Work Text:
Eddie wakes up with the blinding light of the sun against his eyes, feeling uncomfortable. Even without opening his eyes, he knows he’s not in his bed. Reluctantly, he opens his eyes. He looks around and realizes he’s still in his car, suddenly remembering he fell asleep here last night.
His memories from yesterday come flooding back–how he kissed Buck, ran away, kept driving around for hours with no destination in mind until he finally came to a stop and parked his car near the pier. Groaning at the crick in his neck, he looks at his watch.
It's a little past 7 A.M., still early enough to go pick Chris up, drop him off at school and go to the station... but he’s not ready to face Buck yet.
Eddie may have already realized he was in love with Buck, but the kiss was amazing and is what he can’t stop thinking about. Since last night, he’s been unable to stop replaying it in his mind–Buck's soft lips on his, the taste of Buck on his tongue, Buck's huge arms wrapped around him. It felt like everything he imagined it would be yet so much more. But... Buck is in a relationship with someone else and his feelings for Eddie are platonic.
How is Eddie supposed to move on from this feeling and save their friendship?
Buck will be expecting an explanation–and likely an apology–but Eddie has no idea what to say or where to start. How can he explain to Buck that he’s in love with him, but never realized until Buck came out and made him question everything about himself? And how does he do this in a way that won't ruin what they have?
He decides to skip work today, maybe catch a few more hours of sleep. He’ll be able to think some more on what to say to Buck. He checks his phone, sees multiple missed phone calls from Buck but ignores the notifications, instead sending Cap a quick text explaining he’s not feeling well and needs the day off.
After starting the car again, he drives off to pick up Chris and his friends and drops them off at school before heading back home where he takes a long, hot shower and sleeps most of the day.
—
The next day, Buck is nervous. He’s in his car on the way to work and he can’t stop fidgeting. He hopes Eddie shows up at work today, but even if he doesn’t, Buck is determined to talk to him today, even if he has to hunt him down across the city. He’s just so worried. Eddie loves his job. Buck knows how committed he is; he never skips unless it's serious. So if he doesn't show up today, he’s probably feeling upset about what happened between them, thinking Buck is mad at him–and he can’t have that.
He's still in awe over everything that’s happened the past couple days. Realizing he is and was in love with best friend this whole time and that his best friend is in love with him too… it feels like something finally clicked in his mind and everything suddenly makes sense.
Everything he’s been searching for in a partner was right in front of him all along. Someone who will love and support him unconditionally, who would never abandon him, someone he can build a family with. Eddie’s already given him everything. He makes Buck happy, and Buck knows he can make Eddie happy too. They can have a beautiful life together. They can have a beautiful family together and nothing would change because they already have it; they just need to talk, air everything out and (he hopes) make it official.
Buck arrives at the station earlier than usual and loiters around in the parking lot waiting for Eddie. A few minutes later he sees Eddie's truck, he gets out of his car and walks over to him. Eddie opens the door and looks up at him, heaving out a shaky sigh.
“After our shift, okay? I promise you I won’t run away,” he says with a determined look in his eye.
Buck nods and decides to let it go for now. The parking lot isn’t exactly the ideal place to have this conversation anyway. He’s at least happy to see Eddie showed up to work and that he seems okay. He gives Eddie a shy smile before making his way inside.
-
Their shift goes about as is expected for firefighters in a huge city. Buck keeps an eye on Eddie all day, but they manage to keep the tension between themselves.
At the end of their shift Buck meets Eddie in the locker room after making sure the two of them are alone.
Gathering his courage, he clears his throat. “So… do you wanna come to my place?”
Eddie looks thoughtful for a few seconds before deciding “I can't. I gotta get home. Chris is there with Carla. Do you wanna come over?”
Buck gives a small nod. “Sure. Wanna ride with me?”
Eddie lets out a self-deprecating laugh. “I'm not so sure you’ll wanna ride with me after we talk.”
Buck doesn’t know what he was expecting from Eddie, but it definitely wasn’t that. Even if things didn’t go the way he’d like them to, he would never let it ruin their friendship.
“C’mon, Eddie. Don’t be ridiculous. I'm sure–” Eddie cuts him off.
“It's better this way, Buck.”
Buck is frustrated but he knows there’s no use arguing with Eddie now, so he lets him win. They head out to their cars, Buck following Eddie's truck in his Jeep.
