’s nice to see she cares about you,” Thorin stated.

“Yeah, Prim’s always been there for me, the only family I have left really,” Bilbo replied.

Thorin seemed to be contemplating something, but then decided against it. He shifted in his chair and smiled at Bilbo. If his stomach fluttered with butterflies, he didn’t think about it too much.

Very much like the first day, they finally found topics that would avoid anything sensitive and yet would keep them occupied. After a while, when both their drinks were empty, it seemed one was waiting for the other to make the next move.

Thorin looked out the window, so did Bilbo, the rain had stopped, not just relaxed, but it seemed nothing was falling anymore. That’s when Thorin stood from his chair and began putting on his jacket.

“Come on, I wanna show you something,” Thorin explained.

Bilbo tried not to look like he was hurrying as he bundled up again. But it probably didn’t work, his mind was too excited about the idea of going somewhere with Thorin. They both threw their cups into the trash can and said their goodbyes to Prim before leaving the warmth of café and into the cold outside.

They walked rather close to each other, whether for warmth or another reason, Bilbo didn’t know. He wondered where Thorin was taking him, Bilbo hoped that Thorin realized he had lived in Shire Vale since he was born and there wasn’t much he hadn’t seen in the town.

“It’s just up ahead,” Thorin said suddenly.

The town park, Bilbo thought curiously. He pushed any doubting thoughts away and kept walking forward. They came around the end of the last building, close to the entrance of the park, and that’s when Bilbo saw it.

The entire park was covered in a thin layer of ice, reflected like glass. Everything was frozen and it looked like a wonderland of sparkling glass. It was rather breathtaking.

“Even though it took days of nasty rain, it’s quite beautiful don’t you think,” Thorin murmured.

“Very beautiful,” Bilbo said wistfully, “But how does something so beautiful come from something so horrible. That rain was such a nuisance.”

“There is beauty in strength,” Thorin explained, “After all, coal cannot become a diamond until put under pressure.”

Bilbo turned away from the ice park to look at Thorin, who was facing him and an indescribable look was in his eyes. Bilbo reached a gloved hand up the touch Thorin’s face gently. Without a second thought, he stood on his tiptoes and pressed his lips firmly against Thorin’s.

For a moment, he was afraid, negative thoughts coming forward, but that moment was only fleeting because Thorin’s arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him impossibly closer. Thorin bent down to meet him halfway, his lips were dry from the cold air but warm nonetheless.

More and more desperate, Bilbo ran his hands through Thorin’s beard and into his short hair, gripping tightly. He felt the other man’s tongue tease at his lips and with a small gasp he opened his mouth and deepened the kiss. They began to gasp more and more, Bilbo’s hands itched to touch.      

He ran one gloved hand down Thorin’s chest, Bilbo felt him moan into his mouth, and it was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard. Eventually they pulled apart, blowing hot air into each other’s faces. Just as Bilbo was about to speak, he felt something hit his head. It was rain, but it was more like ice as it began to fall and hit their heads painfully.

“Let’s get back to my car,” Bilbo huffed.

“Okay.”

They both moved as quickly as they could, with the danger of slipping at the back of their minds. Just feet from Bilbo’s car, the rain fell like a dam was released. It drenched them both quickly and painfully. They both plopped into the car, panting heavily.

“Man, I can’t wait for this rain to end,” Bilbo huffed.

“Yeah, you’re telling me.”

The sound of rain hitting the car roof and their heavy breathing were the only sounds for many moments. Bilbo turned his head to look at Thorin in the passenger seat, he was flushed and panting and soaking wet. And he had never seen anything more attractive in his life.

“Come home with me,” Bilbo said suddenly, more a command than a question.

Thorin looked at him, wide eyed, and nodded, faint sounds of the word yes playing at his lips. Bilbo started the car and hurriedly, yet carefully, made his way down the road.

An air of anticipation and smell of wet clothes filled the car. Bilbo couldn’t remember a time in his conscious memory where he’d felt so invigorated, like he was ready for anything. Bilbo parked his car in the same spot in front of his house and turned it off. He looked at Thorin once more, who just smirked. God, words couldn’t explain how he felt right now.

