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You had been pretty damn thrilled when the growth spurts started- sure, they were massively uncomfortable, but in the end it was absolutely worth it. You had always been on the shorter end of the spectrum- not the shortest of your friends, but definitely below average for a guy your age, so the fact that you now were more than a head taller than even Eridan was something you were uncharacteristically happy about, even if you never actually brought it up. Sure, it was nice, but it wasn’t something you’d admit to thinking about. After all, it was a pretty silly thing to be happy about, and it wasn’t like you needed another reason to be embarrassed. Better to just get that tiny sense of satisfaction when you had to look down to talk to someone who used to do the same to you, but never actually let yourself acknowledge it. It didn’t matter, after all, right?
Still, you can’t help but be a little annoyed in the back of your head when you finally meet up with Jade and John and she’s a couple of inches taller than you. You try not to let it bother you at first, but that lasts all of about thirty minutes before you get frustrated. It wouldn't be so bad, you think, if it had been a bigger difference. The fact that it was so small just made it all the more frustrating, and in all honesty you don't know why. Even her ridiculous woofbeast ears (which are absolutely not the sexy anime ears you had let yourself think they were after John's letter, but were weirdly adorable in their own right) are just a smidgen higher up than your horns, which if anything made them even more distracting. You're uncharacteristically silent about it, instead electing to tease John about still wearing his ridiculous hood all the time while she catches up with Dave and Rose. It isn't until you're talking to him that you've realized just how much everyone's changed over the years- it hits you when you tell him to calm his grumpy ass down and you mean it, and both of you just stop and stare for a minute because holy shit, that's a reversal. Still, newly curmudgeonly or not, he's John and you've missed him, and it doesn't take long until it feels like you're friends again. In all honesty, you're happier about that than you probably should be- with Sollux gone, Gamzee constantly hiding, and everyone else busy breaking down the species barrier one sloppy make-out at a time, it had been starting to feel like the only friend you had anymore was dead (Not that you didn't grudgingly like spending time with Meenah, but she was a tad excitable, and you had an awful habit of slipping into awful puns thanks to her). You were, frankly, absolutely thrilled to have friends who weren't caught up in ridiculous relationship drama (even though you yourself had had awkwardly unrequited feelings for both of them in the past), and everything, height difference aside, was going absolutely swimmingly (dammit Meenah) right up until John mentions how surprised he was that you and Jade weren't shoving your tongues down each other's protein chutes, considering how she talked about you, and suddenly you're spending rest of the day locked in your room steadfastly avoiding everyone and everything because there is no way in hell you are dealing with that.
The rest of the day turns into a week, which turns into two- fourteen days where you tell everyone you're sick, and do nothing but sit at your computer while you're awake, and spend time with your ancestor while you're asleep. After all, you figure, there's nowhere anyone is less likely to bother you- or look for you, for that matter. It isn't until Kankri notices how gaunt you're getting, and launches into a sermon about the dangers of thinspiration when you're already flaunting a truly disgusting amount of thin privilege that you realize you haven't actually eaten at all in that time. You don't even bother excusing yourself before you wake up, he's so far into his rant that it'll be at least a good twenty minutes before he realizes you're gone, so you just smack yourself really hard in the face until you're awake.
A quick sideways glance at your computer's clock shows that everyone else is probably asleep by now- never a guarantee, considering you've all spent three years working on a sleep schedule that none of you are particularly used to, but it's a good bet that you won't be interrupted. You climb out of the ridculous horn pile and stretch- you don't know exactly how long you've been asleep, but your body is tired and resistant to actually moving, which isn't helped at all by how malnourished you are. Groaning, you make a mental note to never go so long without eating again as you leave your room and head towards the room that had become a makeshift kitchen. You thank every betentacled horrorterror out there that you don't run into anyone in the corridors; you doubt you could handle actual social interaction right now, especially before you get food in you. Your exultation stops in a pumpbeat when you walk into the kitchen and see Harley taking some eggs out of the thermal hull. For a brief second you contemplate absconding as quietly as you can before she sees you, but before the thought even finishes her ridiculous woofbeast ears perk up, and she's turning around to look at you and god dammit.