-
Once they arrive at Eddie’s house, they chat with Carla for a few minutes before bidding her goodbye and heading inside. They go to Chris’ room to say hi, Eddie giving him a quick kiss on the side of his head. Chris looks up from his video game when he sees Buck and smiles. “Hi, Buck.”
“Hey, kiddo. How was school today?” Buck replies while heading into his room, Eddie leaving them alone while he goes into the kitchen.
“It was fine,” Chris replies and Buck almost laughs. It’s strange to think of Chris as a teenager now, but he is: he won't speak excitedly to Buck about every new thing he learned in school anymore.
Chris looks at his door to the hallway, making sure his dad isn’t within earshot before looking back at Buck.
“I'm worried about him, Buck. He's been acting weird lately and yesterday he spent most of the day in bed.”
Buck’s heart gives a painful lurch. Of course Chris caught onto Eddie's behavior. He’s always been a perceptive kid, and despite the teenage angst, that hasn’t changed.
Buck tries to be as reassuring as possible, placing a comforting hand on Chris’ shoulder. “Yeah, I’ve noticed too… But try not to worry, okay? That’s why I’m here. I’m gonna talk to your dad and do my best to help him figure things out,” he finishes with a warm smile.
Chris nods, noticeably relieved. “Thanks, Buck,” he says with a small smile of his own.
Buck ruffles his hair, his heart warmed, and goes to find Eddie.
-
Eddie’s washing a few dishes when Buck finds him in the kitchen, his back turned to Buck. Buck's eyes wander down to his butt before he forces himself to focus. He has so much to say to Eddie, but he doesn't know where to start.
Before he gets the chance to say anything, Eddie walks over to the fridge and grabs two bottles of beers, giving one to Buck before taking a few gulps of his own.
He’s looking at Buck with his big sad brown eyes and an unreadable expression. And he is so fucking beautiful. Buck has no idea how he didn’t realize he was in love with Eddie sooner. One kiss and it’s like the dam has broken, revealing years of hidden love and lust and adoration for his best friend. Buck is so lost in his thoughts that he almost doesn’t hear when Eddie clears his throat to speak.
“Listen, Buck. I'm sorry. I really am.”
Of course he’s trying to take it back, Buck thinks to himself, almost rolling his eyes. Buck expected it, but he’s not about to let it happen.
“Eddie, stop. You don't have to apologize.”
“No, please–just, let me finish, Buck. I know you’re dating Tommy and that kissing you was wrong. I wasn’t thinking. I felt ambushed, I didn’t know what to say so of course I said all the wrong things… I guess I panicked because I couldn't let you think I’m some kind of bigot or that I’m treating you differently when it’s the furthest thing from the truth.” Eddie pauses, like he’s trying to figure out what to say next, probably thinking of a way to explain away the kiss.
But Buck doesn’t want that. He’s had more than enough time to think about the kiss; he’s realized Eddie's feelings for him and his own feelings for Eddie. He knows Eddie well enough to know he’s probably thinking Buck will let him down easy. Buck will just have to take the lead this time.
He looks at Eddie with a soft but earnest expression. “I broke up with Tommy.”
That stops Eddie in his tracks. “Why?”
Buck goes to stand in front of Eddie, looking into his eyes. “Because you kissed me, Eddie. You kissed me and I couldn’t think about anything else. I knew it wasn't fair to him. I didn't know that being with you was even a possibility. But as soon as I realized it was, I knew it was you.” He takes a deep, shaky breath. “It’s always been you.”
When he finishes, both of them stand silent, staring at each other while they both absorb the weight of Buck’s words.
Eddie’s face goes through a range of emotions. Surprise, disbelief, confusion and then, finally, hope. Slowly, a smile starts to grow on his face, matching Buck’s own earnest one. He licks his lips, taking a small step forward to get closer to Buck.
“I realized my feelings for you aren't completely platonic as soon as you came out to me, but I wanted to support you in any way I could and… you were on a date with him.”
Picking up on the jealous tone in Eddie's voice, Buck’s smile grows wide, and he can’t help teasing him a bit. “And you had a girlfriend, y’know.”
Eddie looks a little embarrassed. “Yeah, I know… that's why I broke up with her.”
Buck’s eyebrows raise in surprise. “Really?”
“It just didn’t feel right. I should've realized sooner, but I guess I wanted to make it work, especially once you told me you were dating Tommy. I thought maybe being with her would help my feelings for you go away. It seems so stupid thinking about it now, but I was desperate.” Buck can see just how hopeless Eddie was feeling as he speaks, and it breaks his heart.
