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Throbbing pain from his head was the first thing that greeted Keegan as he slowly regained consciousness. He groaned, trying to push through the haze of disorientation to make sense of his surroundings. As reality returned to him, he realized he was lying on the ground, trapped under twisted metal. Keegan could barely make out the surrounding wreckage through the thick smoke, illuminated occasionally by flashes of orange and red from the fire. He could see twisted metal and broken glass scattered everywhere, and the shape of the helicopter just a few feet away from him. Keegan tried to move, but an intense pain shot through his leg, causing him to freeze in place. Fuck, he thought, as he struggled to remember how he ended up in this situation. The clouds had been far darker than anything expected from the radar when they set out, and he remembered the strong wind that buffeted the helicopter. After that, he was drawing a blank.
The only sound he could hear was the ringing in his ears from the impact of the crash. The silence around him was deafening, making his blood run cold as it hit him that he had not been alone in the helicopter, and yet there was no sign of anyone else. Keegan grit his teeth and forced himself upright. His vision swam, and he had to slam his eyes shut as a wave of nausea and dizziness hit him. Breathe. He had to breathe through this. There wasn’t time to wait for help; he had no idea what state Elias would be in. Keegan's entire body was shaking as he pushed himself upright. His arms strained as he lifted the sheet of metal, feeling the weight and sharp edges digging into his skin. The odd way his right leg was bent confirmed his fear, and when he tried to push off the ground, he crumpled back down at the agony that shot through him. Standing wasn’t an option.
He desperately needed to make a plan. His first priority was to ensure that their distress signal had been sent out. Keegan frantically searched through his supplies for his radio, but when he switched it on, all he got was static. He could only hope that the helicopter's built-in signal had worked properly. With that out of the way, it was time to find his captain. Elias had been seated next to him in the cockpit, so he couldn't have gone far. Despite the excruciating pain in his leg, Keegan dragged himself across the ground around what remained of the main body of the helicopter. His jacket offered some protection from the debris scattered around them, but it was already starting to tear apart from the blanket of glass and metal that coated the ground. He heard Elias before he saw him; the sound of ragged, pained breathing that wasn’t his own leading Keegan to where the other man had fallen in their crash.
“Elias!” Keegan called out, his broken leg slowing him down as he climbed through the wreckage.
The sight that greeted him knocked what little breath he had out of him. Elias was sprawled on his back, his chest rising and falling in short, pained bursts. His jacket was stained dark with a growing dampness. Keegan’s eyes followed the trail of blood until he found the source of it. A piece of metal jutted out through Elias’ stomach, piercing through skin on the side furthest from Keegan.
A sense of panic and helplessness washed over Keegan as he crawled closer to Elias. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he reached out a shaky hand to touch his captain's shoulder.
“Elias,” he called again, hoping for some sort of response. But there was none, just the ragged sound of strained breathing. Keegan tapped him harder, desperate for any sort of response. “Elias, can you hear me?”
His eyes flew open, and he turned his head to face Keegan. He had a glazed, far-off expression, as if he wasn't really seeing Keegan. “How… how bad is it?”
Keegan bit back a response, looking over Elias. If he tried to pull him off the sharp metal jutting out of him, Elias would bleed out long before anyone else could arrive. The only option they had was to wait and hope the other Ghosts would arrive quickly, but the words to explain it failed him. “Help should be on the way. Kick was watching our signal; he’ll send the others to come get us. Just a little longer.”
“That bad, huh?” Elias asked, his voice weak. His face was paler than Keegan had ever seen. Tremors wracked his body, and his eyes started to close.
“Hey!” Keegan reached out, roughly tapping his fingers against Elias’ cheek. “Eyes open. You can’t go to sleep, not yet.”
“I’m not sleeping.” Elias managed to open his eyes again, but each blink looked to be a fight to prevent them from staying closed.
Keegan's head ached in sympathy, and his own eyes were struggling to stay open. “Talk to me. About something, anything. Like your sons. You mentioned they're doing well by the wall.” Keegan rested his forehead against the cold metal below him, fighting the urge to close his eyes.
