Chapter Text
Lego, Karkat was rapidly discovering, was a curse. He’d owned a set or two as a kid, none of which had ever seen completion before his eight year old attention span had demanded more immediate gratification. That exact lack of dedicated interest was probably the reason he didn’t remember just how much pain and chaos an errant plastic brick could cause.
“Oh for-! Fucking… Fucks sake.” Staggering the last couple of paces to the kitchen counter, Karkat leaned against it to awkwardly inspect the afflicted foot for any damage from the plastic caltrop.
“You shouldn’t swear around me. I’m nine.” A pair of brown eyes stared at him reproachfully from the door to the dining room. Their owner, clad in a plain red sweatshirt and a pair of Bluey patterned pajama pants, primly tipped his chin up in a challenge and sniffed disapprovingly.
Deciding that a severe building brick related injury had been avoided for now, Karkat stooped to collect the offending piece of plastic off the floor before straightening up to face his little brother.
“Do you want to make it to ten?” Exhaustion was etched into Karkat’s voice deeper than he’d expected it to be, but if Kankri had yet developed the required empathy to pick up on that then he wasn’t letting it faze him. Instead he gave a world weary sigh before padding into the kitchen and pulling himself up to sit at the kitchen island. As he made himself comfortable on one of the high stools ─ hands folded on the counter in front of him, posture pin straight and perfect ─ Karkat couldn’t help but picture him as a fussy little clerk, complete with tiny pressed suit and tie.
How he’d ended up such a little square given their shared genepool and upbringing was one of the many wonders of the world. Maybe he just hadn’t had enough time around their father to properly soak up the vibes.
“I don’t know dude, grief does weird stuff to you sometimes.” John, rarely a font of wisdom, had nevertheless provided this increasingly relevant food for thought a good year and a half before their father’s passing, whilst talking about his own family misfortunes. Apparently the loss of Nana Egbert had hit John’s Dad hard, inspiring him to fake an elaborate career as a street performer and fill the family home with jester based decor until John was thirteen. Karkat didn’t know if he’d have preferred clowns over early onset accountancy, but maybe Kankri would have been an outwardly happier kid at the very least.
“You put the cups away in the tall cupboard again, I can’t reach them. I’m thirsty.”
Karkat put the brick down deliberately on the counter in front of his kid brother, the plastic clicking against the hard surface.
“Fine. Okay. Pick your shit up in future though, I almost slipped and fucking died on this thing no thanks to you.” Karkat hid his inward cringe at his own poor choice of words in the action of turning to get a cup down and fill it at the sink, although not before catching the way Kankri’s eyes widened in momentary shock. Neither brother addressed it, opting instead for tense silence.
Karkat placed the chewed plastic cup (His own childhood work, rather than Kankri’s) down beside the still untouched eight-brick, carefully not meeting Kankri’s downcast eyes.
“Drink your water, and then bed, yeah?”
“I’m not tired.”
“Don’t care. It’s your bedtime.” Kankri offered nothing but a sulking pout in response. Patience now truly tested, Karkat threw his hands in the air and continued “If you don’t go to bed then the King of the Goblins will fucking steal you. Now drink your water and go the fuck to sleep.” After heaving a sigh, Karkat offered an additional, brittle “Please.”
“You’re so mean!” Kankri slid off the stool, leaving his half drunk cup of water abandoned on the counter, his little fists balled in anger. “You threatened me! Dad would never have threatened me, he was nice. You’re never nice. You’re probably evil, like a villain from TV or something. Like a- a- like an evil stepmother, except worse because you’re my brother!”
“Actually, that was something Dad used to say to make me go to bed when I was being half as much of a little shit as you are.” Fuming, Karkat forced himself to keep his voice from rising to a shout, arms crossed tightly over his chest. “You didn’t know him. You had him for seven years, most of which you were barely a sentient creature, so don’t pull that shit with me. Go the fuck to bed. Now.”
Silence hung in the air between them, charged and vibrant. Kankri’s glare met Karkat’s flat, perpetually pissed off expression, neither wavering. Finally, Kankri’s undeveloped angry stamina reserves ran out, offering a final stomp of the foot as a last ditch effort.
“Fine then!” Seething, angry tears threatening to fall at any moment, Kankri stormed out of the room. Karkat listened to his heavy foot falls traverse through the house, all the way to his bedroom upstairs, which culminated in an impressive door slam that shook the house.
