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Beomgyu has spent a lot of time in Taehyun’s dorm room studying, hanging out, and the occasional night when they stay up too late and Taehyun tells him to just sleep over instead of trudging home. However, he’s never spent time in Taehyun’s bed with his bare ass against the sheets and a comforter covering him from the waist down.
“So… that happened.”
“Yeah. It did.”
Oh god. Beomgyu just had sex with Kang Taehyun. His friend Kang Taehyun. The Kang Taehyun who is now lying naked beside him, arms tucked under his head as he stares up at the ceiling. Painfully, Kang Taehyun is just as hot as ever like this. His muscles glisten with a thin layer of sweat, a faraway look in his eyes that could either be pure bliss or trauma. Beomgyu can’t be sure.
Beomgyu wants so badly to speak, or for Taehyun to just look at him. He needs some cue for what to do next. Does he get dressed and do the walk of shame out? Does he just… linger and allow the awkwardness to fester between them until it becomes so unbearable that he starts trying to make small talk about the weather or Yeonjun’s recent affinity for white button-downs, or anything to distract himself from the fact that Taehyun is still very much naked and on display beside him and Beomgyu doesn’t know if he’s capable of looking respectfully anymore?
He needs Taehyun to do something, anything, before he spirals further.
“We should probably talk about it.” Taehyun says after another beat, still not making eye contact.
Okay. Anything but that.
“Right.” Beomgyu agrees anyway because he knows Taehyun is right. He generally is.
What is there to say really? I’m sorry I practically jumped you when we were studying together, and now we’re both naked, you’ve had your dick up my ass, and we have to live with the consequences of that forever? Yeah, that would go splendidly. Beomgyu cringes to himself.
“Should we put on clothes first?” Beomgyu offers, pulling his eyes away from Taehyun’s abdomen to make sheepish eye contact for the first time since they finished and Taehyun left him with one lingering kiss before collapsing beside him.
Taehyun just raises a brow. “Will that really make a difference at this point?”
“I’m putting on clothes.” Beomgyu states definitively.
If he’s going to be let down easily after a mess of a hookup with his friend, he at least wants some shred of dignity. He does his best to pull the comforter with him to cover his ass as he locates his underwear on the floor.
Unfortunately, with Taehyun still laying atop it, that plan falls to shit very quickly, leaving his ass exposed to Taehyun as he bends over to pick up the discarded fabric.
He turns back around to find Taehyun barely concealing a laugh as he watches Beomgyu attempt to shimmy back into his boxers under the covers. Beomgyu knows he shouldn’t be shy, Taehyun’s already seen everything – hell he’d seen most of it before already – but this situation is different and they both know it. It’s that sudden shift between them that has Beomgyu’s cheeks flushing against his will, and his desire to burrow into the covers and never face Kang Taehyun ever again is stronger than ever.
However, Beomgyu knows he must be brave. He’s the one who made the initial move, and Taehyun deserves an apology for Beomgyu potentially severely complicating their friendship at the very least.
That will be difficult with Taehyun still reclined, bared for all to see, and his big eyes trained on Beomgyu as they stare at each other in silence waiting for the other to speak first. Beomgyu doesn’t know if they’ve ever looked at each other like this, half embarrassed, half something else because they just did that – and Taehyun, admittedly, looks mesmerizing like this, all big eyes blinking with uncertainty and waiting for Beomgyu to say something.
Right. He needs to focus, and naked Taehyun is not helping. Beomgyu gestures at the edge of the blanket and Taehyun’s still exposed body.
“Can you… cover up a bit too?”
Taehyun’s eyes move between his own dick and Beomgyu’s face. Understanding quickly settles in as his mouth opens and closes a few times before he pulls the comforter to cover himself as well. Beomgyu shouldn’t be so disappointed when only Taehyun’s pecs are left on display and the younger rolls on his side to face him. But he needs to focus, and Taehyun lounging nude so casually is decidedly not the way for that to happen.
This is more familiar though. It’s just them, under the covers and facing each other. Beomgyu still very much carries the knowledge that Taehyun is naked not a foot away from him, but it’s easier like this, laying the way they have a dozen times before.
