Work Text:
Seungkwan looks like a pastry.
Suit tight in one of those pastel unconventional colors to look modern enough. Unable to frown because the overwhelming amount of gel in his hair threatens him with going bald.
Seungkwan smiles at the adult Seungkwan in the mirror, it's a rare sight but he welcomes him.
As he makes his way to where he should position himself at the altar, he can distinguish the weight of his parents' gazes on him. His mother's warm smile, gesturing him to adjust the little flower that appears from the top pocket of his jacket, matching the decoration of the place. And the bride's bouquet, of course. His father's satisfied expression, "Finally you are a real man" he doesn't say it but Seungkwan can hear it clearly enough in his head.
A real man. A serious one.
Seungkwan takes one last deep breath when he reaches his place, exchanging a gentle smile with the priest, a bow to his in-laws. They look at him proudly.
The ceremonial music is already playing when the bride appears.
She looks pretty, more than his head can process, like a living fairy tale walking straight towards him.
Suddenly Seungkwan doesn't care if the suit is uncomfortable or the color doesn't flatter him, if the decorations aren't to his taste or if he disagrees with the choice of guests.
Boo Seungkwan considers himself a happy man.
At the "Speak now or forever hold your peace" he finds himself feeling uneasy, anxious that this might be ruined somehow. She gives him a smile and lightly shakes her head, as she could read his mind. Indeed, everyone remains silent.
Vows are not present in this weeding, another modern request from the wedding planner. He's grateful now, there's no way he could have gotten his voice out of his throat.
The "Do you take this woman to be your wife?" is directly replaced by "Now, you may kiss the bride."
One kiss and he could live as a happily married man. Settle down for good. Have a dream house, with a dog and a couple of kids. He and his wife would sit in the garden, watching them play, drinking expensive wine while wondering if life could get any better.
Who would say no to such a thing?
At least a couple of guests fall out of their chairs when Boo Seungkwan turns around and runs out of the church for dear life.
The outside feels like another planet.
There are no pastel colors or flowers, or background music, the streets as busy and polluted as ever. Whatever bubble Seungkwan had been living in for the past few years bursts as soon as he sets foot outside the church.
From afar, he can hear people screaming in shock, the priest trying to calm down the crowd, a woman's sobs.
After him, his "father-in-law" who is chasing him down the street, with a repertoire of insults large enough to remake the Cambridge dictionary.
Boo Seungkwan has never been a great runner, less in skinny trousers, but he is now a worldwide marathon winner.
He has lost a shoe on the way, elegance is nowhere to be seen, and he has a full retired military man on his heels.
In the name of survival, Seungkwan gets into the first vehicle he finds, he has never ridden a motorbike but there must always be a first time for everything.
120 km/h on a city road.
Pizza delivery man included.
The springs of the old couch complain when Hansol stretches.
His roomate has left a good morning gesture in the form of a cup full of burnt coffee. "Asshole." He mutters to himself while pouring the stinky liquid down the drain. Before leaving the house, he makes sure to leave a sticky note on the TV remote, telling a certain Jun to clean the apartment for once, signed with a particular "fuck you".
The smell of pepperoni emanating from the restaurant is nauseating at this time of the day, you can even smell it from across the street.
Vernon is thankful every day that he isn't much of a breakfast person, there's no way he could walk through the doors without throwing up as a daily basic.
"You have orders already." Shouts the greasy man Vernon knows as his boss, without a chance for a "Hello" or "Hi, Hansol, how are you in this lovely day?" He rolls his eyes so hard it hurts.
"Who the hell orders pizza at 11AM on a Sunday?" He complains to himself, but when the man asks "What did you say?" eyebrow already raised, he says nothing. He just hangs his delivery backpack and goes to the alley next to the restaurant where his bike is parked.
Driving may be the only thing Vernon likes about this job, he doesn't have to pay for gas and he can excuse going a little faster than he should for the food not to arrive cold. The longer the assignment, the less time he has to put up with his shitty boss.
