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Knock. Knock. Knock.
Katsuki growls in annoyance and shifts his headphones to one side. “Go the fuck away!” He lays his head back on the soft cooling pillow and lets out an aggravated sigh as his previous comfort was disturbed and suddenly the air feels too warm, but he just doesn’t want to get up to turn the air conditioner on and listen to the high pitch sound that always accompanies the electric hum of the device. A drop of sweat drips down his back and suddenly the urge to change his tank top overpowers him, but he stubbornly refuses to move.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
“I said to go the fuck away!” He shouts loud enough that he’s sure that his neighbors on either side of him can hear. He just can’t ‘people’ right now…needs to just be alone and settle down the angry buzzing under his skin after a rough day. Fuck everyone else. The extras just don’t seem to get it through their thick heads that he doesn’t isolate just for his sanity, but also for their safety…
“It’s me, Kats… Can I come in, buddy?” Eijirou’s steady voice rumbles through the door and brushes lightly over Katsuki’s unsettled nerves. If it was anyone else daring to violate his sanctuary, he’d blow them to kingdom come for continuing to annoy him, but Eijirou understands. Eijirou is the exception…always.
“Yeah!” Katsuki responds. Eijirou has a key, has had one since they graduated UA and moved out on their own as licensed pros. Not once has Eijirou ever entered without his explicit permission and Katsuki is grateful for that. The others have given him no end of shit about his favoritism towards his best friend, but Katsuki doesn’t give a flying fuck.
The door opens softly and closes even quieter. Steady footfalls whisper across Katsuki’s carpet. For someone as large as Eijirou, the man moves carefully and respectfully through Katsuki’s space…and something about that soothes Katsuki’s unreasonable ire that had sat boiling in his stomach for the better part of today. His daily routine has been fucked for the day, just adding insult to injury when he’d been sent home on suspension after losing his shit on a reporter. The asshole had it coming, and Katsuki is always the swift karma that follows…but today…today he went too far and thoughtlessly threatened to clock the asshole for trying to criticize his friends and the way they handled the war that ended two years ago. Katsuki is still fuming…
“Hey bro, heard you had a rough day today…” Eijirou’s voice is soft and coaxing as he leans up against the doorway to Katsuki’s bedroom, where he’d been lounging in peace and silence.
Katsuki just grunts in response and pulls his silencing headphones from his head to toss them to the nightstand.
“Want to talk about it?...” Eijirou asks, keeping his expression open, but neutral. He knows that Katsuki sometimes doesn’t want to talk, goes non-verbal, and today falls squarely into that category. He fears that talking about it might dredge up the rage that had just started to filter from his system, might breathe new life into his already too tight skin and anger so hot that it hurts. He silently swings his legs to the side of the bed and stalks to his dresser to change his tank top, since it’s still creating an itch under his skin that he can’t ignore.
Eijirou stays in the doorway and waits patiently as Katsuki swaps shirts, then turns on the fan in the corner instead of the air conditioner. He really needs some sort of airflow to cool him down, but the thought of the electric whine makes his skin crawl, so he settles on the fan. He eyes Eijirou, and shakes his head in the negative. He might decide to talk about it later, but for right now…he’s too overstimulated to rehash the whole incident. Chances are that Eijirou has already heard the story from multiple sources anyway.
Eijirou nods back in acknowledgement, and shifts his weight slightly. He must’ve stopped on his way to the gym, dressed in loose basketball shorts and a soft-looking black muscle shirt that Katsuki can admit looks great on him. “Are you okay with touch right now?” The words are soft and when Katsuki blinks when they weigh over him comfortably. He assesses himself, debating.
Eijirou always asks. The other idiots always bombard him, making him irrationally angry and making his senses burn with their too harsh touches and grating tones of voice, but Eijirou…is always so considerate…It makes something within Katsuki’s stomach warm and not in the way that burns or scratches. He rarely craves touch, but with Eijirou…it’s always on offer, but never forced…making Katsuki crave it.
Katsuki nods somewhat hesitantly. Sometimes, he doesn’t know what’s going to set him off. Sometimes, he won’t know until his mouth fires off with hateful words that he was even triggered to begin with. The regret always sets in later and Katsuki hates it, blaming himself mercilessly. Yet, apologies are hard. Logically, he knows he can’t help it, that it doesn’t make him a bad person or a bad hero…but sometimes, he just wishes that he could be different. Eijirou makes him feel different, like he’s not a burden or a ticking time bomb.
Eijirou moves slowly, but confidently to the bed and crawls in next to Katsuki. He sits up, with his back against the headboard, not touching Katsuki directly, but insead holds his arm up in invitation. Katsuki eyes the space created just for him and sighs in relief before gratefully shifting across the covers and up against the firm heat of Eijirou’s side. He tilts his head just right on Eijirou’s chest, one ear down to hear the calming thump thump thump of his friend’s heart.
