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The hardest part about school would be the dull and dreary everyday that never seemed to change. It was boring in every aspect; the same formulas, the same questions, the same tests and assignments, over and over in this never ending loop.
But of course, every teenager had to put up with that sort of thing. There was no use fighting against the law, the norm, the expectations of your parents. Eventually, the end of the road was graduation, a small escape. Freedom before a career is set in stone.
Even so, Kamishiro Rui hates it.
Before transferring to Kamiyama High, he had attempted to go to a so-called "elite" high school. It seemed nice enough on paper: high university acceptance rate, a wide range of clubs, diverse and advanced classes. As soon as he got there, however, the year he spent was miserable.
Again, he was outcasted by his peers. Again, no one wanted to talk to him. The theatre club he had thought about joining—the faces the members made were unforgettable. Perhaps his reputation preceded him.
After that unfruitful endeavour, his childhood friend, Kusanagi Nene, had given him an offer.
"Come to Kamiyama with me, then."
With nothing better to do, he took up the offer. In retrospect, Rui was incredibly glad he did. There was finally a place he could belong—the ensemble cast of Wonderlands × Showtime had given him some sense of hope—and nothing had made him happier.
Until now.
There was another thing that Rui tried to ignore. As much as he fooled around and tested his inventions with Tenma Tsukasa, there was something else under that surface he refused to think about. So much so that he had pushed it to the back of his priorities, ignoring the fact it was still there.
But then the inevitable happens, and he remembers it as soon as he passes through the hallways, hearing something he shouldn't have heard.
It's the familiar head of blond down the hall. He's talking to his classmates, sure. They're probably just joking around. Yeah. Probably.
"Tenma-san, what about you? Anyone you're interested in?"
"Ah… Um," there's some reluctance. Rui's too deep into this conversation investigation to pry himself away.
"Y-Yeah, there's XX-san… I think she's…"
Even from where he was standing from down the hallways, he can't help but recognise the burning red behind Tsukasa's ears. It contrasted greatly with his hair and skin, after all.
But after hearing his suspicions get confirmed, he can feel his heart drop.
He has to hold his breath and drag himself away. That was normal, right? Boys and girls usually get together at the peak of adolescence—he's seen it happen before, he's guilty of it too.
So why did hearing that feel so… wrong?
Even throughout their usual Wonderlands × Showtime rehearsals, he thinks about it. This unknown girl, who had caught the eyes of their beloved main lead, their star. The one who didn't deserve to watch the stage that he shone on, a girl who would never outshine Tenma Tsukasa.
He has to persuade himself to put his emotions aside to watch them rehearse, to scrutinise the script for a little bit longer.
But, to be honest, Rui is at his wit's end. The sun starts to set, and he walks back home, contemplating his own inadequacy as the streetlights dim.
For plays, for shows, and for the sake of being their director, Rui knows little about romance. He's knowledgeable enough to write a decent script of it when needed, but beyond that, his personal experience adds up to none. Or perhaps that was a semi-lie: it was more like he didn't give it that much thought. Not until now.
The day his emotions are splayed out in front of him like an unsolvable puzzle comes much too soon. He's forced to acknowledge that these feelings would never be able to be logically solved. As much as he could read about it or study other instances, his own heart can't begin to fathom it at all.
"It's just a general expression of a positive sentiment, is it not?" Rui finds himself speaking to the screen of definitions.
Despite trying to tell his heart that it was just that, the denial of his actual feelings only leaves him more out of place. He isn't sure what to think of this anymore, how to handle the illicit feelings that he harboured for another boy. It wasn't right; it wasn't approved by his parents, by the law, by the people around him. He'd just be labelled more as a freak than he already was.
But it wasn't like he could just… force this random girl away from Tsukasa, right?
"..."
He's shocked at his own realisations. Because he could. He totally could. A bit of careful planning, and—
"Rui!"
What a total pain.
Before he realises it, he's going through files and documents and the yearbooks of multiple schools and Kamiyama's own. He's scouring through the half-broken webpage of their high school, pictures and social media and—
Now he knows everything about this XX-chan. She's just some regular girl. She's just the run of the mill mob character. She doesn't matter to him. Perhaps she was one in the crowd of their shows, or a frequent PXL customer. Either way, Rui still continued to feel extreme insecurity. Because it boiled down to two simple facts.