Both, pushed their respective doors open and made a dart for the house, braving the harsh rain once more. Bilbo quickly unlocked his front door and both of them burst inside. He closed the door behind them, finally grateful to be somewhere dry.

“First of all, shoes off, I don’t want water tracked through my house,” Bilbo opted to ignore Thorin’s amused chuckle, “Next follow me to the laundry room, we can put our clothes in the dryer.”

“Then, we make use of our time while our clothes are drying,” Thorin murmured into his ear causing him to shiver.

“Yes, then we do that.”         

Bilbo grabbed Thorin’s hand and led him down the hall to the laundry room. Everything was soaked, his scarf, jacket, gloves, shirt, and pants. He put in shirts and pants first, since they were the most important. He figured the jackets would be better off air drying.

Bilbo tried not to jump as a pair of arms wrapped around his waist. Slowly, he turned to face Thorin, blood racing. He leaned up to kiss him again. If the kiss before felt good, now it felt amazing. Skin pressed against skin, hands wandering everywhere.

The kisses became more and more desperate, panting and moaning filled the air. Bilbo didn’t know what to do with his hands, being everywhere at once was not an option. Thorin’s hands reached down to grip his butt, he felt them began to lift up. Assisting the process, Bilbo jumped up slightly, letting Thorin bring him all the way up and wrapping his legs tightly around his waist. It brought a new level to their friction, both groaning as Bilbo grinded downwards.

Their kisses became frantic and even more heated. Thorin removed his mouth from Bilbo’s and began kissing down his neck. Thorin sucked gently at his collarbone. Bilbo squirmed and bit his lip trying to fight back the whines wanting to escape.

“Bedroom,” Thorin huffed.

“Just across the hall.”

Thorin tightened his grip on Bilbo’s waist and carried him out of the laundry room. Bilbo wrapped his arms around Thorin’s neck, tucking his head against the other man’s. His mind was rushing with so many thoughts, it was wonderful and terrifying all at once, just like the ice covered park.

They managed to get to the bedroom with minimal bumps or trips. Thorin’s foot snagged the carpet as they stepped into his room and Bilbo laughed heartily, holding onto Thorin for dear life. Thorin laid him down on his bed, bouncing a little as he hit it. Carefully, he draped his body over Bilbo’s, pushing himself up on his hands and knees. Bilbo’s face ached pleasantly from kissing and smiling brightly at the man on top of him.

Thorin returned that smile, this time not just a small smile, but a big, happy one, with teeth and it took up his whole face and filled his blue eyes with a sparkling happiness. All Bilbo could think about was how beautiful he looked.

“You’re so gorgeous,” Thorin kissed his lips, “Beautiful, amazing, wonderful.”

Each word he kissed a different place on Bilbo’s face, he blushed deeply and could only find it in himself to laugh gently. Bilbo ran a hand through his beard and hair, enjoying the feeling of it under his fingers.

The sounds of strong rain and wind filled the air. While the storm raged outside, inside Bilbo never felt safer.

The sixth day, the rain was quiet and the sound of deep breathing next to him was soothing. He shifted to look at his alarm clock, 3:49 a.m., he sighed happily. It was late, but he couldn’t fall asleep.

Bilbo turned back around and was surprised to see Thorin was awake as well. They were laying face to face, both smiling softly. Thorin lifted a hand from under the comforter and ran it through Bilbo’s, more than likely completely messy, hair. Bilbo just closed his eyes and relaxed under his gentle touch.

“How are you feeling,” Thorin murmured.

“Mmm, pretty good.”

“Only pretty good?”

Bilbo chuckled and shuffled closer to Thorin, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.

“Can I tell you something?”

It was a rather serious statement on Bilbo’s part, he didn’t know if he was ready for this but everything was telling him it was right. Thorin should know, at least before, whatever this was, moved forward.

“Yeah, yeah,” Thorin shifted, apparently noticing Bilbo’s change in demeanor, “What is it?”

“So, well, I’m sure you’ve either noticed, or maybe Gandalf has said something to you about it. But I want you to hear from me, so you can make your own decision. But, um, I told you that my parents died when, when I was younger, but it was hard, as you might imagine,” Bilbo had to pause, outside of therapists, he’d never told anyone this story, because people like Hamfast, Prim, and Gandalf already knew, so this was a big step for him, “They didn’t die of natural causes or anything of that sort, but they, um, they were killed, shot actually. Right in front of me, that’s why your fight with Azog affected me so much, because.”