Whoever the creature that's ordering delivery at this hour is, lives near a church. Vernon can simply tell because there isn't a single parking spot in the whole street, plus, there's people dressed like background extras from the Hunger Games' Capitol everywhere.
God bless the poor soul who's getting married, he thinks.
The address Vernon has written down on his phone doesn't seem to appear on the building's entryphone. The numbers are so faded by time that he decides that going in and searching for the apartment himself will be faster.
When he arrives to the third floor, a bit without air, he mentally pats himself on the back at the sight of the "3-B" sign next to a door.
He rings once. Twice. He was about to leave at the third attempt but someone finally opened.
A child.
A literal kindergarten student. Round tip scissors in hand, ready to attack if necessary.
Vernon clears his throath.
"Hi, buddy. Are your parents here?"
The kid nodded.
"Oh. Great, could you tell them to come here, please?" He said, trying to smile but not smile enough to scare him.
Looking suspiciously at Vernon, up and down, the boy nodded to himself "You stay there."
"Okay-" Oh, a 5-year-old just slammed a door in his face, what a wonderful way to start a Sunday.
Vernon had a couple of minutes to rethink his life decisions till the door opened again.
This time it was a man in his forties.
He looked at Vernon up and down, down and up, just like the kid. "I didn't ordered any pizza."
Bold thing to say to the pizza guy at your door. Vernon checked the adress again, he was pretty sure he got it right "We have received an order to your residence, Sir."
"I did order." Said the man.
Vernon smiled awkwardly, confused but whatever, he just wanted to take the money and go "Well, here it is."
The man narrowed his eyes "But I didn't order any pizza." He said again.
"Pardon? I don't think I'm understanding you, Sir." Vernon showed him the screen of his phone "Here said two medium meals, and this is your residence, am I right?"
The man yawned shamelessly and nodded. "Yeah."
Vernon opened his mouth but decided to keep his thoughts to himself. "Then this is your order."
"I didn't ordered any pizza, I ordered sushi."
"Sir, we don't sell any other kind of food."
"But I ordered sushi."
"We don't have sushi in the menu."
"I didn't ask for pizza."
"We are fucking called Telepizza what were you expecting?"
I'm going to make this quick for the both of us: Let's just say that Vernon is getting fired today.
He didn't even bother taking the elevator down, anger had taken all the fatigue out of his legs. While whispering to himself all kinds of curses known to humankind, Vernon put on his helmet and took a deep breath before hitting the road again, thinking how he was going to explain everything to his boss. Worse, how was he going to tell his family that he was jobless again.
As soon as he started the vehicle, someone jumped on him, clinging to his back just like a monkey and pushing the accelerator to the maximum.
Hansol Vernon's scream of terror can be heard in three different countries.
Vernon had always thought he would die in some ridiculous way, like falling down the stairs because his shoelaces were untied or choking on chewing gum.
Crashed between freshly made pizzas and a stranger was not a possibility to consider until now.
"Get the fuck out!" He screams, trying to shake whoever away. Stopping the vehicle would also be fine, if it weren't for the fact that the body behind him is all over him, almost pinning him against the handlebar.
Oh, and in case I forgot to mention it, this is happening in the middle of an overcrowded highway.
Driving or dying it is.
The figure behind Vernon shouts something that he cannot understand and it leaves his eardrums ringing, at that moment he finally lets go of the handlebars to hold on to Vernon so hard that he could have broken him a rib. Vernon, of course, understands what this means the moment a truck passes them dangerously close at full speed and he has to swerve, almost sending them both flying out of their seats.
The rest of the way is just pure chaos. Vernon screams, the other person screams, they both struggle, a bit of fighting here and there, and at some point they reach the silent agreement that neither wants to die.
Seungkwan hopes whoever he is clinging to knows what they are doing, cause he is pretty sure that bikes like this can't even get in to this type of roads.
When they finally find a way out the highway, a rural road that seems to lead nowhere, the bike collapses with a shrill noise, stopping suddenly.
Vernon is luckier this time, the helmet has stopped most of his fall, and the work uniform has stopped the rest. Seungkwan, on the other hand, had rolled enough in the dirt to look like a mud pie rather than a person.
