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Kiryu smashed his fist into Majima’s mouth with a sickening crack, knocking Majima on his ass. He collapsed backwards to the ground but when he didn’t make a move to get up, Kiryu cautiously approached. He was slightly worried by Majima’s stillness. He hoped he hadn’t gone too far. When he got close enough to see Majima’s face, he rolled his eyes. Majima was staring up at the night sky with a red-toothed grin plastered on his face.
Kiryu leaned over into his eyeline but instantly regretted his decision to get too close. The Mad Dog flipped back onto his feet so quick that Kiryu’s eyes hadn’t registered. He was on his back being pinned by Majima before he could even react. They struggled, trying to overpower each other. They both managed a few jabs here and there but mostly it was just sloppy wrestling at this point. They were both out of breath and knew the fight was almost over. Kiryu would go for as long as Majima wanted but he could tell it was winding down. Still, he wanted Majima to enjoy himself so Kiryu grabbed him by the throat and flipped him over, pressing his weight into the lanky man.
Majima thrashed, heaving at Kiryu’s immovable form but he wasn’t strong enough. In his frustration, Majima turned and sank his teeth into Kiryu’s forearm, making Kiryu hiss. It was enough to bring Majima to his senses and he released him.
“Sorry… I… forget to keep a tighter hold on my leash around ya. Mad Dog’s always beggin’ fer a taste.” Majima grinned stupidly.
Kiryu rolled his eyes as he pushed back off Majima. He’d been lucky they hadn’t stripped before the fight or the bite might have broken the skin. As far as he could feel, it would just bruise.
“Next time, warn me that you’re hungry before we fight.” Kiryu snorted. “Did you have fun?”
“Sure did!”
Kiryu knew him enough by now to know that Majima’s idea of a good time was worlds apart from the norm. A fight was the only thing he’d requested on this day and Kiryu couldn’t exactly deny one of his oldest friends his only wish. There was something in the back of his mind that made him think it wasn’t truly his only wish but Majima had never, ever been direct.
It frustrated Kiryu. He wasn’t exactly adept at taking hints so as much as Kiryu got the feeling there was more to his words and the looks Majima gave him, he wasn’t completely sure. Majima flirted with him, he teased him and enjoyed making Kiryu feel awkward. There was no doubt about that but there was a small part of Kiryu that had always wondered if it really was all in jest or whether there was a deeper meaning. A small part of him that had grown over the years of their developing friendship.
Kiryu was pretty shy when it came to stuff like that. If only Majima would just give him a real sign, not his usual hints or taunting, then Kiryu would be a lot more confident with whether he should act or not. Kiryu couldn’t really recall when he’d realised that he liked Majima but after such a long time of feeling that way, he had made peace with it.
At first, he was sure that Majima would never return his feelings so he’d tried his hardest to get it out of his mind. Of course, that hadn’t happened. Majima hadn’t made it easy, especially with all of his flirting, his suggestive teasing. After so many years, Kiryu felt a sense of acceptance with their situation. He wasn’t really sure how to classify his relationship with Majima, a friendship, a rivalry, whatever it was, it wasn’t normal.
Although he’d never told anyone directly that he was in love with Majima, he wondered if anyone suspected. If they did, they were probably terrified to bring it up for fear of pissing off the infamous Dragon of Dojima. Sometimes he wished someone would, so that he’d have to face it and deal with it. Surely it would be better than stupidly longing for something that probably wouldn’t ever happen.
Deep down, he knew that no matter what, he’d always love Majima, even if nothing ever happened between them. There was just something special between them, whether Majima acknowledged it or not. They were cut from the same cloth. They stuck by their principles. They had each other’s backs. They trusted each other and if Kiryu was ever in trouble, Majima would always be the first person he’d turn to. He knew Majima felt the same way too.
He just wished he knew whether Majima felt the same when it came to being more than what they were. There had been more than a few times over the years where they’d ended up in weird situations. Kiryu recalled a time when they’d been fighting and somehow they’d ended up face to face, staring at each other for way longer than was normal, so close that their lips were inches apart. Kiryu was sure that his heart had almost stopped beating.
In those moments, he felt like time froze. He remembered silently begging for Majima to close the gap and kiss him. It hadn’t happened. Instead, Majima drove his forehead into Kiryu’s nose and grinned wildly.
Instances like that left Kiryu feeling confused and frustrated with himself. He’d almost confessed to Majima a few times but he always backed out at the last second and changed the subject. He didn’t know if it was the fear of rejection and what would happen after, whether Majima would laugh at him or never want to see him again, but he held back.
He’d kept his feelings hidden for so long, the yearning was almost comforting. Though there were times when he felt restless, dysphoric, irritated. He’d ruminate on his feelings, Majima, their relationship. He’d been in one of those moods for the past week. A few days ago, when Nishida mentioned they were having a little get together at the Champion District, Kiryu didn’t have to think twice about it.
Kiryu reached out, offering his hand to Majima and surprisingly, Majima took it and let Kiryu pull him to his feet.
“Is that enough? You surely can’t want more?”
“I always want more…” Majima smirked darkly. “Suppose it’ll do fer now…”
Kiryu eyed him with question. There it was again, that tone, that suggestive smile. It was like a gut punch. He felt the urge to call him out and ask him exactly what he meant by that but he wouldn’t dare. He never dared.
Majima threw his arm around Kiryu’s shoulders and began pulling him back towards the entrance of Shellac.
“Come on Kiryu-Chan, I’ll buy ya a drink since ya kicked my ass so good…”
“No, niisan. You’re not buying drinks tonight. It’s against the rules.”
“Pfft. Whatever, but I’ll give ya a heads up, Kiryu-Chan, I ain’t a cheap date.”
“Oh really? Good to know.” Kiryu grinned.
“Why’s that? Ya wanna take me out?”
Kiryu’s attempt at playful flirting ran out of steam before he even started and he quickly realised he wasn’t cut out to play that game. He just couldn’t keep up with Majima, his inability to think of a witty retort killed his confidence and he was consumed by shyness. He opened his mouth but nothing came out, matching exactly what was going on in his brain.
Majima cackled as he watched Kiryu glow red with embarrassment but yanked him into Shellac before Kiryu could get angry.
They took their seats, noticing that their group was a little smaller than it had been before their fight. Only a few of Majima’s boys remained which was fine by Majima. He didn’t mind the company of other families but he preferred his own. He could only really relax and lower his guard around a few people. Some of his most trusted boys, and Kiryu.
He was feeling a little smug that Kiryu had joined them. He hadn’t even asked. Nishida had been the one to mention the little get together at the Champion District. Kiryu had politely accepted regardless of Majima’s dismissal. Majima had been sceptical. He’d brushed it off. He said it wasn’t important. He told Kiryu not to bother himself. He probably had better shit to do. He really hadn’t believed that Kiryu would show.
He’d been proven wrong when they’d arrived to find Kiryu already there. He’d even ordered a round of drinks and a couple of bottles for their table.
Majima felt his stomach flip at the gesture. It was thoughtful. Kind. He mustn’t have had much else to do. Still, he wouldn’t complain. Kiryu-Chan showed up. The booze was a nice touch but the most important thing was that Majima would get to stare at the Dragon all night. It had gotten even better when Kiryu agreed to a fight. Majima hadn’t really been serious. He’d been teasing just like always. He hadn’t expected that Kiryu would agree. This time, Kiryu shrugged his shoulders and said if that’s what Majima really wanted, then he couldn’t refuse.
