Chapter Text
His therapist reacts with a healthy dose of skepticism regarding his proposal.
So Logan is already primed to be rejected when he leaves the ring for her to find, when he asks.
What he isn't expecting, but maybe should have, is the way she stokes his temper and incites him. It doesn't really work but half way in he realizes that's what she wants - the mirage of bad boy Logan who is contemptuous and violent and very much a man - and he plays it as well as can, tries to give her what she wants.
It's in the curl of his mouth in the morning though and maybe therapy is working because when she prods him he actually tells the truth.
He does not, and has never, enjoyed being the snarky bad boy. The 'violent' cupboard smashing echo of his father.
So of course that's what she must want most from him.
Eli has never left Neptune and Logan doesn't really frequent the places where they might meet.
They meet occasionally on the boardwalk, even long before Veronica returned.
The funny thing is, as adults, Logan had tried to reach out. He remembered how well they got along back when they were teenagers and he thinks that his vast wealth doesn't separate them now and it should be easy.
But it hadn't been easy. From the curl of Eli's smirk to his long eyelashes and heavy gaze. Logan just out of basic. Eli had come over for a beer, after an invitation at a supermarket, and had looked on unimpressed at Logan's living situation with Dick, as if finding out he lived in a frat house which maybe wasn't far from the truth.
Another invitation and Logan had attended a family barbecue with too many cousin's kids and met Eli's wife and infant son.
The third time they met up for a drink at a beachside bar, talked about old times and Veronica and spring breakers before walking tipsy along the beach and Logan had laughed for the first time in years and Eli had looked at him and - and he had soundly noped out of that situation, saying 'this isn't going to work, I can't see you again' like he could see exactly the defect Logan had been and was and probably always would be.
After Veronica returns Logan still sees Eli sometimes, raises a hand in greeting - which is raised in kind, but never again does Logan approach him.
Eli changes, like Logan changes, he becomes more heavy set and grey, gets more tattoos. Logan tries not to notice and blushes when he hears a group of spring breakers call him 'Daddy' behind his back. He thinks of Eli's sweet wife, just a very nice woman, and thinks privately none of them have a chance. Eli looks like a lot but Logan's seen what he goes in for - white picket fence and sweet. Eli rejected his friendship solely because Logan is fucked up, so he's going to take one look at those bikini babes and label them trouble.
Logan thinks idly that it's a good thing Veronica likes the fucked up part of him the most, because Logan doubts it's going anywhere.
His therapist at least does not agree.
She thinks his reactions are very natural, perhaps even mild based on the trauma ingrained in him. She comments on the lack of field trauma from his work experiences and muses that perhaps by learning to deal with his childhood traumas it left him better suited to handle it.
Logan doesn't know about that but he knows it certainly helps him with the rejection. Eli's, Veronica's, the world's. He faces it grimly and without complaint.
Logan is away for work a lot and it's not like he doesn't know life goes on without him when he's gone.
He does arrive home one time to find the house in disarray, wine glasses on the counter and various sundries out. Even when he finds a man's wallet it doesn't cross his mind Veronica may be cheating.
It's almost alarming to realize that he wouldn't mind if she were, so long as she stayed with him.
He guesses he has more of his mother in him then he thought. Then he thinks back to the bridge where his mother jumped - where he almost jumped. Thinks of Eli Navarro and flips the wallet open and - of course.
Just like Lilly.
When Logan confronts the blackmailer for Daniel Maloof he is so very good at playing pretend - he's in intelligence after all - until the boy says so matter-of-fact, so disgusted, in the voice of Logan's dead father,
"He's submissive."
Then something to the effect -
"Can't get off without a tiny blonde giving him permission."
- which is Logan all over isn't it? The part of him to be sneered at, the part Veronica would not enjoy because she likes it rough, likes to be picked up and manhandled and Logan is doing his best and the only time they'd broached the subject in therapy Logan had shut that shit down -
That's all it takes for Logan to loose his composure. At the very least it's not a life or death situation and his incompetence is witnessed only by some teenager.
