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Brendon had been listening to Ryan groan and sigh for approximately 10.6 minutes before it became really annoying. He turned on his side and looked across the space between his and Ryan’s beds.
“Ryan, what the fuck?! Go to sleep!”
Sometimes Brendon really hated sharing hotel rooms with other people. Sure, Ryan was his friend and he typically enjoyed his company, but he had to deal with this kid and his bullshit all day long, every day and sometimes it was just too much. He closed his eyes and imagined that he was all alone. No one asking him any questions or expecting him to do anything for them. He tried to silence all the 'How are you adjusting to the pressures of fame?' and 'Oh my God! Brendon! Sign my shoes!' He was beyond exhausted and he just really wanted Ryan to shut the fuck up. He heard the sheets rustling from across the room and he heard Ryan’s small voice travel through the air.
“I’m sorry. I just can’t sleep.”
“Is something wrong?”
That was a dangerous question to ask because, with Ryan, something was always wrong but Brendon was kind of hoping that this was not one of those times that Ryan felt like sharing.
“Not really.”
“Well, do you think you could be a little more quiet while you’re not sleeping?”
Brendon wasn’t trying to be an asshole and he really did care what Ryan’s problem was this time, really. But, he also really cared about sleeping.
“Brendon, I’m sorry and I don’t know why I’m telling you this...but...I’m just...really horny right now and it’s pissing me off.”
Apparently this was one of those times when Ryan felt the need to share things with Brendon. They had know each other for awhile now and for some unknown reason Ryan felt that they had some kind of bond that Brendon wasn’t really sure that they actually had.
“Um...okay dude. Why don’t you go take care of that so I can go to sleep?”
“It’s not the same.” Ryan sighed. “Don’t you ever miss sex Brendon? I mean, like, with another person?”
Everything in Brendon’s head kind of went blank at this point. He stared up at the ceiling and he could almost make out the pattern of tiles through the darkness in the room, but he wasn’t wearing his glasses so that made things a little blurrier. He tried to focus on something, anything, anything other than what Ryan just said to him.
Brendon had never had sex before.
He felt his chest tighten and he knew his face had to be about the color of his favorite red shirt. He really didn’t want to have this conversation, ever. Especially with Ryan, who thought about sex the way most people thought about jogging. It was something that made him feel good and something that should be done at least once a day and when he didn’t have time to do it, he got angry. Apparently sometimes angry enough to keep Brendon up in the middle of the night to talk about it.
The time frame in which Brendon could have casually replied - lied - was slipping quickly away. His brain desperately tried to formulate some kind of answer to this ridiculous question. But, sometimes, mostly when he was tired, Brendon’s mouth worked independently of his brain.
“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never had sex before.”
He swore he could hear Ryan stop breathing, or maybe that was just himself because he definitely felt a rush of heat surge in his body and stop to wrap it’s fiery fingers around his throat. Thankfully stopping him from saying anything else.
“Are you fucking kidding me?! You’re a - virgin?”
The pause in Ryan’s voice did not go unnoticed. It was like he couldn’t even bring himself to say the word. Brendon tried to loosen his throat from the grip that humiliation had on it.
“Yeah, just...” Brendon tried to continue but Ryan interrupted him before he could think of anything else to say.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me this before? In fact, I think you have blatantly lied to me about this before.” Brendon could tell that Ryan was thinking about something, possibly going over in his head every conversation about sex that Brendon had pretended to be a part of.
“I don’t know. Can we go to sleep now?”
“Wow.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Brendon wasn’t sure how ‘wow’ was any kind of appropriate response to this situation.
“Nothing I guess, just, fuck man, you’re probably hornier than I am!”
Brendon heard Ryan laughing and it really wasn’t helping the blood to drain from his cheeks.
“So, really? You’ve never had sex before?”
Brendon found it odd that he couldn’t remember Ryan ever sounding this interested in anything before.
“No, I haven’t. I mean, I’m only eighteen. Not everyone is like you.”
“Like me?”
“Yeah, not everyone thinks that sex is so important.”
“I don’t think sex is - important - but I mean. I don’t know. I just can’t believe you never told me before.”
“Well, sorry, but I just never really wanted to have the conversation that we’re having right now. So, if you need to go jerk off or something, fine, but can we not talk about this anymore?”
