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2012-11-15
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Say, I Tried To Give My Best Before

Summary:

Louis has a history of falling in love with his room mates. (New Girl-esque!AU where Liam moves in with Louis, Harry, and Zayn. Oh and Niall goes to Sweden.)

Work Text:

“What are your thoughts on Swedish furniture?” Harry asks, glaring intensely at who could possibly be their new roommate. He steeples his long fingers together and doesn’t let up, continuing until Liam’s squirming. He looks like he’s torn between laughing and answering the question. At the very least, it’s a better interview than the last guy - he’d just stood up, said a firm ‘fuck you’ to the three of them and left.

“They’re a bit flimsy? I prefer furniture of quality wood, y’know, stable,” Liam says, his eyebrows drawn up in uncertainty about the relevance of the question to his moving in. Louis thinks he looks like a sad orphan child and kind of wants to hug him to his bosom and keep him.

“That’s all very nice and sophisticated of you, but let’s get to the real hard-hitting questions – the questions we’re being paid the big bucks to ask,” Louis says, elbowing Harry in the side so he won’t start quizzing Liam about Swedish food. He pauses as he looks down at his printed sheet of questions – never say Louis’ didn’t prepare or take the interviewing process seriously – and says, “Liam James Payne, what are your thoughts on dear old Leo’s receding hairline?”

“Are we talking about Leonardo DiCaprio?” Liam asks. He shifts uncomfortably on the stool they’ve placed him on, gripping at the edges.

“I think we’ve found the right one,” Zayn says in a choked up manner, bringing his fist up to his mouth looking moved beyond what the question asked.

“Alright,” Harry says and shrugs carelessly. He got bored two last interviewees ago. He struggles off the couch, wedged in between Louis and the arm and gets up to start pulling at the hem of his shirt. “Can I take my kit off now?”

“Welcome to our casa which is now su casa,” Louis says, he slaps his hand down on Liam’s shoulder and frowns off into the distance, “or something like that.”

He lets go of him to shake his hand firmly. “So. Nudity. I think we should cover all legal bases because there will be a lot of that and we cannot be held accountable to the kind of trauma that might occur as a result of,” Louis waves his hand backwards at Harry casually.

“Right, well, it’s Saturday evening and I’ve got a date unlike some sorry losers. Have fun, Liam,” Zayn says and grabs his jacket. He pats Liam on the back on his way out, almost apologetic.

Liam looks after him, a little bewildered and a lot out of depth, and turns back to Louis. He opens his mouth wordlessly and Louis doesn’t even need to turn around to know Harry’s already stripped down to his boxers behind him. He feels Liam might just run away at this point which wouldn’t be fun at all. He can’t be bothered to do any more interviews and Liam’s fit and doesn’t seem like a serial killer and they can’t go another week without paying the full rent. They’ve got to eat after all and keep up their lavish bachelorhood lifestyle. Except Zayn. Zayn can go fuck himself with his fulfilling adult relationships with other people.

“Well, I still think he looks dashing,” Liam finally says and when Louis raises an eyebrow, he just says, “Leo?”

Louis grins, crinkling up the piece of paper in his hand and throwing it at Liam’s face. Liam’s fit and probably not a serial killer and has opinions on Leonardo DiCaprio’s receding hairline. Louis thinks they could definitely have done worse.

~

“Hello Liam,” Zayn says calmly and resumes brushing his teeth. He’s pointedly not looking away from Liam as he gets out of the shower and he looks very comfortable indeed to just stand there.

Liam doesn’t get far because he kind of slips on the slick tiles in shock when he sees him and has to clutch at the shower curtains for his life. He holds it to himself to make sure every part of him is covered as much as he can so he doesn’t flash Zayn. Zayn only grins in reply, foamy and shark-like, before he leans over the sink to spit.

“Morning!” Harry shouts as he runs into the bathroom.

He’s got a straight razor in his hand and Liam doesn’t even know where he got it since he doesn’t look like he needs to shave but every other week. Liam desperately wants to tell him not to run around with that because it’s dangerous – Liam got straight razor shaving lessons for his fourteenth birthday but they really don’t need to know that bit - and there are rules. He doesn’t want to be That Person though so he just stands there with the droplets of water dripping down.

Liam kind of wishes he was the only naked person in the bathroom right now but then he can’t always get what he wants either. Harry’s always naked, it’s almost like he needs to dedicate some serious time and effort to be that naked all the time.

“Good morning,” Liam replies back politely, still clutching the shower curtains to his chest. He looks to Zayn and back at Harry again, his hair plastered to his head from his morning shower, but neither of them make the move to leave.

“Oi, Zayn, can you take a picture of me real quick?” Harry asks, handing his phone over to him. He holds the razor to his throat and crosses his eyes, lolling his tongue out the side of his mouth.

Zayn does so without hesitation, leaving his toothbrush sticking out of the corner of his mouth to snap a picture. Liam thinks he could just make a mad grab for the towel next to Zayn – his towel – and make a quick get-away while they’re distracted. Liam doesn’t get to put his plan into action because the distraction doesn’t last long and he just really doesn’t want to show everyone his dick this early into their roommateship. He’s not that kind of guy.

“What’s this for?” Zayn asks, handing the phone back to rinse his mouth out.

“I’m sending Niall hourly pictures of how I’m dealing with his absence,” Harry says and grins in triumph when his phone making a whooshing sound.

And Liam’s kind of figured out who Niall is, well he’s on his way to figuring it out. He knows that he’s replaced him because he left for Sweden on exchange and Harry’s currently boycotting all Swedish products (he came into Liam’s room to make sure he didn’t have anything from Sweden and confiscated his lamp from Ikea and now he has no light and bumps into his desk every night). Harry’s not dealing with it very well. Liam thinks he may or may not be Harry’s current or ex-boyfriend – it’s all very confusing and it’d be a little bit terrifying if he wasn’t either of those things.

“Could you, uh, just pass me my towel,” Liam asks, clearing his throat when it comes out squeakier than he intended.

“Ah fuck, sorry mate, I spilt Louis’ hair thing everywhere and had to mop it up with something,” Zayn says, picking up his drenched towel and shrugging innocently.

Liam stares at him for a moment before he takes in a breath and tells himself okay. This doesn’t usually happen with his girlfriends but it’s just a towel. He can still wrap it around his waist and grab another one from his room. It’s fine.

“And this shit really stings on your dick,” Zayn continues and Liam doesn’t want to know how he even knows that.

“I woke up before 9 and washed the dishes for the first and last time this month – what is the point if no-one is going to bow down at my feet for it,” Louis complains, drying his hands on a dish towel. “How come I wasn’t invited to this?”

“I was just finishing up with my shower, if you could just pass me my towel,” Liam bravely starts but Louis takes one look at the sodden heap and says, “That’s gonna sting.”

Liam thinks, not for the first time this week, maybe he’d made a mistake moving into this loft. He’s been living with his girlfriends for the majority of time since he’d left home and he’s never done the whole roommate thing with a bunch of guys before but he’d thought this was his chance to be one of the lads.

Thankfully Zayn makes a run for it when Louis realises he’s the one who spilt his hair thing and there’s thankfully one less person in the bathroom while Liam’s naked. He still wishes he was the only naked one in the bathroom. He actually wishes he was the only one in the bathroom at the moment but then again, his life started making a lot less sense when he moved in.

“Here, just use this,” Louis says and hands him the damp dish towel. He grins at him like he’s being helpful and Liam just stares at the towel and back up at him in disbelief.

It’s tiny. It’s barely going to cover anything.

“The bastard sent me a picture of a Swedish pigeon with the caption ‘hahhahahaa look at this pigeon stealing my chipsss’,” Harry says, shoving the phone in front of both their faces so fast it’s only a blur before stomping out. Possibly to find his own pigeon and dress it up in a little union jack to show how much better they did it in England.