He does another stint, finds another personal effect of Eli's. A plaid overshirt, just his size, just his style.
Veronica hums and reminisces about the good ol' days and eventually they end up on the subject of Eli. Mostly it's Veronica talking about Eli. How he was the hood with a heart of gold in high school, how he'd come through for her a lot, how she ran into him the other day. Veronica tells him lots of things about Eli's life - that he's struggling, that he only very recently went clean from crime again, that his wife left him and took their son with her, that he's trying hard but can't get visitation rights and can't afford a lawyer.
Logan can see the writing on the wall.
Eli is everything Logan tried to be in high school to protect himself - only he isn't some sad white boy's imitation, he's the real deal.
Logan's days are limited.
Logan nods and acts interested and jokes around because the alternative is just too painful.
His therapist listens, and he tells her not to expect Veronica, that asking her to come to couples therapy was a fool's errand.
He maybe breaks down a little about how worthless he feels.
"It isn't wrong to want something else, but did you consider what you need? Are your needs being met? I hesitate to broach the subject again Logan," she says, so matter of fact, "but there is a side of yourself that does not deserve your derision and maybe Veronica will like it and maybe she won't, but won't it be a relief to stop hiding it?"
Logan pretends he doesn't know what she's talking about.
It culminates in a lurid scene, straight out of a private detective novel. A man arrives home to find his wife -
Logan arrives home to find the love of his life, who refuses to marry him, in the arms of another man.
They spring apart from their place on the couch while Logan fiddles with his keys at the door.
"I guess the carriage turned into a pumpkin, huh?" he says blithely, the same self hating smirk he's always worn to protect himself appearing.
Eli puts his hands up, like 'I'm innocent!' as Logan comes in. Logan takes off his jacket and goes into the kitchen to make a drink.
"We were trying to wait until you arrived." Veronica says, getting up and fixing her smudged lipstick.
"You already said no Veronica, or is this a more emphatic no that you felt you had to stick me with?" Logan's tone is facetious.
He's mixing three drinks. He serves them both before picking up his own.
"Well don't let me stop you, I can sleep on the couch."
It's half meant to be an insult and half truth, at the very least it stops Logan from begging her to stay. He's sure, at least, they can get a couple more weeks out of the relationship before Veronica dumps him for good and he's left alone to rot.
Logan can tell Veronica is not happy with his response, she wants something more from him, like tears or pain. Unfortunately for her Logan is an old hand at this certain disappointment, just ask his Dad. He once beat him so hard Logan couldn't sit for a week and still, that man hadn't got tears out of him.
Shockingly, it's Eli who diffuses the situation.
"Well you heard him Veronica, let's give him a show. Since he doesn't mind."
Logan can't meet Eli's sharp gaze when the man says it, instead focuses on nursing his drink.
Veronica hesitates, but just, then she crawls into Eli's lap.
They are graceful, a perfect hot couple. Logan tries not to watch politely until Veronica gasps his name and well - once he looks he finds his eyes glued to them.
Veronica is wearing black lingerie. Eli's hands are guiding her hips down. They fumble around a bit, like they can't get enough of each other - and actually Logan really does want to cry.
Eventually they have to get up to remove their clothing, but they're stumbling to the bedroom before Logan knows it. He turns away and back to his drink. Veronica comes back though, breathing heavily like she's just run a marathon.
"Come on." she says, tugging at his sleeve and Logan guesses she just wants him to be there for the big 'fuck you', to show him just how much of a man he isn't.
He goes, stomach sinking.
He stands quietly by the door while they fuck with all their clothes off. Eli lifts her by her tiny waist and she rides him with total abandon, loudly. They fit together, make an arousing picture and maybe if Logan had the imagination he would have envisioned this in his private fantasies.