It made Majima’s mouth water. He wickedly wondered what else Kiryu couldn’t refuse. He shoved the thought away as quickly as it slithered into his brain. Stupid. He couldn’t cut loose around Kiryu. He made a mental note to keep track of his drinks. The last thing he needed was to let slip something he couldn’t take back. He couldn’t push his luck. He never really had. He’d skirted around it for the longest time. He’d flirted. He’d made it pretty obvious. Kiryu never took the bait.
Majima felt like he’d done everything he possibly could to make his interest known without just coming out and explicitly telling Kiryu. He didn’t want to put Kiryu in an awkward position. Majima couldn’t do that to him. Or himself. He couldn’t afford to push him away. To lose him. Something inside of him told him that Kiryu wouldn’t ever consider someone like Majima. He wasn’t good enough. Even if Kiryu was interested in guys, Majima wouldn’t ever be that guy. As much as he yearned, a part of him didn’t want to know. He wanted to remain ignorant to protect himself from the agony of finality.
So, he’d just danced around it without being direct and nothing had ever come of that. He’d come to the conclusion that Kiryu purposely ignored it. Or maybe he just hadn’t picked up on Majima’s thinly veiled intentions. Whatever it was, Majima had tried his best to stop it. Well, as best he could. He still flirted. Just without that hope of it developing. He guessed he was just leaving it open, in the unlikely event that Kiryu ever realised…
Then what? He’d spent so much time daydreaming that he sometimes forgot about reality. They could never really be together. It wouldn’t work in their world. Regardless of the absurdity of Kiryu returning his feelings, practically, they just couldn’t be. Reality checks rarely helped. They couldn’t overpower Majima’s desire. Something he’d accepted. He was that type of person. To live in limerence. To obsess, to worship, to be consumed. Maybe it was his fate to exist just for another person’s flame to burn within his soul. There had been few. But Kiryu’s had burned the longest. And by far the brightest.
“Hmm. I don’t think so. At least, I can’t remember it.” Kiryu’s brows furrowed as he thought back. Majima forced himself to concentrate on the developing conversation, silencing his mind. Kiryu’s eyes suddenly widened and he began nodding frantically. “Once! When I’d just gotten out of prison. I was a little rusty. He said he’d help me regain my strength. So… he kicked my ass that time. I can’t recall a time after that when he-”
Majima caught on quickly to the fact that his boys were wondering about their fights and who won most of them.
“I kicked yer ass plenty o’ times, ya clown! What about that time at the batting centre? What about West Park?”
“West Park doesn’t count! Hannya man beat me. Not you.”
Majima grinned. “As much as I ‘ppreciate yer enthusiasm to play along… ya know fine well by now that I’m Hannya man.”
“Hmm… I dunno. I never saw his face. Could be… or maybe you’re just claiming his victory?”
Majima’s eye darkened. He liked Kiryu’s tone. He liked Kiryu’s teasing little way of baiting him. Majima ran his tongue tentatively along his bottom lip, catching the taste of sweet, top-shelf whiskey and sighed.
“Oh yeah sure. Ya had countless fights with me. Ya expect me to believe it only takes a mask to fool ya? Ya wanna ‘nother taste o’ me? Just tell me when, Kiryu-Chan.”
Kiryu turned to give Majima a pregnant stare. Almost like he was trying to work out if those words held the meaning that they promised. Majima stared back, almost daring Kiryu to acknowledge his carefully chosen words.
Kiryu exhaled slowly, pulling his usual poker-face back on. He allowed the surge of excitement within him to subside before his eyes flashed up to meet Majima’s. “Fine. Not tonight though. But you’re on. Bring the mask… maybe you’ll get lucky.”
Majima swallowed hard. Fuck, was Kiryu trying to flirt with him? It wasn’t so much what he said, but how he said it. It was those eyes. They penetrated him so intensely. That teasing tone that held a weight only he could sense. He found himself reeling. Wondering.
Majima’s mind was filled with tantalising thoughts. Thoughts of him getting lucky. Thoughts of vicious fists, blood, bruises and sweat covered flesh. Wet lips and hot breath. Hands wandering. Feeling his hard…
“Enough.” Majima growled and shook his head, trying to rid himself of the thoughts that made his pants way too tight. Those bittersweet thoughts that made his heart hurt late at night when he was all alone. Those nights where he wanted Kiryu so much that his skin tingled, his fingertips ached. His tongue could practically taste. Sheer agony.
“Are… are you alrigh-?”
“Pfft. Yeah. Shut the fuck up. Drink up!”
Kiryu scowled at Majima. He wasn’t surprised by Majima’s moods and odd behaviour. He’d known him for long enough to have seen it all. It wasn’t that. There was something else that gave Kiryu pause. Majima seemed preoccupied and a little awkward. If Kiryu didn’t know better, Majima felt shy. That couldn’t be the case though. Majima was the least shy person Kiryu had ever met.
Kiryu wondered if his little attempt at flirting had thrown Majima. He’d never tried it before but he had been obsessing over his feelings recently so maybe that had given him courage. No wonder Majima got such a rush from making Kiryu squirm. To see that you have an effect on someone was pretty exciting. It made Kiryu want to see more. To play him at his own game. Maybe he could finally work out whether Majima actually felt something or not. Maybe he’d just end up confusing himself more than before.
“So, what’s the worst thing he’s done to ya in a fight?”
Kiryu rubbed a hand over his chin as he thought. “He left his blade sticking out of my shoulder once. Wouldn’t let up for a second so I had to keep fighting him with that thing still in me.”
“Haw?” Majima frowned.
“It was that night on the docks. Remember? We were following that guy we thought was Omi?”
“Pfft. Nah that weren’t then.” Majima turned, grabbed the collar of Kiryu’s shirt and yanked it open, revealing his right shoulder.
“See?” Majima jabbed at the thin scar on Kiryu’s shoulder. “That’s the time he were talkin’ about with my blade. It was at the warehouse when we were spyin’ on Kameya.”
The Majima family boys all leaned forward, interested to see the scars and the stories that went with them.
Majima turned his attention back to Kiryu. He pulled the material of his shirt to the other side, revealing his left shoulder. “That one there’s from the time at the docks.”
“You have a good memory.” Kiryu grinned through his dishevelled state, staring intently into Majima’s eye. Majima stared back in shock then swallowed hard. He remembered himself and let go of Kiryu’s shirt.
“Too fuckin’ right. That was the night he gave me this.” Majima shrugged off his jacket then thrust his elbow towards his men. “See that?” He jabbed his gloved fingertip at the inside of his elbow to a jagged scar. “Threw an old metal drum at me! Musta flew twenty feet before it hit me.”
Majima snatched his glass and took a slug. Kiryu watched him deflate a little. Something was definitely off. The way he’d suddenly let go of Kiryu. The way he’d gotten louder and more animated to cover his awkwardness. He might be able to fool his boys, but not Kiryu. Kiryu had seen this play out so many times.
This was exactly the reason why Kiryu found it hard to figure out whether there was something there between them or not. Majima was the type to flirt and be silly with everyone. And it didn’t stop. Sometimes with Kiryu, Majima would suddenly change and become almost sullen. He’d avoid eye contact, change the subject, then he’d either overact and draw attention to himself or he’d get prickly and they’d inevitably end up fighting in some alley.
His attempt at flirting had clearly unnerved Majima and he wanted to see what would happen. He decided to push a little more. Just to see how Majima would respond.
“Seems like you know my body better than I do. Do you really remember every scar you’ve given me?”
Majima’s eye darted away. “All of them.”
His voice was barely audible. Nobody else heard his response but Kiryu did. Kiryu would’ve heard it over a tsunami.