“You need to stay awake too,” Elias reminded him, but his voice sounded distant and strained. “Don’t fall asleep, Keegan.”
A sharp, icy wave of fear washed over Keegan as his eyes fluttered open. He wasn't supposed to sleep, he needed to keep Elias awake, needed to make sure that he wasn’t… Keegan needed to make sure that Elias would be fine.
His heart raced as he sat up in the hospital bed, the machines around him beeping wildly in warning. The room was eerily quiet and empty, save for Keegan's frantic movements. Panic coursed through his veins - where was Elias? Did anyone come in time to help him? The stark white walls seemed to close in on him as he desperately tried to figure out how to remove all the cables attached to his body.
“Keegan!”
He whipped his head around towards the door as it flung open. Merrick wasted no time, moving quickly to where Keegan was struggling with the cords and wires tangled around him. "What are you doing? Lay back down," Merrick commanded.
“Elias? Where's Elias? Did you find him?” Keegan desperately grabbed for Merrick, refusing to be pushed back down easily.
“Keegan…” Merrick trailed off. The silence spoke volumes. Sound thundered in Keegan's ears to fill the void as his throat closed up.
“Where is he, Merrick?”
Merrick took a deep breath and glanced away. “We brought you both back. But you need to lay down, rest up. You were in bad shape when we found you.”
“Let me see him.” Keegan watched as Merrick's jaw clenched at Keegan's demand. “Merrick. Take me to see him.”
“I don't think that's a good idea right now. Not in your condition –”
“Stop bullshiting me!” Keegan snapped. The beeps from the monitor picked up again, his heart beating a mile a minute. “Where is he?”
“Dead.” Merrick finally looked at Keegan again, and the stark, dark circles under his eyes told Keegan the truth of it. “He was dead when we arrived. There was nothing we could do. His body –” Merrick choked on the word, his face spasming in pain, “– he's in another room.”
The fight drained from Keegan, exhaustion replacing the fire in his veins as any energy he had faded into nothing. “He's gone?”
“Yes.”
Elias was gone. Dead. And Keegan had been the last one to see him. He hadn't even been able to comfort or hold Elias as he died. He had passed out, useless next to the man who had given everything for this team. There had been no battle, no flames of glory. He was just gone.
“Please.” His voice broke on the word. “Can you take me to see him?”
“Alright.” Merrick’s voice was soft as he gave in. “Let me get the nurse to unhook all of this.”
The nurse had frowned at the request, but removed the various cords connected to the monitoring devices. Merrick lifted Keegan out of the bed and placed him in a wheelchair the nurse rolled into the room for them. The hospital corridor seemed to stretch on for eternity, with its cold, sterile walls and the flickering fluorescent lights casting a ghostly glow over the scene. Keegan couldn't take his eyes off the floor, as if the monotonous pattern of white tiles would provide him some sort of solace as Merrick rolled him through the halls.
The room they arrived at was just like all the others. There was no indication that this was where Elias was being kept. Keegan grasped the sides of the wheelchair tightly, attempting to steady his trembling hands.
“Are you sure?” Merrick asked before opening the door. “You don't have to do this, Keegan. It might be better for you to get some more rest first.”
“No,” Keegan said. “I need to see him.”
As soon as Merrick opened the door, Keegan made his way inside by pushing the wheels on his chair. A wave of cold air hit him as he entered, a stark contrast to the warmth of the hallway. He couldn't stop shivering, but he refused to let the chill deter him. In the center of the room, there was a table with a large object hidden under a sheet. Keegan's heart skipped a beat, and his throat felt dry. Despite a nagging feeling to turn back, he approached the table slowly. His hands shook as he reached for the edge of the sheet and pulled it away to reveal the figure beneath.