It's so much rougher than his and Veronica's quiet, sweet love making. More intense and Logan wonders if she ever loved him at all. He feels like he felt just after the bridge, when he poured his heart out to her - more than anyone in his life and he'd cried then - and she had accused him of being the murderer.
Eli and Veronica smile breathlessly at each other on the bed after they've finished, as if sharing a secret. Logan's face is blank, shows nothing. He only clues into his part in things when Eli gets up, dick swinging (bigger than Logan's) and approaches him with a self satisfied smile. Oh, Logan thinks dully, I'm supposed to be the cuck.
Eli gives a significant glance at Logan's crotch that has him curling into himself.
"Just some kissing Logan, please." Veronica says from the bed, watching them intently.
For a moment Logan is shell shocked. Eli is looking at his face, watching his reaction.
"Come on, you're not afraid of a little tongue?" Eli smirks, "Give the lady what she wants, or are you afraid she'll see what a little bitch you are?"
It dawns on Logan that Veronica wants to see them battle for dominance, so to speak. He finds his face heating without his permission and he knows his expression looks caught out, scared maybe.
But it's a way to keep Veronica, who watches with prurient interest.
Logan does his best, aggressively moving forward and attacking Eli's mouth with his own. Pretending he is the man Veronica thinks he is. He thinks idly that he'll have to break something in misplaced aggression, maybe the bedside lamp. That thought crumbles just as quickly as Logan's life does because it only takes a moment for Eli to gain the upper hand, gain control.
He backs Logan up against the door, hands going for Logan's wrists as he does something clever with his tongue that causes Logan to gasp audibly. Logan briefly struggles when his hands are pushed above his head but the way Eli clicks in amusement makes his mind go blank. His face is burning.
Veronica looks confused at the turn of events, her face drops into a mask of concentration.
Logan wants to say that he's not a little bitch, that he likes it sweet (which he guesses would only prove the first point) but he finds he can't say anything. Eli's grip on his wrists tightens and he laughs breathlessly, mouth inches from Logan's.
"Fuck, that's hot." Veronica finally concludes, then throws a smirky little smile at Logan like she hasn't just torpedoed their lives, "Keep going, make Logan your bitch."
And it's - it's what Veronica wants. It was too idealistic, perhaps, for Logan to think he'd ever get it sweet. But he can give her what she wants. She wants him as she thought he was - a bratty misbehaving bad boy, only now she wants him to get his comeuppance, so to speak. Logan can give her that, can give her any piece of him that she wants.
"Come on Eli," Logan smirks, the same one that never failed to make his Dad hit harder, "Make me your bitch. Or don't you have it in you?"
Eli bares his teeth and moves them to the bed, bodily throws Logan down onto it in a way that makes Logan's stomach twist. Veronica scrambles out of the way and situates herself against the head board to watch.
Eli strips Logan's shirt off, then his pants and shorts until he's just as naked as the two of them are.
"Oh, what a pretty little pink dick." He says mockingly, reaching down to cup Logan, "It's no surprise that you're the twink everyone says you are behind your back."
Logan would color if his face wasn't red already, when he glances over at Veronica she gives him a sly look.
"A Twunk, at least." she winks.
Eli picks him up by the hips and flips him over onto his belly, moves him across the bed so he's facing Veronica on hands and knees.
Logan feels like he can't breath, feels paralyzed, mouth dropping open when Eli starts to caress his legs. It takes a moment for Logan to recall the pattern, for him to realize Eli is tracing the caning marks his Dad left on him. Veronica hasn't really noticed them because they're always facing each other when they -
"You like it rough?" Eli laughs, amused.
Logan feels like he's just been doused with a bucket of cold water, and any hint of arousal he'd been trying to cultivate evaporates. But Veronica is still in front of him, chest heaving, looking like the cat that caught the canary. Logan feels like the canary.
"Why don't you go ahead and see how rough I like it." Logan spits in challenge, a sort of sad imitation of something sexy.
