Chapter Text
May 26, XXXX.
Every day was the same.
Toya would wake up (he wanted to stay in bed), avoid his father (although it felt wrong), walk to school (contemplate life), work (did his hard work even matter?); and lastly, play piano in his school’s music classroom.
Toya didn’t necessarily like piano, but the longer he stalled, the longer he wouldn’t have to go home. Of course, the only reason Toya’s dad lets him stay at school is because he’s practicing the piano. Otherwise, he’d demand Toya come home and practice alongside him, chastising him for choosing trivial matters over piano.
Toya had figured he wouldn’t be able to burden anyone if he burrowed away in a classroom at the back of his school. No one would ask where he was, because he didn’t matter. No one would ask him for help with their work, because he wasn’t able to be found. A mystery, perhaps. Toya liked it that way.
In a way, this classroom was just like him. Toya thought the way he saw himself in relevance to a classroom was sort of pathetic.
Toya refocused himself to his piano, steadying his hands over the black and white keys. His hands remained to hover as he began to recap on the events of the day, closing his eyes.
Toya bumped into a girl in the hallway. He’d helped her up. She was always tripping… Every single day, she fell.
A book fell down in the library. Toya picked it up and helped organize the shelves.
Toya ate alone on the rooftop. What did he eat? He couldn’t remember. It was the same thing every day.
Nothing much had occurred, but Toya still felt drained. Everything was… monotonous. Just like the keys below him, the keys he avoided like an allergy in the spring. Why did he choose to turn out this way? What could he have done different?
With the tip of his finger, Toya harshly pressed down a key; whether this was out of anger or remorse, he wasn’t sure. The setting sun just barely peeked through the windows of the forlorn classroom, subtly brightening the keys of the piano. Toya closed his eyes. The warmth of the sun was… nice. The classroom suddenly didn’t seem all that lonely anymore.
Suddenly, the door to the classroom singed open before slamming shut. The sheer velocity of the sound knocked Toya out of his train of thought.
Who could possibly be going around opening doors like that? I thought… I thought I was the only person who even bothered to enter this classroom.
It appears not, Toya again thought, as he made eye contact with someone he’d never seen before. Orange hair… Green eyes… A bandage on his left arm… something about him seemed familiar. Deep down, Toya trusted his instinct; however, he didn’t want to let his guard down.
This is… This is new. How long has it been since… Something has changed?
The orange-haired boy’s hair was bright: almost like the sun illuminating the room. Yet, he seemed tired. He was panting, his arms resting against the door. When he glanced at Toya, he’d almost looked… distressed.
“This is… this is not how I wanted us to meet for the first time.”
… What?
The latter sighed, grabbing harshly onto his own left arm. Was he in pain? Where did… Who is he?
The room was silent. Toya, sitting at his piano bench, and the orange-haired boy, breathing heavily with his back against the door. Both were waiting for the other to say something, anything… but this situation left both Toya and the person against the door at a loss for words.
After all this time, the orange-haired boy hadn’t looked away from Toya. The expression he’d worn just seconds before evaporated into one of gratitude. He looked at Toya as if… he’d been awaiting him.
Why is he… looking at me like that?
The sun-reminiscent boy moved away from the door and closer to Toya, who sat still at his piano bench.
The sunlit other grabbed onto Toya’s shoulders. Toya flinched. This felt familiar, too. “Oh my god. Oh my God. I— To— Aoyagi… You’re really here. I— I didn’t think I’d ever see you again… not after what happened…” Just gently, he squeezed Toya’s shoulders; if this was out of anger or reassurance, Toya was unable to tell.
Who is he? Why do I… why do I feel like I’ve known him before?
…
“How do you know my name..? What are you… talking about?” The other’s grip on Toya’s shoulders loosened, but he didn’t let go.
“… I forgot. You forgot. I’m going to have to explain, aren’t I?” The orange-haired boy glanced down, sighing. Yet, he didn’t appear upset. His eyes were offset away from Toya’s own, but he was smiling. Was he glad? Was he hurt? Both, possibly?
“I’d like that. But first…” The orange-haired boy’s head perked up, awaiting an answer from the other. “Please, tell me your name.” It was almost funny, the way the two were within such close proximity of each other… Yet, one didn’t even know the other’s name. The orange-haired boy seemed to also have made this observation, as he began to laugh.
The other didn’t even attempt to compose himself before answering. “Shinonome Akito. You can call me Akito. It’s an honor to meet you, Aoyagi.” Pain was subtle in Akito’s voice, as it faintly shook and trembled along with the words that rolled out of his mouth.
