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Oscar knows this, he wouldn’t fall for Logan. Even though the things that are going on, he wouldn’t fall for the American. Their agreement is pretty simple- they are hooking up -since their schedule was too hectic to go out and make girlfriends or find someone to fuck. So, they settled on hooking up without any strings attached. Agreeing -either of them can leave this when they see someone. Till then they're not dating -it's hooking up.
Oscar hates calling it friends with benefits.
Oscar sits on his couch as he waits for Logan to come back. It's winter break and Logan and Oscar are now in Oscar's Monaco apartment before Logan leaves for New York because of his work with Williams.
His ears perk up and his head turns when he hears the sound of the doorknob. He can see the front door from his living room. The apartment is not actually that big -not really. It consisted of one decent living room, a pretty big kitchen, and two bedrooms that also have balconies. It's the usual Oscar-type apartment -comfortable, quiet and beautiful. When he was buying the place, Logan said it was pretty because it had a beautiful view. Oscar doesn`t mind living here since he is basically around the world most of the year and he loves this place.
Oscar hears the sound of plastic bags and Logan's soft footsteps in the kitchen, he turns his eyes to the T.V. It's forever or maybe two minutes when his head is lifted backward. Logan hovers over him as he leans down and kisses Oscar's forehead. Oscar closes his eyes when he feels Logan's lips on his skin. Oscar wants to kiss Logan.
keeping his eyes closed he requests, "Logan come here." The American is probably moving because Oscar hears the sound of something being kept, it's probably the black overcoat that he was wearing. Oscar feels the dipping of the couch beside him, Logan takes Oscar's hands in his, and he rubs the fingers of Oscar's with his forefingers.
Logan asks, "What happened Oscar?" Logan pulls Oscar to face him, Oscar finally opens his eyes and sits properly. Logan is looking awfully and funnily concerned that Oscar chuckles. A smile reaches his eyes when he sees that Logan is frowning.
"Oscar." The American uses his concerned voice, masking it with the voice that he uses when he warns Oscar about something.
"Nothing, I just wanted to be close to you I guess. I wanted to kiss you." Oscar replies as he watches Logan's face go from concerned to smiling in a matter of seconds. He fakes a smirk though as he says, "Yeah? Kiss me then." Logan says smugly, dripping from his voice like it's a habit.
Oscar wastes no time when he gets closer to Logan, thighs on top of Logan's -practically sitting on his lap when he attacks Logan`s lips, with full force and hunger coming out of his core that the food that is in the kitchen is being neglected. Logan almost falls backward with the force that Oscar was coming at him with, but he keeps up. He wraps his hands around Oscar's cheeks and hair. Tugging at the short hair. Oscar moans as he wraps his arms around Logan's Neck and kisses him. Languid and fierce...
Minutes later when their makeout session is still going on, Logan pulls away. Oscar notices he is now on Logan's lap, Logan holding Oscar's neck, Oscar pants and, looks into Logan's eyes, the said man is slightly rubbing the skin there when he says, "Come on we have to eat." Oscar whines as he breaks the little eye contact that they are competing in. The American laughs, as he takes his hands away from where it was resting on Oscar's neck to nudge Oscar in the ribs. Oscar tsks when he lets his head fall onto Logan's shoulder, sighing he says, "We don't have to eat. We can play some movies and stay here." Logan nudges again on Oscar's ribs. Oscar bites Logan slightly as a result of that, Logan insists, "Don't be ridiculous, it's already 11, we are late. We have to eat and then sleep."
Logan nudges Oscar and forces him to get off of his lap, Oscar does exactly that. With a grumpy face. Logan stands up and chuckles slightly when he sees Oscar's face. He takes Oscar's hand in his and drags him towards the kitchen. Oscar follows Logan or Logan makes Oscar follow him.
They put their dishes away when Oscar says, "We ate, let's go watch some movies." Logan takes a glass, fills it with water, and gives it to Oscar when he says, "Sure?" his lips give away a sense of amusement, eyes never leaving Oscar's.