One. Tsukasa liked this girl.
Two. Rui, himself, was not a girl, nor was he this girl.
And that was really all it took for him to rub his temples, sighing, staring at the garage ceiling. The multiple windows open on his monitors glared back at him. Judging him for his actions. Even as guilt wrecked his insides, turmoil forming at the bottom of his intestines, he couldn't find himself caring about it. But he was still able to hate himself. The dim lighting of the room didn't help, either. What was there to realise? What else was there to solve? With an equation as vague as this one, he ends up with multiple answers but ultimately none.
It's as though he had stepped into the gates of hell and looked behind him.
No one appreciated Tenma Tsukasa more than him, Kamishiro Rui. He was the only one that could make the star shine brighter than it already has. It should stay that way. At least for the time being. Envy turned a person green, and Rui wasn't above that. Because of course he wasn't. He was human, after all. Not that he remembered that currently, when jealousy washed over him like a tsunami. A shame, really.
So he sets up a plan. Asking out the alleged on a quiet afternoon with no plans after school. An idea he wants to present.
Those gleaming golden eyes don't suspect a thing.
"I'll do anything you ask for, Rui."
He has to hold back a grin.
The yellow cardigan worn properly against his school shirt. His haphazard prim tie. The sleeves that were slightly too small on him. Dazzling eyes and an innocent neck.
As though it were a gift ready to be unwrapped.
A gift just for Rui.
"Eh, Rui?"
"You said anything, right?"
"Y-Yeah, I'll do anything with 12,000% capability…?" He gets a questioning look. "Wh, what are you—"
Rui's fast. He locks the door to the classroom. Quick, prideful strides towards the boy that stared at him in shock.
With one movement, he has Tsukasa pinned on a table. The setting sun continues to dye the classroom orange hues, despite the waning clouds that scattered against the sky. And then, before Tsukasa could struggle, Rui pulls off his tie and wraps it around the boy's wrists. Escape would be more difficult now.
Well, he had no plans on letting Tsukasa escape to begin with.
"H-Hey, Rui, come on, you don't have to go this far to…" His sentence trails off halfway, as panic sets in when Rui unbuckles the belt under his yellow cardigan. His uniform pants are quickly discarded onto the floor, along with his underwear.
Rui can't help but love the terrified look in Tsukasa's brilliant eyes. There was just something about this usual loudmouth suddenly regulating each breath and attempting to whisper, all of which was in vain.
"But I do have to go this far, Tsukasa-kun," Rui says, gripping his thighs apart, and dousing his own dick in lube. The remainder is smeared onto that unwelcome hole, as he quickly forces a finger in. "It seems you don't understand yet; despite everything I've done for you. Because, no matter how many formulas I'm able to memorise, no matter how much I attempt to logically solve my own feelings… My findings turn up in nothing, an equation impossible to solve."
Tsukasa's squirming under him, teary-eyed, biting his lower lip to stop himself from screaming. He can fit three fingers inside now, the mushy flesh squeezing against each digit. It's warm. It's endearing.
He presses the tip against the entrance.
"XX-chan, was it? She would never be able to satisfy you here."
The entrance is tight. That doesn't matter too much, though, not when the walls grip onto him like a lifeline.
As he began to move, Tsukasa's thighs twitched; his navel convulsing upwards, back arched into a beautiful bridge.
"Nngh…!"
It takes a lot of effort not to thrust it all in, not to cum immediately, so he quietly sets his pace—a careful rhythm at first—and then speeds up as he's able to force more of himself inside. Tsukasa is looking up at him with angry eyes, fingers clenched tightly, his legs trying to close at each movement. But Rui keeps them open, even as Tsukasa struggles more against his grip. The warmth around his length was truly amazing. Despite the denial of the eyes and mouth, the body's entrance only ushered him further inwards.
His hand trails upwards to unbutton that beloved yellow cardigan. To unbutton that white uniform shirt, to see that chest laid bare. Pink buttons stood upright; the nubs swelling into a darker hue as he decides to bite and pinch them.