As Karkat closed his eyes to focus on regulating his breathing, his phone buzzed incessantly in his pocket. Welcoming the distraction, he pushed his complicated mess of feelings to one side and pulled it out to check the notification.
turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 20:21
TG: so uh
TG: im going to keep pretending that im asking for help with this quest because wow how else am i meant to get your attention
TG: youve proven so resistant to my natural charms its like youve got some kind of anti charm protection shit going on
TG: like those burglar alarms middle class families get installed that call the fuzz if anyone who doesnt meet the respectable quota tries to set foot on the property
TG: sirens blaring lights flashing dogs barking in the yard
TG: yes officer thats the man who tried to knock on my door to ask for a cup of sugar
TG: we have been a sugar free household since 2009 because we wouldnt want little timmy to grow up an addict to the devils sweetener
TG: it comes from plants you know and you know what else comes from plants
TG: the devils lettuce
TG: hes taking over our grocery stores one by one and this man looks like the only club card in his wallet is marked with the number of the beast
TG: please take him off of my property and back to where ever it is they put the working class these days
TG: absolutely disgraceful he doesnt even have an opinion on wine
TG: except instead of a wife with 2.5 kids and a husband whos only personality trait is the color of the tie he picked out that morning youre like
TG: either super oblivious
TG: secretly homophobic as fuck even though i have sources that tell me youre bi and have dated dudes before
TG: or equipped with the heftiest anti charm measures that wizard money can buy
TG: like forget evil eyes and shit were talking industrial grade anti magic protections that all those satanic panic white moms could only dream of
TG: damn i must have moms on the brain today
TG: anyway
TG: …
TG: sup
Smiling despite the chasm in his chest, Karkat took up residence in Kankri’s vacated spot at the kitchen island to tap out his reply.
Sollux, one of his oldest and closest friends, had managed to wrangle him into one of his long standing MMORPGs during the year after his father had died, claiming that he could use the structure. Much to his overburdened chagrin, he’d been right, and the near daily multi hour gaming sessions had been a much needed lifeline for which he was still thankful. Karkat had met Turntech a little over two years ago on a particularly annoying raid, during which the latter’s ridiculous cat boy avatar had pissed off Karkat enough to somehow flip back around into friendship.
CG: OKAY, FIRST OF ALL I’M NOT READING ALL OF THAT
CG: SECONDLY, NOTHING MUCH. MY KID BROTHER WAS BEING A LITTLE ASSHOLE BUT THAT’S JUST ANOTHER DAY THAT ENDS IN Y.
CG: HE LOVES RULES RIGHT UP UNTIL THEY ALSO APPLY TO HIM, WHICH IS A GREAT THING TO DEAL WITH AT 8PM AFTER A FULL DAY AT WORK PUTTING UP WITH TA AND HIS SHIT.
CG: SO YEAH, I’M FUCKING PEACHY. YOU?
TG: i forgot you work together irl
TG: what is it you do again or is that need to know only
CG: WE WORK AT A GAME STORE IN THE MOST ANNOYING MALL IN THE WORLD.
CG: HE’S USUALLY IN THE BACK HANDLING ALL THE PREOWNED CONSOLE CLEAN UP, BUT SOMETIMES I DRAG HIM OUT ONTO THE FLOOR WITH ME TO SUFFER, WHICH IS BASICALLY YOUR MAIN PURPOSE WORKING IN RETAIL.
CG: IF IT’S NOT THE FUCKING CUSTOMERS IT’S OUR ASSMUNCH STONER OF A COWORKER WHO IS UNFORTUNATELY ALSO A FRIEND OF MINE.
TG: assmunch you say
TG: is this an experience based insult or
CG: NO COMMENT.
TG: so yes then
CG: I’M SURPRISED SCIENTISTS HAVEN’T PUT YOUR BRAIN IN A PETRI DISH FOR STUDY UNDER A MICROSCOPE. EVERY BRAIN CELL MIRACULOUSLY SHAPED LIKE A COCK AND BALLS, INTRICATELY INTERTWINED TO MAKE A TAPESTRY OF PHALLIC FANTASY THAT COULD PUT PORNHUB TO SHAME.
TG: please thats so generic
TG: i could do so much better than pornhub
CG: A DEMONSTRATION ISN’T NECESSARY. PUT THE PENIS DOWN AND LEAVE IT SO FAR OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION THAT IT STARTS ORBITING MARS. THANKS BUT NO THANKS.
TG: aw sweet of you to think im that big
CG: STOP TALKING
TG: i mean not to sell myself short or anything
TG: keep sweet talking me and ill see about putting a new crater in the moon for you but mars is pushing it
CG: ALRIGHT THAT’S IT, YOU’RE GETTING BLOCKED.
TG: just like that
TG: holy shit man thats cold
CG: FUCK YOU.
TG: i mean
CG: WHAT DO YOU DO ANYWAY? FOR WORK I MEAN.
A thump drew his attention away from his phone, lines of red text loading up on his screen in quick succession as he scowled at the ceiling. Kankri could wear anger well, as was his birthright, but he wasn’t usually the kind of kid to throw things around his room in a tantrum. Karkat strained to listen for any more disruption that might indicate a problem that needed his attention, but the house remained quiet and uneventful.
TG: youre not gonna believe this
TG: but im a professional fairy
TG: i just got so good at being gay that i didnt even need to put in my 100 hours sucking dick to be fully qualified
TG: because usually its like hairdressing
TG: any chump can cut hair but to be a trusted professional youve got to put in the hours to prove youre the business
TG: a lot of unlicensed queers out there without the job protection me and my fellow card holders are enjoying
TG: but i was so good they didnt even ask me to take the exam just handed me the card tears in their eyes
TG: never had the board seen a dick sucked so successfully so artful was my technique
TG: a true innovator ahead of my time
TG: the general populace arent going to see this level of fellatio until the year 3049
TG: science so advanced it felt like magic to them
TG: it was like showing a working lightbulb to a peasant from the 1300s
TG: and thats how i earned my card my wings and my glitter encrusted tutu
CG: ALRIGHT DON’T FUCKING TELL ME THEN, ASSHOLE.