They do end up watching movies and making out a lot. The movie is almost a background noise. When the second movie is over, Logan sighs. He looks around to find the remote when Oscar says, "It's already 4." More to himself than to Logan. Logan looks at him as he nods and turns the TV off. He stands up, Oscar does the same- following him towards his room. Logan knows Oscar's home more than Oscar knows his own home. That should sound unbelievable. But when Logan is here, Logan does most of the cooking, doing laundry, and rearranging his whole living room.
Oscar climbs into the bed when Logan goes to the bathroom, he doesn't bother to take the comforter because Logan eventually will. Logan does exactly that, Oscar peaks his one eye open to see Logan changing his t-shirt. Logan notices this and winks when he starts to take off his pants. Well maybe Oscar does not blush often, but when the blond is with him, it comes without any warning or anything. Just like now. He closes his eyes and feels Logan getting into the bed. And then he`s flush against Logan's chest. Logan's arms around his hips and face in his hair.
"Osc, I have a flight tomorrow to New York, At 3 PM." Logan mutters, Oscar turns around in his grip as he questions, "You're telling me this now?" Logan nods as he holds Oscar again but this time Oscar is facing him. Oscar hits Logan's chest as he tries to find some sleep.
When he was about to fall asleep, two seconds ago he felt Logan kissing his temple. Nose burying deeply in his hair. Oscar is long gone to hear what Logan says next.
_____
Oscar paces through the room with his phone in hand, and Logan is packing his last items in his luggage. He closes the luggage as he puts his phone to charge. Setting an alarm so that he doesn't forget. When he walks over to where Oscar is now, looking down at his phone as Logan stops him holding his wrist. Oscar does, turning the device off, and he keeps it on the dresser. Logan holds his face, slightly rubbing as he smiles down at the Aussie, "Osc, we'll meet in London right?" Oscar looks at him, properly looks at him or maybe his eyes, trying to specify the color. The thing is Logan is a mystery. His beauty, body, mind, and emotion everything is a mystery, and of course his eyes. Even despite the tough year that Logan had, the past year. Logan never cried, he looked sad, yes. But he never cried. Which is a concern to Oscar. Oscar has known Logan for almost all his life, yet he hasn't still seen through all of the blond's layers. As much as he wants to dive deep into the ocean of Logan named vaults. The biggest mystery to Oscar is Logan's eyes.
"Yes, in your apartment. I'll be there Logs." Oscar replies sometimes later, getting out of the trance of logan, logan, logan...
Logan smiles as he dips down and kisses him, Oscar closes his eyes, he doesn't want Logan to go. His apartment will be cold again, it will be a mess again. He will be a mess again. Oscar pulls away from the kiss, to shake his head, like it would make the weird thoughts get away. He rejoins to kiss Logan again. This time holding Logan by his shoulders and sighed into the kiss.
Logan's phone rings, he detaches himself from Oscar and pecks him on the lips before taking his phone and answering it.
"Yeah Alex, I'll be there in 20. Don't worry about me." Logan says into the phone as Oscar fumbles with his fingers and watches the clenches of Logan's back as he talks by gesturing his hands. Oscar bites his lips, his eyes welling up.
Oscar is wondering why is this happening. Why is he suddenly sad because Logan is leaving? It's not like they'll not see each other again. It's just a matter of 20 days. Then they will meet in London. And for the love of god, they're not even dating. It's just two friends seeking company in each other.
Logan takes one last look in the mirror, pockets his phone and wallet, and takes the luggage. All the while Oscar was zoning out looking at Logan. Logan looks at Oscar, furrows his eyebrows as he says, "Osc?" Oscar looks up, Logan gives him a small smile and gestures to follow him as he leaves the bedroom and towards the front door. Oscar follows him, his heartbeat quickening slightly. Oscar sees Logan has opened the door and is waiting for him. Oscar walks over to him, getting into Logan's arm as the latter tightens his grip and kisses his hair as he says, "I'll be going Oscar, the Uber's here." Logan pulls away. He kisses Oscar one more time and leaves, leaving his all-too-familiar smell of sunshine and sandals. Oscar misses Logan already. How will he cope with these 20 days!