Eijirou’s arm drops over him, its heavy muscled bulk settling lightly over Katsuki’s shoulder like a weighted blanket as calloused fingertips start to draw calming circles against Katsuki’s skin. Katsuki’s arm automatically creeps across Eijirou’s abdomen and his fingers clutch the black fabric covering his abs. The fabric is just as soft as it looks and Katsuki releases his grip minutely to rub it between his fingers repeatedly.
“Do you like it?” Eijirou murmurs softly.
Katsuki nods against his chest.
“Got it just for you. Thought you might like the fabric when I come over like this,” Eijirou says lightly, and nuzzles his nose against the crown of Katsuki’s head. Katsuki glances up at him briefly, and then hides his unbearably soft expression by tucking his head into that pleasing fabric when there’s a fluttering behind his ribcage.
He’s been in love with Eijirou for a long time, probably since he saw that bright shark-tooth smile for the first time back in high school. He knows his pining is useless, and keeps it close to the chest…unable to release it back into the wild now that he’s aware of its presence. His secret stays silent, locked behind his teeth and wall of insecurities. He worries that even though Eijirou is always so incredibly patient with him, that one day his best friend’s patience will wear out just the same as everyone else’s. Eijirou will probably always just be platonic because Katsuki knows that he’s ‘a lot’ to deal with between his outbursts, habits and peculiarities about everything. His sunshine best friend deserves better than being chained to someone like him. So he’ll keep this particular emotion locked away, even though it’s the most rare thing that Katsuki has ever felt.
Eijirou’s other hand starts stroking through the longer strands of wheat blond on the top of his head, nails lightly grazing his scalp, making a pleasurable shiver skitter down Katsuki’s spine. He leans further into the touch as a little more of his earlier anger fades into the background. Katsuki closes his eyes and hums, rubbing his fingers just a little harder over the fabric between his fingers, trying to stem the urge to stim happily. This is just what he needed. Eijirou just always knows.
The images of the incident today seem to melt away and Katsuki feels a little more grounded, his rock sitting here with him in his solitude and anchoring him in the moment. Little giddy fizzles spark in his chest, making his fingers rub just a little bit harder.
Eijirou’s hand leave his hair, and Katsuki can’t help the little whimper of loss. He closes his eyes in shame when the soothing circles on his arm still. He feels Eijirou shift slightly underneath him, before fingers tap on his chin lightly. Red eyes crack open and Katsuki’s silicone chew stick is held in front of his face in offering. Katsuki opens his mouth and Eijirou carefully guides it between his teeth so that it lays on Katsuki’s tongue, familiar and welcoming.
“Thought you might want that…” Eijirou whispers thoughtfully. Katsuki has an oral fixation when he’s stimming, likes something to squish between his teeth or roll over his tongue. He’s careful to never indulge in public, but here at home he keeps a few of them on his nightstand for whenever the urge arises. His teeth separate from the addictive texture just long enough to mumble a “thank you” around the chewy. He didn’t even realize that he was craving it until it was presented before him without him even having to ask.
“You’re welcome.” Eijirou’s fingers resume their stroking through his hair and Katsuki sighs again, tension flooding from his body.
It feels like they sit for hours, just existing in a quiet soothing bubble of their own creation. There’s a cushion between Katsuki and the rest of the world, allowing his soul to calm and his spirit to settle back into his body. He glances at the clock on the nightstand and sighs, realizing that most of the afternoon has passed, and Eijirou will most likely have to leave soon. He doesn’t want him to go, always dreading it when the moment is gone, when there’s a metaphorical pin pressed against their delicate bubble, threatening to pop it.
“What’s wrong, Kats?...” Eijirou asks gently and Katsuki searches himself to try and discover what gave him away, but is unable to draw any conclusive reasoning.
“Nothin’,” he mutters carefully, trying not to give away his disappointment. He’s sure Eijirou has better things to do on his day off than babysit him. “Sorry…” he mumbles around his stick when guilt for keeping his friend from his life rises to the top. He reserves special apologies…but only for Eijirou.
He feels that nose nuzzle back into his hair. “What on earth are you sorry for?”
Katsuki tenses and pulls the stick from beneath teeth, and clutches the shirt a little tighter in his fist. “Sorry, for keeping you…” he grunts out, unsure of how to be honest without giving himself away.
There’s a hum above him. “Don’t be sorry for that...I wish you would…”
Katsuki’s eyes fly open and he glances up in surprise, but Eijirou’s eyes are closed and he has his head tipped back against the headboard, completely relaxed. “What do you mean?” Katsuki asks, as his cheeks heat. Eijirou must be making a joke, but Katsuki’s hopeless little heart beats a little harder at the possible implication.
Garnet eyes crack open and shift downwards to meet Katsuki’s gaze. He wants to look away from the intensity there. Eye contact has always made him feel so exposed…vulnerable…like a sideshow on display. Yet, he forces himself now…needing to know.