CG: DID YOUR PARENTS EVER HIT YOU WITH THE THREAT OF BEING FUCKING KIDNAPPED BY GOBLINS IF YOU DIDN’T GOT TO BED ON TIME?
CG: MY DAD USED TO USE THAT AS STANDARD BUT I GUESS I JUST REALIZED MAYBE HE WAS AN OUTLIER.
TG: oh sure
TG: that shit actually happened to me though
TG: goblins were promised so goblins i fucking got
TG: bro always delivered without fail
TG: neverending goblins over here
TG: little tg up to his eyeballs in goblins in the same way other kids got bedtime stories
Another thump, louder and more urgent, sounded from upstairs. Pocketing his phone as he went, Karkat ran to the bottom of the stairs, pausing for a moment to listen for any sounds of crying or distress.
Nothing.
“Kankri?” Leaning into the handrail to project his voice up the stairs, Karkat shouted after his brother, worry creeping in faster than he’d like to admit.
Still nothing.
Heading up the stairs at a jog, heart in his throat, Karkat made his way to Kankri’s bedroom only to find the door cracked open. The room beyond was dark, bathed in evening shadows and the dim glow of the night light. A faint breeze brushed past him, curling around him in chill tendrils that raised gooseflesh in their wake.
“Kankri?” Swallowing his thundering pulse, he pushed forward into the room, every worst case scenario playing in technicolour horror across the inside of his skull.
The window was open wide, soft blue curtains rippling in the tranquil rhythm of the breeze as it sighed through the room, neat and surreal against the figure standing silhouetted against the moonlight.
So ethereally pale that he seemed to be glowing in the dim light, framed in a cape of faintly iridescent white feathers, stood a man as captivatingly strange as he was threatening. The energy he emitted was similar to that of a distant star ─ coldly beautiful, but laced with an unignorable sense of the uncanny and unknown. His eyes were obscured behind a pair of obsidian dark glasses that reflected the gentle glow of the night light without capturing any of its warmth or safety.
Cradled in his arms, seemingly asleep, was Kankri.
Words and details alike ceased to hold any importance as Karkat’s hand closed around the first solid object in grasping range. His feet moved, brain calculating the strike on automatic as every scrap of self defence he’d ever learned scrambled to be heard behind the roar of pure adrenaline and rage.
He barely made it three feet before a strange force sent him flying backwards as if he were a stuntman on wires, throwing him into the door so it slammed, and pinning him.
“Listen, points for trying to beat the shit out of me with a plastic shark as a first resort, but no.” The pale stranger tilted his head to the side, regarding his would-be attacker with a disquieting curiosity. His voice was unexpectedly normal, deep and masculine with a smooth quality that accentuated his natural drawl. The effect in juxtaposition to his unnatural appearance was unsettling.
“Put my brother down you feral Renfaire freak, or I swear to whatever’s listening I─” Snarling, Karkat tugged against the force keeping him pinned, heart hammering in his chest like a frightened rabbit’s.
“That would be me.” The stranger interrupted, adjusting Kankri in his arms to tuck him against his chest more securely as he spoke.
“What?”
“Whatever is listening; that would be me. You did tell him, didn’t you? That if he didn’t go to bed then the King of the Goblins would steal him away? I don’t remember verbatim, but something to that effect. I may have missed a ‘fuck’ or fifteen, but to be fair you use them like punctuation and it’s hard to keep track of them all.”
Maybe he was dazed after being slammed into the door, but Karkat was having a hard time keeping up with the situation. The whiplash of the last half hour was starting to set in, and the emotional journey from tired and frustrated, through guilt, distress, fond exasperation, to alarm, fear and rage was beginning to catch up.
“I didn’t,” Glancing down in a desperate bid to find something, anything to help him make sense of what was happening, he finally caught a glimpse of what was pinning him in place. Pierced neatly through the soft sleeve of his jacket was a translucent, milky white feather ─ pristine and perfect like shimmering midnight snow. Despite it being so otherworldly, it was something solid and tangible, a confirmation that this was a real thing that was happening.
Glaring, Karkat snapped his gaze back up to meet the stranger head on, mouth full of venom and ready to spit.
“I didn’t fucking ask for you! I didn’t do shit, scrote-lord, I said a dumb fucking thing to my kid brother to just─ fuck you, I don’t know! I didn’t want─!”
“Didn’t you?” The stranger interrupted his tirade with another tilt of the head. “I hope you understand how difficult it is for me to believe that when you so clearly resent him for needing you.”
“You don’t know shit!” The bite of angry tears stung at his eyes and burned at the back of his throat as he continued to struggle in place. He felt helpless, the thick bile of guilt and self blame coming up to mingle with the sensation of barely withheld tears.
He didn’t do this. He didn’t.
