Archive of Our Own

People say that whatever you didn’t get in your past life, you will get in the next one. This goes for feelings, too.

People also say soulmates are magical, made to always be together in different lifetimes. It just makes sense, right? The thought of being destined to be with someone who is the perfect match for you. 

Just like the famous proverb would say: there’s an invisible and unbreakable red thread that connects people who are meant to be, regardless of time, space or circumstance.

But, what happens when the circumstances seem to never be in favor of the love between two soulmates?

Maybe it’s because they still have a long way to go together. Everything works out in the end, and if it doesn't, it is because it hasn't come to an end yet. 

ONE.

We were crazy to think

Crazy to think that this would work

Remember how I said I'd die for you?

We’d still worship this love.

(False God)

____________

[God’s Heaven, eternity]

Heaven always had this peaceful and bright stereotype, where angels are flying with smiles on their faces, harps and cute wings. In a way, it’s true. Hyunjae would dare to say it’s mostly because of him that everything works well up there.

As an archangel, Hyunjae’s duty was to make sure everything happens according to God’s word and His plans for human kind. He was the messenger, leader of the group known as White Angels. They know every single line of His message so they can be the source of comfort and peace for the ones who follow God. 

Hyunjae was a good angel. If we asked his colleagues about him, he would probably be described as the favorite son. The most devoted. The most light-hearted. The number one. 

We could not say the same thing about his work partner, Juyeon. 

Juyeon was not a bad angel, far from it. He was just… different. Juyeon was a warrior archangel.

As the leader of the Army — also known as the Black Angels —, he was God’s defender, which means he expelled many angels from Heaven and led many wars on Earth against the Devil.

We can say that Juyeon and Hyunjae had really different personalities while working together. 

They never argued, but they had different ways of solving problems; Hyunjae was sweet, Juyeon was sharp. Whenever they needed to make decisions, they would just stare blankly at each other waiting for who was going to give in first. 

And God… Hyunjae would be lying if he said he didn’t love staring nonstop at those cat-like eyes Juyeon has. But he never, ever, not even a million years, would bring that topic because lying is a sin and he would never do that.

They had fun, that’s for sure. Juyeon tended to melt and take off the tough angel mask when he was with Hyunjae and Hyunjae would forget the good boy pose he needed to maintain. What they didn’t know about each other was the reason why they felt so comfortable in moments like these.

As the communicators of God — Hyunjae for the White Angels and Juyeon for the Army —, they had constant meetings with Him so He could know everything was going okay. 

The Black Angel loved these meetings; not because he liked giving reports, but because he loved spending time with Hyunjae. They often had fun and the White Angel would always bring a smile to his face even on the busiest days. 

So after this meeting, Juyeon had an idea.

“Hyunjae, I was wondering—” 

“No.” Hyunjae interrupted him, getting up from the chair and straightening his longline white cardigan. “Whatever you’re thinking, it’s a no.” He joked with a little smile on his face.

“But I didn’t even say anything…” Juyeon let his arms fall beside his body and pouted, which made Hyunjae’s heart beat differently. “I was going to say that the Army planned a little festivity for tonight. Would you like to go with me?”

Hyunjae froze. What did he mean with ‘little festivity’? He doesn’t have time to party.

“No, thanks. I have work to do.” Hyunjae said with a blank expression as he started to walk away from Juyeon as fast as possible.

“Hyunjae, wait!” Juyeon was faster than him and grabbed his hand, forcing Hyunjae to look at him. “You work so hard, some time off would do you good. You seemed anxious at the meeting.” 

“No, Juyeon. God asked so many things to do, I need to create reports and give feedbacks, and find Sangyeon to let him know that his work has been approved and get in touch with Earth to bring their wishes and OH NO I also need-”

“Stop, Hyunjae!” Now it was time for Juyeon to interrupt him with wide eyes. He put his hands on Hyunjae’s shoulders and shook him lightly. “Look at you! God always tells us that we need breaks to become more productive.”

Hyunjae internally agreed with that. But the thought of being in a ‘break’ with Juyeon made him nervous. Are they friends? Are they teammates? 

Just like reading his mind, Juyeon continued. 

“We are friends, right? We deserve that. What do you say?” Juyeon said almost as a whisper. Hyunjae saw hope in those words and he wouldn’t be crazy to deny it.

“Right. But just tonight, agreed?” Hyunjae replied shyly and blushed a bit when Juyeon opened a huge smile. 

“Just tonight.”

And a single night was enough. 

Enough to make Hyunjae question himself if angels really aren’t supposed to feel emotional or sexual attraction whatsoever. Because what he was feeling towards Juyeon was certainly something. 

Something wrong? Probably.

But what could he do when Juyeon brings a bottle of wine for them to share, touches Hyunjae’s knee every time he laughs too hard at his own jokes and sits there looking gracious? 

Juyeon had his black hair brushed back, exposing all of his facial features, and wore a silver mesh shirt underneath a tailoring vest matched with a black long skirt. The cherry on top was his sharp-edged black wings. An angel indeed. Hyunjae thought he looked absolutely stunning.

“What?” Juyeon asked and laughed uneasily. 

Did Hyunjae say that out loud? Jesus Christ.

“What what?” He asked back.

“Did you just compliment me?” At that, Hyunjae felt like the party around them froze to hear his answer. He felt exposed. 

“No?” Hyunjae moved nervously in the chair as tension grew between them. “I need to go, Juyeon. Thank you for the time we had here, have a good night.” He spoke fast and left the other angel there, alone with lots of questions running in his mind. 

____________

A week later, Juyeon visited Hyunjae to ask something about their next meeting with God.

The Black Angel knocked on the blonde’s door but received no answer. Still, he sneaked his head through the door and found Hyunjae in a way he had never seen before.

Was Hyunjae feeling… sad? It was hard to tell.

He was sitting on the couch of the room with his back to the door but round, feathery wings covered almost entirely his body, so Juyeon could slightly see him hugging his knees and burying his face on them.

“Hyunjae? Is everything alright?” Juyeon asked softly, closing the door behind him. He saw the other angel shake his head as a ‘no’ and sat beside him on the couch. “Mind telling me what happened?”

Hyunjae lifted his head up, with swollen eyes. Was he crying? Juyeon thought.

“God called me in His presence today. I feel like I am failing Him.” The other angel answered, feeling small. 

Juyeon frowned, thinking that didn’t make any sense. “What do you mean? You are so hardworking, you never let anything go wrong, you are always in touch with Him.” He looked at Hyunjae worried but something about the blonde’s gaze made him nervous. “Where did that come from?”

“It came from you, actually.” Hyunjae answered.

Juyeon’s heart thumped in his chest so hard it was almost audible. 

“The thing is…” Hyunjae continued. “us, angels, are supposed to worship God’s Word and protect Heaven, right? But, I can’t do that when I am distorted from it.”

Juyeon had no idea of what was going on. He couldn’t bear the idea of Hyunjae feeling low about himself because that is so far from what he was. In his eyes, Hyunjae was the purest angel in Heaven. His heart, his dedication, the way he giggled when receiving good feedback from others, his soft voice when leading his angels… all of that made Juyeon’s heart beat so much faster. 

“I don’t understand, Hyunj-”

“I have feelings for you, Juyeon.” Hyunjae said and held his breath waiting for any response from the other angel. When he didn’t receive, he just looked up at the roof and sighed before continuing. “I have tried to stop them, fight them, but-” He sobbed. “But I feel drawn to you, to your light, to your strength and to everything you make me feel. I-I am so sorry for this.” 

Juyeon reached out to Hyunjae’s hand and intertwined their fingers and tried to form a coherent answer. “I… understand. Because I feel the same, Hyunjae.” He didn’t want to look into the eyes of the other, but he could feel his hand being lightly squeezed. 

“And I never dared to hope that anything could be possible between us. You know how this would be the beginning of an… an end for us.” Juyeon ends the sentence almost in silence, his voice full of sorrow and throat stuck with unshed tears.

Hyunjae, on the other hand, cried like there was no tomorrow. In a way, he knew there would be no tomorrow for them once they crossed this line.

“I can’t understand what love is, Juyeon. And I don’t want to live an eternal life full of fear, anguish and worries.” Hyunjae moved his hands to make Juyeon look at him and cupped his cheeks lovingly. “Everything here is intense, but never unreal. The laws that govern our existence stops us, but I know what my heart feels for you.”

Hyunjae almost didn’t finish his sentence because the other angel’s soft lips were on his. It was on impulse — a dangerous one —, they both knew it. But it was genuine. It was soulful.

The White Angel felt the tears on Juyeon’s face and knew he should feel guilty. But he didn’t. In fact, he never felt more alive.

They broke the kiss and stared at each other’s eyes for a few seconds before Juyeon hugged the other angel tightly and whispered in his ear. 

“My heart is yours, Hyunjae.”

____________

Two days later, Juyeon received a letter in the middle of his armor training.

“Sorry to interrupt, Juyeon. It just seems important.” Haknyeon said, handling a golden envelope with a beautiful wing-shaped stamp. “Also, God asked you in His presence after you finish the training today.” The angel added with a smile.

Juyeon thanked him quickly and opened the envelope with shaking hands. Inside, there was a letter in a calligraphy he would recognise anywhere. 

“Dear Juyeon,

Things for us went in an unexpected way. 

God called me in His presence again to concretize my sins. And because of them, I must endure my consequences.

I tried so hard to be the perfect son, to stay in line and do what I had to do. It hurts to feel sinful and incapable of fulfilling my destiny. 

I am deeply sorry, Juyeon. I was corrupted, consumed and tortured by a feeling that wasn’t for me to feel. Nor for you. 

Now, I have new duties, new paths, new challenges. But I won’t ever forget about the beautiful sensations our short — but delightful — story brought me. 

My dear Black Angel, my heart is also yours.

May we find each other in eternity again.

From your White Angel, 

Hyunjae.”

Juyeon had tears in his eyes. He should have seen it coming. 