“Okay, sorry. You don’t have to get mad about it. I’m just surprised.”
Brendon didn’t respond because, really, he didn’t have anything else to say. Maybe he had wanted to have this discussion with Ryan. Maybe he had wanted to ask Ryan about sex, about what it was like and what it felt like and what he was supposed to do, just in case he ever got the chance. But, he wasn’t a girl and he didn’t think this was something guys really talked about with each other. This was, however, probably the closest he was going to get to a sleep over and they were both just lying in their beds awake anyway and it was probably better this way since he couldn’t see Ryan’s face.
“Is it really that great?”
“I thought you didn’t want to talk about it?”
“Well, I changed my mind.”
Brendon let his friend go on and on at length about how yes, it was really that great, about what girls felt like and what they tasted like and how good their mouths felt around his dick and how coming inside another person was absolutely mind blowing, at least the first couple of times. Brendon was a little embarrassed that this conversation was turning him on the way it was, but he figured it was okay because they were talking about sex and girls and all and it definitely wasn’t Ryan’s voice that was turning him on, it was what his voice was saying. Regardless, he was absolutely hard and very glad that it was so dark in their room. He was not sure how long he lay there listening to Ryan tell him all about the wonders of sex but it had to end at some point.
“Brendon, not that I don’t like talking about sex or anything, but this really isn’t helping my problem very much.”
Ryan laughed and for a few seconds Brendon didn’t understand what he was talking about because he was still trying to comprehend how you would even get into the last position Ryan had just been talking about. He took his mind off of it briefly to answer his friend.
“Oh, um, we can stop now. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’ll just be right back.”
Ryan threw the covers back and went to get out of his bed.
“You don’t have to leave.”
As soon as the words left his mouth, Brendon hoped for some kind of magical spell, under which Ryan hadn’t heard him and he could keep his mouth shut for the rest of the evening, perhaps forever.
“Actually, I do. This was mildly annoying at first, but it is borderline painful right now.”
“Yeah. I mean. You don’t have to do it in the bathroom. I mean, I know what you would be doing in there anyway, so it’s not like you have to hide it or something.”
Brendon was rambling at this point and he had no idea why he was saying the things he was. If he ever looked back on it, he would blame sleep deprivation and Ryan’s pornographic stories and his inability to do magic.
“Uh, okay. Jerking off in the bathroom always sucks anyway.”
Ryan laughed again and Brendon had to agree with him on that one. He lay there trying not to think about what he knew Ryan was doing a few feet away from him. He didn’t hear anything so that was helping, but then...
“Mmm...Brendon, do this with me?”
Brendon’s heart was beating so ridiculously fast that he couldn’t even tell if there were separate beats anymore. It just felt like one big thud in his chest. This wasn’t a good idea. He should have told Ryan to leave the room because now he was moaning softly and, and talking to him?
“What?”
“Come on, it’s less embarrassing if we’re both doing it.”
“Um, okay?”
Brendon let his hand slip down his bare chest and hesitantly past the elastic of his boxers. He still wasn’t completely sure that Ryan wasn’t playing some kind of joke with him. His fingers reluctantly wrapped around his erection and he sighed. He probably should have tried to stay quieter because now Ryan was talking to him again.
“What are you thinking about, Bren?”
“I don’t know. What are you thinking about?”
“This time when I was going down on a girl and she kind of pulled my hair when she came. It felt really good.”
Brendon slowly lifted his free hand to his hair and gave it a quick tug, just to see what Ryan meant, but he felt pretty silly pulling his own hair and decided that it probably felt different if someone else was doing it. He let go of his hair and pressed his head back hard against the pillow as he let out a shaky breath. His hand sped up its motions and he could hear the sounds Ryan was making and he tried really hard not to look over. He was afraid to see his friend’s hand moving frantically up and down his cock, writhing against the sheets. But he was absolutely terrified that if he looked over he would see Ryan looking back at him.
He kept his eyes glued shut and didn’t think about anything except breathing and his warm hand and the heat that was building in his stomach. And he hadn’t meant to, but his eyes slid open and over to his friend and he saw that Ryan had his pajama pants pulled all the way down to his knees and he watched Ryan’s legs jerk and saw him spill against his belly. He saw the way his friend’s dick softened in his grip and slid back and forth in the wetness on his lower stomach, as Ryan let go of it. That was too much and his hips jerked up off the bed as he came into his hand.