“What’s your favourite?”
“My favourite scar?” Kiryu frowned.
“Yeah. On the boss. What’s yer favourite one that ya gave him.”
Kiryu snorted. He was used to the questions and the interest. Usually when he sat with family men he’d have to field questions like he was some sort of celebrity. Sometimes it was like being interviewed with a side of drinks. He understood the intrigue around him though so he didn’t hold it against them. He knew they were curious. He knew that they admired him because of his reputation.
“Hmm…” Kiryu didn’t really like the scars he gave Majima. They were just a by-product of the complicated relationship they had. If he thought hard about it, he’d start feeling guilty so usually he didn’t think about it at all.
“I dunno if it counts but…” Kiryu hesitated before he placed a hand on Majima’s shoulder and shoved him back from his hunched over position. He cocked an eyebrow at Kiryu but rested back, wondering what he was going to do. They usually weren’t handsy with each other outside of fighting but Majima had started it. Tonight, Kiryu wanted to push back more than he ever had. He didn’t really know what he was doing but he felt compelled to play the game he’d always felt too out of his depth to play.
“That one.” Kiryu reached over and traced his fingertip lightly over the silver scar on Majima’s stomach. He involuntarily raked his teeth over his bottom lip before he turned back to his drink, leaving Majima to look down to where Kiryu had just touched him.
After Kiryu swallowed the rest of his whiskey, he looked up to the faces that were clearly eager to hear the story.
“I didn’t give him that one… but he got it because of me. Sort of counts.”
“What happened?” A voice called out.
“That was way back when. A fuckin’ lifetime ago.” Majima grinned.
“He jumped in front of a blade for me. Said that he was the only one who was allowed to kill me.”
“And I still am.” Majima beamed proudly.
“Although I’m still breathing so I think he changed his mind.” Kiryu teased.
“Where else would I get a good fight? Shit’s hard to come by.”
Kiryu shot him a scowl before he turned back to the group. “It was at the batting centre. I’d already beaten him but one of his boys tried to get payback. I didn’t expect him to throw himself in front of me like that. It was one of the nicest things he did for me. Confusing as hell but… sweet.”
“Pfft. Sweet.” Majima scrunched his face up and rubbed at the back of his neck before he remembered there was booze. He snatched his glass and downed the rest of his drink in one.
“What about you, boss? What’s your favourite one on him?”
“I don’t got favourites. I like them all.”
Kiryu pressed his lips together. “You really remember every single scar you gave me?”
“Yep. Every scar. Every fight.” Majima uttered quietly before he turned his attention to the group. “Ya learn a lot about a man from how he fights. How he feels. How he reacts. What’s important to him. What’s eatin’ him. What distracts him. What he’s fightin’ for.” Majima said smugly. “I can practically read yer mind by now, Kiryu-Chan.”
Kiryu scowled at him. His focus faltered a little when Nishida muttered that he was going outside to smoke but he kept his eyes on Majima.
“If that were true… then you’d know you can let go of that leash anytime you want to around me.”
With that, Kiryu got up and began following Nishida. He didn’t see Majima’s shock. He didn’t wait to see his mouth open and his eye widen as the words penetrated.
He wasn’t sure if he should regret what he’d said and how he’d behaved but he really had been struggling lately. He’d finally realised that he needed to talk to someone. It had just gotten too much for him. He hadn’t really thought about what he was going to say. He wasn’t even sure if he’d say anything but something was compelling him forward. He’d felt a heavy weight in his stomach all night. He didn’t know what he was doing but an uneasy desperation nagged at him.
Maybe it would be easier to talk to a neutral party. Nishida was safe and nice. He was an honourable man. He wouldn’t repeat what Kiryu said. It would surely be easier than trying to talk to Majima about it. He’d probably chicken out and keep his mouth shut. He’d let his curiosity push him to the brink and then lose his nerve like he had so many other times before.
Nerves swirled in his stomach but he lit his cigarette casually. He felt strung out and unsure, especially when he saw Nishida eyeing him with suspicion. Was he that obvious? He didn’t understand how people could sense the motivations in other people when not a single word had been spoken. Nishida had known him for many years. He guessed it had been enough for Nishida to get to know him and pick up on his tense vibes.
“Nishida? Uh… you’ve known Majima for a long time now, right?”
“Yeah… why?”
“Well… you know how he’s always… uh… saying weird things to me…?”
“Yeah… uh… you know what he’s like… you’ve known him for a long time too. He’s like that with everyone.”
“But…” Kiryu frowned. “But he isn’t like that with everyone. With me, well, he’s… it isn’t the same…”
“I… uh… well…” Nishida swallowed hard. He looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. He wasn’t sure what Kiryu wanted from him but he could guess where it was going and he really didn’t want to say something that would get him into trouble.
Kiryu cringed. “Can I trust you to keep this just between us?”
“Sure, Kiryu-San.” Nishida said slowly.
“I mean it, not even Majima. Promise?”
Nishida nodded reluctantly.
“Thanks.” Kiryu took a deep breath. “What do you think Majima feels about me?”
Nishida suspected it was going down this road and he really didn’t want to be in the middle of it. He wondered why now. The way Majima treated him wasn’t a new thing, he’d been that way for years, so why did Kiryu feel the need to question it now?
“Just your opinion. I promise it goes no further.” Kiryu tried to reassure him. “It’s just that he… I think he flirts with me and… I wondered if… well… do you think he might…”
Kiryu’s mouth was suddenly dry, his head felt light and he noticed that his hand trembled as he brought his cigarette to his lips. He could make some kind of excuse, change the subject or he could just be brave and face it for the first time in his life. It didn’t have to change anything. Nishida promised him it would go no further. It wasn’t like he was confessing his own feelings; he was just asking about Majima’s.
“I dunno… do you think he might like me?”
Nishida stared at Kiryu for a few seconds with a blank expression. He wasn’t sure if Kiryu was pranking him but surely he couldn’t be serious. He was under the impression that Kiryu, along with everyone else who’d spent a minute in their presence, knew exactly what Majima felt for Kiryu. It was so obvious that he wanted Kiryu. His constant attention, the plots and schemes, the obsessing, how the hell could Kiryu not know?
When Nishida took in Kiryu’s expression, his sincerity, he realised that Kiryu was being dead serious. He really didn’t know. He was oblivious to Majima’s motives for his constant flirting and attention seeking. Nishida was often reminded of a schoolkid pulling the pigtails of the girl he liked because he couldn’t understand his feelings. To think that Kiryu had been unaware for all those years was astonishing. “I think… well… yes, I think he does.”
“Oh.” Kiryu blinked.
“But… but it’s alright. It doesn’t change anything. Just… ignore it. I mean, yes, I think he likes you. I think it’s pretty obvious to a lot of people but… it isn’t like he’s going to do anything about it. He would have said something by now, right?” Nishida chuckled nervously, rubbing at the back of his neck. “He knows he can’t… he knows you wouldn’t… he… he…”
“Calm down, please.” Kiryu told him quietly. Nishida’s chattering wasn’t helpful and Kiryu’s brain was about to explode. He could feel his heart beating hard, he could hear his own breathing but he couldn’t process what was said.
“Please don’t say anything to him. He knows you don’t feel…” Nishida whined. “He would murder me if he found out-”
“Has he ever said it? Has he ever told you?”
“No. Not directly. But… it’s pretty obvious, Kiryu-San.”
Kiryu nodded. He’d often thought that Majima might feel something more but he always talked himself out of it. He’d always second guessed himself. He told himself that Majima acted that way with everyone, but he knew deep down that Majima was different with him. To have it confirmed was jarring and confusing but so very exciting.