Juyeon knew he was the next one to endure the plans God had for him now. And he was conscious of what he had done. He knew it wasn’t natural for two angels to fall in love and experience any kind of devotion that wasn’t directed to the Divine. 

And he accepted it, with the hopes of feeling free to love his angel one day. 

TWO.

And all at once

You are the one I have been waiting for

King of my heart, body and soul. 

(King of My Heart)

____________

[Minseo Kingdom, 1612]

The Minseo Kingdom was the most complete of them all. Their territory was a conjunction of 8 provinces, each of them with unique characteristics like pig farmings, soy plantations, water reusability, crafting productions… The Kingdom had everything they needed and they lived like a big healthy community.

Led by the King Han Chungho and his Queen Han Minki, the Minseo Kingdom had good relationships with the Hajoon Kingdom. This strong alliance was important for politics and eventual clashes in the peninsula.

The provinces inside Minseo were partially independent, which meant they had their Dukes and  Duchesses who led the territory economically and culturally, but they all answered to the King and Queen.

However, their preparations for wars were unified: the military training system welcomed all boys above 16 years old from all provinces after they had graduated from basic education.

This system helped the Kingdom to grow because if the men — who are meant to be the leaders — have good relationships, then the provinces would too. 

The top five trainees in this year’s military service were Moon Hyungseo, Kim Younghoon, Lee Juyeon, Lee Hyunjae and Ji Changmin.

Ironically or not, they were best friends and didn’t have any kind of rivalry because of the ranking. In fact, they enjoyed going out together on their free days and making fun of each other during training.

“I just think that Changmin has been a pain in my neck these days, he’s letting me win every time. It’s no fun!” Younghoon said dramatically and received a slap from Changmin’s shield. “Ouch! Why don’t you use this rage while fighting with me?”

The other four boys laughed at the drama and continued packing up their equipment from the last class of the day. 

“Because I don’t want to continue this training anymore, you all know it.” Changmin replied in a jokingly angry tone. “The only one who wants to stay here forever is Hyungseo, don’t come for me.”

“He wants to stay stinky in this terrible armor?! Jesus Christ!” Younghoon let out a loud laugh while mocking the younger one.

“Well, I want to stay fit, man, I like the adrenaline. What’s wrong with that?” Hyungseo counter attacked and pushed the other lightly. “What are YOU going to do, huh? Just plant some seeds forever?”

Younghoon pretended to be offended and took his bag from the floor. ”Well, I am going to marry my girl!” Changmin rolled his eyes at the cockiness of the older. “We are already 20, I just want to leave this place and move out with Miyeon. You should be asking these two what they’re going to do!” Younghoon pointed to Juyeon and Hyunjae who were sitting on the benches just watching their friends.

“What about taking care of your own life, you jerk?” Hyunjae kicked Younghoon’s thigh to break the weird mood that got into the place.

Juyeon laughed with not a single tone of happiness in his voice and got up. “Can we get dinner? I’m starving.”

____________

On the next day, Hyunjae and Juyeon went to the field to do archery. 

Side by side, the two boys practiced with their arrows and bows for hours, but Hyunjae noticed that Juyeon’s mind was anywhere but in the target in front of them. He just knew his friend like the palm of his hand.

“Are you thinking about what Younghoon said last night?” Hyunjae asked. 

Juyeon was ready to shoot the next arrow, but he just froze and let it down on the tiny wood table in front of him. “Kinda of.” He answered without looking at the other boy. “I have no idea what to do when we graduate military service next semester.”

“Can’t you run your mom’s business? She’s the biggest tulip planter in Minseo.” Hyunjae also dropped his bow and continued to stare at the taller.

The wind blowing made Juyeon’s hair cover his eyes, which he was thankful for, so Hyunjae wouldn’t see the tears forming. “I just… I don’t know. I don’t want to do something I’m not passionate about.” 

Juyeon just felt useless, dumb, and lost. He wasn’t made to create a business or fight wars, but he felt like there were only these two options.

“You’re a romantic guy, aren’t you?” Hyunjae laughed softly and brushed Juyeon’s bangs off his eyes. “What about the story you sent to the newspaper? What was that about again?”

“Two criminals who fall in love. Apparently, these old ladies love reading criminal romances… because they bought my story.” Juyeon said with a little smirk and Hyunjae gasped loudly. “But they’ll publish under a pseudonym.”

Hyunjae jumped into the taller man's neck, hugging and congratulating him. “Oh my God, Juyeon! This is so good!” They separated a bit, but Juyeon’s hands stayed still on the older’s back, keeping him close. “How can you dare to say you don’t know what to do with your life?”

They both stayed there in silence.

Juyeon didn’t answer because he was too focused on the feeling of Hyunjae’s waist on his own hands and the wide, proud eyes looking at him. He was astonished with the man he was looking at; and he liked the sensation of someone being proud of him.

Hyunjae’s smile dropped slowly as he noticed the position they were in. They were dangerously close, heartbeats running fast, the warm sunshine from the early morning washing them; it felt nice.

They heard some noise in the bushes and separated quickly, which turned into saying goodbyes and an agreement of meeting after dinner that night. 

____________

Just like they agreed, Hyunjae and Juyeon met after dinner on the rooftop of the dormitory building. They were resting against the parapet where they could see all the candle lights from the trainees and soldiers enjoying their nights.

“Thank you, Hyunjae, for feeling happy for me earlier.” Juyeon starts the conversation softly, still looking at the city.

“What?” Hyunjae giggled and pushed him jokingly. “Of course I’ll feel proud of my friend… you were born to do this, Juyeon.” He finished answering in almost a whisper.

Juyeon turned his face to look at him just to see how close they were to each other. 

The silence came back, but now it was more comfortable. 

Hyunjae looked at the other’s features closely and noticed Juyeon was doing the same with his own.

In a split second, he felt Juyeon’s lips on his. It was delicate, sweet and tasted like the peach pie they had for dessert. 

One kiss turned into two, which turned into three; the hesitation was long gone and time seemed to stay still as they lost themselves into each other’s lips.

Hyunjae’s hands made their way to the boy’s face, cupping his cheeks softly while Juyeon’s fingers tangled into the Hyunjae’s hair.

They didn’t even notice the city getting quieter and darker around them. The sky above them was already in shades of dark blue with pretty constellations and it couldn’t be more perfect.

Between countless soft kisses and caring whispers, they found in each other something special and unique.

____________

Their life stayed like that for months; Hyunjae and Juyeon couldn’t stay away from each other. Training became more fun, their secret dates made them have something to look for and physical touches were more and more common.

Even their friends noticed something was different, but they couldn’t quite say what. 

One day, Juyeon took Hyunjae to his motherr’s tulips field. It was picking season, so they were surrounded of white, lilac and orange tulips under the night’s stars. 

Hyunjae knew how romantic Juyeon was, but this was out of this world.

He secretly wished he didn’t have to tell Juyeon something that would completely destroy them.

“Juyeon, remember when I went to my parents’ house last month?” Hyunjae asked while they laid together in the flower field.

“Yes… what about it?” Juyeon replied.

“Well…” Hyunjae started, nervously, as he shifted in place. “It was a special dinner with a Duchess from Hajoon Kingdom. They want me to marry her…” He held his breath and finished. “Next week, after the military graduation.”

The silence came back. Again. This time, it was a painful silence. 

Hyunjae continued and his voice was shaking. “They want to create bonds between the Kingdoms and… t-they know how my family is influential here, and I…I didn’t have a choice.”

More silence. Hyunjae was almost throwing up from nervousness.

“Say something, please…” Hyunjae said almost inaudibly and turned his face to look at Juyeon. The other boy had a single tear running through his cheek and the sight broke the older’s heart in a million pieces.

“What do you expect me to say?” Juyeon answered in a husky voice. “We knew this could happen. I just didn’t think it would be that fast.” He let out a sarcastic little laugh and covered his face with his hands.

Hyunjae lifted his body and took Juyeon’s hands off his face. He is so beautiful. He thought. He was definitely in love.

“We can still see each other, Juyeon.” He tried to comfort the other one but it was useless. “I don’t even know who that girl is. You’re the one I’m in love with.”

Juyeon started crying even harder and got up from the floor. “Don’t say that, Hyunjae. Don't say that when you’re about to leave me here, with nothing.” He greeted his teeth and his voice choked with the sobs. “I don’t get to watch you smiling at everyone with a girl by your side while I’m in the back with a broken heart.” He said walking in circles and gesturing in a desperate state.

Hyunjae stared at him speechless, because he was right, there was nothing they could do.

He got up as well and cupped Juyeon’s face while muttering thousands of ‘I am sorry’. 

Juyeon hugged and kissed him, knowing this was the last time. He embraced the love for Hyunjae only to let him go in a few days.

The boys felt each other’s lips like the world didn’t exist around them, trying to memorize the softness of the moment and the patterns in their skins.

It was beautiful. 

____________

The marriage ceremony happened, as planned. 

Younghoon, Changmin and Hyungseo were there to celebrate their friend’s special moment with smiles on their faces. Juyeon was there too, but he couldn’t smile at all. 

He knew Hyunjae would never think he was being selfish.

They never saw each other again after that day.

But Hyunjae never missed a single romance publication in the newspaper. He knew that every week Juyeon would publish a short romance or a poem which he would always read with heart eyes.

This week, though, exactly one month after the marriage, it hit Hyunjae differently.

“Just like the arrow and bow    

You were like the hunter

When my heart was the pray    

May the Universe be kind to us

So I can let my heart be targeted

For you once again

So you can hunt for my lips

Around our favorite tulips

And make me yours.”

THREE.

I was thinking just one time

Maybe the stars align

And maybe I call you mine.

(Electric Touch)

____________

[Daejeon, 1930]

The city of Daejeon was very known for its beautiful scenarios and was often chosen as a destination for nature lovers.

It was, indeed, a huge community for preservation and research of everything the human kind knows of the world.