Seeing Elias like this was worse somehow than when Keegan had found him during the crash. His chest was too still, his skin sickly and pale. The injury in his side had been covered, but even without that, other reminders of the crash were visible. Someone had cleaned off all the blood from the numerous cuts brought on by all the broken glass. Keegan looked away, trying to breathe. Why did he come here?
Merrick put a hand on his shoulder, offering silent reassurance, while Keegan tried to find the strength to look at Elias again.
“It shouldn't have been him,” Keegan finally spoke, his words flat.
“Hey.” Merrick’s voice carried a weight of command to it that had Keegan straightening up. “It was an accident. There was nothing that could be done.”
Keegan shook his head, tears stinging his eyes. “I should have been there for him. I should have done something.”
“You were injured too,” Merrick pointed out gently.
“It doesn't matter,” Keegan muttered bitterly. “He deserved better than this.”
Merrick fell silent at that. He stood beside Keegan for another moment before speaking again. “I’ll give you a moment alone with him. I will be right outside when you’re done.”
Alone with Elias' body, Keegan allowed himself a moment to grieve for his fallen friend. The tears started flowing freely down his cheeks as memories flooded his mind – memories of their first mess of a mission together, the numerous training sessions, of all the times Elias had talked about his family and listened to stories about Keegan’s in return. Elias had been there for almost all of Keegan’s military career and had guided him through it all. And what had Keegan given in return? He hadn’t even comforted the man in his final moments. Keegan had failed his captain.
He reached out and took Elias' cold hand in his own, wishing he could feel just a flicker of warmth there. But there was nothing - just a lifeless shell that used to house the man that had been the heart of their team.
Keegan wasn't sure how long he stayed there holding onto Elias’ hand, but the dull ache in his leg began to intensify as the painkillers wore off. He gently placed Elias' hand back down and pulled the sheet over him. With a heavy heart, he turned away and wheeled himself towards the door. He forced himself to keep looking straight ahead; if he looked back, he feared he wouldn't have the strength to leave.
True to his word, Merrick was still waiting outside for him. It took a moment for Merrick to straighten up from the chair where he had been slumped over, keeping an eye on the room. Keegan couldn't help but wonder when the last time Merrick had gotten any sleep was. The dark circles under his eyes indicated that it wasn’t anytime recently.
“Do you want me to push you back?” Merrick asked, stretching before he stood. He waited for Keegan's nod before starting to move his wheelchair back down the hall. “Was that… Did it help?”
Keegan slumped down in the wheelchair and bit his lip to hold back a grimace as his leg was jostled. “I don't know.” He paused, misery threatening to choke him as his throat tightened. “But thanks for taking me.”
“You don’t need to thank me.”
They arrived back to Keegan’s room, and Keegan reluctantly accepted Merrick’s assistance once he realized maneuvering from the chair to the bed was beyond him. Merrick lifted him with ease and settled him back into place. He looked as though he was fighting the urge to fuss over Keegan, and it brought no small amount of relief to Keegan when Merrick instead busied himself getting the chair out of the way instead.
“When am I getting out of here?” Keegan asked.
“They want to keep you for a few days.” At Merrick’s words, Keegan started to sit up to protest. Merrick held up a hand, cutting off whatever Keegan was about to say. “But the rest of us are heading out soon. I assumed you would prefer to go, and I’ll allow it with a few conditions. You will rest. No work at all for a week once we return to base, and you’re on desk duty until you’re fully recovered.”
Keegan blinked. “You’re leaving already? Did we find another lead?”
Merrick shook his head. “We’re heading for Fort Santa Monica. The funeral will be held there, since it’s as close as we can get to Elias’ home. And his boys are stationed over there.”
His boys. Keegan hadn’t even begun to consider that they would have to tell Elias’ sons. Vague images of them flashed in his mind from the old photos Elias had occasionally shown off. They were still so young, and Keegan’s heart ached imagining having to deliver the news. “Who is going to tell them? Their commander?”
“I will tell them,” Merrick said. “It’s my responsibility. I already have a meeting scheduled with them tonight, not long after we are planning to arrive.”