He could feel tears running down his face, Bilbo didn’t realize he was crying, it had been so long. Thorin’s eyes were wide and full of so many conflicting emotions. Dark thoughts sat in his mind, why pressure him, why put this on him, you don’t deserve him? Bilbo wiped his eyes feebly before he continued.

“I saw everything, I was lucky to escape with my life. Many therapists, over many years, they said depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and anxiety disorders. There was a whole list of things, I’m not even sure I knew it myself,” Bilbo was talking barely above a whisper. “And I, I don’t mean to pressure you or anything. I just wanted.”

Thorin kissed him gently and fiercely all at once, it was the most exhilarating feeling in the world. Bilbo still had tears running down his face, his breath was probably horrid at this point, but neither of them seemed to care.

“There’s no pressure, I promise, I’m glad you told me,” Thorin was taking deep breaths, “You’re so beautiful.”

The next time he looked at the clock it read 8:24 a.m. They had fallen back asleep after a while, just holding each other. Bilbo felt so at peace, for the first time he could ever remember. Thorin was still asleep, so Bilbo pushed the covers back and snuck out of bed. He first stopped at the bathroom, then the kitchen so he could make some tea.

It was the sixth day straight of frozen rain, but Bilbo couldn’t say that he honestly minded. He poured the boiling water into two mugs, he had no clue if Thorin liked tea, such a trivial fact yet he felt bad for not knowing. As he took his first sip of hot tea, a pair of arms wrapped around his waist.

“Hmm, did I wake you?”

“No, I never sleep in.”

“Would you like some tea?”

“Well green wouldn’t be my first choice, but sure,” Thorin chuckled, placing a kiss on his cheek.

Thorin stepped back and took the mug that Bilbo offered him.

“How many days is this now,” he sipped his tea, looking out the window.

“Six, I believe.”

Thorin harrumphed in agreement. Six days of rain was way too much, if he should say so himself.

“So, I was thinking maybe we should spend the day inside, it being my last day and all.”

“About that. Where will you be going? Will I ever get to see you again?”

“I must return to my home in Erebor, but,” Thorin lifted Bilbo’s head with a light grip on his chin, “I will return to you, I promise you that. As much as I wish it so, I cannot just leave my life behind there.”

“I understand, I couldn’t ask such a thing in the first place,” Bilbo fought back every urge to pout or distance himself.

“Let’s enjoy this time while we have it, okay,” Thorin kissed him gently.

And enjoy Bilbo did. They ignored the heavy rain outside and only spent time in each other’s company. It would be a day that Bilbo would treasure forever.

The seventh day, Bilbo woke, surprisingly, to sunlight pouring through his bedroom window. There was no sound but his own breathing and the ticking of a clock. His chest ached at the first thought that entered his mind that morning. Thorin was gone. Quickly, he pushed it down, there was no time for that. Yes, it would be tough without him near, there would be good days and bad days, but he would come back, of that Bilbo was sure.

The first thing he noticed as he entered the kitchen was a piece of paper laying on the counter near the window. Sunlight illuminated it, making the white paper even brighter. Bilbo picked it up and began reading.

            ‘Dear Bilbo Baggins,

            I know we’ve only known each other for a few days, but I feel as if I’ve known you all my life. I imagine you’re now laughing at how cheesy that entire sentence was (Bilbo was), but truly I could find no other words to explain how I feel about you. As I promised before, I will return to you. I must return to Erebor to settle my ties, and in due time, we will find each other again. But until then, keep my love with you.

                                                                                                            Yours always,

                                                                                                                        Thorin Oakenshield’

Bilbo smiled sadly down at the simple letter in his hands. It was written on plain lined paper, in pencil, scratched hastily, and yet it held more meaning to Bilbo than anything ever had before. He would wait for Thorin, whether it took days or weeks or months, he would wait. Because for the first time in a long time Bilbo had found purpose in his life. And after all, coal couldn’t become a diamond without a little pressure.