“Why hasn’t he ever told me? Why not just come out and say something?”
“Probably out of fear of it damaging your friendship? He doesn’t want you to feel weird around him? I dunno. Who can tell when it comes to him? He’s hard to follow. He probably doesn’t think that you’d be thrilled by the idea of him… thinking of you in that way…”
“I see…”
“Please don’t say anything. It doesn’t have to be an issue. You can just pretend that you don’t know… I mean, I thought you did know but… just… I don’t think it would be a good idea to mention anything to him.”
“Even if… even…” Kiryu squeezed his eyes shut and turned, facing away from Nishida. “Even if I might feel the same?”
Nishida’s mouth dropped open as he stared at Kiryu’s back. The silence made him tense his shoulders. He felt irrationally angry and embarrassed. Panic made him spin around to see Nishida’s reaction.
“Don’t you dare say anything! You said you wouldn’t and I-”
“You… you like him back?”
Kiryu huffed. “Maybe.” His face scrunched up and he let out a relenting sigh. There was no point in trying to backtrack now. At least he was pretty certain Nishida could be trusted. It was the reason he’d approached him and not anyone else. “Yes. Don’t tell anyone, alright? I just… I sometimes had the feeling that he felt the same and then other times I wasn’t sure… anyway, it’s been such a long time… I dunno if I should have said something sooner or… I just… I didn’t know.”
Nishida blinked through the shock and nodded slowly. His mind raced as he tried to come to terms with this new information. He wished he’d picked up on it himself. Maybe he could have given them both the nudge they’d obviously needed.
“Kiryu-San… are you… are you going to tell him?”
“I dunno. It probably isn’t a good idea. I mean… I want to… but he might not feel the same as-”
“He does. I promise, he does.” Nishida confirmed confidently but it was quickly replaced with doubt as fear jabbed at his stomach. His mind was suddenly full of questions.
“Are you serious?”
Kiryu frowned, caught off guard by Nishida’s sudden change. “What do you mean?”
“Serious about him? You’re sure you feel…”
“Yes.” Kiryu nodded but when he saw Nishida narrow his eyes at him he realised he’d have to give more than a simple answer. It wasn’t exactly easy to be this open but he’d started it.
“I’ve felt this way for a long time. Too long.”
Nishida swallowed. “It’s just… if you tell him… you can’t change your mind. You have to be sure. He… he… isn’t as… uh… uncaring as he seems… I don’t want to see him… well…”
Kiryu’s shoulders dropped as he finally understood what Nishida seemed worried about. He was trying to look out for Majima. He thought Majima would be hurt if Kiryu confessed then changed his mind. It wouldn’t happen but to think that Majima would care enough to be affected by him left him breathless.
“I know. I am serious. You don’t have to worry. It’s not just a stupid crush… and I wouldn’t do that to him. I… couldn’t.”
Nishida’s mouth spread into a grin. “Well… as long as you’re sure… I think you should tell him. I think it would make him very happy.”
“But are you sure? You know what he’s like. I’m worried he’ll brush me off or laugh in my face or… something.”
Nishida’s brow furrowed for a second before his eyes lit up and a smile spread on his face, making Kiryu feel wary. It had clearly gone on too long. The fear of facing this was very real to both of them. Maybe he could give them that nudge after all.
“Give me your keys.”
“Huh? Why?”
“Just give them to me!”
Kiryu frowned in confusion but jammed his hand into his pocket and felt around. He produced a keyring with a couple of keys on it and offered them to Nishida. He snatched them and jammed them into his own pocket, then smirked pure mischief at Kiryu. It was a little unnerving; he hadn’t ever seen such an expression on his face before but he guessed he’d learned a lot from working so closely with Majima for all those years.
“What are you doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“My keys. Why did you need my keys?”
“What keys?” Nishida shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Kiryu stared at him like he’d gone mad. “Nishida… you just took my keys. I thought you were going somewhere with this… I don’t understand…”
“You must have lost them. I guess you’ll have to crash at Majima’s apartment tonight.” Nishida shrugged.
Kiryu’s eyes widened. “Oh… no… Nishida… I don’t think that’s such a good-”
“I think it’s a perfect idea. It’s what you both need. You’ll have a chance to spend some time together in private and you’ll be able to talk to him.”
Nishida didn’t wait for a response, he turned on his heel and hurried back through into the bar, leaving Kiryu to stare after him in horror. He felt his heart beating faster and his legs seemed to want to take him far away but he just stood frozen as his mind went blank. This surely couldn’t be happening.
He was a little apprehensive about going back in. He was sure that he wasn’t going to be able to fool anyone. He wasn’t a good liar and Majima would pick up on it in a heartbeat. There was no way that he could pretend to have lost his keys. There was no way that he was going to pretend that conversation with Nishida hadn’t just happened. There was definitely no way he could pretend that he didn’t know about Majima’s feelings.
Now that he had confirmation from Nishida that his suspicions had been correct, his mind seemed to pluck memories from the recesses of his brain and play them out. He revisited the many times that it had been so obvious that there was indeed something between them. Why the fuck had he been so scared? Why had he been so blind?
He awkwardly made his way back to their little group and was greeted by the sight of Nishida crouched under the table as the other guys peered around, feigning effort but not really interested in looking.
“He said he must’ve dropped them… can you guys see anything?” He heard Nishida call out from under the table. When he neared his chair, Nishida stood up and gave him a knowing look before he shook his head solemnly.
“Sorry Kiryu-San. I can’t see them. Maybe you dropped them outside or something? Anyway, it’s too dark now… pointless looking tonight. I’m sure the boss would let you crash at his place for the night, right boss?”
Majima glanced up at Nishida and scowled. “Huh? My place? Why my place?”
Kiryu saw Majima’s scowl and let rejection dampen his previous excitement. He pulled a neutral expression on his face and tensed his shoulders. “Oh no, that isn’t-”
“You know him the best and you have a spare room. It makes sense.”
Majima pouted before he rolled his eye. “Fine. Whatever. No funny business though, Kiryu-Chan. Ya’ll haveta buy me dinner before I let ya have yer way with me…”
Kiryu swallowed hard. “I… uh… no… I wouldn’t… uh…”
Majima cracked up as Kiryu flung himself down in his chair and glared his irritation at him, then at Nishida. He wanted to be in control of how he was going to do things. If he was going to confess his feelings or make a move, he wanted it to be on his terms, in his own way. And Majima didn’t exactly seem thrilled. At least the commotion Nishida created seemed to distract Majima from Kiryu’s little comment before he left the bar. He either didn’t remember it or it hadn’t been as provoking as Kiryu thought it sounded. Regardless, he felt tense. Everything felt a little chaotic and rushed.
There was a small part of him that acknowledged that he’d wanted Majima for so long, he couldn’t exactly claim it felt rushed. He probably did need a little shove if he was ever going to face up to how he felt. He knew that it was going to be very difficult, it wasn’t easy to talk to Majima. It was rare that he’d catch Majima in a mood where he could talk about something seriously and even if Nishida was right and Majima felt the same, he might just laugh it off anyway.
How the hell do you confess your feelings? How do you try to explain that for years, you’ve been in love with a sort-of friend, sort-of enemy yakuza patriarch who you spend most of your time fighting with? How do you try to change things after so long? Even if Majima did feel the same, that wasn’t a guarantee that he wouldn’t reject Kiryu. He might have resigned himself to the idea that they’d never be anything more than what they were. Maybe the practicality of the situation would outweigh everything and it would end up in vain.