That makes Eli laugh again and he smacks Logan's backside. Veronica groans and a hand creeps between her legs.
"Do that again." she pleads and just like that Logan's arousal is back.
He tries to be still as Eli spanks him.
"You like that?" Eli asks, "Maybe you'd like my dick better."
And Logan is putting on a show. This isn't for him. It doesn't matter if he likes it.
"Well if your dick is anything like your slaps I won't even feel it." Logan spits, grins at Veronica like he grinned when he'd had blood in his teeth and it's at that moment that he realizes he's in danger of dissociating.
Maybe that's better.
"Are you gonna hold me down and make me your bitch or not?" Logan spits, and - he does want it. Or, he can admit privately that at times he'd wanted to be laid down in a field of flowers and pressed into, so it's the same, isn't it - "Or you don't have stamina for a round two? Veronica's already cucked me after all, the only thing left is for you to fuck your cum into me, think you can manage?"
The vulgarity turns Logan's stomach but Veronica, after being momentarily stunned at the words, falls into an open mouthed picture of arousal, hand moving faster between her legs. The words incense Eli too, and the smacks hurt more after that, but Logan doesn't ask him to stop even when his teeth clack and he's sure he's going to bruise.
"Fuck you're filthy Echolls." Eli says, stepping close and rubbing the length of himself across Logan's backside.
Logan tenses, and his mind is fuzzy. He has to fight to stay present.
Eli puts a hand on his neck and pushes him down but he doesn't go. It's like his spine has stiffened. Eli takes it for a power play and turns Logan back around so he's lying on his back.
"Aw, pretty boy Echolls wants to be fucked face to face, how sweet." he taunts, running a hand up Logan's outer thigh.
"Oh fuck." Veronica moans breathlessly, "Make him take it Weevil."
"How about it Logan?" Eli asks - is actually asking - "Do you think you can take me?"
It was better the other way, Logan on his knees, not so personal. It feels too intense, but Logan can't afford to hesitate or Eli really will stop and Veronica won't love him anymore and anyway hadn't he fantasied about this with Eli for years, since high school, and what did it matter if his dreams were sweeter? Dreams don't come true. And if they did Logan would be the last one alive to deserve it.
Logan spits at Eli's face and smiles in the way he knows aggravates Eli the most.
That gets the reaction he's wanting. Eli laughs bitterly and shoves him down, then puts his hands under Logan's knees and shoves his legs up so he's spread open.
"You want to get fucked like a bitch, perra, want your girlfriend to watch you get turned out? Be my guest."
Then Eli is lining up and pressing in and it hurts. Logan hisses before petering into silence. Eli stops immediately, wipes the spit off his face in frustration.
"Prep first." Veronica says significantly, pulling a bottle of lube from the bedside table, "He hasn't - I don't think he's - I mean, if he has, it's been a while."
They talk over him as Logan lies in a bed of his own making.
"Oh I am 1000 fucking percent sure he's taken dick before Veronica." Eli scoffs.
Logan hasn't. Logan hasn't even kissed a man before tonight, but he doesn't say anything because he doesn't want to ruin it. They will eventually cast him out, he's sure, but not tonight. Tonight he can pretend Veronica will still love him in the morning. Tonight he can pretend Eli is doing this because he has a modicum of liking for Logan.
"Have yo-" Veronica begins but Logan interrupts that question as quickly as he can.
"I don't need prep for your tiny dick." Logan spits at Eli.
"Maybe there's a better way to keep your mouth occupied." Eli frowns, and Logan can tell he's reached the end of Eli's patience, he just needs to push a little more.
But as he opens his mouth Eli sticks his fingers in, deep and aggressive. So far that Logan gags.
"Not so experienced now, are you?" he asks meanly.
Veronica is watching, eyes a little glazed, mouth open again. She likes it. So Logan sucks. He hollows out his cheeks and spit gathers and overflows from the corners of his mouth and he tries to lick it up, is embarrassed, but he only really ends up making a bigger mess of spit and licking Eli's fingers in the process. Eli groans in a way that goes straight to Logan's cock.