He tried to slow his breathing down as he heard Ryan moving around, probably pulling his pants back up. He tried to convince himself that this was not completely fucked up. People probably did this all the time. It wasn’t a big deal. He pulled his hand out of his underwear and wiped it on the sheets. He felt something sharp sting against the side of his ribs and looked down to see the box of tissues that Ryan had apparently thrown at him from across the room.
“I feel a lot better now. Thanks Bren.”
Brendon wondered what exactly Ryan was thanking him for but he had to admit that he was feeling pretty good himself, so he let it go.
“Goodnight Ryan.”
It turned out that what Brendon had thought was a one time thing - wasn’t. It got a lot less awkward each time they did it. Sometimes they would talk and Ryan would go into detail about what was going through his head, about girls he had fucked in bathroom stalls and back seats of cars and the one time that he let a guy go down on him at a concert. Sometimes they wouldn’t talk.
Mostly Brendon kept quiet because he still had nowhere near the experience that Ryan did. He wasn’t a virgin anymore and Ryan was well aware of this fact because he had been there when it happened. Ryan would tell him later about how he and his girlfriend had been listening and how hot it was and how he was proud of him. Ryan was mostly kidding; Brendon thought. But, when they were back on the road again and at some random hotel again practicing their new favorite hobby with one another, Ryan definitely had been able to go into detail about everything he had heard and they both came thinking about memories of Brendon’s first time. And, perhaps he wasn’t kidding after all. That should really have been a lot creepier than it was.
Brendon never realized how much Ryan cared about his girlfriend until the day he found out that she cheated on him. The way Ryan talked about girls, it seemed like they were all the same to him but Brendon guessed that this one wasn’t. When Ryan got off the phone with her, he didn’t even seem pissed, he just seemed sad. Brendon figured Ryan wasn’t really in the mood tonight so he just went to sleep and didn’t bother his friend with questions of whether or not he was going to be okay. Brendon knew that he was.
He didn’t expect to be woken up a few hours after he went to sleep. Ryan was leaning lightly on the side of his bed and gently poking his arm.
“Brendon...”
Brendon’s eyes fluttered open and he slid back so there was room for Ryan to actually sit fully on the bed.
“Yeah?”
“I’m really sorry to wake you up and this is kind of weird, but can I lay here with you?”
Brendon had thought things were past being awkward with them by now, but he heard the anxiety in Ryan’s voice. When his eyes adjusted to the darkness he could see that Ryan was crying.
“Sure, I mean, of course.”
Brendon moved over so his friend could climb in the bed with him. Ryan stayed on his own side of the bed and wrapped the blankets tightly around himself. Brendon knew that Ryan liked when the sheets got tangled with his soft pants and pulled tightly around his legs. Brendon didn’t like feeling constricted when he was sleeping and he always made sure that one of his legs was hanging out from underneath the blankets. So, he didn’t really mind that Ryan had almost all of the covers wrapped around him.
Brendon lay on his back and Ryan lay on his side facing away, with his knees bent up and pulled toward his chest - like a little kid would sleep - Brendon thought and smiled as he closed his eyes. A few minutes later, Brendon couldn’t tell if Ryan was still crying or not but he could hear him sniffling and rolled to his side, draping his left arm around Ryan’s waist and pulling him backwards. He held Ryan, wrapped in all the blankets, against his chest and spoke into the top of his friend’s head.
“Ryan?”
Ryan sniffed but didn’t say anything, so Brendon continued.
“You can sleep in the bed with me anytime you want. You don’t have to ask.”
Ryan still stayed quiet, so Brendon kept his firm hold around him and fell back to sleep.
They didn’t tell anyone else about what they did. It wasn’t a big deal and they never did it on the bus. No one asked about why they always insisted on sharing hotel rooms with each other when they got to the point where they could certainly afford to get their own. They were Ryan-and-Brendon and that’s all most people needed to know because trying to figure them out was just pointless.