Liam doesn’t know when this became his life.

“So,” Louis says, bouncing on the balls of his feet expectantly.

He’s still got a streak of bubble across his cheek and his hair’s a floppy mess but he looks all welcoming and nice and Liam can’t help smiling back at him cautiously. He wraps the dish towel around his waist – as much as it’ll go – and decides to just walk out because Louis’ not leaving and he doesn’t look like he’s planning to anytime soon.

Liam steps out of the shower, running a hand through his sodden hair, and edges past Louis, keeping his back to the wall since his arse isn’t covered at all. He doesn’t look back as he starts to walk to his room and tries not to break out into an actual run – he thinks it might be a bit offensive to Louis.

He slams the doors shut behind and leans heavily up against it for a little while, keeping the dish towel clutched to himself.

He’s going to need to get used to be nude and being around nude people fast.

~

The first time Liam comes home in his nurse uniform, Louis’ jaw drops and he kind of stares at him creepily for a little while. Liam’s always busy and going to classes and things unlike the rest of them so they haven’t had all that much time to talk. Louis’ rushes forward in no time to run his hand across his shoulder at the material.

“Liam Payne, are you a kissogram?” he asks in a hushed whisper, looking up with an impressed raise of his eyebrows. He didn’t expect Liam of all people to work as a kissogram and then Louis dazes off for a little while imagining all the other uniforms he might have. Like a fire fighter.

“What? No,” Liam says, looking down at his clothes like he’s surprised. He glances up again and says, “I’m a nurse – that’s why I’m wearing a nurse’s uniform.” He looks back down at his uniform as if that wasn’t obvious enough. “Well, I’m only a student, I’m studying to be a -,”

“Oh,” Louis says in disappointment, screwing his mouth to the side and taking his hands off Liam when he realizes it’s somehow settled on his shoulder, fingertips brushing at the bare skin of his neck. Except it’s not really disappointment, he’s just trying to block out Liam saying his mum’s a nurse too because he feels like he’s going to choke from the sudden wave of fondness. “Um, I wanted to be a kissogram for a while,” he adds to the conversation and feels very proud of himself, outstanding contribution, worthy of a standing ovation, really.

Liam kind of laughs at that, still a little overwhelmed by Louis probably, but his whole face transforms and it’s suddenly hard to look at his face directly. He lifts up the plastic bag in his hand so it rustles and says, “I got Thai if you’re hungry. Where are the other boys?”

“Zayn’s at his girlfriends and Harry’s out. He might be trying to walk his way to Sweden,” Louis says. He lunges for the take out do distract himself, taking it to the living room without turning around to look at Liam.

He can hear Liam grabbing the plates from the kitchen and he tries not to find that endearing. It’s ridiculous. Who eats take out on plates when they already come in cartons? It’s a disgusting, dirty-dish making habit and Louis won’t stand for it.

Louis sets the Thai food on the coffee table, opening the containers one by one and stacking the lids to one side. By the same time Liam comes back with his stupid plates, Louis’ got the telly turned on to watch the reruns of Doctor Who.

“How’d you get so much food anyway? Last time I checked student nurses don’t get paid all that well, or at all,” Louis says, taking a plate from Liam to indulge his ridiculous antics. He’s just being nice.

“My friend works at a Thai place and she throws in an extra container or two,” Liam says. He sits down next to Louis and balances the plate on his knee, starting to shift food from each container onto his plate.

Louis’s method of eating take out is hovering over the table and picking at everything straight from the container until everyone’s covered in grease. He has to agree plates have its uses – and Liam.

“Are you whoring yourself out for Thai food? Very Secret Diary of a Call Girl,” Louis says, swirling his fork in his Pad Thai.

“It’s not even a little bit Secret Diary of a Call Girl,” Liam says with a laugh, leaning down to put some honey soy chicken on Louis’ plate.

“We’re not – she’s not my girlfriend either. I haven’t dated anyone seriously since,” he pauses like he’s just realised something himself. When Louis turns to him, he just shrugs and continues, “since Danielle, actually.”

“Bad breakup?” Louis asks, wrinkling his nose.

He’s had more than his fair share of bad break ups – especially his last which was a fucking disaster. He’d dated Greg for a long while, almost straight after he’d moved into their loft actually, and that’s probably why they should probably have picked some unhygienic arsehole than Liam. Louis has a history of falling in love with his roommates.

“You can say that,” Liam says, picking at his food. He laughs hollowly and says, “I thought I was going to marry her.”

Louis temps down on the overwhelming urge to hug Liam because they’ve got food in their laps and they still don’t know each other very well but Liam looks up and gives him a little grin, apologetic and trying too hard to be casual and Louis thinks fuck it. He dumps his food back onto the coffee table and grabs Liam’s face in both hands.

“I’ll help you to the best of my abilities to make you the best Secret Diary of a Call Girl,” Louis says as seriously as he can, trying to ignore how his heart’s doubled in speed with the way his slight stubble feels against his palm.

Liam laughs again, his eyes crinkling at the corners, his cheeks moving against Louis’ hand. “I don’t need to be – can we stop referring to whatever we’re referring to as Secret Diary of a Call Girl, I’m getting more and more confused,” Liam says.

Louis pinches his cheeks, pulling at them to distract himself and finally drops his hands back into his own lap.

“This is actually the first time I’ve been single for so long,” Liam says and Louis knew he was right when he pegged Liam as a serial monogamist.

“We’ll make it our mission to enjoy your bachelorhood as much as possible, that’s what this is, a bachelor pad,” Louis says, spreading his arms out to refer to the loft.

It’s not, actually, because Zayn has Perrie and Niall and Harry have a very weird courting system in place that seems to be working for them and Louis’ only single because he’s kind of lost hope in anything after Greg finally left. And, well, the reality is a lot more depressing than Louis would like to admit, something he’s been doing a commendable job of not doing in the past few months.

“Alright,” Liam says amiably, smiling at Louis.

Louis coughs and clears his throat suddenly. He turns back to the TV and starts to eat again, swallowing past the way his throat’s constricting and tries to focus on the goddamn Oods.

~

But it’s so easy, too easy, for Louis to look at Liam and think oh. Sometimes he comes back from jogging (actually jogging and not getting dressed in track pants and sitting in the hallway for an hour) drenched in sweat and he’s gotten used to walking out of the shower with just a towel and he has these arms. But he’s not just fucking gorgeous, he does stupid things like notice Louis’ new haircut and bring him tea just how he likes it when he’s hung over and Harry’s too fucked as well to move.

Louis had accidentally drunk Liam’s tea instead of his once and promptly spat it out all over himself. Liam hurried over in alarm to make sure he wasn’t burnt but Louis refused to let Liam touch him and said, “How could you?” in a voice that suggested Liam set a nursing home on fire.

He knows better now and makes Louis’ tea just perfect and cuddles up to him on the couch sometimes when he’s exhausted and just finished a tiring shift or come home from work at the University library. And Louis doesn’t have time for this, he really doesn’t. He’d made a promise with himself that he wasn’t going to touch any future roommates’ dick for as long as he lived. He made Harry record a video after Greg and everything. Liam wouldn’t even be interested anyway and Louis’ not in college anymore, he’s not going to chase after guys who can’t love him.

“Hey,” Liam says as he shuts the door behind him and walks into the living room. “I got the Avengers on DVD,” he says with a huge grin, waving the little plastic box around enthusiastically.

Louis doesn’t mention he already has it on his laptop because who even rents DVDs anymore and budges up so he’s not taking up most of the couch. He clears the books off and shoves them onto the coffee table, hoisting his laptop into his lap.