Oscar's head spins as he realizes, he loves Logan. He doesn't wanna miss Logan like this. why! He runs towards his balcony to tell Logan to come back. He doesn't have to leave yet. He can skip the car launch ceremony, give them an excuse, and be here with Oscar.
The only thing that Oscar gets is the retreating figure of Logan's Uber. He sinks his back facing the railing and runs his hands on his face. Eyes slightly stinging.
______
It's been a week since Logan left, and Oscar still isn't used to the cold apartment of his that is a mess or the realization that he loves Logan. Logan still calls him three times a day, facetime's him once, and texts a lot. The American isn't making this less hard, it's hard for Oscar already. Crazy how Oscar knows so much about Logan and at the same time nothing at all.
And now that Oscar knows the feeling that he feels for Logan is love and not just some friends things, it's easy. It's easy like driving his McLaren, It's easy like kissing Logan anytime he wants. At the same time, it is hard, it is hard like driving his McLaren and like kissing Logan anytime he wants. Only if Oscar knew earlier that he loves Logan.
He wouldn’t act like he doesn’t care at all. He wouldn’t act like it doesn’t break his heart every time Logan is on the news every other day with some models that he can't care less for, he wouldn’t act like it isn't hard for him to watch Logan suffer, he wouldn’t act like it didn't stir something in him when Logan announced he'd be leaving for New york. Oscar wouldn’t ever play so nonchalant.
Oscar once again leans his head backward on his couch. Closing his eyes, oh how he wishes Logan would been here with him. He runs his hands through his hair and tugs it hard, hard enough to hiss out and remember how Logan used to tug.
It felt nothing sort of like how Logan used to grip his hair and pull his head back to kiss him when Oscar would cry by feeling so good or nothing like when Logan grips his hair to make his mouth slow down.
_______
Oscar goes running, it's 8 in the morning and Lando told Kim that Oscar is pining and he's not getting much workout. Kim threatens him to work out thrice when the winter break is over if he doesn't work out this morning.
Oscar takes out his phone to take a selfie and sends it to Kim with a forced smile emoji. Pauses when he sees he has a new message from Logan. Logan asks him about his morning, even though it's night in New York. He Opens it with shaking hands.
Christ. The effect Logan has on him is kind of amusing.
Oscar runs a lot. He Finally stops when his alarm reminds him that it's 11. He walks mindlessly to find a place to eat or sit. Curses himself when he ends up in front of Logan's favorite coffee shop here in Monaco. Goes inside anyway, he has no energy to walk and go to another coffee shop. He sits at the usual sit that Logan sits on every time he's here. The table beside the window has a view of the streets. The waiter knows him, too well. She also knows Logan. Of course. She greets him with a kind smile and a question, "No Logan today?" and smiles mischievously at Oscar Like she knows something that the Aussie doesn't. He shakes his head as No. Bites his lips when the waiter laughs at his frown.
Logan would've loved this. Laughing with his crinkling eyes.
Oscar looks at the street, trying to find anything that could distract him from the thoughts of Logan. Suddenly his hand flies to his mouth, holding his mouth to hide the gasp that just left. He thinks he just saw Logan, someone getting out of the cab with blond hair and the same height as him. He desperately hopes it is Logan, who came abruptly to surprise him. The figure vanishes into the busy streets. Never looking once at Oscar.
Oscar leans his head down on the table as the waiter brings him his food. Chuckling once she saw Oscar and left after patting his back.
Like any of these taxi cabs or busy streets or the patting him on the back could bring back Logan to him.
Later at night, when he's on the bed, getting ready to sleep. Logan facetimes him. Oscar props his phone on the pillow and rests his head on another.
"Oscar, going to sleep?" Logan's voice comes through the speaker. Oscar nods slightly, his eyes closed.
"How are you? I am stressing over here actually. It hurts my head all day." Logan continues, Oscar looks at him and takes in Logan's voice as a miserable men would take poison.
