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I’ve never been the type of guy to focus on others. I’ve always said I wasn’t gay, but I was never attracted to girls. On that note, I was never even attracted to boys. No one has ever stood out to me, I’ll say some celebrities have caught my eye, but at the end of the day they are people double my age I have zero chance with.
It’s September, beginning of college year. We’re around a week or two in. Usually people say in college people get interested in dating , yet so far I got nothing. Everyone is in college now and finding crushes and I can’t even think of someone ‘attractive’ if someone asked me who I think is hot. It really started to bug me, so I turned my head and I looked at my friend Ryan.
liam has always been my friend, been my friend for a couple years now. He’s always smiling and giggling, and touchy. With his soft and shaggy dark brown hair that covers his eyebrows and eyes that match it, along with his never chapped reddish pink lips. He’s one of those special people. Special people I tend to find cute, the way he smiles makes me smile. I soon asked him the question I’ve been asked for a while now..
“Ryan. Do you have a crush on anyone?” He smiles and giggles, as always. I wait for his response as I see his cheeks turn pink.
“No.. not any I can think of.” He says as his words are separated by his giggles
I thought if Ryan isn’t in love with anyone yet , I’m not so alone.
Plus, I’m not alone at all. I have Liam.
Later at night I think of Ryan. Something about it was starting to bug me. It felt like I had bugs crawling all around my stomach and my face was feeling hot, I couldn’t tell what I was feeling. I just couldn’t stop thinking about Ryan though, thinking of his smile and that shine in his eyes. I bunched up my blankets and held them close to me, spooning it. I was still thinking about Liam though. I was imaging every detail of his face, his eyelashes, his teeth , every strands of hair on his eyebrows. It was like he was facing right in-front of me. I held my blankets a little tighter. My heart was still racing a bit...
I fell asleep thinking of him, it was probably the best I’ve ever slept. It usually takes me forever to fall asleep, but this time it felt more calming and peaceful. Of course, waking up was never peaceful.
(I’m not writing about him getting ready that’s too much work.)
I stumbled through school like a zombie because I was looking for one thing, except that one thing wasn’t brain, it was Ryan. I found my way to first period and sat right next to him. I saw his mouth slightly open, I noticed his dark braces and bright white teeth biting on his plumped bottom lip turning it into a darkish red. It made me blush a little but I just tried to ignore it.
“Did you do the math homework?” He asks as he looks up at me with his wide dark puppy eyes. I couldn’t resist talking to him of course..
“Oh.. uh yeah. Why?” I asked. I’d give him anything with those eyes he has. Whether it’s my math homework , all my cash or even my virginity.
That last one was a bit of a stretch. (Not really.)
“Oh I just wanted to compares yours to mine.” He says to me. I just submitted to it, I pulled out mine from my bag and placed it on my desk.
Before I knew it, he scooted his seat closer to me and looked at it in front of me. His head in front of my chin. I just wanted to pull him closer and stuff my face in his soft pretty hair for hours, suffocate myself in his beauty.
I could feel my face start to get hot and red the more and more he looked at my paper. It felt like hours, days, weeks and so on so forward. It felt like he was just here on purpose so I finally mustered up the courage to put my arm on his shoulder and ask him
“Are you done looking yet..?” I asked nervously
He turned around and unconsciously put his hand in between my legs. He laughed and his cheeks turned pink
“Oh— yeah. Sorry..” he said laughing a bit. He soon pulled away and sat normally in his seat. I saw his little smile the whole period as he did his worked and kicked his feet. God, he’s fucking killing me.
I was so done by the end of the period. I packed my bags and waited for him, it’s like he was constantly teasing me, it was lurching me.
I walked with him to his next class and then we went our seperate ways until we had our last class.
It felt like decades being separated from him. He was always there in the back of my head. ‘Ryan’. A name that suited him so well was playing on repeat in my head, like the Rythm to a song you just can’t find the name of.
period ELA. A double block, two more periods i get to see him in. It’s a joy.
I sit right next to him, again. He’s silent at first, doesn’t do much but nibble on his petite fingers and listens to our teacher. I glance at him to see if anything changes, nothing does. He still is just sitting there, looking pretty.
Soon, the teacher stops talking (finally.) and me and Ryan can go sit on the rug together and do our work.
“Cmon let’s go!” He says running to the rug. I see him catch a pillow and put it against the wall for us.