(Still, that endearing smile never left his face. Toya wondered why.)
“In that case, you may call me Toya as well.” Akito’s eyes brightened, his glare lifting from the floor and into Toya’s eyes.
Akito removed his left hand from Toya’s shoulder. If Toya hadn’t been paying such delicate attention to the other, he wouldn’t have noticed his hand curling into a fist.
“I have a feeling there’s more to this than what meets the eye.”
Akito’s lips furled inwards. “There is. There’s a lot… most of which I don’t know how to explain. But I’ll do my best. For you. ”
That last part was hardly audible, but with the two’s closeness, Toya acknowledged what Akito had said and took it to heart. “Thank you, Akito. That’s all I’d ever ask for.”
It sure felt like Toya had known Akito a lot longer than 2 minutes. What was happening?
“You may want to take a couple deep breaths… and please, refrain from calling me insane along the way.”
Just as Akito had asked, I took a few deep breaths. Then, he began to speak.
“You’re in the wrong reality. In my world, you died 8 months ago. The police called it suicide. I called it murder. I knew you wouldn’t do that. After chasing to avenge you for 7 months, I finally made it here… the only condition being that I offer my soul to the devil. I only have 4 days to make things right before my soul is forgotten. You’re in a time loop, and I’m here to help you escape it.”
…
I didn’t try and stop the look of shock crawling onto my face.
… Just how much did I mean to Akito for him to offer his soul to the devil to save me?
“You… What?” Akito almost looked like he was resisting the urge to laugh. “It’s almost funny,” His hands trembled on my shoulders, “How far I’ve come to find you.”
Me? Important to someone..?
Okay, maybe all of this was totally crazy. But it’s something. Something new. Something familiar . And if it was with this boy, Toya was willing to do whatever it took. Whatever it took… to find what was important about him, too.
“Even if I did agree to this, how would you take me back to your world?”
Akito sighed, shaking his head. “I’m going to be straightforward with you… because the last thing I’d want to do after coming this far would be to sugarcoat my words.”
…
“I’m going to have to murder you.”
Toya hoped Akito couldn’t feel him jump as those words tangled themselves in the atmosphere of the classroom.
And despite his fear…
“… Please, give me more details.”
Toya wanted to know more. Akito was willing to share. For him. “There’s another way, but it’s highly unlikely to happen. To discover the unforeseen portal to the underworld… one that only opens once a year. I ruled that option out a while back. I didn’t want it to be this way, but… You have to trust me, alright?”
Toya nodded, to which Akito sighed a sigh laced with relief.
It doesn’t matter how I kill you, it just has to be me. I have to be the last to touch you before you take your final breath… or else you’ll live this same day over again. May 26th, the day after your birthday… that’s the day you died. Or, in other terms, the first and last day of your life.”
…
Toya continued to listen.
“But there’s no easy way to die. And even if there were… allowing someone to kill you is quite the endeavor. Especially someone… you have less than a day to get to know. That person being me, Akito Shinonome. If you allow me to do this… I’ll be the last face you’ll ever see. Are you okay with that?”
.. Am I?
“... I…” The words Toya had wanted to say stuck to his throat as Akito stared up at him with glistening eyes. Someway, somehow… he didn’t want to let him down.
“I’ll do it. At this point… I don’t have much else to live for, anyways. Truthfully… The only thing keeping me here was this classroom and, ironically, the thing I avoid most… piano.”
I don’t want to be weak anymore. I don’t want to run away.
“You… you really…? You don’t know how much this means to me. This… this…” Akito’s voice trailed off as Toya leveled himself with Akito, smiling at him in such a way that Akito found himself at a loss for words.
“Shh. You’ve said all you needed to say, have you not? At this rate, you’re going to tire yourself out so much that you’ll be unable to kill me.”
“Gosh… How can you say something like that so casually?” Toya didn’t know. But for once, it was okay to not have an answer. It was okay… not to know. Because right now, It was just them. Nothing else was there: nothing but the moon and the sun (and possibly, even the light that lit up Akito’s face. Toya wouldn’t comment on something like that, though. Would that not be impolite?)
“This may be a bit blunt of me, but I don’t know. I just… I feel comfortable, I suppose.” Akito scoffed and nudged Toya in his side. “You’re hilarious, you know? You’re allowed to be happy, partner.
Partner…
Again, Toya found himself unable to comprehend the meaning behind Akito’s words. He was unbothered by this conclusion, determining he rather liked the label.