They went to watch it together when it came out in the cinemas. All four of them and it was one of the few times Louis’ been out in a while but it’d been fun. Harry texted Niall spoilers because he’s an arse and Liam sat beside Louis and let him clutch at his arms a lot during the scene with Iron Man. Louis’ mostly torn between shaking Liam until he disappears and putting his face on his face.

“I thought you had a date tonight,” Louis says, scratching at his nose in a practised, casual gesture when Liam comes back in his pyjamas. Louis pushes his glasses when they slip over the bridge of his nose, looking up from his laptop.

“Fell through,” Liam says and stretches his arms out, his shirt lifting up distractingly.

Louis shuts his laptop, giving up on finishing up the essay he’s already got an extension for.

Liam grabs a bowl and a bag of crisps from the kitchen and reappears. He doesn’t look all that upset about his date falling through though, more excited about watching the Avengers again. Louis figures it’s his coping mechanism and pats his shoulder, his hand sliding over the back of his neck against the warm skin and soft hair without his permission. It’s for comfort – in case he’s distraught underneath his casual exterior.

Liam puts the DVD into in and settles back against Louis so their shoulders, arms and thighs are touching even if he has all that room on the other side of the couch.

“You look nice,” Liam says suddenly, tilting his head towards him and smiling innocently – as if that’s just a completely normal thing to say. Louis’ stomach drops at that because of course not, it’s not like he meant it in any other way.

Still, Louis glances down at his worn, threadbare t-shirt that’s fraying at the edges and pyjama bottoms and looks back up at Liam incredulously. He hasn’t changed in two days and there’s a weird stain he can’t get out near the collar and his Harry’s beanie’s barely doing its job of keeping his greasy hair out of view.

“Is this doing something for you? Clothes of the homeless variety? You sick pervert,” Louis says after a beat that stretches on for too long. He reaches over to pinch Liam’s nipple to convince himself he’s acting like a prat over nothing.

“No, like – I meant your glasses. They look nice,” Liam says laughing, capturing Louis’ wrist in his hands. Louis pulls his hand out of his grip after a moment, paranoid Liam can feel the way his pulse is beating underneath the thin skin at his wrist, and turns back to the telly.

He’s vaguely aware he’s maybe kind of blushing and his definitely got that fluttery feeling under his breastbone like he’s thirteen again and James told him he was a decent football player. He ignores the urge to look at himself in the mirror or touch his frames, to work out what’s so nice about them anyway and noisily crunches on a handful of crisps instead.

“Thanks,” Louis says after the opening credits finish.

Liam just turns his head for a millisecond to flash him another heartbreaking smile before turning his attention back to the movie. The door slams shut and Louis jumps, didn’t even hear anyone key it open, and tries not to glare at Zayn for doing nothing at all.

“Is that the Avengers? Did you rent it?” Zayn asks, huffing out a laugh in disbelief. He still spills over into the couch, almost on top of Liam before he moves closer to Louis to have Zayn fit.

Louis kind of wants to write a long and dramatic journal entry about unfair his life is and have Harry read it back to him.

~

Just when Liam thinks he’s more or less adjusted living with three guys by now, something happens to make him regress.

Living with Danielle didn’t usually involve coming home to find another girl topless on the couch.

“Oh god,” Perrie squeaks and rolls under Zayn, pulling him on top of her. She doesn’t sound all that embarrassed, more exasperated like its Liam’s fault for interrupting them.

“Oh god,” Liam mirrors, shutting his eyes straight away. He feels heat flood his face and tries to find his way to his bedroom without opening his eyes. “I’m sorry, I swear I didn’t see anything – Perrie, I.”

“Jesus, Liam, just get out of here,” Zayn groans and Liam still hasn’t opened his eyes but he has a terrible feeling they’ve gone right back to where they were before he’d walked in. They’re in the living room – where anyone but especially Liam could walk in on them - when Zayn has his own goddamn room four steps away.

“We’re out of toilet papers, somebody needs to go shopping,” Louis says loudly, his door banging shut behind him. Liam focuses on the sound of that and tries to find Louis without opening his eyes.

His eyes are still squeezed so damn shut he’s worried he’s never going to open them again. He bangs his knee against the corner of something in his hurry to reach Louis and it shoots pain right down his shin. He forgets about it entirely because in the next moment, his whole body slams into Louis.

“Ow!” Louis says and Liam’s eyes fly open in time to catch him before he goes toppling backwards.

“Oh no, crap, I’m so sorry,” Liam says, watching with worried eyes at the way Louis’ clutching at his mouth. He grabs his wrist to try and pull his hand away to see the damage but Louis’ kind of curled in on himself and Liam feels fucking awful.

“Shit, fucking ow,” Louis whines and finally drops his hand, bright red blooming on his lower lip.

“Fuck, Louis are you alright?” Liam asks in panic, letting go of his wrists to tilt his head up so he can get good look at it. He holds his jaw carefully in his hands, his thumb brushing at his lower lip gently to wipe away the blood and see what he’s done. He must’ve slammed into Liam jaw or collarbone or something, Liam can hardly feel a thing though since he’s too busy worrying over the swell of Louis’ lip.

“No, it’s – I was biting my lip and I should’ve looked where I was going but Niall and Harry are having some sort of Instagram war,” Louis says in a hurry, trying to pull away from Liam.

Liam doesn’t let go because he made Louis bleed and he needs to make sure he’s not in pain or anything at the very least.

“I’ll get you some ice,” Liam says at the same time Zayn says, “OI!”

Louis and Liam both almost snap their necks to stare at them. They had almost forgotten Zayn and Perrie had been almost naked and on top of each other. Perrie’s lounging on the couch in her bra now, looking unimpressed with the lot of them.

“You’re the one making out with your girlfriend in the living room when you have your own room,” Louis points out, raising an eyebrow.

“We were here first,” Zayn insists and Liam desperately wants to tell him his hand creeping up Perrie’s thigh is not subtle at all.

“I need to grab toilet paper anyway,” Louis says and backs away from Liam in a hurry, his lip already starting to swell. He swipes at the rest of the blood with his tongue, wincing slightly and flaps his hand at Liam when he starts to worry again.

“I’ll come with you,” Liam says, intending to pay for everything and let Louis get that expensive ice-cream he always wants. “Let me just put my books away.”

He hurries off into his room to drop off his books and misses most of Louis’ half-hearted protest. He can vaguely hear Perrie and Zayn speaking over each other from his room but when he makes it back, the room falls eerily silent and Zayn’s staring intently at Louis. Perrie’s looking at the both of them, big blue eyes swinging back and forth.

“Shall we go?” Liam asks, looking at all three of them innocently.

Louis doesn’t say anything for a moment. He exhales loudly and bends over to grab his phone from where he’d dropped it crashing into Liam. He smiles at Liam but it’s strained and he stops when it pulls at his lip and starts to bleed again.

“Actually, I’ve, uh, got to do something,” he says and looks at Perrie who stops nodding as soon as Liam turns to look at her to. “University! I go to one and I’m sure I have things to do– university things,” Louis says and almost trips over his own feet as he backs out of the apartment. He slams the door behind him before Liam can adjust to the change in the atmosphere.

“Can you get the cereal Harry likes? He’s pining away and especially whingey in the mornings,” Zayn says from the couch, Perrie already climbing on top of him again.

“Alright,” Liam says, still trying to wrap his head around what just happened. “Is Louis okay?” he asks but gives up because they’re both too occupied to reply.

Honestly, Zayn’s room is like thirty seconds away.

He shuts the door behind him but not before he hears Zayn moaning loudly which is something that he never wants to hear again.

Liam buys the good ice-cream Louis likes so it might as well help with the swelling and pointedly tells all the other boys not eat it. Harry looks at him suspiciously and Liam’s sure it’s going to be half gone by the next day but he still writes ‘SORRYYYYY L’ on the cover with a sharpie and closes the fridge.