Deeming this outburst too trivial to deal with, the stranger turned to face the open window and advanced towards it. Silvery moonlight mellowed into a blue glow that cast mesmeric patterns over the room, like light reflecting off of water.
“If you’d like to prove me wrong,” Glancing over his shoulder the stranger continued, a single persimmon orange iris made visible by the angle “you could always win him back. You have thirteen hours. Fail to retrieve him in time and he’ll wake up into his new life without so much as a memory of you or what occurred here.”
Karkat watched as the stranger stepped into the glimmering wall of water that had filled the open expanse of the window, dipping beyond the surface and out of sight.
His hand flew to the feather pinned in his sleeve, crumpling it between his fingers as he wrenched it free. Movement restored, Karkat started towards the open window at a run, watching the water within turn an ominous black as it trickled past the frame to pool on the cheap laminate beneath. Persistent trickling rapidly grew into a waterfall of ink that poured from the sil, staining the wall as the once calm surface above roiled like the open ocean before a storm.
Thinking only of Kankri, he reached for the surface, fingers breaking through to test the chill liquid embrace before it swallowed him whole.
The overpowering tang of salt filled Karkat’s mouth, cold pressing at his parted lips like unwelcome fingers as his throat fought to stay closed. His world was dark, disconnected and clinging, his chest seizing with the need to gasp in this frigid and airless space. He thrashed, forcing his eyes open against the sting of brine.
Looming through the murky darkness towards him was a pale gaunt face, bone structure warped as though its owner had gotten stuck part way through some kind of transformation from human to something altogether more Hadal. Its large protuberant eyes darted back and forth in cautious examination, pupils barely visible beneath a thick milky film. A jaw full of translucent teeth worked in a numb imitation of a moan, the sound gelatinous and warbled through the depths as the textured column of its eel-like body swayed into view.
Panic suddenly elevated, Karkat kicked frantically in a bid to put distance between himself and the nightmare thing as it continued to advance. His hands flew out in front of him, uncoordinated and flailing as he struggled to get away. The crushed white feather clutched in his fist span free into the watery void, drifting and turning in the turbulent current of his struggles.
The creature’s calcified gaze snapped to the movement, its pupils dilating with desperate interest. Letting loose a piercing screech, it lunged, monstrous jaw stretching until the pallid flesh that cloaked it distended from the stress. Its deceptively thick body thrashed and coiled, writhing through the icy water in a frenzy of need. More of them erupted from the darkness, solid, rough bodies buffeting past Karkat’s limbs as they converged on the feather. Some trailed wispy atrophied limbs that contorted with the effort of self propulsion, others long strands of brittle hair that billowed in the water like macabre wedding veils; all shrieking with anguished craving.
Kicking free of the amassing swarm, Karkat struck out for the faint glimmer of light only just discernible above him.
Air, salt rich and crisp, rushed to offer him harsh relief as he broke the surface. Despite the turmoil below, the surface was a choppy sangfroid broken only by his adrenaline fuelled thrashing and desperate hacking gasps as he attempted to suck down oxygen. Between the dancing peaks of midnight slate the promise of land rippled like a mirage, blurred by the brine clinging to his lashes. Desperate, Karkat forced his protesting body to comply, choking down breath after breath into waterlogged lungs as he struck out for potential salvation.
The crunch of dull grey pebbles beneath his hands felt nothing short of miraculous as he clawed his way up the beach, letting his body float in the surf until he ran himself well and truly aground.
The next few minutes were surrendered to his body as it purged the last of the brine from his airways and vomited it up from his stomach where it had been inadvertently swallowed. Shaking from the shock and effort, he struggled to roll away from the mess enough to collapse onto his back and stare up at the sky. He lay there for a while doing nothing but listening to the rhythmic sounds of the tide as it lapped at his socked feet and ankles, appreciating the clean if shaky intake of air into his burning lungs.
Getting to his feet felt herculean.
Karkat was familiar with beaches, but not ones like this. The beach back home had sand, rock pools, a tiny dirt car park, the occasional lost tourist, and the attention of most of the local stoner population. Before everything had fallen apart it had been a frequent haunt for him and his friends, largely due to Gamzee living a few minutes walk away in an old converted lighthouse. Karkat’s late teens had been spent experimenting against a backdrop of golden sunsets over deep blue waters, sheltered by familiar cliffs and trivial teenage dramas. The beach he found himself on now felt alien by comparison.
Mottled grey pebbles stretched away from him on both sides in a gentle curve that met the horizon ─ seemingly infinite, bracketed between dark water and a wall of thick grass covered rock. Overhead the sky hung like a haze, overcast clouds drawn in smudged charcoal against struggling daylight.
A few feet further up the beach just out of reach of the surf was a mass of black seaweed. Each strand was thin and forked with a capsule shaped bladder at each tip that shuddered in the stiff sea breeze to give the impression of independent life. Poking out from one side of the mass was something pale but passingly familiar. Approaching it cautiously, Karkat lifted away the brittle plant matter to expose the full shape of an antler. Pulling away more revealed the entire skull and the first few vertebrae beneath, all picked clean of rot and gore alike. It seemed likely that the entire skeleton was concealed below the quivering tendrils, although how it had ended up there was a mystery to him.