The dizziness has taken enough of Vernon for the motorbike to be the first of his worries, which is funny, because if he wasn't fired before he certainly is now. Then his train of thought goes to his uniform, which is as ruined as the vehicle and his future. And lastly, what would have been his first concern if it weren't for the fact that the world was spinning around him.
Vernon gathers all his energy and strength to grab the man lying next to him on the floor by the collar of his jacket. A pretty ugly one, by the way.
Of all the people who could have attacked him, a modern wannabe.
The man protests and he takes off the dirty helmelt to see properly, ironically worried that he is hurt.
Wait, isn't that a familiar face?
"Boo Seungkwan?"
Vernon lets go of the man who falls on his back like a rag doll. Seungkwan stands up from the mud puddle he's in, ranting at the "insensitive son of a bitch" in front of him, stops mid sentence when he recognizes him.
"Vernon?"
Seungkwan's mouth is open enough to look like a mailbox.
"Hansol Vernon?"
Hansol Vernon, indeed. The boy nods and sits down for good mesure, wanting to laugh at the surrealism of it all but his body hurts too much to do so.
Since when had they not seen each other? A decade almost?
The last time had been in their last year of high school, Seungkwan had broken up with him without any pretext right after algebra class. That left 16-year-old Vernon crying in the cleaning room for a week. He even gave him the cold shoulder at graduation.
Seungkwan quickly approached the boy on the ground, looking for any wound or fracture, but Vernon's face only expressed an indescribable feeling between surprise and confusion. And anger, to say least. "Oh my- are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?"
"Oh my god this has to be a joke." He muttered to the sky, receiving a strange look.
Perfect, Seungkwan thought, he has lost his mind "Have you had a concussion?" Seungkwan patted his pants desperately in search of his phone, which he had inconveniently left in the church.
"Have I..." Vernon interrupted himself, running his hands through his hair"Hear me out, I have like zero energy for this. General explanation? Please?"
"What?" Seungkwan for a moment genuinely didn't understand what the boy was referring to, his mind was already in other place "Give me your phone, I'll call an ambulance."
Vernon shoved him away, swatting Seungkwan's hand struggling to get his phone out of his pants. "You know? Today is not the day. No explanation needed." He said standing up, without paying attention to discomfort on his legs. "Get up, I'll drop you where I found you and we won't see each other again for the next ten years."
Seungkwan stepped between the boy and the motobike. "No, no, no, we can't do that please."
"What has gotten into y-"
"I just ran out of my wedding."
"You're getting married?"
Courageous decision to speak in present tense. "I think not anymore." Seungkwan confessed just as shocked.
After a mental reflection of what had really happened, he thought he would faint on the spot. "My God, what have I done?"
"That's the same thing I'm asking you, mate." For some reason, Vernon's anger had disappeared after hearing the boy's circumstances, although it wasn't out of empathy or anything like that, it was more the comfort of knowing that someone's life is worse than yours. "Who were you going to marry?"
Seungkwan threw a handful of mud at the boy's feet. "Does that matter?!"
Vernon raised his hands in redemption, he could think about Boo Seungkwan and his wedding another day, while laying on his couch safe and sound and not in the middle of nowhere. "Whatever's right with you." He tried to start the vehicle again, this time he didn't need anyone to stop him, it wasn't working anyway.
"Fuck me."He gave up when he started to smell fuel "Give me your phone." He said to the grown ass man that was having a full life crisis, he stopped crying only to look at Vernon, then started crying again. "Man, I don't have time for this and you probably prefer to cry at home."
"I don't have my phone here." Sobbed Seungwan."I left it at the church."
Vernon let out a sigh, letting himself lean against the trunk of a tree."We have a problem then, again." He informed the boy while showing him his own phone which didn't even turn on. Connect to a power source, it read on the full black screen. Yeah, no.
"What do we do know?
"Go home, Im staying here." Said the ball of mud and tears that Seungkwan had metamorphosed into.
Seungkwan heard a frustrated sound and a couple of steps, and for a second he was afraid that the boy was really leaving. But he was there when we opened his eyes, offering him a hand.