~

Louis never gets sick but when he does it usually gets bad. He ignores how poorly he’s feeling until he goes to sleep and can’t seem to get out of bed the next day. He was sure drinking a fuckload of tea and taking it easy for a day would make it go away but his head feels five times too small for his skull. He sniffles miserably and gives up on doing anything today.

Harry comes in to bring him tea and cuddle him but he has the worst immune system Louis has ever seen and would probably catch a cold if a baby sneezed fifty metres away from him. He shoos Harry away after a little while for his own safety. He’s reluctant to leave but Zayn shuffles in with more tea and leaves it by his bedside. He’s DJ-ing at the new club in town tonight so he really can’t get sick so Louis tells him to go away too.

Louis wants his mum. He does call her up, feeling all of 21, and relaxes back into the pillows when her familiar accent flows through the phone. It’s comforting even if she’s not here and he’s starting to feel drowsy, still stuffy and ache-y but better already. There’s a sudden knocking at his door and Louis calls out, “What?” in a hoarse, scratchy voice.

The door swings open and Liam’s standing there with some kind of kit in his hand, looking very unimpressed with Louis. Louis feels defensive, wants to point out he’s sick and he probably hadn’t meant to do whatever he did to make Liam look at him like that. His mum’s still speaking so Louis only looks at Liam, trying not to look as pathetic as he feels.

Liam’s face softens immediately and he walks into his room, ignoring Louis’ feeble protests that he’s going to catch whatever Louis seems to have caught.

“Harry said you were sick but he didn’t say you were this sick. Louis – did you forget I’m a nurse?” Liam says, sitting down on his bed. He notices the phone and instantly shuts his mouth, making an apologetic face and Louis giggles deliriously, waving his hand around to say that it’s okay.

“Do you want me to go?” Liam mouths at him but he’s already reaching forward, his palm against Louis’ forehead. He takes a thermometer out of his kit and pushes it between Louis’ lips, his hands cool and soothing on his feverish skin.

“No,” Louis says and tries not to feel like he’s letting himself down. If his body’s betrayed him and is probably trying to kill him, he’s going to indulge himself for a little while. He can hear his mum tittering on the line, asking if it’s the boy Louis’ been talking about and Louis distantly hopes Liam can’t hear him.

“Mum, you can’t talk to Liam,” Louis says around the thermometer and realises he’s said that out loud when Liam’s mouth quirks up in amusement.

He takes the thermometer from Louis and looks at it. He frowns slightly but looks slightly appeased, looking up at Liam with a twist of his mouth like he’s personally offended Louis got sick on him. Louis can’t seem to make himself look away. He can’t move his head, his going to blame that.

“You should sleep and I’ll get you some soup when you wake up,” Liam says and gently takes the phone from where Louis’ dropped it on the pillow, the strength draining out of him. “And that’s my professional opinion.”

“You’re a student nurse,” Louis says huffily but lets Liam pull the blankets around him more firmly when he shivers. He can’t find it in himself to protest.

He feels the bed dip besides him and Liam crawls up to lay down beside him. He shuffles around momentarily to get them both comfortable and puts an arm around Louis. Louis’ head lolls against his shoulder and he’s exhausted enough not to give a shit. His body heat’s bleeding through the soft material of his shirt Liam’s talking softly to his mum on the phone’s starting to lull him to sleep. He vaguely thinks Liam talking to his mum should be alarming but sleep’s dragging him down too fast for him to do anything about it.

He jerks awake again when Liam leans over him to put the phone on the bedside table.

“Sorry,” Liam says and Louis only shivers, suddenly cold. “Do you want me to stay?” Liam asks and Louis nods before he can stop himself. Liam lifts the covers and gets underneath, manoeuvring them around so Louis’ backs tucked against his front. Louis would weep if he could spare the moisture.

“Do you mind?” Louis asks, his eyes already slipping shut. “You’re going to get sick too.”

“Of course not,” Liam says, his arms tightening around Louis’ waist. “And I never get sick, not anymore,” Liam says and Louis can feel the puffs of breath against the back of his neck and the tip of Liam’s nose at the soft hair at the nape of his neck.

Liam keeps talking in a low voice, telling Louis’ about his body when he was a child and splaying his hand flat over Louis’ belly and circling gently like Louis’ mum used to when he was little. Louis’ thinks that he’s going to do something horrible to his mum for spilling all his secrets to Liam just as soon as he can stand being vertically upright again and it stops feeling so good.

“Your mum seems lovely. Learnt a lot more about you,” Liam says and giggles against Louis’ neck, his arms tightening around Louis momentarily. “Go to sleep, boo bear,” Liam teases and Louis tries to elbow him. Louis’ so warm and comfortable, ignoring the ache in his head and the way it feels like he won’t ever breathe through his nose ever again, he can’t even work up the right amount of indignant rage at the abuse of his childhood nick name.

“Shut up,” Louis says weakly, eyes drooping shut already at the way Liam’s palm is dragging over his t-shirt.

He’s going to bloody disown his mum.

~

Harry’s baking Niall’s favourite pastry dish and Louis’ doing his part in helping so he gets a piece when he’s done passive aggressively taking a photo of it and sending it to him. Helping out for Louis usually means turning the radio up and spinning Harry around the kitchen until they’re covered from head to toe in flour and making a spectacular mess for no good reason at all.

They’re both truly shit at dancing so they’re only just holding hands and swaying, trying to spin each other and giggling like school children and not dignified university students. They don’t hear the door open over the radio and when Louis spins Harry around again, Liam’s standing in the kitchen doorway with a fond smile on his face.

Harry keeps spinning until he’s at the oven, checking on the food. Louis saunters forward towards Liam, still dancing ridiculously to the upbeat pop song on the radio. He grabs Liam’s hand, pulling him into the kitchen. Liam laughs along, his hand coming up to rest on Louis’ waist like a gentleman. He pulls Louis’ close so he gets flour all over his clothes as well and waltzes – properly waltzes – Louis around the small kitchen area with a smile. Harry hoists himself up onto the counter and throws flour at them both.

The song ends and they stop in the middle of the kitchen, pressed up against each other, hands clasped with Liam’s arm around his waist. Louis’ holds his breath, his eyes flicking down to the lovely swell of Liam’s bottom lip. He brushes his powdery finger against Liam’s nose so he won’t do anything he’ll regret. It works and Liam laughs again, letting go of him. Louis’ known Liam’s gorgeous – anyone with two fucking eyes knows Liam’s gorgeous – but his smile is so much better up close and Louis just really wants to feel it against his lips.

Liam steps back abruptly and does a stupid little bow. “I’ve got to get ready for my date with Mariana,” he says, still laughing as he rubs at his nose and steps out of the kitchen.

It feels like the air’s been punched out of him.

“What was with that sexual tension,” Harry asks, shuffling up behind him to wrap his arms around him. He rests his chin on Louis’ shoulder because Harry always knows what to do best. “Did you want to put flour on his penis and lick it off or what?”

“I don’t know what kind of sex you’ve been having but that’s really weird,” Louis says, tilting his head to rest against Harry’s.

“Lou,” Harry starts, his tone telling Louis exactly what he’s about to say.

“I know,” Louis says, sighing deeply. He stays like that for a little while before going to check on the oven like he knows what he’s doing. Harry only shoves him out of the way but Louis’ thankful for everything he’s not saying anyway.

Liam leaves in a dark grey button-down shirt and his nice jeans and Louis eats the whole tray of cupcakes and falls into a food induced coma shortly after.

~

Liam comes home after work and is surprised to find living with three guys can still shock him speechless. He opens his mouth uselessly, his hand clenching and unclenching around his keys, unable to think of anything to say. Because, well, because Perrie’s applying bright red lipstick to Louis’ lips and they’re both making weird smacking noises.

"Uh, what's happening," Liam asks helplessly. He thought he was getting the hang of the lads living together thing. Nobody told him it included this too.