And that’s why Hyunjae and Juyeon had lived in Daejeon for the last four years: to research. They both worked at the National Science Laboratory, more specifically in the Astronomy section.

We can easily affirm they were considered the best scientists NSL has ever had.

Hyunjae was an Cosmology expert, while Juyeon was an Astrophysics expert, both graduated with honors in college, which led them to the project that changed everything.

Two years ago, Hyunjae and Juyeon were assigned to be the leaders of a new research about the structures of galaxies and find out why they exist and how they work.

Everything was going well with their many co-workers, until they were all transferred to other projects.

This project wouldn’t go anywhere. Juyeon knew that the laboratory thought that. 

So, eventually, the entire research was in the two scientists’ hands. And their overly energetic interns, of course.

“Well, Sunwoo, you already knew this would take some time.” Hyunjae answered the boy who was in a never-ending complaint about monitoring a nuclear bulge study. 

“But I’ve been analyzing it for hours, hyung!” Sunwoo replied, getting off from his chair and pointing to some printed images like a brat. He was one of the interns, along with Youngjae, and they were a few years younger than their bosses, which created a nice relationship between them. 

Juyeon took a quick glance at the clock above his desk. It was 9:32 p.m. “Sunwoo, Youngjae, go home. It’s late and you guys have tests tomorrow.” He said, without even looking at the interns.

“Really, hyung?” Youngjae, who seemed very focused on his math calculations, turned back and asked looking at Hyunjae — the most demanding of the two bosses.

Hyunjae just sighed and gave in, looking at the clock as well. “Yes, go. Thank you for today.”

Youngjae and Sunwoo instantly packed their stuff, saying lots of ‘thank you, hyung’ before they ran out of the lab.

After the door closed, Juyeon stretched himself in his chair and looked at the desk by his side. 

Hyunjae was so immersed in his data sheets with endless numbers and calculations about space-time distortions and planet positions that he didn’t notice he was being stared at.

The curls on his hair were messy and his blue shirt already had the upper buttons undone, his polka dot bow tie long discarded on the table.

Juyeon thought it was an adorable view. He admired his work partner so much he was sure that Hyunjae would still conquer great things because of his dedication.

“Have you eaten?” Juyeon suddenly asked in a low tone, still looking at the man.

Hyunjae just shook his head, indicating that no, the maximum he got was a cup of water hours ago.

Juyeon rolled his eyes and left the room, coming back after a few minutes with two hot kimchi bowls.

“Here.” He gave Hyunjae one bowl and saw the confusion in the man’s eyes. “You need to eat, Hyunjae. Or you will be seeing aliens in those sheets soon enough.”

Hyunjae looked up at the other and gave a tired laugh, accepting it. “Thank you, Juyeon.” He thanked him with an already full mouth of the kimchi.

“No problem. You dedicate yourself too much sometimes, it’s gonna kill you.” Juyeon scolded and gave him a worried look.

“We have almost no investment into this and I really believe we’re going somewhere…” Hyunjae zoned out while looking at the floor but he kept talking. “I really want to make this work, Ju.”

Juyeon could see the passion in Hyunjae’s eyes. 

“You should go gardening sometime.” Juyeon said out of a sudden, clearly joking with him while he chewed his food.

“What?!” Hyunjae laughed loudly, earning a smile from the other. “Where did that come from?”

“I don’t know.” Juyeon answered laughing as well. “My mother loves gardening, I used to join her and it was pretty calming.” 

“That’s sweet.” Hyunjae said, softly. “My mom loves cinema, my calming time used to be watching movies with her.”

They men kept looking at each other as the conversation tailed off and eventually got back to their endless calculation and image analysis after filling their stomachs.

Working overtime became a thing for them; Sunwoo and Youngjae would leave at 8 but Hyunjae and Juyeon would always stay there for hours into the night, discussing any matter of the research.

And with that, Juyeon started bringing Hyunjae more snacks, otherwise the older man wouldn’t eat at all. 

That hit Hyunjae softly in the chest. Tteokbokki, meat, peach pies, and his favorite cold coffee with just a little bit of milk with no sugar… Juyeon knew all about Hyunjae’s favorites and it meant a lot to him.

One day, Hyunjae decided to pay attention to Juyeon.

He stepped away from his desk slightly with his chair and saw the man sitting on the floor criss-crossed with many sheets around him. Each of them were poor quality copies of the images Sunwoo was analyzing last week and, now, Juyeon was doing the same. 

He had his black hair brushed back, wore square glasses matched with a black shirt and black tie. Juyeon was so focused in making notes in the pictures that his eyebrows were furrowed and his lips were mumbling inaudible words.

He was gorgeous. Hyunjae thought.

Wait. What? No.

Hyunjae scratched his eyes to wake up from his trance and glanced at the clock. It was 11:25 p.m. On a Saturday .

He looked back at Juyeon and it seemed like the man was in the same position for the last three hours.

“Don’t you have nowhere better to be right now?” Hyunjae asked with genuine curiosity. 

Juyeon jumped a little from the sudden voice talking to him and straightened his posture. “I don’t, actually…” He said, shyly. “What about you?”

Hyunjae shrugged. “Me neither.” 

Hyunjae didn’t bother with the idea of not having much to do outside the laboratory, the research or all of this astronomy stuff whatsoever. And a part of him liked this even more recently.

“I like the lab.” He got up from his chair and sat on the floor with Juyeon, the several images separating them. “I’ve been liking it even more, lately…” He said almost in a whisper, while he hugged his knees.

Juyeon smiled fondly while looking at Hyunjae, who was smiling as well.

“Me too.”

____________

Few weeks passed and Hyunjae had his Eureka moment, finally.

“THAT’S IT!” Hyunjae screamed, standing in front of the blackboard and scaring everyone in the lab. “YOUNGJAE!” He screamed again, even louder, pointing at the huge physics calculation he had finished.

“HYUNG!” Youngjae answered, equally excited — or scared, it was hard to tell —, standing from his chair.

“What happened?” Juyeon turned to the men and asked, quite annoyed that he was taken out of his focus.

“I FOUND OUT!” Hyunjae runned to Youngjae and shook the younger boy while they both screamed at each other. 

“WHAT IS GOING ON?!” Sunwoo screamed back.

“WE HAVE-” Hyunjae paused, breathless. “A BLACK HOLE-” Paused again. “INSIDE THE GALAXY!”

Silence.

“WHAT?” Juyeon screamed back.

“YES!” Hyunjae got back to the blackboard and started explaining his logic through the huge calculation he worked with Youngjae for the last weeks. He roamed about how a galaxy has this central place where gravity gets so strong that pulls all its matter into somewhere that even light can’t get out; and, apparently, all of those numbers concluded it.

He had a huge smile on his face during the entire explanation and Juyeon felt so proud.

The four of them knew how big this was and how this discovery would change their lives forever.

They all congratulated Hyunjae, who, of course, didn’t accept saying this was ‘teamwork’. 

But still, at the end of the day, Juyeon got to Hyunjae, messing his hair and smiling widely. “I’m so proud of you, Jae.”

“I knew it, Juyo… I knew we could prove Einstein wasn’t crazy about this.” Hyunjae said giggling, almost with tears in his eyes, and hugged Juyeon suddenly.

And they stayed there in the comfort of each other for a while. And it meant millions of unsaid words.

____________

Two days later, Hyunjae and Juyeon went to the city’s highest mountain to make telescope observations.

They took everything there: three different types of telescopes, all of their notes, important files, a tent and, of course, lots of snacks.

It was essential to make these observations at night, so it was known they would stay there until dawn. 

“I already contacted Hawaii’s and Chile’s corresponding scientists and they said the news went all over their labs… it’s crazy, right?” Hyunjae said excitedly, taking some notes on his booklet with his back to Juyeon. 

Juyeon, on the other hand, was totally exhausted, laying on the grass with his arms dropped by his side. It was 2 a.m. already and they didn’t make much progress, but it was understandable. 

“Yeah, it’s nice.” Juyeon replied, lazily. He was tired, yes, but listening to Hyunjae just babble about whatever made his days — and now, nights — less stressful. “It’s nice that we’re about to submit this, too. Two years of work to make history in just two weeks from now.”

They both laughed and Hyunjae turned to look at Juyeon on the floor.

“Sadly we didn’t see a thing about black holes, but the stars are pretty today.” Hyunjae said, pointing to the sky. “Did you see?”

“I didn’t… you haven’t let go of the telescopes since we got here.” Juyeon joked, getting up from the floor and going to the big telescope right beside Hyunjae.

The curly haired blushed at the comment and looked away to the sky. “Sorry, I got excited.”

“Of course you did.” 

Hyunjae didn’t really notice how he left no space for Juyeon to look through the telescope properly until the taller man stepped aside from it.

As soon as Juyeon turned his head to the side, he realized Hyunjae was already looking at him, his eyes reflecting the moon and the stars in the sky.

“The stars are pretty, indeed.” Juyeon whispered so low it was almost inaudible.

They were so close.

And they simply couldn’t step back from this situation; their hearts were already beating fast, their lips drying.

What did they have to lose? 

Right now, absolutely nothing .

In a matter of milliseconds, Hyunjae closed the space between them and their lips were attached in a motion; they felt the world stopped spinning so they could just taste each other’s lips forever.

Juyeon kissed him back intensely, putting his hands in Hyunjae’s waist and pulling him even closer. The air was thick between them and the soft touches Hyunjae gave through Juyeon’s arms were sending him to Heaven.

Hyunjae let go of the man suddenly but Juyeon was faster and held his hand tight. “I’m sorry, I-I… I shouldn’t have done this.” Hyunjae said, panting.

“I’ve been fantasizing about this for so long, Jae.” Juyeon said, bringing him close again and cupping his cheeks while he peppered the older’s face with sweet kisses.