The touring seemed to be endless. They would have a break for a week or so at a time but then it was back on the road again. Brendon had a hard time even remembering what time of year it was. He remembered playing some shows outside for a few months so it was probably the end of the summer or maybe it was already fall. What he did know was that it was the middle of the afternoon and they didn’t have to play that night so he and Ryan were trying to come up with something to do with their free time. Brendon had already called room service twice and when they got bored with food, they decided that they were going to try and write a song or two. They had both turned off their cell phones and Ryan had ripped the cord to the room phone out of the wall so they wouldn’t be disturbed.
They had not thought ahead to the fact that they didn’t have any instruments in their room so Ryan was messing with Garage Band on his computer trying to play the piano on the keyboard of his laptop.
“Ry, you know we’re never going to get anything done this way. You can’t even play a piano that has actual keys.”
Ryan moved the computer from his lap and laid it next to him on the bed. He looked over at Brendon, who was sitting in one of the chairs in the room, looking out the window.
“Okay. Let’s just write words then.”
Ryan got up from the bed and walked over to his bag shuffling through it until he found what he was looking for.
“Bren?”
“What?”
“Don’t freak okay. I think this will be fun and it will help us figure out what to write our song about.”
Ryan brought the joint and a lighter over to the table where Brendon was sitting and set them down.
“Why would I ‘freak out’ about this?”
“I don’t know. I feel like I’m being that guy that your parents warned you about right now.”
“Shut up. I have smoked pot before. Although, I don’t think doing it in a hotel room is the best idea.”
“Whatever. We’re totally rock stars now. I think it’s kind of expected.”
“Fine, but if anyone comes to the door, I’m hiding in the bathroom.”
They joked about how it wasn’t a good sign if Brendon was paranoid already. Brendon insisted that they open the window at least. Ryan lit the joint and they passed it back and forth until Brendon burned the tip of his finger and decided it wasn’t worth it anymore. They put it out in a half empty Mountain Dew bottle on the table.
“Try and remember not to drink this later, Bren.”
They both laughed and decided that they better throw the bottle in the trash can, just in case. A few minutes or twenty minutes or three hours later, Brendon wasn’t really sure, they were each lying on their beds staring up at the ceiling and Ryan was trying to explain why they weren’t going to write a song about how Brendon didn’t like walls that were painted light blue.
“They remind me of my orthodontist’s office and I hate them. I get flashbacks of the taste of disgusting fluoride rinse and the sounds of wires snapping.”
Brendon winced and held his hand to his jaw as if he could actually feel something.
“I’m sorry but no. ‘Blue walls’ is not going to be our next single. Think of something else.”
“Why don’t you think of something else? This is supposed to be your job anyway.”
“Yeah, well you’re supposed to be helping.”
“Sorry, but I’m a little distracted right now by the fact that my legs are tingling.”
“They are?”
“Yeah. Way to get the good shit, Ry.”
“Okay, good.”
“Good that my legs are tingling?”
“Yeah, because I am way fucked up right now but I didn’t want to say anything because you seemed so normal.”
They went back to brainstorming ridiculous ideas for songs but ended up talking about how Brendon couldn’t stand the way that hotel sheets felt.
“They just aren’t ever as soft as my sheets at home. Not to mention how disgusting it is if you really think about it. Do you ever think about how many people have fucked in that bed that you’re lying in right now?”
“They wash the sheets, Brendon.”
“I guess, but it’s still gross.”
“I wish I was fucking someone on this bed right now.”
“Do you want me to go downstairs and bring you one of those girls standing outside the hotel?”
“No thanks. They’re probably like sixteen anyway.”
“So?”
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that Bren.”
“Whatever. I don’t really feel like getting up anyway.”
“Do you feel like doing something else?”
Brendon knew what Ryan was asking. They had done it so many times now that they didn’t even really have to say it anymore. He could just tell by the way Ryan asked. They both agreed to keep their eyes to themselves because Brendon didn’t want to get under those evil hotel sheets.
Sometimes they turned it into a competition, just for fun. This was usually when they were doing it out of sheer boredom. They would see who could last the longest, who could be the quietest, the loudest, shoot the farthest.
“I’ll race you, Ry.”
“Deal.”
Brendon removed his clothes quickly, without looking, as Ryan did the same. They both started and got caught up in their own little fantasy worlds.
“Hey Ry?”
“Yeah?”
“You know what would be so cool?”
“Ungh...what?”
“Ryan, slow down, I’m calling a time out really quick.”
“Bren, you can’t have a ‘time out.’ You’re just making up rules now.”