"Come on, get up. I think there's a service station at the end of the road."
Seungkwan leaves his muddy jacket folded on a nearby trash can.
"There's no way they're going to let us in like this." Said Vernon. True. While he entered the gas station store, Seungkwan waited, sitting on a bench by the door.
What the hell is he doing with his life? He was supposed to be married by now to the woman who has been his partner for the last seven years, heading to a honeymoon in the Mediterranean.
Instead he was matching souvenirs shirts with Hansol Vernon in a petrol station.
"Are you hungry?" Asked this one.
"No."Seungkwan was thrown a sandwich anyway "Thank you."
Silences with Vernon were as awkward as they had been in their younger days, though the boy never seemed to mind, he was just there until he eventually started yapping again "So...you were getting married." Seungkwan didn't even respond. "And how..? It's not that I want to put the finger in the wound but I almost died at the hands of someone I haven't seen in a decade under the pretext of running away from a wedding I didn't even know was taking place." Vernon nodded to himself, as if he were discovering the vagaries of the universe.
Seungkwan looked at him offended, permanent pout on his face "That's truly all you have to ask me?"
"What am I supposed to ask you?"
The boy stood up from the bench as if he had heard the greatest grievance ever known. "I don't know! It's been ten years, what about a "Oh Seungkwan how are you?" for example?"
"If you didn't want me to ask maybe you shouldn't show up after all these years running away from your damn-"
"Stop talking about my fucking wedding!" Oh. He is crying. "It's 𝘮𝘺 wedding, you don't have the right to say a thing about it." He muttered with trembling voice.
Vernon thought it was impossible that someone's crying would hit that hard after so many years, but he felt like shit just like he was sixteen again. "Sorry, sorry, man, that's right." for a second, he went to rub him on the back but moved his hand away as soon as he realized. "Er, how are you?"
Seungkwan looked up at the boy, full sobbing again. "Bad." Mm, we can tell. "I don't know why I did that, my god I just screwed up my life. My father is going to kill me."
Vernon could have said a lot about Seungkwan's concern being his father and not the bride he had left at the altar, but in the name of the common good he kept his thoughts to himself and just patted him on the back. "Nah, it's fine he'll get it." He knew the man enough to know he wouldn't, but it felt like the right thing to say.
Seungkwan shaked his head whispering something to himself and stopped his gaze on Vernon's trousers logo "Wait, was that..? Lord, im so sorry, I didn't realize. I'll pay the repair," He hastened to say, desperately searching for his wallet which was next to his phone at church. "You can sue me or something, im so sorry,
im-"
"Oh no, no, no, it's fine, i was getting fired anyways." He moved his hand away, gesturing him to relax. Seungkwan didn't look convinced at all, but it was actually true "Bad day." Vernon explained sortly.
"Anything?"
Seungkwan asks for the thousandth time. They have spent the entire afternoon at the service station calling roadside assistance from the store's phone, but the coverage in the area is non-existent, they no longer have any more coins and in the hypothetical case that they would arrive, there's no way Vernon would walk 2 kilometers in a dark forest. "Nothing. I give up."
"Hitchhike?" Seungkwan is no longer crying, maybe because there's no more water left in his body, but whatever the reason, it is good.
Vernon gestures a no "Not in the mood to get kidnapped. We'll figure out how to get you home and I'll spend the night here." Future Vernon can take care of the rest, he thinks, for now he just wants to lay wherever and sleep for a year at least.
Seungkwan doesn't waits a second to say "I'm staying with you." A hostel in the middle of nowhere couldn't be more terrifying than coming home right now.
It takes the boy by surprise, who may feel some heat on his face but just nods as unbothered as always.
The hostel is straight out of a horror movie.
The part of the road where it is located has the streetlights out, the entrance sign is flickering, and the walls are covered in stains that Vernon has no intention of identifying. The receptionist has an almost comical resemblance to that "Monsters, Inc." character, you know, that one lizard lady with pointy glasses, he can't quite remember her name.