“Alone?”
Merrick shrugged. “Again, I owe it to them. I’m not going to drag anyone else into it. They’ll want answers that we can’t give, and I won’t blame them if it sets them off. I can handle it.”
“I should be there,” Keegan said, meeting Merrick’s eyes. “I was the one – I was there when it happened. So I should be there when you tell them.”
“If that’s what you want. But don’t feel forced. I can handle it.”
Keegan glanced down, but his decision was made. He needed to be there. “When do we leave?”
“I’ll get the nurse. As soon as they say you’re ready to be moved, we’ll head out. Everyone else is prepared to move already,” Merrick said.
The nurses and doctor all seemed displeased when bustling in and out of Keegan’s room, but there was no direct protesting. A few things were said to strongly suggest he should remain here for the time being, but Keegan ignored all of it. He refused to entertain the idea of missing Elias’ funeral. Even learning they would travel by plane wasn’t going to stop him, though a spike of anxiety twisted inside him at the thought. Merrick noticed, and after a whispered conversation with the doctor, Keegan was provided a dose of sedatives to knock him out for the flight. He barely remembered their trip to the plane, and when he next awoke, it was to Kick shaking him out of his slumber.
Ignoring the obvious displeasure in his teammates’ expressions, Keegan opted for the crutches over the wheelchair. He did compromise on carrying his own bag – it wasn’t exactly practical and would make his already shaky balance even worse. Neptune and Kick each doubled up on a bag and headed out, while Keegan was left to try to keep up with Merrick. To his credit, Merrick was walking much slower than normal, but even that pace was proving a challenge to navigate on the crutches.
They walked in silence towards one of the larger buildings on the base. The usual flurry of activity on a base this size felt so foreign to Keegan after spending years with their small team. He hadn’t missed needing to dodge numerous people rushing around; at least most people moved around him once they noticed his leg. The room they eventually arrived in appeared to be a small conference room, with one large table taking up most of the space and a number of chairs scattered around it. Several men were already inside when they entered, all turning to look at the new arrivals.
All three stood up, and Keegan glanced between them, surprised to see a colonel personally speaking with who Keegan assumed were the Walker boys. “Captain. Glad to see you made it alright.” He and Merrick shook hands. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”
He departed, leaving Keegan and Merrick to find their seats opposite the two men. Merrick waved for them to sit, and waited for them to do so before speaking.
“I’m Captain Merrick,” Merrick began, and Keegan wondered if the boys noticed the way Merrick's voice tightened on the title. “I'm here to talk to you about Elias Walker.”
“Dad?” The one with buzzed hair spoke first, and Keegan thought he remembered he went by Hesh. “How do you know our dad?”
“Well…” Merrick hesitated, looking for words to explain without saying too much. “We worked together for many years, and he led our team for the past several years.”
The other son – Logan, if Keegan's memory was correct – met Keegan's gaze. His eyes bore into Keegan, a hard, knowing glint behind that look. “How did it happen?”
“That's classified. Sorry, kid,” Keegan said. Their interaction interrupted Merrick and Hesh's awkward conversation, both turning to look at Keegan.
“How what happened?” Hesh demanded, his eyes flicking between all three of them. “What are you talking about?”
“During an operation, Captain Walker sustained serious injuries. He was unable to recover from them,” Merrick said. “I’m sorry.”
Keegan wanted to rage at the ridiculousness of the statement. Watching both of the Walker boys trying to process this information made him want to scream out the entire story. They deserve to know, his mind howled, thoughts churning while silence claimed the room.
Hesh slammed his fist down on the table. “Are you fucking with us? There's no way Dad is dead. This isn't funny.”
“David,” Logan said quietly, reaching for Hesh.
“No, we’re not ‘fucking with you’. I'm sorry, but the truth of it is, your father is dead. We will be holding his funeral here tomorrow,” Merrick said. Even though he didn't raise his voice, the sternness of it commanded attention. “We wanted to give you the respect of being informed in private before this became public information. After everything Elias did for us, it was my responsibility to bring you the news.”