Hyunjae’s mind was going insane with all of that and searched for Juyeon’s lips again, uniting them now in a deeper kiss. He pushed the younger one slowly until he was seated on the grass, Hyunjae on his lap.

Juyeon couldn’t believe in what was happening. He tightened his grip on Hyunjae's body and roamed everywhere his hands could reach, like he wanted to memorize every single detail of the older.

Hyunjae undid the first buttons of Juyeon’s shirt and trailed kisses from his face to his collarbone while he patted the hair on the man’s nape, letting the overwhelming passion take care of his instincts.

It couldn’t get any better for the both of them. The looks, the soft fingertips, the wet lips on each other’s skins, the sweet nothings being mumbled… something about the atmosphere in there felt like the stars had aligned for just one night.

And it was perfect.

____________

Two weeks after, like planned, Hyunjae and Juyeon submitted the project. 

They presented their speeches, justifying their methods and addressing the big discoveries. Lots of big academics and astronomy experts were there to witness history being made. Also, notorious journalists from all over the country came to stamp the news into the headlines.

It was a big day for all of them, including their overjoyed interns who just freaked out the entire presentation.

It was also quite a sad day, somehow. 

Hyunjae and Juyeon’s last day together for God knows how long.

While Hyunjae got promoted to lead of Astronomy section in National Science Laboratory, Juyeon got transferred to Incheon as the lead of Physics Research of the National Engineering Foundation.

“Thank you for everything, Ju.” Hyunjae said softly after they got rid of the guests and press.

They went upstairs to the lab again, which was way quieter and cleaner now without tons of calculation sheets and space photographs. 

It was recomforting, like a cycle had ended.

“Thank you for making this special.” Juyeon whispered back, getting closer to Hyunjae and pressing him lightly against a table. “I had the best time of my life here.” He smiled fondly against the other’s lips.

Hyunjae kissed him without saying anything, cupping Juyeon’s face and brushing his thumb on his cheeks. 

They didn’t need to say anything. It was all implicit in the sweet kisses they shared for the last time in that laboratory.

Hyunjae and Juyeon eventually said goodbye with each other’s bow ties in hand. 

Hyunjae now had Juyeon’s black bow tie that smelled like his woody perfume, while Juyeon had Hyunjae’s blue argyle tie with his soft vanilla fragrance.

____________

When Hyunjae got home that day, he decided to just throw his huge folders from the project into his shelf so that could be a problem for the Hyunjae of the future.

During the motion of taking out the files from his bag, he noticed a piece of paper he didn’t remember putting there. Hyunjae took it out and recognized that handwriting instantly in the round letters and little hearts drawn all over the sheet.

“Dear Jae,

Thank you for existing inside this huge universe in the same time and space as me. It was a pleasure to share happiness, frustrations, great kisses, and a project that made history with you. 

You are so important to me. I hope I can find you again even 105.700 light-years inside this beautiful Milky Way.

I’ll be looking for you in the newspaper pages. I’m forever proud of you.

With love,

Juyo.”

FOUR.

And all I feel

In my stomach is butterflies

The beautiful kind.

(Everything Has Changed)

____________

[Busan, 1988]

Life has always been like this to Hyunjae and Juyeon: they would wake up, go to school, come back home, do their homeworks and meet to play whatever they wanted to until bedtime. And repeat, every day.

It’s not like they had many options, though.

They lived in a quiet neighborhood in Busan and had always been the only children there. 

Hyunjae and Juyeon — who were 10 years old — have been friends since birth; Hyunjae was just a few months older than Juyeon and they always got along really well. 

Their families were friends and they were sweet boys, with good grades, happy families and big dreams.

Only if Hyunjae and Juyeon hadn’t complementary personalities. 

Hyunjae had a fixation with the color white; his room’s walls were painted in a bright white, with white bed sheets, white lamps… his outfits were mainly white too — when he wasn't wearing his gray school uniform. He also loved going through different shades of white in his belongings. His backpack was an off-white, while his shoes were an icy-blueish white, matched with his favorite cream white beanie.

Juyeon, on the other hand, had a literal black galaxy on his bedroom roof. He dreamed of being a scientist, one of those who study stars, the Moon, the Sun, galaxies, black holes and beyond… his dad even bought him a nice telescope so he could watch the night sky from his backyard.

On Saturdays, they had sleepovers to watch their favorite movies and eat all the snacks their moms would allow. 

“But we watched all the other movies already, Jae!” Juyeon said, pouting in a whiny voice while being surrounded by cassette tapes on his bedroom floor. “We watched Poltergeist, Ghostbusters, A Clockwork Orange-”

“Hey, I didn’t understand a thing about that movie.” Hyunjae interrupted and replied pointing his index finger to the tape. 

Juyeon stayed quiet, looking at Stanley Kubrick’s movie cover on the tape. “Well… me neither.” He pouted again. “But we watched it already! Please, let’s watch Footloose today… please? Pleaseeee” The black haired boy crawled on his knees begging to the other.

Hyunjae rolled his eyes, whining as well because he preferred spooky movies, but he eventually gave in. So they got comfortable in Juyeon’s bed with cozy blankets and sweet popcorn.

The movie went on and Hyunjae ended up loving the plot. It was fun and youthful until… the main characters were… putting their mouths into each other’s?

What is that? Hyunjae thought. He saw through his peripheral vision that Juyeon had the exact same facial expression as him. 

“Why are they doing that…?” Juyeon asked quietly, as if he was telling a secret.

“I don’t know.” Hyunjae replied in the same voice tone, remembering he heard about it somewhere. “I think they’re kissing but… I don’t know why people do that.”

They kept watching that scene — the boy sweetly holding his girl while they kissed tenderly in the sunset — and something clicked in Hyunjae.

____________

“Mom, why do people kiss in the mouth?” 

It was a Sunday morning, and the boy was still reflecting upon what he saw the previous night. Hyunjae’s mom stopped stirring the kimchijjigae soup on the stove and just looked at him giggling. “Where did that come from, sweetheart?”

“I don’t know… Juyeon and I watched a movie yesterday and two people started kissing.” Hyunjae said unbothered, sitting in the chair of the kitchen island and kicking his feet. 

“Well…” The woman finished cooking and put a bowl of the soup in front of her son. “People kiss when they love each other. You know that?”

“But how do they know they love each other?” The little boy asked with a full mouth.

“They just do. They have fun together, they have things in common, they feel butterflies on their stomach…”

“BUTTERFLIES?!” Hyunjae gasped, touching his own belly through the white cotton shirt like he had heard the biggest absurdity of his life. “IN THE STOMACH?!”

His mom laughed at his innocence and tickled him, earning some giggles from the boy. “Yes! It feels like they’re all flying in there like this…” She gestured circles in the air with her hands. “It’s like feeling shy, Jae.”

“Hum… okay. Seems cool.” Hyunjae resumed eating his breakfast and made a mental note to tell Juyeon about this.

____________

Monday came and the boys had just finished their science project which, of course, Juyeon got excited about and made all by himself.

It was almost nightfall and Hyunjae was packing his stuff to go home, but first he remembered telling Juyeon about the ‘kiss subject’.

“I asked my mom about kissing yesterday.” Hyunjae started while closing the paint bottles on the living room table. 

“Oh, really?” Juyeon asked but didn’t seem really interested in actually knowing. “And what’s that?”

“Mom said people kiss when they like each other.” Hyunjae said, sighing. “But… I don’t know what’s the big deal. She said they do it because they have fun together and feel butterflies in their stomach.”

Juyeon paused cleaning the brushes and looked at the weird-looking solar system mock-up in front of him. “What’s that?”

“I have no idea, Juyo.”

They both giggled and Juyeon decided to suggest something.

“Wanna try it? Just to find out what is the ‘big deal’?”

“But I don’t know how.” Hyunjae answered.

“We can just… do it like this?” Juyeon made a duck pout with his lips, which seemed very stupid to him. 

Hyunjae copied him and yes, it felt so stupid.

But well, they liked each other, didn’t they? They had fun together going to the park, playing with their tiny dinosaurs and running with their kites. They also had a few things in common, like enjoying watching movies and sleeping with plushies. There was nothing wrong, right?

“Yeah, okay.” They got a little closer and stared at each other like that. “We go on three?”

Juyeon nodded and counted.

“One…”

Hyunjae pouted his lips even more.

“Two…” 

They both closed their eyes tightly.

“Three.”

A quick peck happened. Just like a blink of an eye. 

And they stayed like that, in silence. Like they got scolded for something.

“So… that’s it?” Hyunjae asked, arms falling beside his body.

“I think so…” Juyeon answered in his usual quiet voicetone.

“Okay.” Hyunjae turned to get his backpack. “I’ll see you on the school bus tomorrow, Ju.” He then waved with a smile and headed home.

“Bye, Jae.” Juyeon waved back and said quietly, feeling unusual. He had this weird feeling in his belly, like it was all inside a mixer down there.

Oh no. He thought. Are these butterflies?! He then gasped and threw himself on the chair dramatically.

____________

They pretended to move on like nothing happened. 

But something did happen. 

Hyunjae and Juyeon felt the need to be near each other all the time. Even more than before. 

Hyunjae started bringing Juyeon’s favorite snacks to school and Juyeon always traced patterns in Hyunjae’s hand on the bus.

Hyunjae found cute when the younger’s uniform necktie was always loose and Juyeon liked seeing the older’s innocent features in contrast to the sunrise in the bus window. 

Hyunjae memorized the smell of baby shampoo that Juyeon used and Juyeon memorized the sound of Hyunjae’s laughter. 

One day during lunch, Hyunjae and Juyeon were sharing some tofu stew that Hyunjae’s mom had prepared.

“I heard mom and dad talking yesterday in their room.” The older whispered after the woman went upstairs. “I think dad got a new job.”

“Oh, that’s cool. He’s a cool businessman.” Juyeon replied, gulping his food. 

“But… he said something about going to Incheon.” The older boy said with some sadness. 

“So, are you leaving town?” Juyeon’s heart started racing so fast and his expression went blank. 