She sounds cheerful when she greets you, pleased and sweet and you can't help but let a note of cheer into your own voice when you respond. You assure her that you're alright, and what you had wasn't fatal, but the fact that you had been a bulgewhiffing dumbshit and forgotten to eat at all very well could be if you didn't fix that soon, so you'd just be unreasonably self-sacrificing and gracious and get out of her hair until she was done in the kitchen. Before you can leave though, she's pulled you back in, forced you to sit down at the small table in the corner, and obtained more eggs, all the while lecturing you for being an irresponsible jackass and making everyone worry. You're a little flabbergasted, but nowhere near enough to prevent you from raising an (admittedly weak) objection, but the glare she gives you as she starts cooking is enough to make you shut up. Probably just because of how tired you are, you tell yourself, and you almost believe it.
In all honesty, while you aren't at all fond of the realization that she's taking care of you, you've missed seeing her get annoyed with you. It wasn't anything black, at least you didn't think so, but you had always derived a genuine enjoyment from your arguments in the past; something about how she went from sweet to "shut the hell up" in the blink of a ganderbulb made you want to laugh. When it came right down to it, there wasn't much more fun than people who could give as good as they got, and Jade Harley had been an excellent verbal sparring partner. With how out of it you are now though, you can't respond with anywhere near the ferocity you'd like to, so you just sort of sit there meekly and mutter under your breath.
By the time she's finished making two of what she calls an "omelette" and what looks more to you like an egg blanket with bits of hogbeast meat and melted solidairy shavings, you're too tired and hungry to do much but thank her when she plops one in front of you, and takes the seat across from you. You prod at it briefly with a throb stalk before deciding it's safe and taking a bite. It's not the worst thing you've ever tasted, so you thank her again and proceed to shovel the rest of it into your protein chute in what is quite possibly the least dignified display Paradox Space has ever seen. Fuck if you care though, it's delicious and you haven't eaten in two weeks and before you know it you're finished. Jade, for her part, takes more time with her own, simply raising an eyebrow at your enthusiasm and asking if you liked it. Amazing absolutely everyone, you have the decency to be a little bashful when you reassure her that in case it wasn't obvious from your ridiculous impression of a half-starved lusus going to town on their kibble, it was the most beautiful thing you've ever fondled with your nutrition plateau. She laughs, and you kick yourself a little when you think it's even more delicious than the food. You can absolutely not let yourself go down that line of thought, not again, no matter what Egbert says. You're not anything resembling a desirable red partner, and even if John was right and Jade disagreed, actually being in your presence for more than five minutes would knock those stupid notions right out of her brain. Better to not even kid yourself.
Still, you do the dishes after you've both eaten, and the two of you catch up while she puts them away. With some food in you you're able to banter back, and you realize you'd missed it even more than you thought. You haven't felt warm like this in a long time, and you're having fun right up until she smirks and calls you "nubbyshouts" and you realize that spending all of your sleeping time with Kankri might not have been the best idea because fuck you should have seen that meet-up coming. You're maybe a bit too casual when you ask if she's met Meenah then, hoping that your new friend hadn't said anything too embarrassing- or incriminating, for that matter. Jade cheerfully replies that the two of them got along swimmingly, and you're thanking your lucky stars for actually existing for once before she oh-so-innocently says that they managed to unlock the way to a beautiful friendship. You don't even try to hide a groan of displeasure as you drain the sink and hand her the last plate because this is one of the most mortifying moments of your life, and she's laughing again. Clearly, you decide, it's time to lock yourself in your respiteblock again. You gruffly thank her for the food again and start to leave, but stop in the entryway when she calls you adorable. You can actually feel the blood rushing to your face as you turn around to snap at her but she's right in front of you and before you can stop yourself you're asking how the hell she got so tall. She just shrugs, still smiling, her own cheeks a little flushed, and asks why you slouch all the time.
Oh.
Duh.
...okay that didn't make much of a difference, but it's enough for you to realize you're actually the same height, so that's one less thing for you to worry about. Unfortunately, at this point, height was the least of your worries anyway. You pinch the bridge of your nose in a way that you hope expresses annoyance but is really just an excuse for you to close your eyes as you incredulously repeat the word "adorable." She's blushing even more when you finally open your eyes again, and she's going on about how it was funny and sweet and it made her day to find out you had still thought of her because she had been thinking about you a lot and then both of you realize what she said and both of your cheeks are glowing in a way that could put Kanaya to shame. Being the dumbass that you are, you make the mistake of admitting that you didn't think she'd be stupid enough to feel the same way. She calls you an idiot and before you can retort her lips are on yours and even though you're surprised you can't help but feel that this feels right. When she pulls away you nervously agree that maybe you could have shown better judgement, and then you throw rational thought to the wind and kiss her back.
Maybe, you think, you don't need to lock yourself away again after all.