Looking back to where the strand curved into the horizon, Karkat noticed that similar mounds of varying sizes were scattered at semi-regular intervals all the way to the vanishing point. Somehow, he didn’t feel like checking if any more of them were harbouring corpses.
With a shiver Karkat shook off his soaked jacket, holding it lamely by his side as he turned away from the bizarrely macabre display. His grip tightened as he pictured Kankri being led through this place, cold and afraid in his thin pajamas and naivety.
Clenching his jaw to steel himself, Karkat headed towards a break in the rocks that he hoped would lead inland. He had no idea where he was going or how he was supposed to find his brother, but anymore time wasted in this eerie place wasn’t going to help him.
The barrier of stone that lined the beach was unlike any natural formation Karkat had ever seen or heard of, and yet natural it clearly was. His chosen crossing point was a narrow slot in the rock, just wide enough for him to pass through comfortably, albeit with a minor amount of scrambling. On the other side was a narrow gravel path that snaked between the striated stone like a trench. Although the walls were uneven, they averaged at around Karkat’s height, give or take a few inches. The overall impression was oddly maze-like, the thick purple-brown grass that clung to whatever surface it could twisting in the channelled breeze like a crowd of curious onlookers as he passed.
After walking for a couple of minutes another opening leading deeper in presented itself; the passageway beyond broader and easy to traverse, the next wall steeper, smoother, taller. At every break the rock got less and less natural and more and more like something refined by intelligent hands. Eventually the floor evened out into dark hexagonal flagstones beneath his feet as he turned his final corner to find himself in a semi-open space.
Ten foot walls of unscalable rock formed an uneven octagon, of which the shortest side housed the entrance Karkat had come through. Directly across from him was a wider plane with three imposing archways set an equal distance apart. At their apex, jagged tooth-like ornamentation jutted from the stone in mimicry of a yawning carnivorous mouth, their insides shrouded from the bleak sunlight to form soft shadows that hinted at the space beyond.
Around the rest of the walls were a series of shallow steps built into the rock itself like seats in an amphitheatre, every available space occupied by limp cloth dolls. Their featureless gaze froze Karkat in place at the entrance as the uncanny feeling of being watched crept up his spine.
Nothing moved.
The sound of the tide had long since faded into silence leaving only the faint ambience of the wind through the grass. Unmoving, Karkat strained to listen for any signs of life or movement from the strange ersatz court before him.
There was no scrape of stone or shift of movement, but there was… something. Indistinct and faint, but present, rhythmic and deep with a distinct rattle. Like breathing.
He took a step forward, expecting every blank calico face to turn towards him simultaneously.
They did not.
Relaxing only infinitesimally, Karkat crossed the open space at the centre of the court towards the arches, checking over his shoulder with every other step. The feeling of being watched did not dissipate.
As he moved towards the exit, the odd sound got louder and more distinct until he found himself in front of the centre arch. A laboured wheeze echoed from within, the exact source of the sound lost in the damp reverb of the oddly smooth and glistening walls, visible now that he was up close. He shuffled closer, perturbed but apprehensively curious.
“I wouldn’t.”
Karkat jumped, shock lancing through him like earthed lightning as he plastered himself to the column of rock that separated the arch from its neighbour.
“I mean,” The same casual, masculine voice continued “maybe a kind of fucked up death was what you were going for but I have my doubts.”
Leaning against the entrance Karkat had just come through stood the first real living person he’d set eyes on since his unpleasantly eventful arrival. The newcomer was tall, and would have been bordering on lanky if all of his shapes and angles hadn’t somehow managed to balance themselves out. His hair was styled into some kind of swoopy hipster cut, and was just as unnaturally pale as the rest of him. A pair of dark aviators kept his eyes hidden from view.
Remembering the few details he’d managed to process from the unearthly stranger who’d stolen Kankri away, Karkat tensed.
“Oh.” Looking down at himself, the man removed his hands from where he’d stashed them in his pockets to offer them palm up in a placating gesture. “Dude, I’m wearing skinny jeans and a raglan, there is no way I’m concealing anything in this fit. ‘Sides, if I wanted you hurt I could’ve just let you help yourself to the stickiest of ends right there.” He nodded towards the middle arch that Karkat had been investigating to accentuate his point, palms still raised.
“Why?” Karkat croaked, his voice still cracked and rough from his earlier near drowning experience.
The man frowned, dropping his hands back to his sides.
“What do you mean ‘why?” He straightened up, his head cocking to the side like a dog trying to understand why ‘treat in hand’ had suddenly become ‘treat in closed fist’. “What kind of question is that? Like, out of all the available one word classics to go with here, you went with that one? What are you questioning, even─ the set up, my intentions, or my wardrobe choices? Shit, there you go, we picked a good one right there. ‘What’. What a word. Truly, no one is doing it like her.” He paused, mouth twisting to one side, his nose scrunching in consideration. “Them..? I don’t think words have official pronouns, but the point still stands.”
They stared at each other, Karkat still frozen against the peculiarly warm surface of the wall.