“I want to be here, Kats. Don’t want to be anywhere else,” Eijirou replies simply like it’s the most reasonable explanation in the world. Katsuki squints at him, looking for the lie, but can’t seem to locate it in that earnest gaze.
Katsuki looks back down and focuses on his white knuckled grip on bunched black fabric. “I don’t understand,” he grits out, not willing to stoke the embers of hope in his gut.
Eijirou runs his fingers back through Katsuki’s hair and ruffles the strands lightly. “Do you want me to leave?” The words shoot like an arrow through Katsuki’s core.
Is admitting that he wants Eijirou to stay selfish? He’s not sure. His mind whirs on all of the repercussions that his words might have. If he says yes, Eijirou will leave and take the bubble of happiness with him. But if he asks him to stay, is that going to burden Eijirou? Does he feel obligated to stay as part of their friendship? Katsuki doesn’t want that. Doesn’t want to possibly push Eijirou away…but Eijirou says that he doesn’t want to be anywhere else…is it possible that enjoys being around Katsuki? A thrum of a migraine starts to form behind Katsuki’s eyes.
“I can see you overthinking…” Eijirou teases and chuckles softly even as he continues his soothing touches. “Do you like this, Katsuki? Like when I touch you?”
The question interrupts Katsuki’s spiraling thoughts and he glances back up. “Yes,” he blurts and then feels the heat spread across his cheeks when his brain finally catches up. His eyes widen when Eijirou leans down and plants a light kiss in his hair.
“I like it too,” Eijirou rumbles, and the words tumble through Katsuki like a rock slide.
“You do?” He asks hesitantly, trying to keep his eyes on Eijirou’s face.
Eijirou nods and gives him a fond smile that Katsuki wants to lock in a little box and keep forever. “I’d like to spend more time like this. Like having you in my arms.”
Katsuki has to look down and bury his face into Eijirou’s side when the embarrassment becomes a little too much. Eijirou likes holding him? Likes spending time with him? He has to release the shirt from his clutches so that his fingers can tap against palm rapidly when the urge to excitedly stim races through him.
Another rewarding kiss is planted on his forehead and the stimming only gets more frantic.
“You’re not very good at hiding it, baby,” Eijirou laughs brightly. “Now I’m gonna ask my question a little differently this time…would you like me to stay?”
Katsuki’s brain catches on one singular word. ‘Baby’. His hand is almost flapping and he forces himself to grip once again to Eijirou’s shirt, where it continues to vibrate as if the energy can’t be contained. Katsuki tries to take a calming breath and order his thoughts, he wants to tell Eijirou to stay, but his mind circulates around that one word like a homing beacon.
He really means to say “yes”, but what tumbles out of his mouth is, “Why’d you call me ‘baby’?”
Eijirou coughs lightly, like he too is embarrassed, and Katsuki glances up just in time to see Eijirou’s cheeks and neck flush to match the color of his hair, but then his expression settles into a familiar mask of determination that Katsuki often sees whenever Eijirou is gearing up for a challenge. Eijirou notices him peeking and then gives him a megawatt smile. “Cuz that’s what I’d like to call you, is that alright?”
Katsuki blinks in surprise. Holy shit… feels like his whole brain just shuts down, lights out, nobody home.
Eijirou’s hand goes to the back of his neck in a signature nervous move. “I- I mean…I just…I…I really like you, Kats. Always have. I just didn’t know if you could see me that way. I mean, as more than your best friend…”
Katsuki forcibly shuts his jaw with a click. Eijirou wants him…wants ‘more’ with him… He needs to say something and tries to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth.
Eijirou just looks at him patiently, like he knows…knows that Katsuki needs a moment to process. They stare at one another, and for once, Katsuki finds that he can’t look away.
“Yes,” Katsuki is proud when he finally chokes the word out. “Please,” he whispers desperately when he feels like his simple agreement isn’t enough to express the amount of pure want that threatens to consume him. His hand is going to vibrate a hole in Eijirou’s new shirt with how hard he’s tugging the fabric.
Eijirou’s eyes light up like Katsuki just gave him the answers to the universe. “Yeah? You’ll be mine?”
Katsuki hides his face in black fabric again. “Yeah, and you’ll be mine too, dumbass…” he grunts out gruffly into the fabric trying desperately to tame the manic smile splitting his lips.
Eijirou chuckles and Katsuki listens to the sound reverberating through his chest.
“Baby?” Eijirou calls gently and Katsuki forces his face back out into the light, because something about that word commands his immediate attention. Firm fingers stroke along his jaw and tilt his face up further until their eyes meet again. “Can I kiss you?”
Katsuki will never admit it to anyone else, but he can deny this man nothing. He nods eagerly. Eijirou’s fond smile heats his whole body. He’s just a planet caught in Eijirou’s gravitational pull as lips press warmly to his.