…
The two stood together in silence. An understanding between the two was mutual: this understanding being that words would only complicate the moment.
Though no words were exchanged, the sun only continued to set. The room was dusked in a faint pink color before either of the duo spoke.
“Akito, how do you plan to kill me?” Toya’s words were warm, fresh, out of the blue … just enough to get the attention of the sun-dusted other.
“I… I’m not sure. I figured you wouldn’t agree at all, so I didn’t think much in advance… Is there a way you’d be okay with dying?”
“If I may ask… How did I die in your world, Akito? If it’s alright with you… I’d like to die now just as I did 8 months ago.” Akito’s eyes moved away from Toya and to the window allowing warmth into the room, sighing.
“You were pronounced dead at 2:35 in the morning. A knife was stabbed into your heart, causing you to die. Simple, but… horrible. I remember getting a phone call informing me of this from Tsukasa just minutes after this, as he wailed over the phone along with your sister, Saki… It was tragic.”
Tsukasa..? Saki? Those are names I haven’t… heard in a long while.
“Your funeral was held just 2 weeks after that. It was dark. I knew that if you were there, you wouldn’t have liked it… because knowing you, you were so much more than a dark, sad church. You were… you were everything. I don’t know how I made it this long without you.”
Without hesitation, Toya wrapped Akito in an embrace. Again, it was silent. “I’m sorry for… all of this trouble. If only I’d…” “No, Toya… Don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault that all of this happened… or that you don’t remember.” Akito began to tremble, to which Toya hugged Akito tighter—Toya’s reassurance was poured into this embrace, and Akito knew. Somehow, Akito always knew. What had Toya ever done to deserve someone that understood him so well?
The hug didn’t last for much longer before Akito broke contact, moving to sit on the ground. Besides him, Toya laid down.
“Why are you… lying down?” Toya slightly turned his head, repositioning it so that he could see Akito from the angle he was at. “I’m waiting.” Akito tilted his head, seemingly confused.
“Waiting? For what?” This time, Toya was the one to clench his fist. “For you.”
Akito paused, contemplating the words Toya had just said… He then gasped and moved closer to Toya, concerned for his partner. “What? No… You don’t have to be vulnerable like that. It…. It hurts to see you with such a pained expression.”
“I don’t know how you do it. You’re so strong, and I’m just… I’m just me.”
Akito winced as he saw Toya smiling that dumb, idiotic, absolutely-nothing-in-my-brain look that he’d come to love and cherish. “And that’s what makes you so strong, too. You’re you. Isn’t that enough?” No response came from the other, but he smiled back at Toya.
I don’t think… I don’t think I matter as much as he says I do. Even so… he’s just as familiar now as he was… 8 months ago. How is he the exact same, even in an alternate universe?
Toya didn’t move. His mind was set on dying, but Akito, the person who’d proposed the offer, had frozen. He had the knife in his pocket in case Toya responded exactly as he did now, but killing someone close to you is difficult, especially when they don’t care at all for their own life. It makes you feel guilty… even if Akito had a reason.
It’s all going to happen all over again.
Akito pulled the knife out of his pocket.
I can’t…
The knife hovered above Toya’s chest. Akito was trying to remain professional. He’d waited so long for this moment… but now, when the moment had finally arrived and Toya’s future was in his hands, Akito was trembling in fear. His hair covered his eyes and he was sure his expression appeared sullen…
Yet, Toya continued to wait for him.
And he waited, and waited, and waited… waited until the clock struck 11:59 PM. Akito glared intensely at the clock in the classroom, aware he only had 60 seconds left to complete what he’d come here for.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t do it, Toya. I’m so… I’m so sorry—” “Shh. I told you not to wear yourself out earlier, did I not?”
Toya’s voice shook as he raised his right hand, taking hold of the knife. Akito tried to search for words, but it felt like there was a rock in his throat. He couldn’t find the right words. Akito resented that this had been his last choice— Toya, smiling with a knife at his chest. That wasn’t right.
Blood began to trail through Toya’s shirt as he started to push the knife through his skin. Akito couldn’t bring himself to look away.
The clock dinged. 12 AM.
Toya wasn’t dead. Everything would reset. Akito knew he had failed, as everything flashed a bright white. The blood, the moonlight, the classroom… it was all gone. Nothing was left. Nothing but the bandage on Akito’s arm, and… Akito himself.
He felt empty.
+++
Maybe it’s not the things we accomplish, but the people we meet along the way.