"He's got nice lips, don't you think?" Perrie asks, cleaning up the lines with the tip of her index finger. Louis turns his head, unashamed as always, and hollows his cheeks out and Liam desperately wants to point out he doesn't have to that – he has great cheekbones anyway. But his brains already kind of fried itself at the way the rouge is staining Louis’ lips.

"How do I look?" Louis demands, smacking his lips together and blowing a kiss at Liam.

"Why are you wearing lipstick?" Liam says to stall for time, eyes drawn to the brightness of Louis' lips.

"I can't remember why," Louis says and turns to Perrie. She shrugs, completely useless - Liam caves guiltily almost immediately and thinks no, she's pretty great - and puts the lipstick away. He doesn’t know why he wants to keep it so much.

"I'm sure I had a good reason at the time," Perrie says and stretches out on the sofa. She's wearing one of Zayn's t-shirts and oversized track pants rolled up fifty times around her hips.

Liam had been too busy trying to figure out if those track pants are actually his to realise Louis has been edging forward the whole time. His head snaps to the side in time to catch the look of glee on Louis’ face before he pounces. He throws his arms around Liam’s neck and tries to land a smacking kiss to his cheek. Liam will deny every shrieking, no matter how much Perrie laughs about it later, but he can’t deny his cries for help.

Perrie just ignores him as Louis tries to shove Louis’ face away, laughing so hard his sides are already aching. He finally frees himself from Louis’ grip and struggles to his feet to run away but he only gets a few feet before Louis, intent on sharing his new lipstick, tackles him back to the ground. He leaves bright red stains against his jawline and neck and Liam tries again, “He’s biting my face, Perrie!”

She cackles and moves to get a better angle of them, her phone in her hand. By the end, they’re both breathless and teary from laughter, lying on the kitchen tiles with heaving chests.

"If that wasn't the manliest play fighting I've ever seen," Perrie says, crossing her arms and looming over them in amusement.

Liam reaches over to pinch Louis’ nipple and he yelps in surprise, staring at Liam in delight. Liam rolls away and tries to snatch the phone from Perrie’s hand. He’s pretty sure there’s a lengthy segment where Louis had tried to keep him from getting off the ground and hung on to the waistband of his jeans for dear life and he doesn’t need everyone to see his arse crack. And if he sends the video to himself before he deletes it off Perrie’s phone, no-one’s none the wiser.

~

Louis doesn’t mind having to baby sit his sisters every now and then. He misses them enough as it is and seeing them always makes him happy. His mum’s having some kind of hen’s night for one of his aunt’s at their house – which is equal parts disturbing and disturbing – and Louis’ looking forward to looking after the twins for the night. Everything’s going fine until Liam shows up early from his third date with Mariana and Daisy claps her hands to her mouth.

“He’s so handsome, he’s like a prince,” she squeals, jumping up and down on Louis’ ribs. Louis doesn’t say a bitter I know but just tackles her into the couch and tickles her until she cries truce.

Liam reappears in his pyjamas, smiling shyly at the girls.

“Sorry about the noise,” Louis says, clapping his hand over her mouth. “I forgot to tell you they’re staying for the night,” he says, pulling an apologetic face. The other boys are usually alright with it but they’re both out at the moment. He forgot Liam might have things to do without six year olds running around screaming at the top of their lungs.

“It’s fine,” Liam says waving his hand at them. He settles in the armchair and waves awkwardly at them, smiling when Phoebe starts giggling. “Hi, I’m Liam.”

The girls get over their shyness easily enough and crowd over to Liam, Phoebe settling at his feet and Daisy climbing onto the armchair to play with his hair. Louis would feel offended that his sisters seem to like Liam more if the way they were behaving wasn’t making it difficult to talk. Phoebe’s holding his hand, examining his nails carefully and declaring he needs some glitz and glamour.

“Can we please paint your nails, Liam, can we please?” Phoebe asks, tugging at his fingers.

Daisy climbs down from where she’s been attempting to braid Liam’s hair and pouts as well. “Pretty please?” she asks, making her blue eyes huge and sad. Louis doesn’t even fall for that anymore (he does).

“Nah, c’mon, you can paint my nails,” Louis says, grabbing Phoebe by the middle and hauling her up. She kicks her feet out, shrieking as Louis hauls her over his shoulder.

“No, you’re boring. We want to paint Liam,” Daisy says, clambering to her feet and poking Louis in the stomach.

“Ow, you little rascal – you’re paying for that,” he says and puts Phoebe down to reach for Daisy.

“What colours are we talking here?” Liam asks through his laughter and Phoebe’s already running out of the living room to grab her bag.

“Liam – you don’t have to,” Louis says, pretending to drop Daisy to get her to shriek and clutch at his shoulders.

“I want to,” Liam reassures Louis and settles on the ground, waiting patiently for Phoebe to come back.

“You have three choices; Princess Sparkle, Unicorn Shine and red,” Phoebe says, setting the little bottles down on the coffee table. She sits back on the balls of her feet, clasping her hands in her lap and looking at him expectantly.

Liam looks at his choices just as seriously, frowning in concentration. He brings his nails up to the colours and screws his mouth to the side, hesitating at the shiny pearl before choosing the sparkly pink one.

“Yay!” Daisy says and unscrews the cap, pulling Liam’s hand into her lap.

Louis wishes Liam was horrible and hated kids and refused to do this because his heart’s banging painfully against his chest and he feels like suffocating himself into the cushion.

After they paint his nails, Louis gets ready for Liam to disappear off into his room but the girls want to play hide and seek and he seems so genuinely enthused by the idea Louis says “Why not?” and let’s Phoebe begin the game.

When it’s Liam’s turn, he keeps his eyes shut until he counts all the way down to zero. He doesn’t open them once, not even to share a glance with Louis, until he’s done. He smiles at the obvious lumps underneath Harry’s snuggie under the couch, even when they shout out, “We’re ready!” He makes sure to walk around the house, making a rucks and opening cupboards.

"Where did they go, Lou?" Liam asks incredulously, his arms spread open in disbelief.

Louis kind of wishes he’d be just a bit put-upon or not as openly enthusiastic about playing hide and seek with six year olds.

"I don't know but this couch looks awfully comfy," Louis says and gets up to jump on the girls. He does it so he won’t actually hurt them but he has to look away from Liam.

The girls shriek underneath him and Daisy pops her head out from the snuggie to yell, "Get your big fat bum off. You're squashing us!"

Liam shouts, "Aha!" he actually shouts aha and says, "Found you!"

The girls shriek with laughter again and makes Liam hide next. When Louis gets up to text Harry about his mini mental breakdown, Liam shouts earnestly, “Lou, you’re walking on lava!” along with the girls and Louis has to clutch at the kitchen counter for a little while and try to remember how to act like human being before Liam fucking Payne happened.

They finally put Tangled on so the girls will fall asleep and somehow all end up squashed together on the couch with the girls in between them. Louis’ got Daisy tucked into his arm, his hand on Phoebe’s head and when he sneaks a glance at Liam, he’s grossly invested in what’s happening to Rapunzel. Phoebe yelps when he almost squeezes her hand off during Flynn Ryder’s escape.

“What was that?” Phoebe asks suddenly, her head popping up over the back of the couch like a meerkat.

Louis heard it too but he’s not too worried, their loft makes weird sounds all the time. He just shrugs and pushes her head back down to focus on the movie but she refuses, her head whipping back when the noise reoccurs.

“I’ll go check on what it is,” Liam offers and Louis wants to tell him he doesn’t have to do this – really, he could stop any time and make things a lot easier for Louis.

But Phoebe and Daisy both nod vehemently. Phoebe climbs onto Liam’s back to provide support in case he gets scared and they both disappear down the hallway down to where their bedrooms are. Phoebe chattering away about how good she is at karate fades away and Louis turns back to the movie.