Two single rooms is what Vernon asks for, which should not be a complicated demand in a place as deserted as this one.
And what the receptionist responds in a monotone voice as if she were speaking to air is: "We only have one double room left."
Seungkwan looks around searching for a single soul in the entire hostel, but there's no one, not even a car in the parking lot. "Madam, are you really sure there aren't two free rooms? It's just for tonight."
The receptionist makes an even more lizard-like face, judging the boys over her glasses. "This or nothing." The room keys rattle with an annoying metalic sound on the counter.
Seungkwan is about to protest again when Vernon grabs the keys and drags the boy away with a bitter "Thanks, very kind."
Bickering all the way to the stairs, they find their assigned room in the second floor. 333, it reads on the door. Vernon has to laugh because the other option would be to cry.
"Man, no. This is scary as fuck." Poor seungkwan was shaking like jelly, clinging to the arm of the boy next to him, prepared to use him as a human shield if necessary. "Is that a rat?" He whispers in shock at the sight of the animal that runs down the other end of the hallway.
Vernon gestures him to shut up, fighting against the door lock, the mechanisms are so old that he is afraid the key may break. But after some struggle here and there he manages to open it.
The room is exactly like those scenarios Seungkwan used to see on TV crime shows. A lamp half off the hook, the closet with a missing door, the window fixed with duct tape, and worst of all...there is only one bed.
"I think I'm going to start writing my will." He genuinely mutters as he enters the room.
"It is not that bad." Vernon sighs trying to convince himself, although he fails in the attempt, Seungkwan gives him the sideye of his life. "Stop. It's just for tonight."
"For tonight and for the rest of eternity. I expected my ghost to haunt better places." The boy checked with a finger how the matress was, as if touching it was radioactive. He even looked under the bed, just in case. "This gives me the creeps."
"Oh, look. Modernity." Chuckles Vernon at the view of the bathroom, which has a shower, a toilet and a sink all compact in a space of two square meters.
"I'm going to jump out the window, true, I can't, it's tied with fucking duct tape." Seungkwan whines and Vernon just rolls his eyes, he has slept in worse places, like his apartment, for example.
"Shut up and go take a bath, you're leaving mud everywhere." He manages to push Seungkwan to the bathroom despite of his attempts of fighting, all under the condition that Vernon guards the other side of the door, to which he has no objection.
"How does this work?...Ah, it's fucking freezing!"
Once changed into their gas station clothes (peak fashion), they share dinner which consists of a package of sour gummy worms, two donuts and an unknown brand fizzy drink.
A delicacy.
Under other circumstances, they would have debated who slept where, but since there was nothing in the room except the worn-out bed, not a sofa, not even a chair, that left them no choice but to sleep together.
Vernon was cool about it, he was cool about almost everything. Seungkwan, on the other hand, was a little tense. "That feels like we're in some mediocre fanfic written by a twenty-something years old girl trying to force us to have a one bed trope."
Vernon chuckled. The moonlight wasn't enough for him to see the boy, not the expressions he made or whether he was saying this crying or laughing, but he could feel the heat of their backs together. In some corner of his mind he could almost form Seungkwan's sleepy face just by memory. Younger, tho. And perhaps looking at him more tenderly than he would now. "It's funny if you think about it. Living in the same city I thought we would met again in a different way."
"It's not funny." Seungkwan sighed to himself, trying to find a more comfortable position, which was impossible. "Maybe it's the karma."
"Are you still thinking about that?" Vernon truly laughed this time at the unlocked memory. In a nutshell, Seungkwan cheated on a test back in fifth grade, he was sure that all the misfortunes that happened to him that year were the result of karma. In his defense, the truth is that there were quite a few.
"It never let go of me since then, I swear." For a moment he too laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. "This is so surreal."
"Yeah. I thought the next time I'd see your face would be in one of those corporate ads on some billboard."
Seungkwan turned to face the boy, although he could barely make out where he was. "How do you know of what I graduated?"
Vernon shrugged. “I stalked you on Facebook.”
"Fair." Seungkwan answered to the nothingess, making a mental note to stop sharing his entire life on social media. "What about you? The last time I saw your sister she told me you wanted to drop out."