As the night went on, he made sure to pace himself so he wasn’t drunk, the last thing he needed was Majima assuming he was just wasted. He wanted to make sure he actually made sense if he was to try explaining his feelings. As much as he tried to think, he couldn’t settle on a way to broach the subject with Majima and his mind conjured scenarios of Majima reacting badly.
He wasn’t sure if he could actually tell him. What if Majima laughed at him? What if he was furious? What if he really didn’t feel the same and he just felt pity for Kiryu? Maybe he shouldn’t even try. Maybe he could be okay with living without a definitive answer. Maybe only the excitement of possibility was enough for him.
At closing time, the small group of yakuza stumbled out of the bar into the still night. Nobody was wasted but they were merry. And starving to death apparently. As they made their way to the main street, they bickered about where was still open and who wanted what. It didn’t take them long to settle on ramen.
“Do you want to go with them and get food before we head back to your place?” Kiryu asked Majima.
Majima’s brow furrowed as he thought but he shook his head. “Nah. I ain’t in the mood fer ramen. Let’s just head back.”
“You sure?”
“Yep.”
“Guys? We’re going to head back. It’s been fun. Thanks for inviting me.” Kiryu bowed politely.
“Don’t worry about your keys, Kiryu-San! I’m sure they’ll be safe and sound!” Nishida grinned before making the ‘call me’ gesture.
Kiryu smiled as he watched the rest of the Majima family stagger down the street towards Kyushu for their ramen fix.
“Ya comin’ or what?” Majima shot before he turned.
Kiryu didn’t give him a chance to take a step before he grabbed Majima and spun him around. He flung his arm around him and began pulling him in the opposite direction.
“What the fuck? Whaddaya doin’, Kiryu-Chan?”
“Little pit-stop before your place. Shut up and do as you’re told.”
Majima opened his mouth to complain but instead he decided to shut up and see where this was going. He pressed his lips together to hide the little smirk on his mouth at the feeling of Kiryu’s arm around his shoulders.
After a few minutes, Majima lit a cigarette to try to ease the weird tension in his stomach. He didn’t know where it had come from but the further they walked in silence the more intense it felt. Kiryu was a quiet man but not usually this quiet. He wondered if something was bothering him. He didn’t know whether he should ask so he just focused on his smoke. Until Kiryu stopped abruptly and Majima finally understood what was going on.
“Smile Burger?” Majima grinned. “Kiryu-Chan… ya didn’t haveta come back all this way just for Smile Burger.”
“You only said ‘no’ to food because I’m staying over at your place. You didn’t want to go out of our way for it, right? But you’re hungry. I figured it out when you tried to take a bite out of my arm.” Kiryu snorted before he pulled open the door to the fast-food restaurant.
“Hold up, I’m still smokin’!”
“Just wait there then. I’ll order for you.” Kiryu told him over his shoulder as he made his way inside.
Majima sighed as he eyed his cigarette. He could stub it out and hurry after him but when he looked through the window, Kiryu was already ordering. He rolled his eye and turned away, leaning against the window as he finished his smoke.
After a few minutes, Kiryu came out holding a couple of paper bags.
“Nice o’ ya… but ya don’t know what I get! I like my burger-”
“Cheeseburger set. Sauce on the side for dipping… not on the burger. No tomatoes. You do like them; you just don’t like how they make the bun soggy. Extra pickles… and cheese on the top and bottom. Double fries and a chocolate milkshake?”
Majima opened his mouth but nothing came out. He blinked a couple of times before he grinned at Kiryu. “Well shut my fuckin’ mouth. I didn’t know ya knew me so well.”
“Well… I might not claim to be able to read your mind but I’ve known you long enough to know about your soft spot for Smile Burger.”
Majima tore into his bag excitedly as Kiryu watched on. He felt pleased with himself. He might not know every single scar on Majima’s body, but he knew the little things. They ate in comfortable silence on the way back to Majima’s apartment. Well almost. Kiryu was still trying to work out if he was going to be brave enough to broach the subject of their feelings and what he would say if he did. He was still at a loss by the time they arrived back.
Kiryu was tense but excited. He liked being in Majima’s space. He’d been to Majima’s apartment a handful of times over the years but this time felt different. Majima scowled at him as they settled on the sofa to smoke a cigarette. Even he could tell that Kiryu was acting strangely, probably coming across a little stiff and nervous.
“Ya alright? Ya seem-”
“Did you have a good day?”
Majima frowned at him for a couple of seconds before he nodded slowly. “Yeah. Ain’t usually one fer doin’ much… but if it means I got to throw down with ya, I’m gonna chalk it up to a good one.”
“I’m glad you had fun.” Kiryu smiled. He had a thought. He’d made sure to pace himself but he wanted to make sure that if he was going to try and tell Majima how he felt, he didn’t want him to be drunk either. He didn’t seem drunk but he couldn’t ever tell when it came to Majima.
“Are you drunk?”
“Huh? Me? No. Why?”
“No reason… I just wondered if you’d drank a lot…”
“Nah… I can handle my shit, Kiryu-Chan…” Majima told him.
Kiryu nodded but didn’t say anything more. He was choked by the nerves coiling in his stomach and couldn’t make his brain work. He couldn’t seem to make his feelings form into words and he just stared at Majima with a stunned expression on his face. The silence hung heavily in the air and Majima shot Kiryu a strange look before he stubbed his cigarette out in his ashtray.
“Ya know where the bedroom is. Spare toothbrushes and shit are under the sink.”
He stood and made his way out of the living room, leaving Kiryu staring at the empty doorway which he’d disappeared through. Relief flowed through Kiryu and his shoulders sagged but irritation smacked him in the face. He was a coward and he’d chickened out yet again. Maybe it was too soon. He’d only just found out that his feelings might be reciprocated after all. He should probably sit with it for a while and let it all sink in.
He heard Majima moving around in the bathroom and then he heard him make his way to his bedroom. He guessed he’d missed his chance. Now that the decision had been made for him, now that he hadn’t taken the opportunity, he felt regretful. Why did he have to get so nervous? Why was it so hard to just be honest and tell him how he felt? Kiryu sighed heavily before he made his way to the bathroom. He was completely stuck in his head as he went through his nightly routine and when he found himself in Majima’s spare room, the disappointment finally hit him.
He took off his clothes but left his boxers on and climbed into bed. But he couldn’t sleep. Memories of them from the past assaulted his brain but he saw them in a new light. Knowing that Majima could feel the same as him made him look at everything between them differently and suddenly everything made a lot more sense to him.
He thought back to how long this weird back and forth had been going on and realised how much time they’d wasted by hesitating. Even now, Majima was convinced that Kiryu didn’t feel the same. If what Nishida said was true, he’d never try to tell him. It was going to have to be Kiryu. If they were ever going to be more, Kiryu was going to have to be the one to change things. He was going to have to be brave.
He thought about kissing Majima and coupled with being in his apartment, surrounded by his things and his scent, Kiryu suddenly felt a little emotional. The amount of time he’d spent fantasising about Majima and the things he wanted to do with him was a little embarrassing and a little sad. So much time lost because of fear.
Something in him snapped in that moment and he found himself throwing off the covers and getting to his feet. He was nervous, but he couldn’t let that hold him back any longer. Enough was enough. He crept out of the guest bedroom and made his way quietly to Majima’s room. His door was open a little, enough for Kiryu to see him starfished on his bed, snoring lightly. It made Kiryu smile.