“Do you like Liam, Lou?” Daisy says in a hushed whisper, reaching up to cup her hands around his ear.

Louis looks down at her in surprise, feeling his belly flop even though it’s only his baby sister. He tries for nonchalant and says, “Yeah, of course! Don’t you?”

No,” she says, reaching down to pinch his belly. “Do you like-like him?” she says, keeping her voice soft in case Liam comes back.

Louis finds no point in lying since she’s going to know anyway and just leans his cheek against her soft hair. “Yeah, I do. Don’t think he really like-likes me though,” he mumbles and Daisy draws away from him to give him a shocked expression as if she can’t believe why not.

Liam and Phoebe almost run back into the living room and Liam’s shaking his head as he drops Phoebe back onto the sofa.

“Zayn’s home. Did you know Zayn’s home? Zayn’s home with Perrie,” Liam says, his eyes huge and mortified. Phoebe’s oblivious and just turns back to the movie, elbowing Daisy so she’d shove up again.

Daisy’s a lot colder towards Liam afterwards and she tries to keep up her indignant rage at him but she falls asleep against Louis’ shoulder almost immediately. They both fall asleep after a while and Liam shuffles around quietly, turning the telly off and almost tripping over the coffee table when he turns the lamps off too.

“Where are they sleeping?” Liam asks, holding Daisy carefully so as not to wake her up.

Louis picks Phoebe up and she kind of hits him in the face with a loosely curled fist but he ignores it to say, “My room.”

They both tiptoe to Louis’ room and then gently place the girls on the bed. Liam whispers a good-night to the girls and starts to back out of the room. Louis tucks his duvet around the both of them like he used to at home and kisses them both on the forehead, smoothing their hair back and making sure they’re warm enough.

When he turns back around, Liam’s standing in the doorway with his arms crossed and he can barely make out the soft smile on his face through the darkness but it makes Louis’ heart lurch ridiculously. Liam waits until Louis closes the door behind him before saying, “Where are you sleeping then?”

“The couch’s fine. Or I’ll just kip with Harry until he comes home and one of us falls off the bed,” Louis says, starting to pick up the popcorn bowl and the cups strewn about the place.

“Or you could just sleep with me – I mean, in my bed, I’ve got the biggest after all,” Liam says, helping Louis clean up after the girls. He hands him the nail polish with a quietly sincere grin and Louis says, “Alright,” before he realises what he’s done.

“Just go ahead, I need to take a shower,” Liam whispers in the dark, his hand brushing over Louis as he puts the dishes in the sink.

Louis finishes putting everything away and slowly makes his way to Liam’s room. He checks in on the girls while he’s moving down the hallway and he’s stalling for time if he’s being honest. He’s been in his pyjamas all day and doesn’t really need anything else. He shuts the door quietly behind him and tiptoes further down the hallway.

Liam’s room’s clean and organized but his bed looks huge and inviting. Louis stands there awkwardly for a moment before thinking fuck I’m being ridiculous and lunging for the bed. He’s pretty sure he’s ruined all the carefully lined edges of his duvet and sheets but he just burrows underneath the covers and closes his eyes, determined to fall asleep before Liam gets in.

He doesn’t quiet manage it though, he can smell Liam everywhere and he can’t stop burrowing his face in his pillow. It’s worse when Liam returns from his shower because he smells like that body wash Louis’ taken to liking and he’s still slightly damp when he climbs into bed behind Louis. He settles in quickly, brushing up against Louis’ back and Louis bites down on his lips and keeps his eyes firmly shut. It’s not long before Liam’s breathing settles into a deep rhythm and he stops shifting around at all.

Louis turns around carefully and tells himself he’s going to go to sleep now. But when he settles down and opens his eyes, Liam’s a lot closer than he thought - almost nose to nose. It’s completely unfair how he manages to look like that while he’s sleeping and Louis would brain himself on the pillow at his own sappiness if he could.

He thinks first and last time and runs his thumb gently down the bridge of his nose. He brushes his fingers over his jawline and his chin and finally rests his thumb against the dip of his lower lip. He drops his hand back to his side and says, “Why are you doing to me?” into the dark. He sighs heavily and closes his eyes to try and fall asleep.

It’s so warm and comfortable that Louis doesn’t want to wake up at all. He ignores the insistent tug at the back of his mind telling him he should get the fuck up and just nuzzles his face against soft skin. That’s when it his sleep-addled brain gets a rude wake-up call and his eyes snap open in horror.

They’re completely wrapped up around each other, Louis’ leg slotted between Liam’s, his face mashed into Liam’s neck where his skin’s all soft and heated from sleep. Liam has his arms around Louis, keeping him close and touching and trapping the heat beneath the blankets.

Louis’ tempted to fall back asleep for a millisecond before he shakes himself out of it. He clears his throat and says in a small, hoarse, unused voice, “Liam?”

Louis splays his hand flat at the small of Liam’s back and digs his fingernails in a little, just to wake him up of course. It takes another couple of moments for Liam to wake up and when he does, he glances down at Louis and suddenly smiles like he could possibly be the best thing to ever wake up to. Louis pushes insistently at his chest until he can roll away and hops up out of bed.

“Sorry, force of habit,” Liam says sleepily, his hair all messed up. He scrubs at his face and Louis takes the chance to escape.

“I gotta make breakfast for the girls but thanks for – thanks,” Louis says in a hurry and shuts the door behind him. He leans back against it, running his hand through his hair and breathing too hard for the few steps he’d taken.

As he gets closer to the kitchen, he can smell food and hear general chatter. He rubs at his eyes to see Harry’s already made pancakes for the girls and he’s wearing clothes which is all very well and good.

“You’re late,” Phoebe says, shaking her head in mock disappointment. “Hazza made us breakfast,” she says with a toothy grin.

“He’s better-er than you at cooking,” Daisy says, nodding solemnly as Harry reaches over the table to high-five her.

“I need pancakes,” Louis says as he slides into a seat next to Harry.

“You alright?” Harry asks, handing him a plate of pancakes. “You weren’t in bed when I came in last night, did you,” Harry stops when he sees the look on Louis’ face. “Oh,” he says instead and wraps his arms around Louis in an octopus-fashion.

“Yeah,” Louis just says miserably and pokes at his food with his fork.

~

Louis says goodbye inside the coffee shop and quickly chases after the girl from his lecture. He needs notes for the ones he’s missed and he doesn’t really have any else to ask but her. Her name is probably Hannah, Louis can’t be too sure. He thinks he can needle it out of her for free if he’s being charming enough.

Louis doesn’t see Liam leave the coffee shop but he comes up behind him, brushing past to get to class. His fingers linger on the small of Louis’ back for just a moment as he walks past and Louis’ brain fizzles to a stop and he loses his train of thought until he’s left smiling stupidly after Liam. Hannah pointedly coughs and snaps her fingers in front of his face.

“Sorry,” he says quickly, trying to shake off the warmth spreading all over his body. “As I was saying, we could have something really special, y’know?”

~

“Do you miss Niall? I miss Niall,” Harry grumbles, turning his head against Louis’ belly so he’ll be able to hide.

Louis snorts, yanking on the curls at the back of his head because it tickles. Harry only tries to bite him through his t-shirt and Louis needs to start running his fingers through his hair for him to turn all pliant into the sofa and forget his mission.

“Niall used to stroke my hair,” Harry mumbles into Louis’ belly and Louis would tease him but he sounds genuinely upset and he can’t seem to even unearth himself.

“Have you told him you missed him?” Louis asks.

“He’s having the time of his life in Sweden. He keeps sending me pictures of himself with tall blonde people and Swedish food and he’s busy having fun to worry about me,” Harry says in a sad little voice and so Louis bends over so his back’s almost snapping in two and lands a smacking kiss to his ear.