“No, I was just thinking how awesome it would be if cum was colored.”
“Mmm...Brendon you’re insane.”
“But, think about it, like, if each time it came out a different color and you never knew what color to expect, like, when you reach into a bag of Skittles.”
“Okay...except it definitely doesn’t taste like a rainbow.” Ryan was laughing now in between his gasps and moans. Brendon really wished he was paying more attention, because seriously, rainbow colored cum would be all kinds of fun.
“Wait, Ry, you know what it tastes like?”
“Yeah. You’ve never tasted it before?” Brendon could tell that Ryan had stopped what he was doing and was probably sitting up and staring at him disbelievingly, but he dared not to look over.
“No. You mean, like, your own, or someone else’s?”
“My own.”
“Ew, why would you do that?” Brendon questioned, and he couldn’t help but look over in Ryan’s direction, because seriously, who tastes their own cum?
“I don’t know. I was curious, I guess. You never wondered what it tasted like?”
“I guess, but I wonder what a lot of things taste like. It doesn’t mean I would put them in my mouth.”
“It’s not that bad, Bren.”
Brendon was going to leave it at that and he wrapped his hand back around his somewhat distracted erection and pumped a few times to get it back on track. As he continued stroking himself, listening to Ryan’s quiet noises, his curiosity got the best of him.
“So, what does it taste like?”
“Fuck, Brendon, could you concentrate please? Maybe you don’t really care about getting off right now, but I do.”
“You brought it up.”
“I certainly did not.”
“Come on, Ry, just tell me what it tastes like and I’ll leave you alone.”
“Okay fine. I guess it’s like...I don’t know. Um...you know how when you have a sinus infection, you can kind of taste the snot dripping down the back of your throat?”
“Ew....yeah?”
“It’s kind of like that, but saltier.”
“That sounds disgusting. Do you think everyone tastes the same?”
“I don’t know Brendon, probably. If you’re so curious about this, I’ll make you a deal. New rule. If you win, I’ll taste yours and let you know.”
“What if you win?”
“Well, then I guess this will remain an unsolved mystery. Now can we stop talking?”
“Yeah.”
Brendon resumed his activities with renewed vigor. The thought of Ryan licking the cum off of him may have excited him a little more than it should have. He was sure Ryan was probably not really going to lick it off, but he could pretend.
He closed his eyes and pictured Ryan’s warm tongue against him, lapping at the sensitive skin just below his navel. He imagined Ryan’s wet lips on the head of his dick, kissing away the droplets that clung to it. He could hear Ryan’s moans getting louder and visualized Ryan moaning around his cock, swallowing him.
“Unhh...God...you’re about to lose Bren.”
Ryan’s voice sounded so fucking sexy in Brendon’s head and he felt the muscles in his legs tighten. He wasn’t going to let Ryan and his gorgeous mouth win. He felt himself start to tremble from the pressure building up until...someone was knocking on the door.
“Oh fuck!”
Ryan grabbed his boxers and sprinted toward the bathroom, nearly tripping and falling over his bag on the floor. Fucking traitor - Brendon thought to himself. He was supposed to be the one hiding in the bathroom. Ryan had clearly forgotten the plan. Brendon scrambled for the first piece of clothing he could find and held it in front of himself as he hurried to the door. He opened it just a crack, but the intruder pushed past him into the room. Fucking Spencer.
“What do you want?”
“What are you doing Brendon?”
“Nothing, why?”
Brendon went back to sitting on the bed, still covering himself up.
“Why do you guys have your phones off? And, why does it smell like weed in here? And, why aren’t you wearing clothes? Where’s Ryan?”
That was way too many questions for Brendon’s brain to handle at one time. Spencer looked down at Brendon’s lap and then he got a look in his eyes like he had just figured out some mystery of the universe. Brendon looked down too and realized that he was not covering his erection with his boxers, but with Ryan’s shirt. He went to say something to explain that this definitely wasn’t what Spencer thought it was, but he heard the shower turn on. Good thinking Ryan.
“He’s in the shower,” Brendon finally answered.
“Okay. Well. Will you tell him his girlfriend is looking for him?”
“Is she here?” Brendon panicked for a second.
“No, but she was trying to call, I guess.”
“Yeah, look Spence, whatever you’re thinking right now. It isn’t...”