“So…” Taehyun starts. His big eyes are focused only on Beomgyu, imploring him for answers that Beomgyu isn’t sure he has.
“So,” Beomgyu echoes weakly. “We… did that.”
Beomgyu’s such a coward that he can’t even say the actual word. It’s like if he speaks it into the universe, it will be too real. Taehyun will be awkward, and they’ll never go back to cuddling while streaming the random science videos Taehyun loves or Taehyun cooking ramen for him when he’s stressed. One mention of the word sex, and everything Beomgyu loves about them could disappear. But isn't it too late to think about that now? What’s done is done.
“Yup.” Taehyun’s eyes are now trained on the pillow below Beomgyu’s head now, his cheeks probably mirroring Beomgyu’s in their flush. “We’ve established that much.”
“It was… good.” Beomgyu offers, cringing at his own word choice.
Was it good? It was something, that’s for sure. But if it was good, wouldn’t they be able to hold eye contact for more than five seconds at a time now? Wouldn’t the space between them on the mattress not be there and the tension in the air gone?
“Right. Totally decent sex.” Taehyun nods along.
“I mean we both… you know.”
Beomgyu thinks back to only a few minutes ago, to the image of Taehyun above him. He remembers the way Taehyun’s eyes scrunched shut and the whine he let out when he came. That's an image now burned into his memory forever because it was wonderful and so much beyond the fleeting fantasies he’d tried to push out of his mind for months now.
But, he also remembers Taehyun’s immediate panic afterward because Beomgyu was still hard beneath him. And in said panic, he’d been less than gentle when he tried to take Beomgyu in his hand and get him off, causing Beomgyu to yelp and Taehyun to apologize under his breath. Eventually, Beomgyu’s hand joined Taehyun’s and he did get off with Taehyun trying to kiss along his jaw but too gone at that point to do much else than mouth at him aimlessly. It was not exactly the way either of them envisioned things going when they’d so eagerly peeled off each other’s clothes and located the lube and condoms.
“Right.” It seems like Taehyun is replaying that memory in his head as well. His face falling into a grimace.
While the initial move was Beomgyu’s fault, a part of him blames Taehyun. It was Taehyun who missed his mouth with a glass of water and lifted up the bottom of his own t-shirt to dabble along his lips. And it’s Taehyun who spends a frustrating amount of time at the gym to maintain his body while also not falling victim to the complete asshole attitude most gym bros have. It’s Taehyun’s fault for being so damn endearing and hot and such a good friend to Beomgyu that sometimes the elder feels undeserving of all the attention.
It’s Taehyun’s fault for making Beomgyu want him as more than a friend.
Beomgyu already knew all that about Taehyun before today. He knew he harbored a particular fondness for him, but he never thought he would act on it. Beomgyu doesn’t know what came over him, either. They were just studying on the futon like they always do, then Taehyun’s abs activated the flirtatious side of his brain. Worse yet, Taehyun didn’t just brush off his flirting, he flirted right back. He let Beomgyu lean in too close and teasingly brushed his hands along the inside of Beomgyu’s thigh as they pressed closer. They both knew what they were doing, and they both let it happen.
One second, Beomgyu was flirting, the next he was kissing Taehyun. And, most surprising of all, Kang Taehyun was kissing him back. Can he really blame himself for going slightly insane? The rest was a mess of hands gripping new places, and Beomgyu mumbling “bedroom” before Taehyun literally carried him into his room to place him on the bed. That, Beomgyu can admit, was very sexy – a word he’d not let himself associate with Taehyun before today for the sake of his own sanity.
But unlike all the scenarios he’d admittedly imagined, what came after was… fumbly. That’s the best word for it. Not bad, but not great either. It didn’t help that he was a nervous wreck because up until twenty minutes before that, Kang Taehyun was off limits because they’re friends, and then suddenly Taehyun’s mouth was on his stomach, his tongue tracing along the lines of Beomgyu’s hip bones before moving on to his thighs, and that created a whole new level of his brain short-circuiting.
“Friends have sex sometimes, right?” Taehyun asks to the room more than to Beomgyu. He sounds vulnerable, unsure, and Beomgyu doesn’t like it one bit.
