Work Text:
You stand inside your apartment staring at the sink and the last of the milk cartons contents that was inside dripping down the drain.You thought to yourself that, that was the last thing you needed to throw out.
standing back and turning around you observed the silent apartment it looked as if no one had ever resided in it, though you had most of your Clothes folded neatly atop of your single bed.
you put on your light rain jacket with no hood as it had been torn off. You considered bringing the umbrella you owned but decided against it as you justify that you didn't need it.
Taking one final look at the apartment you resided in, smiling as it was clean of any sign of life you turn and walk out of it, locking the door behind, entering the cold atmosphere of Amsterdam.
The cold rain droplets poured down slamming against the street, the smog suffocating you slightly and the cars lights reflecting against the wet tar. you emerge from one of the many identical alleys that are around Amsterdam.
Being honest you didn't have an official destination you hope to reach in reality you just roamed the streets taking sharp corners hoping that a reckless driver would appear out of nowhere and wouldn't notice and take you out of your misery.
Your thoughts blurred for a moment as you put on your wired earphones you click the song and 'crack Baby' by mitski started playing and you started walking.
You strolled through a busy main street which contained multiple pubs and nightclubs along it. Your hair was soaking at this point and your mascara was running down your cheeks.
Drunk people inside the pubs and standing outside with cigarettes were now giving a few glances towards you, the glances weren't fueled by concern but interest and judgment.
Not that you cared, as you made your way to the top of the street you didn't look to see if there could possibly be a car coming at the junction.
You felt vibrations coming from your right and as you crossed the road, a blaring set of headlights blinded you and a car horn could be heard muffled from your music playing in your ears, the like a deer in headlights you paused hoping that this would be the end.
Sadly you didn't feel any impact as it stopped just in time. You quickly walked past with a sense of urgency hoping you wouldn't be confronted by the driver of said vehicle. you race around corners what for what seemed to be forever.
You slowed down after a few minutes as a wave of emotions flowed through you all at once.
You start to sniffle and cry and a heavy weight rests in your chest making it hard to breathe air into your lungs, you sit down and breathe for a few minutes as you gain back the ability to breathe freely but, you don't stop crying.
You realize your surroundings and you ended up on a quiet bridge maybe this is your intended destination maybe this is how it ends.
You slowly rise to your feet freezing in your denim shorts and your long forgotten jacket, it didn't do too much to protect you from the rain, come to think about it, you can't stop the inevitable not now, not ever.
You pull out a half damp cigarette and light it as you sit on the bridges edge. You take a drag staring down into the freezing water it was dark but you could hear it moving quickly.
You ponder on what it's like to drown.
Lost in your thoughts you do not hear the car behind you stop, nor did you hear the person walk up behind you, you only noticed him standing beside you as you smell smoke that didn't come from your cigarette.
Quickly pulling out your earphones you turn your head to see a blonde-haired guy with a cigarette and one hand and an umbrella in the other, as he held it over the both of you.
He looked back at you and spoke "may I say here with you?".
you quietly responded with a quick "yes" and nodded.
He sat down beside you and spoke breaking the silence "you know it's not exactly the best weather for late night stroll why are you here? if you don't mind me asking."
You shivered and glanced over at him, you replied, "I could ask the same thing about you. What are you doing out here in this rain?"
He grinned slightly "Touché. I usually enjoy the rain from the comfort of my home, I was actually on my way back there but I saw you and you peaked my interest." His blue eyes pierced you as he glanced at you.
You snorted at his response and you decided to entertain this conversation, "that's surprising, genuinely speaking, I don't know why I'm here, I was walking and I ended up here. I needed space or air or just anything, just something'.
He thought for a moment as he stared at the river below, he gave a thoughtful but fun reply back stating "yeah I get that life can be shitty and sometimes it throws heavy stuff at you. Sitting on the edge of a bridge though, in this weather is next level"
You reply quietly with a small smile, "yeah I guess,I just didn't think it'd end up like this though. I just didn't have enough money for meds that could do the trick."
He looked back up at you with a smile but a serious tone as he replied "you know there are people willing to help you out there. It doesn't have to end like this, have you tried talking to people or reaching out?"
You take another long drag and flick the finished cigarette into the water below. You reply with "yes but the people I did reach out to didn't take it seriously though, they thought I was just attention seeking. Therefore talking about it didn't help much."
The blonde nodded responding "I understand but sometimes it's not just about finding a perfect solution right then and there. You do need to take into consideration that you don't need to make a permanent decision based on temporary problems and feelings, you know what I mean?"
You look back at the water taking it into consideration "I guess so"
He speaks again "hey what if you come back to mine so we can get out of this terrible weather, and get you warmed up before you catch a cold."
You turn to him, looking him in the eyes, "really? I would like that" you smiled, he noticed and smiled back at you.
You both stroll to his car and he opens the passenger door for you before he gets into the driver seat
The blonde asked randomly "I never asked you your name"
You replied giving your name and asking what was his.
"that's a beautiful name I'm Joost", you and him chat a bit more as he drives.
you only realized that his car looked familiar, it had been his car that nearly ran you over earlier today.