Vernon shaked his head, Seungkwan could tell somehow "I graduated, there's just no job."
"Really?"
"No. I dropped out."
Their laughter echoed in the room.
"Sorry. I don't even know why I'm laughing, I think I'm going insane." Seungkwan apologized, wiping away a tear. He received a smile that he couldn't see."In a thousand years I would have imagine that my honeymoon would end up like this."
Vernon wanted to ask if he meant being in a creepy hostel or because of his presence, both seemed fair "Where were you going?"
"A cruise through the Mediterranean." Seungkwan said piteously.
"Uhh, that hurts." Vernon acknowledged, he could sacrifice a wedding but the holidays were another matter.
"My in-laws must be hanging "Wanted: dead or alive" posters all around the city."
"Are they that bad?" Asked Vernon.
"The worst." Seungkwan turned to face him again, like if he needed the proximity for him to understand the seriousness of the matter "They are one of those corporate CEOs who would have no problem demolishing residential neighborhoods to build a shopping center."
"Oh shit, " Vernon copied the gesture "those are the worst."
"I know." Seungkwan nodded to himself undoubtedly "She has nothing to do with them tho, she's a really lovely woman."
Vernon interpreted the "she" as "the woman I was going to marry", he had no intention of knowing her name, although he would be lying if he said he wasn't curious about the matter. "How long have you two been dating?"
Seungkwan took a while to answer and Vernon was scared for a few seconds that he had stepped on a line, but if that was the case the boy didn't show it. "About seven years."
Vernon did the math, that was three years after they broke up.
"That's like a lot."
Seungkwan hummed "It feels like a lot." he quickly added a "In a good way." and then a confused "I guess."
"Couple life is complicated." Vernon said trying to make him feel better.
"Are you dating?" He asked with a hint of curiosity.
"Gosh, no."
Seungkwan laughed at the disgust in his voice. “You're making it look illegal.”
"Is it not?" He joked, somehow enjoying the atmosphere, then his mind decided to share a funfact "I haven't been with anyone since you, actually."
The information felt both strange and shocking in Seungkwan's chest, perhaps because the way he had said it made it seem more recent, as if it were something from last week and not from their high school era "Not once?"
"No. I mean," Vernon rushed to explain, internally regretting bringing up the topic. "I've seen people just not...formally."
Seungkwan could have avoided the matter, but after such a day he gave himself the indulgence of talking about it, to worry about the problems of a 16-year-old teenager and not about the shitty life he was leading at almost 27. "Did you love me that much?"
Vernon rolled his eyes and sighed, but the boy could hear the grin in his voice."Well, you were my gay awakening and on top of that you broke up with me in front of the entire school."
"Karma haunts me for that too." Seungkwan acknowledged with a chuckle.
"Now that you bring up the subject, I have a question. Karma may set you free if you answer." Vernon sat up, resting his back against the headboard, he had already given up trying to fall asleep and the springs of the bed were threatening his physical integrity.
"Go ahead." Seungkwan answered at the dark silhouette he hoped was Vernon and not some kind of spectral being.
"Why did you break up with me?" The billion won question, Seungkwan thought.
"My parents didn't like you." He answered simply, also leaning back against the headboard.
"I already knew that. Come on, tell me something more juicy, I've waited ten years for this." Vernon asked playfully, pushing Seungkwan lightly.
"Okay. Er..." Seungkwan searched inside his head without being able to hide a laugh, what had really been the reasons? "We were too diferent." He declares.
"That's all? I must say that I was expecting something more interesting."
"What do you want me to say? We were literally day and night." They can't see each other, but they both smile at this.
Seungkwan wasn't lying. They were the two most opposite polar opposites in history.
Vernon was careless, naturally unbothered, he did what he wanted when he wanted, he didn't care much about his studies and somehow half of the teachers had reached the end of the year without even knowing his name. A free spirit.
Seungkwan was the desired child of all parents, the golden one you could call it. Best grades in his class, graduated with honors, social butterfly and impeccable reputation.