“Right.” Beomgyu agrees in the hope that it will ease the nerves he can hear in Taehyun’s voice. Friends can have sex. They can be friends who’ve had sex. Right? “But I don’t know if friendly sex is supposed to be that…”
“Awkward?” Taehyun cuts him off.
It didn’t start off that way. Things were going great; Taehyun is a good kisser, his fingers were nimble, and there was so much thrill in the onset with new skin exposed, new sounds being discovered, and they were on the same page. But then body parts needed to go places, and Beomgyu’s hand had a mind of its own and he accidentally smacked Taehyun in the face when he was just trying to thread it through his hair. Teeth clanked. Beomgyu never thought much about his own feet, but suddenly he didn't know what to do with them. Taehyun fumbled with the lube, and for a very brief horrifying moment, Beomgyu had a flashback to Soobin drunkenly telling him about his first time in detail freshman year. He did not want to think about Soobin of all people with Taehyun above him looking down at him half like he carried the stars in the sky – half gone and half making the same face he’s seen Taehyun sport when he gets too into table tennis matches with Kai.
Beomgyu sighs. “Yeah.”
With the truth out, silence falls between them for a few moments. Beomgyu doesn’t know why a feeling of disappointment settles in his stomach. It could be that he’s compromised his friendship with Taehyun forever. Or, more likely, it’s that Beomgyu finally acted on impulses he’s repressed for months and it’s resulted in disaster – an awkward disaster that he can’t even write off as great sex with a great friend. He never wanted his underlying affection for Taehyun to turn into clipped sentences and the inability to meet each other’s eyes. He never intended to act on those feelings, period.
This isn’t how their friendship should be. This isn’t how anything he’d faintly let himself daydream about prior happening between them to be.
Before Beomgyu can get too down on himself, and possibly beg Taehyun’s forgiveness, Taehyun clears his throat to speak. Beomgyu braces himself for the inevitable let down that he knows is coming. It’s Taehyun though, so Beomgyu can at least trust that he’ll be gentle about it.
“Maybe it’s because we just skipped right to the big part, you know?”
Beomgyu’s head shoots up to look at Taehyun. That wasn’t what he was expecting. His eyes are bright and implying as ever, and it makes Beomgyu even more confused than before.
“Huh?”
“Like, I know you, but I don’t know you that way.” Taehyun sounds so serious, it’s disarming. “And I guess maybe just jumping right into sex without actually knowing what either of us like, or even talking about it, was…”
“A mistake?” Beomgyu offers. He hates the way the word feels on his tongue, and his stomach drops.
“Not a mistake…” Taehyun immediately shakes his head, no. With his head against the pillow like this, the static electricity of his hair rubbing against the fabric is almost as endearing as his next words. “At least, I don’t want it to be a mistake.”
“You don’t?”
“No, I just wish it had happened… differently.”
Beomgyu gets that.
“Like slower?”
Taehyun’s eyes go wide.
“I don’t usually... finish that quickly, I swear.” He groans and rolls over so his face is crushed into the pillow. “Ugh this is so embarrassing.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Beomgyu can’t help but giggle at Taehyun’s panic, the first wave of relief he’s felt since Taehyun pulled out and made his way to the opposite side of the, admittedly small, twin bed. “But really, that’s fine. It’s not like I lasted that long either.”
“It’s just that… it was you I was doing it with and…” Taehyun’s voice comes out so small, still half muffled by the pillow he’s burrowing in.
“It was me?” Beomgyu repeats. He doesn’t want to read too much into Taehyun’s words and get his hopes up, but he can’t help himself. Not with the way Taehyun is sheepishly looking up at him through his lashes.
Taehyun inhales a deep breath – the same kind he uses whenever he’s about to set Soobin straight– before he rolls over enough to try to meet Beomgyu’s eyes.
“Hyung, I don’t know how you see yourself, but you’re basically all of my wet dreams rolled into one human who also happens to be one of my favorite people.”
That, Beomgyu had not expected. Favorite people, maybe – Taehyun has always been good to him. But a wet dream?
“Me?”