“Huh?”
“Damn, okay, ‘huh’ is also pretty versatile here, I’ll give you that.”
“No, I─” Peeling away from the wall, Karkat shook his head in an attempt to clear it. “What the fuck are you even talking about? Actually no, nevermind, I don’t have time for this. I have to find my brother. Some feathery asshole fucking kidnapped him and I don’t even know which way they went so just─”
Throwing his hands in the air in frustration, Karkat felt a wave of emotion lurch up to meet him, choking out what remained of his voice.
“They probably wouldn’t have come through here.” Something in the other man’s tone and posture softened, and whatever sense of threat Karkat had been working off of dissolved into the background. “I figured you’d be looking for something, anyone who ends up in Border Country inevitably is. Kinda one of those things.”
“And how would you know that?” Karkat snapped, still fighting desperate tears.
“I’m local.” He gestured to himself from hips to shades. “Figured you had that one down judging by the freak out and everything.”
When Karkat neither moved nor said anything, he took a few steps closer into the middle of the court, approaching him like a wild animal who might startle at any second.
“Listen, man, I’m super down to help you out but could you do me a solid and get away from the doors before you lose something of sentimental value like a finger?”
Karkat started, pulling his hands away from the open archways before stepping away entirely.
“Cool, okay. So your brother is probably up at the palace. Good news, that’s a pretty straight shot from here. Bad news, we’re going to have to get through there first.” His new potential ally pointed at the arches ahead of them.
“I thought you said they were dangerous.”
“They are, but─ c’mon man, look around you and tell me you can’t intuit a fucking puzzle when you see one.”
Karkat glared at him.
“I just got here after almost getting snatched by Nessy the Loch Ness monster’s stunted evil cousin in the middle of an impromptu drowning appointment, so no. No I hadn’t intuited that yet, cuntflap. Excuse me if my first thought after a near death experience wasn’t suddenly having to play by the rules of dungeons and fucking dragons.”
“Messy Nessy wasn’t enough of a tip off?”
“Fuck you.”
“You’re going to have to roll charisma for that.”
Seething, Karkat flipped him off with intent before turning to look over their cloth bodied audience. Now that the initial freak out had subsided he could finally take a better look at them.
His first assumption that they had been featureless wasn’t entirely correct on further inspection. Most of the faces were nothing but blank stretches of canvas with the sole point of interruption being the cross shaped seam that helped form the shape of the head. Others were different, however, sporting crosses stitched with coloured yarn where eyes might sit, or painted on teeth with a variety of imperfections. Some were different sizes, longer or heavier than the base design, whilst others sported what Karkat recognised to be astrological symbols painted over the heart. No two were ever the same, although all only played host to one trait each.
Karkat’s would-be helper stood back to let him inspect the selection before offering any type of suggestion.
“Try grabbing one of the dummies and tossing it through. Doesn’t matter which one or where, just take a look at it and toss. You look like you’re good at that.”
Too focused to snark back, Karkat grunted in acknowledgement before picking out a doll with spring green eyes and hefting it from its seat. It weighed virtually nothing. He approached the three passages once again, gravitating back to the centremost arch and tossing the limp form of the doll into it without much ceremony.
The reaction was instantaneous.
The teeth at the apex snapped down, closing off the exit with a wall of reddish rock streaked with white and purple, severing the singular cloth leg at the knee where it hadn’t quite cleared the threshold. A muffled gurgle of discomfort reverberated from within, followed by a grotesque, wet choking sound before the panel of disquieting red stone receded back into place with the marked grinding of stone on stone. As the maw released its hapless victim a pool of dark gore began to spread from the remaining limb. The rest of the doll was nowhere to be found.
“Good thing you don’t have green eyes, although I doubt that’s the only thing it’s going to have a problem with.” His new ally sidled up beside him, the closest he’d dared to get since they’d met.
Karkat looked up at him with a grim horror.
“What the fuck was that?”
“Either displeasure or lunch, I’ve never been able to tell.”
Even up close Karkat still couldn’t make out his eyes behind the glasses, but the distinct elven point to his ears did not go unnoticed. Pretty. Weird, but pretty.
Turning his attention back to the congealing viscera at their feet, Karkat felt that the point hadn’t quite been made.
“I’m sorry, we’re supposed to just waltz in there? It fucking swallowed that thing and you want me to just walk into its fucking mouth like a hapless little meatball? Should I sauce myself up first? Add a little seasoning? Fuck!”
“You’re freaking out, man. Calm down.”
“Calm down? Oh okay sure, why didn’t you fucking say so─ No I will not fucking calm down!” Throwing his hands up to tangle in his hair, Karkat grit his teeth against the oncoming and fully justified panic.
His companion looked on, nonplussed.
“I’ve noticed a pattern in your swearing habits.”
“Well fuck me for being unoriginal, I’m sorry.” Karkat bit back, to which his companion merely shrugged.
“Okay seriously, just stop and think about it for a second. It’s a doorway, not a slaughterhouse. Way easier methods exist for that, for a start, but more importantly this is a puzzle. There’s only one of each doll, right?” His tone remained infuriatingly neutral, which for some reason was helping. “So if one door refuses a trait, the other two will allow it.”