"R-Rui!"
A scream turned whisper; a protest against his undoing.
"Don't bite t-there..! Ah, y-you, seriously…" His voice trails down quieter and quieter, as he reluctantly gives up and lets Rui explore his chest. "Mmgh…"
In combination with a thrust, Rui began to bite down on his skin, leaving red marks and bruises as he went. A pitiful sight in contrast to the once unblemished skin.
How cruel. Against the desk of the girl Tsukasa liked—he was deflowered and sullied with the embrace of another boy. Rui was drunk on this idea, unsatisfied due to his buried inferiority—he would never be a girl. He would never have a normal romantic relationship with another boy.
And then he finds the spot.
"Not there! No—h-hey look, Rui—ah…!"
Tsukasa is hiding his face with his hands, covering the reddening cheeks rosy with embarrassment. A single movement against that spot, and Tsukasa is shaking, trembling, desperate to hold in his moans.
"I see, you like it here."
Rui decides to mark Tsukasa's neck; roughly pulling aside those hands to see a teary face, staring up at him in betrayal. The unblemished skin underneath that dishevelled white collar stared up at him. Beckoning. He bites down hard enough to draw blood, making sure that Tsukasa doesn't notice, pounding away at his abused prostate. Finding just the right angle to make Tsukasa squirm all over that girl's desk.
Noisy. Irritated, Rui pulls down his own tie, and shoves it into Tsukasa's mouth.
"Mmgh! Nghh!"
Wrapped neatly around his head, canines biting into the thick fabric, drool dribbling down that chin. Incredibly unbefitting of a star. But befitting of,
"A slut."
Tsukasa shakes his head desperately, fear finally setting in.
"Tsukasa-kun, I still haven't put it all in. It'd be nice if you could… open up a bit more, hm?"
Those once quiet legs had suddenly jolted, and started trying to kick him away. Rui smiles, continuing the assault into the hole. He pushes himself further in, until he reaches a certain barrier at the end of the tunnel.
"Open up, Tsukasa-kun," Rui says, tucking back a hair strand. "Because I'm going to breach your colon."
"Nghh! Ngh! Ngh!"
There's that desperate look again in those wonderful golden eyes.
"I'll be taking your second virginity before XX-chan. Fitting, as your director, to take all your firsts."
Just a little bit more, and that entrance beyond will open up. Just a little bit more, and he'll see the melty lands of heaven in that second the gates open.
Just a little more, and he'll have it all.
"Aha!" Rui pushes forward a little more, proud of himself. "Do you feel that, Tsukasa-kun?"
A slight bulge at the bottom of his stomach is all it takes for Tsukasa's body to jolt awake again. Disbelief-ridden eyes stare at it in horror, especially when Rui presses a thumb against it.
"How spoiled," He coos. "To have it rubbed from the inside and out."
But the fun doesn't truly begin until Rui moves. Each thrust continued to breach that second entrance, prying it further open, the fleshy insides welcoming him while the rest of the body rejected him.
He doesn't even notice Tsukasa's cum, splattered against his navel. Not when Rui was chasing after his own release, pressing away at those sensitive spots again. Grinding away at the tightness of Tsukasa's walls—clenched inside the halls of pleasure.
As he comes to his own release, he realises he's still rock hard, still raring to go.
Another round immediately after that wouldn't hurt, he justifies to himself, sending another ripple of pleasure to Tsukasa's body. The skin is still trembling around him, sweat beginning to crawl down those beautiful thighs. His chest was also heaving desperately; breasts upright, almost as if they were asking to be sucked.
And then there were the lines of his collarbones. Well-defined, moving in tandem to his heartbeats. Rui takes a bite out of them, chewing tenderly, trying his best so that it doesn't hurt—but for it to leave a mark. He smiles thinking about how Tsukasa wouldn't be able to change clothes in front of anyone for a while, his skin dressed in marks of their time together in this locked classroom.
His hands are impure. Tainting the chrysanthemum before him. Ravishing the flower as though he were starving, alone in a desert with no oasis. Even as guilt wrecked pain throughout his body, he chose to ignore it. To destroy everything that he held onto, just for this moment. To hell with friendship and love and romance. Rui didn't need that anyway. As long as he could keep making shows. As long as he could keep performing. That was all he needed. After this, his hands would come clean. He could rid himself of his own impurity by sheathing it into someone else.