“I don’t know… I could have heard wrongly, though.” Hyunjae shrugged.

“Yeah, probably.” 

Hyunjae, in fact, didn’t hear wrongly. 

A month later, Hyunjae went to Juyeon’s place to say goodbye. 

Juyeon’s room felt tiny and full of sorrow. 

The galaxy above them witnessed their happiest moments and now was the comfort for their saddest one. 

They hugged each other so tightly they would have broken their bones but, honestly, they could have stayed forever like that.

Juyeon gave Hyunjae his favorite plushie in the shape of a cute spaceship with “Apollo 11” written on it. Hyunjae also gave Juyeon a plushie, his favorite one too. It was a fluffy cream-white bear wearing a purple t-shirt that said ‘best boy’. 

“I‘ll miss you so much, Jae.” Juyeon said with a huge pout and some tears in his eyes. 

“Me too, but I’ll call you as soon as I can, okay?” Hyunjae also said, crying a little bit. He scratched his eyes and heard his mom calling him from outside the house. 

He needed to go. 

They waved goodbye for the last time and Juyeon ran to the window. He saw his best friend entering the car and, as soon as it left, he collapsed in tears on his bed. 

It wasn’t fair.

Juyeon woke up a few hours later with the sound of the pouring rain in his window and realized he fell asleep with the white bear in his arms. 

He started petting the fur gently when he felt something in the bear’s back. It was a little folded white post-it glued to the plushie’s t-shirt. 

Juyeon opened it and read it in Hyunjae’s messy handwriting. 

“Juyo, I promise we’ll meet again, okay? You’re the best friend I ever had. Take care of Mr. Frosty for me! I’ll take good care of Apollo <3

I love you, okay? From Jae.”

After that, Hyunjae and Juyeon had conversations through the phone for some time, but it was never the same. 

The dynamics were different and, unfortunately, he had to deal with the butterflies that stayed alive for a long time. 

Life needed to go on.

But, every night, Juyeon looked up to his private galaxy and wished the stars could bring his best friend home again. 

FIVE.

God saved the most judgmental creeps

Who say they want what's best for me

Thinking it can change the beat of my heart when he touches me.

(But Daddy I Love Him)

___________

[Jeju Island, 2007]

Summer camps are usually cool and fun. Teenagers are always running here and there playing games, laughing and being free.

Well, this one wasn’t like this.

A church summer camp is quite different. They can play games and have fun, of course, but they need to wake up everyday at 8 a.m., hear the pastor’s preaching, sing praises and spend the whole morning doing Christian activities.

If Juyeon had an option, he would definitely be anywhere else in this world but in this camp. But there was just one who could make him stay.  

This “one” had hazelnut eyes, soft hair and the most contagious — and beaming — smile he had ever seen. This one thing was called Lee Hyunjae and was sitting two chair rows in front of him on the travel bus.

Juyeon and Hyunjae were pretty close, per se. They had done a few charity works together at the church and talked about a lot of things, so Juyeon was pretty excited to see the other boy there.

As soon as Juyeon and Chanhee — his best friend — arrived at the camp and got out of the bus, they ran to take their room among all the little chalets there. 

“I want the top bed!” Chanhee said excitedly, going inside and climbing the bunk bed. “C’mon Ju, let’s unpack before eati-”

“Oh hi!” Chanhee was interrupted by the boy who entered the chalet, Jacob. He was a sweet boy who came from Canada and was Hyunjae’s best friend. “Can Hyunjae and I share the chalet with you?” He asked shyly.

When he heard Hyunjae’s name, Juyeon turned his head and looked at him starstruck. It’s a plan of God Himself , he thought. 

“Of course!” Chanhee replied excitedly. Juyeon wanted to punch his friend in the face for making him share a room with THE Hyunjae for a whole week.

Oh God, have mercy on me. Juyeon thought again and nodded at the boys.

Hyunjae smiled at them while entering the chalet and the four of them quickly started conversations and went to have a snack together.

They sat at a wood table underneath a big tree discussing the camping activities while eating their fried chickens. The weather was good and the sun was setting down while the night breeze started to blow.

“What are you guys doing tomorrow? I mean, besides the preaching and singing and praying…” Jacob asked in a joking tone and they all smiled.

Juyeon pointed out some bushes behind them which led to a mountain in the back. “I heard there’s a waterfall if we go through a trail ther-” 

“Oh, don’t even ask me to go! Last time I went with you I almost died.” Chanhee interrupted him, making a ‘no-no’ sign with his index finger which earned a shocking — and kind of sad — reaction from the other one. 

“I’ll go with you.” Hyunjae said. 

What?

“What? No, you don’t need to.” Juyeon said, looking at the boy in front of him and shook his head.

“No, really. I want to.” Hyunjae insisted and gave him a sweet smile. Juyeon smiled nervously and agreed.

Jesus freaking Christ.

___________

The day after, when the teens got dismissed from all their religious activities, Juyeon and Hyunjae started their journey to the waterfall.

They laughed all the way there and found out they had a lot more in common than imagined. Both of them were only childs, they loved rom-coms, were part of the basketball team at school… the boys were a match.

As soon as they got there, Hyunjae threw his backpack on the ground and took his shirt off before jumping into the water, followed by Juyeon who laughed at him and did the same.

They had the waterfall entirely for themselves; the water was crystal clear and the sun was warm in their skins while they played there for hours. 

They made swimming competitions, threw water in each other’s faces and collected different types of leaves so, eventually, Juyeon got a little tired and swam to a big rock, climbing it and laying on there. 

He closed his eyes and focused so hard on the sound of birds flying around that he didn’t notice the other boy had laid on the rock beside him.

“Do you like being here? In the camp, with all these church things?” Hyunjae asked quietly, like somebody could hear him.

Juyeon opened his eyes and turned to the boy who looked up to the sky. “I don’t know… I mean, I don’t love it. But it’s better than having nothing to do at home.” He giggled and Hyunjae did the same.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m misplaced here.” Hyunjae turned his face and looked back at Juyeon with doe eyes. “Like… I can’t explain but I feel like I don't-”

“Fit in?” Juyeon completed.

“...Yeah. I guess.” Hyunjae sighed.

“Why do you feel like that?” 

“I think everything is too harsh on us. I don’t know.” Hyunjae had his brows furrowed and had a slight tone of indignation on his voice. “We can’t do this, we can’t do that, we must like this, we must not like that… and why?”

“Is there something you want to do but they stop you?” Juyeon had a feeling of where this conversation was going and a part of him wished his gut was wrong.

Hyunjae stared at him in silence, opening and closing his mouth a couple of times like he didn’t know the answer. “Can you keep it a secret, please?”

Juyeon smiled and gave the boy his pinky finger. “I promise.”

Hyunjae laughed a little and crossed his pinky into Juyeon’s.

“Maybe… I think, sometimes… I-I think about other boys in the way I’m not supposed to?” He whispered.

Oh.  

Juyeon’s gut was right.

“Which scares me because… t-they say horrible things about it.” Hyunjae finished, voice so low it almost wasn’t audible. 

Juyeon felt the pain in Hyunjae’s voice and got a little closer to him, softly putting a hand on the boy’s cheek. “There’s nothing wrong with that, Hyunjae.” He whispered back. “They say God is about love, so why can’t we love somebody else as well?”

“We?” Hyunjae asked.

“Yeah. I know how you feel.” Juyeon gave him a delicate smile.

“Oh, I… I didn’t imagine, I’m sorry.” The older boy got shy and his face turned into the reddest shade of red Juyeon ever saw. It was cute, though.

Juyeon leaned in and gave Hyunjae a small peck on the corner of his lips. It was just a brush, but enough to make Hyunjae speechless and rent a whole space in his mind. 

They stayed there, looking back at the sky until Juyeon gasped, realizing the it was already in tones of purple and pink.

“Should we go back to the camp? It’s dinner time soon.” Juyeon asked, a little exasperated.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Hyunjae answered with a shy smile.

___________

In the next morning, Hyunjae was sitting in the church benches, talking to Jacob and Chanhee while they waited for the preaching to start.

Juyeon arrived a little after them, sneaking from Hyunjae’s back to surprise him.

“GOOD MORNING!” He shouted suddenly in Hyunjae’s ear and received a slap in response while the other two boys laughed. 

“Don’t do that, Juyeon! Oh my God…” Hyunjae laughed a bit and gave space to the boy to sit beside him.

Juyeon noticed that not many teens had arrived yet and Jacob and Chanhee were too entertained by something written on the tithe sheet, so he whispered to Hyunjae.

“Wanna go somewhere?”

“What?” Hyunjae asked, incredulous. “Don’t say nonsense.”

“Oh c’mon, you really want to listen to the preacher say ‘God is good and the Devil is bad’?” Juyeon counter attacked. “I love God but it’s the same thing everyday…”

Hyunjae rolled his eyes and thought about it. Well, Juyeon was right.

“We need to be fast so no one sees us-” Hyunjae almost didn’t finish the sentence and was already being pulled by the hand.

Juyeon led him through the trees, careful so no one could see them, and they got to the pool area, which wasn’t that far from the church but was completely deserted.

Hyunjae had mixed feelings about this; he felt guilty for sneaking out, but was also happy to be there with Juyeon. He saw the other boy stretching himself like a cat before sitting in a pool chair and sat beside him, feeling quite shy.

“I kept thinking about yesterday…” Hyunjae said, breaking the silence.

Juyeon smiled softly with that, his eyes turning into small moons. “What about it?”

Hyunjae shrugged. “I feel better knowing that I’m not a freak or… whatever.” 

“Of course you’re not. You’re too handsome to be a freak.” Juyeon provoked and bumped his shoulder on Hyunjae’s.

“Hey! Don’t say that.” Hyunjae answered seriously, pointing his finger at the younger one.

“Why not? It’s the truth.” The black haired boy whispered and started trailing his eyes throughout Hyunjae’s face, admiring every inch. 