The two of them dating was like mixing water with oil.
"It was fun, still." Vernon confesses.
"I was an asshole." Seungkwan admits, which was also true, he wasn't having the best moments of his life.
Vernon nods at the silhouette next to him, a yawn scapes from his mouth. "That's true, but I liked you."
"I like you too." Seungkwan yawns too, and Vernon doesn't quite knows whether or not he has heard a "d" at the end of the verb.
After a few minutes in silence, he thinks that the boy may be asleep because of the calmness of his breathing, so he asks very quietly, without wanting to wake him up. "How is she like?"
Seungkwan's voice is sleepy but he's definitely still awake. "She is a lovely woman." He repeats. "Pretty kind, she has this really beautiful way of speaking and she is polite even when she argues, no idea how."
"Mhm, she seems nice." Vernon whispers, and he means it.
"She deserves better." Is Seungkwan's response.
The conversation continues in whispers, Vernon doesn't know if it's because they're both sleep deprived, or because it's almost 3AM, or because it's much of a sensitive topic to talk about out loud.
Whatever it is, he prefers it that way.
"Was it your idea to get married?"
Now that his eyes are more accustomed to the darkness he can see the boy's outline better, he hasn't changed a bit, same chubby cheeks, same pouty lips, same haircut. "It was her parents'. You know, bureaucratic bullshit."
Vernon lies back on the bed, feeling how sleep is slowly taking over him, he closes his eyes but continues talking. "That's twisted, but I guess it's okay if you love her."
"I think the problem is that I don't." Seungkwan, unlike the boy, is staring at the ceiling trying to get his thoughts together, even if his body screams for some sleep. He suspects that Vernon is no longer awake when he stops responding but continues talking to him anyway. "It's not like I don't love her, I really love her, a lot, she is a wonderful person and she has made me feel like the luckiest man ever all these years. I just don't think I love her the way you should love someone when you marry them. Or maybe we've just spent too much time together and I've forgotten how it's supposed to feel." Sleepy Vernon grunts something like a "maybe" or Seungkwan interprets it that way at least. "I don't know, I just wish I could tell if that's the way it feels to kiss and touch someone you don't love anymore."
Seungkwan spends a couple of minutes in silence, listening to his own breathing. Through the window he sees the lights of a few cars, it must be really late if people are already starting to go to work, he thinks, it would be better to sleep. He settles his head on the pillow and finally closes his eyes, not caring about the movement of sheets next to him.
He realizes that Vernon is still awake the moment warm lips press against his.
"This is how kissing someone you used to love is supposed to feel like."
And with that, he rolls over and sleeps again.
Seungkwan stays up all night, listening to his own heartbeat ringing in his ears.
The return home was rather silent.
Vernon's roommate came to pick them up as soon as they were able to call him, Seungkwan wanted to take care of the motorbike matter but the boy insisted that the company would take care of it.
Then they said goodbye with a high five as if nothing had happened.
The second time Seungkwan's wedding took place, he had already made sure to have the little flower properly placed before walking to the altar.
This time he didn't look at anyone. "A panic attack from excitement" his parents said. His in-laws didn't really believe them, but it's not like they actually liked Seungkwan before, so nothing had changed much.
He had heard many stories about the bride since that day, all of them against his will and in the form of whispers behind his back. That she was very happy that the wedding had been ruined because she was already seeing someone or because she was getting married forced by her parents were the most common. Whether that was true or not, Seungkwan didn't care.
He arrived at his position at the altar and stood there watching her arrive, he definitely didn't know which of the two looked more depressing.
For security measures, the vows had been shortened even more if that was possible.
"Speak now or forever hold your peace." The priest said in a gloomy tone, Seungkwan searched for the familiar smile on the face of the woman in front of him but didn't find it.
Here goes nothing, he thought, ready to go for the kiss.
"Father, I have an objection!"
Boo Seungkwan exchanged glances with Hansol Vernon.
This was the second and last time that Seungkwan escaped from his wedding, now holding hands with his high school sweetheart as they ran down the street.
(No pizza delivery motorbikes involved.)