As I go to sit down against is Ryan sits right next to me, shoulders touching. He opens his laptop as if nothing is going on and starts to do his work. I try to ignore him as i dl my work but it’s hard not too when he’s all close and being, well, ryan. Soon he does what he does in first period.
ryan glances over my laptop to see what I’m doing again, it’s as if he’s torturing me. Before I could ask if he’s done, he pulls away and instead of going back to how he was, he puts his head on my shoulder. I freaked.
The blood rushed to my face and I felt it heat up and turn red. He talked to me as if he wasn’t all up on me and I tried my best to respond back but it’s hard when someone is unexpectedly cuddling you, in class.
He moved his head to the nook of my neck, lurching closer to me and feeling all my body heat and heart race.
“Can you hang out after school today?” It was a Friday. Of course I could. It was a unexpected question, it took me a minute to really get the words out of my system
“Yeah. We can have a sleep over at my house.” It was the first thought that came to mind. I wanted to have a sleep over with him, could I bare it? Hell no. I’d be up all night because of him, not like he’d be causing ruckus but he’d be just itching at the back of my head.
“That sounds fun!” He says with a wide smile. He put his arm on the one he was leaning on and rubbed it comfortingly. I tried to ignore it and continue doing my work. It was hard too though .
Before I knew it I was packing up and walking out of the school with Ryan. I wanted him to come over to my house, Ryan loved my house. Everytime he comes over he jumps onto my bed, as he wraps himself in blankets holds the pillows while laughing. He says I have the most comfortable bed ever. I usually just stood there and watched him, I never knew what else to do without being weird.
When we get to my house I take off my backpack and shoes. Ryan does the same and puts them right next to mine, it’s kind of cute in a way. We head up stairs to my room immediantly and Ryan does his thing. He jumps onto my bed and stuffs his face in all my blankets and pillows.
“I loooveee your bed so much” he says smiling and giggling. This time instead of just standing there I hopped onto my bed and sat right next to him.
“I know you do Ryan, you do this Everytime.” I tell him.
He just laughs back at me and rolls over, his head near my thigh. I thought he wouldn’t mind if I did this, so I ran my fingers threw his hair, feeling every bit of it.
He turned his head to the side and held onto my thigh like a baby.
“Mm.. keep doing that” he muttered in my leg, “it feels nice” . He didn’t have to tell me at all to keep going, I couldn’t resist myself from touching his soft and perfect hair. I rubbed and petted him, his eyes were shut from satisfaction.
Slowly but surely I could feel Ryan hand slide up my inner thigh , I blushed and tried to ignore it. I rubbed his cheeks and pampered him yet his hand was starting to make me, distracted. I just kept rubbing and feeling him, rubbing the back of his neck, his cheeks, his hair and under his chin. It was almost like it’s a little kitty cuddling against me, so soft and cute.
The more comfortable he got the more closer I felt him get to me, his hand move slowly up. It sent shivers down my spine when he reached the crevice of my inner thigh.
“Ryan..” I muttered to him. He looked up with his big eyes and gave me a ‘hm?’ . “Your hand . . .” He looked and realized what he was doing
“Oh— sorryyy…” he moved his hand over his face, usually when he blushed it’s because he’s smiling but this time he wasn’t smiling. Yet his face was bright red and hot, his hand was trying to cover it. I didn’t mean to make him get all flustered, but it was really cute. I kept rubbing and petting him like a little kitty , his face was hot and red. I could tell he liked it.
I couldn’t resist myself from going further.
I told him, “if you wanna be cuddled.. you can come closer to me.”
His eyes looked up at me and he slowly but surely got up, wrapping his legs around my back and sitting on my lap. He rested his head in the nook of my neck and held onto my torso with his arms. He was so adorable, yet the tension of when he sat on me and got this close was growing.
“Is this too much?” He muttered into my ear, hearing his soft and falsetto voice almost sent me into a coma. I held onto his torso aswell, lightly putting my hands on his waist. I could hear him ever so slightly whimper and the shivers that were sent down his spine.
“It’s all good.” I replied back to him, trying to act chill about this, obviously. Deep inside I was like an oven about to explode everywhere. I rubbed his waist and back softly, feeling the crevices of his torso. I could tell he was getting all shy, his heart was slightly racing, his face was glued to my neck, trying not moving an inch. I tried to be gentle with him, considering how easy he gets all flustered and how innocent he is. One wrong move and he’ll turn into a fire, I couldn’t tease such a perfect boy like that.
This is where I stopped writing . Thanx!! Prolly will write more idk..