"Fuuuck." Eli swears before pulling his fingers out with a pop.
Logan shivers. It feels good. It shouldn't feel good.
Veronica's fingers are already slick, somehow Logan missed it, but she finally joins the fray, reaching past Logan to work her fingers inside of him. Eli leans back and away to watch, eyes glued to the motion of her fingers. Logan is so embarrassed he could die, he bites down on his lip to stop any noises. It feels...
"Logan Echolls, too much of a stud to moan." Eli teases when he finally looks up at him.
The expression on Eli's face then is kind. Logan looks away, finds he wants to cover his face. They're cracking him open and he can't -
"Fuck me." he says, voice all gravel, "use me."
Veronica lets out a low moan at that, uses her other hand to reach out and tug him.
Veronica finally withdraws and kisses him, wipes at the blood on his lip where he bit it. He's staring deep into her eyes when Eli finally enters him and he can't help the low whine that punches out of him.
Eli pushes in steadily, for such a long time, so much of him, that Logan almost feels like he can't take it.
When he looks at him Eli's expression is something a little contemptuous. The smug look he gives him when he finally bottoms out makes Logan swallow dryly, makes him feel hunted and he can't believe Eli is inside him.
"It's like every word out of your mouth is just you begging for someone to come and pound their frustrations out, you know?" Eli says quietly, and that's funny - Logan's dad used to say something similar before he beat him.
It's also funny that Eli is so well spoken when Logan can't even seem to string two words together.
"Wish. Fucking. Granted." Eli says, thrusts punctuating every word.
Logan focuses on trying to breath quietly, trying not to make any noise. Veronica is watching his face intently, he feels like she's devouring him. Eli is watching too, eyes half lidded and thrusts growing lazy. Logan has to live up to the dream is the thing. Has to be a good lay or -
"Fuck me harder." Logan says and Veronica's gaze widens in delight, "Ruin me." Logan feels ruined, "Fuck my brains out."
Logan isn't particularly a good dirty talker but he's heard these phrases before, they're run of the mill. Saying them though does not feel run of the mill. Saying them feels scary, like Logan is racing towards his destruction. But he's already so overwhelmed, already so full.
Eli runs a hand over Logan's abs, still thrusting slowly.
"I think I can feel my dick." Eli says as he pushes his hand down.
He can't, Logan's sure, but the idea of it is enough to - to put Logan over the edge.
Eli smears his hand through the mess, all over Logan's belly and chest. He isn't finished though. Compared to Eli, Logan has lasted an embarrassingly short time.
Eli begins fucking him in earnest and Logan can only hold on, fingers grasping at the sheets until Veronica curls one of her hands over his. His ass smarts from earlier as Eli slaps against it and Logan can feel all of him. Can feel his balls even when he finally cums and presses himself deep into him, hips jerkily pumping his cum inside.
When Eli finally pulls out he gives Logan's ass a hard smack, then thumbs his cheeks apart to survey his handiwork.
"Squeeze puta or you're going to leak cum everywhere." He says airily.
"Holy shit." Veronica exhales, a total disheveled mess, leaning over to see what Eli sees, "That was so fucking hot."
Logan does pass a hand over his eyes then, he pretends he isn't hiding but that's exactly what he's doing. He feels ashamed and degraded and used and just not good enough. It takes a few seconds for him to swallow it down. The last thing anyone would want would be to deal with a mess like him.
Veronica doesn't seem to notice his inner turmoil, she jumps into Eli's lap, straddling him as she laughs and kisses him. They roll down to the bed and someone throws an arm over Logan but he can't understand who until Eli squeezes his shoulder and asks,
"You good?"
Neither of them can see his face. Logan nods and that's good enough. Very soon Veronica and Eli drop off to sleep in a post coital haze while Logan lies there.