He pushed the door open, trying to breathe through his nerves, ignoring the voice in his head screaming at him to turn around and go back to bed. He pushed through the fear he felt, although it was still very much there, making him tremble.
He stood over Majima for a minute, staring at him. He’d never seen him like that before, and he took the opportunity to admire how perfect and handsome he was. He let himself be overwhelmed with love. He let himself feel everything he’d tried to control, to stop, he let himself feel it all. His eyes flooded with tears, his heart ached and he found himself bending over until his face was hovering over Majima’s.
He took a shaky breath and gently placed his lips on Majima’s and to his surprise, Majima’s mouth automatically responded, kissing him back. He jumped and his eye flew open, making Kiryu pull back sharply.
“What the fuck?” Majima shot. “Did ya just kiss me?”
Kiryu took a deep breath and nodded. “I’m sorry. I wanted to talk to you but you went to bed and I was disappointed…”
“So ya thought ya’d wake me up with yer lips? Are ya outta yer fuckin’ mind?”
“You… uh… this isn’t going the way it did in my head.” Kiryu cringed. “I… wanted to talk about how you felt…”
Majima rubbed a hand over his face before he pushed himself up to sitting and Kiryu sat down on the edge of his bed.
“I’m sorry, alright? I just… think… no… I know… I definitely know that there’s something between us. Tell me I’m wrong.”
“…”
“Majima… don’t you dare sit there and say nothing. I fucking… kissed you!”
“I’m half a-fuckin’-sleep and yeah, I fuckin’ noticed.” Majima groaned before he flung the covers off him and shuffled to the edge of the bed next to Kiryu. They sat side by side in silence for a minute before Majima turned to him.
“Alright. Wanna smoke before we do this shit?”
“Do what shit?”
“Ya wanna do the talk don’tcha? That’s what this is all about. Thought it woulda come sooner… nah, to be honest I stopped thinkin’ it would ever come…”
“If you’d been expecting it, why didn’t you take the initiative and talk to me?”
“Smoke first. And whiskey.” Majima exhaled a breath before he pushed himself to his feet and left his bedroom.
Kiryu didn’t know how to feel. He felt a little torn. A part of him was nervous for what was to come but another part felt an odd sense of peace at the fact that he’d faced his fears. The cat was well and truly out of the bag. That was surely the hardest part, right? He’d done it. Well, not properly but the conversation was going to happen. He still felt a little shaken up by the abysmal attempt to confess his feelings but he’d at least made that leap.
Eventually Majima returned to his bedroom. A bottle of whiskey was tucked under his arm. He also carried a pack of cigarettes in one hand and an ashtray in the other. He returned to his spot next to Kiryu, lit up a couple of cigarettes and then held one out.
Kiryu eyed it before he took it carefully from Majima.
“Thanks.”
Majima nodded, unscrewed the cap on the whiskey bottle and took a shot. He then offered it to Kiryu. Kiryu was just about to decline when he thought better of it. His stomach swirled with nerves, maybe the whiskey would help settle him a little. He still had no idea about what was going to happen.
Once Kiryu took a slug and handed Majima the bottle back, he couldn’t think of anything to say. Instead, he smoked quietly and stared at the floor. Majima did the same. Kiryu felt a little irritated. He’d done the hardest part and Majima wasn’t giving him anything. He didn’t know how Majima felt about any of it. What if Nishida had gotten it wrong?
After they stubbed out their cigarettes, Kiryu’s impatience got too much for him.
“So…”
“So?” Majima frowned.
“Are you going to say anything at all?”
“Whaddaya want me to say, Kiryu-Chan?”
“Really? Nothing? You have nothing to say about anything?”
Majima groaned. “Fuck! Ya know… in all the years I’ve thought about this shit… it didn’t go down like this. Well fuckin’ done. Ya managed to surprise me.”
“How did you imagine it going down?”
“Huh? Ahhh I dunno. Maybe I get drunk and say somethin’ stupid. Ya tell me to fuck off. The end.”
“It’s always you, huh? That’s why you’re so shocked?”
“I guess so.” Majima sighed before he turned to Kiryu. “One thing. Yer not fuckin’ with me, are ya?”
Kiryu shook his head. “No. Course I’m not. I think it might have gone better if I had been. Apparently, my moves aren’t that smooth.”
Majima snorted. “Fuck yer a dork, ya know that?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
Majima inhaled deeply before he turned. “Alright. Ya calm?”
“Yes.”
“Good. I’m pretty calm. Well, fer someone who just woke up with the Dragon of Dojima attached to my face.”
“Yes fine. I… I know I shouldn’t have done that. I… I just got so…wound up. I wanted to talk to you. I haven’t been dealing well recently.”
“Dealin’ with what?”
“What do you think?” Kiryu scowled. “My feelings!”
Majima relented and nodded. It was pretty obvious that he was pissing Kiryu off and he really didn’t want to do that. He knew he was acting a little shell-shocked. He needed to snap out of it and start being present before Kiryu ended up storming out.
“Alright. Jeez. Keep yer hair on.” Majima whined before he regained his seriousness. “Your feelings… for me?”
“No, for the old man at the Mahjong parlour. Idiot.”
“Fuck’s sake! You said you were calm! Take another shot o’ whiskey before ya end up chokin’ me to death.”
Kiryu took the bottle from Majima and swallowed a couple of mouthfuls before he exhaled loudly. “Alright. I’m sorry. I’m nervous. You’re definitely not helping.”
Majima groaned. “I know! I dunno what to say!”
“Things aren’t normal between us. I wanted to know why. I wanted to know if you felt… what I think you feel… for me…”
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
Majima rolled his eye. “YES! I’ve wanted ya for so long I can’t remember not wantin’ ya! Happy?””
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” Kiryu asked quietly, ignoring Majima’s outburst.
“Because… because… I didn’t think ya’d be thrilled with the idea of me wantin’ ya. I didn’t think ya could ever think o’ me in that way! I didn’t even know ya liked guys! I just… I didn’t fuckin’ know. I didn’t want to fuck it all up. We fell inta this pattern… ya know? We fight. We drink sometimes. I know I’m a dick… I know I teased ya a lot but… I didn’t want to fuck that up.”
“So, you never thought about seriously telling me?”
“Duh! Course I did. More than I wanna admit to. But like I said… didn’t wanna fuck it up.” Majima turned, it was obvious from his face he was a little embarrassed but to his credit, he pushed on. “So… ya do… like men?”
Kiryu nodded slowly. “I guess. I mean… I haven’t… you know. But I wanted to. So… yeah.”
Majima swallowed. “What about women?”
“No. I… no.”
“I see.” Majima smirked. “So… now ya know.”
“My turn?”
“Yep.”
Kiryu felt his mind go blank. After all the years of imagining this play out, the reality was harder. He had so much to say, yet not a single thought formed in his brain. Instead of trying to think of a carefully worded declaration, he just blurted out what was in his heart.
“I… I’m in love with you. I have been for… well… I always have been. I just… I wasn’t sure and… and… I guess you know the rest.”
Majima nodded slowly but he kept his gaze fixed firmly on the floor in front of him. “Well… good talk. Don’t close the door on yer way out.”
“Asshole.”
“I know.” Majima grinned.
“So, what do we do now?”
“I dunno. Ain’t exactly gonna be able to strut down the street hand in hand, are we?”
“Nope. But… do you want to try?”
“What if it don’t feel right? What if ya don’t end up feelin’ the way ya thought ya would?”
Majima let his worries slip out of his mouth regardless of the certainty he felt. A weak, last-ditch effort to protect himself before it was too late. But he knew it was already way too late. Now that Kiryu had said those words to him, he knew he’d never be able to just let it lie. He’d never be able to just walk away. Not from this. Not from Kiryu.