“Cheer up, love! You’ve been going out with Nick like every night,” Louis says as Harry giggles, batting at him helplessly.

“He got sick of me talking about Niall, I think,” Harry says, rolling back on Louis’ lap so he can dimple up at him.

No,” Louis says in a hushed whisper and Harry just shoves him again, laughing a breathless, “Twat.”

“You should go out. You haven’t been out with us in ages,” Harry says and scrambles up into a sitting position besides Louis when he starts shaking his head. “No, really, after Greg-.”

“I don’t feel like it,” Louis says, leaning his head down against Harry’s shoulder, his turn to hide.

Harry isn’t as indulging as Louis though and pulls back with a huff, gripping his shoulders so he has no choice but to stare back at Harry.

“C’mon, it’ll be fun! We don’t have to go to like a club or anything, just dinner with our mates, yeah? You should have some fun,” Harry coaxes, looking up at Louis through his eyelashes.

There’s a rattle of keys and the door slamming shut before Liam’s standing in the living room, smiling at the both of them. He’s got a handful of books as always, a coffee in his hand. Liam doesn’t drink coffee and Louis’ about to point it out but he hands it over to Louis with an apologetic shrug at Harry.

“Sorry, mate, I didn’t know you’d be home,” he says. “I’ve got like half a muffin if you want it,” he says and pulls a sodden mess out of his pockets.

“Why are you carrying around half-eaten muffins?” Louis asks, taking a sip of his coffee and trying not to grin stupidly at how Liam’s remembered his ridiculously difficult order. “Why’d you bring me coffee?” he asks, just to be an arse.

“Niall used to carry around half-eaten muffins,” Harry says with a sigh and flops back against Louis, almost upsetting his coffee.

“Niall’s your Not Boyfriend, yeah?” Liam reaffirms, just one more time. Louis hides his smile behind his cup of coffee and Harry ignores him.

“Lou, it’ll be just the four of us – Liam, you’re coming right?” Harry asks, looking up from his sprawled position against Louis.

“Of course,” Liam says and after a beat asks, “where are we going?”

“To dinner because Louis needs a date and since he refuses to get one, he’s going to get three,” Harry says and sits up to grab Louis’ face and kiss his nose noisily.

“I have been out,” Louis says defensively as Harry disappears off into his room to Skype with Niall.

It’s a blatant lie since he hasn’t really been doing anything since Greg left but Liam doesn’t need to know that. Liam settles down next to Louis, taking up Harry’s position and relaxing next to Louis like it’s second nature. Louis turns to him, trying to find something about him that annoys him enough to drive him crazy so he could maybe work on not liking him so much. Liam tilts his head to the side and smiles at Louis.

Louis gives up.

~

“Where are you guys?” Louis whisper-shouts into the phone, trying to look as casual as possible even if he feels like he’s been transplanted in some alternate universe where everyone wears proper leather shoes and get up before 6am. “This place is posh as fuck, Harry.”

“Sorry mate but we’ve got shit to do,” Zayn says and Louis swears he hears Harry giggling away madly in the background. “Harry and I’ve got, like, studying?” Zayn giggles this time around and Louis hears something fall in the background. He’s ready to bet his life savings Harry’s fallen off the couch.

“I hate you,” Louis says flatly as Zayn and Harry both smack kisses through the phone and hang up.

Louis gets up, wincing as his chair scrapes loudly against the floor and is about to make an escape when Liam walks in the door. He spots Louis almost immediately and raises a hand in greeting. He looks really nice in his blue sweater and his hair’s all done up like Louis’ seen it whenever he goes out on a date.

“The lads bailed,” Louis says in greeting, his hands shoved in the back pockets of his trousers since he doesn’t know what else he’s supposed to do with them.

“Oh,” Liam says and his face falls. He takes a look at the table set up for the four of them and shrugs, “Might as well stay, right?”

“Really?” Louis asks before he can stop himself. Liam smiles at him as if he’s said something particularly funny, his eyes crinkling up and everything and reaches for a chair and to pull it out for Louis.

“After you,” he says and he’s teasing and Louis wants to crawl under the table and stay there. He sits down instead and watches Liam get into the seat opposite him.

“Is that my shirt?” Louis asks, squinting at the collar poking out of the neckline of Liam’s sweater.

“Yeah, sorry, I didn’t think you’d mind. I didn’t want to wear just what I usually wear out on dates,” Liam says, pulling at it self-consciously.

“No, it’s fine,” Louis says and props his menu up so Liam won’t see the tragic battle he’s losing with his face. “It looks better on you.”

~

The dinner goes great after Louis stops freaking out about whether it’s a date or not. He didn’t question it would, Liam’s funny and charming and heartbreakingly earnest and Louis’ so in love with him he feels like he’s going to spontaneously combust any second.

~

After dinner, Liam wants ice-cream so they go to the supermarket since their wallets are drained dry from the place Harry picked. They sit outside in the parking lot trying to scoop ice-cream with plastic spoons into dry little cones. Liam’s already broken three spoons, a fate he believes they deserve, but Louis finally took control – having much more experience of spooning ice-cream into cones what with his sisters and all – and hands Liam his strawberry ice-cream cone.

“Can’t believe you only eat the strawberry flavour, I am appalled,” Louis says, pulling a disgusted face.

They just got a cheap napoleon pack and it’s currently resting between them with bits of broken plastic sticking out of it but Liam doesn’t think anything’s tasted so good. He grins down at his feet so he won’t stare to blatantly at how shiny Louis’ lips are getting.

“You’re just a chocolate man, then?” Liam asks, his eyes flicking back up in time to catch how Louis’ tongue flicks out against the tip of the cone.

“Nah, I like all ice-cream flavours. My sisters never used to be able to finish theirs so I just ate them all,” Louis says and looks sadly down at his belly, shaking his head.

Liam does a good job of not mentioning how much he likes Louis’ belly but he can’t keep himself from the sappy smile spreading on his face, Louis’ just so great. And he loves his sisters and he’s fiercely loyal and lovely and unreservedly affectionate. Liam thinks that Louis’ the best thing that he’s ever had the pleasure of knowing.

“Do I have something on my face?” Louis asks, running his tongue against the corner of his mouth and crossing his eyes.

He looks ridiculous but Liam only leans forward and hovers his thumb across the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, hold still,” he says and Louis does, surprisingly enough.

Liam lets the moment stretch out for a little while longer before he pushes his ice-cream cone into Louis’ face. He starts laughing at the look on Louis’ face, taken by surprise and speechless – Liam didn’t think it was possible.

“You child,” Louis crows, his eyes crinkling in the corners as he starts to laugh. He wipes at his face with the back of his hand and reaches forward to rub the cold mess on Liam’s face instead. “I can’t believe you did that,” he says and he’s looking at Liam in wonder.

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist,” Liam says, pulling his sleeve over his hand so he can get the rest of it off Louis’ face.

Louis waits until he’s close enough to smash the handful of ice-cream into Liam’s face. Liam splutters, caught off-guard since he didn’t even see his hand creeping near the ice-cream and starts to laugh again.

“I think you got some in my nose,” Liam says, sticking his tongue out to try and get it.

Louis’ still laughing as he reaches for Liam’s face, tilting his head up to look at his nose. He’s getting ice-cream all over Liam’s face but it only make him laugh harder, slipping on the pavement and Liam grabs his wrists so he doesn’t go tumbling over.

Liam leans forward and kisses him, just a quick press of his lips against Louis’ and pulls back. Louis’ stopped laughing, his eyes wide open and Liam licks his lips, wants to desperately kiss him again. Liam lets go of Louis’ wrists to push the ice-cream out of the way, bridging the gap between them slower this time, giving Louis plenty of time to turn away.