“You can go fu-”
There was a thump and Hesh winced, the words cut off. Logan spoke up instead. “We appreciate that you came all this way to inform us yourself, Captain Merrick. But I think we need some time to process this.”
Merrick nodded. “Of course, it's understandable, given the circumstances. You're dismissed.”
As the two men rose from their seats, Keegan and Merrick exchanged a tense gaze. Keegan’s mind was racing, his thoughts a whirlwind of emotions and doubts. He knew that they had to keep the truth hidden from Logan and Hesh for their own safety, but the thought of them leaving here, forever stuck wondering the truth, ate at him.
The Walker boys left the room, and Keegan could hear their muffled voices down the hallway. He looked at Merrick, the tension between them palpable.
“We should have told them,” Keegan muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.
Merrick sighed, rubbing his temples with his fingers. “I know. But any information at all could put them and us in jeopardy. I won’t risk our team to answer their questions. Elias didn’t think they were ready to join us, and after hearing about their father’s death, I doubt they will be ready for some time. If ever.”
Keegan clenched his jaw, frustration boiling inside him. “We need to tell them eventually,” he said, glancing back at the doorway where the Walkers had disappeared. “Elias always intended for them to join us; he wouldn’t want them stuck on wall duty for the rest of their lives.”
Merrick studied him for a moment before nodding. “You’re right,” he said. “But for now, our focus needs to be on the funeral and grieving with the rest of the team. What comes next can be discussed after.”
The next day, the base was blanketed in a somber atmosphere. The Ghosts were quiet, exchanging only a handful of words as sorrow weighed heavily upon them. Everything moved quickly. Before the war, Keegan remembered funerals for service members being big productions that took several days to prepare. But circumstances forced quicker turnarounds. Nothing they could set up would measure up to the man they were going to bury.
Every soldier not performing a necessary task was there, bearing witness to the procession of the casket through the large yard. It was placed down in front of the silent crowd. On one side, the Ghosts stood in line, Keegan doing his best to stand at attention without putting an unbearable amount of weight on his leg. Opposite them stood Logan, whose blank mask was impossible to read, and Hesh, who looked as though he wasn’t sure whether to cry or fight. The formal, impersonal words spoken over the casket slid in one ear and out the other, the entire thing dragging by.
As the final note of “Taps” echoed through the air, Keegan couldn't hold back the tear that slid down his cheek. Memories threatened to overwhelm him, each one more painful than the last. Elias had given Keegan a chance when so many others had dismissed him, and he was never going to get the chance to repay that. Everything would be different now in their team, a hole that couldn’t quite be filled. Hesh accepted the memorial flag for their dad, his face blotchy and eyes rimmed red. People began to drift away as the ceremony concluded, returning to their jobs and lives. The Ghosts were some of the last to leave, and even then, Keegan remained, unable to bring himself to move. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned to see Logan standing beside him. Logan offered Keegan’s crutches to him, and Keegan took them gratefully, allowing himself to appreciate the relief of supporting himself without his injured leg.
“You were close to him,” Logan said softly, looking up at Keegan.
“He was a good man,” Keegan started, but he stopped himself. Empty platitudes wouldn’t help either of them. “Even beyond him being a good leader for the last few years, Elias was my mentor. Without him, I wouldn’t be half the person I am today.” He sighed, turning away from the memorial stand and slowly moving away. Logan matched his pace in silence, clearly waiting for Keegan to speak again. “It can’t compare to your loss, of course.”
Logan shook his head, his expression turning almost bitter. “I think you probably knew him better than I did. Dad was gone a lot. I guess your team kept him busy, doing whatever it is that’s so secret. He was great when he was there for us, but…” Logan shrugged. “The military came first.”
Something almost like guilt crept up, but Keegan shook it off. It wasn’t as though it was his fault Elias had spent so much time away. “He talked about you and your brother a lot. Always kept us updated on how you were doing in school, and when you both joined the military, he was so proud of the two of you.”