Kiryu shook his head. It was absurd. But he had a thought. “Alright. Stand up.”
“What? Why?”
“Just do it. It’s an experiment.”
“Oh okay. Fun. What do I do?”
“Just stand there.”
“What’re ya gonna do?”
“Kiss you. Then you tell me if it doesn’t feel right. Deal?”
Majima took a deep breath and nodded.
Kiryu braced himself before he leant in and pressed his lips gently to Majima’s. He could hear Majima’s breathing hitch but he didn’t move a muscle. It made Kiryu feel a little unsure so he pulled back with concern written all over his face. Majima opened his eye and stared into Kiryu with the darkest look he’d ever seen. Kiryu swallowed hard, unsure about how to feel.
“It… didn’t feel wrong… maybe we jus-”
He didn’t have time to finish. Majima slammed himself into Kiryu, his hand cupping the side of Kiryu’s face as he captured his lips. It caught him off guard completely. He stumbled back but Majima was on him. He pushed him until Kiryu’s back hit the wall behind him. Majima’s lips caressed his, alternating between urgently devouring him and soft, teasing strokes.
Kiryu surrendered to him. He felt Majima’s hands tracing his body, his touch uncharacteristically light. Kiryu’s heart raced, his excitement knocking the breath out of him. His breath so heavy it made him feel lightheaded. He couldn’t do much more than hold on to Majima for balance. He knew it would feel overwhelming but not this much. His body vibrated with arousal, his skin tingling, aching for more. He felt Majima pull back and it made him lean in, trying to recapture Majima’s lips. When he couldn’t feel them, he opened his eyes.
Majima’s eye was closed. He leant his forehead against Kiryu’s as he took deep breaths. Almost like he was fighting with himself. Almost like he was trying to quell the desire within him.
“Did it feel…?” Kiryu whispered.
Majima nodded, still seemingly trying to regain control.
He wondered if Majima was trying to slow things down out of concern for him. But Kiryu didn’t want it to stop. He’d waited too long for this. He wanted to give himself over to Majima completely. He didn’t want Majima to hesitate or overthink.
Kiryu grabbed Majima, lifting him off his feet in a bear hug. He staggered over to the bed and collapsed down on top of Majima. It seemed to send him feral. Whatever control he’d been trying to cling to dissolved the second he felt Kiryu’s excitement. His hands caressed every part of Kiryu’s body, greedy to feel, sending shivers all over Kiryu’s skin. He moaned when Majima’s tongue invaded his mouth, the taste of him was intoxicating. He moaned even louder when Majima thrust his hips, pressing his hard cock right against Kiryu’s. The surge it caused within him made Kiryu thrust back and the gasp Majima let out made his balls throb unbearably.
He'd never been more aroused in his life. To finally be with Majima, to give into his deepest desires was almost too much. In all his years imagining what it would be like, dreaming of how it would feel, he hadn’t been prepared.
He kissed gently down Majima’s jaw to his neck and dragged his teeth over Majima’s skin lightly, making Majima shudder underneath him. Kiryu could hear him breathing hard as his hands wandered greedily over Kiryu’s body, the intensity of his obvious longing was like a drug.
Kiryu pulled back suddenly. “I’m a… well… I haven’t… done anything like this before.”
Majima stared at him for a second. “Big surprise. Ya think I’m stupid?”
Kiryu frowned. “You know?”
“Course I do. Ain’t gotta worry Kiryu-Chan.”
“Okay… well… just…” Kiryu took a deep breath. “Tell me if I’m doing it wrong… okay?”
“Tell ya if yer doin’ what wrong?”
Kiryu shot down, pushing himself lower as his mouth worked down Majima’s chest, then lower still, down his stomach and he felt Majima tense.
“Oh fuck… ya don’t gotta…”
“It’s the second part of your birthday present…” Kiryu whispered between kisses until he was between Majima’s legs.
“One helluva fuckin’ birthday…” Majima whispered.
He was nervous but very, very excited as he reached up, hooking his fingertips over the band of Majima’s boxers and began pulling them down. Once they were down enough to give him access, he braced himself and dragged his tongue slowly up Majima’s length. He felt it tense and when he reached the tip, he felt Majima’s hand move down, stroking gently against the side of Kiryu’s head.
Kiryu took hold of his length and closed his mouth around his cock, letting himself get lost in the experience. His own cock was aching and tensing in his boxers as he began sucking, his tongue stroking lightly as he took him in as far as he could. He’d thought about this, fantasised about it so many times but nothing could prepare him for how exciting the real thing was.
“Fuck! This can’t be fuckin’ happenin’… I gotta be fuckin’ dreamin’…” Majima hissed. “Oh, holy fuck!”
Kiryu felt Majima’s fingers in his hair, guiding his head up and down as Kiryu sucked him. He could feel Majima’s legs twitching as he worked him and the moans coming from him made Kiryu way too horny. The taste of him, his scent, being like this with him, it was all better than anything Kiryu had conjured in his mind. All the fantasies he’d tried to satisfy himself with over the years were nothing compared to this.
And still he wanted more. He wanted to alter their relationship permanently. He wanted to push past the boundaries of friendship so they could never go back. An animalistic yearning nagged at him. It demanded to claim Majima, to possess him, to make him belong to Kiryu. It made him desperate to dive in and give Majima everything.
He slowly released Majima’s cock from his mouth and pushed himself up until he was face to face with Majima. He stared intently into Majima’s eye but the question he wanted to ask wouldn’t come out of his mouth. He felt nervous, a little unsure. Majima cocked a brow but before he had a chance to say anything, Kiryu leant in for a kiss.
He kissed Majima slowly, taking his time to savour the taste of him. He committed every detail to memory, every bodily sensation, every emotion. He almost didn’t notice Majima’s hands wandering down between them. When he felt Majima pushing his hand into the waistband of Kiryu’s boxers, he jumped, a nervous jolt sent shivers through every cell of his being.
After Majima began stroking Kiryu’s length for all of four seconds, it became obvious that he was way too excited. Kiryu’s body was practically vibrating he was so tense. His heavy breathing devolved into gasping before he pulled away. Majima grinned up at him before he leaned in and began teasing Kiryu’s neck softly, making him shudder.
Majima loved the power he had over Kiryu. He loved watching how completely unravelled he was. And he trusted Kiryu more than anyone else in the world. So much that he would willingly give up that power and control that he loved so much.
“Ya wanna fuck me?” Majima whispered.
Kiryu pulled back to look at Majima, like he was searching for an answer. Like he was trying to gauge Majima’s possible reaction. Kiryu decided that it was pointless pretty much immediately. He had never been able to gauge anything when it came to Majima and he knew he never would. Majima was too chaotic and emotionally scattered for anyone to predict his motives, desires, reactions. He wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Actually… I was thinking that you could… you know… me?”
Majima’s eye flashed up to meet Kiryu’s, full of shock and a hint of something that let Kiryu know he was more than excited.
“If… you want to…” Kiryu muttered shyly.
Majima didn’t respond. He didn’t think he could. Too much. It was all too much. He could practically feel the synapses crackling in his brain. After so many years of build-up, it was almost absurd to think that all of his feelings, his dreams, his desires would culminate in this actually happening.
Still, he couldn’t help but let it consume him whole. He flipped Kiryu, pinning him to his bed. He could tell it excited Kiryu. He could feel that Kiryu offered no resistance to him. He submitted to Majima eagerly. All he could do was stare at him with anticipation on his face and hunger on his every heavy breath.