The vessel known as Tenma Tsukasa.
After struggling against each other, the restraints have been loosened enough that Tsukasa can move again. Surprisingly, he doesn't unsheathe himself, and instead begins to speak. The volume of his voice is quieter than usual. Not the boisterous 120 dB that he usually spoke at. Instead, it was more reserved, even if the strength of his voice denied it.
"You," Tsukasa says between heaved breathes, "have the completely wrong idea, Rui!"
He's still squirming underneath his embrace, without rejection now, and instead some sort of complacency.
"You idiot! Idiot Rui! Isn't it obvious by now," he breathes, punching against his chest, "that you've got it all wrong!"
"..."
"That girl… She just helped me out with something, that's all… I didn't think you'd…"
"..."
"Nevermind. Point is, I never wanted to date her! Not when… not when…"
Tsukasa's voice trails off into a whisper.
"Not when I have you…"
There's an invention that Rui's been meaning to try out. He had especially wanted it to be used on Tsukasa, and he never really had the chance for it. That is, well, not until now.
Since that day in the classroom, Tsukasa had been suspiciously more quiet than ever. His stupor and desire to stand out had mellowed out tremendously. It was obvious to all of his classmates, even to passerbys, that something was wrong.
Tsukasa would also avert his eyes from Rui, fear laid evident, but of course he had no idea what to expect next. This is because it had been a few days since they last spoke, after all.
During one lunch time, Rui calls Tsukasa to the bathroom of the third floor. Tsukasa has no right to refuse, not when pictures of his deflowering were still potent for his heart.
"What is it now." He says to Rui, in a quiet voice, staring at the floor.
"Aw, you don't have to be so dejected, Tsukasa-kun. I just wanted to try a new invention."
Of course, this did not quell any of Tsukasa's discomfort.
Rui takes out a phallic object from his bag, and smiles at him.
"I tried making something I thought you'd like! It can change shape inside you, self lubricate, vibrate… Anyway, come here."
"..."
He's flustered.
He's incredibly embarrassed just thinking about it.
But he doesn't reject it.
So he ends up tied up in a nondescript bathroom stall far away, a sex toy deep inside him, with only a blindfold and a mouth gag to have him keep a shred of his decency. The room is eerily quiet apart from the sound of his own heaving; and the feeling of something writhing inside of him.
Rui had gone to class and left him like this.
With the thoughts of someone else seeing him like this, and the feeling of an object grinding against the spots he was most sensitive, he climaxed over and over. The feeling was unimaginable before this. It was impossible to feel this way. Or, at least, he thought it was. The disgusting pleasure that wrecked all aspects of his flesh said otherwise. He can even feel the ripples of Rui's touch on his skin—careful fingers, yet callous in every way—even as they inserted the foreign object into him. The plastic whirred quietly. His walls clenched against it through reflex. He could feel it move up and down, he could feel it churn his insides out.
He tries to relax against the feeling. It doesn't work, because of course it doesn't, he's going to be tormented with this thing inside him until Rui comes back. And then he's going to get fucked senseless until he can't walk. Or, if he can, people will notice the wobble in his steps and the panting. How his face will be flushed with memories of the act. His skin will reveal to the world his most embarrassing moments, sticky with sweat, lost in boundless pleasure.
The thought ends up just making him cum again. Tsukasa bites down further into the cloth gagging him, leaving behind another trail of saliva that slides down his chin.
He can feel his own heavy breathing and his heart inside his chest ready to burst. His thighs hurt from holding this position for so long, ankles chained to his upper legs, keeping him spread open. His wrists, too, were tied tightly to the bondage at his feet.
He's sure by now there won't be any cum left inside of him.
If there was, it wouldn't be there very soon. His lower half was sticky with everything that came out, especially as he rode out each orgasm with muffled screams.
God, this was shameful.
But all he could do was wait. Experience patience. Tell himself that a reward would come, it would come soon, he just had to restrain himself for a bit longer. He just had to wait. Even as his legs tried to rub together for friction, or to protect the little pride he had left.