They were so close. Their shoulders were still glued and, somehow, their feet were intertwined, brushing softly at each other.

Juyeon felt the tension in the other’s eyes and reassured him. “It’s okay, Hyunjae.”

By an instinct — that not even Hyunjae knew where it came from —, he kissed Juyeon. It was not his first kiss ever, but was the first one in a boy.

And God, it felt good .

Juyeon instantly put his hand in Hyunjae’s neck, pulling him closer. He bit Hyunjae’s bottom lip slightly and deepened the kiss even more so they were inhaling each other’s scent and pulling on each other’s t-shirts like their lives depended on it.

If kissing another boy was a sin, Hyunjae was very much willing to go to Hell just to taste Juyeon’s lips forever. It tasted like coffee and peach lip balm — that he probably stole from Chanhee — and he couldn’t get enough of it.

Juyeon wasn’t much different. The way Hyunjae’s smooth skin felt underneath his fingertips was so much better than he imagined and the way the older’s thighs were brushing against his own was making him see stars.

They separated to get some air and Hyunjae brushed his bangs out of his face, making Juyeon mesmerized by the view; his exposed forehead, the swollen red lips, the pool water reflecting into his golden skin. I’m definitely in Heaven , Juyeon thought.

“Hum…” Hyunjae mumbled, breathless, and giggled a little bit while looking down.

Juyeon thought he was adorable and stole another kiss, smiling between the quick pecks he gave in the boy’s lips.

Hyunjae slid his hands to the Juyeon’s neck, patting the hair there while biting his own bottom lip. The truth is that Hyunjae’s heart was racing like never before, but he couldn’t admit that.

They didn’t need to say anything. The silence was good and the stolen kisses they gave were too. 

Until they heard some footsteps in the trees behind them and separated fast from each other.

“Hey! What are you guys doing here?!” Jacob asked from afar, seeing the boys there by the pool. 

Juyeon simply shrugged.

“You’re impossible!” They heard Chanhee screaming from behind Jacob and they could tell he was being bratty. “Today we’re helping cook lunch, stop being laZY AND COME FAST!” He suddenly left, leaving Hyunjae and Juyeon laughing to themselves at that.

The day went on and, eventually, bedtime came. 

Hyunjae and Juyeon laid in their beds, staring at each other as they were both on the bottom bunk, and mouthed each other a ‘good night’ with the foolest smiles on their faces.

___________

Their sneaks became frequent.

On the next day, they kissed behind the football field; on the other day, they kissed in the boathouse; the other, in the pool again. 

They couldn’t get enough of each other.

One day, they went to the riverbank, splashing their feet in the water and playing with rocks.

“My parents basically adopted Jacob when he got here in Korea so, yeah, we’re brothers.” Hyunjae explained to Juyeon about his relationship with the canadian friend while piling up some rocks.

“That’s really cool, Jae.” Juyeon replied, sitting criss-crossed in front of Hyunjae and just watching the other boy talk. “And it’s nice because you were born in the same year. Chanhee and I are like that too.” 

“I can tell you two have a really strong bond. You’re like soulmates.” Hyunjae said, smiling.

“Do you believe in that?” Juyeon asked him, eyes closing a little because of the strong sun setting in front of them. “Soulmates and everything…”

“Maybe?” Hyunjae said nonchalantly and threw down his rock tower. 

Juyeon laughed and got closer to Hyunjae, sitting side by side with him now. “I believe in soulmates. Sometimes…” He said looking at the boy’s eyes, his voice almost above a whisper.

Hyunjae didn’t reply and just kissed him sweetly. Their lips fitted like they were meant to be glued forever.

It was sweet, gentle, and the boys didn’t want to be doing anything else right now. 

Juyeon cupped Hyunjae’s face and trailed kisses to his cheeks, going down to his jawline and chin, just giving pecks in all places he could. Hyunjae felt so loved, craving for Juyeon completely.

The boys were so immersed into the kiss, into the soft touches and heavy breaths that they didn’t notice the man staring at them for a few seconds.

“What is going on here?!” The man asked in an aggressive tone.

Hyunjae and Juyeon immediately separated themselves and looked at where the voice came from. 

The owner of the voice was simply Hyunjae’s dad . The church’s bishop.

Juyeon looked down at his lap without knowing what to do; his voice was gone.

“Dad?!” Hyunjae answered with wide eyes and nervousness in his voice. “It’s not wh-”

“To my room. Right now.” The man demanded, clearly irritated. “And you, Juyeon, go straight to your room and do nothing, understood?” He pointed to Juyeon and went away, straight followed by Hyunjae who was tripping on his own feet.

Juyeon did as he was told to and waited.

He felt like his heart was going to jump out through his mouth anytime soon, he walked in circles in the room and looked through the room’s window minute by minute.

I fucked everything up. He thought.

Just as he was losing himself in his anxious thoughts, he heard the door opening and met a crying Hyunjae. It was heartbreaking.

The boy’s eyes were swollen from crying, his hair was messy and Juyeon noticed some red light bruises in his wrists.

“I’m so sorry.” Hyunjae said in a tiny voice and covered his face in his palms. Juyeon hugged him instantly and they stayed there for a couple of minutes, like the hug could say millions of unsaid words.

Juyeon distanced a little just to look at Hyunjae’s face and saw the pain in his eyes again. 

“I can’t talk to you anymore.” Hyunjae whispered without looking at the taller boy.

Juyeon almost got to hear his heart breaking.

“What?” Juyeon asked, his vision blurred by the tears forming in his eyes. “No, Hyunjae, this can-”

“Yes, Juyeon!” Hyunjae got away from the embrace and stared at the roof. “My dad clearly didn’t like what he saw. He prohibited me from seeing you.”

“But…” Juyeon was lost, heartbroken, and didn’t know what to do. “But w-we’re friends, we can still t-talk and…” His voice was gone. 

Hyunjae shook his head, looking at Juyeon. “I don’t want to be a shame to my family…”

Oh.

Hyunjae had just finished breaking everything remaining inside of Juyeon.

Juyeon couldn’t blame him, though.

On that night, after finding an excuse to explain to Jacob and Chanhee about their awkwardness, Hyunjae and Juyeon went to bed with their backs to each other, without saying a single word.

___________

Fortunately, the next day was their last one there.

Hyunjae and Juyeon packed their bags in complete silence, while Jacob hummed to a song and Chanhee blabbed about some girl who fell from the stairs on the previous day.

Juyeon knew Chanhee was just doing that because he noticed the intense mood in the room. And he hoped Chanhee never asked him about what happened.

Few hours later, they got into the bus and sat exactly in the same row. Juyeon with Chanhee on the left, with Jacob and Hyunjae on the right. 

It was the perfect occasion that made Juyeon receive threatening looks by Hyunjae’s dad the whole ride.

By the end of afternoon, they arrived at the town and everyone parted ways back to their homes.

It was awkward, Hyunjae and Juyeon having to say goodbye to each other like nothing happened just to keep up appearances. But they had no other option and the handshake they gave felt… empty.

After Juyeon got home, greeted his mom and took a shower, he started to unpack his things. In between a shirt and another that he threw on the ground to take to the laundry, he noticed something.

Juyeon fumbled through the pile of clothing and found a crumpled paper — it was a small piece of the tithe sheet, with a handwriting he seemed to know already.

“Juyeon, I am so sorry to have done this to you. 

You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met and I’ll never forget the sweet things you made me feel.

I’ll pray for the day we can meet again. I fancy you so, my wild boy.

With much love, Hyunjae.”

It was torturous to read, but a part of Juyeon made him feel that, someday, they were going to be okay. 

+1

I said “no one has to know what we do”

His hands are in my hair

His clothes are in the room

And his voice is a familiar sound.

(Wildest Dreams)

___________

[Seoul, 2029]

Big Seoul city is always hyped with the best of Korean entertainment, from lots of K-Pop idols promoting their latest comebacks to trailers of new K-Dramas playing on the billboards.

But, lately, the media only had attention for the said ‘production of the year’: The Pretenders.

To the pleasure of all romantic comedy lovers, “The Pretenders” was a romcom starring the two biggest actors in the country: Lee Hyunjae and Lee Juyeon. 

They were the most popular actors lately; Hyunjae being the owner of a bubbly and cheerful personality, known for his charming characters, while Juyeon was way more discreet and mysterious, known for always playing the good guy in drama movies.

To put it simply: they were South Korea’s heartthrobs. And now, they would play a couple on the big screens, which attracted lots of curious people and buzz about LGBTQ+ debates.

Hyunjae was exactly the same person on and off cameras: fun, charming, smiley and gorgeous . Juyeon would be lying if he said he didn’t have a major crush on his workmate.

The men already knew each other before being paired to the movie; an after party here, a dinner night at a friend’s place there… they had plenty of opportunities to become friends but it never happened.

Well, maybe the universe had better plans.

Juyeon shook his thoughts off as he heard the director giving advice for their next scene.

They were in a big garden shooting an important scene of the movie. Hyunjae’s character would now give instructions to Juyeon’s character on how to act with his family to maintain their fake relationship.

Yes. The movie’s plot had the most loved and classic trope of all: fake relationship.

After receiving briefing and tips from the director, the shooting went on and on, filming scenes over and over again for hours with the rest of the cast until the sun was setting.

They had plenty of scenes that day, which meant shooting some of them in the afternoon and some during late night so, when the director discharges the cast for a few hours, they all go change and pack their stuff. Coincidentally — or not — Hyunjae and Juyeon are set in the same trailer. 

“No, but the way Younghoon’s character was acting dumb like he didn’t know about the fake relationship…” Hyunjae joked while they got inside the trailer together. 

“That’s exactly Younghoon in real life, he didn’t have to act.” Juyeon replied, locking the door behind him and already taking his clothes off and putting them on the hangers. “He’s really good, I like working with him.”

