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She never remembers her dreams once she woke up. If she was lucky, maybe she could hang onto it for a few minutes before it slipped away, she’d be able to see his face vividly for a few minutes in her wakefulness. She’d been in love with him for months but he made sure she was well and truly rejected. It was her biggest regret. She didn’t tell him she loved him after he rejected her, before he turned feral and begged her to take care of him. He’d been gone for months now and she missed him more and more everyday.
This dream felt different. This felt like a memory that wasn’t hers. She was in a beautiful home surrounded by trees and plants. A huge kitchen with giant paintings hanging above a table. It was lived in and very well loved. She felt different, her jumpsuit was gone, replaced by a beautiful purple cocktail dress. Lucy felt her hair, it was done up in curls and pinned out of her face. She could feel every pin, the rings on her left ring finger, the pearl earrings hanging from her ears, the soft velvet of her dress, and the cool air from the AC. A door opened and closed upstairs and someone was coming down the stairs behind her.
“Ready, angel?” Her heart pounded when she heard that familiar voice. She felt her eyes well up with burning tears, her chest tightened. “Lucy?” She burst into tears when she saw him.
She was shocked to see him. He was complete; smooth skin, nose, hair. She loved him as a ghoul. She’d love him no matter what, but seeing him like this took her breath away. “Cooper?”
“Lucy! Honey, what’s wrong?” Cooper, handsome and whole, ran to his wife. She threw her arms around him and sobbed.
“I miss you so much!” She cried. She never got to hold him, to be held by him, until he was already going feral. She held him as he died. After he died. Before she buried him and cried herself to sleep on his grave. Cooper pulled away, looking at her confused.
“What are you talkin’ about, hon?” He asked with a laugh. “We’ve been together all day.” He kissed her cheek. She kissed him.
She didn’t know what this was but she didn’t want to wake up to him being gone. To being alone in the Wasteland without him by her side. To random fits of crying. To the massive regret she was living with and sometimes she wished she’d gone with him. Lucy started sobbing again.
“Hey, hey. You’re starting to worry me, love.” Cooper told her, wiping her tears from her eyes. “Why don’t we skip this party and talk about this, ok?” She nodded, not wanting to let go of him.
“Okie dokie.” She told him with a nod.
He sat her down on the sofa and got her a glass of water. Cooper sat down next to her, his heart sinking when he saw she was still silently crying. He pulled out his handkerchief to dab at her tears. “What’s going on, love?” She took a deep breath and told him everything. The bombs, The Vaults, the Wasteland, her father, the doctor, The Ghoul, Shady Sands, everything. To say he was worried and shocked was an understatement.
“Honey, none of that happened.” He told her gently. “We won the war. The Communists are defeated, once and for all. Vault-Tec, and several other major corporations, were shut down after a federal investigation.” He told her, holding her to him. “Nothing’s going to happen to me, I promise. I plan to live a long, happy life with you.”
She was so confused. It was so real and she couldn’t remember anything that happened in this life, how they met, moving here, their wedding, her job, their friends and family. It didn’t make much sense at all. Lucy mourned that. She wanted this history with Cooper she never had in The Wasteland. A safe, happy life in a beautiful home with him healthy and whole. To be able to love him without worrying about losing him. To not worry about where their next meal was coming from or if they had enough vials.
“Now, why didn’t you tell this other Cooper, The Ghoul, that you were in love with him?” Cooper asked his wife. “That doesn’t sound like the Lucy I know.” He asked her with a grin.
“You—He rejected me. He told me he wouldn’t wish his wretched, broken body on anyone. That he didn’t have the ability to love me. That he was living on borrowed time. He told me that he didn’t want to break my heart like that.” Tears fell down her taunt, sticky cheeks again. “My heart broke anyways.” She told him, remembering the sad, desperate look in his eyes when he realized he was going to have to leave her alone out in the Wasteland for good. His dry, broken voice as he kept repeating “I’m Cooper Howard. My name is Cooper.” over and over and growling and screaming until his voice cracked. It was a horrible way to finally learn his name and it broke her all over again. No matter how much she asked, he never told her. He told her that man was long gone, that name was lost with him. Lucy could still hear that voice say his last words after nearly three centuries on this earth, “I’m so sorry, Lucy. Don’t cry, angel.” She buried her head in her hands, remembering his skull blown open, brains sprayed in the wind, and him motionless in the dirt in a place he’d once seen lush and vibrant in a previous life. She curled up beside him, her chest aching from sobbing. She thought she couldn’t get enough air, that she would stop breathing, and didn’t care. Lucy wouldn’t mind following him to what ever afterlife awaited them. He had been everything to her. She wanted to live a long life by his side in any way he would allow her to. Lucy was convinced that, over time, she could convince him she truly loved him, Ghoulish body and twisted heart and all. “I loved him more than anything.” She said and looked at the Cooper of the here-and-now.
He was the man her Ghoul had been ages ago. Generations had lived and died between the time this man walked the earth and her Ghoul was buried. This was what the Wasteland had destroyed in him and she had desperately wanted to bring back. The kind, caring man that she saw under the scarred visage of The Ghoul. Still, she loved The Ghoul, no matter how mutated he was, inside and out.
Cooper told her their story, pushing aside the worry of what was happening with her for now. They’d met when she was working as a personal assistant for a witch of an actress who was co-staring with Cooper. He was divorced for years, no children, and thought he, at 45, was too old for the 26-year-old. It was Lucy who pursued him. It didn’t take much for her to make herself at home in his heart. He was head-over heels and knew he wanted to marry her after their second date. It was her smile he first fell in love with, then everything else she revealed about herself was absolute perfection to him. She was kind, intelligent, strong willed, compassionate. Too good for him in so many ways. She was everything a man could ever hope for and he was dumbfounded that the woman chose a washed up, old actor like him to spend the rest of her life with. Lucy was his whole world and he would do anything for her. He’d never loved someone like her. He was always thankful that he had this chance to find her in this stage of his life.
“Maybe that was all just a dream?” He asked her, rubbing her arm to try to calm her. She shook her head.
“No, I never remember my dreams and this was so real, Cooper.” She told him. Neither of them understood what was going on. He was still upset by her distress.
“Darlin’, what ever you need right now, I’ll do it for you.” He told her, at a complete loss as to what to do.
“I don’t know, Cooper. I don’t understand what’s happening.” She told him with a sigh.
Maybe this wasn’t a dream? Maybe this was her second chance with him. That this wasn’t a dream but some alternative timeline that where the world had never been destroyed by the bombs. She could live here and be happy with Cooper. She knew she loved this Cooper, probably just as much as her Ghoul. She could feel that same intense emotion towards him, like he was her home. The memories of this place felt just out of reach, on the tip of her tongue.
“Darlin’?” He asked her. Lucy smiled that gorgeous smile he fell in love with and kissed him.
“I'll be ok, Cooper.” She told him, her eyes watering again, frustrating her.
"Don't cry, angel." He said and kissed her tear stained cheek.