“I just… when I imagined it, it never went that way, you know? I mean, you kissing me was already enough… but then we kept kissing and I didn’t get to ask where my hands fit best, what you like…” Taehyun shakes his head, the static of the pillow making his hair all the more disheveled. “If it ever happened, I didn’t think it would happen like that.”
Taehyun looks too vulnerable with the blush on his cheeks, the static of his hair, and the way his eyes are looking anywhere but at Beomgyu. But he gets it; he’s let his mind wander but never once did he think it might actually happen – with a blushing, naked Kang Taehyun calling him a wet dream no less. It’s a lot to take in.
“I thought about it – you – that way, too,” Beomgyu admits. Not just to ease Taehyun’s discomfort, but because Taehyun deserves to know that he wasn’t alone in wanting. Taehyun’s always been so easy to talk to, but even with friends, there are some things that never come up. Attraction being the main one. And maybe they’ve been stressing about the same thing this entire time. Of acting and it not being reciprocated.
Only now they’ve already acted and are literally laid bare. There isn’t much else to hold back.
“We just need more practice. Like warm-ups.”
Of course Taehyun, with all his sports training, would phrase it like that.
“Wait, you want to do that again?” Beomgyu wouldn’t mind kissing or more with Taehyun again but…
“Not that.” Taehyun laughs, and it’s so easy, comfortable, because Taehyun is smiling with a flush still on his cheeks and looking at Beomgyu hopefully. “But maybe another go at it? Like when I’m prepared? You know, for you kissing me on my own futon and how you sound when I kiss your neck.”
It’s now Beomgyu’s turn to roll himself into the covers. “I’m sorry for jumping you like that. Ugh.”
But then, there’s a hand on his cheek – at least the part of his cheek Taehyun can touch. It’s familiar enough for him to peek his eyes out to lock eyes with a Taehyun who looks nothing but sincere – if not a little amused.
“Hyung. I didn’t do anything with you that I didn’t want to do already. Believe me. The only regret here is that I thought, you know, we’d get to go out first. Like a date. Or dates.”
Right. Like maybe some silly adventures out in public, Beomgyu walking Taehyun home, and slow kisses that don’t have to lead to much. Just… having fun and not rushing to the finish.
“So you like me, too?” It’s such a bold question to ask, but Taehyun has already literally been inside of him, so that makes it a bit easier.
“Yes.” Taehyun says it so easily. “Just maybe we need more practice. Nothing is perfect the first time, you know?”
Beomgyu feels himself heating up. Taehyun likes him back, Taehyun wants to take him out on a date, and Taehyun is still naked only a few centimeters away. They can practice. They can get this right.
“You wanna…” Beomgyu tries to collect himself. He’s just been confessed to, essentially, and Taehyun is still naked within arms reach. “Practice more now?”
“Tempting. But I’m tired and I think my ego needs a few hours — days — to recover.”
“Okay, that’s fair.”
“But we could… cuddle? And kiss. If you want. It’s weird with you over there and me over here.” Taehyun gestures as if the space between them is a giant gap. In reality, Beomgyu could easily lean in to kiss his cheek. Which he immediately moves to do because Taehyun wants to kiss him again, Taehyun wants to go on a date, and most importantly, Taehyun doesn’t want to pretend that today didn’t happen.
Beomgyu doesn’t need to answer with words. He lets a breath linger between them before he kisses first, taking Taehyun’s lips between his own and smiling at how easily Taehyun’s hands come to rest on his waist. It’s half glee, half disbelief that pushes him to kiss a bit sweeter this time. No rush to the finish, just Taehyun’s lips against his own because he’s being kissed back. Taehyun wants to kiss him and take him on a date.
“Yeah, we can do that,” Beomgyu finally responds with his hand now on Taehyun’s jaw.
Taehyun laughs between kisses before scooting closer under the blankets. “My dick is going to touch your thigh though.”
“I’m okay with that.”
“And a date tomorrow?” Taehyun asks, hopefully.
“Definitely.”
There’s no rush, Beomgyu thinks as he meets Taehyun halfway with his lips in a now more familiar kiss. Things don’t have to be perfect from the onset, but they’ll get there. One kiss, date, and hand reaching for his own, at a time.