His heart’s beating so hard against his chest he can’t quiet draw breath but his mind’s surprisingly clear. He knows what he wants and he wants Louis. He slides his palm over Louis’ wrists and up his arm until he can cup his jaw in his hand. Louis doesn’t hesitate anymore, dipping forward to kiss Liam, wrapping a hand around the back of his neck to pull him closer.

Liam startles at the cold sensation of Louis’ ice-cream covered hand at the back of his neck but Louis’ mouth is hot and eager under his and he tugs Louis’ closer, determined to lick every last taste of chocolate from his mouth.

~

But the thing is - Louis still can’t.

It’s his fault and he feels so fucking selfish even if he’s denying himself what he wants the most because this is self-preservation at its best. Louis avoids Liam for as long as he can considering they live together until Liam finally corners him in the elevator.

“Liam, I can’t date my roommate,” Louis says, his hand clutching at the hem of Liam’s t-shirt.

“Why not?” Liam asks and he nudges at Louis’ chin with his index finger, trying to get him to look up. Louis’ eyes flit up for a second to see his eyebrows drawn up and he looks sad and still a little hopeful.

“Because it’s not a good idea,” Louis says and lets go of Liam’s shirt. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh god no, don’t apologise,” Liam breathes out, wincing. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable; it’s perfectly fine if you’re not interested. You’re you and I’m just, y’know, me,” Liam hurriedly adds, taking a step back and smiling emptily at Louis. It doesn’t reach his eyes and guts Louis more than he thought would be possible.

“It’s not that, how could you ever think that?” Louis asks, genuinely bewildered to the point he starts to grab Liam’s hand again. He drops it immediately though and swallows hard instead. “You’ll get sick of seeing me every day – I’m alright in small doses but we just can’t start dating and living together – you’ll just,” he stops himself before he can say leave.

~

Liam moves out after three days.

~

Louis doesn’t move from his position on the couch, his arm thrown over his eyes. Zayn’s hugging him from behind, crushed underneath Louis’ weight but thankfully not complaining.

“I did everything to get him to stay and he left anyway,” Louis mumbles and he can’t even bring himself to whine like he usually would. Harry’s sitting on the ground besides the couch and rests his head against Louis’ knee.

“Sorry, Lou,” Zayn says and Louis just shrugs. He doesn’t get to feel terrible if it’s his own fucking messed up fault.

~

After a week, Louis gets a text from Liam asking if they can meet at the coffee shop on campus. Louis doesn’t hesitate to say yes and then realises he has no idea what he’s doing - if he’s doing this to just torture himself or Liam or if he’s just really stupid as he always thought.

“Harry what am I doing?” Louis calls out from his room.

“Getting your shit together,” Harry says without missing a beat.

Louis wishes he could stick to feeling one thing at a time. He wishes he could just stick to feeling that stomach-dropping terror of being left all alone for someone better or the way his heart feels like it’s swelling up five sizes too big at the thought of Liam when he’s sleepy-eyed and messy-haired or just the ache from missing him. He wishes he could stick to feeling one thing so he won’t constantly be doing this to himself.

Liam hands Louis his coffee from where he’s standing outside the coffee shop. Louis smiles in thanks and bites down on his bottom lip when their fingers brush together. He sips his coffee instead of blurting out what he wants to.

“Hi,” Liam says and Louis’ eyes flick up from where it’s written ‘Tony Stark’ on his cup. Liam’s smiling at him and Louis doesn’t understand how he can stand Louis right now.

“Hey,” Louis says, going too hard for casual and sounding odd to his own ears. Liam rubs at his arms, still smiling at Louis.

“I didn’t mean for you to leave,” Louis says in a hurry before he can stop himself, shivering as the icy wind cuts through his clothes.

He looks taken aback for a moment before he says, “Niall’s coming back.”

“What?” Louis asks, frowning up at Liam because he’d know if Niall was coming back from Swedish. Harry would know if Niall was coming back.

“It’s supposed to be a surprise. I lent him money for the plane ticket,” Liam says.

“You don’t know Niall,” Louis says, feeling an overwhelming urge to hit Liam upside his head.

“Yeah but I know Harry loves him,” Liam says and shrugs. “He said he’ll pay me back.”

Louis wordlessly pushes the door to the coffee shop, grabbing Liam’s wrist and pulling him in to escape the cold. He also needs to sit down because Liam literally makes his knees go weak.

~

“I’m sorry,” Liam says, scratching at the table with a ragged fingernail. He glances up at Louis past his fringe and looks back down, biting his lower lip between his teeth.

“For kissing me?” Louis asks. He knows full well why his heart sinks at that but this is his entire fault anyway. This was his doing; he can’t expect to feel disappointed after that.

“No,” Liam says, stopping the nervous tick of his finger by spreading them flat on the desk. He looks back up and he’s pinking up but he looks Louis straight in the eye when he says, “for falling in love with you.”

“You’re an idiot,” Louis says but can’t keep it up long enough for Liam to even react before he’s lunging across the coffee table and reaching for Liam. “I’m a fucking idiot,” he murmurs before he kisses him, sprawled awkwardly over the table with the edge of it digging hard into his hipbones but Liam only makes a surprised noise against him and shoves forward to make it easier for Louis.

“Does this mean we can date now?” Liam says, laughing as Louis pulls back to climb on top of the table and tumble besides Liam instead of just circling around it like a normal person.

“Yeah,” Louis says before he’s on him again, attempting to climb into his lap and straddle his hips by pushing Liam’s shoulders back onto the booth.

He can do this – he can try at the very least, being loved by Liam’s worth it.

They get kicked out of the café but Liam holds his hand as they’re leaving and whenever Louis steals side-long glances at him, Liam’s grinning at him and Louis steps closer to knock their shoulders together.

“I have reason to be sorry too,” he says, hoping Liam’s gets what he’s saying.

Liam stops them in the middle of the street and kisses him until at least four cars honk past them and Louis finds that he’s not that sorry at all.

~

Epilogue

Harry’s pretty sure they don’t have a Nando’s in Sweden and so he drags Nick to the closest one near their flat and orders Niall’s favourite meal.

“You have such an odd way of pining,” Nick says, watching Harry eat. Harry’s got Peri-Peri sauce all over his mouth and on the tip of his nose. He holds his knife and fork with grim determination and gets Nick to take a picture. “You can do this by yourself, y’know,” Nick says in amusement.

Harry ends up dragging Nick into a picture and Nick sends it to Niall before Harry has a chance to look at it. In the picture, Nick looks like he’s about to lick sauce off the side of his face and he hands Harry’s phone back with a smug grin.

“Call me later after to thank me, you little shit,” Nick says and ruffles Harry’s hair fondly.

~

The door slams open and Niall’s standing there with his huge backpack. He strides forward before Harry can properly react to the fact he’s home to crowd him against one of the beams in their loft. He doesn’t waste time, dropping his backpack to the floor and cupping Harry’s face to press a kiss to his lips.

“I thought you didn’t miss me,” Harry says in shock, his arms wrapping around Niall’s waist to keep him close.

“Of course I missed you, you twat,” Niall says and pushes himself up on his tippy-toes to kiss him again. Harry makes a surprised sound in the back of his throat before he kisses him back eagerly, shoving his hands underneath his shirt to run his palms up his sides.

Harry pulls back only to hug Niall as tight as he can, smiling into his hair helplessly.

“Don’t leave again,” Harry says, starting to walk them backwards into his bedroom.

“Okay,” Niall says, grinning back at him, his cheeks flushed. He almost trips backwards over his backpack but they make it safely to Harry’s room and slam the door shut behind them.

“Fucking finally,” Zayn says to himself from his position on the couch. They’ve completely forgotten he’s existed but that’s okay. He just turns the volume up and waits for them to finish so they can celebrate Niall’s return properly.