“How the fuck do you know that?”
“Because I just do.” Spotting that Karkat was about to start objecting again, he hastily added “Local, remember?”
Karkat spent a few more seconds chafing over the situation before relenting.
“Right. Fucking Christ, okay. Let's just get this over with. I’ve only got thirteen hours.”
As Karkat marched off to grab another dummy (This time sporting an impressively drawn pair of angry eyebrows) his companion frowned, perturbed.
“Thirteen? That’s… A weirdly specific number.”
“Yeah well,” Hefting the dummy, Karkat marched towards the left most arch with purpose, not stopping to look back. “This is a weirdly specific situation.”
“Yeah. No shit.”
It took them the better part of an hour until every possible doll applicable to Karkat had been tossed into the maw, as well as a good few that weren’t. Somehow his companion had managed to keep track of it all without physical notes.
“Looks like you’re going down the right side.”
Karkat paused in the act of wiping sweat off his brow to stare down the offending tunnel.
“You sure? I kind of need you to be sure.”
“I’m pretty sure.”
With nothing more forthcoming, Karkat chewed at his lip, anxiety welling up to fill in the cracks around their joint certainty on the matter.
“Could you give that to me as a percentage?”
His companion shifted in place, expression kept passively blank.
“Maybe like a solid eighty-nine. It would help if you could remember if you’re a Cancer or a Gemini.”
“Well I’m sorry, I never thought that otherwise meaningless information would ever be relevant in a life or death situation.” Karkat threw up his hands, exasperated and privately relieved to have something to mouth off about, if even for a moment.
He could only put this off for so long, though.
Steeling himself, Karkat trudged through the now widespread mess of viscous red-brown fluid that covered the ground surrounding the arches to stand in front of his chosen path. They’d looked over everything left and nothing remaining would help in determining it any further.
“See you in hell I guess.” Turning to look at his companion, Karkat was surprised to see him standing by the leftmost tunnel instead of beside him. “Wait, what are you doing?”
“Same as you. Walking my path.”
“Fuck, okay. I don’t know why I thought we’d be going together.” Suddenly, not having him by his side whilst he did this made the situation that much more frightening.
Not wanting to bear witness to whatever might befall his newfound friend, Karkat bit back a fresh swell of panicked tears and stepped forward across the threshold. The maw remained open, the light from the court filtering past him to offer what little illumination it could inside the dank tunnel. Karkat walked, following the organic twisting s-bend as it sloped down into the earth, the walls around him glistening with a foul smelling residue.
When the tunnel finally opened out, it was into an enclosed space underground that for all the world looked like the ticket area of a grimy subway station. The cracked tiles that covered the walls and floor were a grotty grey-green that put Karkat in mind of algae in old still water; suffocated and musty.
He turned to look behind him, half expecting the tunnel he’d come through to have been replaced by a blank expanse of wall. Instead, he found three identical tiled arches, and the tall pale figure of his friend.
“I’m Dave, by the way.” Smiling with just one corner of his mouth, Dave held out the limp form of Karkat’s still damp jacket. “You forgot this.”
“Yeah, I─ Fuck.” Fighting to talk past the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat, Karkat suppressed the urge to rush forward and hug Dave. They’d only just met, but the relief he felt at seeing him alive and intact was unreal. Swallowing thickly, he tried again. “Thank you. My name’s Karkat.”
Dave’s smile widened, his hands returning to his pockets as Karkat relieved him of his jacket.
“No problem, Karkat.”
A beat passed between them laced with something Karkat couldn’t quite name. Dave’s mouth parted to say something just as Karkat ducked his head, confused and conflicted.
“You said it’s a straight shot from here to the palace, right? So where do we─” Karkat cut himself off, staring down at his own feet. A million years ago he’d kicked off his shoes after coming home from his closing shift, leaving him in his now thoroughly uncomfortable socks; soaked as they were in sea water and unknown gore. His mouth slanted into a firmly pressed frown as he took in the disgusting state of the tiles and all their hazardous broken edges. “I’m going to fucking catch something down here if I haven’t already.”
Full of revulsion, he looked up to catch Dave’s attention briefly as it slipped past him to a row of beaten up lockers that Karkat had written off as nothing but scenery until that moment. He watched as Dave tilted his head and frowned before dipping around him artfully.
“Hey─”
“Yeah I hear you, plague foot wonder, just a sec.” Elegant pale fingers plucked something from the door of a locker that had been left ajar. Karkat only caught a glimpse of it as he turned it over in his hands, a sticky note or something similar, before Dave crumpled it into his palm. Nudging open the locker, he laughed. The sound was pleasant and mildly distracting.
“Show me those toes.” Grinning, Dave turned around with a pair of brand new red canvas sneakers in his hands.
“Gross, Dave.” Frowning, Karkat reached out to receive the shoes as they were passed to him. A peek inside confirmed they were his size, the number neatly printed on the heel of the insole. “Wait, what the fuck? How? What? No, hold up─”
Gesturing towards the locker aggressively with the shoes, Karkat tried to wrap his head around this apparent stroke of good fortune.