“Would have been nice to hear that from him, then. He wasn’t exactly free in his praise.” Logan snorted. “Sorry. I didn’t want to talk to you to dump my problems on you. I wanted to know if you would tell me what happened. Not specifics, I know you can’t. But I saw your face in there. You didn’t agree with Captain Merrick keeping it from us. And -” Logan choked on the words. “Knowing how it happened might help.”
“Kid -”
“I’m not a kid,” Logan snapped. “I deserve to know. Wouldn’t you want answers, if you were in my position?”
They came to a stop, their steps having taken them wandering towards the edge of the base. Keegan leaned against the wall heavily. “It was an accident.”
Logan was staring at him, tilting his head. When Keegan didn’t speak again, he asked, “What kind of accident?”
Keegan took a deep breath, debating his next words. Merrick would kill him if he ever found out Keegan had let anything slip, but what was the harm in telling the kid? “Our helicopter went down. Elias didn’t make it.” Straight to the point. No details, no elaboration. He wouldn’t be able to figure out their mission based on that little amount of information.
Logan’s eyes dropped to Keegan’s leg as he put the pieces together. “You were with him.”
“I was.”
“Shit… I’m sorry.” Logan looked down. “Thank you, for telling me and for bringing him back.”
“You should talk to Merrick,” Keegan said. That had Logan lifting his head to look at Keegan again, his eyebrows furrowed. “If you’re as good as your dad told us, we could use you on our team. It was what Elias always wanted for you.”
The unreadable, blank expression was back on Logan’s face, and Keegan was worried he had said the wrong thing when the silence stretched out for too long. But Logan eventually nodded slowly. “I think I will speak to him, actually. Do you know where I might find him?”
“They have us in the temporary rooms; he probably went back there. I’m not sure when we are leaving, so don’t leave it for too long,” Keegan said. He pushed off the wall. “I hope I’ll see you again.”
Logan gave him a wry smile. “Well, I guess that will depend on what Captain Merrick says. Do you need help getting back?”
Keegan resisted the urge to snap. He’s just trying to help. “Nope. I’m good.”
With a nod, Logan turned to leave, and Keegan watched after him until he could no longer see the younger man. He sighed, and began working his way back to their rooms. The idea of getting some rest and painkillers was more tempting than continuing to avoid going back inside. He was able to dodge all of his teammates as each was mostly keeping to themselves, and found exhaustion dragging him into an early rest.
The next morning, Merrick called them all in for a meeting. It was a tight fit for all of them to jam into one of the temporary rooms, but they managed to make it work. Merrick stood in front of them, his expression drawn. “Now, to start, we’re going to head back to our base first thing tomorrow morning. It was the earliest I could secure a vehicle for us. We’ll head out at six hundred hours. Don’t be late.” He threw a meaningful glare at Kick, and the man rolled his eyes at the callout. “In other news, we have two new recruits. David and Logan Walker will be joining us.”
Keegan straightened up at the news. He had been uncertain if Merrick would agree to allow the boys to join so quickly. Merrick opened the door to let in Logan and Hesh, both of them greeting the rest of the team as they entered. The briefing continued for a bit but remained short as they had little new information. Merrick dismissed them, and Keegan went to stand, but Logan got there first.
“Well, guess you’re coming with us,” Keegan said.
Logan nodded. There was a hint of a smile on his lips, but it was overshadowed by the tenseness in the rest of his face. “I’m looking forward to working with you.”
Kick shoved his way in, throwing an arm over Logan. “Welcome to the team! Don’t let Keegan trick you; we’re not all that boring. Come on, let me introduce you to everyone.”
There wasn’t a chance to say anything else as Kick dragged Logan away to meet the handful of remaining Ghosts. A smile tugged at Keegan’s mouth as he watched Kick’s enthusiasm with the two newest members of their team. Maybe it wasn’t the way Keegan would have chosen to gain new members, but he had a good feeling about this.