“Oh, Eddie,” Buck says. He wraps his arms around Eddie, leaning his forehead against his. He didn’t even notice when they got this close, but their bodies are practically touching, and Eddie’s lips are just a few inches away from his. Buck takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. It would be so easy to close the gap and kiss Eddie again…
So he does.
The kiss is so different from last time. Last time, it was desperate and deep, all tongue and teeth. This time it's tender and delicate, almost shy.
Buck is hyperaware of everything–the softness of Eddie’s lips against his own, both of their mouths opening slowly, the sweet taste of Eddie’s mouth, a warm, wet tongue sliding against his own, Eddie's strong arms wrapped firmly around his waist, the feeling of Eddie's cheek against his palm, Eddie’s smell, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie…
Buck loses track of time and space.
Finally, after what seems like hours, Eddie starts to pull away slowly. His breathing sounds loud in the silence of the room, the two of them looking into each other’s eyes. This time instead of running away, Eddie keeps his arms around Buck and buries his face into his neck. Buck tightens his own arms around him and presses a sweet kiss against the side of his face. They stay like that until their breathing slows down, hands rubbing comforting circles against each other.
Eddie lets out a small laugh, pulling back and smiling down at Buck. “We’re a couple of idiots, huh?”
Buck laughs too, grin nearly splitting his face. He presses a quick peck against Eddie smiling mouth. “Yeah, maybe.” His smile softens and he knows Eddie can see the love all over his face. “But we got here.”
Eddie puts some distance between them, untangling himself from Buck, but he keeps a hand on his waist. His hair is a mess, and his lips are swollen; Buck knows he isn't looking much better.
Eddie’s face is serious as he asks “So, are we really doing this?”
“I really hope so, Eds.” Buck answers softly. He does all he can to convey how sure he is of them with his eyes. They’ve always been good at reading each other.
“I want to, Buck, believe me. It’s just… you know my relationship history. I'm no good at this. I don't wanna fuck this up. I can’t lose you. And, there’s the whole ‘sexuality’ thing… I have no idea what any of this means or how to identify myself. I just know I loved Shannon and I know I love you now.”
Buck gets what he’s saying. He’s terrified of losing Eddie too. The two of them are best friends, they’re each other’s support system–but that's exactly why Buck is so sure that they’ll make it work. They’ve already overcome so much in the 6 years they’ve known each other, and all of this together–as a unit.
“I love you too,” he smiles. “We've been best friends for years now. I know all of this. I know you and you know me. I'm not perfect with relationships either. But,” he takes Eddie’s hand in his, pulling the two of them close together once more. “We can make it work together, we always have, and I believe in us. Honestly, this just feels like a natural progression to me.”
Eddie says nothing, a serious look on his face. Before Buck has a chance to freak out, Eddie seems to come to a decision, straightening his shoulders and grabbing both of Buck's hands in his own.
“We really do make things work, don't we?”
Buck nods, smile on his lips growing again once he realizes they’re both finally on the same page.
Eddie rubs a thumb against Buck’s cheek softly, leaning into Buck’s space. Right before he kisses him, he whispers,
“I believe in us too.”
-
Later, once Buck and Eddie manage to pull themselves apart, they make their way to the living room, both slightly giddy as they sit together on the couch.
Buck takes Eddie's hand again, quickly getting addicted to it. “Next time just talk to me, okay? Whatever it is.” He bumps his shoulder against Eddie’s. “You really got me worried y’know. Your kid, too.”
“Our kid now, Buck.” Eddie grins stupidly at him.
“What?” said Buck, surprised with where this conversation is going.
“We’re in a relationship now, so he’s our kid.” Eddie says, looking smug. His smile drops when Buck’s words finally register. “Wait– Chris knows?”
“Earlier he said you’ve been acting weird and that he was worried. I told him I would take care of it.”
“Dammit,” Eddie sighs. “I should’ve been more careful. I need to stop passing my problems onto my kid.” Buck places a comforting hand against Eddie’s back, upset that his boyfriend is clearly a little frustrated with himself now.
“Hey, it's our kid now, remember? He’s a smart kid, and he’s growing up. He loves you, of course he’s going to worry about you.” He places a quick kiss to Eddie’s cheek. “Besides, I did take care of it, didn’t I?” Buck smiles at him, relieved when Eddie smiles back.
“Yeah, you did.”
They settle back onto the couch together, arms around each other and smiles on their faces.
Buck knows their little family of three–he, Eddie, and Chris–are going to be perfectly fine together.
-
The end.