Reciprocation wasn't part of the equation. Not until Rui had heard those words echo quietly against his skin. It was like something was truly amiss. He didn't expect this, not after committing vile acts of indecency. Would he still be loved after this? Would he still be seen as a good person? Probably not, he concludes in half a second, sweating at the thought of forgiveness.
But here he was. Tsukasa looked at him with expectant eyes; clear despite the moments of disrepair that happened merely minutes ago. His mouth was still slightly open from the heat, from the moaning as a reaction from the rape between his legs. God, this was going to be the death of him.
Rui shouldn't have done this. If he hadn't, guilt wouldn't claw at his spine. Regret wouldn't sink in so fast. Remorse wouldn't taint his very wretched fingers.
The rest of the world was against him, but the boy he defiled didn't seem to mind at all.
Instead of repenting, he slowly pushes into that flesh slightly further. He relishes in the heaving of the mouth above, hands pressed against his chest, eyes watering from lust. Instead, he feels sorry for the girl's desk they just defiled.
His mouth moves before his brain does. He locks his jaw into the mouth in front of him, pressing tenderly, lips to lips. Tongue slowly reaches the upper echelon of that mouth, slowly tracing the shape, if only to remember the body he was holding in dull embrace. Reciprocation felt good. Reciprocation meant it was fine after all. Reciprocation held like a chainsaw against his heart.
Rui was at a crossroads.
Despite it all, he parts his mouth from Tsukasa's, and takes out his phone.
"Wha—"
Click.
An image of the moment where they were connected. He watches Tsukasa's face squirm in anger, reaching to tug down at Rui's clothes. He lets it happen.
"What was that for?!"
It's a whisper-scream.
"Are you listening to me!? Delete that!!"
Rui puts his phone away again. He only smiles in response.
Now things would go as planned. He's meant to be hated. He's meant to star as the villain. The role that he casts for himself has always been that way.
Tsukasa looks up at him, teary-eyed, skin flushed red all over. The pale contrast between his collarbones to the colour that travelled up behind his ears.
"Y-You…" Rui makes a slight movement, sinking in and out of his hole. The slow thrusts were enough to drive the blond boy under him on edge.
"You're the worst…"
The exact words he wanted to hear, even as arms engulfed his neck, pulling him closer.
Rui comes back to make a mess of him. He's already a mess to begin with, but the feeling of cum in his ass had really solidified the deal. Was he just a hole to this guy? A fleeting thought, absolutely crushed when there are murmurs in his ear.
"Please bear my children. Please let me take you. Please get pregnant."
It sends shivers down his spine. He physically can't get pregnant. He knows that, but despite it all, he just nods his head.
"Okay. Okay, I-I will."
He bites down on his bottom lip to stop himself from saying more, to stop the indecent sounds escaping his mouth.
"I love you," said with another thrust in-between confessions, "I love you so much."
Rui becomes difficult when he's like this. Eyes burning down into him, watching for every reaction, waiting for Tsukasa to say it back.
"I l-love you too," he says quietly, arms against a fragile neck, pulling the other closer.
"You're terrible, but I love you."
Rui finishes inside him again, nearly teary-eyed, as regret washes all over his face.
It's a quiet walk home. Their attendance is as tardy as usual, having gotten worse due to their… recent adventures. One thing has changed between them, though. From fellow cast members, from a director and troupe member—they were in between the lines of friendship and romance.
Tsukasa was still angry about their initial experience. It was for that reason that silence was strung between them. It was for that reason they hadn't taken the next step. They still hadn't talked about it properly. If anything, it was something they decided to ignore all together. Only when either one of them was in the mood would they relinquish the beginning of it all, forceful and loveless.
But maybe, for the time being, that was okay. Maybe Rui could hold onto this relationship he had controlled since the start. If things were in that sort of balance, he could appease to himself—tell himself that he was in the wrong, that he deserved every bad thing that happened to him—and ignore the desire for reciprocation at the back of his mind. Because if he acknowledged that, he'd be going off script.
If he acknowledged that, then he would have to face the consequences of his own fake indifference.