“Yeah, me too.” Hyunjae said, also putting his costume on the hangers and looking for his own clothes. “I like working with you too, Juyeon. You’re fun.”

Oh. Juyeon did not see that coming.

“Ah, really?” Juyeon asked nervously, giving the other man a shy smile while he put on his jeans. “You’re fun too, Hyunjae.”

Hyunjae looked at him and smiled shyly as well. The tension was a little higher than before, they didn’t know whether they were just being nice or the fact they were semi naked in front of each other.

After a moment of silence, Juyeon got the energy to ask Hyunjae. “Do you wanna have a drink? Like… I don’t know, just to kill time until we come back or relieve tension, we can know each other better too, but if you don’t want to it’s okay, it’s just a suggest-”

“I would love to.” Hyunjae interrupted his babbling with a smile on his face and now properly dressed with a white t-shirt and sweater pants.

Juyeon sighed in relief and smiled too, quickly dressing up so they could leave.

They decided to not draw any attention in a public place, so they drove to Juyeon’s home downtown.

It was a beautiful flat, big enough for just one person and it had a minimalist decoration — but with enough personality to make Hyunjae get to know a little bit better of Juyeon through the shelves full of romance books and vases of tulips in the living room.

“You did great on the scene, though. I don’t know why you were so insecure today.” Juyeon said, pouring a glass of wine to Hyunjae.

They were sit in Juyeon’s couch with some R&B playing in the background and talking about the shooting routine they just had.

“I wasn’t insecure today , I was just less bubbly than the other days.” Hyunjae laughed off, taking a sip of the wine.

Juyeon put the bottle on the center table and got comfortable beside the man. “Yeah, true.” He took a sip of wine from his glass. “Any specific reason for feeling like that today?”

He could see that Hyunjae got a little uncomfortable on his seat and immediately regretted asking, but it was too late.

“I…” Hyunjae started, with his voice low while sliding his finger in the glass’ edge. “I kind of put on this bubbly mask, most of the time… it’s how I deal with stuff.” 

Juyeon felt bad, despite being so curious about what Hyunjae meant with that. “I’m sorry… I-I shouldn’t have asked.” He took another sip of his wine, nervous.

“No, it’s okay.” Hyunjae smiled softly at him. “It’s just… those scenes with our characters’ families made me emotional. My own family didn’t quite accept me in the beginning, so…” His voice drifted away and he looked down at his lap.

“Religious much?”

“Yeah… but they understand it now. And they love me, so everything is better.”

“That’s amazing, Jae.” Juyeon half smiled at him. “I’m happy for you.”

Hyunjae suddenly felt something twitching in his stomach by the way Juyeon smiled and looked at him. It wasn’t pitiful, like everybody else looked whenever he told this story. 

It was genuine, empathic.

Hyunjae smiled back and the conversation drifted away, going through their favorite movies, secret talents and life curiosities about each other. Juyeon discovered Hyunjae loves his coffee with little milk and almost no sugar, while Hyunjae found out that Juyeon adores waterfalls.

Eventually, they needed to go back to the set for the final scenes of the day, but they definitely felt different towards each other.

They didn’t know why, but surely something changed.

On the next afternoon, they met again for more scenes and we can say that Hyunjae was… off. Deprivation of sleep was something that really affected his performance and, considering the fact that he only had 5 hours to sleep until their schedule began again, it wasn’t one of his best days on set.

Hyunjae’s character was supposed to have a monologue about his struggles to be accepted as a gay man, but it wasn’t working. 

Hyunjae just couldn’t focus on the feeling, his tongue was messing up the words and his body language wasn’t following the rest. It was a disaster.

As is normal in movie shootings, the director called it a day and decided to reschedule this scene; everyone was tired anyway.

They all bid their goodbyes and Hyunjae was thankful he would get a good night of sleep, but not. He spent hours fumbling through his sheets because his brain couldn’t turn off.

He picked up his phone from his bedside table and opened the message app, noticing Juyeon was online.

But it was 3:09 in the middle of the night. Why was he up? 

hey

you up?

lee juyeon 

heyo

yeah

couldn’t sleep

me neither..

i kept thinking about that scene, it was ridiculous

lee juyeon 

no it wasn’t!

everybody has bad days, it’s okay

but i was embarrassed, it never happened before

lee juyeon 

i think you were adorable

What?

why the hell would you think that lol

lee juyeon 

bc you are, duh

you're making me blush rn, stop

lee juyeon 

good

that was my goal

Hyunjae felt like his face would explode out of nervousness and, honestly, he couldn’t care less, he was loving this feeling.

you can’t do that

or i won’t be just acting on our

kissing scenes tomorrow

lee juyeon 

i wouldn’t mind that, actually

would you?

juyeon…

i’ll try to go back to sleep now

see u on the set?

lee juyeon 

always

have sweet dreams, blushy boy :)

you too, flirty boy ;)

Their connection just became stronger day by day; they started getting dinners together after shootings and having small talks on the set lounge during breaks, swearing it was for the sake of getting to know each other better.

And in the beginning, it was.

But eventually that turned out to be an excuse so they could spend more time together, even if the men hated to admit it to themselves.

Hyunjae started to pay more attention to Juyeon’s details; the little arc at the tip of his nose and the wrinkles in his eyes when he laughed too hard. It was also so dear to him the way Juyeon would always order the dishes for both of them because he knew exactly which was Hyunjae’s favorite.

On the other hand, Juyeon loved how Hyunjae always had a dad joke on his sleeve that never failed to make him laugh. Hyunjae had these little routine habits, like holding the door open, bringing an extra umbrella on rainy days and buying some peach gummies — which was their favorite — that made Juyeon’s heart beat differently.

This proximity became crystal clear to everyone and earned the men a lot of compliments from the director. Their touches, stares and conversations on camera got more realistic and the chemistry was simply unmatched.

One day, due to some problems with location, the whole cast got the day off from filming. Hyunjae and Juyeon could just skip the day and enjoy their Thursday but, of course, they didn’t want that.

Instead, Hyunjae invited Juyeon to his place so they could practice some important scenes that were going to be shot soon.

The older was sitting in his kitchen island with script in hands, just marking his lines while humming a song when the doorbell rang. He ran to open it, finding a smiley Juyeon behind it.

“Hi, Jae. I bought us some ice cream, figured we would need some sugar boost.” He giggled and lifted a takeaway bag.

“Oh, I really needed that.” Hyunjae smiled back and made room for Juyeon to step in. He grabbed two spoons in the kitchen and gestured to the couch “Come here.” 

Juyeon sat beside him, immersed into the flat’s furniture. It was extravagant, with lots of golden pots and white-textured fabrics. 

“Liked the decoration?” Hyunjae teased while opening the candy.

“Yeah, it’s really… you.” Juyeon got closer and took a spoon of ice cream from the pot. 

“You will grow tired of me until the end of this shooting.” Hyunjae said with a full mouth and laughed off.

“Nah, I won’t.” Juyeon rolled his eyes, leaning his head into the couch’s backrest. 

“You’re pretty tolerable. Plus, it’s a pleasure to be shooting with you.”

Hyunjae blushed and looked down at his lap, feeling Juyeon’s sharp stare at him. “Well, we could… um… practice? W-we won’t have much time before the…” He scratched his head, knowing he was just fumbling nervously because of Juyeon.

“The shoot.” Juyeon completed, taking his script out of the bag he had thrown at the floor. 

“Yeah, the shoot.” Hyunjae got up in a hurry to get his script and take the ice cream pot to the freezer. “It’s… scene 188, right?” He asked on his way back to the living room.

“That’s right.” Juyeon asked, getting up from the couch and standing in front of Hyunjae to start the practice. “Do I start?”

Hyunjae nodded, focused on his character.

Juyeon also took a few seconds to get into the mood and started. “I can’t do this anymore, Sujin. It’s unbearable to keep lying to everyone like this… to be lying to you.”

“But it will be over soon, Haneul, I promise…” Hyunjae’s voice was trembling and his body language made him look small, fragile. “Then you won’t need to even look at me anym-”

“That’s the thing! How can I not look at you anymore? When you’re the one I want every single day?” Juyeon started to raise his voice up, showing annoyance. “I am completely in love with you, Sujin. And I’m not pretending at all.”

Juyeon already knew that this scene would be the end of him. How could he pretend to be saying things to Hyunjae when, in reality, he meant every single word of that dialogue in real life?

And Hyunjae knew that. Because, well, he was feeling the same.

“These… these feelings are real. And, if you decide to never see me again, that’s fine, but I’m hurt. I want to feel you and love you, with no… no masks or lies.” Juyeon wasn’t even reading the script anymore. Despite following his lines, he had no idea whether he was still acting or not.

Hyunjae was just as nervous hearing the younger’s lines. He got closer to him, letting his arms hang loose by his side and staring at Juyeon declaring his love, even though he was pretending.

But Hyunjae saw the opportunity and he had to grab it.

“Then don’t pretend.” Hyunjae said, getting so close that their noses were almost touching. He hesitated, feeling his heart race inside his chest when he made eye contact with Juyeon. “Just love me.”

“H-Hyunjae, this… this is not in the script.” Juyeon muttered, looking at Hyunjae without taking his eyes off the man’s face. He admired every single inch of his features in a way he never did before.

“I know.” Hyunjae said, his voice barely a whisper only the two of them could hear. 

They couldn’t hear anything else but the birds singing outside and the thumps of their hearts beating, their breaths getting unsteady, the scripts discarded on the floor long ago. The air felt thick around them and the rays of sunset were showering them through the window when Juyeon closed the space between their mouths in a kiss filled with emotions. Real emotions.

Their lips are timid at first, moving slowly, but the tension picked up soon.

Hyunjae was drawn closer by Juyeon's hands as they tangled in his hair and moved up his neck. Hyunjae held Juyeon's waist, pulling their bodies as close as he could and feeling everything about the younger’s body. 

“I’ve been dreaming about this for so long, Hyunjae…” Juyeon confessed desperately, a warm breath against the other’s mouth.