Majima took no time at all in producing a bottle of lube from his nightstand and removing Kiryu’s boxers. Kiryu blew out a breath as he relaxed back on Majima’s bed. He was hyper-aware of Majima between his legs. He felt so bare. Vulnerable. It didn’t feel scary like he thought it would. He felt safe. He kept his focus on Majima’s face as he felt a fingertip stroke against his hole.
“Ya ready?”
“I think so.” Kiryu nodded.
He felt Majima push in slowly and felt reassured instantly when he realised how careful Majima was being. He let himself just go with it and relax. He felt himself being stretched as Majima added another finger then finally, a third. Kiryu had become a mess of gasps and moans which was pretty reassuring to Majima.
Majima smothered his length in lube before he lay down on top of Kiryu. His hand was already around his shaft, guiding his tip down to Kiryu’s hole. He felt like he was moving in slow motion. He was completely overwhelmed and he knew it. It was only when Kiryu captured his lips again that Majima was able to move past his shock and pull his mind to the present.
He began slowly pushing his hips into Kiryu and although his whole body trembled, he tried his best to be gentle. To worship the man that he’d loved for so long. Words had failed him. It wasn’t that he hadn’t been able to think of anything to say. It was that his mind raced through every possibility and each one fell short. In truth, there were no words in the world that could come close to explaining what he felt for Kiryu. So, he’d show him with action. He’d let Kiryu feel what Majima was feeling. He’d communicate through his body.
He kissed Kiryu deeply as he pushed in a little bit at a time, moving slowly. Fuck he was way too riled up. His stomach almost ached with arousal. His balls had never felt so heavy, throbbing in time with Kiryu’s filthy grunts as he took Majima’s length with wide open legs. Better than anything his twisted mind had conjured over the years. His lean muscles strained under swirls of black ink, blood red petals, and vicious fangs.
Kiryu was breathing hard as he tried his best to relax. It hurt a lot. But it was quickly subsiding in waves as his arousal won out. Every time he felt the pressure of Majima’s hips, the way his cock filled Kiryu slowly, a surge of pure lust overtook his body. Fuck, it definitely felt right. He felt Majima thrust into him hard, finally filling him completely. Majima’s hips dug into Kiryu’s ass and as Kiryu reached up and pushed Majima’s hair back off his face, he saw a pained expression.
Kiryu grinned. He enjoyed seeing Majima so wound up. Kiryu leaned up and captured Majima’s lips in a slow kiss. He took his time teasing Majima’s mouth lightly with his tongue but Majima didn’t move a muscle. It was only when Kiryu grabbed his ass and pulled him in that Majima reacted, letting out a breathy sob.
His hips thrust automatically a second time, desperately seeking the wave of pleasure promised to him. When it hit him, his scrunched-up face spurred Kiryu on and he rolled his hips, pressing down on Majima’s length. The strangled howl Majima let out as he threw his head back was both satisfying to Kiryu and made him want to hear more.
He kept up his pace, fucking himself on Majima’s dick. The more he moved, the more intense it felt apparently for himself and Majima. Majima barely managed to cling to control. His arms were wrapped tightly around Kiryu, pulling him close. His body pressed hard on top of Kiryu’s, pinning him in place. His hips jutted sporadically but so lightly. Like every movement was too much and all he could do was take what Kiryu was giving him.
“I never imagined you’d be shy…” Kiryu whispered, making Majima smile.
“Shy? Me? Pfft.” Majima moaned softly as he finally thrust his hips properly, burying himself into Kiryu deeply. Kiryu’s whole body jolted, his face breaking out into total shock.
“Oh! Oh God!” Kiryu gasped, his grip tightening on Majima.
Spurred on by Kiryu’s reaction, Majima began rolling his hips slowly, keeping his length deep in Kiryu. He knew exactly what he was doing to Kiryu and it was exhilarating to watch him. To know that it was Majima who was making him lose his breath. To see him completely undone.
Majima increased his pace a little when he was sure that he was hitting the right spot. Focusing on Kiryu’s pleasure was the only thing keeping him together. It was seeing Kiryu like this, feeling him, being inside of him that was driving Majima. That and the noises he was making. They mind-fucked him to hell and back. The low whimpers were getting to him the most. It was taking everything in him to exercise control and not rail Kiryu through the mattress.
He pushed himself up so that he could watch Kiryu. And watch his dick slide in and out of Kiryu’s hole. It was unbelievable. But seeing Kiryu’s face, watching his reactions was what Majima fixated on. He found himself fascinated by every twitch of Kiryu’s eyebrow, every bite of his bottom lip, every moan that escaped his mouth. It was all too tantalising.
When Kiryu’s body jolted, his voice breaking as he cried out, Majima almost jumped too. He watched as Kiryu’s face contorted into a grimace, his brows knitting together. He looked down to his dick, pulling Majima’s attention lower too. It was rock hard and even though Majima wondered if Kiryu was about to cum, it was still a surprise.
His cock tensed, straining off his belly and his balls squeezed hard as the first stream erupted from his tip. Majima cried out like it was his own orgasm, he was so excited to see it happen. He thrust, murmuring lewd encouragements to Kiryu as he watched Kiryu’s cock paint his stomach and chest. Every deep thrust seemed to push Kiryu beyond anything he’d ever felt before.
The cries, the desperate whimpers Kiryu let out were something Majima knew he’d never forget. The way he clenched so hard, pulsating around Majima’s cock was burned into his mind forever. The feeling of it spoke to him. Begged him. Demanded of him. Hooking him in. His obsession finding its final home. His reason for existing. He knew it would become his addiction.
He increased his pace, his hips slapping against Kiryu. He felt his own orgasm surge past the point, there was no holding back anymore. His body tensed, quivering from the strain as he neared his end. His hands grabbed Kiryu’s hips hard enough to leave bruises but neither noticed.
“Oh, holy fuck. K-Kiryu-Chan!” Majima stuttered out before his growls filled the room. His pace slowed, his body was struggling to hold him up and his breathing was strained. On the inside, he’d transcended beyond his own comprehension. He understood that this was his destiny. He and Kiryu had always belonged to each other. Finally, he felt peace when his cock released him from his torment and spilled inside of Kiryu. And he gave Kiryu everything. He thrust until he was oversensitive and there wasn’t a drop left before he slowly opened his eye.
He was met with Kiryu’s intense gaze, analysing him, taking in his state. He grinned, feeling a little self-conscious to have the most satisfying, mind-blowing experience of his life scrutinised so closely.
“I think it felt right.”
The statement made Majima beam. It was true but wildly understated. He slid himself out of Kiryu and rolled over, flinging himself on his back dramatically. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he stared up at the ceiling. He saw everything in a new light. It was surreal and maybe too real at the same time. And there was no going back.
Kiryu turned to stare at his profile. “Well… happy birthday.”
“Happy fuckin’ birthday to me.” Majima mused. He was still in a state of shock at how things had just unfolded but he couldn’t deny how happy it made him. In his wildest dreams he never thought he’d get what he wanted most. “I forgot to mention… it’s my birthday every day… just so ya know…”
“Oh… I’ll keep that in mind.” Kiryu chuckled. He knew it was Majima’s way of letting him know that he thought it felt right too.
Majima turned suddenly, flinging himself over to his side to face Kiryu. He hesitated before he leaned in and placed his lips gently on Kiryu’s. “I love ya too, Kiryu-Chan.”
It was the very first best birthday Majima had. And every single one that followed was just as special. Kiryu made sure of it.