Brendon tried to continue his explanation but Spencer was waving him off and heading out the door.
“I don’t wanna know Bren.”
As soon as the door closed, Brendon collapsed onto his back on the bed and exhaled. He felt like he hadn’t been breathing the entire time Spencer was there. He rationalized that this was impossible since he had been talking to him. As he contemplated whether or not it was possible to talk while not breathing, Ryan emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist, water from his hair dripping onto his shoulders and laughing hysterically.
“Holy shit Brendon!”
“Yeah, way to leave me here, prick!”
“Is that my shirt?”
Ryan pointed to the article in Brendon’s lap that he was using as his only clothing at the moment.
“Oh, sorry.”
Brendon mindlessly pulled his hand away and threw it towards Ryan’s bed. He soon realized he was completely naked and still hard.
“U-um.” Ryan stuttered and tried to look away. “You’re still...”
“Yeah, aren’t you?”
“Oh, uh, no. I kind of took care of that in the shower.”
“Asshole.”
“I could help you. If - if you want?”
Ryan walked over and sat down on the bed next to where Brendon was lying and looked down at his own hands while he waited for Brendon to respond or at least cover himself back up.
“You don’t have to, but I’m not going to stop you if you want to. I mean you kind of owe me for running out on me and leaving me to deal with Spencer. Oh, and by the way, I’m pretty sure he thinks we’re fucking now.”
Ryan turned around so he was facing Brendon and it looked to Brendon like he was contemplating something before he pulled one side of his mouth into a smirk.
“We shouldn’t disappoint him then.”
At this, Brendon grabbed the blankets and threw them over himself, scooting away from Ryan in the process.
“I am not going let you fuck me, Ry.”
“Calm down, I was kidding. But I do feel bad about before, so this is my final offer. Do you want me to take care of that for you?”
“Have you done this before?”
“No, but I think I can figure it out,” Ryan was kind of a sarcastic bitch sometimes. “C’mere.”
He pulled the blankets away from Brendon and hesitantly wrapped his strong, slender fingers around his friend’s dick. Brendon glanced up and briefly made eye contact. That was a bad idea.
“Ryan, this is weird.”
“Close your eyes. Just pretend I’m someone else. Scarlett Johansson - that’ll work.”
“Hey, don’t talk about my woman that way!” Brendon joked. “I’m pretty sure she does not have freakishly long fingers like you do.”
Brendon lifted his head slightly off the bed and looked down to where Ryan’s hand was wrapped around him and thought that seriously Ryan probably could have wrapped those fuckers around his dick twice.
“Brendon, stop thinking and just relax. It feels good doesn’t it?”
Brendon closed his eyes and felt Ryan twist his wrist slightly. He could feel his own heartbeat throbbing against Ryan’s thumb. Ryan’s towel-covered knee brushed against his thigh. Brendon didn’t have to open his eyes to know that Ryan was watching him. He didn’t have time to think about why this turned him on even more because the more he thought about it, the closer he got to completely losing control.
He thought about how Ryan was clearly wasting the talent of those fingers on his guitar. Ryan was insanely good at this, much better at this than he was at chords, that was for sure. Brendon rocked his hips up to meet Ryan’s grip a few times before it started to feel too good. He felt his dick twitch in Ryan’s hand.
“Fuck...Ry...I’m...”
Ryan slowed down his hand movements and pulled in lazy, strong strokes until Brendon had finished. He wiped his hand on his towel and used the corner of it to wipe Brendon’s chest.
“Damn, Bren, you definitely could have beat me for distance on that one.”
They both laughed and Ryan took off his towel and slid it to the ground as he lay down next to Brendon and pulled the blankets over them.
“Let’s take a nap.”
Brendon agreed and let his eyes slip shut. Sleeping with Ryan naked was definitely new, but it wasn’t necessarily bad.
“So, what did Spence want before?” Ryan asked as he curled onto his side, facing Brendon.
Brendon really didn’t want to answer him because it meant that Ryan was probably going to get up out of the bed and leave. Ryan was warm and Brendon liked the way their bare legs felt against each other.
“Your girlfriend called.”
“Oh, okay,” Ryan sighed and Brendon felt his friend’s breath against his shoulder before drifting to sleep.
Ryan was still next to him, their legs still tangled together, when he woke up.