“How do shoes just, I mean, these are my size. Like my exact size, what the fuck? Hello? I don’t… What?”
It was nearly impossible to tell behind the dark glasses, but Dave appeared to squint at him, his lips parting to form a questioning ‘o’ shape only to give up part way through. He straightened up and shook his head.
“You go through all that magical trauma up top like ‘alright, sure, might as well get on with it’ but clean shoes are what does it for you on the bullshit reality metre? You are one interesting dude, you know that?”
Not having an answer to that, Karkat settled for flipping him off as he tugged off his ruined socks and tugged the sneakers on instead. It wasn’t the most comfortable feeling, wearing them barefoot, but it beat the hell out of picking up a random disease off of a subway floor.
“Palace.” He prompted, tossing his socks into a corner by the lockers and only deducting three aesthetic points from his surroundings in the process.
“Take the train and we’ll be there in like an hour.” Still suppressing his baffled amusement, Dave indicated a squat little kiosk by an ageing turnstile on the far side of the room. “We’ll need to pay for it, though.”
“Oh shock horror, I never would have guessed.” Karkat rolled his eyes, keeping pace with Dave as they made the short walk over. “You do have money, right?”
Dave shook his head.
“I can pay for myself, sure, but that’s not really how it works around here. Cash isn’t a concept that ever really caught on.”
Karkat’s heart sank.
“What am I meant to do, then? I have literally nothing on me. Fuck, even my phone ate shit in the ocean and fell out of my pocket somewhere.” Grimly, he glanced down at his shoes, not eager to part with them just yet.
Dave ushered him to the front as they approached the teller, and reluctantly, Karkat did as requested.
“You’ll be fine. Just offer him a memory.”
Confused, Karkat tried to discern if Dave was fucking with him or not before turning his attention to the kiosk. Hunched behind the tiny shelf of a desk was a dome-headed creature with soft, rat like paws that blinked up at him balefully. Not the weirdest shit he’d seen today, but definitely up there.
“Uh.”
“You won’t lose it. Just tell him the story.” Dave was quick to swoop in, his hand grazing the back of Karkat’s arm in an attempt at reassurance. “Something from your childhood or whatever, doesn’t matter so long as it’s real.”
Something real. Preferably something simple, if only for the sake of speed.
Full of uncertainty, interspersed with continual nervous glances at Dave, Karkat told the little creature about his favourite Halloween back when he’d been a child.
He’d been twelve. Kankri was still a fresh new baby, only a few months old, and their dad had graciously allowed him to spend the holiday over at Sollux’s place. In terms of baby based disruption, it had been a major improvement, as Sollux’s new baby brother Mituna tended to sleep through the night, unlike Kankri. Sollux’s dad was both cool and exhausted enough to allow them to stay up late without much supervision. They’d camped out in the living room and traded spoils after a particularly fruitful Trick or Treat, then played video games until two in the morning.
That had been the bit that made it truly special. Hyped up on sugar, Mario Kart, and a false sense of independence, him and Sollux had abandoned the sleeping Gamzee and Tavros and snuck outside into the back yard. The moon had been enormous, just shy of full and squashed on one side, but otherwise clear of clouds or rooftop obstructions. They’d fucked around, kicking leaves about the lawn and trying to scare each other with pathetic adolescent attempts at ghost stories before some supernatural calm had settled over them.
“I think I like boys.” Sollux had looked at him nervously from the corner of his eye, sitting side by side in the damp grass out in the middle of the lawn.
Karkat had considered the admission carefully, turning it over in his head before offering a tentative “Yeah?”
“Yeah. Like, as well as girls, not instead of.”
“Me too, I think.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Nice.” Fighting a grin, Sollux had leaned into him to check him with his shoulder ─ a routine and sacred expression of their friendship. “Now if anyone gives me shit for it they’re going to have to give you shit, too.”
“We were truly solid after that.” Karkat finished up, back in the present. He could feel Dave’s eyes on him. “It was kind of this unspoken thing, but something changed. He never gave up on me, and I love him for that.”
The teller regarded him with his large watery eyes and nodded, reaching out a paw to work a lever beneath the desk before gesturing to the turnstile. Feeling oddly lighter, Karkat passed through.
Once on the other side, he turned to watch Dave approach the booth, curious to know any scrap of history he may have to share from this bizarre world. Instead, he produced a single black feather and fed it through the little slot in the kiosk window. Where he’d been keeping it, Karkat couldn’t guess.
The teller leaned away from it as it came to rest across his little desk, eyeing him with a potent mix of apprehension and distrust. With a stilted little nod, Dave was permitted to pass through the turnstile.
“No currency my ass.” Karkat scoffed, feeling a little humiliated at having shared such an important moment only for Dave to drop something material and not share in kind.
Dave shrugged, not slowing his stride as he caught up to Karkat.
As they continued down the stairs towards the platform, Karkat opened his mouth to inquire about the exchange, only to have his thoughts interrupted by the metallic rattle of the safety blinds being pulled over the kiosk behind them in a hurry.