“Me too, Juyeon, me too.” Hyunjae almost didn’t finish his sentence before crashing his lips into the Juyeon’s jawline and trailing kisses through his skin. He pulled the taller gently until they stumbled into the couch and sat on his lap.

Juyeon cupped Hyunjae’s cheeks, forcing him to look at his eyes with yearning gazes between them before breaking into another kiss on the lips. Every touch and kiss between them felt so strong, like some unreasonable, trapped tension that needed to be released.

Hyunjae shifted slightly in Juyeon's lap, letting out a quiet moan as their kiss deepened. As Juyeon ran his hands under Hyunjae's shirt, he could feel his muscles tense and send shivers to his spine.

It was heavenly.

And they couldn’t get enough of each other.

Hours of kisses and cuddles later, Juyeon went back home. They didn’t want to rush anything and it would be better to keep this like this.

But that didn’t mean they weren’t reliving what happened over and over again in their heads.

hey flirty boy

what are u doing

online on twitter at 1 am

juyo ᗢ

oh

are you stalking me?

no?

juyo ᗢ

?

maybe

i just

nvm

juyo ᗢ

no wait i was joking

what were you going to say?

nothing

tell me what you’re thinking abt

you

can’t stop thinking abt you, tbh

that’s weird im sorry

juyo ᗢ

its not

Hyunjae saw Juyeon was typing and stopped. Then he started typing again and stopped again. He did that around three times which almost made Hyunjae throw his own phone on the wall.

He was glad he didn’t, though.

juyo ᗢ

cause i can’t stop thinking about you too

Hyunjae stopped, dead frozen on his bed, head empty, palms sweating as hell while he stared at the message.

juyo ᗢ

pls say something 

and what do we do now

juyo ᗢ

nothing changes for me

you’re still my workmate

who i kiss everyday

lol

but who i’d like to kiss off screen too

lol

okay

youre going to younghoon’s pre

wedding tomorrow, right?

juyo ᗢ

of course

see u there?

for sure

i'll sleep now..

have a good night, juyo

juyo ᗢ

you too, jae <3

On the next day, they were all gathered on a fancy rooftop to celebrate Younghoon and Miyeon’s wedding. 

She was also an actress, a very dear and successful one, and was the love of Younghoon’s life. They were two adorable lovebirds and the whole country was waiting for this special event in the cinema world.

The party really captured the couple’s essence; the place was beautifully decorated with fairy lights and the DJ was blasting some house music to hype the guests.

Hyunjae and Juyeon met there, as agreed, and were having the best time of their lives. From the bar, they could see everything and gossip about all their famous friends; from telling how good Sunwoo’s latest single produced by Soyeon was to laughing about the way Changmin was embarrassing himself to ask Chanhee out or exposing that Sangyeon and Minnie were secretly dating for months now.

“I’m serious! I had NO idea they were together!” Hyunjae defends himself when Juyeon doesn’t believe he didn’t know the gossip.

“Bullshit! Just look at them!” Juyeon leans at Hyunjae and points to Sangyeon and Minnie who were dancing together on the dancefloor. “Sangyeon would never look at someone like that, they’re almost eating each other alive.”

Hyunjae snorted, spitting out his beer from the laugh. “Look what you made me do! C’mon!”

Juyeon laughed out loud as well and grabbed some tissues at the bar and got closer to Hyunjae to clean his face. 

“Do you wanna dance?” Juyeon asked in Hyunjae’s ear.

“Are you gonna dance with me like they are?” Hyunjae smirked and looked at Sangyeon and Minnie who were still glued to each other.

Juyeon didn’t answer anything, just smiled and pulled Hyunjae by the hand to the crowd of people, holding him close with firm hands on the man’s waist.

Hyunjae slid his hands through Juyeon’s biceps, all through his shoulders until his neck, where he grabbed his hair there while they danced to the electronic beat of the song. “It’s been a long time since I had this much fun with someone.” He shouted to Juyeon’s ear through the loud music.

Juyeon instantly opened a smile and his heart started pounding in his chest. “Same, Jae. I love being with you, you know that, right?” He answered, pulling Hyunjae even closer.

“I do.” Hyunjae crossed his arms around the younger’s neck and suddenly the world around them disappeared again. 

They didn’t know if the place got quieter or it was just the dizzy effect of the alcohol in their veins, but all they could feel was their bodies moving in sync to the music and their heavy breathes from the dancing.

It happened every time. 

Their habit of forgetting the world outside when they were filming together became a real thing. So, in real life, the only thing they could focus on was their real emotions. The real pace of their heartbeats together; the real butterflies in the stomach whenever they touched each other.

“Hyunjae…” Juyeon couldn’t think straight anymore; he was drowned into the other man’s body and the tension was too much to handle. “I…”

Hyunjae waited for the rest of the sentence with anticipation while he intensely gazed at Juyeon, their foreheads touching and hands all over each other.

“I love you.” Juyeon said at Hyunjae’s ear and slightly slid his hand inside the man’s red shirt.

Hyunjae felt overwhelmed, in a good way, and kissed Juyeon. 

It was just a small touch for some seconds until Hyunjae shouted back an ‘I love you too’ against the other’s lips, which was inaudible to Juyeon, but more than enough for him to get the message and kiss his lover again, more intensely this time.

Both of them kept smiling widely through the kisses while they still danced to the energetic music and felt each other’s bodies through their fingertips.

Despite their friends’ tease from afar, in that moment, nothing else mattered.

___________

They managed to hide their dating-but-not-really thing for nearly six months.

Running away from paparazzi, declining fan service and attending just private events only were in their day-to-day lives because they had a dating ban contract to follow until the movie’s premiere.

Which was today.

The event was already set up in Lotte World Tower, the biggest cinema in town, with a huge red carpet and fancy decorations.

The journalists were in place to receive the stars that soon arrived at the ceremony and all the taking pictures and doing interviews routine began.

Hyunjae and Juyeon arrived together, as it’s usual for movie couples, wearing matching suits and looking gorgeous as ever. After all their co-stars were already there and lots of flashes and autographs later, they all got inside the cinema room.

The screening went perfectly well. 

Besides being a romantic comedy with a cliche plot, the movie brought many important discussions about love, sexuality and self-acceptance, which were highly praised by the critics and enthusiasts there.

After the ovation, as the lights gradually came up, the crew stood up to take the stage for a curtain call.

The director began his speech, thanking all the professionals who made the project possible, and handed the microphone to each of the stars to show their gratitude for the movie.

The supporting actors, Younghoon and Yuqi, gave their speeches as well, leaving Juyeon and Hyunjae last.

Sweetly as always, Juyeon thanked all the crew and especially Hyunjae for being an amazing co-star. As soon as he finished, he handed Hyunjae the microphone with an assuring smile; Juyeon knew what was coming.

Hyunjae smiled shyly and began his speech. “Wow, I don’t even know what to say… it’s great to see you all here tonight. This movie has been a challenge, but I’m so grateful to have been a part of it.”

He paused and the place fell silent, waiting for his next words.

“My character delivers a monologue, hum… an important one about being judged and in pain for being a homosexual guy in society nowadays. And, the thing is that… the monologue wasn’t just a scene for me, it was my real story. Playing Sujin was an opportunity to face hardships inside myself that were too scary so it was a completely honest letter for all men like me out there.”

Hyunjae turned to look at Juyeon and smiled warmly when he saw the man getting emotional beside him.

“But this wouldn’t have happened without the support of Juyeon, the best co-star I could ever ask for.”

Juyeon’s face was burning red, feeling so moved by Hyunjae’s words that everyone in the theater could notice.

“Juyo, your talent and your kindness on and off screen gave me the fuel to keep going and having you by my side meant the world to me. Thank you for everything.” Hyunjae finished in a low voice tone, clearly nervous.

Juyeon took Hyunjae’s free hand in his and intertwined their fingers, pressing a loving kiss on his cheek. 

Hyunjae was caught off-guard, but smiled widely, with his heart overflowing with joy and love for Juyeon. Just like that, all the present guests erupted into applause, cheers and whistles again, showing how well accepted their story was.

The simple kiss on the cheek became a subject all over the news; all journalists were cheering for Hyunjae and Juyeon’s great chemistry on and off camera, photos of the moment were in gossip magazines and their social media were full of curious comments.

There was a lot of bustle. People were theorizing a romance between them and how many girls would feel heartbroken with the news.

Hyunjae, being the practical Virgo man he was, was determined to put an end to all of this and he didn’t need much to convince his softie Capricorn.

Together, they had absolutely nothing to lose.

So they sat in their shared bed and started scrolling through their phone galleries for a nice picture of them when Hyunjae found the perfect one.

They were both at Jacob and Shuhua’s engagement dinner, hugging each other with huge smiles on their faces. 

Juyeon was wearing a black silk shirt, with tailoring pants and some chain necklaces hanging loose with his classic brushed back hairstyle; while Hyunjae wore a cropped white velvet shirt with delicate golden earrings matched with his newly made blonde hair.

They were stunning, and they felt the happiest at that moment.

(And yes, with so many weddings around them, Juyeon was already making plans… but Hyunjae didn’t need to know. Yet.)

Juyeon decided he would publish the picture and kept it simple.

He opened the app and wrote the caption right away.

“i’m so lucky to be able to love you every single day. on and off screens.

it’s time to celebrate love in all forms so yeah, we’re gay

keep scrolling

xoxo”

Juyeon showed it to Hyunjae, who giggled like a little girl and gave him thumbs up, signaling he could publish it.

Juyeon finally pressed “post” and threw his phone far away on the bed, hiding his face in the crook of Hyunjae’s neck and smiling nervously.

They fell on the bed together and stayed hugged like that; like time wasn’t going by for them.

In their little world of care, love, lilac tulips and peach gummies, Hyunjae and Juyeon were safe as long as they were in each other’s arms.

Love has found them well and they embraced it.