"I wish you took me with you." This is the first thing that Oscar says, Logan stops with whatever he is saying and widens his eyes. His eyes, the mystery, the open window is open for Oscar to look through as Logan's face softens and replaces with a face of amusement as he teases, "Aww you missing me Osc?" Oscar rolls his eyes as he lets Logan's voice lure him to sleep.
Oscar doesn't wanna miss Logan like this, Who could convince Logan to come back and be here with Oscar?
________
Oscar wakes up at 9, naturally. It's been like forever since he woke up without an alarm when Logan is not with him. He stretches his body, yawning, and climbing off of the bed to go to run. Coming back from the bathroom he checks in phone, stops when he sees he has three missed calls from Logan, and curses himself when he sees his phone has been silent this whole time.
He calls Logan, the line rings three times before Logan picks up. His groggy voice comes through the line as he says, "Hello?" Oscar can picture him turning in his bed when he says, "Were you sleeping, Logan?" Logan hums as he says, "I called you before, but you didn't pick up. What are you doing?"
Oscar scrunches his eyebrows as he says, "Woke up just now, And saw that you called, immediately called you back. Why did you call?"
"I wanted to talk to you.." Logan replies to his obvious question.
"You gonna talk to me now?" Oscar asks amusement on his face.
"Yeah, why not? I could talk to you anytime you want." Logan yawns, and Oscar's cheeks redden as he bites his lips.
"Did overwork ruin your brain? You need to sleep. Go to sleep. I'll be going to run." Oscar says he wishes Logan wouldn’t hang up, but he hesitates to say that.
"No, I'm gonna talk, till I fuck up your running schedule and ruin my sleep," Logan says, clearly teasing Oscar.
"Shut up Logs, I am going to run, sleep," Oscar orders as he cuts the line. Logan is an idiot.
God, he misses his idiot.
_______
Oscar is going insane these days, he knows it's not all because of Logan. He is just too bored these days, and Logan would always find something to brighten up Oscar's mood. But now, neither Logan nor Racing is here to keep him sane. On top of that, it's been 16 days without Logan. And what is a person supposed to do after they find out they are in love with their best friend of forever when their said best friend is world`s away.
Oscar stirs the coffee for the thousandth time in a minute. His coffee is already cold. Taylor Swift is playing on his playlist and he thinks of Logan. Oscar holds the edge of his kitchen counter, hard. his hands already burning because of the hard grip. Logan has gone back to London tonight. He reached there early in the morning and probably is now sleeping. Oscar texted him a few times but there were no replies.
Oscar wants to curl against Logan and sleep and breathe in his all too familiar smell of sunshine or sandals or lilac or whatever perfume he wears. It's not an actual perfume. It's the smell of Logan. Oscar wants to kiss Logan morning and let Logan fuck him straight into the noon. Oscar wants So much.
Oscar wants Logan...
Oscar falls onto his kitchen floor, respectively it makes a soft sound. He leans his back onto the kitchen counter and brings his knees up to his chest. He doesn't wanna cry. Really. All he wants right now is to go back to Logan's and kiss him or hold him or if Logan doesn't feel the same way he can give the man a blowjob. Anything. Anything as long as Logan is near.
A tear falls from Oscar's left eye. Followed by another from the same eye. Then another from his right eye. And then he's crying. He's crying for his hook-up. He's crying for the man that he wasn't supposed to cry for. He's crying for his best friend. He's crying for his daymaker. He's crying for Logan.
Oscar's breath gets stuck in his lungs as he coughs, tears still coming. He can't believe he's crying because he is missing his best friend too much. The man he loves. And then the song on the playlist changes, playing another love song by Taylor Swift and he's crying. Again. Like it ever stopped.
Oscar keeps on crying. He wants Logan to come back and be here.
His coffee on the kitchen counter is cold now.
_______
On day 19, Oscar is jumping. He has a flight to London tonight. He's bouncing on his foot and grinning like never. His usual calm and collected persona fades into the air as he notices he has an hour left for his flight. Then he's on the plane and then he's on a cab to Logan's apartment and then. Finally. Finally, he'll be with Logan. On Logan's arm.
Lando is huffing beside him. Oscar and Lando are going to London basically because of their work at MTC. So, Lando is huffing because he is leaving Carlos here. They'll meet in March.
"Can you please keep your excitement to see your boyfriend to yourself? I'm trying to grieve" Lando complains through his gritted teeth. Oscar turns to him, a blinding smile on his face as he blushes at Lando addressing Logan as his boyfriend. Oscar shrugs.
"You know I've never seen you more happy in my 2 years of knowing you." Lando says, his face finally catching a little smile. Oscar blushes.
When they are called to get into the plane. Oscar jumps up fast and Lando laughs. Crackling through amusement. Oscar is going to kiss Logan again today. Lando won't understand.
________
The flight had been a hell of a flight. He had little leg space, they had an extremely annoying baby on the plane, and Oscar hasn't got even a minute of sleep. Besides all the excuses, he`ll admit. He was too excited. Bouncing on his toes. Lando gave him an annoying look throughout most of the flight.
When they landed, Oscar sighed a sigh of relief and he wanted to vomit from too much excitement.
They had a car waiting outside by McLaren to take them to their respective homes, Oscar never panicked more in his life when they lost the car for 5 minutes. Lando keeps giving a look of distress and amusement all the while. He ignores the look.
As soon as the car was in front of him, he shoved his luggage into the trunk and got into the car as fast as he could. Lando was being late too much. He fumbles with his hands and bounces on his toes. Lips going red.
He practically tries to drive the car fast. The driver assures him saying, it's all good and they're not far from his destination. As if Oscar doesn’t know where Logan lives. he knows the direction like the back of his hands.
The car stops in front of the building. Logan's apartment is so pretty. It has a view of the streets and it's almost on top of the building. On the 17th floor. Even though Oscar fears heights, Logan's apartment is his favorite place in the whole world. Even more than his Monaco apartment.
Oscar jumps out, Lando tells him something like goodbye and Oscar takes his luggage. Stays there till the cars leaves and he walks into the building. The Securities know him, they smile at him and nod. Indicating Logan is at home.
It's almost 9, probably Logan just finished his video games and is trying to make something to eat. Oscar now contains his excitement as he gets into the elevator. Tapping the 17th floor and stepping backward to rest on the elevator holder.
The elevator makes a sound and reminds him that he is on the 17th floor. Each floor is for each resident, so the 17th floor is whole to Logan. Oscar stands there, debating on how to tell Logan. Everything.
He rings the bell, a lot. And by some minute Logan opens the door, he is not wearing any shirt, he has a sweatpant on and his hair is dripping water. Oscar jumps to Logan, Logan catches him right at the moment and chuckles. Oscar wraps his both arms around Logan's shoulder and buries his nose in Logan's neck. Logan holds Oscar by his waist, one slightly on his butt. When he tried to catch Oscar. Oscar smells him heartedly. It's funny how Oscar notices his eyes watering. The first tear falls from his right eye as he lifts his head from Logan's neck and kisses him. Slow. Too slow for the feeling Oscar has been feeling for the past 20 days. And obviously, Logan kisses him back. Gets his hand on Oscar's neck and steadies him. Oscar stands on his tiptoes to reach Logan.
Water leaking from eyes.
When they break apart. They lock eyes. And Oscar licks his lips, tasting Logan on his lips. Logan chuckles as he shuts the door with his foot. He finally speaks up, " You missed me that much Oscar?" as if he's teasing. As if he has no fucking idea Oscar cried for him on his kitchen floor. Oscar closes his eyes, he nods.
"I'm supposed to miss you after I realized I love you right?" Oscar says, he tentatively takes a step back. He will run away if Logan rejects him right now.
"Glad I'm not the only one then. God, I missed you too baby, too much." Logan says as he pulls Oscar flush against his chest. Diving in for another kiss. Oscar smiles into the kiss as tears continuously fall from his eyes. As they break apart. Oscar cries.
Logan cradles Oscar into his arms as he says, "Don't cry baby. I got you. We'll find a way to work out. I love you."
Oscar rubs his cheek on Logan's chest as he sniffles, he smiles and replies, " I love you too. Too much"
Logan hugs him tighter and kisses the top of his head.